


A Malec Story

by Everlarked



Category: The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Explicit Sexual Content, Filling In the Gaps, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood First Meet, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Angst, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Minor Character Death, Original Character Death(s), Their First Kiss, magnus and alec cuddling, magnus and alec nuzzling, magnus and alec sad, their first date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-09-27 21:27:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 121
Words: 277,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10051190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everlarked/pseuds/Everlarked
Summary: Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood are an epic love story with so many gaps in The Mortal Instrument series.In this fanfiction you can read about what happened to them in these gaps. How was their first kiss, their first date, all the other dates? What happened to them while Jace and Clary were at the Seelie Court. How was their sneaking around in the first two books and how was it for them to openly come out in City of Glass. Then I will describe everything that happens with Malec in the last three books, City of Fallen Angels, City of Lost Souls and City of Heavenly Fire. This fanfiction covers the entire Mortal Instrument series and part of the Bane Chronicles. It also covers Born to Endless Night, Lady Midnight and Lord of Shadows. There is explicit sexual content M/M, so consider yourself warned.





	1. City of Bones - prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns this story and the characters

**A Malec Story  
**

**City of Bones - Prologue**

* * *

 

_“It’s a party invitation. For somewhere in Brooklyn,” he said, “I hate Brooklyn.”_

-City of Bones, p.197

* * *

**_Alec_**

Life is hiding in the shadows

To lie and to pretend

Can you open my eyes

And give me what I want?

I want you

It’s that simple sometimes

* * *

 

**_Magnus_ **

To love you

Is there anything else?

That is worth the pain

If you would want to break my heart

I’d let you

Because I want what you want

Love what you love

To love you

Is there anything greater?


	2. A Party in Brooklyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Alec and Magnus meet is during the party in Magnus's loft.

**First Meet**  

 ** _Alec_**  

Alec felt nervous when they left the subway station and entered Brooklyn, in search of the High Warlock, Magnus Bane. The warlock had organized a party and they were going to crash it. Alec didn’t care for Downworlder parties and he cared even less for crashing them. It was asking for trouble. Of course, almost everything Jace did lately was asking for trouble. It was so unsettling, the way Jace had reacted to the little red headed girl. Alec knew perfectly well that Jace liked girls. But he only liked them for a short amount of time, and he was never this interested.

This thing with Clary, it was much more than interested. Alec knew, although he didn’t want to admit it, that Jace had fallen head over heels in love. It was as if Jace had awoken from a dream, suddenly coming to life. His amber eyes blazing with excitement. Alec had never seen him like this, and he was jealous. So jealous that it made him sarcastic and mean. He didn’t like that about himself. So on top of the jealousy he was angry, too, at himself. All in all, he was miserable. He almost wanted to bail on the party, but he took his parabatai oath serious. _Wherever thou_ _goest_ _, I’ll go_. And more so, the Angel knew what would happen if he left Jace and Isabelle alone with a couple of mundanes at a downworlder party. He was the eldest, almost eighteen and therefore responsible. 

As they were walking through the empty streets of a shady neighborhood, Jace, who always walked next to Alec, had actually slowed down and went to talk to Clary. This was one of those things that bothered Alec. Jace rather walking and talking with Clary than with him. He sighed, frustrated with the world and everything in it.

Isabelle, next to him, snapped him from his gloomy reverie, yelling in his ears. “This is the right street!” 

Alec looked around and his eye fell on what looked like vampire bikes parked behind a black car. Normally, Jace would be the first to point them out. Now Alec had to call for him, “Jace!”

Jace turned away from Clary and replied, “Yes?”  

“Think we’re in the right place?” He pointed towards the bikes and Jace came walking up to him and looked.

The bikes _were_ vampire bikes, which Alec kind of liked. He had heard some of them could fly and he always wondered if that was true. Jace was walking towards the bikes and Alec saw him pour holy water from a flask into the engines. Vampire bikes ran on demon energy, and holy water would wreck them. 

“What are you doing?” Alec asked.

“Nothing,” said Jace innocently.

Alec shook his head but let the matter drop. Jace could be so childish sometimes. They walked over to the red brick warehouse which turned out to be an apartment building. A row of buzzers hung next to the entrance and one of them had a name on it: BANE. Isabelle pressed the buzzer and they waited. Nothing happened and Isabelle buzzed again. She never had much patient, his sister, Alec thought. When she reached up for the third time he grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t be rude,” he said.

“Alec-” Isabelle begun, irritation tinged her voice. But before she could say anything else the door flew open and Alec turned.

And stared. And couldn’t stop staring.

Because the man in the doorway was by far the most beautiful man Alec had ever seen. He was really tall. Taller than Alec by an inch or so. He was lanky, with broad shoulders and a slim waist. His hair was jet black and stood up in spikes. His eyelids lilted a bit, showing his Asian heritage. And his eyes, they were extraordinary. Gold-green with slitted pupils, like a cat’s. He had high cheekbones, full lips, a strong jaw. Alec noticed all of these things in one look. And he couldn’t help but think how extraordinary, how gorgeous this man was.

Being gay was hard if you were a Shadowhunter. It could mean losing your Marks, it could mean your parents would disown you. Alec had tried to suppress it all his life. The only person in the world who knew was his sister, Isabelle. She had guessed it, and had also guessed his crush on his own parabatai. Parabatai’s were not allowed to have a relationship like that. But Jace was straight, so there wouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. Alec knew that, but it didn’t matter. He loved him, regardless. That didn’t mean he didn’t see the beauty in other men, or their gayness. And this warlock, standing in front of him, was very clearly gay. Alec had no doubt about it. 

Maybe it was so clear because the warlock was covered in glitter and make-up. His shirt was covered with dozens of metal buckles. His lips were painted a dark shade of blue and his fingers were shining with many rings, the nails painted black. He looked at the party standing in front of him. His eyes rested on Alec significantly longer than on any of the others. And Alec stared back. Magnus Bane’s eyes were fascinating. 

Izzy, in the mean time, had asked Magnus if he were indeed Magnus Bane, which Magnus admitted. Now he raked a hand through his spiked hair while looking at Alec. “Children of the Nephilim,” he said thoughtfully, “Well, well, I don’t recall inviting you.” 

When Izzy flashed him the invitation he said he must have been drunk when he sent that. It made Alec smile a little, even though it was kind of offensive. Then again, warlocks and Shadowhunters never were the best of friends. How would it be any different with this one. Magnus let them in and they followed him upstairs to his loft. But only after Magnus warned them not to murder his guests or use their steles. 

Magnus’s loft was at the second landing. The room was huge and empty of furniture except for a large bar at the side. And it was filled with dancing people. Well, faeries and vampires, who weren’t technically people. Alec took a few steps, then he stood still to let it all in and turned around, trying to locate Magnus. They were here on a mission, not to actually enjoy a stupid party. He spotted Jace talking to a Nixie and went to him.

“Come on, we’re going to have to talk to this Magnus guy,” Alec said.

Together they scanned the room until Jace saw something, “There,” he said and he walked off, Alec following in his wake. 

Magnus was standing next to Clary, talking with her, when they approached. Jace took the lead, as usual and asked the warlock if they could talk, just when they were interrupted by a very mad vampire who was accusing Magnus of ruining his bike. Alec couldn’t help but grin while the vamp was getting all worked up. Magnus eventually lost his patience and twitched his fingers, which resulted in the vampire choking. This was how magic worked, Alec thought, amazed. Just a flick of the finger. Handy. 

“You’ve worn out your welcome,”  Magnus said, while opening his cat eyes widely, “Now, go.” The vampire turned and stumbled out of their way, heading for the door. 

“That was impressive,” Jace chuckled. 

“You mean that little hissy fit,” Magnus said, rolling his eyes,  “I know.” 

The way he said it, made Alec laugh out loud. There was something about Magnus that he really liked. Clary turned and looked up at him, surprised. But Magnus caught his eyes and stared at him, his green eyes shining. Alec stared back, squarely, and he felt a flicker of anticipation in his stomach, looking into those eyes. Magnus seemed so bend on him. 

“We put the holy water in the tank, you know,” he told Magnus. 

“ALEC! Shut up,” Jace shouted at him, but Magnus smiled, shaking his head.

“I assumed that. Vindictive little bastards, aren’t you? You know their bikes run on demon energies. I doubt he’ll be able to repair it.” 

“One less leech with a fancy ride,” Jace snorted, “My heart bleeds.” 

“I heard some of them can make their bikes fly,” Alec said, looking at Magnus, wondering if he knew the truth of that story.

Magnus looked back at him, his eyes were glittering and his mouth turned up in the corners. Alec really liked how those eyes seemed so alive in the beautiful face of the warlock. 

“Merely an old warlock’s tale,” said Magnus, but Alec felt he was downplaying. “So, is that why you wanted to crash my party? Just to wreck some bloodsucker bikes?” 

“No,” said Jace, “We need to talk to you.”  

Magnus lifted one eyebrow, which Alec thought was really cute. “Am I in trouble with the Clave?” he asked. 

“No,” answered Jace. 

“Probably not,” Alec added, which made Jace kick him in the ankle. “Ow!” he yelped and looked at Jace indignant.  

“No,” repeated Jace but he ended up blackmailing Magnus by threatening with a visit from the Silent Brothers. At that Magnus subsided and brought the three of them to his bedroom, where they would have the privacy this talk required. 

 


	3. Those Gorgeous Blue Eyes

**First meet**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

With a deep sigh Magnus led Clary and the two Shadowhunter boys to his bedroom. This was just what he needed, he thought sarcastically, Shadowhunters and Clarissa Fray at his party. He couldn’t very well make them leave, so he hoped they would get bored soon, assuming he could convince them that he didn’t know anything. So far they seemed to believe he didn’t know them, which was only true for the mundane and the blonde. The dark haired brother and sister he recognized as Lightwoods, and of course he recognized Clary. He couldn’t believe he found her at his doorsteps with the Nephilim of the Institute. So far the only good thing he got out of it was a look into the gorgeous blue eyes of the eldest Lightwood.

He was captivating, Magnus thought, and he had enjoyed staring in those eyes and find in them a mixture of guilt, intrigue and pleasure at Magnus’s attention. He was gay, the boy. Alec. Magnus chided himself for being happy about that. Why would he care if a Shadowhunter, a Lightwood even, would be gay. As if he would ever make a move towards a Shadowhunter? He knew better than that. Right? 

“Nice place,” said the blonde one, drawing aside his curtains. “Guess it pays well, being the High Warlock of Brooklyn?” 

“It pays,” Magnus said. “Not much of a benefit package, though. No dental.”

He shut the door behind him, leaned against it and crossed his arms. “So,” he said. “What’s on your devious little minds?” 

“It’s not them, actually,” Clary said. “I’m the one who wanted to talk to you.” 

Magnus wasn’t surprised to hear that, but he still tried to keep up appearances. “You are not one of them,” he said. “Not of the Clave. But you can see the Invisible World.” 

“My mother was one of the Clave,” Clary said, which did surprise Magnus. So she found out, it made sense, she was here, wasn’t she? With a bunch of Shadowhunters. “But she never told me. She kept it a secret. I don’t know why.” 

“So ask her.” 

“I can’t. She’s …” Clary hesitated. “She’s gone.” 

“And your father?” 

“He died before I was born.” 

Magnus exhaled irritably. “As Oscar Wilde once said, ‘To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both seems like carelessness.’” 

Clary looked annoyed, “I didn’t lose my mother. She was taken from me. By Valentine.” 

“I don’t know any Valentine,” said Magnus fast. He got the feeling it would be hard to bluff himself out of this now that Clary brought up Valentine. “I’m sorry for your tragic circumstances, but I fail to see what any of this has to do with me. If you could tell me—” 

“She can’t tell you, because she doesn’t remember,” the blonde boy interrupted him suddenly. Magnus disliked him even more than he already did. The boy breathed trouble.

“Someone erased her memories,” he went on. “So we went to the Silent City to see what the Brothers could pull out of her head. They got two words. I think you can guess what they were.” 

Shoot. There it was, he was busted. Busted by Shadowhunters. He silently cursed himself for ever listening to Jocelyn Morgenstern when she asked him to erase her daughters memories. There was no more need to deny it though. He smiled bitter. “My signature. I knew it was folly when I did it. An act of hubris …” 

“You signed my mind?” Clary said in disbelief. 

Magnus raised his hand, tracing the fiery outlines of letters against the air. When he dropped his hand, they hung there, hot and golden: MAGNUS BANE. 

“I was proud of my work on you,” he said slowly, looking at Clary. “So clean. So perfect. What you saw you would forget, even as you saw it. No image of pixie or goblin or long-legged beastie would remain to trouble your blameless mortal sleep. It was the way she wanted it.” 

Clary sounded anxious when she asked her next question. “The way who wanted it?” 

Magnus sighed, he felt sorry for her, although he had expected her to have guessed by now. As he looked at the boys standing with them in this room, he saw they both knew and felt bad for her, too. He guessed it was a lot to find out, that your mother decided to take your memories from you. Not as bad as a mother who decided to hang herself when she found out who you really were. But still.   

“Your mother,” he answered her question finally. 

Clary replied indignant and Magnus took his time to explain to her what had happened and how it happened. And then he had to tell her the bad news that there was no way to reverse what he had done. She just had to wait it out. 

“But I don’t want to wait.” Clary was talking like a little child, and Magnus was starting to lose his patience with her. “All my life I’ve felt like there was something wrong with me. Something missing or damaged. Now I know—” 

“I didn’t damage you.” He said, more sharply than he intended. “Every teenager in the world feels like that, feels broken or out of place, different somehow, royalty mistakenly born into a family of peasants. The difference in your case is that it’s true. You are different. Maybe not better—but different. And it’s no picnic being different. You want to know what it’s like when your parents are good churchgoing folk and you happen to be born with the devil’s mark?”

He pointed at his eyes, fingers splayed. “When your father flinches at the sight of you and your mother hangs herself in the barn, driven mad by what she’s done? When I was ten, my father tried to drown me in the creek. I lashed out at him with everything I had—burned him where he stood. I went to the fathers of the church eventually, for sanctuary. They hid me. They say that pity’s a bitter thing, but it’s better than hate. When I found out what I was really, only half a human being, I hated myself. Anything’s better than that.” 

There was silence when Magnus was done speaking. Clary was staring at him open mouthed, the blonde was staring at the floor. _Guess I still have it in me to silence a room_ , Magnus thought, when Alec Lightwood spoke up. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said. “You can’t help how you’re born.” 

Magnus’s head shot up and he stared at the boy. Did a Lightwood just say something nice to him, to reassure him even? Alec looked back at him, and for the second time that evening Magnus was pleasantly surprised by those beautiful blue eyes. He shrugged it off, though, not wanting those Shadowhunters to think that he, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, was moping over something that happened to him hundreds of years ago.

“I’m over it,” he said. “I think you get my point. Different isn’t better, Clarissa. Your mother was trying to protect you. Don’t throw it back in her face.” 

“I don’t care if I’m different,” Clary replied. “I just want to be who I really am.” 

Magnus swore under his breath, got out his Gramarye and showed Clary the Rune of Remembrance. She looked through the pages until he took it away again. It was the best he could do, for her to remember. 

Clary looked dazed and then said, “I still don’t remember anything about the Mortal Cup.” 

“Is that what this is about?” Magnus asked, astonished. “You’re after the Angel’s Cup? Look, I’ve been through your memories. There was nothing in them about the Mortal Instruments.” 

“Mortal Instruments?” Clary echoed, bewildered. “I thought—” 

“The Angel gave three items to the first Shadowhunters. A cup, a sword, and a mirror.” The blonde Shadowhunter informed Clary. “The Silent Brothers have the Sword; the Cup and the Mirror were in Idris, at least until Valentine came along.” 

“Nobody knows where the Mirror is,” said Alec. “Nobody’s known for ages.” 

“It’s the Cup that concerns us,” said the blonde. “Valentine’s looking for it.” 

“And you want to get to it before he does?” Magnus asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“I thought you said you didn’t know who Valentine was?” Clary pointed out. 

“I lied,” Magnus admitted candidly, no use to hide it anymore. “I’m not one of the fey, you know. I’m not required to be truthful. And only a fool would get between Valentine and his revenge.” 

“Is that what you think he’s after? Revenge?” said Blonde. 

“I would guess so.” Magnus shrugged, “He suffered a grave defeat, and he hardly seemed—seems—the type of man to suffer defeat gracefully.” 

“Were you at the Uprising?” Alec asked and Magnus locked eyes with him. “I was. I killed a number of your folk.” 

“Circle members,” said Blonde quickly. “Not ours—” 

“If you insist on disavowing that which is ugly about what you do,” said Magnus, still looking at Alec. He found it hard to take his eyes of the boy. “You will never learn from your mistakes.” 

Alec, who had looked back at first, flushed under Magnus’s stare and looked away. “You don’t seem surprised to hear that Valentine’s still alive,” he said.  

Magnus spread his hands wide. “Are you?” 

Alec’s complexion slowly went back to normal. He was closeted, Magnus thought. Not used at being stared at by other boys.  

The blonde one asked, “So you won’t help us find the Mortal Cup?” 

“I wouldn’t if I could,” said Magnus. “Which, by the way, I can’t. I’ve no idea where it is, and I don’t care to know. Only a fool, as I said.” 

Alec sat up straighter. “But without the Cup, we can’t—” 

“Make more of you. I know,” said Magnus. “Perhaps not everyone regards that as quite the disaster that you do. Mind you,” he added, and he caught Alec’s eyes again. He saw an uncertain flicker in them and Alec turned his head. “if I had to choose between the Clave and Valentine, I would choose the Clave. At least they’re not actually sworn to wipe out my kind. But nothing the Clave has done has earned my unswerving loyalty either. So no, I’ll sit this one out. Now if we’re done here, I’d like to get back to my party before any of the guests eat each other.” 

He was about done here and losing his patience. Especially that blonde was a pill, Magnus thought. He was clearly not used to someone talking back at him. He looked positively furious. Alec stood up from the bed and walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Magnus noticed the affection in the gesture. _Oh my_ , he thought, closeted and a crush on blondie. Really too bad. “Is that likely?” Alec asked him. 

Magnus was looking at him with some amusement. “It’s happened before.” 

The blonde shook Alec off and walked over to Clary. “Are you all right?” 

“I think so. I don’t feel any different …” she answered. 

Okay, that was _it_. He certainly didn’t need some weird love triangle played out before him in his bedroom. Magnus went to stand by the door and snapped his fingers impatiently. “Move it along, teenagers. The only person who gets to canoodle in my bedroom is my magnificent self.” 

“Canoodle?” repeated Clary. 

“Magnificent?” repeated Blonde. My goodness, was he irritating or what?

Magnus growled. “Get out.” 

It didn’t take him long after that to cut the whole party short. Clary’s stupid mundane friend had turned himself into a rat. The Nephilim had wracked more than one vampire bike and the vamps were this close to starting a fight. Magnus decided to throw the whole lot of them out of his house. 

“Vampires are such prima donnas,” Magnus sighed, while they were making a big fuss about leaving. “Honestly, I don’t know why I have these parties.” 

“Because of your cat,” Clary showed up next to him. 

Magnus perked up. “That’s true. Chairman Meow deserves my every effort.” He glanced at her and the three Shadowhunters just behind her. “You on your way out?” 

The blonde one, Alec had called him Jace, answered for her. “Don’t want to overstay our welcome.” 

“What welcome?” Magnus asked. “I’d say it was a pleasure to meet you, but it wasn’t. Not that you aren’t all fairly charming, and as for you—” He locked eyes with Alec, dropped a glittery wink at him and added in a whim. “Call me?” 

Alec blushed and stuttered, which was adorable. And then they were finally out of his house. Clary turned, about to follow them when he tapped her on her arm and warned her to be careful. It was Shadowhunters her mother had fled from after all. 

She nodded and left him in his now empty loft. He went to lie down on the floor, staring at his bare ceiling… Chairman Meow showed up and curled up against him while he thought about the night's events. Those Shadowhunters had unlocked something in him. And memories surfaced. Memories of Will Herondale.  

It was another time, a lifetime ago, in which Magnus had gotten mixed into Shadowhunter business. Will Herondale had been beautiful, and though Magnus hadn’t had a relationship with him, he had loved him. Will had this crazy temperament, and Magnus found that same blazing energy in the blonde Shadowhunter he met today. It meant trouble. But then, Will also had a parabatai, Jem.   

Magnus couldn’t help but compare Jem with Alec, as he compared Will with Jace. Jem was Will's other, better half. He and Will had been _parabatai_ , like Alec and Jace, and shared that same evident closeness. And though Alec struck Magnus as nothing at all like Jem - Alec was jumpy and sweet, sensitive and worried, while Jem had been calm, rarely bothered, older than his years - both of them were unusual where Shadowhunters were concerned. Alec exuded a bone-deep innocence that was rare among Shadowhunters - a quality that, Magnus had to admit, drew him like a moth to a flame, despite all his own cynicism.  

Magnus shook his head, as if he could clear it of memories. Memories weighed him down, reminded him of what he once had but did no longer. Jem and Will, so long ago that in a way it was amazing that he still remembered their names. But then, knowing them had changed his life.  

And it had made Magnus swear to himself that he would never again get involved in Shadowhunters’ personal business. Because when you got to know them, you got to care about them. And when you got to care about mortals, they broke your heart.  

“And I won’t,” he told Chairman Meow solemnly, perhaps a little drunkenly. “I don’t care how charming they are or how brave or even how helpless they seem. I will never ever ever-“  

Downstairs, the doorbell buzzed, and Magnus got up to answer it.  

 

 


	4. Out of My League

**_Alec_**  

Alec stumbled down the stairs after Jace. His cheeks still burning at the thought of Magnus’s odd request. _Call me?_ he’d said. It seemed such a ridiculous thing to say. Once outside Jace stopped him and Izzy and instructed them to wait for Clary. Izzy walked off and Alec followed her. She was wiping her eyes, furious at herself for not taking better care of the mundane.  

Clary appeared from the building and Alec took Izzy’s arm, pulling her in the direction of the subway.

“Don’t worry about it,” he told his sister. “You heard what Magnus said, he’ll be fine in a few hours.” 

“But it’s my fault.” Isabelle sounded genuinely upset. It frustrated Alec, he knew his sister's knack for drama. 

“It’s not your fault,” he said, weary. “But it ought to teach you not to go to so many Downworld parties. They’re always more trouble than they’re worth.” 

Isabelle sniffed loudly. “If anything had happened to him, I—I don’t know what I would have done.” 

“Probably whatever it is you did before,” said Alec, bored. It was so Izzy to overreact like this. “It’s not like you knew him all that well.” 

“That doesn’t mean that I don’t—” 

“What? Love him?” Alec scoffed, raising his voice. “You need to know someone to love them.” 

“But that’s not all it is,” Isabelle moped. “Didn’t you have any fun at the party, Alec?” 

“No.” He answered fast, not wanting her to push the subject. 

“I thought you might like Magnus. He’s nice, isn’t he?” Isabelle turned her head and locked his eyes with hers. 

“Nice?” Alec looked back in astonishment. What an adjective to use, nice! “Kittens are nice. Warlocks are—” He hesitated, what were warlocks? “Not,” he didn’t know what else to say. 

“I thought you might hit it off. Get to be friends.” Isabelle sounded hopeful and Alec knew she meant well. She wanted him to be happy. But with a warlock?  

“I have friends,” Alec said, and looked over his shoulder at Jace, who seemed to be lost in thought. Isabelle shook her head impatiently. 

“Come on, Alec,” she said. “You know what I mean.” 

Alec shot her a furious look and stepped up the pace, creating more distance between them and Jace and Clary.

“I know what you mean,” he said, when he was sure they couldn’t be overheard. “That doesn’t mean you have to bring it up here in the middle of the street. What do you even think? That a three hundred year old warlock would be interested in a seventeen year old Shadowhunter?” 

“Why not?” Isabelle asked, innocently.  

“He’s out of my league,” Alec answered crossly. “Now drop it, please.”  

Isabelle shrug and at that moment, Jace, behind them, called out. “Alec! Isabelle! You go on ahead! We’ll catch up.” 

Alec hesitated, wanting to turn back, but Izzy caught hold of his arm and pushed him firmly toward the subway entrance. “Come on,” she said. “I want to go home.” 


	5. The Pleasure of Healing

**Second meet**  

 ** _Alec_**  

The pain was overwhelming. _So this is what it feels to die_. Alec had always wondered about it. When you were a Shadowhunter, death was just around the corner. And now he knew. This was it. He had expected some relief and maybe a white light at the end of the tunnel. But pain was all he felt. And a darkness that was so thick, that he thought it would never end. 

* * *

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

Magnus couldn’t concentrate on reading the old spell book Tessa had sent him from the Spiral Labyrinth. He felt edgy without knowing why. A feeling of unease was creeping up on him, as if something was wrong in the universe. Something that shouldn’t be wrong. When he stood up to stretch his legs for the zillionth time, a fire message appeared on his desk. 

 _Dear Warlock Bane,_  

 _I beseech thee that thou would come and help us. We are in grave need of_ _thine_ _assistance and expertise. Alexander Lightwood has been struck down by a greater demon and is, as we speak, dying of the wounds inflicted on him. I have no cure, and no time, and nowhere else to turn to. Please come. Thou will find we will pay thee exorbitantly._  

 _Sincerely, Hodge_ _Starkweather_ _._ _Nephilim_ _. New York Institute_  

Magnus stared at the note, thinking back at the pledge he made. _No interference in Shadowhunter business._ He closed his eyes, but Alec’s blue eyes were there in the darkness. Shining as he laughed, like a light was flipped on inside of him. He had laughed at Magnus’s stupid joke. He had actually been sympathetic to the warlock. 

_It wasn’t your fault. You can’t help how you’re born._

Magnus had known and even liked only a few Shadowhunters before in his life. But this kind of sympathy from a Shadowhunter, from a Lightwood no less, was certainly unexpected.  

And it was this Shadowhunter who now lay dying. Magnus knew he had no choice, he had to go. Because Shadowhunter or not, Alec Lightwood deserved to live. 

He hurried through his potions, gathering what he needed. Hastily he dressed himself in black tight pants, a dress shirt and a long, flowing coat. He walked downstairs and almost bumped into the green vamp bike parked outside.

“What idiotic vamp has left his bike here?” Magnus muttered.

He quickly ordered a cab and thirty minutes later he was standing in front of the Institute. He rang the doorbell. No answer. He rang again and was just about to do it a third time when the door opened and Isabelle Lightwood was standing at the threshold. Looking exhausted and scared.

“What?” she asked, then recognition showed in her eyes. “Magnus Bane? Why are you here?” 

“Bring me to your brother,” Magnus said. “And tell me what happened.” 

“How did you know? Did someone tell you?” Isabelle sounded incredulous. 

“That is of no importance,” Magnus replied. “What happened?” 

Isabelle walked with him to the elevator while she gave him the details. The greater demon Abbadon had struck his claws into Alec’s chest, and his left leg was in bad shape, too. They entered the infirmary and Magnus saw the tall Shadowhunter boy lying motionless on one of the beds. 

“Where is his own bedroom?” he asked Isabelle. “I want him there, assuming it’s smaller. It’ll contain my magic better. And I need the privacy, no distractions.”

He bowed over the bed and carefully lifted the boy from the bed and walked after Isabelle to Alec’s bedroom. There he lay Alec down on his bed. 

“Is he going to be alright?” Isabelle asked, sounding frightened. Alec moaned, trying to say something to his sister. 

“I don’t know,” said Magnus. “But you need to leave, this is too much exertion for him. He’s trying to reassure you while he needs all his energy to focus on himself.”  

Isabelle nodded. “I’m going to see if I can find out what happened in the library,” she said. “Jace and Clary are missing. Hodge, too.” 

“Hmm, I don’t like the sound of that,” Magnus frowned, but then shook his head. “No time to worry about it now. Go.” 

Isabelle left and Magnus bowed over the bed, to assess Alec’s wounds. He was wearing a black shirt which was shredded and exposed his chest. There were multiple wounds, blood was oozing out of them slowly. The flesh around the wounds was turning a grayish blue, a sign of death. 

Alec, who had been restless when Isabelle was in the room, seemed to have calmed down or slipped into unconsciousness. He was lying very still, only the rise and fall of his chest a sign that he was still breathing. Magnus checked his forehead, and noticed he was burning with fever. This was going to be harder than he thought and for a moment he was scared that the boy might not live through it. 

Magnus set to work, murmuring a spell and rubbing a lotion on the wounds, to extract the venom out of them. Alec twitched and moaned. His breathing became rapid as he suddenly grasped Magnus’s wrist and cried out. It wasn’t looking good. 

Magnus stood up and soothed his hand over Alec’s hair and forehead. “Easy now,” he said softly. “calm down, Alec.”

He whispered a calming spell in Alec’s ear and realized he needed to hurry with getting rid of the venom before it would reach his heart. 

He had to be on top of his game and started sending blue and red sparks into the air, whispering spells, until finally he saw the flesh near the wounds return to a normal color. A sign that the venom was gone. The next part was knitting the wounds together. It was intricate work. Magnus wasn’t a healer, that was Catarina’s job. He did know how to do it, but it would take him some time and quite some energy as well.  

When Magnus was done with Alec’s chest he checked out the head wound, which could do with some bandaging. It wasn’t as bad as his left leg. There was a gaping wound, all the way to the bone. There was much more venom present there. When he started working on it, Alec gasped and moaned. 

“Shh, Alexander,” he whispered, looking up at Alec’s face. “Lie still, I’ll fix you.” 

“Mom?” Alec breathed. “Mom?” 

Magnus smiled a bit, wondering why Alec could possibly think he might be his mother. Then of course, the boy was delirious and had no clue where he was and who was with him.

“Your mother isn’t here, I’m Magnus,” Magnus said softly. “Lie still, okay?” 

Alec opened his beautiful blue eyes and stared at him. “Jace? Izzy?” 

Magnus, who was sitting next to Alec’s leg, got up and hovered over him. “Alec, look at me,” he said intently.

Alec fixed his gaze on him. “Your eyes shine,” he whispered. “Like a cat.” 

“I know,” Magnus smiled and stroked Alec’s forehead. Telling Alec that Jace was gone was the last thing he needed to hear now, so Magnus decided to lie about that. “Look, it’s going to be alright. Jace and Izzy are waiting outside, I am here to heal you now.” 

Alec nodded and closed his eyes as Magnus was softly stroking his head from Alec’s hairline down over his eyes. A calm, soothing gesture. He repeated it several times, until Alec’s eyes closed and his breathing evened out. Then he sat back and concentrated on Alec’s leg. Pushing his energy and magic into the boy, healing him. 

After an hour or so, he sat back, exhausted, drained from magic, but satisfied at his work. He took Alec’s hand in his. “You’re going to be alright, beautiful,” he said, stroking over Alec’s hand with his thumb.

Alec closed his fingers over Magnus’s and held on tight. “It hurts,’ he whispered hoarsely. 

“Hold on to me, then,” Magnus said. “It will fade.” 

He sat there quietly, Alec’s hand on his right wrist, while he caressed Alec’s forehead with his left hand, almost absentminded. Sometime during the night his phone buzzed. It was a message from Bat, a werewolf in Luke Garroway’s pack.  

 _We had a fight with Valentine. Newsflash: the blonde Shadowhunter from the Institute turned out to be his son. I always thought that boy was obnoxious. This explains it, I guess._  

“What?” Magnus said aloud. Alec moved at the sudden sound. “Sorry,” he mumbled to Alec, “Don’t wake up, you need your sleep.” 

The news was epic though, and he started texting several faeries, vampires and warlocks to tell them about it. Magnus was nothing if not a big gossip.  

Isabelle entered the room while Magnus was on the phone with Hotel Dumort, Raphaels den, bringing him a mug of tea. “Who are you talking to?” she asked.

He hung up the phone with Raphael and turned to her. “Turns out your adoptive brother is not a Wayland but a Morgenstern,” he told her.

Isabelle blinked at him, astonished. 

“I don’t understand,” she said.  “What do you mean?” 

“What I said. The famous  brother and sister, Jace and Clary Morgenstern, have apparently fought with Valentine here in New York. They’re both alright, don’t worry. I bet he’s already on his way here.” 

“Jace is Clary’s brother?” Isabelle’s voice shot up an octave. “I can’t believe it.” 

Alec stirred, restlessly. His eyes opened. Magnus felt his forehead burn up with fever. “Izzy?” Alec’s voice was hoarse and wavering. “Izzy?” 

“I’m here, Alec.” Isabelle bowed over her brothers head and kissed him on the forehead. 

“Where’s Jace?” Alec asked.

Isabelle locked eyes with Magnus and he shook his head. _Don’t say anything_. Alec was in no condition to receive shocking news about his parabatai. 

“Jace is alright,” Izzy said. “Don’t worry about him.” 

Magnus gestured for her to leave. “He needs his rest,” he whispered.

Isabelle nodded, kissed her brother again and left the room. Magnus sat back in the chair. Alec’s grip on his hand relaxed a bit.

“Sleep, Alexander,” Magnus said, “Sleep and heal now.”

Alec subsided and finally fell in a deep sleep. Magnus allowed himself to close his own eyes and drifted off.  

The night was almost coming to its end when there was a knock on the door and Jace entered. He looked as if someone had ripped out his heart and stamped on it with high heeled boots. Which was probably true, Magnus thought. Because Jace was Valentine’s son, and Clary’s brother. Magnus prided himself in being an excellent people reader. He remembered how Jace and Clary had acted in his bedroom at the party. He even had to tell them there was no canoodling in his bedroom allowed. They were pretty into each other.  

Then again, another reason why Jace would look as miserable as he did, might be because his parabatai had been on the brink of death.

“Can I come in?” Jace asked, uncertain.

Magnus nodded but put a finger on his lips, silencing him. Jace walked to the bed and knelt down the side of it. He took Alec’s hand and pressed it against his forehead. “It was my fault,” he whispered. “I wasn’t careful enough, I didn’t look out for him as I should.” 

“He’s going to be okay,” Magnus reassured him. 

Jace exhaled, clearly relieved. Alec stirred in the bed and Magnus felt the dead grip on his wrist as Alec’s fingers pressed harder in his skin.

“But he’s still weak and feverish,” Magnus added, “I will stay until the fever is broken and you need to get out.”

Jace looked up at him, his amber eyes blazing fury.

“It’s for his own good,” Magnus hasted himself to say. “He is anxious for you. He senses you here and feels your distress. Go tell your sister that he’s fine.” 

Jace looked at him very distraught. Oops, Magnus thought, I already forgot about Clary being his sister. “I mean Isabelle,” Magnus said. “She wants to know.” 

Jace nodded and got back on his feet. He looked once more to Alec, took his hand in his own and squeezed it shortly. Then he let go and walked out of the door. 

Magnus’s phone buzzed again, but he was fixed on Alec, who was murmuring in his sleep.

“Just sleep, Alexander,” he whispered, stroking his forehead.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of Alec’s face for a while. Staring at the high cheekbones, the strong jaw, the impossibly long eyelashes casting shadows on Alec’s cheeks as the sun started to peep through the half closed curtains.

“You are beautiful,” he said softly. “I hope you know that.” 

As the sun rose Alec’s fever broke, and Magnus saw his eyes move behind his eyelids. He was going to wake up soon, and no longer in any danger. Magnus got up, unlocked Alec’s grip on his wrist and got out of the room.

“Isabelle,” he called out in the hallway.

Instantly the door next to him opened and Isabelle came out, wearing a pink peignoir. “Yes?” 

“I’m going. Alec will be fine, you should go in and be there when he wakes up.” 

Isabelle nodded and headed for Alec’s bedroom. Another door in the hallway opened and Jace came out, wearing blue cotton pajamas.

“You’re leaving?” he asked, “What about Alec?” 

“He’ll live,” Magnus said, regarding Jace closely. He looked ragged. Magnus remembered him and Alec talking about the vamp bikes and thought about the green bike in front of his loft. It gave him an idea. 

“Come with me,” he said. “There’s a vamp bike blocking my entrance at the loft. It’s so annoying. You could take it to Hotel Dumort.” 

“What? No!” Jace said. “Give it to me.” 

“Why would I do that?” Magnus asked. 

“Why not?” Jace retorted.

Magnus smiled. What a night, he thought, while rubbing his wrist. The indentations of Alec’s fingernails were still visible in his skin. First healing one Shadowhunter and then giving a vamp bike to another. _No interfering with Shadowhunter business._ So far so good. 

Magnus shrugged. “Fine, you can have it.”  

* * *

 

 ** _Alec_**  

“Magnus?” Alec opened his eyes, finding the chair next to his bed empty. Then Izzy’s face came into focus. 

“Alec, how are you feeling?” She sounded worried. 

“Where did he go?” Alec asked her. 

“Magnus, you mean? He went home. Did you know he stayed here all night hovering over you. He was amazing!” Isabelle’s black eyes shone. “He really likes you, Alec. I think you were wrong earlier, when you said he was out of your league.” 

Alec closed his eyes again, conjuring up Magnus’s face, hearing his whisper. _Y_ _ou are beautiful, I hope you know that._ Maybe Isabelle was right. 

“You should ask him out,” Izzy said. “But first get better, okay? You really scared me. I thought you were dying on me.” 

Alec smiled, touched by his sisters concern. He looked at her. “I’m sorry.” 

Then Isabelle flung her arms around him and held him tight. “I love you, big brother. Don’t ever do this to me again.” 

“I won’t,” he whispered into her hair. Then he sunk back in the pillows and closed his eyes. Behind his eyelids he saw green-gold cat pupilled eyes looking at him. 

 


	6. Kissed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kissed – For Alec’s point of view check Cassandra Clare’s story. http://cassandraclare.com/excerpts-extras/kissed/

**Third meet**

**_Magnus_**  

Magnus was bored. The news that Valentine was back and had two children living here in New York was already a few days old. Nothing interesting had happened since. This morning he got a call from Catarina, and she was coming over later for lunch. He was just putting on some low hanging jeans and a shirt with the letters BLINK IF YOU WANT ME written in sequins on it when the buzzer went. 

Irritated he walked to the intercom and shouted. “WHO CALLS UPON THE HIGH WARLOCK?”  

“Er,” A boys voice sounded. “It’s me. I mean, Alec. Alec Lightwood.”  

At first Magnus thought he had misheard it, but since the boy had said his name twice, there was no mistaken it. At his front door, at this very moment stood that gorgeous blue-eyed Shadowhunter. This he had not expected. He was so shocked, he almost forgot to open his door for him.  

He checked his reflection in the mirror hanging next to the door and opened it, standing on his threshold, leaning against the doorpost. He hoped he pulled off the careless attitude he didn’t quite feel. People with black hair and blue eyes had always been his soft spot and this one was no exception. He remembered that night spent in Alec’s bedroom and the anxiety he felt that he might be too late to save him from the wounds he'd received from a greater demon. And he remembered, too, how relieved he was when Alec had opened his eyes, and it was sure he was going to live. 

And now he showed up at his door. Limping a little, but still as beautiful as Magnus remembered him. Alec stared at him and then at his own shoes. So shy, so cute, Magnus thought. But what on earth was he doing here? 

“Alexander Lightwood,” he said, enjoying the sound of Alec’s full name. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”  

Alec was looking past him into his house. “Do you have — company?”  

Magnus crossed his arms and stared at him. “Why do you want to know?”  

“I was hoping I could come in and talk to you.”  

“Hmmm.” Magnus said while staring down at the boy. Goodness, he was wearing ugly clothes. The sweater was a grayish black with holes in it and frayed at the hems. The jeans were very last season. He wondered why anyone would ever choose to dress like this. Then again, at the party the other night, Alec hadn’t looked much different. Magnus felt curious, wanting to find out what brought the Shadowhunter at his doorstep.

“Well, all right then,” he finally said, and turned back into his apartment.  

He gestured for Alec to sit down on the sofa and sat down on a tufted ottoman. “Would you like some tea?” he asked. 

Alec nodded. “Sure.”

And Magnus conjured up two Chai’s from Joe, the Art of Coffee, one in his own hand and one in Alec’s. But Alec clearly didn’t see it coming and jumped at the sudden heat of the cup in his hand, spilling some of the tea. 

“By the Angel —”  

“I LOVE that expression,” said Magnus. “It’s so quaint.”  

Alec stared at him. “Did you steal this tea?”  

Magnus ignored the question. “So,” he said. “Why are you here?”  

Alec took a gulp of tea. “I wanted to thank you,” he said. “For saving my life.”  

Magnus leaned back on his hands, wondering for the second time that day if he misheard. “You wanted to thank me.” He repeated Alec’s words. 

“You saved my life,” Alec said, again. “But I was delirious, and I don’t think I really thanked you. I know you didn’t have to do it. So thank you.”  

Magnus didn’t believe his own ears. Here was a Shadowhunter, a Lightwood, sitting on his sofa, thanking him for saving his life. His eyebrows shot up. “You’re . . .welcome?” was all he could think of to say. 

Alec set his tea down. “Maybe I should go.”  

Magnus sat up and leaned forward. “After you came so far? All the way to Brooklyn? Just to thank me?”

He was grinning now. “Now that would be a wasted effort.”

He reached out and put his hand to Alec’s cheek, his thumb brushing along the cheekbone. He didn’t know why, but he felt this sudden compulsion to touch him. To make sure he was real and this was actually happening. 

Alec froze at the gesture and Magnus caught the look in his eyes, surprise and intrigue. Clearly Magnus was having some sort of effect on him.  

Magnus narrowed his eyes and dropped his hand, astonished. “Huh,” he mumbled. 

“What?” Alec sounded scared, as if he had offended Magnus in some way. “What is it?”  

“You’re just . . .” A shadow moved behind Magnus and he picked up Chairman Meow and set him on his lap. “Not what I expected.”  

“From a Shadowhunter?”  

“From a Lightwood.”  

“I didn’t realize you knew my family that well.”  

“I’ve known your family for hundreds of years.” Magnus was searching Alec’s face. Remembering other Lightwoods in the past, remembering Isabelle. “Now your sister, she’s a Lightwood. You—’  

“She said you liked me.”  

“What?” Another unexpected turn in this already weird conversation. 

“Izzy. My sister. She told me you liked me. Liked me, liked me.”  

“Liked you, liked you?” Magnus buried his grin in the cat’s fur. “Sorry. Are we twelve now? I don’t recall saying anything to Isabelle . . .”

This boy, he amazed him. Saying stuff as bluntly as this, it was new for Magnus. A whole new experience. 

“Jace said it too,” Alec continued. “That you liked me. That when he buzzed up here, you thought he was me and you were disappointed that it was him. That never happens.”  

“Doesn’t it? Well, it should,” Magnus said and he realized, as he said it, that this was new information for Alec. 

“No,” Alec stammered. “I mean Jace, he’s . . . Jace.”  

“He’s trouble,” said Magnus. “But you are totally without guile. Which in a Lightwood, is a conundrum. You’ve always been a plotting sort of family, like low-rent Borgias. But there isn’t a lie in your face. I get the feeling everything you say is straightforward.”  

Alec leaned forward. “Do you want to go out with me?”  

Magnus blinked. “See, that’s what I mean. Straightforward.”  

Alec chewed his lip and said nothing. Magnus stared at him and thought the Shadowhunter was very bold, in a good way, to ask him out like that. It took courage. But why he did it, Magnus didn’t know. 

“Why do you want to go out with me?” he asked. “Not that I’m not highly desirable, but the way you asked, it seemed as if you were having some sort of fit—”  

“I just do,” Alec said. “And I thought you liked me, so you’d say yes, and I could try—I mean, we could try—”

He put his face in his hands. “Maybe this was a mistake.”  

Magnus felt oddly touched, seeing the boy so insecure. Closeted. “Does anyone know you’re gay?” he asked him gently. 

Alec’s head jerked up; he clearly didn’t expect this question. Magnus saw he was breathing hard and felt a flare of sympathy for the closeted gay Shadowhunter in front of him.  

He was silent for a while, and then, “Clary. Which is . . . Which was an accident. And Izzy, but she’d never say anything.”  

“Not your parents. Not Jace?”  

Something flashed in Alec’s dark blue eyes. Panic. “No. No, and I don’t want them to know, especially Jace.”  

“I think you could tell him,” Magnus said, remembering Jace kneeling in front of Alec’s bed. “He went to pieces like a jigsaw puzzle when he thought you were going to die. He cares—”  

“I’d rather not,” Alec said, rubbing his fists on his jeans. Still very nervous. “I’ve never had a date. Never kissed anyone. Not ever. Izzy said you liked me and I thought—”  

“I’m not unsympathetic,” Magnus downplayed. He wasn’t going to spill his feelings for Alec, who was clearly hung up on his parabatai. It was all good and well, but he needed more of a reason to even consider Alec’s request than pretty eyes.

“But do you like me?” he asked. “Because this being gay business doesn’t mean you can just throw yourself at any guy and it’ll be fine because he’s not a girl. There are still people you like and people you don’t.”  

Alec was silent for a while, Magnus saw him think. Then he looked up and locked eyes with Magnus and with a deadly simplicity he said, “Yes. I like you.”  

Magnus stared back into his eyes, touched by his honesty and the fact that Alec indeed had more of a reason than only Isabelle telling him that Magnus liked him, liked him, to ask him out. Magnus was again surprised at the beautiful cobalt blue of Alec’s eyes.  

“It’s so odd,” he said. “Genetics. Your eyes, that color—” He shook his head, amazed.  

“The Lightwoods you knew didn’t have blue eyes?”  

“Green-eyed monsters,” said Magnus, and grinned. He deposited Chairman Meow on the ground, and the cat moved over to Alec, and rubbed against his leg. “The Chairman likes you.”  

“Is that good?”  

“I never date anyone my cat doesn’t like,” Magnus said, mildly surprised at his own words. He was actually going to say yes to Alec. He stood up. “So let’s say Friday night?”  

Alec lifted his head in amazement, and Magnus saw his eyes shining with relief. “Really? You want to go out with me?”  

He shook his head and grinned. “You have to stop playing hard to get, Alexander. It makes things difficult.” He started walking to the door. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”  

Coming at the door, he turned around and looked at Alec through narrow eyes. Thinking about what the Shadowhunter had said earlier. 

 “What is it?” Alec said, feeling his eyes on him. 

“Never kissed anyone?” Magnus said. “No one at all?”  

“No,” said Alec, uncertain. “Not a real kiss—”  

“Come here.” Magnus impulsively took him by the elbows and pulled him close.

Alec was tall, only an inch shorter than Magnus himself. He liked that. Magnus lifted Alec’s chin with his fingers and pressed his mouth against Alec’s. The boy was surprised at the sudden touch but didn’t back away. Instead he leaned into Magnus and gasped an adorable gasp as Magnus parted his lips with his own and slid his tongue inside Alec’s mouth. He tasted like the tea he just drank, and something else, something that was completely and uniquely Alec's. And Alec kissed him back with fervor, moving his mouth with Magnus’s and pressing his body against him. 

Magnus started when he felt Alec’s fingers on the bare skin of his waist, but relaxed instantly as Alec slid his hands up under Magnus’ shirt. Magnus loved how intrepid Alec was, and in reply he ran his own hands down Alec’s arms, over his chest, his waist, finding the belt loops on Alec’s jeans and using them to pull him closer. And he realized how impossibly good it felt. The feel of Alec’s lips against his, Alec’s hands on his bare back, his fingers gently brushing over Magnus’s spine, giving him shivers. His mouth left Alec’s and traced down over his throat, kissing the sensitive skin, adding some extra pressure before he let Alec go and stepped back. He felt the rush of adrenaline surging through his veins as he looked at Alec. Alec looked dazed but his eyes were glowing. 

“Now you’ve been kissed,” he said, he reached behind Alec, and yanked the door open. “See you Friday?”  

Alec cleared his throat, trying to catch his breath as he stepped back through the open door. Magnus looked at him amused, thinking how incredibly cute he was. Then Alec turned back at him and unexpectedly took hold of the front of his shirt and pulled Magnus against him. Magnus stumbled forward and the next moment Alec’s mouth was locked on his. Alec kissed him, hard and fast and messy and unpracticed. But Magnus could feel the urgency of it, and how Alec gave it everything he had. And to his surprise he found his own heart stutter in his chest. _This one_ , he thought, _this one fits_. 

Alec let him go as swiftly as he had taken a hold of him. “Friday,” he said and backed away, heading towards the stairs. 

Magnus looked after him, crossed his arms and shook his head, grinning. “Lightwoods, they always have to have the last word.” 

He turned and shut the door behind him, leaning against it as he heard Alec’s footsteps receding on the stairs. Friday, he thought, I’m actually looking forward to it. He grinned a big grin and realized he wasn’t bored anymore. He closed his eyes and conjured up Alec’s image in his mind. 

Those gorgeous blue eyes. 

  

 

 


	7. Between City of Bones and City of Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first meets were set during the City of Bones. The next few meets I've placed between City of Bones and City of Ashes. I've used The Bane Chronicles, especially for their first date. Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan and Maureen Johnson own that story.

**Between City of Bones and City of Ashes**  

 **A** **Malec** **story**  

* * *

 

 ** _Alec_**  

Your kiss lingers 

And I wonder 

Can it be that I could 

That we could try 

And step into the great unknown 

Carefully placing my first steps 

Onto the path of love? 

* * *

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

And just like that 

You stepped into my life 

I felt I was beginning to calcify 

But now there’s a spark  

From deep within 

You have the power 

To turn it into a blaze 

So that my hardened heart 

Will turn soft and placid in your hands 

 


	8. The Course of True Love (and First Dates)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N. This story is available in The Bane Chronicles from Magnus’s point of view.   
> When I first started writing this story, I only covered the last part of the date, but I've rewritten it, and now this chapter covers their entire first date from Alec's point of view.

_**Alec** _

“Alec, come on!” Jace shouted. “Focus!”

Alec swung the seraph blade and hit Jace’s blade hard. So hard that it flew out of his hand through the training room. It swirled through the air.

Max, sitting on a bench on the side, started clapping. “That was cool, Alec!” he announced.

Alec gave his little brother a smile, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of unease. He looked at his watch again, and noticed if he didn’t leave within the next minute, he was going to be late.

Late to his first date.

Of course, no one here knew he was going on this date. Otherwise they would’ve probably let him leave already. But he couldn’t tell them, and he couldn’t come up with any other excuse.

“Okay, we’re done now?” he asked, as Jace strolled through the room and picked up the blade.

“No,” Jace said, frowning. “We just started.”

“I want to try,” said Max.

Alec looked at his brother and cursed himself silently. Max would prefer fighting with Jace over him. Alec hated that. But at the same time his little brother was giving him an out.

“Yeah, good idea,” he said. “You two go fight. I’m off.”

Before Jace could ask him where he was going, he left the training room and hurried to his bedroom. There he took a quick shower and changed into a new, faded-blue shirt he bought for this first date with Magnus. He ran as fast as he could then, from his room to the rickety elevator and through the cathedral.

Once outside he checked his watch. He was supposed to be at Magnus’s house in one minute, while the journey would take at least thirty. There was no escaping it. He was going to be really, really late.

Isabelle would say it wouldn’t matter. She’d say that coming late would compensate for his over eagerness. That he’d be playing hard to get. But that really wasn’t his style, and he hated being late. So all he could do was run flat out to minimize the damage done.

He boarded the F train, and, once in Brooklyn, he ran again, as fast as he could. Of course, that meant he was panting for breath when he arrived at Magnus’s door. He rang the bell and checked the time. More than thirty minutes late.

The door opened, and Alec ran up the stairs to the second floor. The door was open, and Magnus stood in the doorway, holding his cat. He was wearing red leather pants and shoes, and a black silk waistcoat on top of it. He looked incredibly glamorous. Glamorous and so far out of Alec’s league.

Alec felt the nerves flaring up in his stomach, and he wondered for the millionth time if he was making a mistake, going on this date. It was asking for rejection. How could someone as beautiful and experienced as Magnus see anything in him? An uninteresting, seventeen-year-old with no sense of fashion whatsoever.

Magnus raised his eyebrows slightly as he turned and walked into the apartment. Alec followed him, a little reluctant.

“Well, this is unexpected,” Magnus said, as he sat down on the sofa. He looked totally nonchalant and unworried. Exactly the opposite of how Alec felt. His spirits were sinking as he racked his brain for something to say. Did Magnus not expect him? Did he forget about the date?

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Alec panted, still trying to catch his breath. “Jace wanted to do some weapons training, and I didn’t know how to get away—I mean, I couldn’t tell him—”

“Oh, Jace, that’s it,” Magnus interrupted him in the middle of the sentence, catching him off guard.

“What?”

“I briefly forgot the blond one’s name,” said Magnus, flicking his fingers.

The dismissive gesture made Alec consider turning and running away. He was pretty certain that Magnus had forgotten all about him. And why wouldn’t he? He wasn’t impressive or exciting. He was nothing like Magnus, with his flair and his glitter. “Oh,” he said when he found his voice. “I’m—I’m Alec.”

Magnus stared at him, a look of surprise suddenly gleamed in his eyes.

“Yes,” he said slowly, and then the most beautiful smile appeared on his face. “Your name I remember.”

Alec smiled back, feeling a smidge of relief. He hadn’t forgotten him.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Magnus, as he jumped from the couch. He dropped the cat and walked toward Alec. “Have a drink.”

Alec started by the sudden approach of the warlock, and when he reached out to take the glass with red liquid Magnus handed him, his hands trembled and he dropped the glass. His entire shirt was covered with the crimson juice. It dripped on his pants, and as the glass hit the hardwood floor it splintered into a thousand pieces.

Alec’s heart sank as he stared down on himself and the mess he’d made.

“Wow,” said Magnus. “Your people are really overselling your elite Nephilim reflexes.”

“Oh, by the Angel,” Alec stammered. “I am so—I am so sorry.”

Magnus just shook his head and with a gesture of his wrist he cleaned the room. “Don’t be sorry,” he said. “I’m a warlock. There’s no mess I can’t clean up. Why do you think I throw so many parties? Let me tell you, I wouldn’t do it if I had to scrub toilets myself. Have you ever seen a vampire throw up? Nasty.”

“I don’t really, uh, know any vampires socially,” Alec admitted, feeling extremely embarrassed. Of course, Magnus was a warlock, he knew that. And maybe that meant he was good at cleaning things up, but that didn’t make this stupid accident any less embarrassing. Not to mention how ridiculous he looked now, his new shirt had turned purple instead of blue.

“I’ll get you a new shirt,” Magnus said, and before Alec could say anything he walked to the hall into the direction of what was probably his bedroom.

Alec took off his shirt and creased it up in his hand. He stared down at the floor, wondering if it could open up and swallow him whole. To disappear, that would be a good idea. Kind of pathetic, but better than dying from embarrassment.

He heard Magnus’s footsteps in the hall and looked up to find the warlock outright staring at him. He parted his lips, wanting to say something, but the words didn’t come. Why was Magnus looking at him like that? He couldn’t understand the wonder his eyes, and he didn’t know what to do.

Magnus held out his hand, in it a black shirt with sequined letters on it.

“I’m—sorry about being a lousy date,” Alec mumbled.

“What are you talking about?” Magnus asked. “You’re a fantastic date. You’ve only been here ten minutes, and I already got half of your clothes off.”

A smile tugged at Alec’s mouth, although he still felt really embarrassed. He took the shirt and hastily put it on. It read ‘Blink if you want me’ on it. Alec recognized it, it was the same shirt Magnus had been wearing on Tuesday. The day of their kiss. Alec’s first kiss.

Magnus grabbed a red leather coat and gestured for him to follow. “Come on. We’re going to dinner.”

They walked toward the subway, where a lot of people stood, waiting on the platform. Alec glanced around at all the people around him, feeling nervous. He wasn’t used to being visible around mundanes, and it made him jumpy and on edge.

“Can’t I use a glamour rune?” he asked Magnus when the train arrived.

“No,” Magnus said decisively. “I’m not looking like I’m alone on a Friday night just because you don’t want mundanes staring at you.”

Fair enough, Alec though, as they slid into two seats. He stared out the window into the darkness of the subway tunnel, and noticed he was seeing himself in the reflection. Which made it seem as if he was looking at himself. Hastily he turned his head to look at some horrible poster. He didn’t know what to say or do, didn’t know how to act, which made him even more nervous. He rubbed his palms together, they were sweaty and slippery.

At the next stop two guys entered the train and one of them began swinging around the pole in the middle of the train, while the other started playing on a drum.

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen and whatever else you got!” he shouted through the train. “We’re gonna perform now for your entertainment. I hope you’ll enjoy it. We call it . . . the Butt Song.”

The boys began to rap a godawful song, that really made no sense whatsoever. They went on about junk in your trunk and that sweet, sweet ass. The song was ridiculous. Alec pursed his lips together, afraid he was going to burst out laughing, and that Magnus would maybe find that offensive.

When they reached their stop, somewhere in Manhattan, Magnus tipped the singers, and they left the train. Alec saw a scrawny guy sneak behind Magnus and pick his pocket. Within a split second he turned, grabbed the guy’s arm and hauled him through the air, flipping him on his back on the platform, his boot on the guy’s throat.

It was only then that he realized this was a mundane, and he’d used a little too much strength and speed on the guy. The mugger’s eyes were wide as he stared up at him. Magnus turned and looked down at the boy and then at Alec.

The boy on the ground was waving rapidly with his hands. “Dude!” he said. “I’m sorry! Seriously! I didn’t know you were a ninja!”

Alec took his foot from the guy’s neck, and glanced around. A group of people had gathered around them, and he felt their eyes on him.

“I’m not a ninja,” he muttered, unsure what to do next.

The girl standing next to him put her hand on his arm, which startled him. “You were amazing. You have the reflexes of a striking snake. You should be a stuntman. Really, with your cheekbones, you should be an actor. A lot of people are looking for someone as pretty as you who’d do his own stunts.”

Alec stared at her and then at Magnus, beseeching him to get him out of this really awkward situation. What was that girl even talking about?

The next moment he felt Magnus’s hand on the small of his back, warm and comforting, and the warlock leaned into him, casting the girl a severe glance.

The girl reacted instantly, removing her hand, to Alec’s great relief, from his arm. “No offence,” she said. “Let me give you my card. I work in a talent agency. You could be a star.”

“He’s foreign,” Magnus told her. “He doesn’t have a social security number. You can’t hire him.”

Alec stared down at his shoes. “That’s a shame,” said the girl. “He could be huge. Those eyes!”

It was really weird to hear that girl talking about him while he was standing right there, but Magnus’s answer was even weirder.

“I realize he’s a knockout,” Magnus said. “But I am afraid I have to whisk him away. He is wanted by Interpol.”

Alec looked at him, utterly surprised. “Interpol?”

Magnus shrugged.

“Knockout?” Alec said.

Now Magnus was the one looking surprised. “You had to know I thought so. Why else would I agree to go on a date with you?”

“I thought maybe—you know you said you weren’t unsympathetic—” Alec stumbled over his words, chiding himself for being such a tool, and at the same time he was really baffled that Magnus actually thought he was attractive.

“I don’t do charity,” said Magnus. “In any area of my life.”

“I’ll give the wallet back,” said the mugger, while scrambling to his feet. He took the wallet he’d ripped off of Magnus and dropped it unexpectedly on the ground. “That wallet bit me!”

Magnus bend down to pick up the wallet. “This just isn’t your lucky night, is it?” he said to the mugger.

“Your wallet bites people?” Alec asked.

“This one bites people,” said Magnus. “The John Varvatos wallet bursts into flames.”

“Who?” said Alec, fairly certain he had never heard of that name before.

Magnus gazed at him, while the girl who thought he could be huge chimed in. “Totally cool designer. You know, they give you designer stuff free when you’re a movie star.”

“I can always flog a Varvatos wallet,” said the mugger. “Not that I’d steal and sell anything belonging to anyone on this platform. Specially not you guys.” He was looking at Alec now with awe in his eyes. “I didn’t know gay dudes could fight like that. Like, no offence. It was badass.”

“You have been taught two important lessons about tolerance and honesty,” Magnus said sternly. “And you still have all your fingers after trying to mug me on a first date, so this was the best outcome you could expect.”

“Aw, man, I’m really sorry, I wouldn’t want to mess up anybody’s first date with a ninja,” said the mugger to Magnus. Alec was starting to feel uncomfortable again, not that he had felt comfortable before, but he realized once more that everyone on the platform was staring at him.

“WE ARE LEAVING NOW,” said Magnus. His hand was still on Alec’s back and he gently pushed him toward the exit.

“Have fun on your date, boys,” said the girl, while she put a card into the back pocket of Alec’s jeans. He jumped at her touch. “Call me if you change your mind about wanting fame and fortune!”

“Sorry again!” called out the mugger, while waving at them. The rest of the bystander started waving as well and wishing them well. Alec felt his cheeks burn and wished for the invisibility rune, or for some of Jace’s flair. He just didn’t know how to behave with all this attention on him. He was grateful for Magnus leading him away from the crowd and into the streets of Manhattan.

A few blocks away from the subway, Magnus opened the door of a restaurant. It looked a little shady, and a graffiti piece of something that probably resembled a dragon covered the sign, so Alec couldn’t make out the name.

“It’s an Italian Ethiopian fusion restaurant,” Magnus explained while they crossed the threshold. Inside the restaurant, everybody seemed to suddenly stopped talking. Heads craned in their direction, and people were staring.

At Alec.

“Magnus Bane!” Someone hurried over to where they were standing. “You brought a Shadowhunter here! Is this a raid? Magnus, I thought we were friends! You could at least have given me a heads-up!”

“We’re here socially,” said Magnus. He held his hands up in a defensive gesture. “I swear. Just to talk and eat.”

The man, who was apparently the owner of the place, shook his head. “For you, Magnus. But if he makes any moves toward my other customers . . .” He gestured at Alec.

“I won’t,” Alec said, feeling really uncomfortable with all those eyes on him once again. “I’m . . . off-duty.”

“Shadowhunters are never off-duty,” said the man. He brought them to a corner of the restaurant, next to the doors that led to the kitchen.

Alec sat down across from Magnus and wondered if the warlock was regretting his decision of saying yes to him. Of course he regretted it. It hadn’t made sense in the first place.

The waiter who came with the menus was clearly a werewolf. As Alec looked around, he noticed the werewolf waiter wasn’t the only downworlder there. The place was like Taki’s, filled with downworlders. No wonder the owner didn’t like it that Alec was here. At Taki’s they were used to Shadowhunter customers, but downworlders in general got jumpy every time a Shadowhunter came close.

It was something Alec was used to, although he didn’t entirely understand it. Shadowhunters weren’t enemies of downworlders. They had a mandate to protect mundanes and downworlders from demons.

“Hello,” said the werewolf waiter, as he approached them. “My name is Erik and I will be your server this eve— Oh my God, you’re a Shadowhunter!”

The boy locked eyes with Alec, an alarmed look on his face. Alec looked back squarely.

“We can leave,” said Magnus. “This may have been a mistake.”

“No, that’s fine, this seems . . . fine,” Alec said. He didn’t want to give in, just because this werewolf didn’t seem comfortable with him.

“You’re making me feel very threatened,” said Erik the waiter.

“He’s not doing anything,” Magnus snapped, making Alec look at him with mild surprise.

“It’s not about what he’s doing, it’s about how he’s making me feel,” said Erik while he threw the menus on the table. “I get stress ulcers.”

“The myth that ulcers are caused by stress was debunked years ago,” said Magnus. “It’s actually some kind of bacteria.”

“Um, what are the specials?” Alec asked, trying to change the subject. He didn’t particularly like talking about ulcers.

“I can’t remember them while my emotions are under this kind of strain,” replied Erik. “A Shadowhunter killed my uncle.”

“I’ve never killed anyone’s uncle,” said Alec, with steel in his voice.

“How would you know?” demanded Erik. “When you’re about to kill someone, do you stop and ask them if they have nephews?”

“I kill demons,” Alec said. “Demons don’t have nephews.”

Magnus cleared his throat and spoke up. “Maybe I should just order for both of us, and we can share?”

“Sure,” said Alec, throwing his menu down. He felt frustrated by the werewolf’s accusation. He also didn’t quite understand why Erik’s uncle was killed by a Shadowhunter. Shadowhunters weren’t supposed to kill off random downworlders. There were laws, and they should be followed.

Magnus ordered the food, and after he was done, Erik turned to Alec again. “Do you want a drink?”

Before Alec could answer, he added in a soft voice. “Or do you want to stab someone? If you absolutely have to, maybe you could stab the guy in the corner wearing the red shirt. He tips terribly.”

Alec looked at him doubtfully. “Is this a trick question?”

“Please go,” said Magnus.

Erik the waiter left, and Alec stared down at the table cloth. Now that they were just the two of them he really didn’t know what to say. He wanted to apologize for Eric’s uncle, but he couldn’t, because he didn’t know anything about it, and he doubted Magnus would find his apology useful. Jace would say you shouldn’t apologize for something that wasn’t your fault. He was right, obviously, but that didn’t help Alec now.

“I hope you like Ethiopian food,” Magnus said.

Alec nodded, but stayed silent. Luckily it didn’t take long for the food to arrive. His eyes widened when a large plate was placed in the middle of their table, filled with raw kitfo, tibs, doro wat, a spicy red onion stew dish, mashed lentils and collards, and all of it laid out atop the thick spongy Ethiopian bread known as injera. Next to the Ethopian food lay a heap of penne covered with red sauce.

“Enjoy,” Magnus said, smiling a little.

Alec smiled back and ripped up a piece of the injera to scoop up some of the kitfo. The food was delicious and only now Alec realized how starved he was.

“This is the best Ethiopian I’ve ever had. Do you know a lot about food?” Alec asked. “I mean, obviously you do. Never mind. That was a dumb thing to say.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Magnus said, frowning.

Alec was fairly sure that was a polite answer, but not really true. Because, come on, this warlock was three hundred years old. Of course he knew a lot about food. He’d probably eaten everything there was to eat.  

Alec reached for a bite of the penne. As soon as the pasta passed his lips he started to choke. It was so hot. Way too hot. Before he could do anything about it, tears started streaming from his eyes.

“Alexander!” said Magnus, horrified.

“I’m fine!” Alec gasped, but he didn’t feel fine. He grabbed a napkin and pressed it against his eyes, only to realize it was a piece of bread. He dropped it and reached for his napkin, hiding his burning face behind it.

“You are obviously not fine!” Magnus said.

Alec shut his eyes and tried to breathe through the burning. He was seriously considering running to the bathroom and sticking his head under the water faucet. It took all his willpower to stay seated and finally peek over the napkin to see if Magnus was still there.

He was, and he was gesturing aggressively to the waiter, blue sparks were snapping from his fingers.

“This penne is much too arrabiata, and you did it on purpose,” said Magnus when Erik appeared.

“Werewolf rights,” Erik grumped. “Crush the vile oppressors.”

“Nobody has ever won a revolution with pasta, Erik,” said Magnus. “Now go get a fresh dish, or I’ll tell Luigi on you.”

Alec hid his face in de napkin again, and heard the werewolf apologize to Magnus and leave.

“What a pill,” Magnus said.

Alec wiped his face  and took a sip of water. Finally, the world had returned to normal again. Or as normal as it could get. It seemed as if everything that could go wrong went wrong today.

“Yeah,” said Alec in reply. “What have the Shadowhunters ever done to him?”

“Well, he did mention a dead uncle.”

“Oh,” said Alec. “Right.”

_ Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why am I so stupid!!! _

He stared down at the tablecloth once more, completely tongue-tied.

“He’s still a total pill, though,” Magnus said.

“Yeah, sure,” Alec mumbled. He lifted his eyes to regard Magnus for a moment. He had continued eating and was busy scooping some lentils on his bread. He looked so attractive. The black waistcoat was shimmering in the light of the table lamp. The deep v-neck of the garment showed the smooth skin of his chest. Alec thought back at Tuesday, when he kissed him and had touched Magnus’s waist and back. He couldn’t help but wonder how his chest would feel, how warm and soft he’d be.

Between Tuesday and now he had spend his time thinking about what he’d do if Magnus would kiss him again, and he realized how much he wanted it. But this date was going so badly, Alec seriously doubted Magnus would ever wanted to kiss him again.

Magnus suddenly slunk down in his chair, as if he were hiding for someone. “Quick warning. The guy who just walked in is an ex,” he said. “Well. Barely an ex. It was very casual. And we parted very amicably.”

Alec nodded, not knowing what to say to that. The man who had walked in noticed them at that moment, and walked towards them.

“You are scum!” he hissed to Magnus, and then he picked up Magnus’s glass of wine and dashed it in his face. He turned and looked at Alec. “Get out while you can. Never trust a warlock. They’ll enchant the years from your life and the love from your heart!”

“Years?” Magnus sputtered, while wine was dripping from his face on the table cloth. “It was barely twenty minutes!”

Alec stared at him and then at the man open mouthed.

“Time means different things to those who are of faerie,” said the man. “You wasted the best twenty minutes of my life!”

While Magnus started to wipe off his face, the man walked away. Alec stared after him.

“All right,” Magnus said. “It’s possible I was mistaken about the amicable parting.” He smiled and shrugged carelessly. “Ah well. You know exes.”

Alec glanced a look at him, but got totally distracted by the drops of wine slowly sliding down Magnus’s exposed chest. He felt his cheeks burn again and hastily dropped his head.

“Not really,” he said. “You’re my first ever date.”

Magnus didn’t reply. The silence between them seemed to last forever. Alec wished he could think of something to say. He was utterly afraid that Magnus was going to ditch him for being incredibly boring. And that was the last thing he wanted. Because he liked Magnus, he thought the warlock was funny and attractive. And he really wanted to repeat Tuesday’s kiss. He really wanted that.

Magnus’s phone started to ring and Alec’s heart sank. There you go, he thought, there’s Magnus’s escape call.  Magnus answered the phone and the first thing he said confirmed Alec’s suspicions.

“An emergency, Catarina?” Magnus asked. “That’s terrible! What’s happened?”

Alec heard a female voice say something in reply, but he couldn’t make it out. So he sat there, silently, waiting for Magnus to ditch him. He was wondering if Magnus would let him down easy. Would he say that Alec was just lovely, but not for him? Or would he plainly tell him it wasn’t working because he was clearly out of Alec’s league.

“I’ll waste your time another time, darling,” said Magnus into the phone, and then he hung up. Alec felt his eyes on him and waited for the blow.

“I’m so sorry about this,” Magnus said. “It’s an emergency.”

“Um,” Alec said, crestfallen. “it’s okay. I understand.”

“There’s an out-of-control werewolf in a bar near here.”

“Oh,” said Alec, not knowing how to react to this thing Magnus clearly made up.

“I have to go and try to get her under control,” Magnus spoke hastily. “Will you come and help me?”

What? Alec’s head perked up. Did he just ask him to come?

“Oh, this is a real emergency?” he exclaimed, feeling a bit surprised but immensely relieved too. “I figured it was one of those things where you arranged to have a friend call you so that you could get out of a sucky date.”

“Ha ha,” said Magnus. “I didn’t know people did that.”

“Uh-huh.” Alec stood up and shrugged his jacket on. If there was a werewolf going rogue, there was no time to waste. “Let’s go, Magnus.”

Alec saw how Magnus threw way too much money on the table, and snorted. Magnus looked up at him and grinned. “Please,” he said. “You have no idea how much I overcharge Nephilim for my services. This is only fair. Let’s go.”

On their way out, Magnus told Alec they were headed to The Beauty Bar, only a few blocks away. “It’s full moon,” Alec said, craning his neck. “No wonder she turned.”

“Yeah,” Magnus nodded. “I hope no one will get hurt.”

When they arrived, the pavement in front of the bar was filled with scared partygoers. Magnus ignored them and walked into the bar. Alec followed him hurriedly. It was dark inside, and Alec strained his eyes to catch the wolf. He wondered what to do next. He was used to have Jace and Izzy at his side, and he didn’t quite know what to do without them. He glanced around, shifting from foot to foot, as he noticed Magnus looking at him.

“You all right?”

“I always do this with Isabelle and Jace,” said Alec. “And they’re not here. And I can’t call them.”

“Why not?” Magnus asked.

Alec blushed. He felt embarrassed for having to hide this date from his parabatai and his sister. But he just couldn’t tell them. It was impossible. Impossible to be gay and go out on dates with warlocks. He had no idea how to break this news at them, so he decided to not say anything. Which, consecutively meant that he had to deal with this problem all on his own.

“You’ll do great without them,” Magnus said, encouragingly. “I can help you.”

Alec looked at him, a bit worried. Magnus was a warlock, he could help, Alec didn’t doubt that. But he wasn’t used to it, he was used to having Jace and Izzy’s backs. That’s what he knew, and this was unknown territory. He nodded to Magnus and moved forward into the bar, making sure to stay in front of Magnus, to protect him from whatever danger the werewolf would impose on them.

He heard a low growl from the back of the bar and crept swiftly and silently toward the sound, Magnus following in his wake.

Alec narrowed his eyes in the dark, his farsighted rune kicking in. The growling werewolf was moving nervously in the shadow at the back of the club. He didn’t see any mundanes around the wolf, which was a good sign. He fiercely hoped the wolf hadn’t bitten or killed anyone. If so, he’d have to turn her over to the Conclave. He really didn’t want to do that. Some part of him felt Magnus would not appreciate it. She was just a girl, stupid enough to go out on a full moon, but still just a girl. Alec couldn’t help but think about his own sister, who could also do such stupid things, walking on the edge of what was allowed and what wasn’t. He was glad that he was here now to help this girl, to prevent anything worse from happening.

He crept toward the shadows and felt Magnus moving behind him. He lowered himself into a crouch and lunged forward in the direction of the wolf. She gave a low, menacing growl, but backed off a bit, caught off guard by his sudden move towards her. He was thinking back to the training they had with werewolves. Hodge telling him how to calm down a rogue werewolf without hurting her. He needed to get his arms around her neck, in such a way that she wouldn’t be able to put her claws in him or her teeth. He knew very well that the worst thing that could happen to him was a werewolf bite. But if he could wrestle her down, a knee in her flank and his arms around her neck, he could use the rope to bind her and that would hopefully be enough to let her turn back to her human form.

He’d done it in training, with a real werewolf. But it wasn’t that easy in reality. Because this one wasn’t cooperating. She snarled and snapped her teeth at him and he had to move fast, rolling away and coming back again. He had put his hands up, to show her he was weaponless and meant her no harm. He was fast enough to not let her bite or scratch him, but she was too fast to grab her.

“Alexander,” he heard Magnus call from behind and he turned his head. The werewolf sensed his moment of distraction and he saw her swipe at him from the corner of his eyes. He rolled away fast and landed in a crouch in front of Magnus.

“You have to stay back,” he said, breathlessly.

He heard the movement of the wolf behind his back as she sprang. Why was he so stupid to turn his back on the animal, he wondered, frustrated with himself. He tried to turn but Magnus already threw a ball of blue fire at her, knocking her back and sending her spinning.

“You have to remember I’m a warlock.” Magnus said to him.

“I know,” Alec answered, turning around to see where the werewolf went. It was not that he didn’t think Magnus couldn’t take care of himself. It was that he had this specific training and he didn’t know how to do this with someone who wasn’t a Shadowhunter. Then maybe better to do it alone. “I just want—” he started to say, when he saw the wolf on four paws coming straight at them, her eyes blazing. “I think,” he said clearly, “I think you made her mad.”

He saw Magnus look and his eyes widen. “Those are some excellent observational skills you have there, Alexander.”

Alec got up and held an arm out to keep Magnus back. Then he felt Magnus’s hand on his shirt and Magnus was pulling him back with him. Slowly they backed up out of the lounge towards the larger room at the front of the club. The werewolf was following them. When she was in the door opening Alec pulled away from Magnus and jumped at her.  _ Just get your arms around her _ , he told himself. But as he reached for her she swiped back at him, hitting him full in the chest and he was flying through the air. He hit a mirror which cracked by the force of the impact. But Alec had enough training to know how to use the wall as leverage. He jumped up, catching a chandelier and used it to swing himself through the room.

“Oh, stupid Shadowhunter,” he heard Magnus mumble. He didn’t pay attention to that, but landed in a crouch to attack the wolf again. “Stupid, sexy Shadowhunter,” Magnus said behind his back. He couldn’t help but smile a little at hearing those words. But his eyes were set on the wolf, who was pacing again, but didn’t know whether to leap for Magnus or Alec.

“Alec!” Magnus called. This time he didn’t look up, but stayed focused on the wolf. Magnus snapped his fingers, a dancing blue flame appearing from them as if he had snapped on a lighter. Alec lifted his head.

“Alexander. Let’s do this together.” Magnus said. Alec nodded and saw the web of lucent blue lines coming from Magnus’s fingers. The wolf hesitated at the sudden light of magic.

Alec moved around to the back, while Magnus continued his wall of light, preventing the wolf from getting away. Alec was amazed at how this worked. He thought he couldn’t fight together with Magnus, because he’d never trained with him and didn’t know how his magic worked. But it turned out to work very well. Magnus keeping the wolf in a corner, giving Alec the possibility to get to her without getting smashed at.

The wolf snarled and ducked and whimpered, her world filled with blinding light, and everywhere she went, there Alec was, mirroring her every move. She started to fall back and whimpered as the light of Magnus’s magic started to cut across her fur, and that’s when Alec jumped. And he was on her. Instantly he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his knee into her flank with a strength that surprised the wolf. She subsided and sank to the ground, Alec pinning her so that she couldn’t move. He reached for the rope at his belt and wrapped it quickly around her neck. Then he half fell with his body on her and wrapped his arms around her to calm her down. She struggled and bucked and snarled, but he didn’t give her an inch.

He heard Magnus behind him approaching them, whispering some sort of spell, which Alec thought was meant to soothe and calm. Now all the wolf had to do was change back into her human form. Alec waited patiently. Magnus behind him was urging her to change. “Come on, Marcy, come on!” he said.

The werewolf shuddered and changed, bones popping and fur flowing away, and in a few long, agonizing moments Alec found himself with his arms wrapped around a girl dressed only in the torn ribbons of a dress. He felt the warmth of her naked body in his arms and let her go quickly, feeling very uncomfortable with the sudden nearness of a girl. He felt he preferred the wolf over the girl in his arms.

The girl, Magnus had called her Marcy, sat back and wrapped her arms around her legs, whimpering softly. Magnus, who was standing in front of them pulled off his coat, knelt down and wrapped it around her. She looked up at him, “Thank you so much,” she said softly. Her eyes were burning and her voice shook. “Did I . . . please, did I hurt anybody?”

“No,” said Alec, wanting nothing more than to reassure her. “No, you didn’t hurt anyone at all.”

“There was someone with me . . .” Marcy began.

“She was scratched,” Magnus said, and Alec liked how soothing and reassuring he sounded. “She’s fine. I healed her.”

“But I hurt her,” Marcy said, and put her face in her blood-stained hands.

Alec reached out and touched Marcy’s back, rubbing it gently. “She’s fine,” he said. “You didn’t—I  _ know _ you didn’t want to hurt her, that you didn’t want to hurt anyone. You can’t help being what you are. You’re going to figure it all out.”

“She forgives you,” Magnus said.

Marcy had turned to Alec and her eyes went wide. “Oh my God, you’re a Shadowhunter,” she whispered, and Alec heard the fear in her voice. It was baffling to him that anyone would be afraid of him.  “What are you going to do to me?” She shut her eyes. “No. I’m sorry. You stopped me. If you hadn’t been here—whatever you do to me, I deserve it.”

“I’m not going to do anything to you,” said Alec, and Marcy opened her eyes and looked up into his face. He tried to put every ounce of sympathy he felt for the girl in his words. “I meant what I said. I’m not going to tell anyone. I promise.”

She stared at him in wonder, not quite believing him. But as they locked eyes she sat up and nodded.

“Thank you,” she said calmly. “Thank you both.”

“Marcy?” someone called and Marcy looked up. “Adrienne!”

A girl hurried through the room, and threw herself to the ground where she enveloped Marcy in her arms.

“Are you hurt? Show me,” Marcy whispered into her shoulder.

“It’s fine, it’s nothing, it’s absolutely all right,” said Adrienne, stroking Marcy’s hair.

“I’m so sorry,” said Marcy, cupping Adrienne’s face. They kissed, heedless of the fact that Alec and Magnus were standing right there. Alec looked at them with a smidge of jealousy. To be so openly gay, he wished he could be like that. This was his first date with a guy, his first date ever, and he thought there was no way he could do what they did. He scrambled up from the floor and straightened his crumpled t-shirt, while looking at Magnus. Magnus was looking down at the girls, but then felt Alec’s gaze on him. He looked up into Alec’s eyes and smiled. Alec smiled back but the movement hurt. He became aware of the scratches on his skin. He took out his stele and quickly drew a few  _ iratzes _ on his arms and his cheek.

Slowly the room was filling with people. Someone came towards them, saying something to Magnus which Alec didn’t quite catch. Magnus bowed his head at the man. “Thank you very much.”

Alec looked around at the people swirling around him, continuing their night out as if nothing had happened. He wondered if any of them would remember the werewolf. The Clave would not like that.

“That was nice, what you said to her,” he heard Magnus say to him.

“Uh . . . it was nothing,” he replied, feeling a bit embarrassed. All he did was his job. “I mean, that’s what we’re here for, aren’t we? Shadowhunters, I mean. We have to help anyone who needs help. We have to protect people.”

Magnus looked at him, surprised. Alec wondered why. Was it so strange, what he had said? He wiped with his forearm over his head, feeling sweaty from the exertion.

“I don’t think we’re going to get a drink in here; there’s much too long a line,” said Magnus slowly. “Let’s have a nightcap back at my place.”

Alec nodded and followed the warlock out of the bar. “Shall we walk?” Magnus suggested. It was warm outside and Alec preferred walking over the stuffy subway. He enjoyed the evening air, looking around the vibrant city. In the distance he saw the Brooklyn Bridge white in the moonlight. He cast a glance to Magnus beside him. Now that he had given his coat to the girl, he was wearing nothing but the silk waistcoat. Alec appreciated the way the moonlight beamed on his bare arms, outlining the muscles on his biceps. His arms were not like Alec’s or Jace’s. But then again, Magnus probably didn’t train a minimum of three hours a day. Alec didn’t care about big muscles anyway, he thought the warlock looked gorgeous, the moonlight turning his skin a dark golden brown.

Alec felt a great relief at how the night had turned out. It had gone off to such a bad start, he had been so sure Magnus was going to ditch him. But now here they were, after working together to help that werewolf girl, walking in the moonlight, on their way to Magnus’s loft. He felt a strong urge to share with Magnus how it had been for him, tonight.

“I’m really glad your friend called you to help that girl,” he started saying as they walked. “I’m really glad you asked me along. I was—I was surprised you did, after how things were going before.”

“I was worried you were having a terrible time,” Magnus replied.

“No,” said Alec, and he felt a blush creep up his cheeks. “No, that’s not it at all. Did I seem— I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Magnus said softly.

“It was my fault.” Alec felt the words rushing out of him, not able to keep them back. He didn’t know how to be anything else but honest. “I got everything wrong even before I showed up, and you knew how to order at the restaurant and I had to stop myself laughing at that song on the subway. I have no idea what I’m doing and you’re, um, glamorous.”

“What?” Magnus sounded so surprised Alec was sure he had said something very wrong again. He looked at Magnus, afraid that he was going to tell him that this wasn’t going to work out.

But he didn’t. He regarded him thoughtfully for a moment and then he said, “I thought that terrible song was hilarious.” He threw back his head and laughed. Alec cracked up and just like that they were laughing together. And he loved it. He loved the sound of Magnus’s voice when he laughed and he loved the way his green-gold eyes shone in the night.

When they reached Magnus’s home, Magnus laid a hand on the front door and it swung open. Handy, Alec thought, who needs keys when you’re a warlock.

“I lost my keys maybe fifteen years ago,” Magnus explained, Alec gave him a smile. They started up the stairs together. Alec felt a nervous flutter in his stomach. Being alone with Magnus in his apartment building, he felt the atmosphere change and his breathing quickened. He saw Magnus casting him a sidelong look and he bit his lip.

It was so strange, in a few seconds everything was different. Tension tinged the air. He felt his skin prickle and his resolve harden as Magnus stopped walking. For a short moment Alec froze, but then he reached out and grabbed the warlock’s arm, wrapping his fingers around the bare, soft skin.  “Magnus,” he said and he hardly recognized his own voice, sounding low and urgent in the empty stairway. Magnus turned to him and he saw how his breath caught.

Then he leaned in, pulling Magnus toward him and he pressed his mouth on Magnus’s. He saw Magnus close his eyes and surrender to the soft and gentle kiss. Alec parted his lips and felt Magnus part his under the pressure. He slid his tongue in Magnus’s mouth and twirled it around, searching, tasting Magnus, thoroughly enjoying the feel of the warlock against him. He deepened the kiss and felt the nervous flare in his stomach turn to a blaze as his mouth moved with more urgency against Magnus’s and Magnus kissing him back with equal ardor. He moved his hands until they were on Magnus’s waist, touching the bare skin between his waistcoat and leather pants and he pressed himself against him. The wood of the banister creaking under the pressure. He felt Magnus’s arms circle around him and sliding under his shirt. His fingers tracing patterns over the muscles in Alec’s back, making his skin prickle.

Kissing Magnus was exhilarating, as it had been last Tuesday. But then he had felt so overwhelmed, now he was much more in control. Pulling at the warlock to be closer still. Moving his lips and his tongue with more purpose.

Magnus moved a step upwards, pulling Alec after him and without stopping the kiss they stumbled over the second floor landing towards Magnus’s door. Alec felt Magnus’s hand leaving his back and his finger snapped. The door to his apartment blew open and smashed against the wall and Magnus pulled Alec over the doorstep into his house.

Alec’s mouth left Magnus’s and he trailed down a line of kisses over Magnus’s jaw, to his ear and from his ear down to the base of Magnus’s throat. Copying what Magnus had done on Tuesday. Magnus moved him to the sofa, sat down on it, and pulled Alec on top of him. Magnus flattened out on his back and Alec went down with him, burying his face in Magnus’s neck as the warlock kissed him. The next thing he felt was Magnus’s teeth biting his neck and he whimpered at the sudden sting, pushing his body against Magnus, wanting to be closer, to feel more. He bucked his hips against the warlock and breathed heavily. The flutters in his stomach had spread out over his whole body, his nerves on edge and he was getting hard. Magnus slid his hands up under his shirt, mapping Alec’s body. Alec lifted his head and kissed Magnus’s collarbone, his throat and then up until he found his lips again. His hands were touching Magnus’s upper arms, then his shoulders and his chest and he reached for the buttons on the waistcoat. His fingers were shaking as he undid them and slid his hands over the bare skin of Magnus’s chest and flat stomach. So soft and smooth like he had expected it to be, nothing like his own scarred skin.

Magnus pulled one of his hands from Alec’s back and pressed it against his cheek and Alec leaned into the curve of his hand and kissed the palm softly.

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered his full name. No one ever called him that, and he liked hearing it from Magnus. The way he said his name, he made it sound as if it was a wonderful name, a valuable thing. A caress.

“Maybe we should wait a second.” Magnus said. His other hand left Alec’s back and was now splayed across his chest, pushing him slightly.

As if roughly awakened from a sweet dream, Alec drew away quickly and moved off the sofa. He felt his body shake. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, thinking back, trying to find if there was something he had done which might have hurt Magnus.

“No,” Magnus said. “Far from it.”

“Are you sending me home?” He tried to make sense of why the warlock had told him to back off.

Magnus held up his hands, in an apologetic gesture. “I have no interest in telling you what to do, Alexander. I don’t want to persuade you to do anything or convince you not to do anything. I’m just saying that you might want to stop and think for a moment. And then you can decide—whatever you want to decide.”

Alec felt a bone deep frustration at those words. Now all of a sudden he was ordered to think. And he couldn’t think. Not when he felt what he felt. His blood coursing hot through his veins, pounding in his ears. He could swear he still felt Magnus touching him, as if he were still lying on the sofa instead of standing in the middle of the loft. He reached up and pulled his hands through his hair, trying to find grounding. He felt as if the world was twirling around him like a kaleidoscope. How could Magnus possibly ask him to think, didn’t he know it was impossible?

He started pacing the floor, trying to keep his thoughts in some sort of order. Why did Magnus stop him? He believed him when he said he hadn’t done anything wrong, so that wasn’t it. But it was going awfully fast. Maybe that was why he needed to think. What did he want? Continue down this line? This was his first date and his second kiss and they were already half naked. Maybe it was better to slow this down a little. They hardly knew each other, he told himself, and then there was his family. Izzy. Jace. What would they think? Maybe he should go home before he lost himself in Magnus and would regret it later.

Part of him felt it would be the sensible thing to do. Go home and come back another time. Get to know Magnus better before doing what he wanted to do. But another part of him wanted to stay and do what he wanted to do. What he had wanted for such a long time now. Which was kissing Magnus senseless, his hands back on that soft and smooth skin. The feeling of the body of another boy underneath his own. He didn’t want to go home, but he should. Be sensible.

He stopped pacing when he reached Magnus’s front door.

“I should probably go home,” he said slowly.

“Probably,” Magnus replied, and to Alec’s surprise and relief he heard regret plain in Magnus’s voice.

“I don’t want to,” Alec said.

“I don’t want you to,” said Magnus. “But if you don’t . . .”

Alec nodded, quickly. “Good-bye, then,” he said, but before he could stop himself he bent down over Magnus and kissed him again. Instantly his body reacted, and he half fell on top of Magnus, opening his mouth and parting Magnus’s lips, invading his mouth. He wrapped his arms tightly around the warlock, and somehow they slid off the couch and on the floor, and Magnus was on top of him, kissing him savagely. Alec moved his hands rapidly over Magnus’s bare back, pushing his body against Magnus. Magnus rolled on his back, pulling Alec around with him so Alec was once more on top. He gasped and clutched at Magnus. His hands sliding down to the waistline of Magnus’s pants. He slid them an inch inside, feeling the soft skin of Magnus’s butt and he felt Magnus gasp against his mouth. He moved his hands over Magnus’s waistline and rested them on his belt buckle, intended to unbuckle it. All the while kissing Magnus so hard that he tasted blood in his mouth. Magnus’s or his own, he didn’t know. Magnus breathed hard against him and murmured,  “Oh,  _ God _ .”

Magnus’s voice registered in Alec’s ears.  _ Too fast _ , his own inner voice said and he suddenly let go of the buckle and of Magnus. He leaped back up on his feet and scrambled towards the door, holding the frame, as if to stop him from going back to Magnus. He was panting heavily, staring down on the warlock lying bare-chested on the floor of his apartment, looking up at him with shining eyes and anticipation. Waiting for him to say something.

Alec saw Magnus’s chest heaving, his face open, and he noticed a touch of vulnerability in Magnus’s expression, which surprised him more than anything else that had happened that night. He hadn’t thought the warlock could be vulnerable like this. As if he was scared Alec was going to walk out of him. He saw the tension in Magnus’s shoulders.

“Can I see you again?” he said in a rush, eager and uncertain.

“Yes,” Magnus replied, still lying on the floor. “I’d like that.”

“Um,” said Alec, wondering what would be a normal amount of time between dates. “So—next Friday night?” It didn’t seem soon enough for him, but he was afraid to set an earlier date.

“Well . . .”

Alec felt his heart clench at the uncertainty of that one word. Was Friday too soon? Did he do it wrong again? Oh what he wouldn’t give for some of Jace’s flair at this moment. And to feel only a little bit less insecure. He didn’t know why Magnus had said yes to him in the first place and he had no idea why the warlock said yes again today. He had told him he was beautiful, he even called him a sexy Shadowhunter today at the Beauty Bar. But that didn’t mean anything, Alec told himself. He still was just a seventeen year old Shadowhunter. Magnus was three hundred years old. And Shadowhunters and warlocks normally didn’t date, now did they? Who knew if Magnus was thinking the same thing this very moment and would go back on his words, telling him this whole thing was a mistake.

But Alec didn’t think it was a mistake at all. He found himself enjoying this evening and enjoying the company of this beautiful, tall boy with his shining cat eyes.

“Friday night would be fine,” Magnus said, and Alec felt his mood lighten up. He gave Magnus a wide smile, while backing out of the apartment, his eyes not leaving Magnus’s face. Magnus looked so beautiful. The streetlight coming through the window touching his bare chest, bouncing off him and it seemed as if he were glittering. His face  was lighting up as he smiled back, a gleam in his eyes.

Alec backed up to the top of the stairs and lost his footing, stumbling down a few stairs, he heard himself yelp. He regained his balance quickly and muttered at himself for not being careful. He was only just recovered from the injuries he’d received from the fight with the demon, the last thing he needed was a broken leg, caused by falling down Magnus’s stairs. How would he even explain that to his family? He quickly dashed down the stairs and walked out of the apartment building, whistling softly. Even a fall down the stairs couldn’t undo his good mood.


	9. Blink If You Want Me

**After fourth meet**  

 ** _Alec_**  

Alec boarded the F train back to the Upper East Side of Manhattan. He felt giddy, elated, thinking back on the extremely weird evening he just spent with Magnus Bane. At first he’d been so nervous, and he was so sure Magnus was going to ditch him. But instead they had been working together, his skills and Magnus’s magic, to calm down a rogue werewolf girl.

After that successful effort, Magnus had invited him back to his place for a nightcap. And Alec had kissed him. He felt invigorated and strong, initiating the kiss. It had gone way further than he expected, with them lying entwined on the floor of Magnus’s loft. Alec felt his cheeks burn, thinking about it. Magnus’s lips on his, Magnus’s hands under his t-shirt, roaming over his bare shoulder blades, his back, his arms, his chest. He, himself, marveling over the beautiful sleek smooth skin of Magnus’s chest and stomach. Kissing his throat, even reaching for his belt buckle.

He could here Magnus’s hot breath in his ear, _“Oh God.”_

It was what he needed to break apart. It was going too far, too fast. And yet, now, on his way back home, he felt like it hadn’t gone too far at all. And a part of him wanted to get out on the next stop and turn back. 

He knew that wasn’t a good idea, so instead he slid into a seat and sank back. The girl sitting across from him blinked heavily at him. That’s when he realized she could see him, he had forgotten to put on a glamour, since earlier this evening Magnus wouldn’t let him. The girl kept blinking at him and he raised his eyebrows, not sure what was going on.

“What is it?” he finally asked.

She looked deliberately down at his chest, “Blink if you want me,” she said.

“What?” he stammered, dumbfounded and then stared down at his own body. BLINK IF YOU WANT ME it read in sequins on his shirt. He still wore Magnus’s shirt and now that he remembered, he had left his own blue shirt at the loft. 

“So,” the girl said, looking at him expectantly. “I’m blinking.” 

“Uhm, I’m gay,” he confessed.  

Her eyebrows shot up. “Really? Or are you just saying that to get rid of me?” 

“Of course not,” Alec said, appalled.

But the girl shook her head, disbelieving.

“I’m not,” Alec said again. “This is my boyfriends shirt, really.”

He didn’t know why he called Magnus his boyfriend, but he wanted to reassure the girl he wasn’t lying. This was the first time he ever said aloud to someone that he was gay. Isabelle had guessed, Clary had guessed, Magnus had known, obviously. But he never admitted it so bluntly before. Of course, this girl was a stranger and it shouldn’t matter how she’d react, but he still felt an urgency to it. He needed her to believe him. 

She clearly didn’t, though. “I’m pretty sure you’re making it up,” she said, sulking.

He wondered if it was an act she was playing. He shrugged, a little embarrassed but also slightly irritated.

“Look, I’ll call him and prove it to you.” He took his phone out of his jeans pocket and called Magnus. 

“Alexander!” Magnus picked up after the first ring. “You miss me! I feel so flattered. You changed your mind? You’re coming back?” 

“Uhm, hi,” Alec stammered. “I’m still wearing your shirt.” 

He heard Magnus laugh at the other end of the line. “Great! Now you have an excuse to come bring it back someday soon!” 

“Yeah, but there’s a girl sitting here, I’m on the F train,” Alec added hastily. He didn’t want Magnus to think he was somewhere off with a girl. “And she doesn’t believe I’m gay. She’s blinking at me.”

Magnus laughed even harder now, and Alec couldn’t help but grin himself. Magnus’s laughter was really infatuating.   

“Give her the phone,” Magnus instructed, and Alec handed the girl the phone.

He could here Magnus on the other end of the line shouting in his High Warlock of Brooklyn voice. “That’s my boyfriend you’re harassing. Quit it!” 

The girl turned beet red and stammered something in the phone. Alec heard Magnus’s voice murmur something back in a much quieter tone. The girl nodded a few times, listening, and then handed the phone back to Alec. “He wants to talk to you,” she said. 

Alec took the phone and lifted it to his ear. “Hi, I’m back.” 

“Alexander, I told her to back off,” Magnus sounded amused. “But do please come back with that shirt, I really like it. Sunday would be good, you could come in the morning for coffee, if that suits you?” 

“Yeah,” Alec answered, his heart jumping at the thought of seeing Magnus again in two days. “I can come for coffee.” 

“Great,” Magnus replied cheerfully. “I’ll see you then. Sweet dreams, Alec.” 

 

 


	10. Stolen Coffee

**Fifth meet**  

 ** _Alec_**  

Alec pressed the buzzer of Magnus’s apartment. He had texted the warlock when he boarded the train, so he knew Alec was coming. The door clicked open and Alec bounced up the stairs, in a hurry to get there. Magnus was standing in the doorway, leaning against the post. He smiled at Alec, and Alec couldn’t help but think the warlock was beautiful. He was taller than Alec, which almost never happened. He had high cheekbones, a strong jaw line and his cat pupilled eyes where slightly lilted-a sign of an Asian heritage. His black hair was straight and styled in a messy boyish way. He looked about nineteen years old, even though Alec knew he must be at least three hundred years old. Talk about an age difference, he mused. 

He gave Magnus a big smile back, and Magnus’s smile turned into a grin. Alec thought back at that day when Magnus had healed him from a demonic wound. He remembered little of that night, but one thing he remembered was Magnus holding his hand and telling him that he was beautiful. It was a strange sensation, for someone to say such a thing to him. And he had liked it more than he thought he would.  

“I have coffee,” Magnus announced, as he turned around and walked back into the house.  

“Stolen coffee, I assume,” Alec muttered.

Magnus laughed while closing the door. “I can see it bothers you,” he mocked as he held out a hand. Alec stared at it, not quite understanding.  

“My shirt,”  Magnus said. “You said you’d bring it.”  

 _By the Angel_ , Alec thought. He had forgotten the shirt. The one official reason he was there. Magnus saw the expression in his face and laughed again. He sure was chirpy this morning.

“You forgot the shirt! Don’t worry, Alec, you don’t need fake reasons to come here. If you say it’s because you want to see me, that’s reason enough.” 

“I don’t-” Alec stammered. “I mean, I do want to see you. But I didn’t mean to forget it.” 

“Where is it?” Magnus asked. 

“It’s in my room, at the Institute,” Alec answered.

Magnus’s cat eyes narrowed. “Is it in your bed, did you sleep with it?” he teased.

Alec’s eyes widened with horror. “No!” he said, indignant. “It’s… uhm.”

He felt the heat flush his cheeks, realizing that the shirt was in his bed, actually. “It’s in my bed,” he whispered. 

Magnus’s eyes softened and he reached a hand out, putting it on Alec’s arm. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it back and it’ll smell all Aleccy. I’ll love that.” 

“Aleccy?” Alec asked, but he smiled at Magnus now. “But should I go back and get it?” 

“Of course not, you’re here now. I’m not letting you go. Here,” Magnus was holding two cups of coffee that weren’t there a second ago, and gave one of them to Alec. “You know I’ve been in your bedroom before, I can get it like this.”

Magnus snapped with his fingers and the next moment he was holding a gray t-shirt in his hand. It was Alec’s. He had slept in that shirt last night and left it under his pillow. 

“This is the wrong one,” Magnus said, and Alec laughed, while he went to sit down on the sofa, sipping his coffee.  

“What?” Magnus said. “Did you lie about it being on your bed?” 

“No, it’s there. It’s just, this one was there, too.” Alec smiled.

Magnus pressed the shirt against his face and inhaled. “Oh well,” he said. “This one smells Aleccy, too. I’ll keep this one.” He sat down next to Alec and put the shirt aside. 

“So, how was your day, yesterday? Did you do some demon hunting?” he inquired. 

“I did, actually,” Alec said. “Last night Jace wanted to track one down in Central Park. I was glad it was only the one this time. Sometimes it takes us all night. You know, they usually only come out at night.” 

“I know that,” Magnus said, looking intently at Alec.  

“Of course you do, sorry.” Alec took a big gulp from the coffee and looked down into the cup, feeling embarrassed. 

“No need to apologize, darling,” Magnus said cheerily. “So I take it this one didn’t take all night?” 

“No, we got rid of it pretty fast. Jace seemed disappointed.” Alec sighed. He knew why Jace was behaving so reckless and crazy these days. It was because of Clary being his sister, and therefore being off limit. Jace had fallen head over heels for her and now there was no going back, he was stuck in love. Alec thought he knew how that felt, and it was frustrating to see it happening to the person you loved. 

“He did?” Magnus snorted, obviously not interested in Jace’s feelings. 

“Yeah, but I was happy to go home and have an early night,” Alec hasted to say. “'Cause now I’m here.” 

“You are!” Magnus beamed at him.

Alec finished his coffee and turned a little so he could face Magnus. He felt that strange sensation again in his stomach. He had felt it the first time they kissed, and he definitely felt it the second time. A curious spark, a flutter of apprehension. Magnus leaned forward and put his hand on Alec’s cheek.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said. “I was having a dull day so far. You brightened it up remarkably.” 

Alec smiled while leaning into Magnus’s hand. He brushed with his thumb over Alec’s cheekbone. With his other hand he set away his empty coffee cup and pulled Alec towards him. Their mouths met and Alec gasped a little at the warmth and the softness of Magnus’s lips against his. He parted his lips slightly and let Magnus’s tongue slid in. Magnus was stroking the inside of Alec’s mouth and Alec leaned in closer, pressing his body against him.

Under the weight of it, Magnus leaned back on the sofa and pulled Alec on top of him. Their mouths were moving together with an urgency, the kiss deepened into something more as Alec twirled his tongue around Magnus’s and then slid it in his mouth. He raked with his tongue over Magnus’s teeth and heard him gasp. Magnus had his arms around him and slid them under his shirt, touching his back. The spark in Alec’s stomach flared up and almost involuntarily he bucked his hips against Magnus and felt, through the material of both their pants, his own erection and Magnus’s. In reply to his movement, Magnus moaned softly in his mouth.

It set Alec on fire, and he moved his hips again. He broke away from Magnus’s mouth and pressed his lips against Magnus’s neck, traveling down to his collarbone. Magnus was wearing a thin dress shirt with an open collar, leaving his throat exposed for Alec to kiss intensely. With his arms, Magnus rode up Alec’s shirt, his hands clinging onto his back, nails pressing into his skin. Alec arched his back and rolled his hips into Magnus, the heat flaring up again at the touch, and then his mouth was back on Magnus’s mouth and they kissed, so hard, it almost hurt.  

Finally, Alec broke away and panted heavily, looking down on Magnus, who’s eyes were shining.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said. “I feel like I’m crushing you.”

He sat up and raked a hand through his hair. Magnus’s chest was heaving with the exertion, but he sat up too and shook his head. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me getting crushed. You know I am a warlock.” 

“I know,” Alec said, and smiled at him. “Friday night, I was thinking it was going too fast, maybe. That’s why I left. But it seems impossible to slow this down.” 

Magnus grinned and touched Alec’s cheek. “I’m three hundred years old,” he said slowly. “I have all the time in the world. So you can decide the pace. I’m okay with whatever you want.” 

“Really? With whatever?” Alec heard his voice shot up an octave. 

“Sure,” Magnus shrugged, careless. “You want some more coffee?” 

“No, thanks,” Alec shook his head.  

“I’ll pay for it,” Magnus amended, which made Alec grin.

“Okay, then,” he gave in. Instantly Magnus handed him another cup. They drank together in a relaxed silence. 

“So, you’ll be off to hunt some more demons, today?” Magnus asked. 

“Probably, I’m not sure,” Alec said. “Being a Shadowhunter means my agenda is never really set. If demonic activity is called in, I’d have to go. But that won’t happen during the day. Also, since I’m not an adult yet, they’ll probably call on others first. Jace might want to go hunting tonight. We’ll see.” 

“Not an adult yet,” Magnus mused. “And how long will that take?” 

“Two weeks, actually,” Alec answered. “Tuesday the twelfth.” 

“Maybe we should stop kissing until then,” Magnus said slowly. “You know, I don’t want to do anything illegal.” 

Alec looked at him, horrified. “I don’t want that. Why would it be illegal? Oh wait, because I’m underage.” He shrugged. “I don’t care about that.” 

Magnus smiled at him. “Good,” he said and leaned in for another kiss.  

This one was slower, less urgent, but warm and promising. Magnus’s hands trailed through Alec’s hair, and Alec cupped Magnus’s neck, pulling him close. He had wondered for so long how it would feel, to kiss another boy, had fantasized about it countless times. But now he knew reality trumps fantasy, every time. 

The kiss was interrupted by his phone, buzzing. He broke away from Magnus and checked the screen. It was Izzy. 

_Where r u?_

Alec sighed and texted back.

_Y u want to know?_

Magnus looked at him, mildly amused and picked up his cat, who had jumped on the couch. Alec’s phone buzzed again.

 _We’re supposed to train, u know that. Come home?_  

A frown appeared on his face. “Izzy needs me to come home,” he said to Magnus, and he heard the disappointment in his own voice. 

“That’s okay,” Magnus said, though Alec could hear a tinge of regret there, too. “You know what, Alexander. Come by whenever you want, no need to wait until Friday. I’ll leave the door open.” 

“Are you sure? Is that safe?” Alec asked. Magnus laughed with mirth. “You do remember what happened to that mugger Friday, don’t you?” 

Friday a mugger had tried to steal Magnus’s wallet. Alec had attacked the boy and when he tried to give back the wallet, the wallet had actually bit him.

“It’s quite a challenge to steal from a warlock,” Magnus said, and he winked at him. 

Alec nodded and looked down at the phone in his hand. “I’m sorry that I have to go,” he said. 

“Me, too,” Magnus replied. “But you have a job to do, don’t worry about it. We’ll see each other again, soon.” 

“I’d like that,” Alec said, standing up and straightening his shirt. Magnus walked with him to the door and leaned in to kiss him once more before he opened the door, and Alec left the apartment. 

“Remember,” Magnus called after him. “The door is always open!” 

 


	11. The Red Coffee Machine

**Sixth meet**  

 ** _Alec_**  

Alec’s phone buzzed. He flipped it out of his pocket to check it. A text message, from Magnus. Alec took a sideways glance to Jace, who was sitting next to him in the booth at Taki’s, eating a large plate of fries. Lost in his thoughts. Alec flipped open the phone and read the message. 

  _Alexander, I_ _bought a coffee machin_ _e. Come check it out when you have time. Magnus._  

 Alec smiled at the message and typed back.

 _Tomorrow morning? Have some demon hunting to do tonight._  

 _Sure thing. Looking forward to it._  

* * *

 

Tuesday, early in the morning, Alec found himself on the stairs leading to Magnus’s apartment. The downstairs door was open, as Magnus had told him, and the door to his apartment was open, too. Alec stepped over the threshold and into the empty living room. The door to Magnus’s bedroom was closed, and Alec wondered if the warlock was still sleeping. For some reason, the thought made him blush. He shrugged it off and walked towards the kitchen. Magnus had said he could come whenever he wanted, so here he was. 

In the kitchen he instantly noticed the red coffee machine standing on the counter. On the floor was a box filled with coffee beans, milk, a cappuccino maker and a box of sugar cubes. Magnus had really gone all the way, he thought. Then again, he didn’t think Magnus was able to do things half. He was very thorough, Alec mused. He liked that about him. 

He took the supplies and put the coffee beans into the machine, added water, put a cup under it and pushed the button. The machine made a gurgling noise, grounding the beans, and then the black liquid streamed into the cup, giving off a nice aromatic smell. It was great quality coffee. 

“That looks good,” he heard a familiar voice and he looked up to see Magnus standing in the door opening.

He was wearing dark blue silk pajama pants with a green dressing gown hanging open, exposing his bare chest.

“And the coffee smells good, too,” Magnus added, while he smiled widely and stepped into the kitchen, towards Alec.

Alec smiled back as Magnus put his arms around him and pressed his lips on Alec's. “This is a nice domestic scene to wake up to,” he murmured against Alec’s lips.

Alec handed him the coffee and made another for himself. “I like this machine,” he commented. “It’s good.” 

“Of course it’s good,” Magnus snorted. “Like I’d buy crap for you.” 

Alec smiled again. Magnus didn’t need the machine, he could take coffee from any Starbucks or other coffee bar. And yet, he bought it, for him. Alec felt touched at the gesture. 

“Let’s drink coffee,” Magnus announced and walked out of the kitchen to the couch. 

Alec followed him there and while enjoying the coffee, he told Magnus how he had chased a demon through the New York sewers last night. “It was kind of gross,” he said, wrinkling his nose.

Magnus grinned at him. “I can imagine,”  he said, putting down his empty cup. “You want to go out for breakfast? Or I could order it in, if you want to stay here?” 

“I’d like to go,” Alec said. “Have some fresh air and pancakes.” 

“Chocolate chip,” Magnus said as he got up from the couch. “I’m going to change into something more suitable for an outside adventure and then we’ll go.” 

When Magnus returned to the living room he handed Alec a small silver key.

“This is for the upstairs door,” he announced. “I’ll leave the downstairs open for you to come in anytime, but I need the upstairs closed. Chairman Meow is constantly walking out on me.” He laughed. 

Alec smiled shyly and put the key away in the pocket of his jeans. The fact that Magnus gave it to him made him happier than he thought. With a light heart he stepped out of the loft, letting Magnus go first. He closed the door and locked it with his new key. He heard Magnus chuckle behind him and shrugged.

“It’s only good sense to lock your door,” he offered as an explanation. 

“Sure thing,” Magnus said. “I like it that you’re using my key.”

He gave Alec a dazzling smile, and Alec felt the urgent need to touch him. Magnus was already on the first step of the stairs going down, when Alec put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. Standing one step higher than Magnus, Alec towered over him. He moved his hand from Magnus’s shoulder to his chin, lifted his face up to him and pressed his lips on Magnus’s.

Magnus slid his hands around Alec’s waist as he leaned in and kissed him back, parting Alec’s lips with his and winding his tongue around Alec’s. They stood there kissing for some time, Alec’s hands cupping Magnus’s face while Magnus pressed his fingers in the small of Alec’s back.

Finally they broke apart, both of them having to catch their breath slightly. Alec pressed Magnus’s forehead against his lips. “Breakfast?” he murmured against Magnus’s skin.

“I’d love some,” Magnus replied, and turned to descend the stairs.  

An hour later, they were sitting in a diner over their empty plates, talking over breakfast. Magnus told him how he had hosted a breakfast party where there was a maple syrup fountain which had toppled over, its content spilling over a werewolf who was sitting next to it. Magnus’s eyes were lit up with the animation of the story.

“You should have seen him, the syrup dripping in his eyes,” he lifted his head back and laughed aloud.

Alec joined him in laughter and realized he felt lighter than he had felt in days. It was so easy with Magnus. It was so easy to talk, so easy to laugh. There was neither need, nor room for pretense. This was how it felt like to truly be himself. And he loved it. 

 

 


	12. City of Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters will cover what happens during City of Ashes. Some of the scenes are straight from the book with copied dialogue but written from either Alec's or Magnus's pov instead of Clary's. I'm continuing with filling the gaps here.

 

 ** _Alec_**  

I want to speak up and tell the world 

About you 

Condemnation lies heavy on my heart 

And pain as a reminder 

How do I know what I love 

What I want 

If I can’t be me? 

Can I come back to you every time? 

* * *

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

To be denied by you 

Are you going to 

Break my heart 

Or will you be careful 

For what I give is precious 

And you are worth so much more 

Than unrequited love 

If only you knew 

Don’t deny me 

Alexander 

 

 


	13. Of Noodles and Pool and Overthinking It

**Seventh meet**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

Magnus was contemplating leather pants or black tight fitting jeans for his second date with Alec, when his phone rang. The caller ID told him it was Bat, a werewolf from Luke Garroway’s pack. 

“You better have something really important to bother me with,” Magnus snapped into the phone by way of answering it. “Cause you disturb me while I’m being busy with essential matters. Leather or jeans, that’s always the question.” 

“Magnus,” Bat sounded exasperated but also a bit distressed. “We need you at the Hunter’s Moon. There’s been some sort of attack. We have a dead cub. And some injured as well. A Shadowhunter rampaged the bar.” 

“A Shadowhunter killed a cub?” Magnus asked, incredulous. “I know they can be arrogant and obnoxious, but they won’t break the Law so flippantly. That can’t be right.” 

“The cub who’s dead wasn’t killed by the Shadowhunter.” Bat hasted to say. “We don’t know what it is. I was hoping you can check it out and while you’re at it, take a look at the few unconscious wolves. That Shadowhunter,” Bat blew out an exasperated sigh. “Just a kid, he is from the Institute, I think. Seriously crazy.” 

“Hmmm. Let me guess. Is he blonde and shockingly beautiful?” Magnus asked. 

“He’s blonde alright, I don’t know about the beautiful part,” Bat snapped. “Does it matter? Can you come?” 

Magnus told him he was on his way and hung up the phone. He texted Alec next. 

 _Alexander,_ _your_ _crazy parabatai has beaten up a few wolves in the Hunter’s Moon. I’m on my way there, they need some assistance. Want to meet up at the restaurant?_  

He would have suggested for Alec to come to the Hunter’s Moon, but he was pretty sure Alec would want to avoid being seen with Magnus there. Especially if Jace was there. Magnus sighed and wondered why he was dating someone who was having a crush on someone else. He was being stupid, putting himself on the line like that. But thinking about Alec made him cave in. He wanted to see him again. He was looking forward to this second date. He had chosen a mundane restaurant this time. Less risk.

The restaurant he took Alec to for their first date had been run by downworlders who had all backed away from the Shadowhunter when they had entered. It had made Alec self-conscious and that was the last thing Magnus wanted. He wanted Alec to be happy and at ease with himself. Which was why he proposed meeting at the restaurant. Alec’s answer came fast. 

 _What? By the Angel, what did he do? Doesn’t matter. I’ll talk to him later. I’ll meet you at the restaurant. It’s on fifth, right? Will you be able to get there at seven? If you need more time, that’s okay. Let me know?_  

Magnus smiled at the text. It was so typically Alec to consider he might need more time. To think that Alec would come second to whatever Magnus had to do. But Magnus didn’t intend to let Alec wait while he had been so looking forward to this night. On the other hand, he didn’t know what he could expect at the Hunter’s Moon. 

 _I really want to be there at seven. But if I need more time you’ll be the first to know. You’re a darling._  

He didn’t know why he added that last sentence. Yet he felt Alec could use some endearments, and he hadn’t complained about them, so far. He had just smiled at him with that sweet, shy smile by way of reply. Magnus shook his head, hurried into the black jeans and out of the door, on his way to the Hunter’s Moon. 

* * *

 

 ** _Alec_**  

Alec stood on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. It was a few minutes before seven. Magnus hadn’t texted him, so he guessed the warlock would be here soon. He did receive a text from Isabelle, saying Jace was back at the Institute, looking worse for wear.

“That’s what you get when you pick a fight with a bunch of werewolves,” Alec muttered, while texting Izzy back, telling her Jace was a pain. He didn’t quite mean it. Truthfully, he was worried about his parabatai. Leave it to Jace to think of some stupid suicidal mission to attract attention.

Alec’s mother had told him this afternoon that Jace had lied to him about Hodge, and that she had sent Jace away from the Institute. He was angry at her for turning him out like that, even though she’d said she did it to protect Jace from the Inquisitor. Still, it didn’t sit well with Alec. And there was the matter of Jace lying to him, he didn’t like it one bit, it was nothing like Jace to lie. It was all quite confusing. 

And he didn’t want to think about it. He had a date with Magnus and he noticed more and more that thinking about Jace and thinking about Magnus really didn’t fit well in his head. It made him choke up and left him with a knotted feeling in his chest. And with confusing questions which he didn’t have answers for. What did he want? Who did he want? Why was it so hard to be who he really was? He shook his head to clear it, pressed the sent button on his phone and looked up into the street. 

 _There_. A few blocks away but clearly visible was Magnus. The warlock was about 6,2 feet tall and wore a black, flowing coat. He was hard to miss. Alec felt his face light up at the sight of the warlock approaching him with long strides. He’d last seen him Tuesday when they’d gone out for breakfast. It seemed already like a long time ago. Alec had wanted to come over more, and had to fight back the strong compulsion to go to Magnus again in the following days. They had this date planned tonight. He couldn’t very well go there every day, now could he? So he had decided to be patient and wait for Friday. And now Friday had finally arrived and Magnus was here. 

“Alexander,” Magnus smiled happily at him. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long.” 

“Not at all,” Alec said, and to his own surprise he leaned into Magnus and kissed him lightly on the lips. Just a quick peck, but a kiss nonetheless. Outside on the street, for every bystander to see. 

Magnus’s eyes were shining when Alec broke away. “You never cease to amaze me, Alec.” 

They entered the restaurant where the host showed them to their seats and handed them the menus. Once she was gone Alec asked about what had happened at the Hunter’s Moon. Magnus shook his head. 

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it,” he said. “A cub was killed, he was only sixteen. His throat slid, body drained of blood. It was disgusting and quite frankly, it worries me.” 

Alec saw a flash of concern in Magnus’s green-golden cat eyes, but then it was gone and Magnus smiled at him over the menu.

“But I do have a strict policy not to talk about work during dates,” his voice sounded lighter now. “And I’ve been looking forward to seeing you today.” 

“Me too,” Alec replied.

The waiter arrived, not a werewolf this time, thankfully. This one was a mundane, and saw in Alec just a boy with a neck tattoo. 

The food came-Thai noodles with a creamy coconut sauce and the most tender chicken meat. It was delicious. It reminded Alec of his little brother, Max, who thought Thai food was a gift from the Angel and would munch this down in no time. He told Magnus about it, smiling affectionately at the thought of Max, face covered in orange sauce. 

“Oh, that’s right, you have a younger brother,” Magnus said. “I don’t think I ever saw him.” 

“Why would you’ve seen him?” Alec asked. 

“Oh well, once or twice the Institute has called on me for help over the past few decades. I had some dealings with Maryse and Hodge,” Magnus said casually. 

“You’ve met my mother?” Alec asked. 

“Sure thing,” Magnus replied, while spinning some noodles on his fork. “But that was pure business. And like I said, I don’t do business talks during dates.”

He smiled at Alec. “Tell me more about your brother?” 

Alec launched into a story of how Max had taken hold of his stele one day and had actually managed to scrawl with it on the hardwood floor of the Institute’s living room. It had almost caught fire, as steles can do that. Magnus laughed heartily, and Alec felt pleased that a boring story about his little brother could have that effect on Magnus.  

“So,” said Magnus, after they finished dessert. “Do you want to go shoot some pool?” 

Alec was baffled for a moment, and Magnus quirked his eyebrows. “Don’t tell me you don’t know what it is?” 

“No, I know, I just-” Alec stammered. 

“You didn’t expect me, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, to play such a mundane game?” Magnus asked and he chuckled. 

“I guess not,” Alec replied truthfully. “But I’d like to.”

A gleam of excitement sparkled in his eyes, he felt mischievous, which was quite new for him. “I do have to warn you that I am really good at pool and I will kick your butt.” 

“Hmmm,” Magnus hummed and then he laughed out loud. “I don’t mind you kicking my butt, darling.” 

*** 

After three games of pool and a few pints of beer, it turned out that with age came experience and that was reflected in the outcome of the game. Magnus had won the first two and Alec the last game.  

“I do feel you let me win, the last time,” Alec said while they turned to leave the bar. 

“I never let anyone win, Alexander. That’s not my style,” Magnus replied. “Now, since it went so fantastically well the last time, would you like to come to my place for a nightcap?”  

Last time, Alec remembered with a blush, they hadn’t even gotten to that nightcap. Instead there had been a wild make out session, which Alec didn’t mind to repeat. He nodded, feeling shy about it. But Magnus was so easy going and was busy talking all the way back to his house, he made Alec loosen up and relax. 

Once inside Magnus’s loft Alec did feel a small spark of apprehension. He sat down on the sofa, thinking that he had no idea how to proceed from here. The last time they kissed he had initiated it, but that didn’t mean he could just start that again now. He was still so new to it. He didn’t know how it worked, dating, not really.

Isabelle would say that he shouldn’t have sex before the fifth date, but he had no idea what to do with that information. He didn’t even know how it would go. Sex with Magnus. He had thought about it, fantasized about it. He knew that on some level he really wanted it. To take it a step further. Taking off the silver mesh shirt Magnus was wearing. And then sliding his hands into the waistband of those black jeans that did wonders for Magnus’s butt.  

He felt the blood rise to his cheeks and stared down at his hands. Magnus, who had told him he was getting them a drink, returned into the living room and handed him a glass.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, seeing him tremble as Alec took the glass and sipped. 

“Nothing,” he said, taking another sip of the strong alcoholic drink. He scrunched up his nose. “What is this stuff?” 

“It’s a martini,” Magnus said. “Not your thing?” 

Alec finished the drink and put the glass on the table. “It’s fine, just a bit strong,” he said. 

He sat back, feeling uncomfortable when Magnus sank down next to him and put a hand on his knee. Alec turned his head to Magnus and was startled at the intensity of how Magnus looked at him. Magnus leaned in then and Alec met him halfway. The kiss was electric, sending shivers down his spine and he put one arm around Magnus, the other on his upper arm and pulled Magnus to him. Magnus half fell against him, wrapped one of his legs around Alec and straddled him.

Their lips parted, their tongues searching. Magnus’s hands were in Alec’s hair, fingers pressing in his scalp. He moved his entire weight into Alec’s lap and Alec moved his arms around him, sliding his hands under the mesh shirt. His fingers reaching for the waistband of Magnus’s jeans and he touched the soft skin underneath. The pants were too tight to really reach in, so Alec traveled his hands up over Magnus’s back. Magnus pulled him up, so their bodies were pressed against each other as Magnus’s hands slid down from Alec’s hair to his back. His mouth broke away from Alec’s and he kissed his neck, his teeth raking over the sensitive skin, biting down on it. Alec whimpered and bucked his hips, almost involuntarily.  

Magnus’s mouth was back on his and they kissed each other passionately, while stroking and caressing each other. Alec started to kiss Magnus’s throat and sucked the sensitive skin there, his teeth grazing. His mind was reeling. He wanted to touch Magnus, kiss him senselessly, but he didn’t know what to do and how to do it, so he finally subsided, laying his head on Magnus’s shoulder. Magnus’s hands grew still.

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I just-” Alec started. Magnus sat back and looked at him.  

“It’s okay,” he said, as he moved away from Alec and went to sit next to him.  

“I don’t know how to move on from here,” Alec confessed, wanting to be honest. “I mean, I want to, but I’m overthinking it.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Magnus said, placing a hand on Alec’s knee. “We’ll move on gradually. Take it as it goes.”  

Just then, Alec’s phone rang loud through the room. “Sorry,” he muttered and picked it out of his pocket. It was his mom. He answered the phone hastily. “Mom? What is it?” 

“Where are you, Alec? You know the Inquisitor is on her way. Can you come home, please. I would appreciate it.” Maryse sounded upset. Alec knew she was under a lot of pressure. When Jace turned out to be Valentine’s son, the Clave looked upon her with suspicion. As if she had known all the time. And now the Inquisitor would come to look over her shoulder with every move she made.  

“I’m coming home, now,” he said to her. “Be there in half an hour.” 

He shut his phone and looked at Magnus apologetically. “I’m sorry,” he began. 

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Magnus said. “Duty calls. I’m thinking for our next date I should portal us to Marrakesh or something. So we won’t be disturbed.” His eyes were shining as he said it and Alec felt relieved. 

“You want to have a next date?” he asked. 

“Of course, Alexander,” Magnus replied as he stood up and walked Alec to the door. “Call me?” 

Alec pressed his lips against Magnus, kissing him once but hard, and walked out of the door. “I will,” he called as he descended the stairs two at a time. 

 


	14. Interfering in Shadowhunter Business

**Eight** **h** **meet**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

Magnus was lying on his sofa, sipping a martini and thinking about Alec. Thinking about the feel of him in his arms and on his lips just a couple of hours ago. It had taken him every ounce of self control to stop when Alec stopped. But it was the right thing to do. Alec was so young and inexperienced, Magnus really didn’t want to pressure him. And he knew that people could do things in the heat of the moment which they might regret later. He was already afraid they had gone too far. Confused that it bothered him so much, he sat up and reached for his phone. It was weird, how he wanted Alec to reassure him that all was good. And that Alec had liked it just as much as he had. His fingers ran over his phone typing a message. 

 _Alexander. Did you get home okay? I had a great time. I hope you did too._  

He shook his head and erased it. Way too clingy. Try again. 

 _Alexander. Next time I’ll_ _beat_ _you three out of three with pool, unless of course you’re afraid to lose from a warlock._  

Was this one too breezy? Magnus sighed in frustration but hit the send button anyway. He waited then and told himself he was being crazy. Since when did the High Warlock of Brooklyn sit on his sofa to stare at his phone, waiting for some Shadowhunter to text him back. “You’re besotted,” he mumbled to himself. 

His phone buzzed and he quickly opened it to read the text. 

 _Ha, I’d like to see you try. Thanks for tonight, Magnus, I had a great time._  

Magnus couldn’t help but feel immensely relieved. He stood up, refilled his glass and looked out of the window. Chairman Meow came towards him and nuzzled his head against Magnus’s leg. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he told the Chairman. “Alec and I are going to be great together.” And he really believed it, too. 

*** 

It was an hour later when his phone buzzed again. This time Alec’s message had a different tone to it. 

 _Magnus, I had a distress call from the City of Bones. Jace has been taken there and held prison by the Inquisitor._ _Izzy_ _and I are on our way to see what’s going on. Can you come? On standby, that is. I would never ask you to enter the City of Bones. But we don’t know what’s wrong and we might need you. If it isn’t too inconvenient for you? I’d really appreciate it. Alec._  

Magnus read the message twice and frowned. Why would the City of Bones call on the Shadowhunters of the Institute? The Silent Brothers could fend for themselves, usually. He texted Alec that he was on his way and Alec could find him at the bar next to the cemetery or text him when he was really needed. Alec was right that he wouldn’t want to go into the City of Bones. If it would be really necessary, he would come. But Alec only asked him to standby, so that was what he was going to do. 

Magnus changed into black leather pants, and wore it with a belt with a buckle in the shape of a jeweled M. It had been a gift from Ragnor. He chose a cobalt-blue Prussian military jacket that would match with Alec’s eyes and left it hanging open over a white lace shirt. He was considering there might be other Shadowhunters at the City of Bones, so he really wanted to make an entrance. He put an elaborate amount of glitter on his face, and regarded his reflection in the mirror mutinously before he finally left his loft. He had a reputation to maintain, after all.  

An hour later Magnus was sitting at the bar, drinking a glass of wine. He was still wondering what could possibly be going on, when he received a text from Alec. 

 _Can you come to the cemetery? There’s something wrong with Jace. The Inquisitor is here, and my mom, and a bunch of other Shadowhunters. So I understand if you don’t want to come._  

Magnus shook his head, reading the text. He could read between the lines of that message. _Other S_ _hadowhunters are there, so come and help but don’t acknowledge me, please._ That was what Alec really said. Magnus didn’t like the implications but he had promised him he would come and help, and Magnus was good on his promises. He paid for the drink and hurried towards the cemetery. There he stood still behind the gate and regarded the scene in the cemetery from a distance. A large group of Shadowhunters stood in a circle talking. He texted Alec back to let him know he was there. 

 _I’m here. I see you all are discussing something important. Call_ _out_ _when you need me._  

While he was watching the group he saw someone sink to the ground. The witchlight that some of the Shadowhunters were holding, reflected the gleam of blonde hair. Jace. Then he saw Alec too, as he sunk to his knees next to his parabatai. Clary sat down as well, her red hair noticeable like fire. Something was wrong with Jace, Alec had texted. Magnus thought that was an understatement. Jace had trashed the Hunter’s Moon earlier today and then was whisked off to jail, purely for being some lunatics son. If that was the going away rate for prison these days, then leave one cell open for me, Magnus thought bitter, knowing his own father was much more dangerous and hateful than Jace’s. 

It was then that he heard Alec raising his voice. “Magnus! Magnus, come on out.” 

Magnus strode through the gate and walked to the group gathered at the entrance of the City of Bones. He looked at Alec, amused, feeling a rush of affection for the boy. Then his eyes were drawn to Jace, who was lying very still in the grass. “Is he dead?” he inquired. “He looks dead.” 

“No,” snapped Maryse. “He’s not dead.” 

“Have you checked? I could kick him if you want.” Magnus moved toward Jace. He felt a little mischievous, and a group of arrogant adult Shadowhunters around him only made that worse. It might also be the martini’s and the wine he had earlier today. 

“Stop that!” a gray haired woman with an unsympathetic face snapped at him. “He’s not dead, but he’s injured. Your medical skills are required. Jonathan needs to be well enough for the interrogation.” 

This must be the charming Inquisitor Alec had mentioned. Magnus didn’t care much for her attitude. Shadowhunters always acted as if their problems were the most pressing and important in the world and everything else would have to bend and sway, and be moved aside for them. 

“Fine,” he told her crossly. “But it’ll cost you.”

For Alec he’d do anything for free, but he didn’t feel that kind of service extended to obnoxious people like the Inquisitor. 

“I’ll pay it,” said Maryse. 

“Very well. But he can’t remain at the Institute. Just because the Sword is gone doesn’t mean the interrogation won’t proceed as planned. And in the meantime, the boy must be held under observation. He’s clearly a flight risk,” said the Inquisitor with a sour voice. 

“A flight risk?” Isabelle spoke up. Magnus hadn’t even noticed her until now. “You act as if he tried to escape from the Silent City—” 

“Well,” the Inquisitor said. “He’s no longer in his cell now, is he?” 

“That’s not fair! You couldn’t have expected him to stay down there surrounded by dead people!” 

“Not fair? Not fair?” The Inquisitor started blathering to Isabelle about Jace and Magnus lost interest. 

He cast a furtive look at Alec. He was looking rather distressed. Magnus made the decision to cut into the discussion and offer his help. A small part of him said he was going to regret it. Don’t get mixed into Shadowhunter business. But he knew it was too late for that warning. He was in it, whether he wanted to or not.

“Look, it’s not a problem,” he said. “I can keep Jace at my place easily enough.” 

The Inquisitor turned to Alec. “Your warlock does realize,” she said. “That Jonathan is a witness of utmost importance to the Clave?” 

“He’s not my warlock.” Alec sounded upset and Magnus saw his cheeks burn. It rubbed him the wrong way. Who did this ridiculous woman think she was, that she could embarrass Alec like that in front of everyone.  

“I’ve held prisoners for the Clave before,” Magnus said sharply. “I think you’ll find I have an excellent record in that department. My contract is one of the best.” 

He looked at Maryse while he said it. He wasn’t sure why. A part of him wanted to reassure her that her adoptive son would be save in his house. But a bigger part wanted to convince her that he was trustworthy and suitable for her eldest son. And that one day, Alec would say that he _was_ his warlock and Maryse would be okay with that. It was ridiculous, really, that he wanted that. The chance that Alec would ever be willing to tell his parents he was dating a warlock was slim.  

Maryse didn’t reply. Instead the Inquisitor started blathering again. Magnus wasn’t paying attention to her.

“Of course,” he said and he walked over to Alec and looked at Jace, still on the ground. Clary next to him looked up at him.

“Can he talk?” Magnus asked her. 

At that point Jace opened his eyes, pupils dilated, the amber almost gone. “What are you doing here?” 

Magnus grinned down at him. “Hey, roommate,” he said. He really hoped he wasn’t going to regret this. Then again, he had had worse roommates in the past.  

Jace smiled back faintly and closed his eyes. Magnus knelt down beside the patient and examined him quickly. Alec squatted down next to Clary, his eyes fixed on Magnus. “What is it?” 

“Something demonic,” Magnus answered, he looked up and met Alec’s eyes. “What happened?” 

Alec gave him a concise rapport of countless dead Silent Brothers and finding Jace like this in his cell. Magnus nodded and cast a few spells, his hands giving off blue sparks, sending them into Jace’s body. Jace stirred but after a few minutes his eyes opened and he sat up. 

While Alec and Clary helped Jace to his feet, Magnus drafted up a contract for Maryse to sign. He couldn’t help but add a little loophole. An opportunity for him to grand Jace a couple of hours of freedom as long as another Shadowhunter would stay with him in Jace’s stead. Magnus really hoped there would come a time where he could use that loophole. He didn’t regret offering his help, but he did doubt if Jace was going to be such a fun roommate. He could think of a better one, a blue-eyed one. 

At the end it wasn’t Maryse but the Inquisitor who signed the contract. She gave it back to him and he turned to go, indicating Alec and Clary to follow him. They walked with Jace in their midst. Magnus hailed a cap, and they put Jace in it. Alec bend forward, leaning into the cap and asking Jace if he needed to come with him. The other boy shook his head.

“But can you maybe bring me some clothes, tomorrow? Or, more specifically, later today?” 

Magnus turned to Clary, who was standing white faced next to him. “Come by tomorrow,” he told her. “Right now you look like you could use some sleep, biscuit.”  

Then he gently took Alec by the arm and pushed him aside. “Off you go, Shadowhunter,” he said to him, trying to sound aloof and reassuring at the same time. “I will take care of him, you can bring his stuff after you sleep.” 

Alec nodded and stepped away from the car. Isabelle showed up behind him and took his arm. “Thanks,” Alec said and then they walked away, following the group of Shadowhunters, back to the Institute. 

 


	15. Wrestling Love

**Ninth meet** \- **The Seelie Court**

 _Alec swallowed. “We’re going,” he said. He spoke the words like an apology. “Jace—a request from the_ _Seelie_ _Court—it would be stupid to ignore it. Besides, Isabelle’s probably already told them we’re coming.”_  

 _“There is no chance I’m going to let you do this, Alec,” Jace said in a dangerous voice. “I’ll wrestle you to the ground if I have to.”_  

 _“While that does sound tempting,” said Magnus, flipping his long silk sleeves back, “there is another way.”_  

 _“What other way? This is a directive from the Clave. I can’t just weasel out of it.”_  

 _“But I can.” Magnus grinned. “Never doubt my weaseling abilities, Shadowhunter, for they are epic and memorable in their scope. I specifically enchanted the contract with the Inquisitor so that I could let you go for a short time if I desired, as long as another of the_ _Nephilim_ _was willing to take your place.”_  

_“Where are we going to find another—Oh,” Alec said meekly. “You mean me.”_

\- City of Ashes, p. 148 

* * *

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

“Finally,” Magnus said relieved as the door closed behind Jace, Clary and Simon. 

Alec sat at the round table, tapping his fingers on it. “That eager to get rid of them?” he asked. 

“Of course not, but I wanted to be alone with you,” Magnus replied. 

“Oh,” Alec blushed and looked down at the table. Magnus smiled inwardly, still so shy, his Shadowhunter. He still couldn’t believe Magnus would be glad to be alone with him. 

“Can you get up, please,” he asked. Alec stood up, eyebrows raised in question. “I have to return these,” Magnus explained, indicating the table and the chairs. “It was only a loan. And I want my own furniture back.” 

“Where is your furniture?” Alec asked. 

“I have it stored. Sometimes if I need the space for something else, like round tables, I put my stuff in a storage room. I’m going to get it back now. I miss my sofa.” 

Alec smiled and walked to the kitchen. “You want coffee?” he asked. 

“Love some,” Magnus replied while he flicked with his hand, bringing back the chairs and table to the antiques reproduction store he took it from. Then another flick of the hand and his own familiar furniture was back in the room. The warm chocolate brown rug, the comfortable golden, velvet sofa and his desk. Some other knickknacks he valued. Satisfied he looked around, it felt like home again. Jace was finally out of his hair and Alec was here. This afternoon was going to be grand.  

He followed Alec to the kitchen, looking at him while he was making coffee. He felt a mild frustration at how Alec had treated Jace earlier. His hand on Jace’s shoulder. Magnus had to clear his throat in order for Alec to let go. Why would he nurse this crush, Magnus thought, annoyed. Jace would never love him back. And besides, the whole world knew he was straight and hung up on his sister. Well, maybe not the _whole_ world knew that last part. 

Alec handed him a mug of coffee. “Sorry,” he said softly.

The way he said it almost broke Magnus’s heart. He had to constantly remind himself that Alec was still so new at this. So young. So closeted too. He had been brave enough to ask Magnus out, twice. To kiss him in the middle of the street, even. Alec was getting there. He had to believe that one day he would snap out of his closet and with it he would fell out of that crush, too. Magnus had to be patient. He could do that. He didn’t like being denied, but he kept hope. He had to, because otherwise this Shadowhunter would be his undoing.   

Alec was looking at him in anticipation. Magnus took the mug and smiled. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he said as he took a big gulp of coffee.

Alec looked relieved and drank from his own cup. “What do you want to do?” he asked. “Go out?” 

Magnus stretched and yawned. “Not really,” he said. “I don’t know about you, but I had a lousy night. I’m beat. That annoying adoptive brother of yours thought it would be a good idea to start vacuuming this place at eight in the morning.” 

Alec laughed. “I guess we are early risers,” he said. “Although this wasn’t the best night for me either.” 

“Come lie with me then,” Magnus said, putting away his mug and taking Alec’s hand. Alec followed him to his bedroom. Magnus let himself fall on the bed and watched as Alec sat gingerly on the edge, bending down.

“What are you doing?” Magnus asked. 

“I’m taking off my shoes,” Alec answered.

Magnus looked as Alec took them and placed them neatly against the wall. Then he turned and went to lay a bit stiffly on the bed next to Magnus. Magnus rolled on his side and propped himself up on one elbow, looking down on Alec, who was staring at the ceiling.  

“Something wrong?” Magnus asked, a bit scared what the answer to this question might be. It might have something to do with Jace. 

By way of reply Alec reached out his arm and pulled Magnus against him. Surprised at the gentle gesture, Magnus laid his head on Alec’s shoulder and breathed in his scent of sandalwood and cheap soap. He felt his heart jump at the familiarity of it. _Alec_. Alec was here. It was weird, the effect Alec was having on him. He felt grounded when Alec was here, tethered to him. Save. Peaceful. He relished it and closed his eyes, letting himself drift off to a dream world in which they were together and there was no closet and no Jace and no Valentine or anything else that could disturb them. 

He felt Alec tighten his arm around him and nuzzling his hair. “Nothing is wrong, now,” Alec mumbled, and Magnus felt himself smile at that wonderful reply. 

*** 

When Magnus woke up in Alec’s arms, he opened his eyes and saw afternoon had changed into evening. He moved up to look at Alec. At the movement Alec stirred and opened his eyes. “Hi,” he said and smiled up at Magnus. 

“Hi, yourself,” Magnus replied. “Did you have a nice nap?” 

Alec nodded and yawned. He pulled Magnus towards him and kissed his forehead. Magnus put his arm around his waist and feather brushed his fingers against the bare skin between Alec’s awful sweater and his jeans. Alec startled and moved away. “That tickles,” he said. 

“It does?” Magnus’s eyebrows shot up, a mischievous glance appeared in them as he reached for Alec’s waist again. But before he could touch him there was a blur of movement, and Alec had flipped over and landed at the end of the bed in a crouch.  

“Nice move,” Magnus grinned, reaching for the Shadowhunter, wriggling his fingers. And then Alec jumped and pinned him down on the bed. His hands on both Magnus’s wrists, pushing him into the mattress. 

“You wanna wrestle?” Alec asked, hovering over him. His eyes were glowing and he shot Magnus a crooked smile. “Because I have to warn you, I have brothers and a sister. I’m a king at wrestling.” 

“Hmpph,” Magnus muttered and snapped his fingers.

Alec went flying and landed on the ground next to bed. But he flipped back on the bed in a movement so fast, Magnus couldn’t register it. And Alec was on him again, panting a little. “No fair,” he said. “Using magic on me. Rule number one of wrestling: no magic allowed.” 

“What about you with your permanent runes?” Magnus complained. “Agility, strength, that kind of stuff.” 

“But also muscles,” Alec pointed out. “I work hard for it.” 

“So what do you suggest? No magic doesn’t seem fair to me,” Magnus said. 

“You do have a few hundred years of experience on me,” Alec replied. 

“Fair enough,” Magnus nodded. “No magic, no new runes. Now get off me, cause this is not an even start. I will beat you, you smug Shadowhunter.” 

Alec laughed and rolled onto his back next to Magnus. Magnus counted back from three to one. At one they both jumped up and at each other, but Magnus instantly felt there was no use trying. Alec was so fast and so strong, that in the blink of an eye he was pinned down again. Alec’s knee pressing in his side and he was holding both Magnus’s hands behind his back with one hand. The other cupped Magnus’s cheek, caressing his cheekbone. 

“You were saying?” Alec said in a low voice. 

“Nothing,” Magnus replied, marveling at the blaze of blue fire in Alec’s eyes. 

“I distinctly recall something about a smug Shadowhunter.” 

“I don’t,” Magnus said innocently and smiled wide. “But you win, Alexander.” 

“You bet I do,” Alec grumbled and Magnus laughed out loud. He snapped his finger then, paralyzing Alec for a second. Just long enough to wrestle himself free and roll around, on top of the Shadowhunter. 

“Hey!” Alec said indignant. “We said no magic!” 

“But I had already told you that you won and you weren’t kissing me, so I got impatient,” Magnus explained, and by way of making his point he brought his mouth down on Alec’s, kissing him gently, with a controlled urgency.  

Alec put his arms up and around him, kissing him back with eagerness. Their mouths moving against each other. Their bodies entangled in a passionate embrace, they kissed for a long time. When they finally broke apart, Alec mumbled, “Sorry.” 

“You have to stop apologizing, Alexander,” Magnus said, while tucking a strand of hair behind Alec’s ear. He caressed the Shadowhunter's jaw line and cheekbone, tracing the outline of his lips. “What are you saying sorry for now?” 

“For not kissing you,” Alec said, smiling up at Magnus. “For making you impatient. I wouldn’t want that.” 

“What do you want, then?” Magnus asked softly, still caressing Alec’s face with his finger. 

“You,” Alec whispered roughly and reached out to bring Magnus’s lips back on his. Magnus felt his heart stutter at the unexpected answer and kissed Alec hard and long. Only when Alec’s stomach started to grumble did they break apart.

Magnus ordered pizza and they ate it in his bed, talking and laughing and kissing the evening away and into the night. As Alec dozed off against Magnus’s shoulder, Magnus realized again how much he enjoyed being with Alec like this. Just the two of them in their own world. Their own safe little bubble. He remembered his dream of a world without closets, without Jace or anything else keeping them apart. It would be like this, he thought, it can be like this. 

Alec’s phone started blaring, waking Magnus from his reverie and back to the real world. It was Jace, telling them he needed blood. Clary’s mundane friend had been turned to a vampire. Magnus knew then that it was still just a dream. The real world was calling them now. To come and help and act like they were not a couple. He wondered if he could take it and for how long.  

Alec’s eyes caught his, pleading. “Will you help?” 

Magnus nodded. As long as Alec needed him, he knew he’d be there. 

 


	16. Don't Deny Me

**Tenth meet**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

Magnus was staring at the ceiling of his bedroom when he heard the key in the lock of the front door. Alec was coming over, as he had said he would. Magnus didn’t feel the excitement he usually felt when it came to Alec. 

His thoughts wandered back to last night, it seemed like a weird dream to him now. Clary’s mundane friend, Stanley, rising to become a vampire. He remembered Alec growing pale, reaching out to reassure him, only to find thin air where Alec had just been. He’d moved away from him, not wanting him to touch him in front of the others. It had hurt. Magnus’s mood had changed instantly from curious wonder to mere chagrin. They had brought Stanley to Clary’s home, which was also the house of Luke Garroway, the leader of the downtown New York werewolf pack. They had cleaned the boy up and brought him to his own house. Clary had to be driven back to her house in Luke’s pickup truck and only after that could Magnus finally return to his loft. Not alone of course, he had to bring the annoying blonde Shadowhunter with him. 

“I’ll come by tomorrow,” Alec had called after them when they parted ways. Magnus didn’t know if that remark was meant for him or for Jace but he suspected the latter, which only made him more cranky. 

Jace and Magnus had taken a cab back to Brooklyn. “So, how was your day with Alec?” Jace had asked, innocently. 

“Shut up,” Magnus had replied and Jace, wise as he was, did just that. 

Back home Magnus hadn’t slept that well. He kept tossing and turning, thinking about Alec. Wondering how many times he was going to let that Shadowhunter get to him before he would draw a line.  

Now Alec had come. It was already far into the afternoon. They had come home around sunrise and Magnus only just woke up. He hadn’t heard Jace jet, today. No vacuuming on Sundays, apparently. He heard Alec walk to the kitchen and there were muffled voices. He heard the coffee machine rattle and the scent of freshly made coffee wafted through the loft into his bedroom. 

He was contemplating getting up just when he heard a soft knock on his door. “Come in,” he said and Alec entered, holding two cups of coffee. He shut the door behind him with his foot and came to the bed, handing Magnus a cup. Magnus sat up and took it, looking into Alec’s eyes.  

Alec, who was barefoot, went to sit on the bed. His long legs stretched out before him, ankles crossed. “Magnus,” he said, and the way he said his name was almost enough for Magnus to put away the coffee and wrap his arms around him. There was so much insecurity in Alec’s voice, it hurt him.

Alec looked at him shyly, apologetic. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he continued. “I didn’t-, I mean. I don’t want to-” 

All Magnus’s anger melted as snow in the sun, seeing Alec stammer like that. What did he expect from the boy, really? He was the one who had told Alec that he wasn’t going to make him do anything. He shouldn’t push him like that. So, Alec hadn’t wanted his touch, that was no reason to be so childish about it, so petty. He shook his head and put a hand on Alec’s wrist. 

“Don’t, Alexander,” he said. “You have nothing to apologize for. I was the one being sulky last night. I should apologize.” 

Alec smiled at him, his face lighting up. “That’s okay,” he said softly. 

They drank their coffee in silence until Alec spoke up again. “I was wondering,” he said, excitement suddenly glittering in his features. “If you would want to show me and Jace how you track. Jace told me you’d tried tracking Valentine. We’d like to learn.” 

“Sure, I can do that,” Magnus said. “There are tracking runes available for Shadowhunters, did you know that? I’ll show you guys later in the Gramarye.” 

“That would be awesome,” Alec said, proving to Magnus ones more that he was just a seventeen year old boy. 

“But I first need to shower,” Magnus said, hopping out of bed. “Go watch some television or something.” He shooed Alec out of the room and snapped his fingers to turn on the television for the boys. 

After a long refreshing shower, Magnus took his time doing his hair. Working his way with gel, glitter and a tinge of pink at the tips. He chose a pink shirt with buckles to match his hair and put on some blue designer jeans underneath. Add to it just the right amount of make-up and jewelry and he felt ready to face this day. After all, he did feel a responsibility to the world to be gorgeous. Just when he was finished, the phone rang and he found Luke Garroway at the other end of the line. As new head of the New York werewolf pack, Magnus had to deal with him on urgent matters such as crazy Shadowhunters (re: Valentine) roaming around killing Downworlders in New York.  

He spoke to Luke about the matter while walking up to the small second living room, which was more like a den, where Jace and Alec were sprawled before the television. He watched them closely after hanging up with Luke. It was interesting to see parabatai together. They were brothers in arms. Fighting much better together than apart. But seeing them now, relaxed and watching television, they still radiated closeness. They moved in sync, they laughed in sync. They were bound. Magnus was wondering, if Alec told Jace about his crush on him, how that might affect their bond. He thought Jace might be the kind of guy who could wave that away easily. But Alec wouldn’t, Magnus knew. It was Alec who would draw on the short end, here. 

Magnus sighed, turned away from the boys and sat at his desk, searching through his stuff. He had tried tracking Valentine but hadn’t had much luck so far. He read through several books from the Spiral Labyrinth, trying to find out what was blocking him. “It might be water,” he muttered. “Water can block tracking. Or he’s just not here anymore.” 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up, seeing Alec there with a mug of coffee. He handed it to him. “Don’t work too hard,” he said. “You look tired.” 

Magnus smiled up at him. “You want to look into tracking, now?” he asked as he gratefully took a sip of coffee.

Alec nodded and called Jace to join them. Magnus explained to them the basics of tracking. How you need someone’s possessions to track. How Shadowhunters can use a tracking rune. He showed them the rune in the Gramarye and was just about to suggest they’d try it out when Jace’s phone started to ring.  

As Jace read his caller ID to find out who was calling him, Magnus saw his face turn white. “Clary?” Jace answered his phone and listened intently, but Magnus could tell there was no answer from the other side of the line. “Clary? Are you alright?” 

Jace’s voice sounded brittle and ragged. “Clary. I thought you were avoiding me—” 

Then there was a voice on the other side of the line and Jace’s expression instantly changed from vulnerable to a hard mask. It turned out to be Clary’s vampire friend, what was his name, Sigmund? Magnus didn’t waste his time on remembering names of people who were not of interest to him. 

It turned out there had been a demon attack on Clary’s house, leaving a young girl from Luke’s pack wounded. And of course, he, Magnus Bane, was called to the rescue. This kind of mission required another long cape, Magnus thought, and he chose a black one, decorated with fake crusted glass.

“Let’s go,” he announced to the boys, walking down the stairs and ordering a cab. Another rescue mission. They just kept coming and coming. 

*** 

After healing two werewolves, first the girl, Maia, and then Luke himself, who had been attacked, too, Magnus sank down on the armrest of a chair. Using this much magic on healing left him drained and exhausted. Clary had jumped up and over to Luke, who was lying on the couch. “He’s alright!” she exclaimed. 

Magnus sighed, frustrated that she would doubt his abilities. He felt little patience when Clary’s friend, he thought his name was Simon, said, “So he’ll live? You’re sure?” 

“Yes, I’m sure,” he answered. “I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn; I know what I’m doing.”

His eyes wandered to Jace and Alec, standing too close together. He felt a stiffness coming over him and wondered why he was even there.

“Which reminds me that I’m not exactly sure what it is you think you’re doing, calling on me every time one of you has so much as an ingrown toenail that needs clipping. As High Warlock, my time is valuable. There are plenty of lesser warlocks who’d be happy to do a job for you at a greatly reduced rate.” 

He felt Clary stare at him. “You’re charging us? But Luke is a friend!” 

“Not a friend of mine,” he said, while taking out a blue cigarette from his shirt pocket. “I met him only on the few occasions when your mother brought him along when your memory spells were being refreshed.”

He passed his hand across the cigarette’s tip to lit it, using a multicolored flame, because he liked added drama. “Did you think I was helping you out of the goodness of my heart? Or am I just the only warlock you happen to know?” 

“No,” Jace said, and Magnus heard the contained fury in his voice. Jace was not used to people saying no to him or talking back to him. “But you are the only warlock we know who happens to be dating a friend of ours.” 

Magnus felt astonished at the words and a flare of anger lit up in his chest. Why would Jace put his parabatai out like that. He wanted to tell Jace to back off, but before he could find the words, Alec spoke up, his voice shaking. “Why would you say something like that?” 

Jace looked to his parabatai in surprise, and Magnus had to fight the urge to kick him. “Something like what?” Jace asked. 

“That I’m dating—that we’re—it’s not true,” Alec said, and he sounded more upset than Magnus had ever heard him before, fighting to control his voice. 

And Jace was still not done. “I didn’t say he was dating you,” he said. “But funny that you knew just what I meant, isn’t it?” 

Oh well, the cat was out of the bag. Magnus blew out a breath of blue smoke while looking at Alec. What Alec said next shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but it felt like a blow to the chest, regardless. 

“We’re not dating,” Alec said. 

“Oh?” Magnus said, suddenly unable to control himself. “So you’re just that friendly with everybody, is that it?” 

“Magnus!” Alec stared at him, beseeching. _Now I’ve done it_ , Magnus thought, _I should have kept my mouth shut._ He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. Not inclined to say another word. He didn’t know how to fix this, it was Alec’s battle to fight. 

Alec was still shaking, his head red. “You don’t—” he stammered, turning to Jace. “I mean, you couldn’t possibly think—” 

Jace, of course, was totally oblivious to the damage he had done. He had known or guessed Alec was gay, but he didn’t know about Alec’s suppressed feelings for him.  “What I don’t get is you going to all these lengths to hide your relationship with Magnus from me when it’s not as if I would mind if you did tell me about it,” he said. 

Alec, who had been red before, now went gray, as if he was about to faint. 

Jace, clearly not understanding, turned to Magnus. “Help me convince him,” he said. “That I really don’t care.” 

“Oh,” Magnus said quietly. “I think he believes you about that.” 

“Then I don’t…” He looked bewildered and Magnus was tempted to shout at him.

_Can’t you see it! That he loves you. And that you turn him down, again and again. You stupid Shadowhunter, with all your amazing skills, you don’t even know the beautiful heart of your own parabatai_ _!!!_

Before he could open his mouth, Clary stepped forward and said. “Jace, that’s enough. Let it alone.” 

At that moment Luke woke up and Magnus was Clary intensely grateful for intervening. Everyone’s attention went to Luke, except Alec’s. But Magnus saw his complexion was turning to a normal color again. He smoked his cigarette then, thoughtfully. What a mess, he thought. How did I get myself into this? 

Alec left soon after that, not saying goodbye to anyone. His shoulders hunched. Magnus had to fight back the urge to run after him, knowing it would be the last thing Alec would want.  

To make sure the wounded would heal alright, he decided to stay the night at Luke’s house. Clary went to bed. Jace was playing the piano, Magnus made him promise to stay in the house. He didn’t have enough energy to keep Jace bound by magic. He hoped Jace would be smart enough to keep his promises, otherwise there would be hell to pay. Magnus closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep on the sofa in Luke’s living room. Behind his eyelids Alec’s gray, pale face doomed up. 

 _My Alec, please don’t deny me…_  

 

 


	17. Fearless

**Eleventh meet** **–** **Fearless**  

 

 ** _Alec_**  

Alec felt awful when he awoke the next morning. The conversation from last night came screaming back at him. Jace telling him he didn’t care. Asking Magnus to help him convince Alec. As if Alec didn’t know. Of course he knew. He knew Jace didn’t care. Yet it had hurt more than he thought it would. Hearing Jace say the words aloud. Knowing Jace would never love him back, not in the way he loved Jace. He had been tossing and turning all night, thinking about it. And more than once Magnus’s pained expression came into view. The warlock had been hurt, Alec knew. He was surprised Magnus cared that much. Then again, he guessed it wouldn’t be a nice experience to be denied like that.

_We’re not dating._

A flat out lie, right into his face. Alec felt terrible about it. He wondered if he could fix it. If he could go back to Magnus after last night. Would Magnus let him? He was scared that the warlock was going to push him away now, and he found he didn’t want that. He really liked Magnus and he liked spending time with him. It wasn’t just the kissing or making out, which he loved. But it was Magnus himself, whom he liked. His flair. His jokes. His uncontrolled temper. His magic. The way his cat eyes shone. The way he called him Alexander.

Alec let out a deep sigh, thinking how he had made a mess of this. He leapt out of bed. He needed to go back there. See if he could fix things with both Jace and Magnus. With Jace, to go back to where they were, not talking about him liking guys and definitely not showing Jace how he really felt. And with Magnus, to see if he would have Alec back. Although he had no idea how to accomplish that. 

Alec put on a clean pair of jeans and a black sweater and headed out of the Institute, avoiding his mother. Maryse had yelled at him last night, telling him to stay away from the trouble that Jace now seemed to be. Alec had no inclination to listen to her. He knew she was worried, but that was no reason for him to leave Jace alone. He took the subway to Luke’s place and stopped on his way at a bakery to buy a bucket load of doughnuts, thinking people might want to have some breakfast. Carrying the white box he approached the house and sat down at the porch for a moment, gathering his courage.

“Alec!” He heard a familiar voice call his name and his head shot up. Jace was walking towards him, looking pale, as if he hadn’t slept all night. “What are you doing here?” 

Alec shrugged and got up. Jace opened the door and Alec walked after him into the living room. His eyes were instantly drawn to Magnus, who was dropping what seemed like a towel on the floor and looked at him squarely. He looked back and felt a tiny flare of relief, because there wasn’t anger in Magnus’s eyes. He couldn’t tell what it was he did saw there. Was it longing? Or regret? Alec averted his eyes and stared down at the floor while Jace did the talking, as usual.  

While eating the doughnuts Alec brought, the group got to talking about the demon attack last night and how Clary evidently scared the demons off with a rune. A new rune, one she’d seen in a dream. Luke ordered her to get her sketchbook to show them all her ability to create new runes.  

Though Alec was mildly interested in this new turn of events, he felt too preoccupied with his own problems to really participate. He was leaning against the piano, behind Jace who was sitting on the piano bench. Magnus, who sat in a chair at the other end of the room was avoiding looking at him, which made him uncomfortable. He wanted to know what was going on in his head. He was afraid that Magnus would throw his crush on Jace in his face.

While he was considering all the awful things Magnus could think about him or say to him, Clary was trying to come up with a rune to draw. When Jace suggested Fearless, Alec’s interest was piqued. Fearless, that sounded like a useful rune to him. He looked over at the paper on which Clary started drawing a complicated rune, it looked kind of pretty. 

“There,” she said, when she was finished and showed them the rune.  

“Cool,” Alec said. 

Jace walked towards her and took the paper from her. “But does it work?” 

Clary looked at him through narrowed eyes. “What do you mean?” she asked him.

Jace had sounded almost sarcastic. And though Alec knew he was genuinely asking the question, he could imagine Clary would feel as if he were acting out towards her. Jace could come across like that, and today he seemed in a terrible mood.   

“I mean, how do we know it works?” Jace said. “Right now it’s just a drawing—you can’t take fear away from a piece of paper, it doesn’t have any to begin with. We have to try it out on one of us before we can be sure it’s a real rune.” 

“I’m not sure that’s such a great idea,” Luke said. 

“It’s a fabulous idea,” said Jace. “I’ve got a stele we can use. Who wants to do me?” 

“A regrettable choice of words,” muttered Magnus. Alec couldn’t help but cut a glance at him, only to realize that Magnus still wasn’t looking at him. 

Luke stood up. “No,” he said. “Jace, you already behave as if you’ve never heard the word ‘fear.’ I fail to see how we’re going to be able to tell the difference if it does work on you.” 

Alec felt the laugh come up in his throat and subdued it hastily. Luke was making a great point. 

“I’ve heard the word ‘fear,’” Jace said. “I simply choose to believe it doesn’t apply to me.” 

“Exactly the problem,” said Luke. 

“Well, why don’t I try it on you, then?” Clary offered Luke. 

“You can’t Mark Downworlders, Clary, not with any real effect,” Luke answered. “The demon disease that causes lycanthropy prevents the Marks from taking effect.” 

Alec thought for a second and made up his mind. He would try that rune. Luke was right about Jace. A fearless rune on him was pointless. But Alec, on the other hand, felt he could use it. 

“Try it on me. I could do with some fearlessness.” He slid his jacket off, tossed it over the piano stool, and crossed the room to stand in front of Jace. “Here. Mark my arm.” 

Jace looked at Clary. “Unless you think you should do it?” 

She shook her head. “No. You’re probably better at actually applying Marks than I am.” 

Jace turned towards him. “Roll up your sleeve, Alec.” 

Alec rolled his sleeve up and tipped with a finger on the spot on his arm where Jace should put the Mark. Just underneath the permanent Mark for balance. Jace bend his head over Alec’s arm and started to draw. The tip of the stele burned in his skin and Alec couldn’t help but recoil a little. Marks could be painful sometimes and this one hurt a little more than usual. He wondered why. 

He felt all eyes on him as Jace finished the rune. “Well, it looks nice at least,” Jace said. “Whether it works or not…” 

Alec touched the new Mark with his fingertips, he had to agree with Jace, it did look nice. He glanced up to everyone staring at him expectantly. 

“So?” Clary said. 

“So what?” Alec rolled his sleeve down, covering the Mark. 

“So, how do you feel? Any different?” 

Alec considered her question, but he couldn’t feel anything different. “Not really.” 

Jace threw his hands up. “So it doesn’t work.” 

“Not necessarily,” Luke said. “There might simply be nothing going on that might activate it. Perhaps there isn’t anything here that Alec is afraid of.” 

Alec’s eyes fell on Magnus who was looking at him with curiosity. He leaned forward in his chair. “Boo,” he said. Alec smiled a little, wondering if Magnus would actually think he could be afraid of him.  

“Come on,” Jace cut in. “Surely you’ve got a phobia or two. What scares you?” 

Alec thought for a moment. “Spiders,” he said, thinking about the big black haired eight legged monsters that scared the crap out of him. 

Clary turned to Luke. “Have you got a spider anywhere?” 

Luke looked annoyed. “Why would I have a spider? Do I look like someone who would collect them?” 

“No offense,” Jace said. “But you kind of do.” 

“You know,” Alec was getting a bit frustrated at how this was going. “Maybe this was a stupid experiment.” 

“What about the dark?” Clary suggested. “We could lock you in the basement.” 

“I’m a demon hunter,” he said to Clary, with exaggerated patience. “Clearly, I am not afraid of the dark.” 

“Well, you might be.” 

“But I’m not.” He found himself regret having offered to put on the rune when the doorbell rang. Luke opened it and into the room walked both his parents, Izzy and the Inquisitor. 

Suddenly Alec felt the rune on his arm burn up, looking at his parents and his sister and then looking back to Magnus. He felt the resolve harden in him. It was time, high time, to tell them all the truth. He couldn’t remember why he had been so afraid of that truth before. The fear seemed ridiculous to him now. He stepped forward and looked squarely into his parents eyes. 

His mother started. “Alec, what on earth are you doing here? I thought I made it clear that—” 

“Mother.” Alec interrupted his mother, and he heard the firmness in his own voice. “Father. There’s something I have to tell you.” He felt a smile coming up on his face and wondered why it had taken him so long to finally come out to his parents. “I’m seeing someone.” 

“Alec,” his father began. “This is hardly the time.” 

“Yes, it is. This is important.” Alec pushed through now, wanting to get the words out. “You see, I’m not just seeing anyone. I’m seeing a Downworlder. In fact, I’m seeing a war—” 

Everything went blank as all the energy drained out of his body, and he fell down on the floor. A dizzying feeling of confusion overwhelmed Alec when he fluttered his eyes open and saw Isabelle squatted down next to him.   

“Wha—what—why am I on the floor?” 

“That’s a good question.” Isabelle glared at him. “What was that?” 

“What was what?” Alec sat up, holding his head, trying to get rid of the dizziness. Then his memory surfaced and he realized what he was thinking before he had inexplicably fell to the ground. “Wait—did I say anything? Before I passed out, I mean.” 

“You know how we were wondering if that thing Clary did would work or not?” Jace asked. “It works all right.” 

The Fearless Rune. _By the Angel, what did I_ _say_ _?_ Alec felt a horror as old as life itself rise up inside him. “What did I say?” 

“You said you were seeing someone,” his father told him. “Though you weren’t clear as to why that was important.” 

“It’s not,” Alec hurried to tell him, his father looked at him in astonishment. “I mean, I’m not seeing anyone. And it’s not important. Or it wouldn’t be if I was seeing someone, which I’m not.” 

It was then that he caught Magnus’s eyes and he saw the disdain in them. Magnus looked at him as if he were an idiot. “Alec’s been delirious,” he said. “Side effect of some demon toxins. Most unfortunate, but he’ll be fine soon.” 

“Demon toxins?” His mother said. “No one reported a demon attack to the Institute. What is going on here, Lucian? This is your house, isn’t it? You know perfectly well if there’s been a demon attack you’re supposed to report it—” 

Alec stared down at his hands, still sitting on the ground, feeling horrible. He understood it had been Magnus who had stopped him from coming out. Who had shielded him, using his magic on him, protected him, so he wouldn’t do what he wasn’t ready to do. And Alec was immensely grateful for it. But he had no idea how to pay Magnus back for what he had done for him. He also had no idea what it all meant for Magnus. It couldn’t feel good, using magic on the person you’re dating to prevent them to tell people about it. Or maybe Magnus wouldn’t want him to tell it to his parents. Although Alec couldn’t imagine why Magnus would care about that. He was a warlock, a very powerful one at that. Why would he care what Alec’s parents would think? 

Half of the conversation around him was lost on him, until he registered the Inquisitor was blaming Magnus for failing in his duty when it came to Jace. 

“Failed in my duty?” he heard Magnus say. “Just by bringing the boy here? There was nothing in the contract I signed that said I couldn’t bring him with me at my own discretion.” 

“That wasn’t your failure,” the Inquisitor said. “Letting him see his father last night, that was your failure.” 

Alec was stunned, he got up from the floor and stared at Jace, trying to find eye contact. Why would Jace go to his father? What could he possibly want with Valentine? 

It turned out the Inquisitor had done some tracking of her own, and, when Jace had sneaked out, for a walk, as he had said, evidently he had been visiting his father on a boat in the East River. Now the Inquisitor was bend on taking him prisoner and ship him to Idris. Alec felt his heartbeat drum in his ears. Whatever reason Jace had for visiting his father, Alec knew in his heart of hearts, that Jace was not a traitor. Whatever else he might be, arrogant, sarcastic, moody. He wasn’t a traitor. 

While the Inquisitor shouted at everyone, including Izzy, Alec made a judgment call. The Inquisitor was like a hawk and she’d be watching Izzy, whom she didn’t trust, from now on until she left with Jace to Idris. But there was no way Alec would let her take Jace away from them. Not if he could do anything about it. So he decided a ploy. Act as if the Inquisitor was right, and Jace was wrong. Only then could he come near enough. 

Luke was the only one in the room who said something that made sense. “If the boy went to his father, knowing the kind of father Valentine was, it is because we failed him, not because he has failed us.” 

“Save your sophistry, Lucian,” said the Inquisitor. “You’ve gone as soft as a mundane.” 

“She’s right.” Alec thought this would be the right time to start his ploy, if he wanted the Inquisitor to trust him. He crossed his arms and set his jaw for good measure. He knew he could lie pretty convincingly.  “Jace lied to us. There’s no excuse for that.” 

The effect his words were having surprised him. He saw Jace’s jaw drop and Isabelle was staring at him, horrified. “Alec, how can you say that?” 

“The Law is the Law, Izzy,” he said, he had to drive home his point now, though he couldn’t look at her. “There’s no way around that.” 

Isabelle made a noise that Alec knew meant she was furious. She turned around and stalked out of the door. From the corner of his eye Alec saw Magnus stand up. He looked up at the warlock, but Magnus was avoiding him. And his words cut through him like a knife. 

“I do believe that’s my cue to leave as well,” he said. “I’d say it’s been nice meeting you all, but, in fact, it hasn’t. It’s been quite awkward, and frankly, the next time I see a single one of you will be far too soon.” 

Alec stared at the ground as Magnus walked out of the house and shut the door behind him with a loud bang. He flinched at the sound, it felt as if someone had hit him.

 _Great job, Alec. Instead of making things up with Magnus, you’ve somehow made it worse. Now he’s never talking to you again._    

“Two down,” said Jace. “Who’s next?” 

The Inquisitor snapped at Jace and bound his hands with a rune. It looked painful and Alec felt bad for him, but for now he had to put up the act of being on the Inquisitor’s side. They all turned to leave for the Institute, Jace in front, the Inquisitor right behind him. Alec followed his parents, his eyes fixed on the ground. He didn’t know if he should feel sad, or anxious, or horrified. He thought back at that moment when the Fearless rune had worked its power on him, and he felt he missed that feeling now. 

 _I could use some fearlessness_ , he thought. His mind went to Magnus and how he had stalked out of them, banging the door. _Have I lost him, or would he let me come back to him?_  

There was no answer. 

 


	18. Shadowhunters, Boy, Did They Suck!

**Phone call meet – not a real meet**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

Magnus heard the door fall shut with a bang, which gave him a little bit of satisfaction. He was furious. Furious at that horrible Inquisitor. At Robert and Maryse Lightwood for being horrible parents. At Jace for lying to him and making him look bad. At every single person in that room, really. Except… 

Shadowhunters. _Boy_ , did they suck!  

He dipped out his phone from his pocket and called Catarina, hoping she might be in for having lunch. She was, and they met at Taki’s, a Downworld restaurant in Manhattan. Catarina was wearing her shrubs, indicating she came straight from work. She’d been working in hospitals for a long time now, had found her calling there. She was a warlock, like Magnus was, and one of the few constant factors in his life.  

They sat down in a booth and Catarina asked him what was going on with Valentine and the murders that had taken place. He told her what he had found out about it. How Valentine was killing young Downworlders to perform a ritual of conversion. 

“He wants a war,” Magnus said. “With Shadowhunters.” 

“Well, what else is new?” Catarina said. “He wanted the same thing in the eighties during the Uprising. Do you think we should lay low and wait it out? Leave it to the Shadowhunters to resolve their own problems.” 

Magnus sighed deep and thought of Alec. The idea of Alec in a fight against Valentine and his demons didn’t sit well with him. As long as that awful Inquisitor was still in charge, he didn’t trust the Shadowhunters to deal sufficiently with the problem. “They’re not capable,” he mumbled. “And who knows what will happen if Valentine wins?” 

Catarina observed him carefully. “What’s wrong, Magnus?” she asked. “Is it that Shadowhunter you dated? Are you worried about him?” 

“I am,” Magnus confessed. He looked up at her. “Do you remember the Uprising? I met Maryse Lightwood then. They were attacking a bunch of werewolves. She was carrying him at that point. I told her he’d be a repellant brat.” Magnus laughed without mirth.  

“So you turned out to be wrong,” Catarina said, smiling lightly. “It’s not the first time.” 

“He’s not what I expected,” Magnus said, it felt like an understatement. 

“But he’s a Shadowhunter and you’re a warlock. I get it.” Catarina said. “They’re a conservative group of people. And you’re crossing the line twice by being both gay and a Downworlder.” 

“I’m not gay,” Magnus said. “I’m bisexual, you know that.” 

Catarina raised her eyebrows. “And that makes a difference, how? He is a boy, as far as I know. So it’s the gay side of your bisexual orientation that is at work here.” 

“Hmm, what a thing to say,” Magnus muttered, unhappily. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Like I told you before, he’s into blondes. I’m wasting my time with him.” 

Their food came and they ate in silence for a while. “I just wished,” Magnus said. “That he wasn’t a Shadowhunter.” 

“You can’t change the people you love,” Catarina replied. 

“I know. And I don’t even mean it. I like that he’s a warrior. Strong and powerful,” Magnus mused. “But those Shadowhunters worry me. Now with Valentine rampaging in our city.” 

“So help them,” Catarina suggested. “If they need it or ask you for it.” 

“Yeah,” Magnus said. “I think I will.” 

On his way home he thought about the look on Alec’s face after he had paralyzed him in front of his parents. The effect of the rune gone, he saw sheer panic there. It had made him so mad. Who were these people, that they wouldn’t let their son be who he was? That he didn’t feel the safety to come out and start living his own life? To be so afraid for his feelings. Magnus hurt for Alec’s sake. He wanted to go to him and wrap his arms around him. Tell him that it was okay, that _he_ was okay. Being gay was who he was, and he was amazing. Wonderful. Worth loving. Worth everything and anything. He should come out of hiding, walk in the sunlight. Let the world see how incredible he was. 

He climbed up the stairs to his loft and sunk down on the sofa, watching the sky turn gray. His phone rang just as he wanted to get up and get himself some coffee. It was Alec. He answered the phone quickly. 

“Magnus,” Alec’s voice sounded shy and apologetic, almost afraid. “I’m sorry to bother you. I know you said you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. But-”  

“I didn’t mean you,” Magnus said, wanting to reassure him more than anything. “I meant all those awful other people in that house this morning.” 

“Oh?” Magnus could hear how surprised Alec was in the sound of that single syllable. It was silent at the other end of the line for awhile. Magnus decided to break it. “Is something going on? Are you calling to ask me for help?” 

“Well,” Alec hesitated. “It does involve some of those awful other people.” 

“Of course it does,” Magnus grumbled. “Spill it, Alec, what do you need?” 

“Clary called to say Valentine has kidnapped Simon. You know? Her vampire friend. And Maia, the werewolf girl,” Alec said. “Jace wants to go to Valentine’s boat in the East River to rescue them, but he needs your help. A way to get there, and to break down the wards that surround the boat.” 

“I thought you’d sworn Jace off. You know, _the law is the law_ and all,” Magnus inquired. 

Alec huffed, impatiently. “I didn’t mean any of that. I just said it to get the Inquisitor to trust me. And it worked. I was able to help Jace get free and he’s escaped now to go to the boat. Will you help him?” 

Magnus smiled. “You never cease to amaze me, Alexander. I’ll help you. Where is he, is he alone?” 

“He’s with Luke and Clary. He said you could pick the address for where to enter the river.” 

“They have Luke’s truck I assume?” Magnus asked. 

“Yes, I saw them drive away in it,” Alec said. 

“Very well. Tell them to meet me at Red Hook, the Clinton Wharf.” He snapped the phone shut and walked to his bedroom to change. He put on a black suit, a frock black coat over it. Black, like Shadowhunters. The war was about to commence. 

 

 


	19. Take My Strength

**Twelfth meet**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

It cost Magnus an immense amount of energy and power to keep the wards off the ship. Valentine had protected it well. Luke, Clary and Jace had left the truck ages ago, and in the mean time Shadowhunters had come on boats. They all had boarded the ship and the battle was on. He could see the many swarming figures, demons and Shadowhunters fighting. Seraph blades swirling through the air. He didn’t know who was on the winning side, but he did know they had to hurry the process along. He felt it would be a matter of hours, maybe less, before his energy would be drained. 

He watched the boat and saw a girl with flowing black hair descend down a ladder from the side of it. Isabelle. She climbed down towards the Shadowhunter boat lying next to the ship. Magnus saw she tilted her head and he followed her gaze. His breath caught. 

The lanky warrior with black hair was flying through the air, diving down fast and hit the water with such an impact that Magnus could hear it from where he was sitting. He didn’t waste a second, put a quick spell on the truck and dove into the water. With what he thought were his last magical efforts he drew Alec’s body to him, through the water. As soon as he was in his reach, Magnus grabbed the unconscious body of the Shadowhunter and pulled him up in the back of the truck. From the corner of his eye he saw Isabelle had reached the Shadowhunter boat, she was watching them anxiously from a distance. Magnus climbed in the truck after Alec and hovered fearfully over him. He was lying on his back, his face paper white and he wasn’t breathing. “Come on,” Magnus said, slapping Alec lightly on the cheek. “Come on, Alexander. Breathe.” 

He rolled him over on his side and slapped on his back with a flat hand. “Don’t you dare die on me," he called out. 

For one agonizing second he thought he was too late, but then Alec’s body spasmed. He coughed loudly and sat upright. Choking and gagging on the filthy river water.  

Magnus sat back against the side of the car, feeling a profound relief. Alec was alive. Magnus was heaving from the physical exertion, watching Alec as he was trying to catch his breath. He was gasping. His face still extremely pale and his teeth began to chatter. “What—what happened?” 

“You tried to drink the East River,” Magnus said. “I pulled you out.” 

Alec looked bewildered, he grabbed around his belt, his head turning, looking for something as he remembered what happened. “Isabelle! She was climbing down when I fell—” 

“She’s fine. She made it to a boat. I saw her.” Magnus reached for Alec, worried about his frantic state. He had hit the water so hard. “You, on the other hand, might have a concussion.” 

“I need to get back to the battle.” Alec pushed his hand away. “You’re a warlock. Can’t you, I don’t know, fly me back to the boat or something? And fix my concussion while you’re at it?” 

Magnus fell back against the truck. He was having difficulty keeping his eyes open. _Fly me to the boat. Fix my concussion._ He felt he was turning rapidly into Alec’s little slave.  

Alec apparently realized that himself as well. “Sorry, I know you don’t have to help us out—it’s a favor—” 

“Stop. I don’t do you favors, Alec.” Magnus sighed deeply. Wondering if he should explain to the boy what was so obvious to him. How could he not know? “I do things for you because—well, why do you think I do them?” 

Alec swallowed hard. The blue in his eyes almost gone in the dark. Magnus thought he looked beautiful. Burdened, upset, and confused, but beautiful nonetheless. He saw a flicker of pain in Alec’s eyes and thought for a moment that Alec might understand. That he truly liked him and cared for him. That he didn’t want him to get hurt. That he wanted the best for him. For Alec to be happy. That was what he wanted. 

But Alec choked, breathed hard and then shook his head.  “I need to get back to the ship,” he said, finally. 

 _Of course you do_ , Magnus thought. He closed his eyes for a second and said slowly, “I would help you. But I can’t. Stripping the protection wards off the ship was bad enough—it’s a strong, strong enchantment, demon-based—but when you fell, I had to put a fast spell on the truck so it wouldn’t sink when I lost consciousness.” He opened his eyes and looked at Alec, who was staring at him, eyes wide. “And I will lose consciousness, Alec. It’s just a matter of time.” He passed a hand across his eyes, feeling weaker than ever. “I didn’t want you to drown. The enchantment should hold enough for you to get the truck back to land.” 

“I—didn’t realize,” Alec stammered, and Magnus saw he was looking at him now, really looking and seeing him too. He saw the stubborn determination in Alec’s eyes change to intense worry as Alec reached both his hands out to him. He looked down at Alec’s hands and then back into his eyes. What did he want? 

“Take my hands,” Alec said. “And take my strength too. Whatever of it you can use to—to keep yourself going.” 

Magnus stared at him, not moving, incredulous. “I thought you had to get back to the ship.” 

“I have to fight,” said Alec. “But that’s what you’re doing, isn’t it? You’re part of the fight just as much as the Shadowhunters on the ship—and I know you can take some of my strength, I’ve heard of warlocks doing that—so I’m offering. Take it. It’s yours. 

He nodded then and grabbed Alec’s outstretched hands. He whispered a spell and felt the energy like a shock streaming from Alec’s hands in his own. A weird, sparkling energy, coursing through his veins. The energy of a strong and vibrant Shadowhunter. The effect was instant. The pounding headache that had come up after his dive in the river went away, and the pressure behind his eyes left. He was able to open them wider and look at Alec. 

Alec was sitting across from him, his face intent on the task. “Is it working?” he asked. 

Magnus nodded. “Don’t let go.” 

“I won’t.” Alec made it sound like a promise. A promise Magnus believed. He wasn’t going to let him go. 

* * *

 

 ** _Alec_**  

Magnus seemed to be doing better by the minute, Alec noticed. He had been scared that the warlock had been too depleted of energy, but he revived after taking Alec’s hands. It was a strange sensation. He felt the death grip of Magnus’s hands in his. Their warmth too. He thought it might hurt, but it didn’t. He barely felt the energy leaving him. 

They sat like that across from each other, looking at each other. His earlier, confused frustration had left, and instead he marveled at the beauty of the warlock. His cat eyes were shining, his hair hung flat and was tucked behind his ears. He didn’t wear the usual amount of glitter and make up, so Alec could appreciate the smooth caramel colored skin. Now that he didn’t look that exhausted anymore, Alec noticed how young he looked. More a boy than a man. While he contemplated this they suddenly heard a loud cracking noise. Both their heads jerked up and they stared, wide eyed at what they saw before them. 

The entire ship seemed to break from the inside out. The metal breaking made a screaming sound, and Alec saw several Shadowhunters fell or jump from the ship, as it started to tilt.

“By the Angel,” he stammered. Magnus had jumped up, pulling him up with him and let go of his hands. They both stared at the havoc. 

“What’s happening?” Alec said. He saw Shadowhunters in the water, recognized one of them as his own father. “We need to help them,” he called out and surged forward, ready to jump in the water. But then Magnus’s hand was on his shoulder, holding him back.

“Wait. Look, Alec.” He pointed to the water. 

Alec followed Magnus’s finger, bewildered, and then he saw. Mermaids. One of them had already grabbed his father and she was swimming with him to the nearest Shadowhunter boat. Alec followed them with his eyes and saw how she carefully laid his father in the boat. 

At that moment someone clamped himself to the outside of the truck. Alec looked down and immediately squatted down to help. With both hands he pulled the body on the truck bed. It was Luke. 

The boat had started to burn and the air was filled with tiny flakes of ash. Alec looked up at Magnus and saw his hair and shoulders were covered with it. Luke coughed and sat up, apparently unharmed.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked.

Luke nodded and stared at the ship that was sinking fast. “A Nixie helped me get here.”  

Alec looked back at the boat where his father was, and he saw him lying motionless in it. His mother had appeared next to him, kneeling down, stroking his hair. “My father,” he called out. “He’s wounded.” 

He turned to Magnus, regarding the warlock closely. He didn’t want to ask him to help if he wasn’t up to it. But Magnus seemed to be invigorated and took Alec’s hand. “Come, I’ll take you to him and I’ll see what I can do. Jump with me.” 

Alec jumped and Magnus pulled him with him through the air, covering the distance between the truck and the Shadowhunter boat. They landed together next to Alec’s parents, and Magnus let go of his hand, kneeling down at his father’s side. His mother looked at the warlock and then up towards him. “Alec,” she said, sounding immensely grateful. She reached out and squeezed his hand. “Are you okay?” 

Alec nodded and knelt down next to her, looking at his father. Magnus was examining him quickly and was already busy sending blue sparks from his hands into the wound. “Is it bad?” Alec asked. 

Magnus didn’t reply, as he was too busy trying to heal a gaping wound in Robert’s side. “Where is Izzy?” Alec turned to his mother now. “She was wounded, too.” 

“She’s in one of the other boats,” his mother replied and Alec looked up. About a dozen boats were floating in the river. The black ship had vanished but the world was still white, ashes seemed to be raining down from the sky. 

“I will check on her next,” Magnus said. 

Alec nodded, grateful. “But only if you’re up for it.” 

Magnus looked up and in his eyes over his father’s body. “Don’t you worry about me, Shadowhunter. I have all the strength I need right here.” 

Alec thought in that moment that maybe things would turn out okay after all. 

 


	20. Between City of Ashes and City of Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between City of Ashes and City of Glass Magnus and Alec meet up a few times. Alec's birthday is set in between these two books. For these chapters I've used the Bane Chronicles, What to buy the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything. All credits for that go to Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan and Maureen Johnson.

 

 ** _Alec_**  

Do you know what I feel? 

It’s all so new still 

I want you 

It’s that simple sometimes 

But confusing thoughts enter my mind 

And you 

I want to say something 

Anything that’s meaningful and true 

But it feels like I’m choking 

Can you endure while I swim 

In uncertainty  

Will you be there when I surface? 

* * *

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

Those electric blue eyes staring 

My heart is fissuring 

It seems I cannot do anything 

But give it to you 

And you cannot do anything 

But break it 

Don’t you know 

Can’t you see it 

How much I love you 

And it hurts like hell 

Alexander 

 


	21. Waking Up to the Smell of Coffee

**Thirteenth Meet - Waking up to the smell of coffee**

 

_He lifted his head from the pillow he was clutching and then realized what he was doing: searching the air for a trace of the smell of coffee._

  * The Bane Chronicles, What to Buy the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything, p.307



* * *

**_Magnus_ **

Magnus woke up to the smell of coffee. _Alec._ His heart jumped. It had happened a few times in the previous weeks that he had woken up to this smell and found Alec in his kitchen, making coffee. The only reason for him to smell coffee now, was that Alec was here. He jumped out of bed and pulled a black dressing gown over his bare chest and silk pajama bottoms and hurried for the door. With his hand on the handle he came to a stop.  _You have to stop playing hard to get, Magnus_ , he chided himself. He couldn’t run to the kitchen and fling himself on the Shadowhunter. That would definitely be revealing too much of his heart, and he was pretty sure Alec wasn’t up for it. Or at least, he wasn't in the same place Magnus was.

With all the strength he could muster he slowly opened the door and strolled through the loft in the direction of the kitchen, feigning indifference. In the doorway he came to a stand to watch Alec, who was standing next to the coffee machine, reaching up in the cupboard for a mug. The sight of him made his heart jump. He turned and gave Magnus a lopsided grin.

“Hey,” he said. “Did I wake you? I felt like coming over for coffee. I hope that’s okay?”

Magnus smiled at him. “Good morning, Alexander. It’s good to see you.”

Alec mumbled something that sounded as ‘likewise’ and turned back to reaching for the coffee mug. Magnus took a few steps into the kitchen, wanting to close the distance between them. _Really_ , he thought, would it be such a bother for Alec to first greet him properly? The coffee could wait. Then again, Magnus didn’t want to come off too eager. It was such a conundrum. Not to play his hand too soon, but also not wanting to hold back.

“What?” he asked. “What did you say?”

Alec took the coffee mug, placed it on the counter and reached out an arm towards Magnus. He wrapped his slender hand around Magnus’s upper arm and unexpectedly pulled Magnus into the circle of his arms. “I said,” his voice sounding close to Magnus’s ear. “Likewise.”

Magnus leaned into the hug, burying his nose in Alec’s hair and inhaling his scent. Alec pulled him tighter against his body and Magnus felt a flare of heat from where Alec’s lips brushed against his neck. _Just standing like this_ , he thought, _not ever letting go. It would be fine by me._

He felt Alec exhale, his breath stirring the hairs in Magnus’s neck. “Are you okay?”  Magnus asked, suddenly worried. “Is everything okay with your father?”

It was only yesterday morning at sunrise that Magnus had healed Alec’s father from a demon wound. He wasn’t in any danger when Magnus had left but he needed care.

“Yeah,” Alec’s voice sounded muffled. "He's fine, my father."

Then Alec released his arms, and in response Magnus tightened his own grip on him.

“Don’t let go,” he said in Alec’s hair. “Just stand like this. For a little while.”

He felt Alec’s hot breath under his ear as Alec pressed his lips against Magnus’s sensitive skin there. He traced a pattern of kisses down Magnus’s throat, over his jaw and then pressed his lips against Magnus’s mouth. Magnus parted his lips and Alec’s tongue slid into his mouth. He felt the ardor in Alec’s touch. How he gave himself wholeheartedly to Magnus. Every time they kissed, Magnus felt it in the core of his being. How open and giving Alec was. How he was holding nothing back. Magnus loved that about him. He was so different, so novel, nothing like anything Magnus knew. He was very unlike Magnus himself.

When you live as long as Magnus had lived, it was hard to be open and stay open. To give yourself away to people who die or leave you. Magnus had learned to be careful with himself, with his heart, which was broken so many times. It had been decades now, since his last real love had left him. And he was closing himself off, the distance between him and other living creatures growing. But now…

Now here he was, standing in the arms of a tall, blue-eyed Shadowhunter, who was kissing him with everything he had. And Magnus felt a strong compulsion to give back. To open his heart for this young boy. To love and be loved. So he kissed Alec back, with a stronger passion than he had felt for a long time. His arms tight around Alec’s waist, pulling at the hem of his gray, ugly hoodie, his hands sliding underneath, mapping Alec’s back. Learning the scarred Shadowhunter skin there, strong and soft and muscled.

And he wanted more, touch more, but he knew he had to let Alec set the pace. Alec had his hands curled in Magnus’s hair, his fingers caressing, his lips moving and his tongue swirling around Magnus’s. After a long time he broke away from Magnus and looked in his eyes. His blue eyes blazing as he smiled widely.

“So?” he finally said. “Coffee?”

“I’d love some,” Magnus replied.

Alec handed him a mug. “I was wondering,” he said. “If you’d like to go out again this Friday?”

“I’d like that,” Magnus said, and he felt it was too much of an understatement. “I’d like that a lot.”

 


	22. What Happened At Taki's

**Fourteenth meet** **\- What happened at Taki's and afterwards**

 _“Magnus remembered the night when he took Alec to_ _Taki’s_ _.”_  

  * The Bane Chronicles, What To Buy The Shadowhunter Who Has Everything, p.323



* * *

**_Alec_ **

  
Magnus was the one who had suggested Taki’s. It had made Alec a bit uncomfortable, because he came here with Jace and Isabelle every once in a while. People might recognize him. Still, he couldn’t find a good enough reason to tell Magnus they should go somewhere else and he decided to go for it, this time. Why not? He knew Jace and Isabelle weren’t going to show up since they had to do a test which he himself had already completed months ago. The three of them were undergoing the same training, but some tests were age related and since Alec was the eldest, it meant he was ahead of them in both training and study. It would only be a couple of days now before he would turn eighteen. Finally an adult, he was looking forward to it.  

Tonight he had the night off without having to look for an excuse to tell Jace and Izzy where he was. So when he met Magnus outside of Taki’s he was relaxed enough and happy to see Magnus, too. The awkwardness that Jace had created last week with his annoying questions was gone now. And Alec felt again as if he could be himself around Magnus. Even though he also knew that he wasn’t being completely open and honest to the warlock. Or to himself for that matter. He didn’t want to think about these confusing things, because every time he did he found it hard to put a name to what he felt. He felt choked and unable to say anything true or meaningful. So he pushed the feelings away. Tonight he was going to have a good time. 

The café was busy and alive with conversation. Alec caught the glance of the waitress, Kaelie, who smiled at him and waved. He smiled back and looked around, noticing there was a peri standing in the middle of the room, his wings fluttering in frustration while he was having some sort of discussion with a burly werewolf. The werewolf had probably stepped on some toes, or some wings. Alec and Magnus walked past them and slid into a booth across from each other. 

Kaelie came over with the menu’s and told them the specials of that day. She was smiling brightly at him again before she turned to go. 

“Do you know her?” asked Magnus. 

“A little,” said Alec. “She’s part nixie. She likes Jace.” 

“Ah, nixie’s. Did I tell you about a nixie nightclub that I’ve been to, once?” Magnus asked and Alec shook his head. “I’ll tell you, it was once and then never again. I came in, the whole place green as the sea. And seaweed, you wouldn’t believe. Drinks were salty, food was salty. At the end of the night I felt I’d change into a salt pillar if I wouldn’t have some water soon. So I saw someone walking by, who was, I believed at that time, just a regular fae, a gentry fae. And I said, ‘Water, I need water.’ So this fae turned around and splashed like a gallon of water out of his mouth over me! I mean, all over me!” 

Alec laughed out loud. Magnus shook his head, looking dramatic. 

“It’s not even the end, I’ll tell you. The fae was a glamoured merman and the water turned out to be salt water!” Magnus threw back his head and laughed which made Alec laugh even harder. Magnus sure had a knack for drama. “Completely soaked and pickled, I was.” He said finally, hiccupping a bit from laughing. Kaelie had come and given them their food while Magnus was still talking and Alec took some fries while he looked up at the sound of a growl.  

The peri and the werewolf were still at it, he saw. That was something he must keep an eye on. Werewolves could be drawn into fights easily. If that peri wanted it, it would probably happen. 

The door opened and three vampires entered, two boys and a girl. Alec recognized one of them as Raphael, the vampire who was there when Clary’s friend became one. They were walking towards them. Raphael, Alec noticed, looked about fifteen years old. He looked into Alec and Magnus’s direction and Alec saw his delicate eyebrows lift up. 

“Nope, nope, nope, and also no,” Raphael said, and he took a few steps back toward the door. “Turn around, everybody. I do not wish to know this. I refuse to be aware of this.” 

The other two vamps had reached their booth and the girl was drumming with her fingernails on the table. “One of the Nephilim,” she said, “My, my.” 

“Hi?” said Alec, starting to feel uncertain. 

“Wait a minute,” said Raphael. “Are you Alexander Lightwood?” 

“Yes?” he said, and he heard the uncertainty in his own answer. He was getting uncomfortable extremely fast under the scrutinizing look of the boy vampire.   

“Aren’t you twelve?” Raphael demanded. “I distinctly recall you being twelve.” 

“Uh, that was a while ago,” said Alec. He was starting to freak out. If Raphael knew him when he was twelve, than that meant he was a higher vampire, a clan leader even. He must have come to the Institute on occasion and talk to his mother or something. That meant he could also report to his mother that he had found her son at Taki’s with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Alec felt his shoulders tense. Why was it so difficult to just have good time today? 

“Leave him alone,” Magnus said suddenly, and reached for Alec’s hand over the table. At the familiar touch of Magnus Alec relaxed and curled his finger’s around Magnus’s. But then he looked up at the vampires staring at them and he snatched his hand away. What was he thinking? This boy could totally tell on him. Vampires weren’t to be trusted. Alec felt mad at himself for not asking Magnus to meet somewhere else. And he didn’t want to snatch his hand away like that, knowing Magnus didn’t like it. 

The vampires still weren’t done, to Alec’s great dismay. The other boy, with a head full of thin dreadlocks smiled down at him. “What would your parents think?” he asked with mock solemnity. Alec felt the color drain from his face. He didn’t know what to say or do when thankfully, Magnus cut in. 

“Elliott,” said Magnus. “You’re boring. And I don’t want to hear that you’ve been telling any tedious tales around the place. Do you understand me?” 

Alec saw Magnus had taken hold of a teaspoon and blue sparks were sparking off his fingers into the spoon and Alec knew the threat Magnus was actually posing on Elliott right know. It was as if he said he’d kill him with a spoon. Alec felt intensely grateful. Grateful that Magnus stood up from him. Grateful that Magnus would let him come back to him every time.  

“Dios,” snapped Raphael, who appeared to have lost his patience or was actually scared of Magnus’s skills with a teaspoon. Alec wasn’t sure. His next words were clearly addressed to Magnus. “I am not interested in your sordid encounters or constantly deranged life choices, and I am certainly not interested in prying into the affairs of Nephilim. I meant what I said. I don’t want to know about this. And I won’t know about this. This never happened. I saw nothing.” He snapped his fingers at the two other vamps and turned around. “Let’s go.” 

Alec felt relieved by what Raphael had said and by the fact that they had left. He turned to his food in silence. Wanting to say something to Magnus, but he couldn’t find any words that were expressing his feelings of both mortification and gratitude. 

In the middle of the club the fight between the peri and the werewolf continued and had moved up to a new level. Alec’s head perked up as he saw the werewolf shout and the first signs of him changing to his wolf form became visible in his face. The peri turned a table upside down with a loud crash and Alec saw Magnus startle at the sound. He didn’t waste a second on thinking but leaped to his feet. He already had his throwing knife out and reached for his weapon belt with his other hand. Moving as fast as he could, he went to stand in front of Magnus, shielding him from the possible danger a changed werewolf could form. He stood up, tall and straight and pulled out a seraph blade. He stretched it out before him, named it "Safariel" and it stood gleaming in the artificial light of the club.  

He saw every single person in the room staring at him and shrinking back. A hushed fear descended on the crowd. He even caught Kaelie gaping at him in awe. The peri stumbled over the fallen table and retreated to the farthest corner of the club. The werewolf stood frozen, paralyzed with fear for what the Shadowhunter in front of him might do. Alec moved the hand with the throwing knife in the direction of the wolf, who shrank back. He held up both his hands in a defensive manner and his face turned back to his human form, eyes huge with dread. “I’m going, I’m going,” he said and stumbled backwards to the door. After he was gone Alec looked around and saw that the peri had already taken the back exit and left. The place was secured. 

Alec turned and slid back into the booth, opposite Magnus, who looked at him with a similar look he had found in Kaelie’s eyes. Awe. The thought of the High Warlock of Brooklyn in awe of him, made him smile an embarrassed smile at Magnus. 

Magnus suddenly stood up and took Alec’s arm, dragging him out of the booth, through the bar until they were outside. There he pushed him up against the wall and kissed him. Alec was overcome with surprise at first, still a little high on adrenaline from the scene in the bar. But Magnus’s lips were soft and urgent on his and he kissed him back passionately. He slid his arms around his back, pushing Magnus’s lanky frame against his body. He never kissed anyone but Magnus, so he didn’t have any reverence, but tonight he felt how well they fit together. How amazingly good it felt to be held like this and kissed like this by this beautiful boy. And Alec gave all of himself over to the kiss, not knowing how to hold back and not wanting to, either. 

“What was that for?” Alec asked after a long time, when they finally broke apart. 

“Nothing,” Magnus replied casually. He took a step back. His cheeks were flushed as he looked at Alec and smiled. He straightened his crumpled shirt and said, “I’m afraid our food has gone cold by now.” 

“We could go home,” Alec suggested and as he said it he realized how stupid it sounded. “I mean, we could go to your home.” He amended. 

Magnus nodded, “Good idea, but I will go in and pay for the food, first.” 

Alec stood against the brick wall catching his breath while Magnus went in to pay. Magnus reappeared only moments later, holding a paper bag. “Kaelie has kept our food warm and wrapped it up to go,” he announced brightly. 

Back in Magnus’s loft in Brooklyn they ate the food and laughed about the peri and the wolf. “You should have seen the looks on their faces,” Magnus chuckled, “I’m sure no one in there doubted you could lay waste to them all.” 

“I don’t know about that,” said Alec, unassuming.  

“I do,” Magnus said and he pulled Alec towards him. Both his hands cupping Alec’s face. “You were like an angel passing out heavens fury. Amazing and beautiful.” 

Alec leaned forward and felt Magnus’s lips touch his. He moved automatically closer to the warlock until their legs touched. His hand was on Magnus’s knee, sliding slowly upward, caressing his thigh. Magnus gasped against his mouth and Alec opened his lips and sucked on Magnus’s lower lip. Magnus’s tongue probed against him and he opened his mouth further to let him in. Magnus was searching his mouth with his tongue. Alec’s hand was now on Magnus’s hip and he pushed himself closer. Magnus slid both his hands around Alec’s back and pulled him on top of him. They went to lie down on the sofa as the kiss deepened and Alec felt the familiar spark of fire blazing inside of him. Magnus under him was all he felt, all that existed now. And all he could ever dream of. He couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do, or anywhere he’d rather be than here with Magnus.  

Magnus turned to his side, making Alec turn too. He was now laying with his back against the back end of the sofa, his arms tightly wrapped around Magnus, to prevent him from rolling to the ground. Magnus snapped his fingers and Alec felt the back end of the sofa retreat, turning it from a couch into a sort of chaise longue, leaving enough room for them to lie next to each other. They laid like that kissing each other, getting to know the feel of the other boy better each second as they were pressed against each other. Alec felt Magnus’s legs against his, his hips, his stomach, his chest. Everywhere they could possibly touch they were touching. He slid his hands underneath Magnus’s shirt and caressed his smooth and lanky back. He felt Magnus’s hand trailing through his hair while they kissed lazily for a long time. 

Alec felt how tired he was. Maybe it was the exertion with the peri and werewolf. Maybe the panic he felt when the vampires were harassing him. Maybe it was because he hadn’t slept that well last night. He felt his eyes close and his hands on Magnus’s back grew still. Magnus broke of the kiss and caressed Alec’s face, his thumb brushing Alec’s cheekbone. “Are you sleepy?” he whispered. Alec opened his eyes and looked at him. He nodded but pressed his lips against Magnus’s again. He did want to sleep, but he wasn’t sleepy enough to stop kissing. He could continue kissing until he fell asleep. He saw no reason why not.  

 


	23. Am I a Keeper?

### Fifteenth meet – Am I a keeper?

_“Alec had fallen asleep twice—on the sofa, not the bed. Once after a long slow night of kissing; and once when Alec had come over for a brief coffee, clearly exhausted after a long day of demon-hunting, and he had slid into unconsciousness almost instantly.”_

  * The Bane Chronicles, What To Buy The Shadowhunter Who Has Everything, p.308



* * *

####  _**Magnus** _

It was almost midnight and Magnus was considering his options. He could call Catarina and invite her over for a nightcap or he could call it a night and go to bed. The last option was the most logical one, considering he was already wearing his pajamas. But something hold him back. He didn’t want to go to sleep yet. He took his phone from his pocket, turning it around in his hands, trying to decide, when it buzzed.

_Magnus. I’m in the neighborhood. Okay to come over for a brief coffee? I can be there in ten. Alec._

Magnus’s face lit up. Alec wanted to come. _Yes!_

A warning voice sounded in his head. _Be careful._ Why would he be so overly enthusiastic to see Alec? It was dangerous. He knew he had to treat his heart as if it were a porcelain bowl. When you let it slip, it breaks. Magnus tried to tell himself that but he couldn’t help but be excited at the idea of seeing Alec. And he was glad Alec had taken his decision away from him, he didn’t mind that at all.

_As always, you’re welcome. The door is open._

He texted Alec back and waited for the ten minutes to pass. If Alec said he’d be there in ten, then that’s what was going to happen. Alec was nothing if not conscientious.

It was only two days ago that Alec had fallen asleep on his sofa, his arms wrapped around Magnus, after a long night of kissing. Magnus didn’t mind to repeat that evening now. Or, if Alec really just wanted a coffee, then that was okay too.

Alec stood in the doorway exactly ten minutes later, looking worse for wear. He was wearing gear, which looked remarkably better on him than those ugly hoodies. But his face was gray from exhaustion and the dark rings under his eyes were profound.

“Are you okay?” Magnus walked hastily over to where Alec stood and put a hand on Alec’s arm, where he noticed a giant rip in the jacket. “Are you hurt? What happened?”

Alec shook his head. “I’m fine, tore the jacket against a gate in the park. Chasing demons.”

Magnus looked through the rip at the exposed skin underneath where there was a big scratch visible. He gently shifted the jacket from Alec’s shoulder and hung it on a peg behind him. Then he moved his hand over Alec’s arm, sending blue sparks of magic into the wound, healing him.

“That’s not necessary,” Alec said, “I can use an _iratze_ for that.”

“It’s nothing, Alexander,” Magnus waved his objection away. “I want you to be okay. You look… tired.” He finally said, not wanting to use a word that might upset Alec or make him think he was looking awful. “Come, sit.”

He took Alec with him to the sofa and set him down. Alec, too tired to protest, did what he was told and laid back his head against a throw pillow. Magnus snapped his fingers to remove Alec’s boots which he barely seemed to notice. Then he went to sit at the end of the couch and pulled Alec down, resting his head on Magnus’s lap. “Now put your feet up,” he coaxed. Alec obediently raised his legs on the couch and Magnus conjured up a blanket and covered him up. He trailed his hands through Alec’s hair. “They make you work too hard,” he muttered.

Alec fluttered his eyes and mumbled something in reply. “Don’t speak,” Magnus whispered, caressing his face, “Just rest. Close your eyes and sleep, Alexander. I will take care of you.”

He didn’t have to say it twice. Alec closed his eyes and within seconds his breathing evened out. Magnus smiled down at the sleeping Shadowhunter in his lap. With a snap of his fingers he moved the ottoman in front of the sofa and stretched his own legs out in front of him. _This was going to be a wonderful night_ , he thought while he closed his eyes, his hands still in Alec’s hair. _And_ , he added as an afterthought, _unconscious people couldn’t break porcelain bowls_.

* * *

 

####  _Alec_

When Alec woke up he instantly knew he wasn’t in his own bed. He was curled up on his side and his nose was pressed against something he couldn’t immediately place. It was soft and warm, but not like a pillow. He heard the rise and fall of someone breathing and felt the movement through the body he was lying on and he remembered. He’d fallen asleep on Magnus’s lap. He opened his eyes and looked up to see Magnus lying back against the sofa, his eyes closed, sleeping. A ray of early sunlight spilled through the curtain, casting shadow’s on Magnus’s face. Alec sat up slowly, stretching his arms. Careful not the wake Magnus. He realized he didn’t feel stiff or painful, even though he had his head in Magnus’s lap all night. He had slept better than he ever did in his own bed. He wondered if it was something Magnus did that had made him sleep that well. Or maybe it was just his presence that made him calm and peaceful. Chairman Meow paddled over and jumped on the couch. Alec took him in his arms and got up. “Shh,” he whispered to the cat, “You’ll wake Magnus.”

Alec walked to the kitchen with the cat, and let him go there. He noticed he was wearing socks, his shoes were standing neatly next to the apartment door. Did he take them off last night? He remembered little after coming here, exhausted as he had been. Wasn’t there something with his arm? He reached with his hand for his upper arm and found a gaping hole in his shirt. Ah, yes, he remembered now. There had been a scratch and Magnus had healed him. He smiled at the thought of Magnus healing him, not wanting him to be in any pain. He took out his phone and checked the time. Seven in the morning. He slept the whole night through then. High time for breakfast.

The coffee maker was waiting patiently for him as he added beans and water to the machine. He pushed the button and went in search for breakfast in Magnus’s fridge. He found a box of eggs, some cheese and bacon and decided to go for bacon and eggs for breakfast. Sunny side up, his favorite. While the eggs were frying he took two plates and buttered some toast. Chairman Meow came towards him, wailing loudly. “Are you hungry, too?” Alec asked. He squatted down and petted the cat. “I will find you something to eat, okay?”

He searched through the cupboards, all the while casting glances to the living room, where Magnus was still sound asleep. Magnus didn’t do strict regimes or early risings. Everything here was much more laid back and mellow. It made it possible for Alec to unwind, which he really appreciated. Certainly at mornings like these, after nights of exhausting demon hunting. He felt he could get used to this, this life in the loft in Brooklyn. It was a ridiculous thought, he chided himself. He was only here as long as Magnus would let him. And who knew when the warlock would grow tired of him. Magnus was a fickle human being. His moods could change so fast, it was hard to predict him. And Alec couldn’t read him. He knew Magnus liked him to some extent, but what that really entailed, he had no idea. He didn’t know his own heart either, truth be told. He felt he was swimming in uncertainty. A part of him was hoping that adulthood was going to clear the fog in his head. Adults seemed to be so put together. To know it all. Although that was not entirely true either.

Alec shook his head to clear it and found the cat food. He put some of it in a bowl and gave it to the Chairman. The cat started munching down the food. Alec turned back to the eggs which were about finished. He turned off the stove just as he heard a sound. Magnus had woken up and was walking into the kitchen. He was wearing cobalt blue pajamas and over it a golden knitted vest. He looked as if he had just woken up, fresh as spring, young and striking.

“Good morning,” Magnus said, smiling at him and regarding the scene. “Did you sleep well?” He walked over to the small bar that was attached to the counter and slid on a stool.

“I slept amazing,” Alec smiled back, “And I made breakfast. Do you like eggs? I made them sunny side up.”

He placed two steaming mugs of coffee on the breakfast bar and the two plates with toast. Then he turned to the stove to retrieve the frying pan and showed its content to Magnus.

“That looks yummy,” Magnus said, “I didn’t know you could make breakfast!”

“Ah, but there are so many things you don’t know about me,” Alec smiled a lopsided grin at Magnus and tilted his head a bit.

Magnus laughed. “Very true. I do intent to get to know them. And I love sunny side up.”

“Are you sure?” Alec said, not wanting to force Magnus to eat anything he didn’t like just because he made it for him. “Because I can scramble some or make an omelet?”

“I like eggs for breakfast in any form they come,” Magnus said, “And sunny side up is one of my favorites. I love the gooey yoke, that’s my best part.”

“Mine, too,” Alec agreed and put the eggs from the pan onto Magnus’s plate and on his own. Then he sat down next to Magnus. “I’m starving.” He said and he dug into his food, wolfing it down.

Magnus regarded him for a moment and started eating. “It’s good,” he commented. “And might I add that I love waking up to the smell of coffee. That machine was the best purchase I made in years.”

Chairman Meow was apparently offended because he let out a loud wail as he bumped against Magnus’s foot. Magnus looked down at the cat, amused. “Yes, you were a very good purchase, too, Chairman.” His eye fell on the now empty bowl on the kitchen floor. “And you fed my cat?” he asked Alec in surprise.

“He seemed hungry,” Alec explained.

Magnus beamed at him. “Aren’t you a keeper?” He said and he took another bite of egg, his cat eyes shining at Alec.

Alec felt his heart jump, involuntarily, and a nervous twist in his stomach. Was he a keeper?

 

“I was thinking,” Magnus said, after finishing breakfast, “That you might be in need of a toothbrush and some toothpaste if you keep waking up here.”

Alec felt the blood rise to his cheeks as he got up and brought the plates to the sink. “What- uhm, why?” He stammered.

Magnus laughed. “Because it is nice to brush your teeth after breakfast, right?”

“Oh, yes,” Alec felt stupid thinking Magnus might meant to insult him, which was obviously not the case.

“So,” Magnus said, snapping his fingers, “Is this your brand?”

At the counter appeared a green toothbrush with a tube of Crest Pro-Health toothpaste next to it. Alec couldn’t help but grin as he shook his head.

“No?  But it’s a good one,” Magnus said as he snapped again. “This one, then?”

Magnus changed the tube with a Colgate tube and Alec shook his head again, laughing. Magnus rapidly changed the brands, all different types of Colgate and Aquafresh while Alec kept shaking his head and finally held up his hand.

“Magnus, just a quick suggestion from my part. Why don’t you _ask_ me what brand I use?” He quirked up his eyebrows, a smile playing around his mouth. “Don’t you think that would be a much more efficient method.”

“I do like to be efficient,” Magnus replied, while he continued to change the tube. “Okay, I give up. I’m sure it’s one of those cheap supermarket brands your mother buys you. I’m telling you, you’re getting to old to let your mother buy your toothpaste.”

“I use Sensodyne whitening,” Alec said, a little offended. “And I have you know that I do buy my own toothpaste. As well as my own cologne and shampoo.” He mocked frowned at Magnus who laughed and changed the paste one last time.

“Sensodyne whitening it is,” he said, “So, that’s the secret to your white teeth. I thought you used a rune for it.”

“We don’t have runes for everything,” Alec replied. He took the toothpaste and the brush and headed for the bathroom. “But thanks for this,” he called over his shoulder as he closed the bathroom door behind him.

Inside he regarded himself in the mirror, amazed to see a smile on his face, his eyes alive and sparkling. _Am I a keeper?_

 

 


	24. Alec's Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter has sexual content  
> Read this story from Magnus's POV here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10450020

**Sixteenth Meet - Alec's Birthday  
**

_The buzzer rang. Magnus pressed the button to let him enter, speechless for a moment because he had wanted Alec there, so badly, and here he was. It felt more like magic than anything he could do._

  * The Bane Chronicles, What to Buy the Shadowhunter Who has Everything, p. 338



* * *

 

_**Alec** _

It had been a fine birthday, just fine. Like any other birthday. With presents in the morning and his mom cooking his favorite dish for dinner. It felt good to be eighteen. To be an adult, officially. Part of the Clave. A Shadowhunter. Starting today Alec would draw a salary from the Clave. He could move out of his parents house if he wanted. Live on his own. Or travel to other Institute’s in the world. He didn’t want any of that, but it was nice to know he had options. It was a fine birthday, just fine, but not good enough. Alec had a nagging feeling all day, that he wanted to be somewhere else. In a loft in Brooklyn, to be exact.

They had noodles for dinner. Alec requested it because he knew Max liked it. Max had been ecstatic about it, but, as usual, more focused on Jace than on him. He was a typical older brother for Max, telling him to clean his room and study for his Rune test. But Jace… Max adored Jace. It had been like that since Jace had moved in with them when he was ten. Alec was okay with it, he was used to Jace getting all the attention. Used to looking at Jace himself as well, without Jace really looking back, really seeing him. Jace was too preoccupied with his own problems to see any of Alec’s.

Alec knew it was like that between them, but today he felt himself think of Magnus a lot. Magnus, who did look at him, who did see him. He still didn’t understand why the warlock saw him, why he wanted to be with him. And it wasn’t that Magnus was actually saying he wanted to be with him. But on some level Alec could sense it. Today more than ever. As if he heard a siren call from Magnus. It was crazy, Alec told himself. The warlock would probably be working and not expecting him. He was sure Magnus didn’t know it was his birthday today. He had told him, but that was two weeks ago and a lot had happened in between. Magnus would have probably forgotten by now. And yet, Alec felt a strong urge to go and see him. To be with him. And why not? It was his birthday after all, he should do what he wanted on it.

After dinner Izzy suggested going out for drinks. Jace was all for it and Alec decided it was as good an idea as any. Dumping Jace and Izzy in a bar was easier than having to come up with some lame excuse why he was leaving the Institute on his own birthday. After one drink, Izzy had thrown herself into the thick of people on the dance floor. Jace was staring into his glass moodily. Normally he would try to hit on a girl on nights like these, but he didn’t seem into that anymore. Not since Clary came along.

Alec felt flustered, balancing on the edge of the barstool, trying to find a way to get up and leave. He didn’t know how to answer questions Jace might ask about where he was going. But he wanted to see Magnus, instead of spending an evening with a morose Jace who was barely talking.

He took the last sip out of his glass and decided to plainly tell Jace he was leaving. Jace nodded and kept staring into his glass. Alec wasn’t even sure if he had heard him. He sighed and turned around, but just has he was walking away he felt Jace’s hand on his upper arm.

“Hey Alec,” Jace said, and Alec turned to him, surprised. “Happy birthday, man.” Jace gave him a hug and shooed him away. “Now, go.” He grinned widely, making Alec’s heart jump.

Alec couldn’t help it, he still had feelings for his parabatai. Although lately, he did find he was thinking less and less about him in that way. Instead he found he was mostly worried for him. Jace seemed to be constantly suicidal. It hurt, honestly. Because evidently he, Alec, wasn’t an important enough reason for Jace to take care of himself.

He smiled back at Jace and walked out of the bar, shaking off the feeling of unease Jace gave him. He hailed a cab to Brooklyn and found himself in front of Magnus’s loft about half an hour later. A feeling of nerves and anticipation flared up in the pit of his stomach, at the idea of seeing Magnus.

The downstairs door was closed, which surprised Alec. Magnus had said he would keep it open for him, and Alec only had a key for the front door. He felt a surge of panic, thinking Magnus might not even be home. The idea of going back to an empty Institute instead seemed awful, especially since he was so looking forward to seeing Magnus. He pulled out his phone and called him, nervously hopping from one foot to the other while the phone rang. At the second ring Magnus answered.

“Hey,” Alec said.

“Why are you calling?” Magnus asked, he sounded worried which didn’t do much good to Alec’s nerves.

“Um, I can call another time,” Alec said, feeling unsettled. “I’m sure you have better things to do—”

“Of course I don’t, Alexander,” Magnus replied and Alec’s heart jumped, he felt an intense relief. “I was just surprised to hear from you. I imagined that you would be with your family on the big day.”

“Oh,” Alec was surprised and pleased. “I didn’t expect you to remember.”

“It might have crossed my mind once or twice during the day,” said Magnus. “So have you been having a wonderful Shadowhunting time? Did someone give you a giant axe in a cake? Where are you, off to celebrate?”

“Er,” said Alec. “I’m kind of . . . outside your apartment?”

He lifted his hand to the buzzer and almost instantly the door opened. Alec put his phone away and took the steps two at the time. At the second floor landing Magnus was standing in his doorway. He was barefoot, wearing maroon leather pants and a cowl neck sweater that seemed to be glittering and fitted him very well, hugging to Magnus’s skin at all the right places. He looked dazzling and Alec felt his face light up at the sight of the warlock.

“I wanted to see you,” he said as he came to a stand in front of Magnus. “Is this okay? I can go away if you’re busy or anything.”

Magnus looked at him in wonder, as if he were an unexpected present, delivered at his doorstep. He reached for the strings on Alec’s hoodie and pulled him closer. “I think,” said Magnus huskily, “that I could be persuaded to clear my schedule.”

Alec leaned in and kissed him. He kissed him with an intensity he didn’t expect. He had been thinking about Magnus all day, and now he was here with him. It made him happier than he thought was possible. He slid his arms around the lanky frame of the warlock, pulling him closer as their mouths moved against each other. When they broke away he rested his forehead against Magnus’s.

“Happy birthday, Alexander,” Magnus said softly.

“Thanks for remembering,” Alec whispered back.

Magnus pulled him into the loft. Alec noticed a faint smell of sulfur. “Sorry about the smell,” Magnus said. “It was a terrible day at the office.”

He flicked his fingers and the room filled with an aroma of sandalwood and fresh air. “Ah, much better,” Magnus said, he turned around and looked at Alec with amusement. “You want a drink?”

“Sure,” Alec replied and he went to sit down on the sofa, after he’d taken off his shoes. Magnus handed him a glass of wine and hopped on the couch next to him.

“Did you have a nice birthday?” Magnus inquired while sipping from his wine. Alec told him about the gifts and his mom cooking noodles, Max’s excitement about that, and going out for drinks with Jace and Izzy. “And then I realized I wanted to see you,” he added, a bit shy, “So I dumped them and took a cab to Brooklyn.”

“I’m glad,” Magnus said and smiled.

After finishing their second glass of wine, Magnus bent towards him and kissed him softly on the mouth. “It’s getting late,” he whispered against Alec’s lips, “Do you want to stay over?”

“I’d love to,” Alec whispered, feeling a nervous flutter of anticipation at Magnus’s question. Magnus leaned back and looked at him, a hint of excitement in his eyes. Then he stood up and took Alec’s hand. “Come with me.”

Alec followed Magnus to the bedroom. Magnus led him to the bed and they sat down on it. Alec felt his stomach flip and his heart stutter in his chest as Magnus leaned towards him. They had been in Magnus’s bedroom together before, but never like this. Never with the intention to undress and lay down in the bed together.

Magnus’s lips touched his and Alec kissed him back eagerly, his hands sliding around the warlock. Without thinking he laid back on the bed, pulling Magnus on top of him. Their lips parted and their tongues met, searching, swirling. Passionately they moved against each other, pressing hard to be closer still. Alec slid his hands under Magnus’s sweater, roaming them over his back as Magnus trailed a line of kisses down his neck. Alec was breathing hard and pulled on Magnus’s sweater, willing to get it off. Magnus sat up and took it off in one smooth motion and their mouths collided once more. Alec roamed his hands over Magnus’s back, eager to get to know him. The smooth line of his shoulder blades, his small waist, the knuckles of his spine. Alec traced patterns over it and then moved his hands to Magnus’s front. His chest, his flat stomach. Everything he felt was Magnus.

The sensation had begun to fire through him, every nerve standing out. To touch like this. To be touched like this. It was unlike anything he ever felt and he still wanted more. To take off every single piece of clothing that was still between them, feeling the touch of his own skin against Magnus’s. Magnus had his hands under his shirt now, fingers digging in his side. Alec moved his arms up and Magnus, understanding his intention, drew his hands upwards over Alec’s bare skin, taking off Alec’s shirt in the movement.

Alec flipped Magnus off of him and laid him on his back. Magnus pulled him down on top of him, his arms around him, roaming over Alec’s back, tracing his battle scars. Alec bowed his head and kissed Magnus’s jaw and then down over his throat to the base of his neck where he sucked hard on the sensitive skin, leaving a mark. Magnus moaned at the touch, which made the fire inside Alec blaze to a new level. He wanted him so badly. He felt his cock twitch inside his briefs, as he almost attacked Magnus’s mouth.

Magnus didn’t hold back himself, sliding his hands down Alec’s back and into his jeans. Alec felt his fingers touching his butt, and he rocked his hips into Magnus in reply. Magnus’s hands traveled to Alec’s hips, and he pushed him down, encouraging the motion, and Alec thrust against him hard. And he felt it, Magnus’s erection through his tight leather pants. Alec thought he was going to explode into a thousand parts or melt from the inside out. He was breathing heavily as Magnus broke off the kiss and reached between them for the buckle of Alec’s belt.

“I can feel you want it,” he whispered, “But say the word and I’ll stop.”  

Alec nodded, staring into Magnus’s shining eyes. “Don’t stop.”

Magnus rolled Alec around, so he was lying on his back now, Magnus next to him. Then his fingers were on Alec’s belt. With a swift motion he opened it and unbuttoned Alec’s jeans. Alec felt his body freeze in anticipation, and Magnus looked at him, questioning. _Is this okay?_ Alec nodded, and put his hand on Magnus’s back, urging him to go on. Magnus’s slender hand reached inside Alec’s pants, under the waistband of his shorts and with a swift movement he slid the fabric down over Alec’s legs and with a thud Alec’s pants fell on the floor.

Alec barely had the time to register that he was lying naked in someone else’s bed when he felt Magnus’s fingers curl around his cock. He arched his back and closed his eyes at the overwhelming feeling of someone else’s hand on him. Magnus bent over and kissed his closed eyes and his lips as his hand started to move over Alec’s length. Slowly at first, but then with more swiftness and pressure. And Alec felt himself explode and explode, with every movement every explosion bigger and grander than the first. Until there was nothing left to explode anymore and he fell apart, shuddering, with a loud moan, pushing his head back in the mattress, his fingers clenching Magnus’s back.

Magnus let go of him then and the next thing he felt was a wiping motion of paper towel over his stomach. He opened his eyes and saw Magnus cleaning him conscientiously and smiling up at him.

“How was it?” he asked. Alec stared back incredulously. How was he supposed to answer that?

“It was…,” he was looking for a word that could describe it, all the while trying to get his breathing under control, but he found none that really fit. “Incredible,” he finally said.

“Good.” Magnus grinned widely and leaned forward, pressing a kiss on Alec’s lips. “You were amazing,” he said, “Thank you.”

“What are you thanking _me_ for?” Alec asked, feeling uncertain. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus chided him softly, “Don’t be so incredibly self-conscious. What did you think? That this making out session is some charity work from my part? Trust me when I say I am immensely enjoying myself with you.”

Alec sighed, relieved, and smiled at Magnus then. Magnus’s eyes twinkled. “There it is!” he beamed, “When you smile, you have no idea. It does things to me.”

Alec couldn’t help but smile even wider at that. He wasn’t used to getting compliments like that, but Magnus handed them out to him with a generosity he really appreciated.

He reached for Magnus and kissed him, moving his arms around him and pulling him closer. The kiss deepened and Alec rolled Magnus on top of him, his hands roaming over the warlock’s back and over the fabric of his pants. He wanted to take them off and return the favor Magnus had done for him. He was so curious about how it would feel to hold Magnus in his hand, to look at him and touch him like that. He was uncertain about how to proceed but then decided to copy what Magnus had done. Just turn him around and unbutton his pants, he could do that.

As he rolled Magnus to his back, his hands reached for Magnus’s pants, but he looked into his eyes. Magnus’s eyes were dark with passion, which was all the encouragement Alec needed. His fingers worked the buttons open and he pulled off the tight leather pants which took a little effort. He saw Magnus’s erection in his black designer boxer shorts and couldn’t help but stare. He reached for the waistband and moved the shorts over Magnus’s legs, leaving the warlock naked. His cock stood up straight and Alec swallowed at the sight of it. Magnus drew in a breath when Alec wrapped his slender hand around his erection.

This was the first time he was extremely grateful for being gay, Alec realized. He knew what to do now, while with a girl he would be totally helpless. His hand closed tightly around Magnus, and he moved, first slow, then faster in a steady rhythm. His eyes fixed on the movement. It was incredibly hot, and Alec started to appreciate Magnus’s comment from earlier. Because he, too, was immensely enjoying himself. Magnus’s breathing became louder with every move and Alec sped up his rhythm until Magnus moaned loudly and came, covering his stomach with the sticky release.

Alec looked up at Magnus’s face now, the warlock opened his eyes and looked back. “Come here,” he whispered and pulled Alec to him. Magnus pressed his lips on Alec’s and kissed him hard. “You are wonderful,” he said when he finally let go. “I hope you know that, Alexander.”

Magnus snapped his fingers and wanted to wipe himself clean with the paper towel he conjured up, but Alec grabbed his wrist and took the towel from him. “I’ll do that,” he said in a low voice. He bend over Magnus’s body and carefully wiped the towel over his abdomen. When he was done he trailed his hand over Magnus’s completely flat stomach, unmarked with a belly button. “I like it,” he said, tapping a rhythm with his fingers, “No belly button.”

Magnus laughed at that. “You do? Well, that’s good, I suppose.”

Then he pushed back the comforter and pulled Alec with him in bed. Alec wrapped his arms around him and rested his head against Magnus. He felt more content than he had for a long, long time. Magnus curled up against him and fell asleep, but Alec stayed awake a little longer, staring at the ceiling. Thinking how his birthday had turned out to be much more than just fine.

He felt his eyes close and he slipped away to a dream land. In there the green-golden eyes he saw slowly changed to amber, blazing in Jace’s beautiful face. He startled awake, his eyes opened wide. Confusion took away the satisfied feelings from only minutes ago. He felt scared, suddenly, a feeling of foreboding came over him. What would happen in the morning? If he left this bed and this house and go back to the Institute to see Jace again? Would what have happened tonight change things for him? Did it change anything? He felt choked and uncertain. Afraid also of what Magnus would think, how long Magnus would stay around while he was still denying him.

_Can you endure while I swim in uncertainty?_

_Will you be there when I surface?_

 


	25. It Hurts Like Hell, Alexander

**Seventeenth Meet - It hurts like hell, Alexander**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

Magnus had been floating on a pink cloud all day. This morning he had woken up in Alec’s arms. Alec had been awake already. He had kissed him, made coffee for him and breakfast. Then he had to leave. To do his usual training and other important Shadowhunter stuff. Magnus felt he lived a dream. A little drunk on love, maybe. He had missed an appointment with a client today and he mixed a wrong potion for another client. He wanted hair growth and Magnus had given him that, but he realized only after the guy had left that he mixed up unicorn hair and fairy hair in the mixture, which would probably lead to some weird outcomes. Oh well, Magnus couldn’t be bothered with it. The guy could come back if he wasn’t satisfied with Magnus’s work. Magnus would give him a new potion, free of charge. Or maybe not free of charge. Who cares. 

All Magnus could care about and think about was Alec. Alec showing up at his door yesterday when he had wanted him to come all day. How he had longed for it. And how it seemed like magic that Alec had actually shown up. And the amazing night that followed. He remembered Alec’s touch, Alec’s lips on his. Every memory sending a new shiver down his spine. He felt it in the very core of his being. And he admitted to himself that this was love. Unexpected, beautiful and invigorating love. A love that made him soar. He was actually contemplating conjuring up a real pink cloud so he could take up his residence there, somewhere halfway between the floor and the ceiling would be a good place.  

Halfway through the day his phone buzzed. As Magnus flipped it open his heart lifted. A message from Alec. Even small things as messages from Alec had this impact on him. He shook his head at himself. Four hundred years old, and he could still act like a small child. Well, it was one of the things he loved about himself. He read the message, his heart beating in his chest. 

 _I had the best birthday ever. Thanks so much. Alec_  

Magnus smiled a smile that felt too big for his face as he typed a message back. 

 _You’re welcome, Alexander. Your birthday was grand. Come by soon._  

Alec replied almost instantly, and still Magnus felt he had to wait too long for it. 

 _I could come tonight. If that’s okay with you?_  

If that’s okay with you? Magnus felt his heart contract that Alec still felt the need to ask. He wanted to reassure him. To tell him that it was always okay with him. That he didn’t want anything else but for Alec to come. That, if it were up to him, Alec would pack his bags and move in with him today. He knew he couldn’t tell Alec that, but he wanted to tell him something. He suddenly felt insecure. Could he tell Alec what he felt? Their relationship was only a few weeks old. Just last week Magnus had to snap Alec unconscious to prevent him from coming out to his parents. Alec had become a little bolder. Kissing in the alley next to Taki’s. Staying over at Magnus’s house. But did that mean Alec was ready for declarations of love? He was not sure.  

Alec was still hung up on Jace. Or at least, Magnus thought Alec was hung up on Jace. Alec was deluding himself, Magnus knew. He would never have a chance of living his life like he should if he didn’t come clean about who he was. To himself and to others. It was the only way to break free from that impossible crush. Magnus sighed deep but texted Alec back that he was always welcome. Deluded or not. Of course that last part he didn’t add in the message. 

Alec finally came around ten in the evening. Magnus’s pink cloud had been turned a little gray for worrying in the mean time. But when he heard the keys in the door his heart jumped nonetheless. And then Alec was there, looking beautiful. Wearing his ugly clothes and his gorgeous smile, his face lighting up at the sight of Magnus. Magnus stood up and walked towards him, trying not to go too fast. But Alec closed the gap between them with two long strides and then his arms were there and he pulled Magnus against him and kissed him. In an instant Magnus felt himself float. His body going pliant in Alec’s arms. _Oh, I love you._   

He kissed Alec back, sliding his arms around the tall Shadowhunter, wanting to be closer to him. He felt the nervous flutters in his stomach, his nerves on end, the hairs in his neck prickle. He felt so much in that single moment, he wanted to cry out to the world. _I’M IN LOVE WITH ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD._ Maybe later, he could go stand on the balcony and do just that. 

They broke apart and Magnus stared into Alec’s eyes and reveled in them. The blue stood out even bluer today. Electric. Fueled by passion. Alec smiled a shy and beautiful smile. 

Magnus let go of him then. “You want something to drink?” he asked. 

Alec nodded, but then the phone in the pocket of his jacket started to ring. “Sorry,” Alec said, “Do you mind if I answer?” 

“Of course not,” Magnus answered, although he was a bit scared the person on the other end of the line would call Alec away from him. 

Away from him. 

“Jace!” Alec said, as he answered his phone and Magnus was suddenly caught off guard. The way Alec spoke Jace’s name, the way it flickered in his eyes. It felt as a sign of impending doom. 

Magnus walked to the sofa and sat down, watching Alec through slitted eyes. Jace was talking now, and loud enough for Magnus to hear. “Where are you? At Magnus’s?” 

“No,” Alec replied, sounding indignant. “I’m just-, I’m walking around.” 

Alec had his head bowed, staring at the floor. His shoulders hunched. And Magnus felt it then. Impending doom. He had worried about Alec today. About him deluding himself. But now Magnus felt it was the other way around. Magnus was the one who had deluded himself. Into thinking that what they had actually meant something to Alec. Something real and significant. Not something to deny and to lie about to his best friend. 

Magnus felt he couldn’t look at Alec anymore and stared down at his own hands. He saw they trembled a bit. There was a cold pain starting to spread from his chest to his limbs where there was comfortable warmth just minutes before. Magnus shivered. What was happening to him? 

Alec was pleading with Jace that he really didn’t feel like going out tonight. Jace replied something about going to Idris soon and then they wouldn’t have a chance for a while. The Shadowhunters were scheduled to leave for Idris on Friday. Magnus had received a call from Maryse on Monday with the request of making a Portal for them.  

The cold spread and Magnus bit his lip. What was he supposed to do now? He wanted to shout at Alec, but he knew he shouldn’t. Better not let him know that he was hurt by Alec’s denial. Better let him believe that he didn’t care. If Alec were to break his heart, he couldn’t stop him from doing it. But he could make sure Alec believed there was nothing to break to begin with. 

Alec was trying to cut the phone call short as Magnus came to his decision. “Look Jace, I have to go. I have to talk to someone.” 

He hung up the phone and looked at Magnus, remorseful. Magnus stood up, standing tall, towering over Alec. He tilted his head a little and regarded him. “So. If you’re not at Magnus’s, pray tell me who I am? Just someone, evidently?” 

“Magnus, I’m sorry-” Alec began but Magnus held his hands up, stopping him midsentence. 

“Save your apologies, Alec. They are no use to me,” he said and he could hear the ice in his voice. 

Alec looked genuinely hurt but he didn’t say anything. 

“When are you going to stop deluding yourself and everyone around you?” Magnus said. 

“I thought you weren’t going to push me?” Alec began. 

“I’m not pushing you, I’m asking you a question.” Magnus started to feel angry now. “Here you are, standing in _my_ house, standing right in front of me. And you’re lying in. my. face.” He emphasized the last three words heavily, his voice rising. 

“I’m not,” Alec stammered, his hands were in his hair. “I’m not lying in your face.” 

“Just stop it,” Magnus said, his voice dropping low. He felt as if all his energy was seeping out of him and he wasn't able to put a halt to it. “Stop lying.” 

“You _are_ pushing me. You’re telling me what to do. I can’t stop lying. I can’t do it.” Alec sounded so desperate and forlorn, it broke Magnus’s heart. It was the fact that it was necessary for Alec to lie, to not be himself that hurt Magnus the most. He didn’t know if he could stand by and watch that any longer. 

“I’m not telling you what to do. You don’t have to stop lying,” Magnus amended, a softer tone to his voice now. He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. “But you are deluding yourself. And I’m getting really tired of it.” 

He turned around, making to walk to the kitchen. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Alec asked softly. 

“I’m not going to tell you what you should do,” Magnus replied, turning his body slightly, he looked over his shoulder. Alec was staring at him, looking incredibly sad. “Leave if you want, run after your parabatai whenever he calls on you. Or stay. You figure it out.” 

He walked into the kitchen where he took a bottle of vodka from his liquor cabinet. He was looking for a glass while listening intently to the sounds in the living room. He was scared for what Alec would do. He heard him take a step and then stand still again. Magnus held in his breath, everything seemed to have fallen into silence. Then there was a sound of footsteps on his carpet, Alec was turning, walking, leaving. The bang of his door in its lock felt like a final sentence and with it Magnus felt his heart shatter in a thousand pieces. He dropped the glass and felt his knees buckle. He went to the floor and buried his head in his arms. He heard himself let out a single cry of pain and frustration. Because Alec had left. And it hurt. 

 _It hurts like hell_  

 _Alexander_  


	26. City of Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In City of Glass I start with telling two separate stories. One where Alec is in Idris with Jace and Jace is provoking him, making him realize he's not really in love with him. The other is where Magnus goes to Idris because Ragnor Fell is killed by Sebastian. In the coming chapters I'm telling both these stories before turning to their next meet, on that fateful night when Alicante was under attack and Max was killed. Max's death will get more attention than Cassandra has given it. There's going to be some heartbreak and drama and also sexual content, consider yourself warned. Also, I've used dialogue from Cassandra Clare's City of Glass. So, disclaimer, I own nothing, Cassandra owns everything. Thank you so much for reading and leaving comments, that means the world to me!! <3

 

 ** _Alec_**  

Don’t try to change me 

Don’t push me 

Can’t you see it’s killing me 

I want to be who I am 

Will you let me 

Please let me 

Don’t walk away from me 

I think I love you 

 

You make me brave 

* * *

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

When you feel empty 

I will fill you 

When you are afraid 

I will hold you 

When you cry 

I will wipe away your tears 

When you are broken 

I will fix you 

When you walk away 

I will come after you 

 

You make me strong 

 

 


	27. The Portal

**Eighteenth Meet**  
 

 ** _Alec_**  

 _You figure it out._  

 _When are you going to stop_ _deluding yourself and everyone around you?_  

Magnus’s words were still ringing in his ears. Couldn’t he see it was killing him? This delusion he had to keep up for so long now. He didn’t know how to deal with it. He didn’t know how to deal with his own feelings. Alec had stood there in the loft watching Magnus walk away and he didn’t know what to do. He left the apartment eventually. Magnus’s last words sounded to him as if he really didn’t care less what Alec would do. Magnus was obviously done with him. So Alec had left. There was a dull ache in his chest as he descended the stairs. How was he going to fix this? 

He had tried calling Magnus a couple of hours later. There was no answer. That night he tossed and turned in bed. Thinking about Jace and what he felt for him. And thinking about Magnus. It was confusing. They didn’t go well together in his head, Jace and Magnus. In the morning he had called Magnus again, leaving a message on his answering machine, asking him to call back. He hadn’t. Alec had felt a constant pull to go to Brooklyn and talk to the warlock, but the look in Magnus’s eyes during that talk had kept him back. It had been cold as ice.  

Day passed into night and still there was no word from Magnus. No message, nothing but dead silence. In the evening, after he was done packing for Idris he called again. The phone rang and rang, as if there was no one at the other end of it. With a deep sigh Alec shut his phone and laid down on his bed. 

In the morning he checked his phone without hope. No missed calls, no messages. He dialed again, listening, hoping to hear Magnus’s familiar voice at the other end. It was no use. Obviously Magnus was avoiding him. He wondered if this was the point where he had to accept that it was over between them. He found he didn’t want that. Maybe, he told himself, he could give me another chance? It couldn’t be that there was nothing left between them. Thinking back at that night on his birthday, Alec felt the heat in his stomach  creeping up and blush his cheeks. That wasn’t nothing, was it? Alec thought he couldn’t bare it if it was. Then again, maybe for Magnus it was nothing. For all he knew Magnus had probably done something similar with another boy a thousand times over. The thoughts confused him as he went around in circles, trying to convince himself that what was between them was important for Magnus, too. 

Then he remembered that today was the day they were leaving for Idris and he’ll see Magnus at the Portal. But they wouldn't be alone. His whole family would be there and he couldn’t talk to Magnus without raising suspicion. Alec sighed deeply and wondered if he was ever going to be brave enough to speak up to them and tell them the truth. One day, maybe? But not today. 

* * *

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

Magnus’ phone lit up and Alec’s name appeared on the caller ID. It must have been about the tenth time Alec tried to call in the last two days, but Magnus had no inclination to answer. If Alec wasn’t willing to acknowledge their relationship, he wasn’t willing to answer the phone. 

He was scared that Alec would ask him another one of his countless favors. He was scared he would cave in as soon as he heard Alec’s voice. He had to guard his heart. Because it hurt too much. And truthfully, he was a bit angry too. He was quite sick of Alec only wanting him around when he needed him, and pretending there was nothing between them at other moments. It was painful.  

Thinking back on Alec wrapped around him, he shivered. He had already admitted to himself that he was falling for the guy. But he hadn’t realized how far gone he was. How irreparably, irrevocably in love. Totally hung up on the gorgeous blue-eyed Shadowhunter. He actually, physically missed him. He wanted nothing more than repeat what had happened on Alec’s birthday in his apartment. Just thinking about it, about Alec’s touch, Alec’s lips on his, made his heart jump and his stomach flutter. And he was reminded of his own fear at the beginning of this relationship, that Alexander Lightwood would break his heart. And although Alec hadn’t officially broken off their relationship, when he walked out on him the other day, it did feel like it. And it hadn’t felt like his heart was breaking. It felt as if it was shattered. Shattered into tiny little pieces. And all just because Alec wasn’t ready to come out and acknowledge that his crush on Jace was nothing but a safety net.

A part of Magnus said to have patience. Alec was still very young, and Magnus couldn’t even remember how it was when he was young, since that was almost four hundred years ago. Alec will come around, he told himself. But then again, maybe he would not. Magnus was very afraid that he would not. So Magnus decided ignoring him was the best tactic, even though it took him every ounce of willpower he could muster. 

This afternoon though, there was no chance of avoiding him, since Magnus was called by the Institute to create a Portal to Idris. He came at the Institute around twelve thirty to find Maryse Lightwood awaiting him there. He caught her looking down at his rainbow colored leather pants with some disdain and couldn’t suppress a grin. As if he cared what her opinion was on his clothing. She didn’t comment on it, instead showed him where to make the Portal, against a mossy wall of the Institute. As he was working on it, he saw Alec approaching, with Isabelle and a small boy, about nine years old. His younger brother, Max. Magnus knew Alec was fond of his younger brother, he had told him plenty about Max during their dates and the time he spent at Magnus’s house. He glanced at the boy, curious to see if he looked anything like Alec. Max had brown hair, lighter than his siblings and his eyes were brown too. He wore glasses and looked serious, older than his age. That was the only similarity Magnus could find. Alec, too, seemed older than his age in some ways, although he was young and innocent in many others. 

The three of them stopped in front of him and Maryse turned to her eldest son. “You have everything? Where’s Jace?” 

“He’ll be here in a moment,” Alec replied to his mother.  

Magnus tried to ignore the small talk behind his back and focused on the Portal runes. Yet hearing Alec talk, and knowing he was so close to him and yet unreachable, it made the hairs on his arms stand up and he felt a tremor run through him.  

He felt a nudge on his elbow and turned around, surprised. Max was staring up at him, his eyes wide with curiosity behind his glasses. “Are you a warlock?” he asked very seriously. 

“Yes, I am,” Magnus smiled down at the kid. 

“Max, leave the warlock alone,” Maryse took her youngest son by the arm and drew him away from Magnus. Of course, Magnus thought, bitterly, she couldn’t let her kid venture to close to him. Who knew he might turn him into a toad. He felt his shoulders tense but he didn’t say anything, expect a mumbling, “It’s fine, really.” 

“I don’t want him to distract you,” offered Maryse. 

At that point Alec intervened, “Don’t worry, mom, it’s not like Magnus will let anything happen to him. Max can watch.” 

Magnus felt touched that Alec would stick up for him, but before he could say so, Jace arrived and called Alec. Alec’s head perked up, hearing Jace calling him, and he was gone before Magnus could even turn around. It felt like a slap in the face that Alec was still so hung up on his parabatai. Moodily, Magnus went back to work on the Portal. 

At some point Maryse turned to him, impatiently, “I don’t see why it’s taking so long. Is that normal?” 

“What’s not normal is the discount I’m giving you,” Magnus replied, irritably, “Normally I charge twice this much.” 

He was almost done with the work when suddenly the air was filled with a white mist. The distinct scent of it immediately told Magnus what it was, hell mist. That must mean there was some sort of attack happening. Just then he heard a shriek from one of the Shadowhunters. Maryse, who was standing next to him, immediately went to stand in front of her youngest son, grabbing a seraph blade from her weapon belt. Alec, too, was holding a blade while Isabelle was coiling her whip. Magnus hurriedly finished the Portal and opened it up when behind him the fighting began. A Forsaken attack. The air filled with shrieks, and more mist wrapped around him. From a distance he saw Jace coming, a blade in hand, and behind him, Clary’s vampire friend Smedley.   

“The Portal,” Magnus yelled to Alec, “Go through the Portal!” A couple of Shadowhunters jumped through. Then Maryse appeared, Max in her arms, as she went. Alec and Isabelle where right behind her. Alec was staring at Magnus, white faced.  “Go,” Magnus yelled and almost pushed him the Portal in. Behind Alec a Forsaken leaped at him and Izzy, but they were jumping through and gone. The rest of the Shadowhunters jumped into the Portal and now only Jace was left. The Forsaken that had attacked Izzy turned on the vampire, hacking with a blade in the boy’s shoulder. Jace was wielding his blade and killed the Forsaken, heaving the now unconscious vampire over his shoulder and jumped through the Portal. As soon as they were all gone, Magnus closed the Portal, granting them safety. 

By the time the Portal was sealed off, the Forsaken were all gone. Fortunately they had no interest in a six feet tall warlock. 

 


	28. Firemessage

**Nineteenth meet (not really a meet, just a fire message)**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

Shadowhunters were crazy, Magnus was absolutely sure about it. Hours after the Portal was closed, Clary had turned up with Luke. And instead of accepting defeat, the crazy redheaded scrap had created a Portal herself and dropped into Idris, Luke following her instantly. Magnus had shaken his head. Crazy people, those Nephilim. Why had he ever let himself get involved in their business. He had promised to himself that he was going to stay away from them, but he bitterly failed at that. 

He went back to his loft, went to sleep, and woke up to another day at the office. He had a dream about Alec last night. His blue eyes shining with laughter. His face lighting up with it. Magnus had sighed deep when he awoke. He missed him profoundly. 

It was already evening when the fire message came. No phones in Idris, Magnus thought, so instead of calling, Alec had turned to fire messages to ask Magnus to call him back. At least, that’s what he thought would be in the message. But he turned out to be wrong, because when he opened the message, the writing on it was formal and impersonal. 

 _Warlock Bane, has the vampire Simon Lewis been brought back to New York via Portal this evening? Alec Lightwood._  

Pfff, he wasn’t even going to answer that. _Warlock Bane_. As far as Magnus was concerned, Alec could stick it somewhere else from now on. 

But when he went to bed that night he couldn’t stop tossing and turning and thinking of blue-eyed gorgeous Alexander, even if he had called him Warlock Bane as if he didn’t know him. And truth be told, he really didn’t want Alec to stick it somewhere else. If there was anything he didn’t want it was that. 

After a fitful night he send a message back. 

 _Alexander, there has been no Portal activity in New York since Clary decided to create one of her own to follow you all to_ _Idris_ _. Yours sincerely, Magnus._  

He thought he handled that better than Alec had handled his own fire message. And he told himself very sternly that from now on, fire message or not, he would go back to ignoring Alec completely. 

 


	29. How Magnus Got to Idris

**How Magnus got to** **Idris**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

The phone rang and rang. It was the middle of the night and Magnus had already gone to bed. He didn’t really have official office hours, so anyone could be calling at this late hour. He picked it up and answered with a croaky voice, “Yes?” 

“Magnus, did you get Ragnor’s message?” Catarina sounded really flustered and upset. Magnus sat up from his bed and looked around in his room. On the wall there was clear writing in golden illuminating letters. _Finito_ _Fell._ _Idris_ _. Country house._ Magnus understood instantly what it meant. It was an s.o.s. call from his fellow warlock, Ragnor Fell. 

“I just got it,” Magnus said, “I’ll go. You can stay here, ok?” 

“Let me know what happened,” Catarina said. 

Magnus assured her he would, then he jumped out of the bed, made a Portal on his wall and portalled directly into Ragnor’s  country house in Idris. For a second he thought, _I’m going to_ _Idris_ _, which is where Alec is_. But he ignored the thought. He had other, more important things to worry about. Clary had been looking for Ragnor for some time now. Magnus should have known the manor in Idris would have been the best option to find him. But now it seemed someone had gotten there before Clary did. 

Ragnor’s house was a mess. Every piece of furniture was turned around and the contents spilled on the floors. Magnus called his friend's name, but got no answer. He began to search through the house and found Ragnor on the kitchen floor. The floor itself was smeared with blood and he saw a gaping wound in Ragnor’s chest. His eyes were staring lifeless at the ceiling. Magnus knelt down next to him and took his pulse. Unnecessary, for he already knew Ragnor was gone. With one smooth motion he closed Ragnor’s eyes. Then he sat back in the kitchen and looked around. He felt dazed, as if it hadn’t really happened and Ragnor wasn’t really dead. He raised a blue sparkle in his hand and whispered, _“Logos.”_ On the wall appeared Ragnor’s last message. It told him he was ambushed by something demonic in origin, something doing Valentines bidding. He was killed for the Book of the White. Magnus let out a long breath and closed his eyes. He had known Ragnor for his entire life. Ragnor had been older than Magnus, he didn’t even know how much older. But he had always been there. Even when he was cranky or unsupportive. Only a few weeks ago he’d called him on the phone. It seemed an impossible reality, a world without Ragnor.  

Magnus pulled himself up and wrote a fire message to Catarina. Then he took the body, put him in a green suit and in a coffin and buried him next to the country house. Back inside, Magnus tried to sort through the mess, in search of anything that could help him answer the question why his friend had to die.  

While sitting in the mess and pondering Ragnor’s message, another fire message arrived at the manor. It was addressed to Ragnor Fell and it told him some Shadowhunter named Sebastian Verlac was coming this afternoon with Clarissa Morgenstern in search of Ragnor’s aid. Sebastian Verlac, Magnus shook his head, where did Clary got that one from?  

It was early afternoon when Magnus felt the glamour of the house being pierced and he looked out of the window. In the distance he saw two figures coming up the path. For a short moment his heart stopped as he saw one of them was a tall, dark haired Shadowhunter. _Alec._ But at second glance the boy, though absolutely gorgeous, didn’t look like Alec at all. And he had black eyes. He shook his head in frustration. Why was it so hard to put Alec out of his mind? He knew this Sebastian guy was coming with Clary, why would he think it’d be Alec? He snapped his fingers to let the smoke from the chimney form a question mark. He saw the boy put an arm around Clary’s shoulder and changed the smoke to a heart. Faintly smiling at his own joke, he walked to the door.  

He hadn’t found any answers yet as to why Ragnor was dead, and he didn’t want anyone here until he did. But he couldn’t turn Clary down. She had clawed herself through his carefully set up boundaries, and nestled herself in his heart when she was just a toddler. Just before he opened the door he checked his outfit. He still wore the pajamas he had on last night, a mesh vest on top of it. It would have to do. He took Ragnor’s pipe, which was lying on a shelf next to the door and lit it. Nothing wrong with a bit of spectacle to make an entrance. Or an outrance really, even though Magnus was pretty sure that’s not a word. He stepped outside and regarded Clary with mild interest, she looked like she survived the illegal portal move fairly well, although she looked tired and a bit sad. That must be because of Jace, Magnus thought. He didn’t care much for the blonde trouble maker, but he did feel bad for Clary. It must be tough, to be in love with your own brother, and not be able to do a thing about it, too. It made his own situation with Alec a little more bearable.  At least, if Alec decided to quit on his crush on Jace and his faked heterosexual state, their relationship stood a chance. Though Magnus thought the chance of that happening was slim. 

He looked from Clary to the boy, who was, by all means, exceptionally beautiful. And also visibly very surprised for reasons unclear to Magnus. Whoever this was, he didn’t trust him.  

“Are you- Ragnor Fell? The warlock?” 

Magnus let Sebastian believe he was and let him talk some nonsense, while looking at him. Sebastian was a name which didn’t suit him. Magnus always had a strong feeling for names and whether people should be called by the name they have. That’s also why he called Alec Alexander a lot. The long name suited him, it was powerful, like Alec was. And Magnus liked it. 

When Clary was about to tell Sebastian that he was not Ragnor Fell, Magnus snapped his fingers and Sebastian froze midsentence. Clary, very startled, tried to revive him and when that didn’t work, she whirled on Magnus. “I can’t believe you just did that. What on _earth_ is wrong with you? Has whatever’s in that pipe melted your brain? Sebastian is on our side.” 

“I don’t have a side, Clary, darling,” Magnus replied casually. 

He took her inside the house and told her what he had found out so far about Ragnor. The book of the White was in the Wayland Mansion. She had to ask Jace to take her there. She was a bit uncertain whether Jace would be willing. But Magnus knew there wasn’t anything Jace wouldn’t do for her if she’d asked him. _Trust me,_   he thought,  _I know how it works._ Clary  finally gave in and they made a deal. She’d retrieve the Book of the White for him from the Wayland Mansion and then he’d go to New York and wake up her mother.  

Magnus walked Clary back to the door and she asked him to unfreeze Sebastian. “He’s nice, I promise,” she tried to reassure him. 

“Nice, bah. He’s gorgeous.” Magnus said while staring at the boy, the sharp cheekbones really stood out and his eyebrows were two beautifully carved out lines on the flawless ivory skin of his forehead. He looked like a piece of art. “You should leave him here. I could hang hats on him and things.” 

“No,” Clary shook her head, “You can’t have him.” 

“Why not? Do you _like_ him? He seems to like you. I saw him going for your hand out there like a squirrel driving for a peanut.” He smiled at Clary, winking. 

“Why don’t we talk about _your_ love life,” Clary whirled on him, clearly not amused. “What about you and Alec?” 

Magnus shook his head in frustration and decided to vent. Here was someone who could maybe relate a little bit, he thought. “Alec refuses to acknowledge that we have a relationship, and so I refuse to acknowledge him. He sent me a fire message asking for a favor the other day. It was addressed to ‘Warlock Bane,’ as if I were a perfect stranger.” The words were flowing out of him now, like an unstoppable flood. “He’s still hung up on Jace, I think, though _that_ relationship will never go anywhere. A problem I imagine _you_ know nothing about…”  

That was a low blow, and he knew it. As if Clary could help any of this. “Oh, shut up,” she replied and looked at him furiously. “Look, if you don’t unfreeze Sebastian, then I can never leave here, and you’ll never get the Book of the White.” 

She made a good point, at that. He made her promise not to tell him anything and unfroze him. The boy started talking again instantly but Clary pulled him away. Magnus regarded them closely, as they retreated, thinking there was something oddly familiar about the pair. The way they moved, they way they posed their bodies was very alike. Clary looked back once, and he grinned at her and winked. Then he turned around and back into the house. 

Clary was going to get him that book which, Magnus felt, was only fair. Since it did belong to warlocks, not to Shadowhunters. Now all he had to do was sit around and wait for her, so why not clean this place up a little, while he was at it.  

 


	30. What Happened to Alec in the Meantime

**What happened to Alec in the mean time – Liberation**

I'm beautiful in my way   
'Cause God makes no mistakes   
I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

Don't hide yourself in regret   
Just love yourself and you're set   
I'm on the right track, baby  
I was born this way  

  * Lady Gaga, Born This Way 



* * *

 

 _There was a crash-_ _the sound of shattering_ - _and a sudden spray of broken glass like a shower of jagged stars. Jace looked down at his left hand, the knuckles streaked with scarlet, with a clinical interest as fat red drops of blood collected and spattered down on the floor at his feet._  

 _Isabelle stared from Jace to the hole in the glass, lines radiating out from the empty center, a_ _spiderweb_ _of thin silver cracks._  

  * City of Glass. ch.6. Bad Blood, p132 



* * *

 

_**Alec** _

Alec thought he was going to be happy to be back in Idris. Idris was his home country, where he was born, where he belonged. Part of him always wanted to go back and that part had been looking forward to going. But now that he was here it wasn’t half as good as he thought it would be. First, Magnus had ignored him at the portal. Then Jace had decided to bring Simon with him. Well, not decided, really. It was an accident. But still. And now Simon was thrown into jail. Clary had come to Idris illegally, which upset Jace extremely. And to top that all off, Jace decided this was a perfect time to vandalize the house of the people they were staying with.  

Alec brought him to their bedroom after Jace had smashed in the small picture window. He’d smashed it because he was once again blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault. And for that Alec was angry with Jace. Angry because Jace felt it necessary to inflict pain on himself. To punish himself. Punishment Jace felt he deserved, because he was Valentine’s son and in love with his sister. As if that was something he could be blamed for. Jace couldn’t help how he was born.  

Alec ordered Jace to sit and searched for his medical kit to bandage Jace’s bleeding hand.  

“Aren’t you going to use a healing rune?” Jace asked. 

“No. You can just—” Alec broke off the sentence, and cursed while he grabbed the box he needed and went to sit in front of Jace. “Give me your hand.” 

Jace held his hand out. It looked awful, the knuckles split open and crusted with blood. “You’re an idiot.” Alec announced as he started working on retrieving splinters of glass out of Jace’s hand. 

“Thanks,” Jace said. “So, why not?” 

“Why not what?” 

“Why not use a healing rune? This isn’t a demon injury.” 

“Because,” Alec said slowly. “I think it would do you good to feel the pain. You can heal like a mundane. Slow and ugly. Maybe you’ll learn something. Although I doubt it.” 

“I can always do my own healing rune, you know.” 

Alec bandaged Jace’s hand. “Only if you want me to tell the Penhallows what really happened to their window, instead of letting them think it was an accident.” Jace winced when he pulled the bandages tight, which Alec felt was what he deserved. “You know, if I’d thought you were going to do this to yourself, I would never have told you anything.” 

“Yes, you would have,” Jace said. “I didn’t realize my attack on the picture window would upset you quite so much.” 

“It’s just—”Alec looked down on their hands, Jace’s in his. And he sighed. “Why do you do these things to yourself? Not just what you did to the window, but the way you talked to Clary. What are you punishing yourself for? You can’t help how you feel.”  

Jace sounded steady when he said, “How do I feel?” 

“I see how you look at her,” Alec looked up, staring at the wall behind Jace. He wanted to help him. He knew, he understood how Jace felt. Out of all people, he knew. “And you can’t have her. Maybe you just never knew what it was like to want something you couldn’t have before.” 

Alec felt Jace’s eyes on him. “What’s between you and Magnus Bane?” 

 _What?_ Alec’s head shot up, shocked at the unexpected question. “I don’t—there’s nothing—” He stammered, his mind reeling. Why did Jace bring up Magnus? 

“I’m not stupid. You went right to Magnus after you talked to Malachi, before you talked to me or Isabelle or anyone—” 

“Because he was the only one who could answer my question, that’s why. There isn’t anything between us,” Alec said. He looked at Jace and saw there was no way Jace could be fooled. Jace had known that day at Luke’s house and he knew now. Alec decided to tell the truth, he didn’t have much choice.  “Anymore.” He added, “There’s nothing between us anymore. Okay?” 

“I hope that’s not because of me,” said Jace. 

Alec felt the color drain from his face, he let go of Jace’s hand and moved back, creating a little distance between them. Where was Jace going with this? “What do you mean?” He asked, afraid of the answer. 

“I know how you think you feel about me,” Jace said. “You don’t, though. You just like me because I’m safe. There’s no risk. And then you never have to try to have a real relationship, because you can use me as an excuse.”  

Well, there you go. It was typical of Jace to act out like this when he was in a dark mood. Be rude and cruel to the people he loved. Alec wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of a reply. 

“I get it,” he said, his voice tight with hurt. “First Clary, then your hand, now me. To hell with you, Jace.” 

“You don’t believe me?” Jace asked. “Fine. Go ahead. Kiss me right now.” 

At first Alec couldn’t process what Jace had said. But when he understood his eyes went wide. A strong feeling of repulsion came over him. The idea of really, actually kissing Jace seemed so wrong.  

“Exactly,” Jace read his face like an expert and sounded smug. “Despite my staggering good looks, you actually don’t like me that way. And if you’re blowing off Magnus, it’s not because of me. It’s because you’re too scared to tell anyone who you really love. Love makes us liars. The Seelie Queen told me that. So don’t judge me for lying about how I feel. You do it too.”  

Alec felt numb after hearing what Jace just said. _You’re too scared… Love makes us liars._ It actually, physically hurt to hear Jace say these things and knew they were directed at him. Jace could be really awful to people, but rarely to Alec. They were best friends, they never fought. Not really. Until now. 

Jace stood up from his chair and looked at Alec defiantly. “And now I want you to do it again.” 

“What do you mean?” Alec asked. 

“Lie for me,” Jace said, he started pulling on his jacket. “It’s sunset. They’ll start coming back from the Gard about now. I want you to tell everyone I’m not feeling well and that’s why I’m not coming downstairs. Tell them I felt faint and tripped, and that’s how the window got broken.” 

Alec looked up at Jace, meeting his eyes. “Fine, If you tell me where you’re really going.” 

“Up to the Gard,” said Jace. “I’m going to break Simon out of jail.” 

*** 

Jace left the room and Alec buried his face in his hands, letting the feelings of anger and hurt wash over him. But he recognized another feeling, too. New and curious. A feeling of liberation. Of a weight lifted from his shoulders. He thought back about what Jace had said. _I know how you think you feel about me. You don’t._ Dead simple like that. And after Jace proposed a kiss Alec was surprised because he realized that Jace was right. He didn’t want to kiss him. He thought he did when it was an impossibility. But when it became an optional reality Alec shrank back from it. It would be like kissing his brother. He shuddered at the thought, it was revolting. He also was slightly aware of the irony of it. Since Jace and Clary certainly didn’t seem to be disgusted by their attraction to each other. They seemed heartbroken instead. But their situation was different, they didn’t grow up together and Alec and Jace were more like siblings than Jace and Clary would ever be. 

Alec got up and starting pacing the room. So he was not in love with Jace. That was the only logical conclusion. It confused him. He thought he’d been in love with Jace for years now. What did this mean? Alec wondered if he even knew what love was, now that he had found out what it wasn’t. He thought back at what Magnus had said on the last night he was there, in Brooklyn. _You are deluding yourself._ Had Magnus known then, known what Jace had known? That Alec had used Jace as an excuse. It felt as if the scales were falling from his eyes. Magnus was right, he had been deluding himself. Because he was scared. Scared to be gay. Scared of how people would look at him, his parents, the Clave. He knew it had implications, being gay, although there wasn’t any official law against it.  

When Jace had put that fearless Rune on him, Alec remembered how it felt not to be afraid anymore of any of these implications. He had felt free, and light. More like himself. It was similar when he was with Magnus. Magnus who was letting him be whoever he wanted to be. Magnus made him feel brave. He was able to stand up in Taki’s to protect him from the fight that was happening there. He could kiss him in the alley, for every passerby to see. And he knew he didn’t mind. Not really. 

He was a Shadowhunter. He shouldn’t be afraid. Especially not for something like this. This was who he was. If he was able to accept himself for that, he could be free. Really free. 

He closed his eyes and let the feelings wash over him. No condemnation anymore. No inferiority. He thought about a saying he had read somewhere.  _No one can make you feel inferior without your consent._ Well, he was not giving his consent anymore. Not to himself, and not to others. Alec felt he sat up straighter, with dignity. He thought back to what he had said to Magnus when they first met.  _It wasn’t your fault. You can’t help how you’re born._ And that werewolf girl in the bar. _You can’t help being what you are._ Why then, if he told others that, he couldn’t believe it for himself? Did he feel he was to blame, or that he needed to hide? For being gay? That couldn’t be true. There was no fault here, no mistake or problem. This was how he was born. He was gay. And it was okay. 

Alec sat down at the bed, staring off in the middle distance. “It’s okay,” he whispered and he was suddenly overcome with a profound longing to see Magnus and tell him his newly discovered truth. He conjured up the beautiful face of the warlock in his mind’s eye. His perfect caramel colored skin, his wonderful gold-green cat eyes, how he could stare at Alec in awe, appreciating what he saw. And Alec knew he wanted to become the Alec he was in Magnus’s eyes. An Alec who was strong, a warrior, but also someone who was open and honest, who could talk and listen and laugh. Who could kiss and love. 

An Alec who could love. 

That last thought pulled him up short. Love. He had only just realized he wasn’t really in love with Jace. But now, thinking of Magnus, he felt the fluttering in his stomach. The spark that could so easily be turned into a blaze at Magnus’s touch. Even one look of Magnus was enough to make the hairs on his arms stand up, charged with electricity. How did he never really realized this before, Alec wondered. But he knew how. He had been deluding himself. Too scared to tell anyone who he really loved. And now, now that he wasn’t afraid anymore, it was too late. Magnus had cut him off. But he knew, with a clarity that was new to him, that he loved Magnus. 

The freedom he had so recently experienced got mingled with frustration. But determination, too. Alec was stubborn, and he wasn’t going to give up. When he got home, he was going to find Magnus. Ask him why he hadn’t called him back and he was going to try. Try to tell him that he didn’t want it to end. That he was done deluding himself and he refused to delude anyone else either. Love makes us liars, Jace said. But that wasn’t true. It was the fear that had made Alec a liar, and love made him want to tell the truth. With that truth, maybe Magnus would want him back.  

Alec thought the chance might be slight, but at the same time he felt he could hope.   

He could love. He could be free. He could be himself. And he could admit that he was in love with Magnus Bane. 

 


	31. I Love You, You Stupid Nephilim

**Nineteenth meet**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

In the evening, tired of sitting all day in that abandoned house, Magnus got out and took a long walk. Lost in thought he didn’t pay much attention to where he was going. He was thinking about Ragnor, who was gone forever. He still couldn’t grasp it and wondered what would happen if the truth sank in. That he was really and truly gone. And he was thinking about Alec and what he’d said to Clary. It had hurt him more than he thought possible, that Alec didn’t want to acknowledge him. Hadn’t he felt what Magnus felt, all those hours spent together? Magnus was frustrated that he couldn’t seem to let it go.  

He suddenly heard a rumble in the distance, and looked up. He could see Alicante at the horizon, the glass towers rising up in the air. Normally they’d glow with a silver glow, but now they were flashing red, as if an alarm was going off. Magnus stopped dead in his tracks. Not _as if_ , an actual alarm was going off. Without thinking it through, he started running. _Alec is there_.  

The streets were dark as he was winding his way through them. The city seemed abandoned. What was he thinking, going off running to Alicante like this? Now that he was here, he had no idea what to do. He was turning into Cistern Square when he decided to turn back to the manor. But then he was ambushed by a horde of Iblis demons. _Demons_. In Alicante. This was bad, really bad. 

The demons where forcing him against the wall of a shop. He dispatched the first one of the smoky yellow eyed monsters with several blue flashes of magic. A second demon took the place of the first, and Magnus repeated the process, killing three of them at once. There were only a few left when he heard a rustle behind him and the thud of a pair of booted feet landing on the square. The sound of a seraph blade split the night. Magnus had just shot the last two demons with his blue strikes and whirled around to see Alec standing there, splitting another demon in half with his blade.  

“ _Alec?_ ” Magnus hadn’t seen the last of the demons sneaking behind his back, but Alec was there. _Alec was there_. Conjured up out of thin air, saving his life. He stared at the Shadowhunter in pure amazement. He looked dazzling, all dressed up in gear, his blue eyes blazing. His body wired and ready for attack, every muscle tensed. His hair blowing in his face as he discarded the used blade. There was a fine layer of dust covering him, ash from the Iblis demon, but other than that he seemed unharmed. 

“Did you just- did you just save my life?” He realized he was having a hard time believing it. Never before had a Shadowhunter saved his life before. Although this wasn’t just any Shadowhunter now, was it? But the fact that Alec was willing to put himself out there for Magnus, touched him more than he thought possible. Could it mean, he wondered, that their relationship wasn’t as one sided as he thought it was? 

Alec was staring at him, looking for words. When he spoke them, they weren’t what Magnus expected. “You never called me back. I called you so many times and you never called me back.” 

Magnus shot his eyebrows up, completely baffled. Was he going crazy? “Your city is under attack, the wards have broken, and the streets are full of demons.” He summed up the situation, “And you want to know why I haven’t _called you_?” 

He saw Alec clench his jaw, jutting out his chin, “I want to know why you haven’t called me _back_.” 

Magnus threw his hands up in the air, blue sparks of magic flying off. “You’re an idiot,” he said. 

“Is _that_ why you didn’t call me? Because I’m an idiot?” Alec said, sounding indignant. 

Magnus shook his head and took a few steps to close the distance. “No, I didn’t call you because I’m tired of you only wanting me around when you need something. I’m tired of watching you be in love with someone else-someone, incidentally, who will never love you back. Not the way I do.”  

There, he said it. Could he be any more clear?  

“You _love_ me?” Alec’s voice shot up an octave, utterly amazed. 

“You stupid Nephilim,” Magnus sighed and shook his head again. “Why else am I here? Why else would I have spent the past few weeks patching up all your moronic friends every time they got hurt? And getting you out of every ridiculous situation you found yourself in? Not to mention helping you win a battle against Valentine. And all completely free of charge!” 

It felt good to let it all out, to tell it to the one person he wanted to know about it. About how he really felt, for some time now. He wanted to say more. He wanted to say how his heart stuttered in his chest whenever he saw him. How he loved it when Alec laughed and his whole face would light up because of it. How he loved it even more when he was the one to make him laugh. But Alec didn’t give him a chance.  

“I hadn’t looked at it that way,” was his reply and it rubbed Magnus the wrong way. 

“Of course not. You never looked at it in any way.” He heard the anger in his own voice while he spat the words. “I’m seven hundred years old, Alexander. I know when something isn’t going to work. You won’t even admit I exist to your parents.” 

Alec simply stared at him, and instead of reacting to his real message, said, “I thought you were three hundred! You’re _seven hundred years old_?” 

“Well, eight hundred. But I don’t look it.” Magnus had always lied about his age and didn’t see why he had to speak the truth now. Especially since Alec was so craftily avoiding the real issue here.“Anyway, you’re missing the point. The point is-” 

The words stuck in his throat when he saw Alec stare at a point behind him and his jaw dropped. “Damn it,” he swore.  

Magnus turned to see what Alec was looking at, and spotted another dozen Iblis demons approaching them. “Way to change the subject, Lightwood,” he growled. 

He half turned back to Alec, who reached into his belt for another seraph blade. “Tell you what,” he said, his blue eyes fixed on Magnus, with half a grin on his face. Magnus thought he’d never looked more beautiful than he looked now. “We live through this, and I promise I’ll introduce you to my whole family.” 

Magnus felt a smile come on his own face then. Alec was acknowledging him, finally. He could scarce believe it. Unfortunately, there was no time to dwell on it. The demons were approaching them rapidly. He flung up his arms, blue sparks escaping his fingertips, but he grinned widely through the blue haze. “It’s a deal.” 

Magnus was practically glowing, while throwing blue flames towards the demons. Alec, beside him, was wielding his seraph blade with ease. They disposed of the demons rather quickly. It turned out together they were stronger, and Alec had his back. Magnus felt his heart jump at that thought. He remembered thinking Alec always got Jace’s and Isabelle’s back, but this time he had his back. The feeling was new, and wonderful.  

When all the demons were turned back to their own dimension, Magnus turned to regard the Shadowhunter next to him. Alec’s eyes were blazing blue with the adrenaline and intensity of the fight. “You okay?” Alec asked him. 

“I’m perfectly fine, Alexander, couldn’t be better.” He grinned widely. “So, we’re going to look for your family now, I suppose?  

Alec smiled back, while pulling his hand through his disheveled hair. Magnus felt the sudden urge to touch him, so he reached out and put a hand on Alec’s arm. For a moment, he was afraid Alec would pull away from him, like he had done every other time they were in the proximity of Shadowhunters. But this time Alec turned towards him, and laid his own hand on Magnus’ cheek. He leaned in and Magnus felt his lips briefly touching his own. Then Alec pulled away again, “Sure thing,” he said.  

“So, where are we going?” Magnus asked. 

“To the Hall,” Alec answered, “I was looking for Aline Penhallow when I found you here, I’m still looking for her. I’m thinking maybe she’ll be there.”  

He turned and Magnus’ hand fell off his arm. They started walking towards the Accords Hall as Alec explained his search. “We’re staying at the Penhallows. We were in their house when a demon cut through a window and grabbed her. Isabelle chased her but couldn’t find her. I send her back in the house and went out to search.” 

Magnus frowned, “This is bad, you know. Demons in Alicante.” 

“I know,” Alec gave Magnus a sideways glance. “I know you just said you’re here because of me, but how did you know about all this?” He gestured around him. 

“I was in Idris,” Magnus said, “A fellow warlock of mine, Ragnor Fell, was killed.” His voice shook a little and he saw compassion in Alec’s eyes. Encouraged by that look he continued, “I was at his house, a little outside Alicante. While I was taking a walk I saw the glass towers were glowing red. That’s when I knew the wards were down. So I came to see what was going on, thinking you might be in danger. Before I knew it, those demons were on me. And then you came and saved my life. Thank you for that, by the way.” 

Alec gave him one of his rare smiles, which made his whole face lit up. “You’re welcome.” 

They’ve reached the Hall and entered it. It was full of frenzied Shadowhunters and lycanthropes. Magnus could tell immediately, the smell of wet dog was quite overpowering. “Werewolves,” he muttered. Alec, beside him, nodded while looking around. “There’s Aline, I’m going to check if she’s okay.” 

He strode off and Magnus didn’t follow. He didn’t know Aline, and even though Alec had promised to introduce him to his parents, that didn’t mean he would appreciate it if Magnus followed him around like a puppy. Not, Magnus thought, that that was his intention. He looked around at the frenzy and then down at himself. The gray swaying coat he was wearing was torn and filthy, smears of demon ichor staining the fabric. With one last glance in the direction Alec had headed, Magnus decided to go outside and change his clothes.  

He walked away from the Hall and flicked his fingers, getting rid of the ruined clothes. After taking a long, glittering coat out of his wardrobe in Brooklyn, and adding some extra hoops in his ears, he sat down on the stairs leading up to the Hall. That’s when he saw Luke and he got up and greeted him.  

“Magnus,” Luke said, by way of greeting, he looked exhausted, “I didn’t know you were here.” 

“Well,” Magnus said, “Someone needed to help the Nephilim, now that their wards are down. Isn’t that why you’re here, too, with your pack?” 

Luke nodded and they entered the Hall together. The Consul, the person with the highest rank of Shadowhunters, approached them and had the nerve to question their loyalty. Shadowhunters being arrogant, as always, Magnus thought. Even unto death. It was then that he found Clary at his side, asking him to come with her to talk. She handed him the Book of the White. This was turning out to be a good day, Magnus thought. First seeing Alec again and now he had his hands on this gorgeous spell book. 

“This is even better than I’d heard it was,” he said, going through the pages, scanning the hundreds of spells in it. “I can’t wait to get started on these spells.” 

“Magnus!” Clary shouted, which was uncalled for since she was standing right next to him. “My mom first. You promised.” 

“And I abide by my promises,” Magnus said in a grave voice. 

Clary was starting to say something else when they got interrupted by the annoyingly beautiful Shadowhunter boy she’d brought with her the other day. There was something off with this boy, though Magnus couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. Just as the boy started hounding him over the spell book, Alec showed up with Jace at his side, snapping at Sebastian about leaving Izzy and Max alone. Magnus regarded the situation with suspicion.  

Then Clary went off talking with Sebastian, and Magnus lost interest in the whole who’s-the-hotter-Shadowhunter-who-can-talk-to-Clary business. He wanted to look inside the book, laying heavy in his hand. “Alec, I’m going outside and take a look at this spell book, okay?” He said. 

Alec broke his gaze away from Clary and Sebastian and looked at him, “You’re leaving?” 

“No, no, I’ll stay around for tonight, to see how this will end. Tomorrow though, I’m off to New York, I promised Clary to fix her mum,” Magnus explained. “But for now I have a very strong feeling I need to take this book away from this place.” 

“Okay,” Alec nodded and turned to Jace, who was muttering something about Clary, which he almost always was. Magnus turned and left the Hall. He didn’t feel entirely comfortable around all these Shadowhunters and he didn’t mind leaving them behind. He wanted to bring this book to a safe spot. The way Sebastian reacted to Clary handing it to him, made him feel uncomfortable. He was almost never wrong about his hunches when it came to reading people. Once outside, he looked around, wondering where to go. It was at that point that he got a fire message from Tessa. 

 _I heard you were in_ _Idris_ _. I’m sorry to hear about_ _Ragnor_ _, I know you two were friends. If you need a place to stay in Alicante, away from the memories, y_ _ou can use the house on Angels L_ _ane, you know the one. It was_ _Jamies_ _, some other Shadowhunter family lived there but I heard they fled the city. It seems mayhem there. You don’t need to stay, but then I heard from Catarina you have a reason. Black hair and blue eyes. I always knew you had good taste. Take care of yourself and the one you love, they are precious and hard to come by. With love, Tessa._  

Take care of the one you love. Tessa didn’t even know Alec, and yet she wanted him safe. Because Magnus loved him. And he had told him so, too. But he hadn’t told anyone else. He was relieved that Alec knew now, it felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders. He wondered how Catarina knew. She must have drawn her conclusions, otherwise she would never have told Tessa. 

He went looking for the house on Angel Lane and found it soon enough. It was a nice mansion. Inside it he conjured up some of his stuff from his Brooklyn loft. His sheets, pillows and comforter on the large bed in the master bedroom. A few items of clothing, glitter and accessories on the vanity table. And downstairs he put the red coffee maker he bought for Alec. Then he sat on the sofa and started reading through the Book of the White, keeping an eye out for the cure he needed for Jocelyn. And keeping an eye out for something else too. A spell that would take away someone’s immortality. It had crossed his mind quite a few times in the past decade, the idea of losing his immortality. He had seen everything, had been everywhere. The only thing he never had done was grow old with someone. For a long time there was no one to grow old with. But now he had found someone, finally, after all these years he’d found someone. 

Who knew, if he could find that spell, he could try and grow old with Alec. 

Commotion outside made him turn his head towards the window. There was still some demonic activity going on, though the sun was about to rise. He saw people in the streets racing towards the Hall and thought of Alec. This cure for Jocelyn would have to wait, he thought as he stood up and rushed outside. To the one he loved. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we all know what happens next. Poor Max! Next chapters will be quite painful for Alec...


	32. Where There Is Sorrow

**Twentieth Meet - Where there is sorrow**  

 ** _Alec_**  

 _“I don’t see them.” Alec, casting anxiously around the room for his family, sounded as if he were a hundred miles off, or deep under water. “They should be here by now_ - _”_  

  * City of Glass, p.289 



* * *

 

When your brother dies, it is as if a part of you dies as well. 

Because you are not a big brother anymore. 

And you don’t have a little brother anymore. 

You’ll never get that back. 

 

* * *

 

Alec was searching the Hall, trying to locate his parents. People were running around, he heard sobbing and cries of the wounded. The crowd was so thick, it was hard to see. He thought he saw a familiar face with black hair at the dais and looked closer. Yes, there was Isabelle standing in the circle of his mother’s arms. “There they are, over there by the dais” he said to Jace, pointing towards them and squinting his eyes. Why was Isabelle hugging his mom? And where was his father? “It looks like…” he didn’t finish the sentence but started pushing through the crowd. Izzy was crying, he noticed and he sensed something was very wrong. People parted for him and that’s when he saw his father sitting on the ground, holding Max. 

Robert’s head was bowed down over Alec’s little brother who was lying motionless in his father’s lap. Alec froze for a second, Jace behind him almost bumping against him. “Alec,” Jace said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. But Alec ran. Within seconds he had reached his father and fell on his knees in front of him. “Max” he called out and he took his brothers hand, which was hanging limp at his side. Max’s hand was cold against Alec’s. He turned it around hastily and searched his wrist for a pulse. Frantic he looked up at his father who hardly noticed him. Robert was staring into Max’s face, whispering so soft Alec couldn’t hear him. “Max,” Alec repeated, his voice pleading, desperately. “Wake up.” 

But it was useless. Max’s cold and lifeless wrist told Alec what he had known the first second he laid eyes on him. There was no pulse. There was no life. He was gone. 

Alec felt Jace standing behind him but it didn’t give him the comfort he normally felt, to be close to his parabatai. He felt a hollow ache in his chest, everything around him falling away. He could hear his father’s whisper now, “My son, my boy.” Over and over again, like a litany. Alec felt the tears prick behind his eyes. This could not be happening. This could not be true. He squeezed Max’s hand, willing him to open his eyes. He looked at his face and noticed the blood trickling from his head onto his father’s sleeve. Very slowly, because the blood was already thickening, clotting on the fabric of his father’s coat. 

Alec felt frozen in time, not able to move until a sound from his right made him lift his head. He saw Isabelle had sunk to the floor, she was weeping, her hands in her hair, pulling so hard that he was sure she was going to pull her hair out. His mother was standing next to her, her face as pale as Alec had ever seen it. It was then that Alec found his voice, “What happened?” 

Maryse didn’t answer, but Jace, behind him, did. “Sebastian happened.” 

Alec turned to look at Jace. His face was like a statue, carved out of stone. A hot anger burning in his eyes. “It must be,” Jace said, “It’s the only logical explanation.” 

Alec saw Jia and Patrick Penhallow appear, Aline following in their wake. And Maryse saw them too. She pointed a finger at Jia, her hand shaking. “You,” she spat out, “You have invited that monster into your house and he killed my son.”  

Maryse was shrieking and Jia Penhallow looked awfully upset. “We didn’t…” she stammered, “we didn’t know, Maryse.” 

She held out a hand towards his mother but Maryse squatted it away. “I can’t believe it! You must have known. He was allied with Valentine. What does that say about you!” 

Alec scrambled to his feet and laid a hand on his mother’s arm. “Mom, calm down,” he said, but Maryse was beyond hearing him. He looked at Jace, pleading. “Jace. Help me?” 

But Jace didn’t move and looked as if he had changed into a sculpture, his hair blazing gold in the rising sun. Alec subsided and turned around, looking down at Max’s pale face and then up into the hall, feeling dazed but sensing that someone was waiting for him. That’s when he saw him, Magnus. He was standing against the wall next to the back exit of the hall, looking at him. Cat eyes shining green-gold in the sunlight. 

* * *

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

The Hall was flooded with Shadowhunters, they were tallying their deaths. Magnus looked around, searching for Alec over the crowd. He spotted Maryse first, because he heard her shrieking. Next to her, on the ground was Isabelle, who was clearly crying. Jace was standing in front of her, still as a statue. And there… Beside them, a tall man sat with a small boy on his lap. Magnus could hear the boy’s little voice in his head, from that day he made the portal.  _Are you a warlock?_ He had looked up to him with big eyes, behind his glasses, very serious. Max, Alec’s little brother.  

Magnus had been alive long enough, and had seen enough to see the difference between someone who was dead and someone who was merely asleep. Even from this distance he knew, there was no life left in the boy. 

Alec was sitting on his knees in front of the man, who was, Magnus saw that now, Robert Lightwood. Alec’s pale hand was holding Max’s, squeezing. His head bowed over his little brother, hair falling in his eyes. At another shriek from Maryse, who was yelling at a woman standing next to her, Alec stood up and went to his mother, trying to calm her down. Magnus stared at the scene and felt his heart break for the boy he loved. Because his brother was dead. Magnus walked a little closer, not really approaching them, but going around the side of the hall, until he was as close as he could be without actually going to them. Clearly there was no place for him there, but he needed to see, needed to look at Max to make sure nothing could be done. He knew it was foolish to think there would be something, but if there was anything, he would do it. Anything to change the tense set in Alec’s shoulders, which he clearly noticed. A distinct sign that Alec was in pain. 

He stood there, leaning against the wall of the Hall, staring at the boy in Robert Lightwoods arms. From here he saw the big gash in the head of the child, blood trickling on Roberts arm. He didn’t seem to notice, he just sat there, dazed. Magnus remembered Tessa when her Jamie died. James had been old, not a nine year old boy, but a gray old man. Still, to lose your child, nothing had to hurt more, though Magnus himself had no idea how it would feel. Neither did he know how it felt to lose a brother.  

Alec, who had given up on his futile attempt to calm down his mother, turned around, and Magnus sucked in a breath when he saw the look on Alec’s face. Never had he seen Alec so sad, so hurt, so lost, as he saw him now. Alec looked down at his brother and then up and straight into Magnus’s eyes, as if he had known Magnus was there. They held each other’s gaze for a while, then Alec beckoned Jace and pointed to Magnus. Together they broke away from the other Lightwoods and approached him. 

“Magnus,” it was Jace who spoke, while Alec just stood there, staring at him, his eyes very blue. Magnus nodded, to let Jace know he heard him, but he didn’t look away from Alec. Jace continued, unfazed, “Can you help us? Sebastian Verlac killed our brother, we need to track him and make him pay.”  

Only then did Magnus look to Jace, puzzled. “You want me to track your brothers murderer so you can go and kill him?” He asked.  

Jace nodded, impatiently. “That’s what I said.” 

Something about his manner unsettled Magnus. “I’ll help you, but I think right now you all should be there for each other,” he said gravely, “Something terrible has happened. It seems your sister and parents need you here.”  

He looked to Alec again and he saw his eyes shining with unshed tears. He felt the weight on Alec’s shoulders suddenly, the responsibility he felt. He would not, could not break down and cry, no matter how much he wanted it. As the eldest, he needed to stay strong. Magnus decided then that he would be the one who could give Alec what he needed, a shoulder to cry on, if only for a moment. To grieve. But not here, obviously, not in front of everyone.  

“Come with me,” he said to him, and turned for the backdoor of the Hall. He stalked out, and heard Alec’s footsteps indicating he was following him. Once outside, he walked a few more steps, until he reached a large tree and was almost swallowed up in its shade. The rising sun hadn’t reached it yet. He turned around then, expecting Alec to be a few steps behind him. But Alec was already there and had flung his arms around Magnus, buried his face in his neck and sobbed. Magnus put his arms around him and held him as tight as he could.  

“Oh Alec, my baby, my darling,” he whispered over and over again in Alec’s hair. With one hand he rubbed his back and the other he wound in his black hair, pulling Alec closer to him. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Alec, my baby,” he muttered, “my baby, my baby.” He rocked Alec slowly, as if he really were a baby. And Alec cried, wetting Magnus’s coat with his tears.  

* * *

 

 ** _Alec_**  

 _He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone_. The truth of it fell in sync with Alec’s heartbeat. Seeing Magnus had been his undoing. He felt his heart crack and fissure and he was Magnus immensely grateful for taking him outside, away from the people. Away from those he needed to be strong for. As soon as Magnus had turned around Alec flung himself against the warlock and cried.  

Magnus was standing against the tree but he was slowly sinking down to the ground, taking Alec with him and pulling him in his lap. Alec rested his head against Magnus’s chest and cried until the tears subsided. All the while he felt Magnus’s arms around him, his fingers trailing through his hair. His voice a soft and comforting whisper. “My baby, my baby.” 

His eyes were aching when he lifted his head and looked at Magnus. “Thank you,” he whispered, barely audible, “For holding me.”  

“Anytime,” Magnus answered firmly, “Whenever you want, I will hold you and you can cry.” 

“Can I?” Alec asked, his voice shaking, “It feels so weak.” 

“It is anything but weak, to cry for those you love,” Magnus said and Alec saw the tears shining in Magnus’s eyes. He lifted his hand and brushed Magnus’s cheek, looking at him tenderly. Amazed to see the pain he felt reflecting in Magnus’s face.  

“Is that why you’re crying now?” he asked softly. 

“I see your pain, Alexander, and it hurts me.” Magnus replied. Alec sighed deeply and nuzzled a little closer to the warlock, closing his eyes. He felt Magnus tightening his arms around him. 

“I should go back,” he whispered finally and felt Magnus nod.  

“Are you ready to be strong for them?” 

Alec looked up into Magnus’s eyes, surprised, “How did you know I needed to be strong for them and also know that all I wanted to do was break down and cry?” 

“Because I know you, Alexander,” Magnus replied and he wiped away another tear sliding down Alec’s cheek. 

Alec nodded and said, “You will help us track Sebastian?” 

“Of course I will, I’d do anything for you,” Magnus sighed, “There’s a house here in Alicante, which I can use. It’s in Angel’s Lane, number 32. Bring me his stuff and I’ll see if I can track him. And Alec, if you need anything, even if it is just me holding you, you can come. It doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night. You can always come.” 

Alec leaned towards him and pressed his lips against him. The kiss tasted salty from his tears. Magnus pulled him closer and kissed him back, soft and very tender. Then Alec scrambled up to his feet, squeezed Magnus’s hand one more time before he broke away from him and walked back to the Hall. Feeling broken but strong. 

 


	33. Ave Atque Vale

**Ave** **Atque** **Vale**  

 ** _Alec_**  

Inside the Hall, Alec saw his father hadn’t moved. Jace was standing behind Robert now. Isabelle sat next to her father and Maryse was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s mom,” Alec asked when he approached his family. 

“She went to search for another house where we can stay,” Isabelle said, her voice hoarse from crying. “She didn’t want to go back to the Penhallow’s.” 

Alec breathed in deeply and went to search for his mother. He found her talking to a woman with gray hair who was handing her a key. “Mom,” Alec said, “What are you doing?” 

His mother turned to him and Alec was shocked by how she looked. Her face without color, she looked as if she aged ten years within the last hour. “I’ve arranged for another house,” she said, her voice sounded lifeless. “We can bring Maxwell there to say our goodbyes before the funeral.” 

She handed Alec a white, silk ribbon which was a customary for Shadowhunters to bind the eyes of their dead with. “Isn’t he supposed to stay here with the rest of them?” Alec asked, indicating the bodies of the fallen Shadowhunters. People were busy bringing them in and lying them down in rows.  

But Maryse flinched. “You think I’ll leave my son lying on the ice cold floor of this Hall? Alone?” She shook her head, “He’s coming with us. We’re going to perform our family ritual today.” 

Alec nodded and asked her where they were going. She gave him the address and looked behind him at their family, her whole body suddenly sagging, exhausted. “I’ll get them to come,” he said and he saw his mother looking at him.  

“Thank you, Alexander,” she said and he knew she was grateful he was keeping it together. He seemed the only one capable. If she knew he had Magnus to thank for the strength he felt now, what would she say?  

*** 

Alec had taken his family to their new temporary house in Alicante, which was, he noticed, close to Angel’s Lane. He had also gone to the Penhallow’s with Jace to retrieve their luggage. As they entered the new house they found their parents sitting next to each other on the sofa. Beside the sofa stood a white ottoman on which Max was lying. He was clothed in white, Shadowhunters color for mourning. His hands folded on his stomach, his eyes closed. Alec walked towards them and touched his brother’s hair. “Where’s Izzy?” he asked. 

Robert didn’t say anything, but stared at Max. Maryse didn’t look up either but said slowly, “Upstairs.” 

“I’ll get her,” Jace said and he raced up the stairs calling for Isabelle to come for the family ritual. The ritual was a simple Shadowhunter ritual, done with only the closest family members before the actual funeral. Everyone would stand in a circle around the departed and draw a Rune for mourning on the hand of the person on their right. Then the eldest person would bind the silk ribbon on Max’s eyes. The ceremony closed with the eldest child citing the Catullus poem from which came the official Shadowhunter salute to the dead. _Ave_ _Atque_ _Vale_. 

Isabelle came down and they each took their place around the ottoman. Maryse at Max’s head. Robert to her right, then Alec, then Jace, then Isabelle. He looked at his sister standing across from him. She looked exhausted, there was a purple bump on her head from where Sebastian had hit her. Alec knew she blamed herself. She was in the house with Max and Sebastian when it happened. And she hadn’t been able to prevent it. Alec also knew it was useless to tell her it wasn’t her fault. She wouldn’t believe him anyway. 

They stood for a moment in silence until his mother took out her stele. Maryse took Robert’s hand and drew the Rune on there. Robert winced at the touch. Alec held out his hand to his father when his mother was done. He felt the roughness and calluses of his father’s large hands when he took his hand in his. Careful and bend on his task, he bowed his head over Alec’s hand and traced the Rune, the swirling lines of grief appearing on Alec’s skin. Alec took the stele from his father and turned to Jace, taking his outstretched hand. He looked into his parabatai’s eyes, they were shining with unshed tears. Jace could seem like a statue without feelings sometimes, but Alec knew he was hurting as bad as he himself was. He draw the Rune as careful as his father had done and squeezed Jace’s hand lightly when he was done, before handing him the stele. Jace took Isabelle’s hand and Alec saw the tears sliding down her face, dripping in her neck and onto the collar of her shirt while Jace was working. Then finally, Isabelle took the stele and turned to her mother. Isabelle’s hands trembled as she took her mother’s hand in hers, but she managed to draw the Rune. Maryse retrieved the stele to put it in her pocket and held out the silk ribbon. She bend over Max and bound it carefully on his eyes. With a caress only as gentle as a mother’s can be she touched his face when she was done. Then she stood up straight and looked at Alec. _Your turn_ her eyes told him. 

Alec swallowed and started to recite the poem. It should normally be in Latin, but he preferred the English version, the one they all understood.  

“Through many countries and over many seas   
I have come, brother, to these melancholy rites,   
to show this final honor to the dead,   
and speak (to what purpose?) to your silent ashes,   
since now fate takes you, even you, from me.   
Oh, brother, ripped away from me so cruelly,   
now at least take these last offerings, blessed   
by the tradition of our parents, gifts to the dead.   
Accept, by custom, what a brother’s tears drown,   
and, for eternity, brother, ‘Hail and Farewell’.” 

“Atque in perpetuum frater ave atque vale,” Jace and Isabelle said. 

“Ave atque vale,” Maryse and Robert repeated. And then silence fell. 

 


	34. I Need to Say I'm Dating Him

**Twenty first meet** **– part 1**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

The knock on the door woke Magnus up. It was at sunrise when he’d come back and had fallen asleep on the sofa, it was around midday now. He stood up and opened the door, and saw without surprise Alec and Jace standing on his doorstep, carrying a box. His eyes were immediately drawn to Alec, who looked gray from exhaustion. The circle’s under his eyes stood out like bruises, and it was as if the blue in his eyes had paled a bit. As if a part of him had died, which, Magnus thought, was true in a way. He didn’t have a little brother anymore, that part of him died. 

They followed Magnus to the living room where Jace dropped the contents of the box on the table. “These are Sebastian’s things,” he announced, “Can you track him?” 

“I’ll get to it,” Magnus replied, “First coffee though, have you even slept?”  

The question was meant for Alec, he looked at him attentively before he walked to the corner where he had conjured up the red coffee maker he had bought for Alec. There was no electricity in Idris, but he didn’t need it to make the machine work. He made three cups and handed one to Alec, another to Jace and took a big gulp from the third. 

Alec shook his head, “I didn’t have time to sleep. We had to perform the ritual. I had to…” His voice trailed off.  

Magnus reached for his hand and squeezed it softly, before letting him go. Alec gave a deep sigh and continued, “My mom was so upset with the Penhallows, she arranged for us to go to an empty house. They’re all there now. Isabelle has locked herself in one of the bedrooms. She’s blaming herself. As if _I_ didn’t leave them alone with him, as if _I_ shouldn’t take all the blame.” 

“Of course not,” Magnus replied, “Neither of you are to blame. You didn’t know this guy wasn’t to be trusted.” 

“I know,” Alec replied, “But I feel so worthless. I tried sleeping in that strange house after the ritual, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Max.” His voice shook, the words stuck in his throat and he sank down on the sofa.  

“You can sleep here, there’s a bed upstairs, and I brought some things from Brooklyn,” Magnus said, carefully choosing his words, not wanting to say too much in front of Jace. “I know it’s not home, but… well, you’ve been to my place a few times, so it might be less strange for you.”  

Anything, he thought, anything I can do to make him feel better. “I could conjure up some of your own things from the Institute if that’s what you want?” 

Alec shook his head and laid back against the sofa. Jace, who was rummaging through the stuff on the table suddenly looked up.  

“Alec, go upstairs and try to sleep, you’re exhausted,” he said, and he sounded very much like a worried brother. When Alec didn’t move Jace strode to the sofa and hailed his parabatai up and moved him towards the hall. 

“Go,” he said. But Alec stood still.  

“There’s one thing I need to say,” he said as Jace and Magnus looked at him in surprise. “It’s not something you two don’t know. But I need to tell you.”  

His eyes went to Jace and their gazes met, “I need to say I’m dating him.”  

He made a gesture toward Magnus with his arm, “I’m dating Magnus. I wanted you to know.”  

Alec’s eyes went from Jace’s to Magnus. Magnus felt his mouth fall open at what Alec had just said. Sure, during that strange fight in the square Alec had told him he was going to introduce him to his family. But why he was saying this now, that wasn’t clear to him and certainly unexpected. 

“I know,” Jace replied, “And you know I’m fine with it, right?” 

Alec nodded as Jace laid a hand on his shoulder. “I understand why you needed to say that now. And you’ve said it. Now go.” Alec went and climbed the stairs obediently. 

Jace turned back to Magnus, who felt his mouth was still open. He closed it quickly. “What was that about?” he asked Jace. 

 “Our brother is dead,” Jace replied and he looked at Magnus. “He will never know what Alec just told me. That’s why he said it.” 

“Thank you,” Magnus said, understanding. 

“For what?” Jace asked, surprised. 

“For being his brother, I guess.” Magnus replied. 

Jace nodded and turned back to the table. He picked up a bracelet and played with it. “You showed me how to track, but we never quite finished it. So can you do it? I’ll watch and see how it works.” 

“Sure,” Magnus went to stand beside him and took a book from the table. His fingers sparked blue while he chanted a tracking spell. He closed his eyes while pressing the book into his hands. Nothing. He came up blank. He repeated the spell, but the same thing happened.  

“Is this book even Sebastians?” he asked Jace.  

“It should be,” Jace replied. 

An hour later, they had tried every single item on the table, and nothing worked. “It’s as if he’s not here anymore,” Magnus muttered.  

“You mean he’s dead?” Jace asked.  

“Could be, I don’t know,” Magnus replied, “Maybe he has something on him that blocks tracking.” 

Jace shook his head in frustration. “Okay, well, you know what, I’m leaving. I need to go for a walk. Tell Alec I went home when he wakes up.” He turned on his heels and walked out of the door. 

With a flick of his fingers Magnus moved the mess on the table back in the box and walked to the hall. At the foot of the stairs he waited for a moment, hesitant, but then he thought about Tessa, _the one you love_ , she’d said. He climbed the stairs and entered the bedroom. On the big king-sized bed lay his own bedsheets and pillows, and under the comforter was Alec. Only his black hair visible on the fluffy yellow pillow. Magnus paused for a second to remove his boots, jeans and coat and crawled into the bed wearing only a t-shirt and Calvin Klein boxer shorts. Alec shifted, turned around and laid his head on Magnus’s shoulder. Magnus wrapped his arms around him, rested his head against Alec’s and closed his eyes. Despite all the hurt and sadness, he felt grounded, tethered to the world again, because Alec was in his arms. 

 


	35. The Stories of Max

**Twenty first meet – part 2**  

 **The stories of Max**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

When he woke up, Magnus found it was dark outside, which meant night had fallen. Alec was still sound asleep in his arms, and Magnus tightened his arms around him, while staring at the ceiling of the bedroom. It was only a few minutes later that Alec started to move restlessly, a soft whimper escaped his throat and Magnus saw his eyes move rapidly behind his closed eyelids.  

“Alec,” he whispered, “Wake up, you’re having a nightmare.”  

He shook him a bit and Alec’s eyes flew open and he let out a startled cry. “Max,” he said and he sat up straight in the bed. Magnus felt his heart contract. He put a hand on Alec’s back, “Alec.”  

He saw how his shoulders sagged when he realized again that his brother was gone. He turned around and looked at Magnus, infinite sadness in his eyes. He laid back down then, his head on Magnus’s chest, and let out a deep sigh.  

“He’s gone,” he whispered, barely audible, “I can’t believe it.”  

Magnus rubbed his back and pulled him closer. After about a quarter of an hour just lying there, Alec lifted his head a little and Magnus felt his lips on his neck. “Thank you for being here,” Alec whispered against his neck. “I did little to deserve it. I didn’t even keep our deal.” 

“Oh, Alexander. Do you really think I expected you to introduce me to your parents on the night your brother died?” Magnus sighed and thought back at what Jace had said. 

“No. But I’d said I’d introduce you to my whole family, and that’s impossible now. Cause one of them is gone and I can never introduce you to him.” Alec sounded so hopeless, it made Magnus’s heart ache for him. “What do I do, Magnus, what do I do? Nothing makes sense anymore.” 

Magnus’s hands trailed in Alec’s hair. “You have to go through the motions. Mourn. Cry your eyes out. And eventually you’ll find something again that is pure and true and meaningful. And you’ll know there are still things that seem right in the world. Things that make your life worthwhile again.” 

Alec lifted his head from Magnus’s chest and stared in his eyes. “How did you become so wise?” 

“Once bitten, twice shy,” Magnus replied softly, “I had my share of loss. Lay back down and tell me about him. It helps. Just memories, let them flow from your mind.” 

“Remember him,” Alec whispered as he laid back down. Magnus felt Alec’s head rest where his heart beat. Then Alec started to speak in a soft, low voice. Shy at first, but as the story picked up, with more animation. 

“I was nine years old. My mother came into my room, her belly had gotten so big. I was worried cause I saw she moved with difficulty. “Are you in pain?” I asked her, “Is the baby coming soon?” She smiled down at me and sat at the edge of the bed. “I’ll be fine, Alec, don’t worry about me.” She said as she trailed her hand through my hair. “And I’m sure he’ll be here soon. I did it before, twice, as you know. Now sleep and who knows, tomorrow you’ll have a baby brother.” When I woke in the morning I hurried to her room, somehow knowing that he was there. She was sitting upright in the bed and Max was in her arms. I scrambled up the bed next to her and she wrapped her free arm around me. I looked over at him. He was so small, his skin so soft and pink, his fingers so tiny. “This is Maxwell,” mom said and she handed him to me. “I trust you, Alec. You can hold him.” He wasn’t heavy and as he lay in my arms he looked up at me. Dark eyes, dark hair. And I swear, even though it’s impossible for newborns, that he laughed at me then. 

“When he was one and started to walk, I followed him around everywhere. To prevent him from hurting himself. Isabelle and I would play with him all the time. We’d play house but Isabelle would ruin it because she didn’t want to be the mother. “Why do I always have to be the mom,” she would yell at me. “Because you are a girl,” I said, not understanding what her problem was. Girls, right? Max started to cry as Isabelle stomped off. I took him from the crib and rocked him in my arms. I remember what I said to him. “Don’t cry, Max. It’s not your fault. It’s just your mom being inexplicable as always.” He stared at me with those big brown eyes, shining with tears. “Don’t worry,” I said, “You’ll get used to it.” 

Magnus smiled at the sweet story and Alec fell silent for a moment. Just when Magnus wanted to nudge him to tell more, he spoke up again. 

“Max was two when Jace arrived, and he immediately loved him. Like he loved everybody. I was apprehensive at first. Jace was new and he brought some disorder to my organized  and tidy life. And Jace was hard and rough. I didn’t know yet that it was a defense mechanism, a shield. Once I was studying in my room and I heard Max cry. He was probably waking up from a nap and wanted out of bed. I walked out in the hallway to go to him but Jace had beaten me to it. I came to a stand at the threshold of Max’s room and watched, a bit anxious at first but that turned out to be unnecessary. Jace was standing over the crib and wiggling his fingers at Max. “Hi, little baby,” he said and he gingerly lifted Max and pulled him on his lap. He started to sing a weird little children’s song, bouncing Max up and down on his lap. Max was laughing so hard. When I close my eyes I can still hear the sound of it. As clear and fresh as rainwater in the spring. That’s when I decided to give Jace the benefit of the doubt. 

“Max was five, Jace and I were fourteen when we became parabatai. Jace had asked me and I told him I needed to think about it. It’s a serious thing, to become someone’s parabatai. You don’t make that decision lightly. Max came to my room that evening, it was way past his bedtime. “Alec,” he said, looking at me all serious, “You are going to say yes to him, right? Because I really think he needs you.” 

Alec’s voice shook and he stopped talking for a while. Magnus looked down at him and wiped away the tears that were starting to slide down Alec’s cheeks and he felt his heart break for the boy he loved.  

“ “You do?” I asked and he nodded. I send him back to bed but his words stuck with me and I felt he was right. Jace was crazy and suicidal, he did need me to have his back. So I agreed the next day. Max was ecstatic. “I knew you’d do it!” he said, his eyes shining happily behind the glasses he just got that week. When you become parabatai you need witnesses. Jace and I each chose two. My father and Isabelle were mine, my mother and Max were Jace’s. The fire trial was in Idris. It was the first time for Max to go there. He was so excited. About the parabatai oath, about the journey. We had such a good time during that trip. 

“It was not much later, when New York was caught in a very cold winter and we went ice skating in Central Park. Max was scared and he used a stool to keep him from slipping. Jace and I decided to help him. So we took away the stool and I was skating in front of him, squatted and backwards as he was holding on to my hands. Jace behind him, promising to catch him if he fell. “But you won’t fall,” I said to Max, “Because I’ve got you.” He learned to skate that winter and turned out to be better at it then the rest of us. 

“I think it was only last year, or was it two years ago that he had gotten a hold of my stele. I told you that, remember? I noticed it was missing but I was already too late. He was scrawling with it on the hardwood floor, leaving ugly black marks on the floor. “What are you doing?” I asked him, “You’re ruining the floor. Mom will be so mad.” “At you,” Max replied, “It’s your stele.” The little bugger. I knelt down and took it from him. “Why are you drawing on the floor, Max. You know that’s not what we use steles for.” “I was cold,” Max replied, “I wanted to heat up the floor.” “You wanted to light it on fire?” I asked. “No,” Max was looking at me over his glasses, looking so innocent. “I wanted to make the floor warmer for as I walk on it. My feet get cold.” “Then wear socks.” I said. He looked at me as if I were a complete idiot. “Socks, who wears socks?” he said and he got up and walked away, his head shaking in amazement at my ridiculous suggestion.” 

Alec had fallen silent. And Magnus was silent, too, for awhile. Thinking about Max and the beautiful, heartbreaking and funny stories Alec just told.  

“Thank you,” he whispered finally, “For telling me this.” He tightened his arms around Alec and they laid still for a long time, reveling in the calm and serene atmosphere that filled the room. 

 


	36. I Think I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for sexual content in this chapter

**Twenty first meet – part 3**  

 **I think I love you**  

 ** _Magnus_**  

Finally, Alec propped himself up on one elbow and stared into Magnus’ eyes. “Would it be totally inappropriate if I wanted to kiss you now?” he asked, “It would be like using you to feel a little less pain, it feels wrong.” 

Alec was always honest and open, and there was no lie in him, Magnus knew. He was seriously worried that Magnus would feel used. “You can kiss me,” Magnus whispered, “It’s okay, really.”  

He reached up and touched Alec’s cheek and pulled him down. Alec’s mouth came on his with a sudden urgency. As he parted his lips under the pressure, Magnus could feel all Alec’s pain and desperation in the kiss. Alec’s tongue entered his mouth, frantically exploring him. His hand came up to Magnus’ face and in a movement as quick as only a Shadowhunter could make, Alec rolled on top of him. Magnus wrapped his arms around him and pulled Alec to him. His hands sliding down Alec’s back, disappearing under the shirt Alec was wearing. He’d removed his shoes, jeans and sweater before stepping in the bed. Alec responded to Magnus’ touch by grounding his hips and pushing himself against him, a soft moan escaped his throat as he moved his mouth against Magnus’s.  

Magnus felt the heat flare up in his belly, feeling Alec on top of him, one of Alec’s hands in his hair, the other trailing down his body to the hem of his shirt and slipping underneath. Magnus moved his hands over Alec’s back, shaping the muscles and the scars there. Alec broke of the kiss then, propped himself up on his elbows and pulled his shirt over his head and discarded it. The next moment his mouth was on Magnus’s again, kissing him intently. Both his hands were under Magnus’ shirt now, pulling it upwards, which had as effect that Magnus’ bare chest was now pressed against Alec’s. Alec pulled away again, breathing hard, as he took off Magnus’ shirt. Magnus reached up with his hand and tucked some of Alec’s hair behind his ear. Alec’s eyes were dark with a passion that was mixed with pain. He hesitated and stared into Magnus’ eyes.  

“Are you okay? Is this okay?” he asked, suddenly sounding so young and vulnerable.  

“It’s okay for me,” Magnus said, “Is it okay for you?”  

Alec rolled off of him on his back, his chest heaving from the exertion, and stared to the ceiling. “I want to,” he said, his voice barely audible, “but not just because I want the pain to stop.” 

Magnus flipped to his side and trailed with his fingers patterns on Alec’s upper arm. “Why do you want it, then?” he asked softly.  

Alec turned his head and looked into Magnus’ eyes and held his gaze. “Because…” his voice dropped to a whisper, “I think I love you.” 

Out of all the things Alec could have said, Magnus had not expected this and his heart jumped in his chest, so wild that he gasped. Alec had offered to introduce him to his parents. Alec had turned to him when he was in pain. Alec had cried on his shoulder and told him stories about his brother. But telling him he loved him, Magnus had not anticipated that at all. For all he knew Alec was still hung up on Jace. The feeling of someone whom he loved really loving him back was thrilling.  

Magnus felt the blood rush through his veins and thought he was more alive now than he had been in the past four hundred years. His eyes began to shine and he felt a smile, too huge for such sad times, appear on his face. He stared in wonder at the beautiful boy in his bed, who seemed baffled by Magnus’ response, but then smiled back at him. And for all the world he didn’t think it was possible for Alec to smile today, but he did, and his face lit up as if someone had flipped on the light inside of him.  

Magnus lifted his hand, which was still on Alec’s arm and moved it to his cheek, caressing with his thumb over Alec’s cheekbone. “My Alec,” he whispered, surprised to find his own voice again, “I love you, too.” 

He bent forward and pressed his lips against Alec’s. Alec grabbed him and pulled him against his body. Magnus felt his heart stutter as their kiss intensified. Alec’s hands were on his back, sliding down over his spine until they landed on the waistband of his boxers. Magnus placed his hands on Alec’s, urging him on. Alec, encouraged by Magnus’s motion, slid his hands inside his boxers, slowly caressing Magnus’s butt and sliding down the boxer shorts over his hips. Magnus traveled his own hands down to Alec’s waist and copied his movement, undressing him. He felt Alec’s hand wrap around his cock and gasped.  

He placed his hand on Alec’s wrist. “Alec, let me do you first.” 

“No,” Alec said.  

His hands moved to Magnus’s shoulders and he made him lay back. He kissed him softly as his hand went back down. Magnus closed his eyes as Alec started to move over his length. Slowly at first, but then with more power and speed. Magnus couldn’t help but be surprised at how good Alec was at it. How he knew just the right amount of pressure and how he set the perfect pace. Magnus opened his eyes, wanting to see him as he came. Alec looked down at his hand around Magnus. Intent on the task. But he felt Magnus’s stare and suddenly lifted his head. He smiled at him and kissed him while moving even faster with his hand and Magnus started to shudder violently. He gasped and came with a loud moan, his back arching, his body falling apart while Alec continued to work on him until he was completely spent. He felt Alec smiling down on him, content with his work.  

“I can’t conjure up paper towels,” he finally said when Magnus opened his eyes. Magnus smiled and snapped his fingers. A box of tissues appeared next to them on the bed and Alec took one, cleaning Magnus’s belly with it. When he was done Magnus pulled him on top of him and kissed him. He roamed with his hands over Alec’s back and his butt cheeks, pinching them. Alec moaned against his mouth. Magnus gently pushed him over and started kissing his neck, down his throat and over his collarbone to his chest. With his hand he softly flicked Alec’s nipple which elicited a soft whimper from Alec. Magnus closed his lips around Alec’s other nipple and sucked on it. Alec arched his back at the touch and Magnus felt his hands on him, pushing him into the contact. He repeated the motion on Alec’s other nipple before his mouth traveled down over Alec’s stomach. Kissing his abs and his belly button.  

“I don’t have this.” Magnus mumbled against Alec’s stomach, “A belly button. It’s a conundrum for me.”  

Alec laughed a nervous laughter as Magnus continued to travel down with his mouth. He felt Alec suck in a breath when he moved his body between Alec’s legs and kissed his inner thigh. His hand was now gently cupping Alec as his lips moved to Alec’s erection. Slowly he licked across Alec’s length, listening to the Shadowhunter moan. He reached the tip and opened his mouth, softly sucking on it. Alec cried out and arched his back. His hand on Magnus’s shoulder, fingers digging in his skin. Magnus closed his fist around the base of Alec’s cock and took as much of him as he could in his mouth. As he sucked on him, his hand moved with him and Alec started to thrust a little. Magnus sucked him with all he was worth as Alec trashed and moaned and started to whimper, “I’m coming.” 

Magnus knew he meant to warn him to pull away, but he was not inclined to do that. Instead he added extra pressure until Alec came in his mouth. Alec’s release tasted sweet and salty and Aleccy. Magnus swallowed it all and let go then. He looked up at Alec’s face. He was lying with his head thrown back, his eyes closed. Magnus went to lay beside him and caressed his face. 

“I can’t believe you did that,” Alec said as he opened his eyes. “That was hot.” 

“I know,” Magnus replied, his eyes shining. “I loved it and I love you. You deserve it.” 

“I love you, too,” Alec said softly. “I don’t think it. I know it.”  


	37. Max's Funeral

####  _Alec_

It was getting late when Magnus conjured up supper. They ate in the bed and kissed some more afterwards. At one point Alec broke away from Magnus and said, “I need to go check on my parents, and Izzy and Jace. I don’t want to, but I have to.”

“It’s okay,” Magnus said, “I have to go, too. I have to be in New York.”

“You’re leaving?” Alec exclaimed.

“I’m sorry, Alexander, but I have to, I already stayed so much longer than I intended,” Magnus raised a hand and touched Alec’s cheek, “I promised Clary to wake her mum and I have to go do that, before all hell breaks loose. You get that, don’t you?”

Alec nodded, but he felt sad. “You’ll come back though, once she’s awake?”

“I’ll come back as soon as she opens her eyes. I’ll bring her with me, for Clary. And then I’ll be coming, looking for you.”

“It’s a deal,” Alec said and kissed him once more, before getting of the bed and putting his clothes back on.

He walked through the night back to the strange and unfamiliar house his family was staying in. He wanted to go home, to New York, where everything was familiar. Where he was happy and all his family members were alive. He knew that was in the past now. Forever bygone.

In the house he found his parents sitting next to Max’s body in the living room. It was as if they hadn’t moved at all. They barely looked up when he approached. He touched his little brother’s hair, then bend down and kissed him on the forehead. It felt so cold, so hard. Alec shuddered. Then he looked at his parents.

“You should try to get some sleep,” he said.

His mother looked up at him and smiled a sad smile. “It’s okay, Alec. You don’t have to take care of us.”

“Yes, I do,” Alec answered, “You are my parents. And I love you and I worry about you. You should go upstairs and try to sleep. Both of you.”

He walked to his parents and put a hand on his father’s shoulder. It took him some more coaxing but finally they got up and walked with him to the stairs. Upstairs Alec went to the bedroom he had chosen for himself earlier and went to lay in his bed. Thinking back on the stories he had told Magnus. About all the other stories of Max, still untold. And about all the stories that were supposed to come, but now never would.

* * *

 

Max’s funeral was worse than Alec thought it would be. They were only with the four of them at the Necropolis, because Isabelle had refused to come. Maryse and Robert hadn’t even tried to compel her.

Down at the Necropolis Max was laid down on a pyre. Shadowhunters burn their deaths. A Silent Brother performed the ceremony and a few words were said about Max.

Maryse started speaking. “My son, Maxwell, came as an unexpected present. Wonderful and curious he came to the world. He always wanted to know more and be in the middle of things. He was my little baby boy−” At that her voice broke and she started sobbing. Robert put an arm around her and she sagged back against him, crying uncontrollably.

Jace and Alec stood uncomfortably, waiting for her to calm down. When she grew still the Silent Brother asked Alec’s father to speak, but Robert just shook his head.

Then Alec spoke up.

“Max, my little brother. Wherever you are, know that I love you. And I will never stop loving you, even if you’re not here anymore to show it to you. I remember when you fell and scraped your knee. You came to me and I kissed it and bandaged it. “Can’t you give me a healing rune?” you asked, not quite understanding that you were too young to bear runes. I said you had to be brave and bear it, because that’s what Lightwoods do. You nodded, looking at me all serious. And you said. “I’ll be brave, like you are.”And you were. This is my pledge to you today. I will try to be brave now. To bear it now. To be without you from now on. But it’s going to be the hardest thing I ever have to do. Yet we are Lightwoods, you and I. We can do it. We will be brave.”

He looked down at his brother and then at his parents standing opposite the marble table on which Max’s body lay. He saw they were both crying. Tears slowly sliding down their cheeks. He glanced to Jace, standing next to him.

Jace coughed and then started to speak. “For Max the world was his oyster. He was full of enthusiasm and curiosity, taking each day as an advantage. I loved playing with him. Alec and I, we  taught him how to ride a bike, how to skate. He always wanted to know and learn. The little scholar.” Jace lifted his head and looked to Alec and then to his parents. “I never had any family until you took me in. And I am so grateful for everything you’ve given me. Parents. A brother, a parabatai. A sister.” Jace’s voice shook and he stared at Max. “And Max, he was my little brother as much as he was yours. I lost one of mine. And it is not something I can ever get used to or ever be okay with. He was wonderful. And this hurts like hell.”

Alec didn’t think he had ever heard Jace talk about his feeling so openly before. He looked at him as the Silent Brother cited Callutus in Latin. When he was finished they repeated the final words.

“Ave Atque Vale, Maxwell Lightwood.”

Then Robert took a torch and lit the pyre. Alec watched with dry eyes but a burning heart when the smoke gathered and rose up to the sky. Jace, next to him was shaking, and Alec reached out and grabbed his hand, holding tight. Jace squeezed back as they both stared up into the sky, watching the smoke rise. It burned his eyes.

When it was done, his parents told them they wanted to stay there alone for awhile, so Alec and Jace returned to the house, trying to get Isabelle to come down and eat something. She refused. They finally gave up and retreated to the living room as the doorbell rang and Clary and Simon showed up.

* * *

 

It was hard, Alec thought, to mourn when there was so much going on. Clary had told them about Valentine and how he had made an ultimatum. There was going to be a fight. A big one. Tomorrow, at midnight. Alec’s parents had gone to the Hall of Accords to discuss what they were going to do. There was a chance that Downworlders would come and help them fight. But that was something that made Shadowhunters suspicious. Alec could imagine how the discussion was going in the Hall. Probably they were going around in circles. Wondering whether Downworlders could be trusted or if it was better to give in to Valentine. He hoped they weren’t really going to consider that option.

He was lying in his bed, tossing and turning until he’d finally had enough of it. He got up, put on some clean clothes and headed for the street. To Angel Lane. Magnus wouldn’t be there, but at least some of his stuff would be. He’d rather be there than here in this strange house. Simon was in Izzy’s room with her -  what they were doing? Alec didn’t know and didn’t want to know. And Jace had left, saying he was going for a walk. There was nothing that was keeping Alec here.

When he arrived at the door of Magnus’s temporary house he realized he didn’t have a key. He laid his hand on the doorknob, praying it wasn’t locked, when the door flew open automatically. As if he was supposed to be there. He walked in and went straight for the bedroom. There he undressed and crawled under the yellow comforter. It smelled like Magnus. Alec inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. _I’m going to be brave_ he told himself over and over again until he fell asleep.


	38. The Alliance Rune

**Twenty Second Meet**

_**Magnus** _

As soon as Magnus and Jocelyn arrived in Idris, just outside Alicante, Magnus shooed Jocelyn off to the house Clary was staying in and hurried to Angel Lane. He didn’t know for sure if Alec would be there or if he’d be in the Lightwoods residence. They had just had his little brother’s funeral yesterday, they’d probably want to be together and support each other. Magnus wasn’t sure though, so he decided to first check out the mansion at Angel Lane.

He entered the house, checked the living room, which turned out empty and hurried up the stairs. In the master bedroom he saw instantly the bump under the yellow comforter, and black hair splayed out on the pillow.

“Alec?” he asked, as he approached the bed. The comforter moved as Alec shifted upright, his hair rumpled, a sleepy look in his eyes.

“You’re back!” He sat up entirely, the comforter slid to his waist as he reached his hands out to Magnus as if he were a small child. Magnus strode to the bed in two large steps and engulfed his boyfriend in a warm and tight embrace. He felt Alec’s head rest against his shoulder and his breath tickle the bare skin of his throat. Alec held him tight for a long time, and Magnus could tell by the tension in his shoulders that he was in pain. He smoothed over Alec’s hair and whispered in his ear, “It’s okay, baby, I’m here.”

When Alec finally lifted his head he pressed his lips against Magnus’ jaw, trailing slowly towards his mouth. Their lips met and they kissed, soft and tender. Alec nibbled at Magnus’ lower lip and he parted them to carefully slid his tongue inside. Magnus replied by swirling his tongue around Alec’s. With the kiss the tension left Alec’s shoulder and Magnus felt him relax against him. He rubbed his back, drawing circles with his strong hands, wanting to comfort him.

Finally, they broke off the kiss and Magnus stared in his boyfriends beautiful blue eyes. “Are you okay?” he whispered. Alec slowly shook his head, “Not really.”

“How was it, yesterday?”

“Awful. My mother…” his voice trailed off. Magnus took his hand and squeezed it. Then he put the comforter aside and slid into the bed next to Alec. “Yes?” he asked, coaxing Alec to go on.

“She was so broken, I’ve never seen her so broken,” Alec stammered, “My father seems in some sort of shock, I haven’t heard him speak a word. Isabelle is still locked inside her room. I don’t know, it’s a mess. I felt alone in that strange house. After a sleepless night I found myself wandering here. And the door opened for me, so I thought I’d stay here and wait for you.”

“Well, I’m here now,” Magnus said, wrapping his arm around Alec and smoothing Alec against his shoulder.

“Please hold me and stay,” Alec whispered.

“Always,” Magnus replied and pressed his lips on top of Alec’s hair. “Always,” he repeated.

They laid like that for a while. Then Alec said, “You know, as much as I’d like to lay in this bed and pretend there’s nothing going on, I think we should go the Hall of Accords. Have you heard about the ultimatum?”

Magnus nodded. While in New York he had called upon as many of his friends to come to Idris and join the fight against Valentine. Luke’s pack was already in Idris, but more Downworlders had followed their example, warlocks and faeries. Even Raphael was on his way with his clan. The Downworlders were willing to fight with the Shadowhunters, knowing their fate if Valentine would win. “I wonder if the Clave will let the Downworlders join,” he muttered.

“If they’re smart, they’ll let you fight with us. It’s the only way to stand a chance.” Alec said.

“I think you’re right. Let’s go, then,” Magnus said.

He got up and dressed in plain black trousers, matching Alec’s gear, and a long black coat which he buttoned up to the throat. He pulled his hair back and bound it together at the back of his neck. That’s when he caught Alec staring at him.

“What is it?” he asked.

“You look so-” Alec shook his head, “Different.”

“Not good?” Magnus asked, arching his eyebrows.

“No, it’s fine. Very natural, I like it.” Alec smiled a shy smile at him and Magnus smiled back, watching as Alec strapped his bow to his back.

“I’m glad you like it. I’m expecting a fight, so I dress accordingly.” He said and took Alec’s hand. “You ready?”

On their way to the Hall they bumped into Isabelle and Simon. Isabelle looked surprised to see Magnus but her attention was on Alec. “Where were you? We were looking for you.”

“I was with Magnus,” Alec replied and Magnus felt a wave of affection for him. That he was saying this and acknowledging him, he still wasn’t used to it.

“Okay,” Izzy said and she cast Magnus an appreciative glance before she looked back to Alec. “Did you know Jace is gone? He went to track Sebastian.” Izzy looked upset and Magnus saw the tension in Alec’s face.

“Why didn’t he say so or take me with him?” Alec said, disconcerted.

Isabelle sighed dramatically. “You know how he is, Alec. He’s protecting us by going alone. He wouldn’t want you to be hurt.”

“Pff,” Alec let out a breath, frustrated.

Isabelle looked annoyed, patience wasn’t her forte. “Now, come on, we were on or way to the Hall, mom will be there.”

“We were heading up there, too,” said Alec.

In front of the Hall they found Maryse, who regarded Magnus with a bit of suspicion, but she didn’t say anything. She looked exhausted and very sad. Magnus was thinking of giving her his condolences, but she grabbed Alec’s arm and started talking before he could say anything. “Alec, honey, you know Jace left?”

“Izzy told me,” Alec answered. “I can’t believe he didn’t say anything to us.” He bent forward and kissed his mother on the cheek, which was very sweet. “What’s going on?” His head indicated the Hall, the noise from inside of it audible.

“Let’s go check it out, instead of standing here,” Isabelle said impatient, and turned for the doors. Everyone followed her inside, where it was a beehive. Magnus noticed Clary up at the dais in the front of the Hall. She was talking to the Consul, explaining to him how she destroyed Valentine’s ship. Her voice rang over the Hall.

“I did it with a rune. It was a rune so strong it made the ship come apart in pieces. I can create new runes. Not just the ones in the Gray Book. Runes no one’s ever seen before—powerful ones—”

“That’s enough,” said the Consul, Malachi. “This is ridiculous. No one can create new runes. It’s a complete impossibility.” He turned around, facing the crowd. Magnus saw a menacing look in his eyes. “Like her father, this girl is nothing but a liar.”

“She’s not lying.” Alec, next to Magnus, spoke up loud and clear. Magnus turned and looked at him, feeling awed that Alec would stand up for Clary like this. He sounded so strong and purposeful. “I’ve seen her create a rune. She even used it on me. It worked.”

Magnus was tempted to grab his hand and squeeze it, but Maryse was standing right next to them, so he fought back the urge.

“You’re lying,” said the Consul, though he looked doubtful. “To protect your friend—”

“Really, Malachi,” Maryse’s voice sounded hard. “Why would my son lie about something like this, when the truth can so easily be discovered? Give the girl a stele and let her create a rune.”

Someone reached forward and handed Clary a stele. She looked into the crowd, uncertain. Magnus saw her gaze go in their direction and land on Simon, who was standing next to Isabelle. Her uncertainty vanished and determination took its place. She held the stele to her wrist and started to draw. This is how love works, Magnus thought, she looked at Simon, saw his faith in her and that was all she needed to proceed. Magnus glanced at Alec next to him and knew it was the same for him. With Alec at his side, he felt he could face anything, even the hardest tasks. Alec made him strong.

Suddenly a hush fell over the room and Magnus hastily looked back at the dais. To his utter surprise Clary was gone and Alec was standing there in her stead. This couldn’t be right. Magnus instantly turned his head to see Alec standing next to him. _What?_ Alec, too, turned around and looked at Magnus in utter surprised. “Why am I seeing you?” He whispered.

Magnus shook his head staring from the dais to Alec and back. Then realization dawned on him. “It’s the rune,” he said slowly, “It makes us see someone else.”

“It makes you see the person you love the most,” said a voice at his side and Magnus turned to see Jocelyn standing next to him. “Because everyone is seeing someone else but I still see Clary.” Jocelyn said.

Magnus nodded, he thought as much. He glanced at Alec who was getting red and looked uncomfortable. Magnus felt his heart contract, thinking Alec felt exposed. “You’re the only one who sees it,” he hastily said, to comfort Alec, “Everyone sees someone else.”

Alec nodded and looked sideways at his mother. Maryse didn’t seem to notice her son, she was staring white faced at Clary, tears in her eyes. If Jocelyn saw Clary, then it wasn’t hard to guess who Maryse was seeing. It made Magnus’s heart ache, thinking about what Alec had said about his mother. How she had broken down and cried at Max’s funeral. He always thought Maryse was a cold person, strong and hard as ice. But the part of her that was a mother seemed different to him, softer.

The power of the rune was wearing off and when Magnus turned back to look at the dais, Alec was gone and he saw Clary again. She pleaded her case to them, saying they needed to fight against Valentine, not give in to him. Her eyes were shining, her hair waving around her like a halo of fire. She looked so fierce. So much strength in such a little girl. Magnus begun to understand why Jace, who was so arrogant and strong, would be attracted to her. She had guts. She explained about a rune she had created that was able to combine forces. The force of a Shadowhunter combined with the force of a Downworlder. Each Shadowhunter must find a Downworlder to fight with them. They both would be marked and then they could share each other’s power. The toughness of the werewolves, the speed of the vampires, the magic of warlocks, the swiftness of fairies combined with the strength, the training and the determination of Shadowhunters.

Magnus thought Clary made a good case for herself, but of course the Shadowhunters felt it necessary to discuss it in length. It took them forever to finally decide to give it a chance. When the green light was given the Downworlders, warlocks, werewolves and faeries, who had gathered together outside the city, were called to come in. The Hall, which was already so filled with people got even more crowded as the Downworlders entered. 

Magnus stood regarding the weird scene of Downworlders and Shadowhunters, cautiously mixing, when the faerie knight Meliorn approached him. “Well met, Magnus Bane,” he inclined his head, speaking in the formal tone of the Seelie Court. “What is this mayhem? I heard we are supposed to be Marked. But I thought Downworlders couldn’t bare Marks. My people are suspicious.”

“Let’s go to Clary,” Magnus suggested, “I’m sure she can explain how it works.”

They approached the dais where Clary was sitting, Jocelyn and Luke standing beside her. Magnus caught Clary staring at him, similar to how Alec had stared at him earlier in his house.

“You look so plain,” Clary said, staring.

Magnus smiled faintly. “I heard you had a rune to show us,” he said.

Clary looked at Luke, who nodded. “Oh, yes,” she said. “I just need something to write on—some paper.”

It turned out the rune had to be put on you by the one you were fighting with. Jocelyn marked Luke in front of them to please Meliorn, who seemed only a little bit less suspicious after seeing the Mark didn’t harm Luke.

The rune was copied on paper and passed through the crowd as everyone was getting ready for the battle. Luke asked Magnus if he could set up a portal at the square. Magnus affirmed that it was possible and looked at Clary then, smiling a crooked smile at her.

Clary leaned forward in the chair she was sitting in and whispered, “Thanks, by the way. For everything you did for my mom.”

Magnus felt his smile widen. “You didn’t think I was going to do it, did you?”

“I wondered,” Clary admitted. “Especially considering that when I saw you at the cottage, you didn’t even see fit to tell me that Jace brought Simon through the Portal with him when he came to Alicante. I didn’t have a chance to yell at you about that before, but what were you thinking? That I wouldn’t be interested?”

“That you’d be too interested,” said Magnus. “That you’d drop everything and go rushing off to the Gard. And I needed you to look for the Book of the White.”

“That’s ruthless,” Clary said, Magnus heard a tinge of anger in her voice. “And you’re wrong. I would have—”

“Done what anyone would have done.” Still smiling at her, he added, “What I would have done if it were someone I cared about. I don’t blame you, Clary, and I didn’t do it because I thought you were weak. I did it because you’re human, and I know humanity’s ways. I’ve been alive a long time.”

“Like you never do anything stupid because you have feelings,” Clary said. “Where’s Alec, anyway? Why aren’t you off choosing him as your partner right now?”

Magnus winced. “I wouldn’t approach him with his parents there. You know that.”

Clary propped her chin on her hand. “Doing the right thing because you love someone sucks sometimes.”

“It does,” Magnus said, “at that.”


	39. Out of the Closet and into the World

**Twenty Second Meet**

_**Alec** _

In all the commotion Magnus had left and Alec couldn’t find him. He wanted him to become his partner for the fight, but looking over the crowd, all he saw was a blur of people. Isabelle showed up at his side with Simon. “Alec, Simon has to tell us something,” she said, breathless.

He looked down at his sister, exasperated. “Really, Izzy? Now? Can’t it wait? You do know we’re in the middle of a war.”

“Just hear me out,” Simon cut in and launched a story he heard from Clary who in turn had heard it from Jocelyn. It turned out Jace wasn’t Valentine’s son. Valentine had adopted him and raised him as his own until he dumped him on the Lightwoods. Sebastian, however, turned out to be Valentine’s real son and Clary’s real brother. He wasn’t Sebastian after all. His real name was Jonathan Morgenstern. Alec heard it all with only half a mind, his eyes scanning the crowd. Where was Magnus?

Isabelle was ecstatic, grabbing his hand. “Alec, did you hear what Simon said? Jace isn’t Valentine’s son. He never was.”

“So whose son is he?” Alec replied, as he tuned in on someone tall with black hair, who turned out to be a faerie.

“Who cares!” Isabelle said, throwing her hands up. “Actually, that’s a good point. Who was his father? Michael Wayland after all?”

“Stephen Herondale,” said Simon.

“So he was the Inquisitor’s grandson,” Alec said. “That must be why she—” He broke off as his eye caught another figure who might be Magnus.

“Why she what?” Isabelle demanded. “Alec, pay attention. Or at least tell us what you’re looking for.”

“Not what,” said Alec. “Who. Magnus. I wanted to ask him if he’d be my partner in the battle. But I’ve no idea where he is. Have you seen him?” he asked, directing his question at Simon.

Simon shook his head. “He was up on the dais with Clary, but he’s not now. He’s probably in the crowd somewhere.”

“Really? Are you really going to ask him to be your partner?” Isabelle asked. “It’s like a cotillion, this partners business, except with killing.”

“So, exactly like a cotillion,” said Simon.

“Maybe I’ll ask you to be my partner, Simon,” Isabelle said.

At that Alec whirled on her. “Isabelle, you don’t need a partner, because you’re not fighting. You’re too young. And if you even think about it, I’ll kill you.” Out of the corner of his eyes he thought he saw something familiar and his head jerked up, staring. “Wait—is that Magnus?”

Isabelle, following his gaze, snorted. “Alec, that’s a werewolf. A girl werewolf. In fact, it’s what’s-her-name. May.”

“Maia,” Simon corrected but Alec stopped listening because he saw Magnus, standing tall behind the werewolf girl.

“There’s Magnus,” he said and he felt his face lit up and started walking in his direction. Magnus looked at him now, and Alec saw he was surprised that Alec was approaching him. He didn’t want that. He wanted Magnus to expect him, he wanted Magnus to know he was not afraid anymore. That he didn’t care if people saw them together. He was a Lightwood. He was brave.

“Magnus,” he said as he reached him, “Do you want to partner with me. In the battle, I mean.”

Magnus looked down at him, his cat eyes shining. “If you’re sure?” he asked, sounding uncertain.

“Of course I’m sure,” Alec said, badly wanting to reassure Magnus that he was okay with it. Okay with being his partner. Even more so, okay with being gay and with being his boyfriend. He wasn’t going to hide himself in regret anymore.

Magnus held out his hand to him. “If you’re sure then I’d love to be your partner.”

Alec took his hand in his and held out his stele. “I hope it won’t hurt,” he said, “It might sting a little.”

“I think I can handle it,” Magnus said, smiling.

Alec bent over Magnus’s hand and started drawing the Alliance rune on Magnus’s wrist. When he was done he copied it on his own and placed his palm against Magnus’s. Together the Marks looked like a single knot.

“Cute,” Magnus said, “Like matching tattoos.”

Alec looked up in his eyes and saw Magnus still wasn’t entirely comfortable. It was the look in his eyes that made up Alec’s mind. He was going to make a statement now. They were going off to battle and who knew what would happen. People could get hurt, people could die. He might, his parents might. The idea of another person in his family dying without really knowing who he was, was unbearable for Alec. Without thinking twice, Alec put his arms around Magnus and pulled him close. Magnus froze at the gesture but Alec didn’t recoil. Instead he pressed his mouth hard against Magnus and kissed him with eagerness, parting his lips with his own. He heard a hush and saw from the corner of his eyes that people were staring at them but he didn’t care. Instead he drew Magnus closer to him, pressing his body against him as he slowly slid his tongue in Magnus’s mouth. And Magnus unfroze and kissed him back. His arms drew up, his hands on Alec’s hips as they kissed.

Alec finally broke away and stared into Magnus’s eyes. He felt the blood flood on his cheeks but he was smiling and Magnus’s eyes were shining as he smiled back. “You never cease to amaze me, Alec,” he said.

“Good.” Alec said and looked around. A little away from them stood his parents, gaping. His mother had her hand clasped on her mouth. He looked at them squarely and then at Isabelle. He saw the awe in her eyes and she smiled widely at him, holding both her thumbs up. He smiled back and turned to Magnus again. “Okay, that was that. Now what?”

Magnus had composed himself and looked serious. “Now I have to go make a portal to Brocelind Plain. Are you ready to do this?”

Magnus set up the portal and was whisked away by Isabelle, who inexplicably needed to talk to him. Alec watched them as they walked away and then looked around the square. He saw his father approaching him, a burly werewolf at his side. They both had the Alliance rune on their wrist.

“I don’t quite understand what happened just now,” Robert said to him, “But I suppose you can explain it after the battle.”

“There’s nothing to explain,” Alec answered as he looked his father squarely in the eyes. “I’m gay and I’m dating Magnus Bane.”

His father’s head jerked back and a disapproving look came on his face. He shook his head, “Alec,” he started but Alec interrupted him.

“You should go,” he indicated the portal with his head. “Be careful, don’t get killed.”

His father’s features changed from disapproval to worry. “You, too, Alexander. I know you’re an adult now and you have to fight. But-” His voice shook and he put a hand on Alec’s arm. “I can’t lose you, too.”

“I know,” Alec nodded, “Magnus has got my back. Now go.”

His father entered the portal with the werewolf as Magnus came back, smiling at him. “You’re in a good mood,” Alec noticed. “What did Izzy want?”

“Oh nothing,” Magnus said, “And yes, I’m in a good mood. My boyfriend just kissed me in front of a bunch of Shadowhunters.” He laughed, “Did you see their faces? There’s nothing I like more than a little debauchery.”

“Debauchery,” Alec repeated laughing. “What kind of word is that, even?”

More and more couples went through the portal and Magnus claimed finally that they could pass too. Alec took his hand and they jumped, landing in the grass in Brocelind Plain. The air around them buzzed with pre-battle excitement. Alec felt his own nerves tense up too as adrenaline coursed through him, together with another strange electric energy.

“I feel different,” he said to Magnus.

“Me, too,” Magnus said, “Stronger, somehow. I guess that rune is working.”

And then, seemingly out of nothing, demons appeared and the fight started. Alec took his bow and spanned an arrow in it. Taking meticulous aim and let it fly. The arrow soared through the sky, sparks of blue magic pushing it onwards until it sunk into an ugly yellow demon’s chest. The demon exploded and vanished back to its own dimension. Magnus, beside Alec was throwing blue balls of fire with great force at another demon approaching them. Alec felt invigorated as he drew back for another arrow. One by one he let them fly, each of them hitting a target. Alec never thought fighting could be so enthralling. He didn’t feel fear, he felt brave and wired with Magnus’s magic.

They were well into the fight when he suddenly felt a sharp pang at his side. His parabatai rune flared up for a second and it felt as if a cord was cut in half. He drew in a sharp breath and lifted up his jacket, staring down at his abdomen.

Magnus twirled around, aware of Alec’s sudden distraction. “What’s going on?” he asked, anxious. “Alec, watch out!”

Magnus sent a blue spark flying over Alec’s head to a winged demon, which was stretching its talons toward them. The demon exploded and Alec dropped his jacket, reaching for a seraph blade. “Sorry,” he shouted at Magnus over the noise of the fight. “There’s something wrong with my rune. It’s Jace! But-”

Another demon appeared behind Magnus and Alec jumped forward, pushing Magnus behind him and slashed out with his blade, cutting the demon in half. “Can’t do anything about it now,” he yelled, “No time.”

Magnus nodded, although he looked concerned. But Alec knew he was right, there was no time to be spend on runes acting weird. Another demon descended on them. Magnus dispatched of it and they turned together, moving in sync, guarding each other’s backs as the fight continued.

From above a demon came flying at them, and Alec reached up his sword to cut at it, but he couldn’t reach it. “Magnus, above us,” he yelled. But before Magnus could react the demon suddenly howled and recoiled, flying away from them.

“What was that?” Magnus asked. They looked around, exhausted from the fight, to gaze at the scene in front of them. It seemed as if the demons were retreating, weakened by an invisible force.

“Valentine’s hold on them is gone,” Magnus said, “And the wards are doing their work again.” Alec nodded as he stabbed at a gray wormlike monster skittering on the ground towards them. The demon didn’t even try to put up a fight but disappeared as soon as the seraph blade touched him.

Not long after that every demon was vanished and only Shadowhunters and Downworlders remained. “I can’t believe it,” Alec said, “But it looks like it’s over.”

At that moment he saw his mother doom up, with a tall faerie woman next to her. “Alexander,” she yelled and ran towards him, pulling him in her arms. “Are you okay? Not hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Alec said, “And you?”

She drew back and looked in his eyes, her blue eyes shining as she nodded. “This was a strange fight,” she said, “Meet Melodie, my partner. She’s so swift and agile!”

Alec was surprised to hear the excitement in his mother’s voice as he held out his hand to the faerie, who shook it, smiling a sweet smile at him.

“I’m Melodie,” she said and it sounded like a melody.

“Alec,” he replied. Magnus came to stand next to him and inclined his head at the faerie and Maryse.

“Magnus,” Maryse said, turning to him, “I take it you’re not hurt either?”

Alec’s eyebrows arched upwards as did Magnus’s. Alec hadn’t expected his mother to be interested in Magnus’s wellbeing, calling him by his first name.

“I’m fine, thank you.” Magnus replied but before he could say anything else there was a commotion and the next moment Isabelle was there, panting heavily.

“Mom, Alec. You need to come. Jace is at Lake Lynn. Valentine’s summoning an Angel. We need to go, Jace is wounded and needs help. I’ve already called upon others and a handful of them, including dad, are on horseback now, riding to the Lake, but-”

Isabelle fell silent, catching her breath.

“I’ll portal us there,” Magnus said.

* * *

At the lake they found Clary with an unconscious Jace. Alec wondered if that was the reason he had felt his rune snap, but he wasn’t sure.

Isabelle had filled them in on the way, telling them Jace had killed Sebastian. “And I have to thank you Magnus, for that spell you cast on my whip,” she said.

“What?” Alec asked, looking at Magnus astonished. “What’s she talking about?”

Magnus smiled at him apologetically. “I gave it to her as a birthday present to you. A little extra kick on her whip so she’d be safe.”

“And it worked,” Isabelle said, “I cut off Sebastian’s hand with it.”

They had reached Jace and Clary and Alec knelt down at his parabatai’s side. “Jace,” he said, “Can you hear me?”

Jace didn’t react and Magnus squatted down beside Alec, examining him quickly. “What happened, Clary?”

Clary told them that Valentine had wounded Jace with the Soul Sword. Magnus frowned, “It seems as if he’s been drained out. We need to get him to the hospital.”

They portalled back to Alicante and Alec and Magnus brought Jace to the hospital, leaving him to the care of the Silent Brothers.

“We’ll come back tomorrow,” Magnus said, “And I’ll see what I can do. For now I need to catch up on my own rest, otherwise I’ll be worthless.”

Alec nodded. “I’m going with you.”

Back at Magnus’s house they stumbled up the stairs and into the bed. As soon as Alec’s head hit the pillow, he was vast asleep.


	40. Fluorescent

**Twenty Third Meet**

**_Magnus_ **

Magnus woke up to the sun shining in his face. He opened his eyes and realized they had failed to close the curtains last night, when they’d come home. Too exhausted to do anything but fall on the bed and sleep. He turned around in the bed and looked at Alec lying next to him. He was sleeping. It was the first time, Magnus thought, that he was up before Alec in the morning.

Alec looked young and very pretty in the sunlight. His lashes incredibly long, brushing the soft skin under his eyes. His hair disheveled. He had one arm lying over the covers and Magnus appreciated the swell of his biceps visible where his shirt rode up almost to his shoulder. A black permanent Mark swirling down from there, following the line of the muscle.

Magnus wondered why Alec was here, why he hadn’t gone home with his parents. Something had happened to Alec while in Idris. Something that had awakened him somehow. The determination with which he had kissed Magnus in the Hall of Accords yesterday had shown that. And again last night his decision to come with Magnus, instead of heading home. What would his parents think? Alec didn’t seem to care about that, he was free and made his own decisions on his own terms. It made Magnus extremely happy.

He propped himself up on one elbow and carefully smoothed Alec’s hair back over his forehead. Alec moved at the touch but didn’t wake up. Magnus felt a rush of affection looking down at him, his heart swelling. _How much I love you._

It must be half way through the morning, judging by the light. Magnus sat up and stretched, thinking about last night and Jace. He remembered Alec’s distraction during the fight, something wrong with his parabatai rune. Magnus hadn’t liked the way Jace had looked when they found him at the shore of Lake Lynn. He wanted to go to the hospital to check on him, see if he could find what it was that kept nagging in the back of his head. Something was wrong.

He jumped out of the bed, suddenly impatient, and headed for the shower. Wearing only a fluorescent pair of tight fitting shorts, he walked back into the bedroom ten minutes later. Alec had his eyes open and stared at him, blinking. “Ouch,” he said, his voice hoarse from sleep, “That color hurts my eyes.”

“You want me to take it off?” Magnus inquired, quirking up an eyebrow.

Alec laughed. “No,” he said while sitting up. “Come here, I’ll take it off.”

Magnus walked up to the bed, smiling down at his boyfriend and cupped his chin. “I’d love it, truly. But I want to go check on Jace. See if he’s woken up.”

The laughter went out of Alec’s eyes and he nodded. “Yeah, of course. Can I come?  I want to know, too.”

“Of course you can come, why are you asking me?” Magnus said. He bent over and pressed a kiss on Alec’s lips. “But I’ll take a rain check on you taking off my shorts,” he said.

They got dressed and headed to the hospital. Next to Jace’s room Magnus found brother Zachariah, looking through the window. Magnus followed his gaze to see Maryse Lightwood sitting next to Jace on a chair. Alec walked into the room and approached his mother.

“You’ve been here all night?” He asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah,” Maryse looked up at her son, looking extremely tired. “I couldn’t leave him alone, not knowing what might happen to him.”

Magnus looked at brother Zachariah. “He’s been like this all night? No changes?”

 _Nothing._ The voice of brother Zachariah echoed in Magnus’s head. Silent Brothers didn’t speak, they communicated with the mind.

“You sound worried,” Magnus said, surprised. He didn’t know Silent Brothers could worry, to begin with. Then again, this was Zachariah, he wasn’t like the other brothers.

 _He’s a Herondale. Of course I’m worried._ Zachariah spoke. _Will’s descendant. And Tessa’s._ Magnus heard by the way he said those names, how much Zachariah loved them. In life, Will had been his parabatai. And Tessa. Well, Tessa and her boys. It was a weird triangle. They all had loved each other so much.

“You were a parabatai once,” he said, “Alec felt something with his rune yesterday. What could that mean?”

Zachariah turned his head towards him, barely visible underneath the hood of his parchment colored cape.

_What did he feel? It could be that Jace was wounded, but it’s not normal to feel anything if the other is wounded. That would be too much of an inconvenience during a fight. Will felt it when I turned to become a Silent Brother. And I felt it when he died. A snap. As if a cord was cut. But it was muted by my Brotherhood Runes._

“I don’t know what he felt, you’d have to ask him,” Magnus said and looked at Alec. Alec had pulled his mother from the chair, telling her to go home and get some sleep.

“I’ll stay with Jace,” he said. Maryse obediently walked to the door where she came to a stop to regard Magnus and Zachariah.

“I’m going home now,” she said to Zachariah. “You’ll let me know when he wakes or when something’s wrong?”

Zachariah nodded and Maryse turned to Magnus. “And you, if you can do anything? Anything at all, to wake up my son. I’ll pay you for it.”

Magnus looked into the blue eyes, so similar to Alec’s, but paled with grief and exhaustion. “You don’t have to pay me anything. I’ll do what I can for Jace.”

She nodded and walked away, her heels clicking softly on the linoleum hospital floor. Magnus and Zachariah entered the room and walked towards the bed. Magnus put his hand on Jace’s forehead and whispered a revealing spell, trying to find out what it was that kept Jace unconscious. Zachariah turned to Alec.

_Magnus told me you felt something with the parabatai rune last night?_

Alec nodded. He sat in the chair where Maryse had sat earlier, holding Jace’s hand. “It was during the fight. It all happened really fast. I felt the rune flare up, suddenly, and pain in my stomach. And I knew something was wrong with Jace, but I didn’t know what.”

 _Very strange indeed,_ said brother Zachariah, _I don’t know what it might entail. Can you find anything, Magnus Bane?_

Magnus lifted his head and nodded. “He is drained. Not just physically, but psychologically, too. However, I do expect him to wake up soon.”

His eyes met Alec’s, who looked relieved. “That’s good to know."

He let go of Jace's hand and stood up. "I’m going to get us some coffee, okay?”

Alec left and Zachariah went after him. They just left the room when Jace stirred and opened his eyes. Magnus hovered over him and looked intently in his eyes. Worried and curious what he would find in them.

“Magnus?” Jace spoke, and he sounded absurdly normal. “What are you doing here?”

Magnus shook his head, exasperated. “Enjoying the scenery,” he replied. “How are you feeling? Any pain in the chest?”

Jace looked down at his bandaged chest and touched it gingerly. “Not really,” he said, “Though I feel a bit worn out.”

“I’d say so,” Magnus said. “I’ve investigated you carefully. Clary told me what happened. How Valentine cut you and the Angel healed you. But though you’re physically healed, your spirit and mind are exhausted to the point where only rest can heal you. You have to stay in bed today.”

“Jace!” Alec appeared in the doorway, holding two cups of coffee. “You’re awake!”

He hasted inside, handed one cup to Magnus and bend over his parabatai. “How are you feeling?”

“Frustrated,” Jace answered, “Magnus told me I’m not allowed to leave.”

“Of course not,” Alec said, “You nearly died. You can’t expect to get up and walk out after that.”

“Well, why not. We should party now that we won the war,” Jace said.

Magnus nodded. “You’re right. We should,” he looked around in the small hospital room, “Now who’s the head of the party committee. I have some great decoration ideas.”

Alec looked at him incredulously but Jace laughed. “Now we’re talking.”

Magnus left them alone, after saying he’d send someone to the Lightwoods to tell them Jace had woken up. He meant what he said. After a war it was only normal to celebrate. And he was one of the best when it came to parties. He was going to host this one.


	41. A Thousand Colored Stars Raining Down on Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers the epilogue of City of Glass. Also there is explicit sexual content M/M in this chapter so consider yourself warned.  
> In this chapter I've taken the liberty to change canon a bit. In CoLS Aline Penhallow comes to thank Alec for kissing Magnus in the Hall of Accords for everyone to see. However, I felt that scene was a bit out of place there, because everyone is very upset because Jace is missing. I think here it gets the attention it needs. So I really hope you guys don't mind me tweaking canon a bit.

**Twenty Fourth Meet**

_**Alec** _

Alec had just finished showering and was putting on a clean sweater when he heard a knock on his bedroom door. “Come in,” he said. 

The door opened and Aline Penhallow entered. He looked at her in surprise, not expecting her in their house after the fit his mother had thrown the night Max died. 

“Hi,” Aline said, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to disturb you. But I wondered if I could talk to you.” 

“Of course,” Alec said, sitting down on his bed and indicating for her to take the chair. She sat down and smiled at him nervously. “I’m sure you wonder why I’m here,” she began. “My parents are downstairs talking with yours. And I thought I’d come with them because I wanted to thank you.” 

“To thank me?” Alec was astounded and searched his memory for something he could have done for Aline that made her want to thank him. 

“Yes. You don’t know it, but I saw you kissing the warlock. You have no idea how much that meant.” 

She looked at him, expectantly, but Alec was even more confused. How could him kissing Magnus be important for Aline? 

“I’m gay,” she finally said, when he stayed silent. “I only just figured it out and I felt so upset about it. Being gay and a Shadowhunter. Well, you know how it is. I tried to suppress it, tried dating guys. I even kissed Jace. Guess that’s why Clary seemed to hate me.” 

She laughed a nervous laughter. “But then, you kissed the warlock in the Hall of Accords for everyone to see. I thought that was so brave of you. And it made me realize I could come out, too. Not suppress it but embrace it. Like you. That’s why I wanted to thank you.” 

Alec nodded, he understood everything she’d said. Down to dating guys. He had never dated a girl, but he knew, if Magnus hadn’t come along, he might have eventually gone down that path. “So you’ve come out to your parents?” He asked. 

She nodded. “They don’t understand it. But it feels good that I’ve told them the truth.” 

“I can imagine, I−” Just then Alec got interrupted by Isabelle, yelling from downstairs. “Alec, Aline! Come on, we’re leaving!” 

“Let’s go,” Aline said, standing up and Alec followed her downstairs. 

Outside, a group, all dressed for the party, was waiting for them. Clary was there with Simon, and Aline’s parents, too. They all walked to the square together, where Alec knew Magnus would be. 

Yesterday, after Jace had woken up he hadn’t seen Magnus all day. His parents came with Izzy and they stayed with Jace for an hour until brother Zachariah sent them away, telling them Jace needed rest. Alec went home with his parents after receiving a fire message from Magnus, which said he was busy throwing the best party ever. In the evening he went to Angel lane and found Magnus there. He stayed the night again and promised him the next morning that he was going to formally introduce him to his parents at the party tonight. “That is, if you want to be my date?” he asked. 

Magnus had smiled a brilliant smile and pulled him in for a kiss. “You’re adorable,” he’d said. “Naturally I’ll be your date. But remember, it’s a party. So dress appropriately.” 

Alec didn’t care about clothes, but he had pulled on the best sweater he’d brought with him to Idris. Magnus had to go to a meeting today, where four seats of the Clave were appointed to Downworlders. One for the vampires, one for the faeries, one for the werewolves and one for warlocks. Magnus was the representative for warlocks, which meant he was an official Clave member from now on. It was odd, Alec thought, that Magnus was part of his world now. The breach between Shadowhunters and Downworlders all but overcome because of this war and Clary’s Alliance Rune. And they were heading to a party where all of them would be united. 

The group arrived at the square, which looked completely different. In the middle stood huge trees, decorated with ribbons and colored lights. The shops that lined the square were open, strings of witchlight decorating the windows. Everywhere Shadowhunters and Downworlders were sitting at benches or standing in groups, talking. Alec stared into the direction of the trees where he saw a glimpse of the tall, black haired warlock talking to a pretty woman with brown hair. Magnus caught his eyes and smiled. He said something to the woman and walked towards Alec.  

Alec felt his heart jump at the sight of him. He looked remarkably beautiful. Dressed old fashioned, a long frock coat over a purple silk vest. Alec smiled at the sight of him. 

“Nice vest,”  he said when Magnus reached them. 

“Would you like one exactly like it?” Magnus asked, eyes raking over Alec’s clothes. “In any color you prefer, of course.” 

“I don’t really care about clothes,” Alec confessed. 

“And I love that about you,” Magnus said, but he frowned a little, “Though I would also love you if you owned, perhaps, one designer suit. What do you say? Dolce? Zegna? Armani?” 

Alec couldn’t help but sputter, as Isabelle laughed. Magnus turned and said something to Clary before turning his attention back at him. “Don’t worry, Alexander. I won’t push you to do anything you don’t want to do.” 

“Come on,” Isabelle said, “Let’s find something to drink.” 

She stalked away and Magnus followed her. Alec stood still, looking around for his parents. They’d been there a minute ago, but seemed to be gone up in the crowd. 

“You’re coming?” Magnus turned and looked at him. “What are you looking for?” 

“My parents,” Alec said. “I want to introduce you.” 

“It can wait,” Magnus smiled, “Let’s first get that drink Isabelle suggested. I’m thirsty.” 

Alec looked at Magnus, frowning. Did he seem insecure? A little scared even to meet Alec’s parents. 

He smiled at the thought. “You already know them,” he said, “There’s nothing to worry about.” 

“It’s precisely because I know them that I know that that’s not true,” Magnus announced.  “So I need a drink.” 

“You are so cute when you’re nervous,” Alec said. “It’s a whole new experience for me.” 

“This might surprise you, Alec,” Magnus said as they walked after Isabelle towards a bar. “But this is new for me, too.” 

They arrived at the bar, where Magnus ordered a dry martini for himself and handed Alec a glass of beer. 

It was a little later when Alec saw Jace appear, walking hand in hand with Clary. Isabelle squeaked in delight and ran up to them. 

“You’re here!” She exclaimed, handing her glass to Clary. “Have some of this!” 

Clary looked at it with suspicion. “Is it going to turn me into a rodent?” 

“Where is the trust? I think it’s strawberry juice,” Isabelle said. “Anyway, it’s yummy. Jace?” She offered him the glass. 

“I am a man,” Jace said, “And men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone, woman, and bring me something brown.” 

“Brown?” Isabelle made a face. 

“Brown is a manly color,” said Jace, yanking at Izzy’s hair, casting a glance at Alec. “In fact, look—Alec is wearing it.” 

Alec looked down at his sweater. “It was black,” he said. “But then it faded.” 

“You could dress it up with a sequined headband,” Magnus suggested, wriggling his hands, holding something sparkling and blue. “Just a thought.” 

“Resist the urge, Alec.” It was Simon who spoke up, he was sitting next to Maia and Aline on a wall. “You’ll look like Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu.” 

“There are worse things,” Magnus said. 

Alec shook his head. “There’s no way I’m wearing that,” he said, indicating the headband. 

Simon went to talk with Jace and Clary and Isabelle was asking Magnus what Xanadu was. Alec looked around and saw his parents walking up to them. He felt the nerves flare up in his stomach but he wasn’t going to back down now. He thought of Max and his promise to him. _I’m going to be brave_. 

He grabbed Magnus by the arm. “Come,” he said and turned him to face his parents. Magnus hastily put away the headband and composed himself. 

“Mom, dad,” Alec said, looking squarely at his parents. “I want you to meet Magnus. I know you know him on a professional level, but I know him on a personal one. He’s my boyfriend.” 

His parents looked at Magnus now who held out a hand. Alec saw his shoulders tense. Maryse took his hand in hers and squeezed it.  

“Maryse, Robert,” Magnus said, “I hadn’t had the chance yet to offer you my sincerest condolences for your loss.” 

“Thank you,” Maryse said and smiled a sad smile at him, letting go of his hand. Magnus shook Robert’s hand next and Robert asked him about the trees. 

“I heard you had something to do with this party,” Alec heard his father say. “Did you create the trees?” 

Magnus laughed. “I don’t create trees, Robert. But I did take them from an Asian rainforest.” 

“It looks nice,” Robert said. 

Maryse unexpectedly wrapped an arm around Alec’s shoulders. “Honey, I wanted to let you know that I’m okay with this. I really am.” She looked into his eyes, hers were shining with tears. “I just want you to be happy. Know that that’s all I ever wanted for any of you. And if Magnus is making you happy, then I’m glad that he’s a part of your life.” 

Alec looked at his mother in surprise. “He does make me happy, mom. Very much so.” He smiled at her and brushed a tear from her cheek. “Don’t cry.” 

“I’m trying not to,” she whispered, and he felt her hand dig into his shoulder as she looked around. “Max would have loved all this.” 

“He would’ve,” Alec agreed. He looked at Magnus talking with his father and when Maryse dropped her arm he went over to them and took his hand. Magnus squeezed it and looked at him. “Ready for the fireworks?” He asked. 

Alec nodded and pulled him with him towards the wall where Aline was sitting. He pulled up next to her. “Aline,” he said, “Meet Magnus. My boyfriend.” 

Aline smiled and shook Magnus’s hand. “It’s great to meet you,” she said.  

Alec pulled Magnus against him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Magnus leaned back, his head against Alec’s shoulder as the fireworks exploded. They both looked up at the sky. A thousand brilliantly colored stars appeared as Alec pulled his boyfriend close and whispered in his ear, “I love you.” 

* * *

_**Magnus** _

They walked hand in hand to the house in Angel Lane after Alec had hugged his parents goodnight, saying he was staying with Magnus that night. Tomorrow or the day after they’d leave Idris, to go back to New York. Magnus was looking forward to it. Back in his own house, his own bed. He hoped Catarina hadn’t forgotten to feed Chairman Meow. 

“It was a nice party,” Alec said, smiling at him as they walked through the now silent streets of Alicante. 

“It was,” Magnus agreed, “It was strange talking to your parents like that. Did you know your father asked me if I created the trees?” He laughed. 

Alec laughed too and squeezed his hand. “I don’t think he knows how to behave around you.”  

“I guess so,” Magnus was unfazed. He was used to people not understanding his magic. “How was it for you, with your parents?” 

“My mother said that she wanted me to be happy. And if you were the one making me happy she was okay with that,” Alec said. 

“So I take it that means I make you happy,” Magnus couldn’t help but saying. 

“You do,” Alec answered, his voice low, “You have no idea.” 

Magnus felt his heart stutter in his chest, he noticed he still wasn’t used to Alec saying things like this. Affirming his love for him. He cast a sidelong glance at the Shadowhunter, observing the contented expression on his face. He looked as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders, as if he was comfortable in his own skin. He walked up straighter, his head held high and it made Magnus glad to see his boyfriend like that. 

“When we come home, do you want to go away with me?” Magnus asked him. 

Alec looked at him, “What do you mean? On a trip?” 

“Or an extended vacation? We could travel through Europe,” Magnus suggested. “You are allowed to take time off your Shadowhunting job, are you?” He asked, suddenly afraid that Shadowhunters took their mandate so seriously that they would never let Alec go. 

“Of course,” Alec grinned, “I’m eighteen, I can decide for myself when to take a vacation. I no longer have any classes or other obligations. It’s only,” he hesitated, “I can’t stop training, which means I need to spend a couple of hours each day to work out. Otherwise I’ll get out of shape.”  

Magnus looked him over and thought it made sense. Muscles like that don’t come up out of nothing. Being a Shadowhunter was like being a professional athlete.  

“You can work out in the mornings. And I can watch, or help you, maybe?” he suggested, wriggling his eyebrows, thinking about Alec all sweaty as he was lifting weights or practicing flips. “And then we use the afternoons for city trips. What do you say?” 

“I’d love to,” Alec answered as they reached the house and climbed the steps to the front door. Something subtly changed about his demeanor and Magnus felt the atmosphere change as he opened the door and pulled Alec after him over the threshold. 

As soon as they were inside the house Alec turned to him and took him in his arms. He pressed him purposefully against the wall and kissed him hard. Magnus put his hands on Alec’s waist and pulled him closer, enjoying the feel of the lithe Shadowhunter body against him. Alec’s mouth moved against him, pushing his lips apart and invading him with his tongue. Magnus felt it in the core of his being. The passion and enthusiasm were radiating off of his boyfriend. Alec’s hands were on him now, pulling off his coat and unbuttoning his vest rapidly. His clothes fell down on the ground and Alec bowed his head, kissing Magnus’s throat and collarbone, and down over his chest and stomach until he was on his knees in front of him.  

Magnus gasped as Alec’s hands were on his pants, he unbuttoned them and slid them down his legs. Magnus stared down at Alec and sucked in a breath when he felt Alec’s lips on his erection. Alec’s hand wrapped around his base, his tongue licking Magnus’s tip and then he took him in his mouth. Magnus moaned hard at the feeling of infinite warmth and soft wetness around him and he bucked his hips, thrusting in Alec’s mouth. Alec started to suck him and his hand moved and grabbed at him. Magnus rolled his hips into the motion, his hand on Alec’s shoulder, clenching down. He closed his eyes and threw his head back against the wall as he felt himself melt from the inside out at the incredible hotness all around him. His knees buckled and he moaned Alec’s name. “Alec, I’m coming.” 

Alec continued the sucking motion and Magnus let it go then, releasing himself into Alec’s mouth with a loud moan and Alec still didn’t stop as he swallowed and sucked until Magnus was completely spent. Alec let go of him then and sat back on the floor, watching Magnus sliding down the wall. Magnus looked at him in awe and saw him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, which was incredibly hot. Alec’s eyes were dark with passion and Magnus’s heart skipped a beat.   

Alec looked down at Magnus’s pants still wrapped around his ankles. He bent over his feet, took off his shoes and the pants. “That’s better,” he smiled. 

“How is it,” Magnus said, finally in control of his breathing, “That I am naked and you are fully dressed. It’s not fair.” 

In reply Alec took off his own shoes and then pulled his sweater over his head. Magnus marveled at his bare chest. The traces of faded runes visible on his rib cage and the swirling black lines of permanent runes on his abdomen. He reached forward and trailed a line down Alec’s torso with his fingers. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered. 

Alec scrambled to his feet and hauled Magnus up after him. “Let’s go upstairs,” he said, his voice low and expectant. They went and in the master bedroom Magnus pulled Alec with him on the bed, his hands on Alec’s jeans, he unbuckled the belt and tugged the jeans down his legs.   

Slowly he bent over him and pressed his lips against Alec’s, and they kissed, languidly. Alec’s arms went around him and he pulled Magnus on top of him. His hands were trailing over Magnus’s back and caressed his buttocks. Magnus moaned at the touch. His lips left Alec’s and trailed down his jaw line and his neck. He reached between them and grabbed him through his briefs. Alec’s breath caught and he moaned softly. At that Magnus quickly shrugged off Alec’s  boxers, leaving Alec naked, too.  

Then he pulled Alec on top of him and kissed him savagely, biting his lip in the process. Alec was panting heavily and rotated his hips, pressing into Magnus. Magnus was almost overcome with passion, reached between them, took Alec’s cock in his hand and moved him between his butt cheeks. “I want you inside of me,” he whispered in Alec’s ear, “Make love to me.”  

Alec hesitated for a moment, his eyes growing wide. But then Magnus saw the resolve in them and Alec nodded. Magnus conjured up a blue bottle of lubricant and pumped some of it in his hand. He coated Alec’s cock with it, leaving him gasping. Alec’s hand caressed his inner thigh and slid between his butt cheeks. Magnus’s breath hitched when he felt Alec’s finger pushing inside of him, touching, exploring.  He sat up on his knees between Magnus’s legs, pressing his finger deeper as his other hand slid around Magnus’s cock. Then Alec moved forward and his tip pressed against Magnus’s entrance, and very, very slowly, millimeter by millimeter, Alec moved. Magnus urged him on, overwhelmed by the feeling of Alec inside of him, wanting him there, wanting more of him. They were both gasping and holding their breath as Alec stopped moving.

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?” he asked uncertain and Magnus felt his heart contract. He shook his head.

“It doesn’t if you’re careful,” he whispered, “Just, go slow.”

Alec started to move slowly then, retreating and thrusting. The feeling of Alec inside him was so enthralling, more so than anything he ever felt. It was as if his heart was bursting with love for this boy on top of him, inside of him. And Alec, beautiful, wonderful, sweet Alec reached for him again and started rubbing Magnus. His touch, in him and around him, made Magnus reach that inexplicable high of ecstasy in no amount of time at all. Alec was everywhere, everything he thought, everything he breathed was Alec and it felt as if stars were raining down on earth.

Alec’s thrusts became deeper and more intense and so did his strokes. It was Magnus’s undoing and with a loud moan he felt himself explode. His hips bucked to meet Alec’s thrusts and in answer Alec, too, moaned loudly, and came. Magnus felt his release inside of him. Alec slid out of him and rolled on his back, breathing hard, while slowly returning to earth. He pressed his face in Magnus’s neck then.

“That was…,” Alec’s voice sounded hoarse from passion in Magnus’s ear, “truly… amazing.”

Magnus turned to his side and caught Alec staring at him as if he was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen.  “Wow. I mean, really… Wow.”

Magnus laughed softly and went to lay his head on Alec’s shoulder. “You said it,” he whispered.

“So, it was good for you, too?” Alec asked, “I didn’t hurt you?”

Magnus propped himself up on his elbow and stared into Alec’s eyes, “I think good is an understatement, Alexander,” he said and kissed him on his lips, “For some things there are no words to describe how incredibly good, how truly amazing they are.”  

Alec’s eyes began to shine and he pulled Magnus against him, and kissed him tenderly and passionately. “I love you,” he said then, straightforward and simple. 

“I love you too,” Magnus replied. He laid his head back down on Alec’s chest and closed his eyes, thinking how very lucky he was to have found a love like this one and how he truly believed that they wouldn’t be parted and that Alexander Lightwood would not and could not break his heart. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come to the end of City of Glass! Three books down, three to go! Thank you guys for all the feedback so far, I'm so touched and overwhelmed with all the attention my story has gotten. I <3 you guys!!  
> I hope you're all coming with me as we go from here to City of Fallen Angels, where we'll start with Malec on vacation!


	42. City of Fallen Angels - Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> City of Fallen Angels doesn't have much Malec. They're on holidays in the beginning and then Camille shows up and starts to f*ck around in their relationship. I've used dialogue from the book in the last three chapters (45,46,47). Also, there's explicit sexual content in this book as well. From now on I'm abandoning the concept of meets, because they're constantly together, there's no 'meets' anymore when you're practically living together. Cassandra Clare owns this story. I just try to fill in some gaps and I truly hope you'll enjoy it and love Malec as much as I do. Let me know your thoughts!?

**City of Fallen Angels**

**Prologue**

 

 ** _Alec_**  

Will you still love me 

After I’m gone 

And you live forever 

When I age and die 

You always stay the same 

Until eternity 

And stars raining down the earth 

Will you remember  

Or will you pass me by 

And forget about me? 

* * *

 

 

 ** _Magnus_**  

I thought I was used to it 

To live and stand by helplessly 

As those whom I love  depart from me 

Time slipping through my fingers 

And immortality 

But now you’re here and I’m not ready 

To let you go 

Not now and not in fifty, sixty years 

When you leave me and pass into the night 

You will never leave my heart 

I’m yours 

 


	43. Malec in Paris

 

 _I fell in love the way you fall asleep, slowly, and then all at once._  

  * John Green _, The Fault in Our Stars_  



* * *

**_Alec_ **

Alec was packing his bag, looking forward to the extended holiday with Magnus, when he heard a knock on his door. Turning around he saw his mother standing, leaning against the doorpost. “You’re all set?” she asked. 

She looked sad, Alec thought, and for a moment he felt guilty about leaving her. His father was still in Idris and his mother was running the Institute on her own now. “I am,” he replied, “Are you okay with me leaving?” 

“Of course, Alec,” Maryse responded, “You deserve a holiday, after all you’ve been through.” 

“But you deserve one, too,” Alec pointed out. 

Maryse gave him a sad smile. “Maybe later. Come on, Magnus will be here any minute. Let me walk you out.” 

Together they walked to the elevator, taking them down to the cathedral hall. Just when they stepped out  of the elevator, walking between the pegs of the church, the doorbell rang. Maryse opened the door before Alec could. “Magnus, right on time. You want to come in for some coffee?”  

Alec stepped quickly around her and looked at his boyfriend. Magnus was wearing a striped fisherman’s sweater and smiled a charming smile at Maryse. “I’d love some coffee,” he said. 

“No,” Alec interrupted, “No, he wouldn’t. We’re leaving.” 

“Such a hurry,” Magnus shook his head. “Why can’t we have coffee with your mother?” 

“Because I want to go to Paris,” Alec replied.  

It was an excuse, really. Drinking coffee with Magnus and his mother would be so awkward. He wouldn’t know what to say or do. Especially since both Jace and Isabelle weren’t home. Isabelle had blackmailed Jace into a day of shopping since they were going on a double date with Simon and Clary, which Alec thought was a terrible idea.  

If Max were still here, then he’d consider the coffee, knowing Max would give the much needed distraction. But Max was gone, his ashes left behind in Idris, only his gravestone to remember him by.  

Alec wanted to get out of the Institute. Away from his sad mother, whom he couldn’t comfort. He knew it was selfish of him, but he was really looking forward to spending some time with his boyfriend. Alone, just the two of them. With no one to call on Magnus, requesting potions or spells. Magnus wasn’t High Warlock of Brooklyn for no reason. In the three weeks since they’d returned from Idris, Alec had experienced how busy he was most of the time. 

“Very well,” Magnus said dramatically, “It seems Paris can’t wait.” He took a beret, seemingly out of nowhere, and placed it on his head. “La France, on y va!” 

Maryse laughed and kissed Alec on his cheek. “Enjoy yourselves. Both of you.” She turned around and closed the door behind her. 

“She’s being mighty big hearted about you dating a warlock, isn’t she,” Magnus said as he grabbed Alec’s hand. 

“I told you, she’s okay with it,” Alec replied as they walked down the steps and around the corner where a portal was waiting for them. “My dad, on the other hand, asked me if there was a way I could get rid of it. Of being gay, as if it is some kind of disease.” He snorted, offended. 

“Well, it doesn’t surprise me. Shadowhunters have always been a conservative group of people. And inward, too, keeping to themselves,” Magnus said casually. Alec got the feeling it didn’t really bother him and he felt a bit jealous. He didn’t want to be bothered by it either. But it was his own father, which made it more difficult for him. 

They reached the portal which Magnus had already set up and stepped through it. “Ah, Paris!” Magnus exclaimed, “La Ville Lumière.” 

They stepped out unto a large square in front of a cathedral. “Notre Dame,” Magnus said, waving at the cathedral. “Come, we have to deglamour ourselves before we can check in, in the hotel.” 

They walked through a gate into the garden of the church where Magnus flicked his fingers to make them both visible for the mundane world. Alec wanted to turn and walk out of the garden again but Magnus wrapped a hand on his arm and pushed him gently against the church wall, pressing his lips against Alec’s. “I haven’t greeted you properly, yet,” he spoke against Alec’s lips and then pushed them open, invading Alec’s mouth with his tongue. 

"Hey! Qu'est-ce que vous faites?" A voice shouted. "C'est interdit! Partez! Allez!"

“Désolé,” Magnus turned and Alec saw a police officer standing behind them. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, not understanding enough French to quite understand. 

“It turns out we’re not allowed to make out against the church’s wall,” Magnus said, smiling mischievously, his eyes twinkling. The officer behind them continued to shout as Magnus pulled Alec along with him, back to the place Jean Paul II. 

"Abrutis de touristes,” the officer muttered and Magnus cast him an angry look. 

“No need to get rude,” he said, but he laughed. In front of the cathedral they stood still and looked up. 

“It looks nice,” Alec said, “Do you want to go inside?” 

“No,” Magnus replied, “The queue’s too long and besides, we should go to the hotel, to check in.” 

“Is it close by?”  

“Right around the corner, we have to cross the river and then to the right.”  

Together they crossed the bridge and walked along the Seine to the hotel Les Rives de Notre Dame. Magnus checked in at the counter and they went to their room to dump their luggage. Magnus sat down on the bed, bouncing on it as if he were a small child. Alec couldn’t help but smile. 

“So, time difference is five hours. It was ten when we left New York so it’s about three in the afternoon now. Which means we missed lunch,” Magnus said, “Do you want to go out and eat? Or walk along the Seine? Or let’s take the metro to the Eiffel Tower!?” 

“Yeah,” Alec said, “I’d love to go see that ugly tower.” 

“It _is_ ugly, isn’t it?” Magnus agreed, “But I want to take at least one picture there. And then we’ll go to Montmartre for dinner.” 

“You know Paris well,” Alec observed. 

Magnus nodded as he stood up from the bed. “I’ve lived here a couple of years, it was before I moved to New York. I had a feud with a vampire so I left, but I like to come here every other year or so. It’s beautiful. Tomorrow I’ll take you to the Opéra and Musée du Louvre.” 

Alec smiled at his boyfriend, thinking how cute he was when he was this excited. 

“What?” Magnus said, catching his stare. 

“You’re adorable,” Alec said and pulled him into his arms, pressing his lips on Magnus’s. Magnus wrapped his arms around him and kissed him back. 

“I am!” he said when he pulled away. “Come on! To the Eiffel Tower.” 

Outside the hotel they walked across the quay until they arrived at the metro station. About half an hour later they were standing under the Eiffel Tower, their heads craned, looking up at it. 

“It’s big,” Alec observed and Magnus grinned at him. 

“Big and ugly,” he agreed as he took out his phone. “Time for a selfie!”  

They took a couple of pictures, pictures of them laughing, of them making funny faces, Magnus kissing Alec’s cheek, Magnus sticking out his tongue to the camera as Alec tried to look contrite. Pictures of them kissing.  

“Let’s send them to New York,” Magnus suggested. 

Magnus looked over his shoulder at his phone, suggesting which ones to send. Alec selected a few and sent them to Jace and Izzy. 

“Now that we’ve accomplished this, let’s find something to eat,” Magnus said, “Baguette avec fromage? Look, there’s a food cart.” 

He pointed at a cart standing at the other side of the Eiffel Tower. They bought a sandwich and strolled through the Champs de Mars park.  

Magnus found a bench to sit on and wrapped an arm around Alec while they ate in silence. When he finished the baguette, Alec scooped  a little closer to Magnus, resting against him, he closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the peaceful moment. 

He felt Magnus press his lips against his temple. “I love this,” Magnus murmured in his hair. “Just sitting on a bench like this, with you.” 

“Me, too,” Alec sighed. 

A musician with a guitar walked past them, singing a song about true love. L’amour. 

“When did you know it?” Alec asked suddenly, “That you loved me?” 

 “I fell in love with you the way you fall asleep. Slowly, and then all at once.” Magnus said. 

Alec looked up and in Magnus’s eyes, surprised. “That’s beautiful.” 

“It’s a quote from a book,” Magnus confessed, “But true, nonetheless.” He nuzzled against Alec, and Alec felt his hand tighten around his shoulder.  

“When did I know?” Magnus mused. “I admitted it to myself on your birthday. I woke up longing for you to be there, knowing you wouldn’t come because it was your birthday and you were going to spend it with family. I knew that, but I longed for you nonetheless. I felt miserable, truly. Restless. I knew once you’d be there I’d be calm again. That’s what you do for me, you know. You calm me down, you bring me peace.” 

He was quiet for awhile. Alec let the words sink in. He hadn’t expected them but knew it was similar for himself as well. Being with Magnus was being himself. Peaceful. 

“Once I realized that, I knew I was in love,” Magnus continued, “Irrevocably and irreparably. That was the ‘all at once’ part. But before that, there was the ‘slowly’ part. That part started the first moment I laid my eyes on you and thought you were beautiful.” 

Alec smiled, turned his head and kissed Magnus’s cheek. “And you?” Magnus asked. 

“Well…” Alec sat up a little and saw a flicker of vulnerability in Magnus’s eyes. As if he were afraid Alec would say he wasn’t in love with him or had fallen out of love already. As if that were possible. Alec knew he was the kind of person who gave himself whole heartedly and once he did, there was no way back. But he realized Magnus did not know that and actually needed his reassurance. It was a weird realization, to think that Magnus might need something from him. It felt empowering.   

“For me it was different,” Alec said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “Remember how you told me I was deluding myself? Before we left for Idris?” 

Magnus nodded, “I remember.” 

“You were right. And it took me some time to discern the truth. Jace was actually the one who helped me realize. He told me I was using him as an excuse because I was too scared to tell everyone who I really loved.” Alec thought back at that day in Alicante, and the conversation he had with Jace. He decided to leave out the part where Jace had dared him to kiss him.  

“Jace said that?” Magnus sounded genuinely surprised. 

“He did. And it made me think. That’s when I realized he was right and you were right, too. And that I loved you. Thinking back I know I was in love with you way earlier than that. I just wouldn’t admit it. I remember thinking how oddly beautiful you were, the first time I saw you. How amazing it felt, the first time you kissed me. I remember how difficult it was to stop kissing you after our first date. By the Angel, I didn’t want it to stop. I still don’t want it to stop.” 

Alec stopped talking because Magnus had lifted his chin with his fingers and pressed his lips against his mouth. They felt soft and warm, making Alec lean in and kiss him back, enjoying the feel of Magnus against him. Thinking how wonderful it was to be loved by this amazing man. And how wonderful to love him back, with all his heart.  

“Do you remember that shirt?” Alec continued when Magnus finally released him. “The ‘Blink if you want me shirt’ that you lent me on our first date?” 

“I remember,” Magnus replied, resting his head against Alec. 

“I kept it in my bed. If that isn’t a sign of a teenager in love, then I don’t know what is,” Alec chuckled. “But on the day you bought me the coffee maker… I think that was the day. Because I realized then that with you I can be myself. That there’s no need to pretend and lie. I realized I could relax, and laugh, kiss and love and just be me. You made me realize I wanted to be the Alec I was in your eyes.” 

“The Alec you are in my eyes,” Magnus repeated. “I didn’t know... So when did Jace make you realize?” 

“That was in Idris. It was the day before we met on Angel’s Square. Where you were ambushed by those demons,” Alec said. 

“No way!” Magnus sat up, making Alec shift as he stared in his eyes. “You had already realized you were in love with me when we met that day and the first thing you said was ‘Why didn’t you call me?’” Magnus’s eyes were blazing with exasperation, “Alec! You could have started with ‘Magnus, I love you.’ That would’ve been nice to hear.” 

“Sorry,” Alec muttered. “But I didn’t know how you felt about me.” 

Magnus shook his head, looking indignant. “I can’t believe you didn’t know. I felt like it was tattooed on my forehead.” 

Alec laughed and took Magnus’s hand, squeezing it. “Maybe for you it felt like that, but not for me.” 

“I guess we both didn’t know,” Magnus said, “I thought…” 

“You thought I was in love with Jace,” Alec filled in the words Magnus didn’t want to say. 

“I did,” Magnus admitted. “Guess Jace understood you better than I.” 

He stood up and hauled Alec to his feet. “But that’s going to change, now,” Magnus beamed at Alec, “From now on it’s you and me, baby.” 

Alec grinned widely as Magnus took his hand and they started walking to the metro together. “Montmartre here we come,” Magnus sang. 

*** 

They walked through little streets filled with tourists shops and restaurants until they came at a park where a carrousel stood. The sun was setting, shining its orange light over the Sacre Coeur that stood high upon a hill at the other end of the park. The park was steep and covered with stairs.  

“That’s a long climb,” Alec observed as they started to ascend the stairs. 

Along the way venders tried to sell them cheap knock off jewelry, fake designer bags, sunglasses and colorful scarves. Magnus bought a yellow one and tied it around his neck. Alec noticed how the color made his beautiful golden skin stand out even more. 

At the other end of the park they sat down at the top of the stairs, their backs to the Sacre Coeur, watching the view of the city beneath them. Alec pointed to the Notre Dame in the distance. “That’s where we arrived this morning.” 

Magnus nodded. “It’s strange, we’ve only been here a couple of hours and yet it feels so much longer.” 

A group of boys in their early twenties were sitting in front of them on the stairs. One of them playing on a guitar while two others were singing.  

 _“Nous_ _serons_ _encore_ _amoureux_ _avec les_ _couleurs_ _de_ _printemps_ _.”_  

“What does it mean?” Alec asked.  

“We’ll still be in love with the colors of spring,” Magnus replied. “It’s a cheesy love song from Chris de Burgh.”  

“I like it,” Alec admitted. 

“Well, it doesn’t have a happy ending. She leaves him,” Magnus said. They listened until the song ended, then Magnus stood up. “Let’s go. Behind the church is the nicest square filled with little restaurants. And street artists. It’s the heart of Paris.” 

They walked around the Sacre Coeur and found a restaurant where they ate Coque au Vin for dinner and Crème Brulée as dessert. Alec bought a pastel painting of the Notre Dame from a street artist for his mother. It was late in the night when they descended the many stairs on their way back to the metro. 

They left the metro a few stops early, to enjoy a late night stroll along the Seine. They crossed the river at the Pont des Arts. The bridge was covered at both sides with thousands of padlocks. Magnus snapped his fingers and a brass padlock appeared in his hand. “Let’s seal our love to this bridge,” he suggested. 

Alec took the padlock and looked it over. “It needs our initials,” he said, “AM or MA?” 

“I prefer AM,” Magnus said, “MA sounds like an academic title.” 

“AM sounds like it’s too early in the morning to be awake,” Alec retorted and Magnus laughed. 

“At that,” he agreed. “ALMB?” 

“AGLMB,” said Alec. 

“What’s the G for?” Magnus asked. 

“Gideon. It’s my middle name,” Alec informed, while turning the padlock over in his hands. 

“I didn’t even know,” Magnus said, “But I like it.” 

He snapped his fingers again and in the padlock appeared the letters AGM.  

“Asian Gear Motors,” snickered Magnus, “That suits us perfectly.” 

Alec searched the bridge for a place to hang the lock. It was completely covered with old rusty and new shining locks. “There’s no place,” he said. 

Magnus looked over his shoulder. “Should I remove a couple of them?” he suggested. 

“No!” Alec frowned at his boyfriend. “You  can’t do that!” 

“Okay, okay, I’ll just move them a little to make space,” Magnus amended. 

He said, he did and Alec fastened the lock to the bridge. “There, we’ll still be in love in the spring.” 

“Of course we will be,” Magnus beamed as they continued their walk towards the hotel. 

“Tomorrow the Opéra Garnier,” Magnus announced when they arrived in their room. “It’s the most beautiful building of the entire city.” 

*** 

The next day Alec found out Magnus hadn’t been exaggerating. The Opéra, built in the nineteenth century, was a classic baroque building, with a copper roof and golden statutes on the sides. The interior was extravagant, filled with marble pillars and heavy velvet curtains. The roof of the main hall was colorfully painted and framed with gold. Huge chandeliers hung down, their light sparkling. 

Magnus and Alec walked around the entire building, taking pictures and marveling at the beauty of it. “It’s magnificent,” Alec said, standing at one of the balcony’s staring down the grand staircase. 

“I remember when it was built,” Magnus said. “I’ve been to the grande opening.” 

Alec looked at his boyfriend, thinking how strange it was that Magnus had been alive for it. “That must have been amazing,” he stated. 

“It was quite the spectacle,” Magnus agreed. 

After lunch they went to the Louvre. Alec stared at the enormous queue of people waiting for the glass pyramid to enter the museum. “Is it always this busy here?” 

Magnus shrugged, “I suppose. But we can take the back entrance.” He indicated a door with his head. There was a red sign on it with the word ‘interdit’ on it. 

“I’m sure that’s not allowed,” Alec said as he cast a glance at the two soldiers wearing machine guns. 

 “We’ll glamour,” Magnus followed Alec’s eyes, regarding the soldiers. “They’ll never know.” 

Alec saw the mischievous flicker in his boyfriends eyes and smirked. “There’s nothing like a little debauchery.” 

Magnus threw his head back and laughed. “Exactly!” 

He cast a quick spell, making them invisible, and they swiftly entered through the forbidden door. Inside they deglamoured in a corner and walked through the museum, filled with paintings and statues. After an hour or so Magnus was bored. “I don’t understand why people would stand in line for hours to watch a few paintings,” he commented. “Let’s go to the Jardin des Tuileries and eat ice cream.” 

They went back outside, this time via the main entrance, the big glass pyramid. They passed an arch, which was standing in the same line with L’Arc de Triomphe, visible in the distance. “There are three arches,” Magnus said, “This is the smallest one. At the end of the Champs Elysees is the Arch of Triumph and further west lies the Grande Arche de la Defénse. That one is a modern building, while these two are ancient.” 

“It feels like a history tour,” Alec commented. 

“Oh, sorry, is it boring?” Magnus asked. 

“No, it’s fine,” Alec smiled at him. 

“It’s boring,” Magnus disagreed, “I’m going to get us some crepes with ice cream in the park.” 

It was a remarkably warm day for October and Alec and Magnus went to sit in the grass to enjoy their ice cream. Alec plucked at the grass with his fingers, looking at the people strolling by. 

“So, where do you want to go next?” Magnus asked him. 

Alec looked up into Magnus’s shining green-gold eyes, “You want to leave already?” he asked. 

“Yeah, it’s been two days,” Magnus said, “I want to show you more of Europe. Any ideas?” 

“Amsterdam?” Alec suggested. 

“Amsterdam? No,” Magnus shook his head. “If you want to go to the Netherlands, Rotterdam is the place.” 

“Okay,” Alec said, “I don’t know anything about the Netherlands. Except that the people are tall and blonde.”  

“Stereotypes,” Magnus snorted. “But Rotterdam it is! Tomorrow morning. Tonight we’re going out, have a taste of Paris’s best nightclubs.” 


	44. Malec in Rotterdam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, in my home country in my home city! I hope you'll enjoy it :)  
> Also, there's explicit sexual content in this chapter.  
> Rotterdam!!!

_“Dutch is not so much a language as an ailment of the throat.”_

  * _John Green, The Fault in Our Stars_



* * *

**_Magnus_ **

After a breakfast of croissants with hot chocolate in the hotel, Magnus portalled them to Rotterdam. They arrived at the pier next to Hotel New York, where they deglamoured behind the building and walked over the pier to the entrance.

“Hotel New York,” Magnus said, “Seems suited for us.”

“It sounds perfect,” Alec answered, while he was looking over the water. “Why would it be called that, you think?”

“I have no idea,” Magnus said, “But this is where the Holland-America line departed for New York. So maybe that’s it.”

“Sounds logical,” Alec nodded. “So, we’re going to book a room and then explore the city?”

They entered the hotel and went to the counter where a gorgeous blonde girl smiled a dazzling smile at them. She was dressed officially, in a black skirt and a white blouse, on it a name tag read _Simone_. “Good morning, how may I help you?” she said in perfect English.

Magnus tilted his head, as he squarely stared into the big blue eyes of the girl and winked at her. “Aren’t you gorgeous,” he said. He had always appreciated beauty and found it was better said than unsaid. Simone’s smile widened and Magnus felt Alec stare at him in astonishment.

“What?” he turned to his boyfriend, “She is.”

Alec made a face but didn’t reply. Instead he regarded Simone. “Do you have a room for two?”

“I’m going to check that for you,” she said and turned to her computer. She started to type rapidly. “Would you like a normal room or a suite? We also have the tower room available, but that one doesn’t have a king sized bed.”

“And I want a king sized bed,” Magnus said, “A suite would be perfect. The biggest one you have.”

“That would be the Maassuite,” Simone said, “You’ll have a fire place there and a coffee machine.”

“Perfect!” Magnus beamed at her, “My boyfriend needs a coffee machine.”

Simone smiled at Alec, showing her perfect white teeth. “I get that! If you’re into coffee, you should go to the Fenix Food Factory,” she pointed out of the window. “Cross that bridge and it’s right at the other side of it. They have the best coffee there.”

“How come you speak such a perfect English?” Alec asked, “Are you American?”

“No, I’m Dutch,” Simone laughed, “We tend to be good at English here. We’re a small country. If we want people to hear us, we have to speak their language.”

“It’s impressive,” Alec smiled, and Magnus thought the girl’s beauty faded in his light. He wondered how it was possible that this beautiful Shadowhunter was his boyfriend.

Simone finished their paperwork and handed them a key. They ascended the stairs to the suite.

It was a huge room, filled with typical Dutch Delft blue china lamps and tiles on the walls. There was an enormous fireplace with a blue tufted ottoman in front of it and two stuffed couches. The windows looked out over the river and a massive bed took up half the room. Magnus looked around and caught Alec frowning at him. “Were you flirting with that girl?” He asked.

“I thought that was pretty obvious,” Magnus  replied, “She’s beautiful.”

Alec looked baffled, but then realization dawned on his face. “You liked her?”

Magnus shrugged, “Why not, I’m not particular.”

He saw Alec staring at him, looking somewhat horrified. “Does it bother you?” Magnus asked.

“Well,” Alec coughed, “I don’t know.”

Magnus laughed aloud, thinking there was no way his boyfriend could ever be more cute than he was right now. “Oh my goodness, you are jealous of that Dutch girl,” he said, snickering, “Like you have any competition. Don’t be crazy!”

Alec suddenly grabbed his wrist and pulled him close, his voice sounding low and urgent, “I’d better not. I’m very competitive.” His lips were on Magnus’s then, and his hands went to Magnus’s collar, unbuttoning his shirt. He walked them backwards through the room until Magnus felt the bed against the back of his knees. He lost his footing and fell backward on the bed, and Alec was on him, kissing him hard and messy.

Magnus felt the kiss in the core of his being, a warmth flaring up and reaching to the tips of his fingers. He wrapped his arms around Alec and slid them under his shirt, mapping his back. Alec bucked his hips into him and moaned softly in his mouth.

Magnus brought his hands from Alec’s back to his chest and pushed him up. Alec broke off the kiss and propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at Magnus with eyes dark with passion.

“I thought you wanted to explore the city?” Magnus said innocently.

“I want to have sex,” Alec replied bluntly.

It was what Magnus loved about him. Alec never shied away from saying what he wanted, he would name it and do whatever he needed to do to get it. His answer made the heat blaze up in Magnus and he nodded, unable to say something intelligible. Alec brought his mouth down on Magnus again and his hands continued the unbuttoning of Magnus’s shirt. He almost ripped it off of him and brought his mouth down on Magnus’s throat, kissing his collarbone and his chest. His teeth grazed at a hardened nipple and Magnus moaned at the touch. He moved his hands over Alec and pulled him up to remove his sweater.

Alec threw the sweater down the floor and pulled Magnus further on the bed, reaching between them to take off his leather pants. Magnus breathed hard, and found it difficult to focus, as passion seemed to cloud his view. He wanted Alec’s touch, Alec’s lips on his. He pulled at him to press him close. But Alec was intent on undressing them both. When he was done taking off every single piece of clothing on both of them he hovered over Magnus and kissed him again, gentler now.

Alec wrapped his arms around him and rolled them over. Magnus was now on top, enjoying the feel of the naked Shadowhunter under him. Alec’s hands traveled over his back and caressed his butt. Then he moved his hands to Magnus’s hips and pushed against him. The friction this movement created made Magnus moan and he buried his head in Alec’s neck, softly kissing him there.

Alec rolled his hips against him, pressing Magnus’s erection against Alec’s thigh. Magnus lifted his head and stared at Alec, a question in his eyes. _What do you want?_

“I want you inside of me,” Alec whispered as if he had heard Magnus’s unspoken question. His voice sounded low and urgent.

Magnus felt his eyes widen at the unexpected request. In the weeks since their first time they’d had plenty of sex, but this was actually the first time that Alec requested their roles to be reversed. Magnus hadn’t pushed him, hadn’t even spoken about it once. He figured one day Alec would be ready, or maybe not, and that was fine, too. He liked it either way. He wasn’t particular about that either.

“Are you sure?” he said softly, reaching a hand to brush Alec’s cheek.

“I’m sure,” Alec said, “I want to feel you inside of me.”

“It might hurt,” Magnus whispered.

Alec shrugged, “I’m a Shadowhunter, I can handle a little pain.”

Magnus bent down and kissed him then, and Alec kissed him back, pressing his hands on Magnus’s butt and pushing him down on him. Their bodies grinding together, the movement creating a friction that was almost enough for Magnus to come.

But it wasn’t enough for Alec. He reached up a hand and caressed Magnus’s cheek. “I want it,” he whispered.

He turned to his side then, his back towards Magnus. Magnus flicked his fingers to conjure up a bottle of lubricant with special relaxation abilities. He pumped some on his hand and reached between Alec’s butt cheeks, touching him there. Alec moaned softly, urging him on. Magnus applied the lube generously on his cock and then he moved as slow and gently as he could, pushing his cock against Alec’s entrance.

Alec turned his head, trying to look at him. “Go on,” he whispered, and Magnus pushed. Alec gasped under him as he entered him very, very slowly. The heat and tightness around him was overwhelming. He felt it in the very tips of his being, in the beating of his heart. He trembled as he moved further. Alec urged him on, moving an arm to lay on his hips, pulling him closer. He moved further in and felt he was completely sheathed in Alec. There was nothing but Alec in his world now. All he felt and breathed and saw was Alec. He started to thrust, carefully.

They moved together in a perfect unity. The heat and tightness reaching higher levels with each movement. Alec pressed his head against Magnus’s shoulder, moaning softly as he bucked his hips, meeting Magnus’s thrust. Magnus closed his eyes and forgot how to think, how to breathe.

All he could do was give in to the motion as they sped up, his thrusts becoming deeper and more frantic. He was at the edge, knowing he’d lose control entirely, knowing there was nothing he could do about it now. His body had taken over, his heart swelling with love and passion. He pressed his lips against Alec’s neck and kissed him hard. Alec moaned as they moved faster and faster and everything began to explode. And explode. And explode. Magnus was completely sure there would be nothing left of him afterwards as he thrust one final time and with a cry shot his release into Alec. He pressed his body against him and buried his face in Alec’s neck, fighting hard to get his breathing under control.

Alec had his hand on Magnus’s hip, his nails digging into his skin and he heard him whisper in his ear. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” like a litany or a prayer.

He didn’t know how long it took for him to realize he was still in one piece. Finally he moved, sliding out of Alec and then he lifted his head and stared at his boyfriend in wonder.

“I forgot about you,” he said.

Alec’s eyes widened in shock, “What?”

“No, I mean,” Magnus startled, realizing how wrong that sounded. “Sorry. I mean I forgot about your release. I should’ve helped you. Touched you, you know? So it would be better for you.”

Alec smiled, “Better for me?

“Yeah,” Magnus was a little worried now. “Did it hurt?”

“No,” Alec reached up and brushed his face. “Like I said, I’m a Shadowhunter. It didn’t hurt, I liked it. No, I loved it.”

“You did?”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised,” Alec said and his smile widened.

Magnus blinked, “You’ve bewitched me. You’ve totally bewitched me.”

He buried his face once more in Alec’s neck and Alec kissed his hair. “Good,” he said.

Magnus started raining down kisses over his neck, his throat, his collarbone and down his chest. His strength was returning and with renewed purpose his mouth traveled down over Alec’s body until he reached his cock. He sat up between Alec’s legs and took him in his mouth. Alec arched his back and threw his head in his pillow as Magnus started to suck him hard.

He wrapped his hand around Alec’s base and Alec thrust into his mouth. Magnus gave it all he had and when Alec came he swallowed everything Alec offered him. Then he let him go and rolled onto his back next to Alec, staring at the ceiling, catching his breath. “You’ve bewitched me,” he repeated and shook his head in disbelief.

Alec rolled on his side, propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at him, smiling, looking as beautiful as an angel. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because it’s true,” Magnus replied and he reached out an arm and pulled Alec against him. Alec laid his head on Magnus’s chest and sighed.

“So, you liked that girl, huh? I hope this changed your mind,” Alec chuckled.

And Magnus laughed, his whole body shuddering with it. “You are wonderful, Alexander. How I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Alec replied in all his simplicity, “A lot.”

They lay together in silence for a little while. Then Alec lifted his head and looked at Magnus. “And for the record, I don’t care if you liked that girl. Although I’ll never understand it.”

 “It’s not relevant,” Magnus said, “Because I love you and you have no competition.”

Alec smiled, his face lighting up, his eyes shining. He reached up his hand and touched Magnus’s face. The look in his eyes so tender and loving. Magnus leaned into his hand, thinking how perfect his boyfriend was.

 “Shall we go and try out that coffee in the, what was it called, Fenix Food Factory?” Alec asked.

Magnus nodded and sat up. A part of him didn’t want to go, he just wanted to lay there on the bed with Alec in his arms. But they could do that later, tonight, tomorrow, the rest of the week. The rest of the year. For now he felt a little caffeine wouldn’t be the worst idea. “Sounds like a plan. I could use some coffee.”

* * *

They crossed the bridge Simone had pointed them to and noticed the few padlocks tied to the bridge.

“Hey,” Alec exclaimed, “Look, they have padlocks here, too. Though it’s nothing like the thousands in Paris.”

Magnus smiled and conjured up a padlock, giving it to Alec, “Here, I have an idea. Let’s add a padlock to every lock bridge in Europe. There are plenty more. I know there’s one in Venice. We’ll eternalize our love.”

Alec took the padlock and took out his stele from his pants. He pressed the tip of it in the padlock and drew the letters AGM in it. The stele left swirling black lines behind, making the letters curl.

“That looks nice,” Magnus said. Together they fastened the lock to the bridge. Magnus stared at it and suddenly felt a pang of fear. _Eternalize our love_.

Immortality was part of being a warlock. Never get sick, never age, never die. After four hundred years he should be used to that. But it has been a long time since he really loved someone. And the way he loved Alec was so much more intense, so new and wonderful. The idea of immortality was weighing on him again. Because Alec was going to age and die. And they would never grow old together.

They could eternalize their love with a padlock. But Magnus couldn’t imagine eternity without Alec. _But it’s not for a long, long time,_ he told himself, _he’s only eighteen._

Alec, beside him, seemed totally unaware of Magnus’s internal struggle. He looked over the river and grabbed Magnus’s hand. “Let’s go.” 

Together they crossed the bridge to enter what looked like an old empty warehouse. Inside the place was buzzing with excitement. Little shops or stalls lined the sides of it and in the middle was a large open space where people sat at second hand tables on chairs that didn’t match.

“Very urban chique,” Magnus noted.

They walked to a small booth next to the entrance, the man in the booth asked them if they wanted a platter. He explained they could take the platter around the different shops and taste a little of everything. “We have the bakery, the middle eastern food, coffee, cheese, charcuterie. There’s a beer brewery, they make American beer,” the man regarded them closely, “You look American.”

“We’re from New York,” Alec said.

“Do they have anything else, besides beer,” Magnus inquired.

“There’s the cider bar,” the man pointed to the other end of the hall.

They took off walking through the warehouse, having two coffee’s with a Dutch delicacy, a sort of waffle with syrup in it, called stroopwafel. It was really good. When they finished that they bought cheese platters, charcuterie and tapas. Alec got a big glass of an American Stout which had the weird name ‘gozer.’ The guy behind the bar told them it meant ‘dude’ which Magnus thought was pretty funny. He wasn’t into beer himself, so he bought a glass of sparkling apple cider. They sat down at one of the wobbly tables, eating the food and enjoying the atmosphere. People were relaxed, chatting rapidly in that weird sort of clipped Dutch language all around them.

“Ik denk echt dat Feyenoord dit jaar kampioen wordt,” said the man at the table next to them.

The woman across from him nodded, “Dat gaat een leuk feestje worden op de Coolsingel deze zomer.”

“Dutch,” Magnus muttered, “It’s not so much a language as an ailment of the throat.” Quoting the Fault in Our Stars, the last book he had read before going on vacation.

Alec laughed, “Good one,” he said, while biting down on a piece of cheese.

“This is good,” he said, “It has some sort of herb in it, or spice, I don’t know.”

Magnus took a cheese cube and tasted it, “It’s fenugreek.”

“I like it, let’s buy some to take back home,” Alec suggested.

After they finished the meal and bought the cheese, they left the Fenix Food Factory and walked back to the pier. From there they strolled down the river towards the large bridge that looked somewhat like a swan. Arriving at the base of the bridge they took a tram to the city centre.

They departed the tram in front of a big hall, called Markthal. The building was like a huge arch, with glass walls and a beautiful colored ceiling. Inside they walked to the middle and craned their heads to regard it. The semi-circular shaped ceiling was filled with flowers, animals and scenery.

“Do you see that?” Alec said, notching Magnus’s elbow and pointing upwards. “There are butterflies flying.”

Magnus noticed he was right. A projection of several butterflies moved over the ceiling, “Looks nice.”

Back outside they crossed the square to take a look at the eye catcher of Rotterdam, the Cube houses. The cubes were tilted in an angle of forty five degrees and rested upon a hexagon shaped pillar. One of the houses was open for visitors and they entered it, looking around at the weirdly shaped house with its angular walls.

“This is so impractical,” Alec observed, “None of the walls are straight.”

“I could angle my apartment like this,” Magnus suggested, “Nice for a change.”

“Hmm, I think I prefer my walls vertical,” Alec said, “Like a normal person.”

“How terribly mundane of you,” replied Magnus and he laughed, squeezing Alec’s hand.

They continued their stroll through the city, looking at some stores and ending up in a Vietnamese restaurant in the Witte de Withstraat for dinner before returning to the hotel New York.

“I like this city,” Alec said as they entered their room. “It’s vibrant.”

Magnus reached for him and wrapped his arms around him. “It is! But I do feel it’s you that makes it all worthwhile.”

Alec pressed his lips against Magnus’s and kissed him gently. “Thanks,” he whispered after breaking off the kiss, “For this. I really love traveling through Europe with you!”

Alec let go of him and turned around. He pulled something out of the plastic bag he had dropped on the ground and handed Magnus a little box. “I got you something.”

Magnus stared at it, bewildered for a moment, “For me?”

“Yeah,” Alec smiled, putting the present in his hands, “Open it.”

“When did you…?” Magnus noticed he was stammering as he took the box and opened it.

 

“In that little vintage store,” Alec said, “When you were trying on that suit.”

Inside the velvet box was a bracelet. It was made of braided black leather with silver snake heads biting in a ring. It was very much his style. Magnus was surprised both by the sweet gesture and his boyfriend’s excellent taste. Why that didn’t show in Alec’s clothes was a conundrum for Magnus.

“Well,” Alec looked at him expectantly, “What do you think?”

“I  love it,” Magnus smiled a wide smile, “You’ve surprised me with this.”

 

Alec grinned and took the bracelet. It unclasped by pushing a little button on one of the snake’s heads. He took Magnus’s wrist and put the bracelet on. “It looks nice.”

“It looks fantastic,” Magnus felt he was still a bit baffled. He didn’t remember the last time someone gave him something for no reason at all. Catarina and Ragnor would call him on his birthday, and sometimes he got presents from them, too. And Tessa. But this was different. To get a piece of jewelry from a Shadowhunter. It was a whole new experience for Magnus. He was used to getting demands from Shadowhunters, not presents. He touched the snake heads with his fingers, appreciating the fine art.

“Thank you,” he whispered and pulled Alec in his arms. He inhaled Alec’s scent, breathing in his hair.

Alec wrapped his arms around him and murmured in his ear, “You’re welcome.”


	45. Venice, Vienna and back to New York

_The Shadowhunter guard stepped back as the door opened, and Maryse came into the room. She was followed by two figures immediately familiar to Simon: Isabelle’s brother Alec, and his boyfriend, the warlock Magnus Bane_  

  * City of Fallen Angels, p.258 



* * *

 

**_Alec_ **

After Rotterdam Magnus suggested Madrid. They went to the Museo del Prado, a beautiful building with countless white marble pillars and statues. They ate Spanish tapas and drank Liquor 43, which tasted like vanilla. 

They send pictures back to New York and Alec called his parents. His mother was enthusiastic but his father sounded distant on the other end of the line. Not once he asked him about Magnus and whether they were having a good time. Alec knew why. His father wasn’t okay with him being gay and Alec couldn’t deny that hurt. 

Barcelona was next on the list. The Sagrada Familia was a surprise. From the outside it was an odd looking cathedral, Alec thought, but the inside was beautiful. The sun shining through the stained glass windows made the interior glitter like a kaleidoscope. Magnus was wearing a sparkling matador jacket, and in the light falling through the windows he looked incandescent and never more beautiful.  

After Spain they had a quick break from Europe, visiting India. Alec thought it was too warm and too crowded there. Also, Magnus had found it necessary to wear a gold and pink sari. Alec had shaken his head but had indulged Magnus. He’d wanted a few pictures to send to New York. To cause a little havoc, he’d said.  

Back in Europe they went to Italy. First Rome, then Florence and finally Venice. Venice was beautiful, and similar to Alicante in some ways. The small streets, the lack of cars, the canals. It had a very romantic feel to it. The first thing they did was look for the padlock bridge, the Ponte dell' Accademia.  

Magnus was a bit quiet when they added the lock to the bridge. Alec wondered if there was something bothering him, but when he asked Magnus shook his head. “It’s nothing, Alexander. Come, I know this great place where they have the best Risotto al nero. It’s rice with squid ink.” 

Alec made a face, “Ink in food? Why?” 

“It’s good, I promise.” Magnus laughed and grabbed his hand, crossing the bridge to the direction of the Piazza San Marco.  

After dinner, which tasted surprisingly good, they went on a gondola boat ride in the moonlight. The gondolier sang Italian songs while paddling them through the canals.  

“O sole mio,” the gondolier sang while Alec and Magnus snuggled close together. Magnus had his arm around Alec and Alec laid his head on his shoulder, looking at the sky.  

“So many stars,” he observed, “We don’t see them in New York like this.” 

“New York is tarnished with light pollution,” Magnus said, while pouring champagne into two glasses and handing one to Alec. “We should take better care of this earth, we only have the one.” 

Alec sat up and took a sip when the gondolier started a new song. He noticed a crease in Magnus’s forehead. “Is it no good?” he asked. 

“It tastes fine,” Magnus said, “But this music, though.” 

He sat up and his eyes began to shine, a sign that he was coming up with a new, probably insane and invigorating idea. “I was thinking we should go to Vienna, to the Wiener Staatsoper, to see an opera and hear some real Italian singers.” 

Alec nodded, he didn’t know much about opera, but he was willing to try it out. Especially since Magnus seemed so excited about it. “You like opera?” 

“I did when it was all the rage, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen one, though,” Magnus replied. 

“Really? When was the last time you saw one?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Magnus waved Alec’s question away, “You want to go, then? Tomorrow?” 

“Sure,” Alec said, feeling a slight tinge of irritation. Why wouldn’t Magnus answer his question? It was a harmless question, wasn’t it? 

Magnus seemed to have forgotten about it already, as he enthusiastically started to plan for their next journey and how they would need suits for the opera. “You, too, Alexander,” he said sternly, “We’ll go to Berlin first, I know the best store over there. You can’t go to the opera wearing this.” Magnus looked disapprovingly at Alec’s dark blue sweater.  

Alec smiled, “Very well, I’ll wear a suit.” 

Magnus’s face lit up at that. “Great, we’ll go shopping tomorrow!” 

* * *

 

The next day they went to Berlin. Magnus was wearing Lederhosen, which made Alec smile. They bought two black suits, ate a dinner with a lot of meat, sausages and schnitzel, at a restaurant near the Gedächtniskirche, and then Magnus portalled them to Vienna, where he conjured up opera tickets for the opera playing that evening. They arrived through a Portal which was near the Opera House, and they went straight from there to the Opera. Alec was looking forward to it, after Magnus had been talking about it all day, he was very curious to see it. 

Just before they entered the building, Magnus received a fire message. Alec frowned. A fire message could hardly mean someone had to share some good news. Most of the time they meant someone needed something from the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He looked over Magnus’s shoulder to read the message and found this was no exception. Magnus was needed in New York at once, there was a matter of a rogue vampire who had killed Shadowhunters. And Magnus’s expertise was needed. The message was signed by Maryse Lightwood. 

“Why?” Alec said, annoyed, “Why would she do this?” 

Magnus had gone very still, rereading the note. “Perhaps because it’s a matter of urgency,” he said, “Seems like the opera has to wait.” 

“We’re actually going back to New York now?” Alec was baffled, “Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” 

“Alexander, your mother needs us,” Magnus said, while turning around, walking towards the Portal. “We should go.” 

Alec followed him, wondering why his mom would possibly need them for a rogue vampire. Magnus had conjured up their luggage and they hastily entered the Portal, back to New York, where they arrived outside the Institute. They went in and found Maryse in the Cathedral, next to the Sanctuary. 

She hugged Alec quickly and then turned to walk to the sanctuary, indicating for them to follow. “It’s really good of you to come so quickly,” she said to Magnus, while opening the door, “We really didn't expect you until tomorrow, at the earliest.” 

Alec snorted, frustrated because Magnus had felt the need to come instantly and now they missed the opera. Inside the Sanctuary he saw a blonde vampire girl standing, her wrists bound behind her back, she was standing against a pillar. Magnus was explaining to his mother how he found it necessary to come flying back here at her beckon call. 

“I still really don't see what any of this has to do with us,” Alec couldn’t help but say. “So you caught a vampire who was up to something nasty. Aren't they always?” 

He gazed into the half dark Sanctuary behind the vampire girl and suddenly his eye fell on Simon, standing at the back. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, saying something so offensive in front of Clary’s best friend, who was also dating his sister. “Sorry, Simon,” he hasted to say, “I didn’t mean you. You’re different.” 

Simon nodded at him while Maryse answered his question. “She is of interest in our current investigation into the deaths of three Shadowhunters. We need information from her, and she will only talk to Magnus Bane.” 

"Really?" Alec looked at the vampire girl again, wondering why that was. "Only to Magnus?" 

Magnus, next to him, followed his gaze and Alec noticed the girl was staring at Magnus with a weird intense gaze. Alec glanced at Magnus, who was staring back at her, smiling a pensive smile. What was going on _here_? 

“Yes,” Maryse said, she seemed to be as puzzled as Alec was. “That is, if Magnus is willing.” 

“I am,” Magnus said. “I’ll talk to Camille for you.” 

“Camille?” Alec felt suddenly very uncomfortable, as he raised his eyebrows at Magnus. “You know her, then? Or she knows you?” 

“We know each other.” Magnus shrugged, “Once upon a time she was my girlfriend.” 

“Your girlfriend?” Alec was dumbfounded, completely unprepared for this. “You dated a vampire? A girl vampire?” 

“It was a hundred and thirty years ago,” said Magnus. “I haven't seen her since.” 

“Why didn't you tell me?” Alec demanded, he felt he was getting upset. This was huge, Magnus dating a vampire, a girl even. Alec thought back to those times when Magnus would wave away his questions about his past. He looked at the warlock now, who gave a deep sigh, seemingly frustrated by his question. 

“Alexander, I've been alive for hundreds of years. I've been with men, been with women. With faeries and warlocks and vampires, and even a djinn or two.” He looked sideways at Maryse, who looked mildly horrified. “Too much information?” 

“It's all right,” she said. “I have to discuss something with Kadir for a moment. I'll be back.”  

His mother turned and left, and Alec whirled on Magnus. “How many other people? Roughly.” 

Magnus shook his head. “I can't count, and it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is how I feel about you.” 

“More than a hundred?” Alec asked, feeling vulnerable and scared all of a sudden. Magnus stared at him, his face expressionless. “Two hundred?” 

“I can't believe we're having this conversation now,” Magnus said, avoiding to answer his question once again.  

“Why so many?” Alec asked, feeling more and more frustrated at Magnus for his evasiveness. “Do you get bored with people fast?” 

“I live forever,” Magnus said quietly. “But not everyone does.” 

Alec didn’t know what to think about that. “So you just stay with them as long as they live, and then you find someone else?” 

Magnus was quiet for awhile, staring at him. Then he said somewhat coldly, “Would you rather I spent all of eternity alone?” 

Alec felt as if he had been kicked in the gut. He wanted to say that of course he wouldn’t want that, but the words wouldn’t come. And when he spoke, all he said was, “I'm going to find Isabelle.” 

Feeling extremely frustrated with both Magnus and himself, he turned and stepped back into the Institute. He took the elevator upstairs and headed for Isabelle’s room. After one knock she threw the door open. “Alec! You’re here already?” 

“Yeah,” Alec mumbled, he stepped through the door and threw himself on Izzy’s bed. 

“What’s wrong?” Isabelle crossed her arms over her chest and regarded him closely. 

 _Everything._ “Nothing, I’m just bummed out because our vacation is cut short.” 

“I know! I said so to mum,” Isabelle crossed the room and sat at her vanity table. She held up a piece of paper which looked like a party invitation and waved it in front of him. “But at least you guys can come to Luke and Jocelyn’s engagement party tonight, right?” 

“I guess so,” Alec said. 

“Is Magnus talking with Camille now?” Izzy inquired. 

“Yes. What’s going on with that vampire?” Alec asked. 

“No idea. She wanted something from Simon, but now it turned out she killed Shadowhunters. But why does she want to talk with Magnus?” Isabelle was looking at Alec via her mirror, while applying some dark red lipstick on her lips. 

“It seems they knew each other,” Alec said moodily, “She was his girlfriend once. Can you believe it?” 

Isabelle’s eyebrows shot up, “Really? So they have a past. I wonder what she wants with him.” 

“Me, too,” Alec sighed and stood up from the bed, heading towards the door. 

“Where are you going?” Isabelle asked. 

“I’m going to find out what she wants from him,” Alec said. 

“Are you sure that’s a smart thing to do, Alec? Maybe better to stay out of it.” Isabelle was frowning now, “I mean, your boyfriend and his ex, you shouldn’t get involved in that.” 

“Maybe not,” Alec said but he was already out the door, on his way back to the elevator. 

“You’re coming to the party, though?” Isabelle shouted from her room. 

Alec ignored her while taking the elevator down. He was thinking back at what Magnus had said. _Would you rather I spent all of eternity alone?_ It would be totally illogical for Alec to want that, but he never really realized what it entailed. Magnus being immortal. Magnus having tons of exes. Giving his heart away again and again while Alec knew he had only one lifetime to give his heart away. And he’d given it away already. Only to find out his was one of many in Magnus’s life.  

And now Magnus was talking to one of them, an ex who was immortal like he was. Alec needed to know what they were saying to each other. Knowing it was completely childish but not able to resist the urge, he walked to the door of the Sanctuary and stood still next to it, listening for what was said on the other side of it. He drew out his stele and quickly applied a rune for extra good hearing on his wrist. Instantly he heard the voice of the vampire through the door.  

“Remember London? The parties at de Quincey's? Remember Will Herondale? I know you do. That boy of yours, that Lightwood. They even look alike.” 

“Do they?” Magnus replied. 

“Pretty boys have always been your undoing,” Camille said. “But what can some mortal child give you? Ten years, twenty, before dissolution begins to claim him. Forty years, fifty, before death takes him. I can give you all of eternity.” 

Alec sucked in a breath, at those words. Was she actually trying to seduce Magnus? 

“You could give me the past,” Magnus sounded a bit sad. “But Alec is my future.” 

Alec knew he should be happy with Magnus’s response, but he felt upset. Confronted with his own mortality. He was going to age and die, twenty years before dissolution, and then Magnus would forget all about him and search for another love. Or maybe he’ll go back to Camille then, as she was immortal, like he was. The idea of Magnus being with that vampire girl, and Alec forgotten, made his skin crawl. 

“Alec.” His head jerked up, seeing his mother standing next to him, “What are you doing here?” 

“Waiting for Magnus,” Alec replied, he crossed his arms defiantly. 

“Come,” she said, “We’re going in.” 

She opened the door, and Alec stared at Magnus and the vampire. Magnus was sitting on the floor, very close to her, his hand touching her cheek. Alec felt a pang in his chest at the sight of them. 

“Magnus,” said his mother. “Have you come to some agreement?” 

Magnus dropped his hand and turned around. “I'm not sure I'd call it an agreement, but I do think we have some things to talk about.” 

“Good,” said Maryse as Magnus got up from the floor and walked towards them. He was looking at Alec now, but Alec avoided his stare. Instead he looked at the vampire behind him, who had her head down, her ivory blonde hair falling in front of her, covering her face. 

Just before the door closed she looked up and Alec caught her eyes. They were shining as she looked at him, with triumph or sadness, Alec couldn’t tell. But he knew one thing, and that was how much he disliked her. 

Magnus was talking with his mother, telling her Camille wanted to make a deal. Immunity for telling them who she was working for. Maryse shook her head, “We can’t do that, she killed Nephilim.” 

“That’s what I said,” Magnus replied, “But she seems rather serious about it. You might want to consider it. There's more going on here than just a rogue vampire. Camille is too smart for that.” 

Before Maryse could answer him, the elevator opened and Isabelle stepped out, wearing a long, red dress, matching her lipstick. “Magnus,” she beamed at the warlock, “Did Alec tell you about the party? Are you guys coming with me?” 

Magnus cast Alec a glance before smiling charmingly down at Isabelle, “Alec didn’t tell me anything. What party? Luke’s and Jocelyn’s, I assume?” 

“How did you know?” Isabelle sounded surprised. 

“I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Isabelle,” Magnus said, “There isn’t much I don’t know.” 

He turned to Alec now, “Do you want to go?” 

Alec shrugged, knowing Isabelle wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Why not.”  


	46. You Are Not Trivial

_“I think Alec and Magnus are fighting”_

  * City of Fallen Angels, p. 303



* * *

####  _**Alec** _

Alec was quiet in the car, while Isabelle was asking them about their vacation. Magnus was doing the talking, though he occasionally cast a glance at Alec, obviously wondering what was going on with him.

When they arrived at the party, Isabelle went to look for Simon and Alec and Magnus went to sit at a table, where Clary was sitting alone, drinking ginger ale from a champagne glass.

“Where’s Jace?” Alec asked, expecting to see him here.

“He’s in the Institute,” Clary said.

“Strange, I didn’t see him there,” he replied. Clary shrugged and he let the matter drop. Magnus laid a hand on his arm, “You want to call him?”

Alec pulled his arm away and crossed his hands over his chest. He felt rather upset with Magnus and actually wished Jace was there so he could talk to him. Clary raised her eyebrows as if to ask what was wrong, but she didn’t say anything. Magnus drew back his hand and started to play with the fringes of his scarf. At that point Simon arrived with a very beautiful boy at his side, a werewolf called Jordan. They sat at the table, but no one talked. Alec was wishing he could be anywhere else than here, order his thoughts and find out what it was that was bothering him so much.

“So,” Magnus said, turning his attention to the werewolf boy. “Jordan. I hear you're in the Praetor Lupus. I see you're wearing one of their medallions. What does it say on it?”

Jordan nodded. “Beati bellicosi: Blessed are the warriors.”

“Good organization,” said Magnus. “I knew the man who founded it, back in the 1800s. Woolsey Scott. Respectable old werewolf family.”

It rubbed Alec the wrong way, of course Magnus would tell this information to a complete stranger, a very cute looking stranger at that. Woolsey Scott, Magnus never mentioned him to Alec. Probably because he was one of his exes who he had forgotten about.

And Alec couldn’t help but sneer, “Did you sleep with him, too?”

Magnus stared at him in horror, “Alexander!”

“Well, I don't know anything about your past, do I?” Alec demanded. “You won't tell me anything; you just say it doesn't matter.”

Magnus was angry, Alec could tell. It didn’t show in his expression, but the tense set of his shoulders gave it away. “Does this mean every time I mention anyone I've ever met, you're going to ask me if I had an affair with them?”

“Maybe.”

“I met Napoleon once,” said Magnus. “We didn't have an affair, though. He was shockingly prudish for a Frenchman.”

“You met Napoleon?” said the werewolf boy. “So it's true what they say about warlocks, then?”

Alec shot him a vicious look, “What's true?”

“Alexander,”  said Magnus, Alec heard he was really mad now, "You can't be rude to everyone who talks to me.”

Alec spread his arms out, wanting to lash out at Magnus. “And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He's pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type.”

“Hey, now,” said werewolf boy.

Magnus put his head in his hands.

“Or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?” Alec couldn’t help himself, he knew he shouldn’t say all this, especially not with all these people here, but he was just plain mad, and he couldn’t care less about what everyone else would think.

"Mermaids," said Magnus into his fingers. "They always smell like seaweed."

“It's not funny,” Alec said and he shoved back the chair, got up and walked away. He wished again with a profound longing that Jace were here, or Isabelle. They knew him, they knew how to talk to him and calm him down. He didn’t even know why he was so upset.

He strolled through the hall towards a table in a corner, where no one would bother him. He sat down, his head in his hands, trying to gather his thoughts. He knew Magnus loved him, he didn’t doubt that. But what did love even mean when you live forever. Time going by without changing anything. Years turn into decades and decades into centuries. All meaning would eventually disappear. You would love someone and in a few decades they’d be gone and you’d go and love someone else.

For Alec, this was unthinkable. He gave his heart away, and that was it. There was no return policy. He loved with his whole heart, irrevocable. And it would last for as long as he lived. Magnus could never share that with him. Magnus would love him for now, and move on after he’d gone.

And that was something that bothered Alec more than anything. He didn’t know how to deal with it, without blaming Magnus, even though he knew Magnus wasn’t at fault. And he didn’t want him to be alone for all eternity. Of course not, and yet…

He saw him approach from the corner of his eye, but he didn’t react, even when Magnus grabbed a chair, spun it around and sat down, looking at him. “Do you want to go back to Vienna?”

Alec didn’t react, didn’t know how to, or what to say.

“Or we could go somewhere else,” Magnus tried again. “Anywhere you want. Thailand, South Carolina, Brazil, Peru. Oh, wait, no, I'm banned from Peru. I'd forgotten about that. It's a long story, but amusing if you want to hear it.”

Alec turned away from him, not wanting to talk, afraid that if he’d speak, he’d say something horrible again and Magnus would be mad or hurt or both. Magnus, upon being ignored started to change the colors of the champagne in the glasses that were standing on the table. Alec noticed people were casting furtive glances in their direction, so he turned and hit Magnus on his wrist.

"Stop that," he said. "People are looking."

“Well,” Magnus replied. “I have to do something to keep myself from dying of boredom, since you're not talking to me.”

“I'm not,” said Alec stubborn, “Not talking to you, I mean.”

“Oh?” said Magnus. “I just asked you if you wanted to go to Vienna, or Thailand, or the moon, and I don't recall you saying anything in response.”

“I don't know what I want,” Alec said, feeling it was the truest thing he’d said that evening. He picked up a plastic fork and poked it in the table cloth. He looked at Magnus through his eyelashes, saw him staring at him. He knew that look, a pensive look. Magnus lost in thoughts about a past he didn’t want to share.

Alec decided to bring up Camille, and Will. Magnus laughed when he asked about him and told him he was a Shadowhunter. And that Camille was a vicious person, who could play you and manipulate you if you’d let her.

“She said pretty boys were your undoing,” Alec said. “Which makes it sound like I'm just one in a long line of toys for you. One dies or goes away, you get another one. I'm nothing. I'm… trivial.”

“Alexander!” Magnus looked shocked.

“Which is especially unfair, because you are anything but trivial for me.” Alec interrupted him, “I changed my whole life for you. But nothing ever changes for you, does it? I guess that's what it means to live forever. Nothing ever really has to matter all that much.”

“I'm telling you that you do matter-” Magnus tried again but Alec suddenly remembered something else.

“The Book of the White,” he said. “Why did you want it so badly?”

Magnus looked puzzled. “You know why. It's a very powerful spellbook.”

“But you wanted it for something specific, didn't you? A spell that was in it? You don't have to answer; I can tell by your face that you did. Was it… was it a spell for making me immortal?”

Now Magnus looked more than shocked, his voice dropped to a whisper, “Alec, no. No, I-I wouldn't do that.”

“Why not? Why through all the years of all the relationships you've ever had have you never tried to make any of them immortal like you? If you could have me with you forever, wouldn't you want to?” Alec felt afraid of what Magnus would reply.

“Of course I would!” Magnus’s voice rose, and then lowered. “But you don't understand. You don't get something for nothing. The price for living forever- ”

It was at that point that Isabelle interrupted their conversation, telling Magnus he was needed because apparently Camille had escaped from the Institute. Magnus didn’t want to go, but Alec knew he should.

“Go,” he said. “It's an emergency. Just go. We can talk later.”

Magnus was wavering, he clearly didn’t want to end their conversation unfinished like this.

“Magnus...” Isabelle said, pleading.

“Fine.” Magnus gave in and stood up. But before leaving he took a step towards Alec and leaned over him, saying close to his ear,  “But, you are not trivial.”

"If you say so," Alec said softly.

“I say so,” said Magnus with a firmness that made Alec want to believe him. Then he turned to follow Isabelle out of the room.

Alec stared after him, his head propped in his hands. _You are not trivial_

He believed him, Magnus didn’t lie. At least, not about something as important as this. But trivial or not, he was mortal. A few years away from dissolution. And then what? _Would he still love me after I’m gone?_


	47. Not Ready to Lose You

_Alec looked up just as Magnus reached him, caught him, and pulled him close._

  * City of Fallen Angels, p.423



* * *

 

_**Magnus** _

It was futile, Magnus knew that, the hunt for Camille. As soon as he arrived at the Institute, Maryse was on him, asking him about her. Where she could have gone, how it was possible that she had escaped. He couldn’t answer her questions and he was distressed because this pointless mission had taken him away from Alec. He was worried about him. He’d never seen Alec act out like this, so harsh and rude. He guessed it was a side of him he never had met before because there was never any need for it. But now, Alec seemed so upset. It was this whole immortality business, Magnus guessed, that was bothering him. He didn’t quite know why. Alec knew he was immortal, he had known that even before they met.

Then again, Alec had been preoccupied with other things throughout their relationship. He probably never spent much thought on it until now. Until Camille had found it necessary to shake things up a little. Ugh. Magnus couldn’t help but resent her for it. She was so vicious, and cunning like a snake. He wondered how it was possible that he had ever loved her. For all the world he couldn’t find anything in her anymore that was appealing.

He stood in the sanctuary, discussing Camille’s escape with Maryse, telling her Camille might have had help from the outside. The guard had been called away for less than five minutes, yet it had been enough for Camille to disappear.

Maryse nodded when a fire message appeared in front of them, addressed to the Conclave.

_To the Conclave of the New York Institute,_

_Maryse,_

_We are in need of back-up. We’ve been attacked by a cult, worshipping the Greater Demon, Lilith. She, herself, was here as well but seemed to have vanished. Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern is lying in a coffin on the roof. The whole scene needs to be inspected. Jace and Clary are wounded. Can Magnus come, too? I think Clary needs his help._

_Alec_

Underneath his name, an address was scribbled. Magnus read the message over Maryse’s shoulder as soon as he recognized his boyfriends handwriting.

“By the Angel,” Maryse whispered. “What is this? Lilith.”

“It’s nothing good, I’ll tell you,” Magnus said. “An attack of cult worshippers. We should go at once.”

Maryse nodded and turned around, walking out of the sanctuary and into the Institute. “I have to call for reinforcement.”

Magnus followed her, he felt an extreme worry for Alec coming over him. He knew he shouldn’t have left him when he was this upset. Now he’d gone and thrown himself into some sort of fight, getting himself into danger. Magnus shuddered at the thought of something happening to Alec. He couldn’t bare it. And Clary and Jace were hurt. And Lilith, that was not nothing. She was extremely dangerous. It was a miracle that any of them had survived an encounter with her at all.

Magnus waited at the entrance of the Institute for Maryse and a dozen other Shadowhunters to get ready. He pulled out his phone and send a message to Luke, thinking he and Jocelyn had a right to know this, too. Finally Maryse came down, dressed in gear, a weapons belt around her hips.

“Let’s go,” she said to him. Together they left the Institute and pulled into a car. Kadir was driving. Magnus sat in the front and looked at Maryse through the rear view mirror. She looked determined, very much like her daughter. Her eyes were Alec’s, though, a beautiful blue. She caught him looking at her.

“They’ll be fine,” she said to him. “My children know how to take of themselves.”

Magnus was surprised, because he realized she was actually reassuring him. Apparently his worry for Alec was written on his face. He nodded at her and stared out of the window, watching New York passing by. He wished they could go faster, that he could use his magic to speed it up a little. But Kadir wouldn’t let him, saying he was going as fast as he could and that was fast enough.

Shadowhunters, boy, did they suck sometimes.

Finally they arrived at the building and Magnus jumped out of the car and ran to the entrance hall, Maryse and Kadir with him. Inside the lobby Magnus instantly saw Alec, standing next to the elevator and he rushed to him, his hands outstretched and pulled him in the circle of his arms. His hand reached up to touch Alec’s face, wanting to know if he was okay.

“How could you go off like this and not even tell me,” he said in a low voice. “I could have helped you.”

“Stop it.” Alec pulled away from him, looking frustrated.

It confirmed what Magnus had thought, he was still upset. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have left the party. I should have stayed with you. Camille's gone anyway. No one's got the slightest idea where she went, and since you can't track vampires...”

“Never mind,” Alec said, though Magnus saw a brief flutter of anxiety in his dark blue eyes. “She doesn't matter. I know you were just trying to help. I'm not angry with you for leaving the party, anyway.”

“But you were angry,” said Magnus, badly wanting to make things right again. “I knew you were. That's why I was so worried. Running off and putting yourself in danger just because you're angry with me.”

“I'm a Shadowhunter,” Alec said exasperated. “Magnus, this is what I do. It's not about you. Next time fall in love with an insurance adjuster or—”

“Alexander,” said Magnus, interrupting him, wanting to reassure him. “There isn't going to be a next time.”

He leaned his forehead against Alec's, staring into his stunning blue eyes. Alec’s eye color changed with his moods, Magnus had noticed, and they were dark blue now, like the night sky. It told Magnus he was still very frustrated.

“Why not?” Alec asked, surprised. “You live forever. Not everyone does.”

“I know I said that,” said Magnus. “But, Alexander-”

“Stop calling me that,” Alec interrupted him, sounding annoyed. "Alexander is what my parents call me. And I suppose it's very advanced of you to have accepted my mortality so fatalistically. Everything dies, blah, blah. But how do you think that makes me feel? Ordinary couples can hope… Hope to grow old together, hope to live long lives and die at the same time, but we can't hope for that. I don't even know what it is you want.”

Magnus stared at him, feeling so sad suddenly, at the idea of Alec growing old and dying without him. And he’d be left behind, unable to follow him. The thought broke his heart.

“Alex-Alec.” Magnus checked himself, trying to give Alec what he wanted. “If I gave you the impression I had accepted the idea of your death I can only apologize. I tried to, I thought I had.” He swallowed, it was actually painful to say the words out loud.

“And yet still I pictured having you for fifty, sixty more years,” he continued. “I thought I might be ready then to let you go. But it's you, and I realize now that I won't be any more ready to lose you then than I am right now.”

He felt his voice break as he cupped Alec's face with his hands, brushing over his cheekbones with his thumbs. “Which is not at all,” he said softly.

The color in Alec’s eyes changed to a softer blue, and his hands reached up and rested on Magnus’s waist. “So what do we do?” he whispered.

Magnus shrugged, and smiled, suddenly happy despite the intensity of this conversation. “What everyone does,” he replied. “Like you said. Hope.”

Alec’s mouth twisted a little, but he didn’t smile back. Magnus saw he looked a bit sad, even. “Hey, hey,” he whispered, pressing his head against Alec. “We’ll be okay, Alec. I love you, you know that don’t you? You said you don’t know what I want. But all I ever want is you. It’s you.”

Alec nodded and suddenly his arms on Magnus’s waist pulled him closer and the next moment Magnus felt his lips on him. Alec moved his mouth against him slowly and Magnus kissed him back with fervor. He felt his heart beating in his chest as Alec parted his lips and slid his tongue in his mouth. It was going to be fine, this was just a little hiccup, every relation had hiccups. It was nothing they couldn’t handle. Magnus pressed his body into Alec’s while one of his hands glided into Alec’s hair, pulling him closer. Alec gasped against his lips, but his hands were around Magnus now and Magnus felt the safety and peace he always felt when he was in Alec’s arms. Alec was here. Alec was safe. Magnus felt tethered to the world again.

Alec broke off the kiss, breathing hard, he pressed his forehead against Magnus. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For being so rude today at that party. I was just-”

“Angry?” Magnus smiled at him. “It’s fine, honey. But can I ask you something now that you’re not angry anymore?”

“Sure,” Alec looked at him questioningly.

“Do you really hate it when I call you Alexander?” Magnus asked. “Because I really love your name.”

Alec laughed and Magnus’s heart jumped at the sound of it. “It’s fine, really. I don’t hate it. I was just being obnoxious.”

Magnus smiled and brushed his hand over Alec’s face, he pulled him into a tight hug and they stood like that for a while.

All around them Shadowhunters were checking the building for cult members and demons. Isabelle had reported to her mother what had happened and Maryse had gone up to the roof to look for Jace. “What happened?” Magnus asked Alec, realizing he had no clue what was going on.

Alec told him about the cult, how they had tried to create babies who were like Sebastian. Humans with demon blood in them. He saw Alec’s eyes fill with tears as he told him of the room with cribs, a dead child in every single one of them.“It was Lilith’s work,” Alec said. “She’s Sebastian’s mother, apparently. Or, well, he’s Jonathan really. But that’s Jace’s name, too, and it seems unfit.”

Magnus thought back at the day he met Sebastian, thinking how he felt the name didn’t suit him. Jonathan was his name, his real name. But he understood Alec’s wavering and his pain, too. All those dead children, and Sebastian. Of course Alec’s mind was on his little brother, Max.

“It sounds horrible,” he said. Alec nodded and wanted to say something when the elevator door opened and Maryse stepped out, her face white, a frantic look in her eyes.

“There’s no one there,” she said. “The roof… It’s empty.”

Alec broke away from Magnus and turned to his mother. “What are you talking about?”

“Jace isn’t there, and neither is Sebastian,” Maryse said.

Magnus saw Alec tense at Maryse’s words.

“That can’t be,” Alec said. “He was there when we…”

He broke off the sentence and turned to Clary, who was standing behind them, white faced.

“How was he, Clary?” Alec asked. “When you left him?”

“He was− he was fine,” Clary stammered. “I mean, he was− we talked about it, the possession I mean, and he was blaming himself but we talked it through, and he was okay when I left. I don’t understand…”

“What possession?” Magnus asked.

Alec looked at him, worry creased his face. “Jace was possessed by Lilith. She was using him as a counterweight. Because he died.”

Magnus frowned. “He died?” His voice shooting up an octave in surprise.

“Yeah, they didn’t tell us,” Alec said.

Everyone was looking at him now as he explained how Jace was killed by Valentine and revived by the Angel at Clary’s request. For Magnus it felt as if the pieces of the puzzle finally fell into place. He’d always known there was something off with Jace when they found him and Clary at Lake Lynn on the day of the Mortal War. He died. That explained everything. Alec feeling his parabatai bond breaking. Jace drained without any apparent reason.

And Lilith had known and used the information to bring Jonathan (or Sebastian) back to life. And now Sebastian was gone and Jace had disappeared with him.

The Shadowhunters around him raised their seraph blades and spread out, searching the building. Alec whirled on him, “Magnus, can you track him?”

Magnus nodded. “I need something that’s his,” he said.

He turned around, facing Clary. “Biscuit, do you have anything that’s Jace’s?” he asked, his hands already sparkling blue to start the tracking.

Clary handed him a ring, silver with stars patterned at the sides and an M embedded in the middle. “It’s his ring,” she said. “It’s a Morgenstern ring.”

Magnus whispered a spell, but before he finished it, Clary collapsed in front of him. Luke, moving with werewolf speed caught her in his arms and laid her down. Magnus put the ring away and bent over her.

“She hurt her head pretty bad,” he heard Alec say beside him.

Magnus knelt down and searched her skull with his hands, whispering spells of healing, sending blue sparks into her head. “She needs bed rest,” he told an anxious Jocelyn. She and Luke took Clary with them and disappeared.

Magnus took the ring out again and chanted a tracking spell. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to find a location where Jace might be. But all he saw was a blur.

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes again was Alec’s anxious gaze. “Anything?” he asked.

Magnus shook his head.

“He’s gone,” Alec trembled as he spoke the words. “Jace is gone.” 


	48. City of Lost Souls - Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: City of Lost Souls belongs to Cassandra Clare. I've used the book and copied dialogue for my story. So please give Cassie all the credit. In City of Lost Souls you will find explicit sexual content M/M so consider yourself warned. I hope you all love it and love Malec as much as I do. As always, let me know your thoughts. I <3 you guys!  
> Special thank you to my beta's ealamusings and lana holt, you girls are the best!

**City of Lost Souls**

**Prologue**

* * *

####  **_Alec_ **

Why won’t you tell me anything

Why do you feel the need

To hide your past

Don’t you know your past

Is what makes you

Who you are

And if you won’t share that with me

What does that make me

What does that make us

Open up

Magnus

_Open_

 

* * *

 

####  _**Magnus** _

I don’t understand why the past

Has to matter so much

You are my future

You are my life

And the past is another country

Don’t push me

Don’t betray me

I am right here

Saying your name

I never want to do this again

 


	49. To Be Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: explicit sexual content

_**Alec** _

It had been about a week and a half since Jace went missing from the rooftop. Ten days since Alec’s mother came down with the elevator, confusion written across her face, “There’s no one there.”

Alec still couldn’t understand it. He’d asked Clary again and again what had happened after they left. She said Jace had been fine and they talked and all was good. But the next moment he was gone. Clary was more than upset, one time she even shouted at Alec for questioning her again. He felt at a loss, more than once he found his fingers trailing down to his left inner forearm, brushing his parabatai rune, almost absentmindedly. As if he could feel Jace through the rune, but he couldn’t.

Magnus had instantly started tracking Jace, but he never found him. It was as if he had disappeared from the face of the earth. Alec was unhinged. The uncertainty, the unanswered questions kept nagging him. What if Jace were dead, what if Jace were gone forever? He didn’t think he could handle it. Being parabatai was more than just being friends. They had a strong and intimate connection, and Alec didn’t know how to live without that.

Then the patrols began. Hours and hours of walking, running through the city. Isabelle at his side, both of them intent on finding Jace, knowing it was futile. A part of Alec knew Jace wasn’t in New York anymore, he would’ve known, would’ve felt something. And Magnus would’ve been able to track him. He continued the sixteen hours of patrols a day anyway, knowing it was the only thing he could do. To do at least something, anything.

At the end of each shift he’d go to Brooklyn and collapse on Magnus’s bed. Barely able to say a word before losing consciousness. He didn’t know how long he was going to be able to handle this. The stress and anxiety were gnawing on him.

When he woke up that morning, the sun peeping through the curtains, he stared up at the ceiling, feeling empty and worn out. He should get out of bed, call Izzy and start another round of searching. But he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t muster the strength. He turned to his side and fixed his eyes on Magnus, who was lying next to him, sleeping peacefully. His hair spread out over the pillow, his face looking young and relaxed in sleep. But Alec saw the circles under his eyes and knew this was taking its toll on Magnus, too.

He’d been looking for spells and other ways of tracking for hours on end. Trying to find anything else that might work. Alec felt a rush of affection for the warlock, knowing he did it for him, and he felt a sudden need to be closer to him. Carefully he reached out a hand and brushed a lock of hair from Magnus’s forehead. Wanting to touch him but not wake him, he scooted a little closer. His finger trailed down over Magnus’s jaw, down his bare shoulder and over his arm. He reveled in the softness and warmth of the golden sun kissed skin. Smooth and scarless, nothing like his own pale and blemished skin.

Magnus sighed and turned on his back, his head falling to the side. Alec moved a little closer and lay his head on Magnus’s shoulder, breathing deep, inhaling his scent. He closed his eyes, feeling so vulnerable and emotional. All he wanted was to be held. But to wake Magnus, he couldn’t do that. So he wrapped his arm around Magnus’s bare torso and snuggled a little closer, pressing his lips against his neck. _I love you, I’m so tired, Magnus._

Magnus stirred at Alec’s touch and Alec felt his arm reach out and touch Alec’s hand. He turned to his side and wrapped an arm around Alec, pulling him against him. Alec pressed into the contact, sliding his arm around Magnus, to be closer.

“Did I wake you?” he whispered in Magnus’s neck.

“Hmmm,” Magnus’s voice was barely audible, but Alec felt him pressing his face in Alec’s hair and gently tugging at him. “I don’t mind,” his voice was soft as a whisper.

Alec felt his body shudder, an extreme desire to be closer, closer, _closer_ came over him as he brushed his lips against Magnus’s neck, trailing down to his throat and then finally raising his head, meeting Magnus’s mouth.

The kiss was lazy, slow and intimate. Their mouths moving against each other. Alec took Magnus’s bottom lip between his and nibbled on it. Magnus slid his hands under Alec’s pajama shirt, softly brushing his fingers over Alec’s shoulder blades and his spine. It wasn’t enough, not close enough, not near enough. Alec pulled Magnus on top of him, wanting to feel his weight pressing him down. His hands traveled down Magnus’s back and slid under the waistband of his boxers. He slid them down over Magnus’s hips and pressed him hard against him, longing for contact.

Magnus moaned in his mouth and broke away from him, reaching down to slide Alec’s pajamas over his head. Alec stared up into his eyes, thinking how beautiful he looked, even though he looked weary. Magnus brought his mouth down on his again, and Alec closed his eyes, drowning in the warmth and the comfort his boyfriend brought him. All the running and chasing and worrying from the past week was slowly pushed back to the back of his mind, as the feelings of tenderness and warmth overtook him. Magnus’s body on his, his lips against him, he shivered into the contact.

“Are you okay?” Magnus whispered against his lips, “You’re shaking.”

Alec reached up a hand and caressed his face, “I’m okay now. I just want…”

He broke off the sentence, not able to form the words, to express what it was that he wanted. Comfort, closeness, love.

“What do you want?” Magnus asked, a worried frown appearing on his forehead.

“Just to be with you,” Alec sighed, “Like this.”

Magnus brushed with his thumb over Alec’s lips. He looked gently at him and reached down between them to take off Alec’s shorts, leaving them both naked, and then he flipped them over, pulling Alec on top of him. He wrapped his arms tightly around Alec, and Alec gave in, nuzzling his head in the crook of Magnus’s neck. Magnus slid his hands down to Alec’s hips and he pulled them down slowly, creating a friction that made the heat spread through his body. They still weren’t close enough.

Alec trembled all over, wondering what it was that made him feel so out of control, as if he could break down and cry any minute now for no apparent reason. He pressed his face harder into Magnus’s neck and sighed deeply as Magnus pulled his hips, creating more friction, thrusting his own body into the contact. Then Alec felt him reach his hand between them and on him and he gasped. Magnus’s hand was moist and he coated him in a layer of warm oil. Magnus raised his legs up and put his knees to his chest.

“It’s okay’”  Magnus whispered and guided Alec to his entrance. As he moved slowly inside of him he was overwhelmed by the heat and tightness of his boyfriends body. He looked down into Magnus’s eyes, his own eyes wide, because of the awe-inspiring feeling of being so close to Magnus, to be able to be with him like this, to see his beautiful green-gold eyes shining up at him.

He wanted to cut open his skin and crawl inside Magnus, to be one and never apart from him again. Magnus had both his hands on Alec’s arms and pressed him close. Alec thrust further inside him, moving incredibly slow, there was no hurry, there was no urgency, he just wanted to feel Magnus. Around him, under him, his hands on his arms, pressing down on him.

His trembling didn’t subside, but got worse with every slow thrust. He felt so weak, so vulnerable, he was scared he was going to break apart in small pieces. He couldn’t even muster the strength to stay propped up, his arms wavering under the pressure of his own body weight and he crashed down on top of Magnus.  

His head bowed down, his chest pressed against Magnus, he felt Magnus’s hand caress his face and his soft whisper, “My baby, my baby, it’s okay, it’s okay. Just let it all go.”

And he did. He let go of the self-control, of the need to stay strong and whole. He couldn’t do it anymore. He broke down and the tears were sliding down his face. He wanted to be closer, still. Disappear inside of Magnus, only relishing in his warmth and his comfort forever. Not anything else, no world, no madness, no fear. Only this, only here and now. He cried, not even knowing why. Only understanding this strong longing to be where he was, where he belonged. Inside of Magnus, in his arms, his voice sounding in his ear, whispering over and over again, “It’s okay, Alexander, it’s okay.”

They hardly moved anymore, but it didn’t matter. Here was where he wanted to be, needed to be now. It was okay.

The tears slowly subsided and Magnus’s hands were on his arms, urging him to move and he started to thrust again. A little of his strength was returning as he moved with more purpose now, knowing they needed to come to some sort of completion at one point, even though he didn’t really want it to end.

Magnus moaned softly, he had his head back, his eyes were tightly shut. Alec stared down and reveled in the sheer beauty of him, overwhelmed by another rush of emotion that this beautiful creature would love him and be with him, comfort him and give him peace. His thrusts became faster and deeper. He closed his own eyes finally, giving into it, letting his body take over. Little stars were appearing behind his closed eyelids and he started to tremble violently. 

Magnus’s hands were digging in his arms, pulling him harder down on him and he cried out. Alec thrust a few times more until he fell apart, turning into liquid as he came. He rocked a few times more before sliding out of Magnus, who moved his legs down. Alec hovered over him but was unable to hold himself up, so he crashed down on him, letting his entire weight fall, knowing Magnus could handle it, could carry him.

He lay still then, his head on Magnus’s shoulder, his nose pressed into his neck. Magnus’s one hand trailed over his back and the other was in his hair. Alec closed his eyes and let go of all the tension in his body, every muscle relaxed, every nerve calmed down in the arms of the one he loved with all his heart and soul. He sighed deeply and whispered Magnus’s name softly against his throat.

“Alec,” Magnus said gently, after a long time of just lying here, “Honey.”

Alec shifted his body a little, now lying half next to Magnus and half on top of him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he whispered against Magnus’s shoulder.

“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Magnus said, his hand trailing over Alec’s back, drawing circles with his fingers. A soothing, comforting gesture. “You’re just exhausted, worn out from all the stress and anxiety.”

Alec nodded, it made sense. “I should probably go,” he said, “See if there’s any news at the Institute.”

“If there’s news they’ll call you,” Magnus replied, “Stay a little longer, rest your head. Be with me.”

“There’s nothing I want more,” Alec sighed deep, his eyes closed. “I just want to be here with you, lie with you, be close to you.”

“Then stay,” Magnus’s voice dropped to a whisper. He pulled the comforter over them both and pulled Alec tightly against him. “Stay with me.”

Alec subsided, thinking that for now he could stay. That if it were up to him he’d stay forever. Involuntarily his mind went to Camille. Camille whom he had met in that building on the night Jace had disappeared. Who had offered him a way to become immortal. To share eternity with Magnus. He had freed her and Camille was gone now, he’d probably never see her again. He had to be content with staying today. Content with being with Magnus today. And hoping for tomorrow. He pushed away the thoughts of Camille and focused instead on the calm and the warmth of Magnus’s body against his. Slowly he sank down into oblivion. The world receded, but Magnus was still there. His warmth enveloping him and the sweet release of sleep.

* * *

 

####  _Magnus_

Magnus was lying on his back, with Alec asleep in his arms. He was staring at the ceiling of his bedroom,  feeling tired, and worried for Alec. Worried for what might happen to him, to them. Ever since they had returned from their vacation Alec was tense and anxious. On that day they had that stupid fight over Camille and immortality. And just when that was solved, Jace had disappeared and Alec hadn’t been himself since. This morning, their love making had given him a little release for the first time since that fateful night. Magnus had felt the relaxation in Alec’s body, even though he had been crying in his arms. And it was still there now, now that he was sound asleep.

But despite Alec seemingly being relaxed now, Magnus felt a sense of foreboding. Something he couldn’t quite grasp. He thought about the dream he had of the city streets filled with blood, the end of the world. He was afraid of it. He’d lived for four hundred years but now, now since Alec was in his life, it didn’t seem long enough. He wanted more, more time with Alec. More of the love and the peace his Shadowhunter warrior brought with him. He couldn’t lose him, not now and not in sixty years, not ever. And yet…

Magnus was scared of the future, of what might happen. To him, to them.


	50. To Age and Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: some of the dialogue is copied from CoLS, ch1 and 2. It is owned by Cassandra Clare.

_**Alec** _

Alec was frustrated with how the Clave meeting went. Only a handful of people, including Magnus and Luke, had voted against de-prioritizing the search for Jace. It wasn’t enough. Now they were expected to sit and wait, instead of go and search. Not that the search had given them anything. Not even a single lead. It was quite hopeless. But to sit and wait was worse.

After the meeting Alec went to Isabelle’s room where she and Clary were anxiously waiting for news. When Clary told him about the idea of visiting the Seelie Queen he was skeptical about it. She’d asked Clary to come, but the Queen wasn’t to be trusted. Isabelle hugged him and whispered in his ear, “If she can do anything for us, we should at least try. We can’t lose him, Alec, not after Max.”

He tugged her hair affectionately and nodded, knowing she was right. What was there to lose with a visit to the Seelie Court, really? Who knew, the Queen might be able to help them. “We should all go,” he said. “But I have to tell Magnus, at least, what we're doing. It wouldn't be fair not to.”

Together with Clary and Izzy he went downstairs where he found Magnus sitting in a peg, talking to Luke. As soon as the warlock saw him he stood up and went to him.

“How did Clary take it?” Magnus asked as he approached him, standing close enough for Alec to lean into him.

Alec reached his arm up and put a hand on Magnus’s wrist. “She’s not happy. She wants to go to the Seelie Queen.”

“Why?” Magnus’s eyebrows shot up in question.

“Apparently the Queen has given Clary a bell to contact her with. If she ever needed anything.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Magnus shook his head, “The Seelie Queen never gives something to someone without a reason or without asking anything in return.”

“I know,” Alec nodded, “I’m suspicious about it, too. But Magnus, what choice do we have? We can at least try to see what it is she wants.”

“We?” Magnus asked, “No, no. I’m sorry but I’m not coming with you. If you want to visit the court, you’ll have to do it on your own. Although, I’d rather you wouldn’t.”

“Why won’t you come?” Alec asked, curious what the reason could be.

“Oh,” Magnus waved a hand in the air. “Nothing. No reason.”

“No reason? Come on, tell me?” Alec felt a hinge of annoyance at Magnus waving away his question.

“Very well,” Magnus sighed dramatically. “We have a past. A feud. I really don’t want to get into it, okay?”

“Fine,” Alec said, shortly, “But we’re going.”

He kissed Magnus on his lips and turned to look for Isabelle and Clary. Clary had called Simon and with the four of them they went to Central Park, where they were to ring the bell and see the Queen.

* * *

 

“Where’s Magnus?” asked Clary, once they were outside the Institute and Simon had joined them.

“He said it would be better if he didn't come. Apparently he and the Seelie Queen have some kind of history,” Alec said.

Isabelle raised her eyebrows at him, implicating what that history would be.

“Not that kind of history,” said Alec irritably. “Some kind of feud. Though, the way he got around before me, I wouldn't be surprised.”

“Alec!” Isabelle said, she pulled his arm and let Clary and Simon walk passed them. “Don’t be mean about your boyfriend.”

Alec shrugged, he couldn’t help it, it irritated him that Magnus was so closed about his past. He wasn’t just unwilling to tell about all the people he dated, it seemed he didn’t want to share anything with Alec and that was what bothered him.

“Mom told me about Dad wanting to become Inquisitor. What do you think?” Isabelle asked.

“Hmm, what?” Alec was still with his thoughts on Magnus.

“I think it's a bad idea. So, what do you think?” Isabelle repeated. Alec looked at her, uncomprehending. She rolled her eyes at him. “About Dad putting his name in for the Inquisitor position.”

“I think it sounds like a boring job.” Alec said while ducking out from under Isabelle’s extremely feminine umbrella. “I don't know why he'd want it.”

“I don't care if it's boring,” Isabelle hissed at him. “If he takes it, he'll be in Idris all the time. Like, all the time. He can't run the Institute and be the Inquisitor. He can't have two jobs at once.”

“If you've noticed, Iz, he's in Idris all the time anyway,” Alec said dryly.

“Alec!”

“What?” Alec said, shrugging, “It’s true.”

“I guess so,” Isabelle sighed.

* * *

Being inside the Seelie Court was something else entirely. The hall where the Queen received them looked like a big checkerboard, with large black and white square tiles. The walls seem to be made off tree bark and earth and leaves. The Queen was seated on a big golden sofa. She was a beautiful woman, even Alec could see that. Her hair a vibrant red, her eyes shining as she regarded them.

Clary did the talking, asking the Queen if she was willing to help them finding Jace. She stated the Queen had sent her the bell because she knew something was going on.

“Perhaps I did,” said the Queen, staring down at her own feet.

“I've noticed the Fair Folk often say 'perhaps' when there is a truth they want to hide,” Clary said. “It keeps you from having to give a straight answer.”

“Perhaps so,” said the Queen with an amused smile.

“'Mayhap' is a good word too,” Alec suggested.

“Also 'perchance,'” Izzy said.

“I see nothing wrong with 'maybe,'” said Simon. “A little modern, but the gist of the idea comes across.”

The Queen rolled her eyes. “I do not trust you, Valentine's daughter,” she said, waving their comments away. “There was a time I wanted a favor from you, but that time is over. Meliorn has his place on the Council. I am not sure there is anything you can offer me.”

"If you thought that," said Clary, "you never would have sent the bell."

“Very well.” The Queen sounded cold, and Alec could understand why Magnus disliked her. “I may be able to help you. But I will desire recompense.”

"Shocker," Simon muttered and Alec couldn’t help but laugh.

The Queen looked at him, her eyes widened and he instantly felt a great weakness coming over him. He gave a cry and staggered back, staring at his hands. They had changed from one moment to the next, from young to old and wrinkled, his fingers bent and stiff with old age. His back was hunched, too and he was trembling. He stared down and saw a reflection of himself in the tiled floor. He was gone, and what he saw instead was an old man. His breath caught in his throat.

“How swift mortal loveliness does fade,” the Queen smiled a vile smile at him. “Look at yourself, Alexander Lightwood. I give you a glimpse of yourself in a mere threescore years. What will your warlock lover say then of your beauty?”

Alec had trouble breathing, but then Isabelle was at his side, holding his arm. “Alec, it's nothing. It's a glamour.” She looked at him, pleading and then turned on the Queen. “Take it off him! Take it off!”

“If you and yours will speak to me with more respect, then I might consider it.”

“We will,” Clary said quickly. “We apologize for any rudeness.”

“I rather miss your Jace,” said the Queen. “Of all of you, he was the prettiest and the best-mannered.”

Alec was heaving, trying to breath steadily, but he couldn’t do it. Only Isabelle’s hold on him kept him on his feet. His heart was beating hard and all he heard was the Queen’s voice in his mind. _What will your warlock lover say then of your beauty?_

“We miss him too,” said Clary in a low voice. “We didn't mean to be ill-mannered. We humans can be difficult in our grief.”

“Hmph,” said the Queen, but she snapped her fingers and Alec felt the glamour fall away. He was himself again, but he felt faint and extremely upset. How swiftly mortal love fades. As if he weren’t scared enough of growing old with a boyfriend who would look like nineteen forever.

The Queen and Clary continued their talk, about some faerie rings the Queen wanted them to steal from the Institute. Alec didn’t pay attention anymore. He was badly shaken after what had happened. This was what it felt to age and die, and it was horrible.

After the visit Isabelle pressed Alec to come with them to Taki’s. He agreed with reluctance, but truth be told he was glad for the reason to not go to Brooklyn yet. He couldn’t face Magnus straight away after his experience in the Seelie Court. Alec felt more and more uncertain about his relationship with the warlock. Magnus not talking, Magnus not aging. Alec didn’t know how to deal with it. What was it like for Magnus to stay the same and never change, he wondered. Would he still be with Alec if he’d be old like he’d been in the Seelie Court. Or would he leave him for someone younger. Alec thought back at that night when Jace disappeared. Magnus had said he wasn’t ready to lose him, not now and not in sixty years. But Alec couldn’t help fretting about it.

He wished Magnus would open up to him. Talk to him, about this, about how he dealt with it in the past, about his life, who he was, what he did. What his hopes and dreams were, his regrets and his wishes. Alec thought about Clary using that Open Rune to free Jace from the Silent City. How he wished he could use an Open Rune on Magnus.

Open up, Magnus.

OPEN


	51. Something's Wrong

_**Magnus** _

It was getting late. Magnus was listening to Tchaikovsky and writing a note to Tessa, asking her if she could send him more information on binding rituals from the Spiral Labyrinth. He heard the front door open and footsteps approaching. He looked up to find Alec with Chairman Meow in his arms, standing in the doorway of the study. He looked as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable.

“The Chairman likes you,” Magnus commented.

“He likes anyone who scratches behind his ears,” Alec said.

Magnus flexed his muscles, leaned back and yawned. He was exhausted from hours on end searching for anything that could help with finding out what had happened to Jace.

“How was the Seelie Queen?” he asked Alec.

“Same as usual.” Alec said.

“Raging bitch, then?”

“Pretty much. She wants us to get her rings. Seelie rings which are in the Institute.” Alec said, “Clary’s going to steal them for her.”

“I worry about Clary,” said Magnus. “I worry she's getting in over her little red head.”

Clary was in love, Magnus understood that. It was why she would move heaven and earth to get Jace back, and that made it dangerous.

“She wants to find Jace.” Alec said, while dropping the Chairman down on the desk. “Can you blame her?”

Magnus looked up at Alec and hooked a finger in his jeans to pull him closer. “Are you saying you'd do the same thing if it were me?” he asked, smiling a little.

But Alec turned away and stared at the desk, looking at the scribbles and the runes, ignoring his question. “You looking at these again?”

Magnus’s heart fell as he let him go and looked down on the paper. “There's got to be a key to unlocking them. Some language I haven't looked at yet. Something ancient. This is old black magic, very dark, not like anything I've ever seen before.”

His eye fell on a scribble in the corner of one of the papers. He tilted his head a little, wanting to look at it at another angle.

“Can you hand me that snuffbox over there? The silver one, on the edge of the table.” He asked Alec, gesturing to the other end of the desk.

“What is this?” Alec asked as he took the box.

"It's a snuffbox," said Magnus, shifting one of the papers. "I told you."

"Snuff? As in snuffing people out?"

Magnus looked up at him, and couldn’t help but laugh. "As in tobacco. It was very popular around the seventeenth, eighteenth century. Now I use the box to keep odds and ends in."

Alec handed him the box and he took it, intending to open it, but then Alec started talking.

"Do you ever wonder," Alec said, but he broke off his sentence. Magnus looked up at him, arching his eyebrows.

 "Does it bother you that Camille's out there somewhere? That she got away?" Alec asked

"She's always been out there somewhere," said Magnus. "I know the Clave isn't terribly pleased, but I'm used to imagining her living her life, not contacting me. If it ever bothered me, it hasn't in a long time."

"But you did love her. Once."

Magnus ran his fingers over the diamond insets in the snuffbox. "I thought I did."

"Does she still love you?"

"I don't think so," Magnus said, thinking back at how Camille had used him. "She wasn't very pleasant the last time I saw her. Of course that could be because I've got an eighteen-year-old boyfriend with a stamina rune and she doesn't." He smiled.

Alec sputtered. "As the person being objectified, I... object to that description of me."

"She always was the jealous type." Magnus grinned, but he felt uncomfortable, talking to Alec about Camille. He wished Alec would stop bringing up the past. Because Camille belonged to his past. For someone who lived forever, looking back was difficult, especially after centuries of being alive. He didn’t want to think about it and he didn’t want to talk about it. The good or the bad, he didn’t see why it mattered, or how it could help them with anything they dealt with now. Most of the time, all the past did for him was hurt him. He didn’t want to be confronted with it. It was bygone, another country. And any regrets he might have, well, he couldn’t undo them.

He opened the box to take out some tacks. He needed to mark the paper, wanting to see which of the runes had any comparison with others he had found in several of the books he’d been sifting through. He’d already figured out a little, the language spoke of bondage, possession. But he was still grasping at straws  here.

He felt Alec stiffen beside him and looked up, amazed to see the Shadowhunter looking pretty upset. “Are you okay?”

Alec didn’t reply, but he took Magnus by his hands and pulled him up. Magnus stared at him, wondering what was wrong. He wanted to repeat his question, but Alec pressed his mouth on his before he could say anything. He gasped and slid his arms around his boyfriend, appreciating the warmth and steadiness Alec always brought with him. He slid his hands under Alec’s shirt, touching his bare back. Alec leaned in, parted Magnus’s lips and slid his tongue in Magnus’s mouth. Magnus closed his eyes, as he was pressed against the desk behind him. His hands digging into Alec’s back, he reveled in Alec’s presence. Alec broke off the kiss and buried his head in Magnus’s neck.

"Come on," he said against Magnus's ear. "It's late. Let's go to bed."

He wanted to, he really did. But he needed to check those runes too, he was sure he was on to something.

"Why don't you go on ahead?" he said. "I'll join you. Five minutes."

"Sure." Alec said, sounding unconvinced. "I'll see you there."

Alec walked away, and Magnus turned and stared at him go. Something was wrong. He knew that much, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. The way Alec had looked at him when he had entered the room told him so. And then those questions about Camille. Magnus didn’t want to talk about Camille. He didn’t like to be reminded of her. She had broken his heart so casually, as if it didn’t matter. Which was true for her.

Magnus sighed and turned back to the papers on his desk. A few more minutes looking at them, and then he’ll join Alec, he told himself.

* * *

 

Magnus was staring at the door through which Alec had disappeared. He was tired, he had worked through the night into the morning and had just remembered Alec needed to meet his sister in an hour and had awoken him. And Alec had inexplicably turned on him, snapping at him about Will Herondale and Woolsey Scott. Magnus had gotten mad at him.

“Where is all this coming from, Alexander?” He’d asked him, “I don't lie to you. If there's anything about me you want to know, you can ask.”

“Bull,” Alec had said bluntly. “You're kind and funny and all those great things, but what you're not is forthcoming, _sweet pea_. You can talk all day about other people's problems, but you won't talk about yourself or your history, and when I do ask, you wriggle like a worm on a hook.”

“Maybe because you can't ask me about my past without picking a fight about how I'm going to live forever and you're not,” Magnus had snapped at him. “Maybe because immortality is rapidly becoming the third person in our relationship, Alec.”

“Our relationship isn't supposed to have a third person.”

“Exactly.”

Alec had walked out on him then, slamming the door in the process. Magnus shook his head, wondering what just happened. Was Alec mad at him for working through the night instead of spending time with him? That couldn’t be it, Alec knew he was only trying to help him. Was he jealous of Magnus’s exes? Magnus couldn’t understand it, couldn’t grasp at what was going on with Alec. He wrote it off as stress, because of Jace, but a nagging feeling told him it was more than that.

Being immortal is hard when you’re in a relationship with a mortal. They age and die while you’re left behind. And it’s hard for them, too. Magnus sighed deeply, wondering if it was too much for Alec to take on, wondering if this was something he could burden Alec with. Maybe it was better for him to have a relationship with someone who was mortal. Someone who was more like him. Someone his own age. Someone who didn’t have the blood of a demon in his veins. Someone who wasn’t fallen.

Magnus felt gloomy as he went back to the bedroom, too tired to do anything else than sleep. As his head hit the pillow, a sad feeling bloomed up in the pit of his stomach. And he wished Alec was here.


	52. Saint Magnus's Home for Wayward Shadowhunters

_**Magnus** _

It was way past midnight and Magnus had no idea where Alec was. He’d said not to wait up for him, that morning. That he was going to search for Jace. But Magnus waited up anyway. Feeling scared and insecure, afraid that Alec was slipping away from him.

His phone buzzed. A message from Jocelyn told him Luke had been badly wounded by Sebastian. Jace had been there too, looking for Clary. He seemed to be in league with Sebastian and not up to much good. Jocelyn needed a safe place to stay, where he wouldn't be able to find them.

Magnus texted her back to say that she was welcome to stay and he would ward the house, so Jace and Sebastian wouldn’t be able to enter.

About fifteen minutes later Jocelyn appeared with a white faced Clary. “Saint Magnus’s home for Wayward Shadowhunters,” Magnus said gravely, upon opening the door. “Welcome.”

Magnus watched them as they walked in, their shoulders hunched, both of them exhausted from being up half the night. Jocelyn explained what had happened. Jace and Sebastian had shown up in their house. They’d come for Clary, Jace wanted to take her with them. And Jocelyn stood face to face with her long lost son. He accused her for abandoning him. At that point Luke had come into the room with a gun, demanding the boys to leave. Sebastian had turned on Luke, wounding him badly. Sebastian and Jace seemed to be connected somehow, a union tighter than any earthly bond. Even tighter than the bond of parabatai. If you cut one, the other bleeds. If you kill one, the other dies.

Magnus had guessed something of the kind, based on his studies so far. He had contacted Brother Zachariah and Tessa about it and they had confirmed his thoughts based on their own studies. He texted Zachariah now, giving him the information Jocelyn gave him. He texted Alec next, saying there was news from Jace, and he should come home.

He was in the kitchen, calling Jordan, the cute werewolf boy, to ask him a favor for Luke, when he heard the key in the front door and Alec entering the apartment. “Where’s Magnus?” he heard him ask Clary.

Magnus flew back into the living room, glad to see his boyfriend. “Alec!” He blew him a kiss, and instantly noticed the bruise on Alec’s face. What had he been doing all night?

“You got my text?” he asked, worried.

“Yeah,” Alec replied, not looking at him. “I was only a few blocks away.”

He turned to Clary and asked her about Jace. Magnus regarded him closely and registered the hurt in his face when he heard about Jace being connected with Sebastian now. Seemingly not caring about him, or Isabelle. Not wanting him either. Magnus felt his heart ache at seeing Alec so forlorn. Knowing he couldn’t do anything about it.

When his phone rang he found it was Brother Zachariah telling him he was coming over to discuss the new turn of events. He arrived half an hour later, and they talked about the issue. Zachariah said no weapon on this earth could sever the bond between Jace and Sebastian. That’s when Jocelyn suggested to go to the Iron Sisters. They were female Shadowhunters, living very secluded. Their power was in making weapons, steles and seraph blades. Magnus decided to call Isabelle then, asking her to come over.

Isabelle would be the only one of them able to enter the Adament Citadel, where the Sisters lived. Only female Shadowhunters were allowed to go there. But Magnus had another reason to want Isabelle there. Alec was hurting and Magnus didn’t know how to comfort him. Isabelle would know, Magnus was sure of it. Her presence alone would probably already be enough.

Zachariah left and Magnus sent both Jocelyn and Clary to bed. He returned to the living room and went to sit on the couch next to Alec. He touched his cheek with his thumb, where the blue bruise stood out against Alec's pale skin, and Alec jerked back.

“What happened?” Magnus asked.

“Nothing,” Alec answered, sullen.

“I know you’re hurting,” Magnus said softly. “I wish I could do something to make it better.”

Alec looked at him as if he wanted to say something, but he sighed deeply and remained silent.

“Do you want something to drink?” Magnus asked.

“Sure,” was all Alec said.

Magnus walked to the kitchen and got them two glasses of wine. He felt a sudden snap, someone was leaving his apartment via Portal. He knew instantly it was Clary. She was the only one able to create a Portal and she probably made one in one of his spare bedrooms. He considered going in there and holding her back, but he knew it was pointless. Clary was as stubborn as her mother. If she wanted to leave, Magnus wasn’t going to stop her. He could guess where she went. To see Jace. However dangerous that was, she was willing to do whatever it took to get him back.

Back in the living room he conjured up a fireplace, with a blue-green fire snapping in it. In the mean time, Alec had changed into sweatpants and a simple, white t-shirt. He was sitting on the couch, looking very young and beautiful, his feet tucked up under him.

Magnus sat down next to him and wrapped his arm around him. Alec rested his head on his shoulder and they sat in silence for a while, sipping their wine.

The door bell rang, and a few moments later Isabelle came in. Alec jumped up off the couch and went to her, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close. Magnus could tell by the way her shoulders moved that she was crying.

Alec was comforting his sister, “Iz, it’s going to be okay. Izzy.”

Isabelle pushed him away, impatiently, furiously wiping her eyes. “How can you say that? How can anything possibly be okay after this?”

"Izzy," Alec said, tugging at her hair affectionately. "Don't go to pieces. We need you."

He whispered something to her then, Magnus couldn’t understand it, but he watched them closely. He was glad Isabelle was here. Alec had turned from upset into big brother mode in a snap. And that was who Alec was, loving, caring for others. It made him able to be himself.

After explaining to Isabelle what they wanted from her, Magnus shooed her into the third bedroom. He told her about Alec being unhappy, he wanted to tell her how worried he was about him. “You can give him understanding I can’t. And he loves you.”

“Of course he loves me, I’m his sister,” Isabelle replied.

“Blood isn’t love,” Magnus said as he turned to leave her. “Just ask Clary.”

Isabelle’s eyes darkened at that, but then she suddenly moved towards him and put a hand on his wrist. Magnus turned around and looked at her, surprised.

“We’ll be okay, Magnus,” she said, her dark eyes big as she looked at him. “We’re Lightwoods. We stick together, we’re strong, and we can take whatever the world throws at us.”

Magnus nodded, “Thank you.”

He walked back to the living room, where Alec was hanging on the couch. He regarded him thoughtfully for a while, thinking about Isabelle’s words. They stuck together, she had said. Alec and Isabelle and Jace. They were a team. And now with a member down. Magnus wondered if Isabelle was right, and Alec could stay strong and take on the world without Jace at his side. Magnus couldn’t help but feel a little pain at the idea. Alec relying on Jace, on Isabelle. Whereas he, Magnus, only relied on Alec.

Alec noticed him now and looked up. “What is it?”

Magnus shook his head. “Nothing.”

He walked towards the couch and sat down, tugging Alec against him. Alec went to lay down, his head on Magnus’s lap while Magnus trailed his hands through his hair. “You should try to get some sleep,” he whispered.

“What about you,” Alec said, staring up at him. “You look tired.”

Magnus nodded, while starting to softly brush his hand through Alec’s hair and over his forehead, swiping over his eyes. Repeating the motion over and over again like he did on that night of their second meet. Alec had been wounded and needed sleep. The motion of his hand over Alec’s forehead and eyes had relaxed Alec then. And it did the same for him now, his eyes fluttering shut.

Magnus continued the movement until Alec’s breathing steadied and he was asleep. Magnus trailed his hands softly over Alec’s face, sending a blue spark of magic at the bruise on his cheek, healing him. He sighed deeply as he stared at his wrist where the bracelet dangled. The one with the snakes Alec had bought for him in Rotterdam. Those were easier times, Magnus thought, yearning for it as he cut his gaze away from the bracelet and into the fire, worrying. Alec had always been open to him and told him if there was anything bothering him. But lately he became more and more remote. He couldn’t help but wonder if Alec was slipping away from him. Like water spilling through his fingers, and he was unable to grasp him.


	53. Going to Mysterious Places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: some of the dialogue is copied from Cassie's books, as I've done before. But I wanted to let you guys know again that this is her work, not mine. Also, there's explicit sexual content in this chapter. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. And I'm so humbled with all the kudos and comments so far, that means the world to me, truly! I <3 you all!

_**Alec** _

Alec had been surprised when he got a message from Camille, asking him to come. She was going to make good on her promise of helping him. So he went. During their first meeting she’d told him there was no way to make him immortal. The only possibility was to take Magnus’s immortality away. And she was willing to help him with that. Of course it had turned out she wanted something in return. She’d been obnoxious and they'd actually fought, leaving Alec with a bruise on his cheek he couldn’t explain to Magnus.

Going to see Camille again was a stupid thing to do, Alec knew. Yet somehow he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She was someone who knew Magnus. Who could possibly answer questions about him. And Alec wanted answers badly.

He was surprised about that. He thought he’d be too upset about Jace to focus much on anything else. Magnus certainly thought so. And it was true, he was upset about that. But he thought back to that morning a week ago, when he’d been with Magnus and felt at peace, even with Jace missing. How he felt he wanted to be with Magnus more than anything in the world.

And he still wanted that. It hadn’t changed. But Magnus was so closed off. Alec felt pushed away by him.  Why did Magnus feel the need to hide his past from him? Alec realized he didn’t know anything about him. Not who his father was, not where he was born, not when he was born.

Camille would know. Alec had considered her offer to help him take away Magnus’s immortality. But he’d discarded it, feeling horrified for even considering it. And he couldn’t do his end of the bargain either, which was to kill off Raphael Santiago. There was no way. He’d be breaking covenant law for no good reason at all.

Alec didn’t mind breaking the law if it meant saving people he loved. Like Jace now, for instance. So he hadn’t cared about summoning a demon in Magnus’s apartment, the day after they found out Jace was bound to Sebastian. They had asked the demon if he could find a way to break the bond, but the only option the demon gave them involved setting lose a prince of hell upon the earth. An impossibility. And time wasted. The demon made an allusion about Magnus’s father in the process and Alec’s curiosity was piqued. As usual, Magnus waved it away, unwilling to talk about it.

So Alec turned to Camille instead. He wouldn’t and couldn’t break the law for something as selfish and ethically wrong as ending Magnus’s immortality, and therefore he had to let Camille know the deal was off. Of course there was no need to do that in person, but he wanted to talk to her. To see if she knew anything about Magnus. Anything that would close the immense gap Alec felt was between them. A gap that was stretching out over centuries, and Alec was unable to bridge it. Even more so because Magnus tore down every attempt he made to building bridges.

Camille was angry at him for not wanting to keep their deal. She tried to persuade him, but Alec had already made up his mind. He started questioning her about Magnus and she told him he was born in Indonesia, but she wouldn’t tell him about Magnus’s father, not understanding why it would matter.

"I get the feeling," Alec said, "that he's a pretty powerful, high-up demon. But Magnus won't talk about him."

Camille regarded him through lidded eyes as she said, “Well, of course he won't. One must preserve some mystery in one's relationship, Alec Lightwood. A book that one has not read yet is always more exciting than a book one has memorized."

“You mean I tell him too much?” Alec asked.

Camille willingly answered this question and then some more, giving him actual advice for how to navigate the waters of a relationship. She didn’t even ask anything in return, only told him to call on her again if he wanted. And to reconsider his denial of her offer.

On his way back to Brooklyn he thought about her words, how she said he should keep a little mystery in his relationship. He was going to take that advice to heart.

Once inside the house, he quickly went to the bedroom, stripped down to his boxers and slid next to Magnus in the bed. He wanted to be quiet, glad that Magnus was finally sleeping. But Chairman Meow had decided to take residence on his side of the bed and the cat yelped as Alec hit him with his elbow, accidentally but hard.

Magnus sat up, startled at the noise and movement. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Alec said, silently cursing all cats. "I couldn't sleep."

"So you went out?" Magnus rolled onto his side and touched Alec's bare shoulder. "Your skin's cold, and you smell like nighttime."

"I was walking around," Alec said.

"Around where?"

"Places," Alec said airily. "You know. Mysterious places."

"Mysterious places?" Magnus arched up his eyebrows in question and Alec nodded.

Magnus laid back against the pillows. "I see you went to Crazytown," he muttered, closing his eyes. "Did you bring me anything back?”

Alec leaned over and kissed Magnus on the mouth. "Just that," he said softly, drawing back, but Magnus, who had started to smile, already took a hold of his arms.

"Well, if you're going to wake me up," he said, "you might as well make it worth my time," and he pulled Alec down on top of him.

Alec reached up a hand to touch Magnus’s face, and Magnus leaned into his hand. “Kiss me,” he whispered and Alec bent down his head, pressing his lips against Magnus’s.

Magnus’s hands were on his back, caressing him. He broke away from the kiss, “I’m sorry for bailing on you the other night,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “I’ll make it up to you now.”

“It’s okay,” Alec whispered back, and he kissed him again, relishing in the feel of Magnus’s hands on him, their bodies pressed against each other.

“I love you,” he said against Magnus’s lips and started to trail down kisses over his jaw and his throat. And then further down over his collarbone and his smooth, flat chest. His broad shoulders, his neck and then back to his face, peppering him with kisses.

Magnus purred softly, his fingers pulling at Alec’s shorts, wanting them gone. Alec moved away from him then and undressed himself quickly. He leaned over Magnus and looked down into the green-gold cat eyes of his boyfriend.

“What do you want? Tell me,” he asked him softly, knowing that until this day Magnus had always done what Alec wanted, whatever that was. It was high time for that to change.

Magnus smiled at him. “I want you,” he said and he pulled Alec against him, kissing him savagely as he pressed his erection against Alec’s, which made Alec moan.

Magnus held him tightly as they rolled around, Alec under him now. Magnus was slowly pressing his lips against Alec’s jaw, flicking out his tongue, sucking at the skin in his neck.

Alec wanted him closer, to feel him inside of him. He wanted him to open up and talk to him. He wanted to kiss him senseless. Knowing he couldn’t have it all frustrated him, and he took that frustration out on Magnus’s back, digging in hard.

Magnus yelped at the sudden pressure and jerked his face up, staring at Alec. “Ouch,” he said, though he was smiling. “Are you going De Sade on me now?”

“No,” Alec said, his mind searching for what Magnus could possibly mean by that. “Sorry, I got carried away.”

 Magnus kissed him softly, “No worries, I can take it.”

Alec brought his hands further down on Magnus’s thighs and pulled him closer. “I want you inside of me,” he whispered.

 “Oh, I thought we were going to do what I wanted?” Magnus said.

“Yeah, yes,” Alec stammered, “But don’t you want it?”

Magnus smiled and put both his hands around Alec’s face. “I do,” he said. Alec felt him lift one of his fingers and knew Magnus had summoned a bottle of oil. He looked sideways and saw it standing on the bed. His hand reached for it and he almost spilled the content on the bed. Magnus, watching his movement, snickered.

“Careful, it’s oil. I’d have to change the bedsheets,” he said.

“Who cares,” Alec answered, his voice low. The idea of Magnus inside of him made his heart beat faster and he remembered how it was in Rotterdam. How enthralling and weirdly good it had felt. He didn’t want to spend any time on thinking about oil on the bedsheets.

He didn’t want to spend time on thinking about anything, really. Things like how hard life was with Jace gone. Things like his father still ignoring him because he was gay. Or what would happen to the Lightwood name now that Alec wasn’t going to produce any heirs. Really too bad, too. Because he couldn’t pass on his marvelous genes. Pfff. He was so sick of feeling guilty about that. As if reproducing an heir was his highest calling and he’d failed on it. Alec loved being a Shadowhunter, but the conservatism he had to deal with was tiresome. He wanted it to disappear, he wanted the whole world to disappear and live in a sort of cocoon with Magnus. Only Magnus.

Alec gasped as his boyfriend's hands softly caressed his abdomen, slowly traveling down over his groin and inner thighs. The touch soft as feathers. He closed his eyes and focused on Magnus’s touch, letting everything else go.

Magnus’s fingers scratched over his legs and pressed them apart. His fingers touching, caressing and finally entering him.  Alec closed his eyes and gave himself over to the feeling and the expectation of what was to come. He felt Magnus move between his legs and then his hardness pressed against his entrance.

“Are you okay?” Magnus whispered, “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“Who cares,” Alec repeated, letting out a ragged breath.

Magnus froze, hovering over him. “I care,” he said.

Alec smiled up at him and pushed a hand against Magnus’s hip. “I’m okay, I want this,” he whispered. “Now, go.”

Magnus nodded and started moving slowly. The feeling of Magnus inside of him was hard to describe. Throbbing, enthralling, enchanting him and filling him with a sort of pain-pleasure that made his entire body prickle. He breathed heavily as Magnus moved until he was completely sheathed inside of him and started to pull back slowly. The next moment Alec felt his slim fingers wrapped around him. “I’m not going to forget about you now,” he whispered.

Alec wanting them to be closer, to be one. And for now he could forget about everything that was wrong with the world, and everything that was wrong with them. He could get lost in this feeling of warmth and satisfaction that sex with Magnus brought him. He clenched his jaws and opened them again, sucking in a breath.

“I love you,” Magnus breathed heavily while saying the words. “You’re so beautiful.” He moved over him and kissed him intently.

Alec was unable to reply, as the feeling of Magnus in him and around him made him fall apart. Stars were exploding in his vision, his breathing sped up as his body took over and he cried out as an intense orgasm overtook him. All the world fell away, with only Magnus remaining. Alec was fine with that. He didn’t want the world. He wanted Magnus. Magnus was all he wanted and all he would ever want.

Magnus joined him seconds later, both of them flying. Like soaring eagles. With their mighty wings spread out as they shot through the sky. Nothing holding them back, nothing in their way. It was pure freedom.

He wrapped his arms tightly around Magnus and stared up at him. Magnus was looking down at him with a sort of awe. Alec recognized the look. It was that look that had made him fall for the warlock. Knowing he could be himself with him, knowing he wanted to be the Alec he was in Magnus’s eyes when he was looking at him like that.

Alec moved his hands upwards over Magnus’s back and pulled him down on him, longing for the skin on skin contact.

In reply he buried his face in Alec’s neck, still panting heavily. “Alexander,” he whispered.

Alec closed his eyes and smiled.


	54. What If I Lost You?

_**Alec** _

The world had been spinning out of control lately. First Jace had gone over to the dark side. Then they’d summoned a demon to get him out of there. That turned out to be a disaster. Clary had joined Jace and Sebastian, acting as a double spy, which was dangerous as hell. And then Simon had come up with the idea to summon an Angel. Before the Mortal War Clary had given him the Mark of Cain on his head. Whoever would lay a hand on him would pay for it sevenfold. And Simon gambled on that Mark, thinking it would save him from the Angel’s wrath.

Isabelle had been furious, saying it was too dangerous and Simon could easily be killed. Alec wondered what was going on between Simon and his sister. He couldn’t think of any other time that Isabelle had cared so much, when it wasn’t him or Jace. He thought she might be falling for the vampire. How happy his parents would be, Alec thought bitterly. First losing their son to a warlock and then their daughter to a vampire. Not to mention their adoptive son to the dark and their youngest to death.

Alec shook his head as he prepared for the coming battle. He couldn’t get carried away now. Simon had gotten a sword from the Angel. A sword fueled with Heavenly Fire, a fire that was capable of severing the bond between Jace and Sebastian. All that was needed now was a way to stab that demon child, Sebastian, to death with it.

Clary had found out what Jace and Sebastian’s evil plan was and where they were going to execute it. They’d created a new mortal cup, were going to fill it with demon blood and create a new, dark race of Shadowhunters. Shadowhunters who would do Sebastian’s bidding and turn the world into ashes. To stop them, Alec, Magnus, Simon, Isabelle and a dozen Shadowhunters from the New York Institute were going to Ireland, where they were gathered to perform the ceremony.

Magnus had made a portal and they were on their way to the Seventh Sacred Site. Upon arrival on the plain, Alec saw dozens of Shadowhunters standing there, lined up before a tall figure clad in red. His white hair blazing in the wind. Sebastian.

Behind him Alec saw Jace and Clary. He sucked in a breath at seeing his parabatai again. He knew Jace was turned, possessed, but there was no sign of that. He just stood there, seemingly relaxed, his arms around Clary, as if embracing her tenderly.

Alec scanned the crowd of Shadowhunters and noticed they were lining up to drink from the Mortal Cup. He saw one of them drink and collapse, only to rise again with a renewed grace. An army of dark Shadowhunters, Clary had told Simon. Sebastian was creating an army of dark Shadowhunters.

Alec jumped on a flat stone megalith, and aimed his bow at the next Shadowhunter reaching for the cup Sebastian was holding out to him. He let go and the arrow flew right into the Shadowhunter’s throat. Alec grinned in satisfaction and reached back for another arrow.

Behind him his fellow warriors moved forward, Magnus was protecting Simon who carried the sword with Heavenly Fire. Alec stayed standing on the dolmen, having their back, shooting his arrows one after the other steadily into the crowd, not wavering, but standing tall and strong as a Lightwood should.

As the group moved through the crowd, the fight was bursting all around them. The turned Shadowhunters were drawing blades and attacked. Alec had a good overview on top of the dolmen and shot his arrows with a blinding accuracy.

His head jerked up when he heard Isabelle scream. He saw Magnus, standing next to her, but the next moment Magnus collapsed and sank to his knees. A dark Shadowhunter bent over him, intending to deliver the death stroke. Alec aimed and let an arrow fly, hastily and not precise enough. It hit her in the shoulder instead of the throat and Alec swore under his breath.

He stood frozen upon the large stone, staring in the direction where Magnus had fallen down. He saw him lying on the ground, Isabelle on her knees beside him, her hands on his chest.  _By the Angel, he’s dying._

A cold spread over Alec as the idea of Magnus dying dawned on him. Never in his mind was there a world conceivable where he was alive while Magnus was not. It simply wasn’t a possibility. He couldn’t imagine how he could live without Magnus. To lose him, he didn’t think he’d ever be okay again. Losing Magnus meant losing his own heart.

Automatically Alec reached back to grab another arrow, fit it to the bow and let it fly. His movements were mechanical, he needed to continue to fight. No matter what happened or who was fallen or dying. He was first of all a Shadowhunter, he needed to fight.

The last time he reached up for an arrow he found his quiver empty. It was then that he looked into the crowd, looking for Magnus and his sister. A light started to flare up in the distance as Alec scrambled down from the stone tomb and launched himself into the crowd.

* * *

 

#### Magnus

It hurt. Magnus couldn’t remember the last time he had been in this kind of pain. He saw black spots swimming before his eyes as the endarkened Shadowhunter pointed her blade over his heart. _Alec_. He thought of him now. He knew once that blade would find its aim, he’d be gone. Away from this earth, finally, after four hundred years. And yet it was too soon. He had Alec now, and he didn’t want to lose him. No matter what was going on, no matter what was wrong between them. That could be solved, whatever it was. Magnus wanted to live now, more than ever. To solve it and be happy with Alec. He wasn’t ready to die.

But if there was no escaping it, the last thing he could do was think about Alec as he died. He heard the arrow sizzle through the air before he saw it hitting the endarkened woman in her shoulder. She jerked away and Magnus closed his eyes as the world slowly receded. _Good,_   he thought, _Alec had shot her._ Now he could die in peace.

The blackness was pressing in on him, and he conjured up Alec’s face in his mind’s eye. His blue eyes were sparkling as he laughed. “You’re adorable,” he said as he pulled Magnus in his arms in the hotel room in Paris. The edges of the vision darkened and Alec slowly faded away into oblivion and then there was nothing.

"Alec." Magnus heard the voice of a girl in the distance saying his lover’s name. "Alec, he's breathing."

And then there was Alec’s voice, sounding far away but very real, “Dagger.”

Magnus knew he was there, close, next to him and he wanted to reach out for him, but he couldn’t. He felt the life seeping out of him as a dagger sliced through his clothes. Suddenly there was a pressure against his ribs, where the blade had cut him. The sharp pain brought him back to life and he could finally open his eyes. The first thing he saw were Alec’s blue eyes staring down at him.

"Ouch," he said weakly. "Quit leaning on me."

"Raziel," Alec whispered. "You're all right."

Magnus felt Alec’s hand reaching under him, pulling him towards him. His thumb brushing his cheek.  "I thought..." Alec said, glancing away for a second and then back into Magnus’s eyes.

"I saw you fall," Alec said and then he bent down and kissed Magnus’s lips tenderly. "I thought you were dead."

Magnus smiled up at him, infinitely happy that Alec was there and he knew he’d live to see another day. Another day to spend with Alexander Lightwood.

"What, from that scratch?" he said and he stared down at Alec’s jacket, which Alec had pressed against his side. The black jacket was wet with his blood.

“Okay,” he amended, “a deep scratch. Like, from a really, really big cat.”

"Are you delirious?" Alec said.

"No." Magnus said, serious now. "Amatis was aiming for my heart, but she didn't get anything vital. The problem is that the blood loss is sapping my energy and my ability to heal myself."

He tried breathing deep and coughed, knowing he needed strength he didn’t have.

“Here, give me your hand,” he said to Alec and Alec laced his fingers through Magnus’s.

“Do you remember,” Magnus whispered, breathing with difficulty, “The night of the battle on Valentine's ship, when I needed some of your strength?”

"Do you need it again now?” Alec said. “Because you can have it.”

“I always need your strength, Alec,” Magnus said, wishing Alec knew how true those words were as he closed his eyes. He couldn’t whisper the spell but chanted it in his head and felt the energy of Alec course through him. Healing him.

_Alec, everything is going to be okay now._


	55. I Say Your Name

 

_When does a scar_   
_Become a tattoo_   
_When does the sky_   
_Fade back to blue_   
_When does this broken_   
_Heart that I'm holding_   
_Beat on its own_

_When do I stop_   
_Feeling this burn_   
_When do I live_   
_When will I learn_   
_When will I realize_   
_That look in your eyes_   
_Won't come back_

_I'm out here_   
_Standing in the pouring rain_   
_Tick tock_   
_Hours all feel the same_   
_I say your name_   
_I say your name_   
_Well I'm right here_   
_Running just as fast as I can_   
_And I swear_   
_I never wanna do this again_   
_I say your name_   
_I say your name_

_I try to be strong_   
_But I keep dreaming of you_   
_Oh I really wish_   
_This was easy to do_   
_But I've never felt this_   
_Tied up and helpless_   
_And all that I know_   
_Is you're gone_   
_How do I let go_

_I'm out here_   
_Standing in the pouring rain_   
_Tick tock_   
_Hours all feel the same_   
_I say your name_   
_I say your name_   
_Well I'm right here_   
_Running just as fast as I can_   
_And I swear_   
_I never wanna do this again_   
_I say your name_   
_I say your name_

_Well I know_   
_That someday_   
_This pain_   
_It will fade_   
_But right now_   
_I can't escape_   
_How I feel_   
_I wanna scream_

  * Plumb, Say Your Name



* * *

 

_**Magnus** _

Magnus was lying in bed, staring at the letter he’d received last night. Reading the message over and over again. He couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be true. There was no reality in which it could possibly be true. And yet, here it was.

_Magnus, my darling._

_You know I love you, right? And I want what’s best for you. Your Shadowhunter boyfriend is not it. Did you know he went to me behind your back? Lilith’s minions had taken me from the Sanctuary and bound me up in some building at the Upper East Side. He met me there and I made a deal with him. He would free me and I would help him make you mortal. We met a few times after that. I told him to kill Raphael Santiago for me, he wouldn’t do it. Shadowhunters and their laws, huh? He wanted you mortal though. The poor boy, he wanted to grow old with you and die with you. We both know that will never happen._

_So, now that you know he tried to shorten your life you can finally leave him behind. Mortals, they will only ever break your heart. Either by dying, by betraying you or leaving you. They’re all the same, Magnus. Like hours in the day. Leave the boy, and leave those obnoxious Shadowhunters. Pretty boys have always been your undoing. Now choose me._

_Considering you might not believe me, come to the subway tunnels under the City Hall Station tomorrow morning and you’ll find him there, looking for me._

_Yours forever,_

_Camille_

It was not true. Magnus shook his head. Camille was a liar and manipulator, she was lying to him now, too.

But if she were that good a manipulator, she could’ve manipulated Alec as well. And knowing Alec, he was innocent, young and new to the world. He wouldn’t immediately cut through her cunning ways, with her century’s worth of practice. He could have been snared into her webs easily.

Magnus got out of bed, staring at the other side of the bed, which was cold and empty. Alec was gone. Magnus hoped he was off to the Institute, to check on Jace, who was still in the infirmary after being stabbed by the Angel’s sword. But he wasn’t sure.

If everything had been fine between them he wouldn’t have considered Camille’s message for a second. But everything wasn’t fine. Despite Alec’s despair when he thought Magnus was dying, there still was a remoteness in Alec every time they were alone together. A remoteness Magnus couldn’t grasp. He remembered the way Alec used to look at him, his face lighting up, his mouth turning into a smile, because he was happy to see him. But that look, Magnus hadn’t seen it in Alec’s eyes for what seemed like a long time now.

He felt tied up and helpless, not knowing what was wrong with Alec, not knowing how to fix it. And he wanted to fix it, because he loved him so.

But now this had happened.

Magnus refused to believe it but he needed to know for sure, so he put on a T-shirt and a black suit jacket and went towards the subway tunnels. All the while there his lungs hurt and his heart ached and he was so incredibly frightened. So frightened that Alexander Lightwood was going to break his heart.

The tunnels were dark and gloomy and completely abandoned. Magnus walked slowly, still feeling a bit stiff from his injuries. In the distance he saw a flicker of light and his heart fell. He recognized that light. It was witchlight. Which could only mean a Shadowhunter was there.

Magnus strode silently towards the light, speeding up his pace a little to catch up. A little voice inside him said it was still possible it was someone else. But what were chances of bumping into a random Shadowhunter in the subway tunnels. Close to zero.

He saw him now, tall, broad shoulders, black hair. There was no mistaking it anymore. It was Alec. Magnus felt his chest rise and fall, as an incredible pain flared up in his heart. _Alec, no._ He thought back to the day after Alec’s birthday. That day Alec had walked out on him, and Magnus had felt his heart breaking. He remembered sinking to the floor and crying out in frustration.

This wasn’t anything like that. An infinite sadness came over Magnus. _Mortals, they will only ever break your heart._ He couldn’t quite grasp it yet, but he knew that it was over. Camille had been telling the truth and Alec had tried to shorten his life, had practically tried to kill him.

Taking away his immortality would probably mean he’d die. Magnus had studied the Book of the White, and countless other volumes on the matter. There was a great danger to taking away his immortality. No mortal would ever live for four hundred years and as Magnus would turn mortal, these years could fall down on him like a bomb. Alec didn’t know that, obviously. But that didn’t matter.

Alec didn’t trust him. Alec didn’t believe him when he told him he was everything for him. What kind of relationship could they have if there was no trust?

It was over.

_I’m never going to do this again._

“Alec,” Magnus said, knowing he was close enough to let Alec know he was there. He wished for another second. Another second where they could still be together. But it was futile. He couldn’t escape the pain. And he wanted to scream, knowing there was no escape.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” he said Alec’s full name, wishing it was easy to say his name. To say his name like that. He watched as Alec turned around and stared at him.

“Magnus?”

He took a few more steps, closing the distance between them. Alec looked at him incredulously.

“Magnus,” he said again. “I thought you were asleep.”

“Evidently,” Magnus said.

He saw Alec swallowing, looking almost scared. “Did you follow me?”

“You could say that. It helped that I knew where you were going.” Magnus reached with some difficulty for the letter in his pocket, showing it to Alec.

“You know, when she told me you'd been here, told me about the bargain she'd struck with you, I didn't believe her. I didn't want to believe her. But here you are.” He heard the sadness in his voice as he spoke the words.

“Camille told you-”

“Just stop,” Magnus said, holding up his hand. “Of course she told me. I warned you she was a master at manipulation and politics, but you didn't listen to me. Who do you think she'd rather have on her side, me or you? You're eighteen years old, Alexander. You're not exactly a powerful ally.”

“I already told her,” Alec said. “I wouldn't kill Raphael. I came here and told her the bargain was off, I wouldn't do it.”

“You had to come all the way here, to this abandoned subway station, to deliver that message?” Magnus raised his eyebrows. “You don't think you could have delivered essentially the same message by, perhaps, staying away?”

“It was-”

“And even if you did come here, unnecessarily, and tell her the deal was off,” Magnus interrupted him, “why are you here now? Social call? Just visiting? Explain it to me, Alexander, if there's something I'm missing.”

Alec swallowed again, there was hurt in his blue eyes as he looked up at Magnus, and uncertainty. He was trying, Magnus thought, trying really hard to find answers that might placate him. It broke Magnus’s heart, but it didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered anymore.

“Magnus,” Alec began, taking a step towards him and Magnus backed away. Not wanting his touch, not wanting to be close to him. He might waver, he might give in if he felt Alec against him, his warmth and the comfort he always brought with him.

“I'm so sorry,” Alec said, it sounded as if his voice was breaking. “I never meant-”

“I was thinking about it, you know,” Magnus said, wanting Alec to know it. “That's part of why I wanted the Book of the White. Immortality can be a burden. You think of the days that stretch out before you, when you have been everywhere, seen everything. The one thing I hadn't experienced was growing old with someone, someone I loved. I thought perhaps it would be you. But that does not give you the right to make the length of my life your choice and not mine.”

“I know.” Alec sounded more upset than Magnus had ever heard him. “I know, and I wasn't going to do it−”

“I'll be out all day,” Magnus said, delivering the final verdict. “Come and get your things out of the apartment. Leave your key on the dining room table. It's over. I don't want to see you again, Alec. Or any of your friends. I'm tired of being their pet warlock.”

Alec was shaking violently at hearing Magnus’s words, and he dropped his witchlight. It rolled in front of Magnus and he bent down to get it, while Alec was dropping to his knees, searching. The light flickered red. The blood of a fallen angel in your veins tends to do that to witchlight.

“It shouldn't light up like that,” Alec said, getting up to his feet. “For anyone but a Shadowhunter.”

Magnus held the stone out for Alec to take it.

“Is it because of your father?” Alec asked.

Magnus didn’t answer but when he placed the stone in Alec’s hands, he startled at the cold touch. And he couldn’t help himself, instantly he was worried for him. “You're freezing cold.”

“I am?”

“Alexander...” Magnus couldn’t stop it, he pulled Alec close, one arm around him while the other was still in between them, holding the witchlight, which was rapidly changing colors, from blue to jade to orange. Alec laid his head on Magnus’s shoulder and Magnus tightened his arm around him, trying to put some warmth into the ice cold Shadowhunter. He wondered, now that they stood like this, if he was ever going to be able to let him go.

“Kiss me,” Alec whispered against his shoulder.

Magnus took his arm from Alec’s shoulder and laid a hand on his face, brushing with his thumb over Alec’s cheekbone. He’s so beautiful, Magnus thought as he lifted Alec’s face and pressed his lips against him. He felt Alec tightening his grip on him as he kissed him back, unhurried but sad.

Magnus didn’t want it, but he knew he had to muster the strength to break it off and let go. He drew his arms away, watching Alec, holding the witchlight alone now. The light turned white again.

Softly, Magnus said, “Aku cinta kamu.”

“What does that mean?”

Magnus took a step back, making Alec let go of him. “It means I love you. Not that that changes anything.”

“But if you love me,” Alec whispered, forlorn.

“Of course I do. More than I thought I would. But we're still done,” Magnus said. “It doesn't change what you did.”

“But it was just a mistake,” Alec’s voice was so soft now, Magnus could barely hear him. “One mistake.”

“One mistake?” Magnus chuckled mirthlessly. “That's like calling the maiden voyage of the Titanic a minor boating accident. Alec, you tried to shorten my life.”

“It was just, she offered, but I thought about it and I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do that to you.” Alec stammered.

“But you had to think about it. And you never mentioned it to me.” Magnus shook his head. “You didn't trust me. You never have.”

“I do,” Alec tried again, desperately grasping at straws. “I will. I'll try. Give me another chance-”

“No,” Magnus said, firm, now that Alec wasn’t in his arms anymore. He knew he was doing the right thing even if it didn’t feel like it. “And if I might give you a piece of advice: Avoid Camille. There is a war coming, Alexander, and you don't want your loyalties to be in question. Do you?”

He turned and walked away slowly. Deep inside of him the pain, as sharp as a knife, spread out from his chest to his stomach to his limbs. _Never again_ , he thought. _Here I am, once more, holding a broken heart. When do I stop feeling this burn. I can’t do it anymore. I’d rather die than live through this again. Never again._

“Alexander.”

_I say your name._

_One last time._

He took out his phone then and called Tessa in the Spiral Labyrinth, knowing she’d understand. He needed to be away from his house. Not only today but for a longer time. He could go to her. He didn’t feel any relief at the idea, but knowing there was someone there who would always be on his side, who would comfort him, did give him the strength he needed to go on.

To go on forever…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it is a beautiful Sunday and this chapter is really sad, I've decided to post a Malec one shot today. A happy one, to compensate this sad one. It's Magnus's POV and it describes Alec's birthday. It is compatible with chapter 24 of this fic and it's about Magnus realizing he is so madly in love. You can read it here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10450020  
> Let me know your thoughts?! As always, I <3 you guys! And do not despair. The road is long and dark but there is light at the end of the tunnel.


	56. I Loved and I Loved and I Lost You

How can I say this without breaking?

How can I say this without taking over?

How can I put it down into words?

When it's almost too much for my soul alone

 

I loved and I loved and I lost you

I loved and I loved and I lost you

I loved and I loved and I lost you

And it hurts like hell

 

Dreams fight with machines

Inside my head, like adversaries

Come and wrestle me free

Free from the war

Your heart fits like a key

Inside the lock on the wall

And I turn it over, I turn it over

But I can't escape

 

I loved and I loved and I lost you

I loved and I loved and I lost you

I loved and I loved and I lost you

And it hurts like hell

  * Fleurie, Hurts Like Hell



* * *

 

_**Alec** _

Camille wasn’t there anymore. All Alec knew was he wanted her dead. After her betrayal it was what she deserved. But he was too late. She was already murdered by someone else. And now Alec couldn’t do anything else than do what Magnus had demanded. Go to his place and  get his things, leave the key on the dining table. He was going to be out all day.

Alec’s feet brought him to Brooklyn on their own command. He was completely dazed when he climbed the stairs and put his key in the lock. _This is the last time I’m going to use this key._

Inside the apartment everything was familiar. It smelled like Magnus, it smelled like home. Chairman Meow came towards him and nudged his calf. Alec picked him up absentmindedly and ruffled his fur. _This is the last time…_

He felt his knees buckle, and he slid down the wall to the floor, the cat in his arms, and he buried his face in the Chairman’s fur. He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t walk through this apartment, which had been his safe place, his shelter, his haven, and take all that was his and then walk away. How could he walk away from the best thing that had ever happened in his life. He couldn’t do it alone, he needed help. He knew if he didn’t call anyone for help he’d be here until the next day and Magnus  would come home and…

Maybe he would take him back? He did say he loved him. _Aku cinta kamu._

Alec thought it was probably Indonesian, now that he knew that was Magnus’s mother tongue. He couldn’t believe that was information he got from Camille instead of Magnus himself. And there was still so much he didn’t know. So much he wanted to know. Who had he loved and who had loved him? Whose heart did he break, who broke his heart? Where did he live, what did he do? Alec wanted to know, because he loved him.

If he would stay here, and Magnus would return…

It would be useless, Alec knew that. Magnus would probably be mad at him because he hadn’t done what he’d asked. And even if he wouldn’t be mad, he still wouldn’t answer these questions. He’d let Alec swim in the great unknown.

Alec sighed deeply against the cat, who didn’t seem to mind. He felt the tears well up in his eyes and groaned. He didn’t want to cry, to be so broken and weak. He fought back the tears, telling himself to man up, and he pulled out his phone. He needed help. Jace was the first one on his mind, but Jace was still in the infirmary. Isabelle was next on his list. After the second ring she answered.

“Alec?” She sounded worried, as if she knew something was wrong.

“Iz.” Even his voice sounded broken, and he couldn’t continue speaking.

“What’s going on, Alec? Where are you?” Isabelle’s voice sounded so familiar in his ears, Alec felt himself relax. He knew he could tell her anything and she’d be there for him.

“I need you,” he whispered. “Can you come?”

“Are you in Brooklyn?”

“Yes.”

“I’m on my way,” and she hung up the phone.

Alec had no idea how much time passed before Isabelle showed up. He just sat there against the wall, hugging the Chairman and trying with all his might to not completely fall apart. When the  buzzer sounded he got up painfully and buzzed her in, opening the front door and then he sunk back to the floor.

Isabelle appeared at the entrance and knelt in front of him. “Alec, why are you sitting on the floor?  Where’s Magnus?”

Alec stared up at his sister, who looked pretty shocked, which was unique for Isabelle. “He’s gone,” he said, barely audible.

“Gone? Gone where? How?” Isabelle’s voice was tinged with confusion.

Alec sucked in a deep breath and told her what happened, in fits and starts, barely able to finish as he almost choked on the words. The last thing he told her was that Camille was dead, and that he needed to take his stuff out of this apartment. “But I can’t do it. You have to help me.”

“I’ll help you,” Isabelle said softly, “Come.”

She pulled him to his feet, his legs were aching and he walked slowly as Izzy led him to the couch. “You sit here, I’ll get your stuff and then we go home.”

Isabelle pushed him down gently and walked through the door in the direction of the bedroom. She was very efficient, within ten minutes she’d been through the bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen. He didn’t need to tell her what was his, she knew, and Alec felt a little bit better because he knew she’d always be there for him.

She sunk next to him on the sofa, the plastic bag filled with his stuff in her hands. She put the bag down and reached out a hand, softly brushing Alec’s hair out of his eyes. “It’s going to be okay,” she said, “I know he loves you. He’ll take you back.”

“I don’t know about that,” Alec said, “He said it didn’t change anything.”

“But it does,” Izzy said.

“It hurts, Izzy,” Alec whispered, feeling desperate, because he knew he needed to get up and walk away now. There was nothing keeping him here. _Leave the key on the dinner table_. “I can’t escape it and it hurts like hell.”

Isabelle threw her arms around him then and held him close. “I know, I know,” she whispered, “It sucks, Alec. But you are strong, you can take it. We’re Lightwoods, remember?”

He buried his face in her hair, inhaling her familiar scent, and it calmed him down. “We can take whatever they throw at us,” she said softly in his ear.

Alec nodded and got up then, pulling Isabelle up with him. He took the key out of his pocket and dropped it on the table. The keys reminded him of the padlocks on the many bridges in Europe.

_Nous serons encore amoureux avec les couleurs de printemps._

_We’ll still be in love in the spring._

_Of course we will be…_

“Let’s go,” he said, shaking off the memory of Paris.

Isabelle took the bag from the floor and walked out the door. Alec followed her, but turned around one last time on the threshold. His eyes landed on Chairman Meow who looked at him with his green-gold eyes with the slitted cat pupils, so similar to Magnus’s. Somehow the cat seemed sad. _He doesn’t want me to leave,_ Alec thought. He didn’t want to leave himself, either. The Chairman walked over with feline grace and nudged his head against Alec’s calve. Everything about the cat reminded Alec of Magnus. Even the way he nuzzled against him brought back memories of Magnus nuzzling his nose in Alec’s neck.

The cat’s unwillingness to see him go unlocked a flare of hope deep within. As if Magnus and his cat were connected in some way. Alec read this sign of affection as a reason to not give up yet. He squatted down and petted the cat, curling his fingers in the fur, he closed his eyes and saw Magnus behind his closed eyelids, his hands trailing through the warlocks black hair. _This won’t be the last time,_ he thought, _you hear me, Magnus, I’m not going to give up on us._


	57. City of Heavenly Fire - Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are! We've finished the first five books of TMI and now we're at the beginning of the last one: City of Heavenly Fire. I hope you've all enjoyed it so far. I'm so moved and touched by all the kudos and wonderful comments. CoHF is going to be tough, those who read it know, those who haven't are warned.  
> I want to write some more Malec in between the period after the end of CoHF and before the story 'Born to Endless Night.' I'm in need of prompts for that. So, if you want more Malec than the 82 chapters I've already promised you, let me know, and give me some ideas and then I can add!! :)  
> Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns City of Heavenly Fire and these wonderful characters.  
> Trigger warning: there's violence in the chapters belonging to this book, and later, much later on, there will be M/M smut.

####  **City of Heavenly Fire  
**

**Prologue**

* * *

 

####  _**Alec** _

I want you

It’s that simple sometimes

And it hasn’t changed

Since the day we met

I love you

That will always be true

My heart is yours completely

Forever

Even if I die

I don’t want the world

I want you

* * *

 

####  **_Magnus_ **

To love you

Is there anything greater?

You are my life

It was such a long time ago

But now there’s meaning

You give me meaning

The world can be new again

And full of wonders

Full of love

And first things

You are my first so many things

Alexander

 


	58. Without You

 

_Where do we go from here?_   
_How do you fly with no wings_   
_How do you breathe without dreams_   
_Where do we go from here?_

  * Ruelle, _Where do we go from here?_



* * *

####  _Magnus_

Magnus was lying on the couch in Tessa’s living room in the Spiral Labyrinth. She was sitting in a chair across from him, listening to his story. His story of pain and heartbreak and Alexander Lightwood. “I can’t believe I put myself through this,” he confessed to her.

“You loved him,” Tessa said, simply.

“I still love him,” Magnus said, “That doesn’t mean it wasn’t incredibly stupid to think this would work.”

Tessa sighed. “You should forgive him for what he’s done. He is only a boy, and it’s not good for you to hold a grudge. You know Camille and her cunning ways. You can’t hold it against him.”

Magnus looked at her. Tessa had always been such a steady factor in his life. She could state the truth in clear and simple wordings, and she was almost always right.

“I know,” Magnus said softly, “I’ll forgive him. I already did, truly. But that doesn’t change anything. It just doesn’t work, Tessa. To be with a mortal, always afraid that they’ll die and leave you behind. Knowing I can never ever follow him in death.”

“You don’t have to explain that to me. Out of all people, I know. It’s not easy on us, immortals, to see them age and die,” Tessa said, mildly. “But, Magnus, if it’s love…”

“Maybe that worked for you,” Magnus interrupted her, knowing she had loved a mortal, and that she had been heartbroken for decades after Will had died. “But I remember Paris, Tessa. And how you wept in my arms that night. Don’t tell me it was worth it. I can’t do it.”

He closed his eyes, and instantly Alec’s face loomed in the blackness. His blue eyes piercing, and that cute little lopsided grin on his face. “It just doesn’t work, Alec,” he muttered.

“Magnus?” Tessa’s voice sounded worried.

Magnus sighed, “How can you breathe without dreams, Tessa? Where do we go from here? How do we move on? Can you tell me that?”

Tessa stood up and nudged his shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked at her. “Another cup of tea?” she asked, gently, “I can’t help you get over him, but at least I can give you tea.”

He smiled up at her, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, a smile he didn’t feel in his heart. “Thank you,” he said, “Tea’s all I need right now.”

***

After a week spent with Tessa in the Spiral Labyrinth, Magnus didn’t feel any better about his decision, though it didn’t change his mind. Even if Tessa was prodding him about it, he was still absolutely sure. He was never going to do this again.

He knew he was beginning to calcify. He had difficulty with opening up, even to Tessa. He didn’t want to linger on the past. He didn’t know how to hope for the future, and he started to feel restless, being away from home. So he was considering going back to Brooklyn. He was the High Warlock of Brooklyn after all, and his expertise was needed. His voicemail was filled with people wanting something from him. And with Alec, pleading, sounding desperate. Isabelle, too, had called several times, threatening him, demanding him to take Alec back. Even Clary and Simon had called.

Magnus really didn’t want their involvement in his life anymore. It hurt too much. And Alec. God, he missed him so much. It physically hurt. No, he didn’t want to go to Brooklyn. Where the red coffee maker stood in the kitchen. Where Alec’s scent would linger. But he couldn’t stay here and hide any longer. Tomorrow, he told himself, tomorrow he would go back.

* * *

 

####   _Alec_

“Alec,” his mother’s voice sounded muffled behind his bedroom door, “Alec? Can I come in?”

Alec didn’t answer, but turned on his side, his back to the door, wiping furiously at his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, but the pain was so overwhelming, he couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Being alone in his bed in the Institute at night was so much more awful than he could’ve imagined. He wasn’t even used to sleeping in this bed anymore. Since he had returned with Magnus from their vacation he hadn’t slept a night here. He’d been in Brooklyn, slept in Brooklyn, with Magnus. Now, in his own bed, he didn’t know how to sleep without the warmth and comfort Magnus had brought him. So he lay awake for hours, trying to fight against the despair and the overwhelming pain in his chest, until he was so exhausted that the tears came and he cried.

His mother knocked on the door, softly. “Alec, I’m coming in,” she said, and he heard the door open.

His mother’s footsteps sounded soft on the carpet as she went to sit on his bed. He felt her hand on his back. “Alec, honey, can you please talk to me? I know you’ve been hurting, and I worry for you. But you never say anything to me. Talk to me.”

Alec turned around and looked at her, suddenly furious, “Like you could give me advice about my relationships! You’re not even together with dad anymore. And you’re too scared to admit it.”

His mother sighed and looked at him with sad eyes. “I’m not saying I should give you advice. I’m asking you to talk to me. It can help you, to talk.”

“That’s what he said,” Alec muttered. He rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling. “When Max died, Magnus said it would help to talk about him. So I did, I told him the stories of Max. And he listened.”

“What happened?” Maryse asked softly. She took his hand in hers and squeezed. “You’re my son, Alec, you can tell me anything. I will always listen and be here for you when you need me.”

Alec nodded, he believed her. So he started telling her what he’d told Isabelle, and later Jace. How he had considered taking away Magnus’s immortality. How he knew it was a bad idea. How Camille had betrayed him and had gone to Magnus behind his back. And how Magnus had broken up with him because of it. Maryse listened without interrupting him, all the while she brushed her thumb over his hand, absentmindedly.

When he finished the story she stayed quiet for such a long time that he took his eyes from the ceiling to look at her. She was staring off in the middle distance but felt his eyes on her.

“What did he do?” she asked, turning her head to look at him.

“What do you mean?” Alec said, confused.

“I mean,” she said slowly, “What did he do that made you turn to Camille instead of talking to him. I know you, Alec. You had a reason.”

“She was the only person I could talk to about Magnus,” Alec said, pensive, “The only person who knew Magnus as someone other than the High Warlock of Brooklyn. As a person who could love and be loved. She gave me answers.”

“What kind of answers?” Maryse asked.

“Answers to questions about him. Questions he evaded or waved away.”

His mother narrowed her eyes a little. “It takes two people to make a relationship work. And when it doesn’t work…” Maryse sighed, “Well, there are two sides to every story. Don’t be too hard on yourself, he played a part in this.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Alec said, feeling the strange urge to defend Magnus, “I was the one who tried to shorten his life.”

“Did you really?” Maryse wondered, “Because it seems to me you went to Camille, because you wanted to talk to someone.”

Alec nodded and Maryse continued, “If you’d take away the part where you tried to shorten his life, as you say it, then what is the biggest problem you two have?”

Alec thought about that for awhile. He thought about Magnus’s lack of response, his lack of willingness to share, and how he, in turn, told Magnus everything on his mind. “I talk too much, and he talks too little,” Alec finally said.

“There you have it,” Maryse said, “And communication is the most important thing in a relationship.”

“Is that why you and dad split up?” Alec asked, “Because you didn’t communicate?”

Maryse nodded, looking very sad, “That, and Max… We couldn’t help each other.”

Alec looked up at her and thought about Magnus. Magnus had helped him with Max, and he knew he’d helped Magnus, too. Not with anything emotional maybe, but Magnus had needed him. _I always need your strength, Alec._

Alec couldn’t help but wonder how Magnus was doing now, without his strength.

Maryse reached out a hand and touched his cheek. “I’m sorry, Alexander. I shouldn’t bother you with this. Try to get some sleep now. Stop blaming yourself, or at least acknowledge he’s to blame, too. And I know it hurts, but it will get better, I promise.”

“Is it getting better for you?” Alec whispered.

“It will,” Maryse said, sounding firm, “We are Lightwoods.”

She stood up and kissed him on the forehead, and then she tucked him in, as if he were still a little child. He closed his eyes then, sinking into a dream that was golden and green. Like Magnus’s eyes.

***

Alec was wandering through the city, aimlessly. Going in and out of stores: clothing stores, drug stores, jewelry stores. He didn’t like shopping and had no clue what he was doing there, really. But he hated to be at loose ends these days, so he tried to fill them up with useless chores, and stupid things like shopping or joining Jace in another session of mindfulness.

Jace needed mindfulness, since the fire of heaven was coursing through his veins. Ever since Clary had stabbed him with the Angel’s sword, Jace was a vessel, and wired as if he was standing under constant electrical current. Anything that would upset him was dangerous, he could set things on fire with his hands. 

So, mindfulness it was, to try to get that fire under control. But today Jace was away with Clary and Alec felt restless, alone in the Institute. He needed a new phone, which gave him an actual excuse to go shopping. And he knew that in a few days it was Magnus’s birthday. He needed to buy him something, even if he couldn’t give it to him.

He’d spend the past weeks calling Magnus a dozen times, but he never called back. He’d been to Brooklyn a few times, not able to stop himself. Every time the windows of the loft were black and cold and abandoned. Magnus wasn’t there, and Alec was afraid he wasn’t ever coming back.

The talk he had with his mother had helped him a little. Before that talk he’d only felt bad for what he had done, and he’d apologized to Magnus, over and over, in his head and over the phone, filling his voicemail without hearing anything back from him. But after talking to his mum, Alec understood that this awful break-up wasn’t completely and solely his fault. Magnus had a part in it, too.

Not that that realization helped anything. It didn’t bring him back. And Alec wondered every day how he could go on, now. Where to go from here? He looked up at the sky, a bird flying over, and he felt like he was a bird, too. But without wings. And how can you fly without wings?

After spending a ridiculous amount of money to buy a fairphone, he stumbled upon a jewelry store where his eye was drawn to a small cabinet with glass doors, in which several pieces of jewelry were lying. Each of them adorned with a Tiger Eye stone. It reminded him of Magnus. The Tiger Eye was a powerful stone. Alec knew it stood for bravery, and protection, and right use of power. It was fitting for a High Warlock. He carefully looked at each piece of jewelry and decided to go for a ring. It was a masculine ring. The stone, shining amber, was filed in a rectangle and set in a broad band of silver. There were symbols edged in the silver, swirling lines that reminded Alec of fire. It looked very much like the Lightwood symbol, which was etched in his own silver family ring. It was a beautiful piece.

The salesman put it in a small velvet box and handed it over to Alec, smiling and telling him it was an exquisite choice. Alec nodded, trying to be polite, which was difficult. He didn’t feel like being polite, he only felt miserable.

As soon as he was out of the shop, he took the subway to Brooklyn. Magnus’s apartment still looked abandoned, and Alec didn’t have a key anymore. He stood outside on the sidewalk, wondering what to do, when a woman came walking towards him. She reached for her keys and opened the door. Alec didn’t hesitate for a second, but walked in after her, hurriedly taking the stairs to the second floor landing.

In front of Magnus’s door he came to a stand. Should he knock or ring the doorbell? Magnus wasn’t home, probably not, but should he try? He laid his head against the door, trying to hear something. Finally, he took out his stele and drew a hearing rune on his wrist. He listened again, intently, but there was nothing at the other side of the door. He knelt down and placed the box on the doormat. Then he turned and walked back down the stairs. _Where do I go from here?_

* * *

 

####  _Magnus_

Magnus portalled from the Spiral Labyrinth straight into the loft in Brooklyn. As soon as he appeared, Chairman Meow came towards him, meowing accusingly at him. “I’m sorry for abandoning you,” Magnus muttered as he picked up the cat. “But Catarina did came to feed you, didn’t she?”

The Chairman wailed loudly which made Magnus wonder if she did. He walked to the kitchen where he saw a bowl, still half full with cat food, on the floor. “You’re just acting out,” he grumbled at the cat.

When he came into the living room his eyes fell on something shining on the dinner table. Two keys attached by a single ring. One for the downstairs door, and one for the front door. Alec’s keys. Magnus swallowed hard at the lump in his throat, and he told himself sternly that he was being ridiculous. He’d asked Alec to leave the keys, what else did he expect?

Still, seeing the keys on the table brought a finality with it that hurt him more than he expected. He was beginning to solidify, it was common for warlocks who’d lived for a long time. And it meant it was difficult for him to change, to feel anything with great intensity. Yet, when it came to Alec, his feelings were so intense, it scared him.

He plunged down on the sofa and snapped his fingers, willing the table, and the keys on them, away. The loft emptied as he sent every piece of furniture to a store box in the docks. They all reminded him of Alec, and he wanted them gone. He was just cleaning the floor from litter as his eye fell on a little black box standing next to the door. A white piece of paper folded on top of it.

He stood up and retrieved it, reading the note.

_Magnus, I found this in front of your door when I came to feed your cat. There was no note or anything, but I assume it’s from your Shadowhunter. Catarina._

Magnus let the note fall on the ground and regarded the box with suspicious eyes. What did Alec do? Why buy him a gift? Magnus sighed deeply as he eyed the box, curiosity taking over. His fingers went to his wrist for a moment, touching the snake’s head bracelet on his arm, as his other hand popped open the box.

He sucked in a breath when he saw the ring with the Tiger Eye stone, set in a broad silver band. He noticed the swirling lines etched in the sides of the ring, looking like fire. The Lightwood family symbol. The ring was stunning. He took off all his rings before he took it out and slid it on his right ring finger, where it fit perfectly. Stretching his hand out before him, he appreciated the gleam of the sun making the stone shine like gold. Exquisite taste. Magnus was absolutely sure this was a gift from Alec. He shook his head. What was Alec doing to him? He felt he was going crazy without him.

And the Chairman wasn’t happy about it either.

He took off the ring and put it back in the box. It was more than beautiful, but he couldn’t wear it. Not now at least, it was too painful.

He took out his phone and ordered Chinese, ignoring the dozens of missed calls that popped up on his screen. When the buzzer sounded a half an hour later, Magnus thought the Chinese takeout was finally keeping up with their promises to deliver within the hour. Of course it was too good to be true, because seconds later Isabelle Lightwood appeared on his doorstep.

“Good, you’re home,” she said as she stalked past him into the loft.

“Why are you here?” Magnus asked in a cold voice.

“Because I want to shout at you,” Isabelle said, looking at him defiantly. “For hurting my brother. You said you loved him. And now this! I can’t believe you dumped him. He’s heartbroken, Magnus. Fix it!”

Magnus was a little surprised that she was indeed shouting at him, and he could tell by the pain in her voice that she meant it, too. He didn’t let her know what it did to him, though. Instead he waved with his hand. “Fix it, Magnus,” he imitated her, using a high pitched voice. “You’re the High Warlock of Brooklyn, fix it.”

He glared at her, suddenly furious, “Go away,” he said, his voice sounding like ice cracking. “I’m not your pet warlock, and I’m not going to fix it. Go. Away. Now.”

Isabelle took a step back and stared at him, wide eyed. “By the Angel,” she whispered, “Can’t you see what you’re doing? Not just to him but to yourself?”

“Go away,” Magnus said and he turned and walked out of the room, knowing she wouldn’t follow. Seconds later he heard the door slam closed. He put his head in his hands and sighed, burdened by the weight of infinite sadness.

_Alec. How am I going to live without you?_

He sat back on the couch in the living room and took his black spiral-bound notebook out of his pocket. Tessa had given it to him, telling him to write about Alec. She’d said writing her story of Will had helped her.

Magnus didn’t want to write about Alec, and instead he’d started to write down his life. Not everything, but bits and pieces. Adventures he’d had with Ragnor and Catarina in Peru. How he’d met Camille, and Will, and Woolsey Scott. How he’d met and saved Raphael Santiago. He didn’t know why he did it, but he’d started it and was unable to stop.

He opened the book, intending to write a little further, when his eyes fell on the empty first page. It was waiting for a prescript. He took a pencil and wrote two lines.

_To love you_

_Is there anything greater?_


	59. The World's End

When it rains, it pours  
There will be blood in the water  
Cold to the core  
Faith falls hard on our shoulders  
  
This is our time  
No turning back  
We could live, we could live like legends  
This is our time  
No turning back  
We could live, we could live like legends  
  
Faith falls hard on our shoulders  
But legends never die.

  * Ruelle, _Live like legends_



* * *

####  _Magnus_

_The city was abandoned. The streets completely empty. High buildings and skyscrapers stood like skeletons sticking in the air. Their walls were made of bone instead of concrete. Magnus stood alone in the street as he felt a drop of water fall on his hand. He looked down and saw it was red, red like blood. More drops came and the rain changed into a downpour. The city streets were filled with blood. And then a voice sounded, a voice Magnus recognized, because it was his father’s voice._

_“The world will end in blood. First the blood of the Nephilim. Then the blood of Downworld. And finally the blood of humans. In the end, only ashes shall remain.”_

Magnus sat up straight and reached a hand out for the other side of the bed, searching for Alec, only to find it cold and empty. Alec was gone. He put his head in his hands and groaned. This wasn’t the first time this dream had come to him. And because his father was a fallen angel, he was able to send him true dreams. Magnus didn’t doubt that this was one of those. _First the blood of the Nephilim._ It made him shiver from fear. Alec was Nephilim. Even though it had been more than two weeks since Magnus had broken up with him, he didn’t love him any less. He was thinking about him all the time, and he was terrified for him.

The apocalypse was coming. Valentine’s evil son was so much smarter than his father had been, and so much worse. And he had strong allies. Stronger even than Magnus’s own father. Magnus had looked into it but hadn’t found anything and that made him even more scared.

Maryse had called him a few hours ago to ask him to make a portal. There’d been attacks on several Institutes all over the earth, and they were calling every Shadowhunter to fall back to Idris, where they’d be protected by their wards. Magnus was relieved when Maryse told him that, knowing Idris was the safest place for Alec to be. But he declined her, and redirected her to Catarina. He couldn’t see Alec, and he knew he had to when he made that portal. Catarina had send him a text, telling him he was being childish, and why did she had to do it while he was so much better at it. He texted her back, telling her to shut up.

He hadn’t heard from Alec for a while now. The last time Alec texted him he’d asked if Magnus had received the present he’d gotten him, since today was his birthday. And if he’d please, please, please call him back. But after that there’d been silence. No text about leaving for Idris. Nothing. Jace had come by, acting extremely insufferable and telling Magnus off, saying he didn’t have any friends. Obnoxious Shadowhunter. What did he know about Magnus and his friends? Nothing.

Jace had made him worried about Alec, and shortly after that Maryse had called. Magnus felt declining her was a good idea, but now, after waking up in a cold bed after such a dream, Magnus’s yearning for Alec was too strong to ignore. He had to see him one last time before he left. Had to make sure Alec would be save. That Alec would live. Because being apart from him was torture, but living in a world without Alec in it, he didn’t think he could do that.

He got out of bed and put on a simple pair of jeans with a black shirt, in no mood to dress up. Then he hurried to the Institute, knowing they could leave any minute. Now that he had decided he wanted to see Alec, he felt restless and edgy, knowing only Alec’s presence could relax him.

***

The garden was filled with frenzied Shadowhunters, waiting for Catarina to open the portal. Magnus spotted Alec instantly, standing next to his mother, wearing jeans with an ugly hoodie, as always. His heart jumped at the sight of him and he thought it started beating faster, too. _Alec was here_. It had been too long since he’d last seen him, and it did more to him than he thought possible.

He approached him and then Alec looked up and straight into his eyes. He froze from shock at the sight of him, and Magnus had to suck in a breath, because Alec looked so sad. Magnus didn’t know how to deal with it. He jerked his head, indicating Alec to follow him as he walked around the side of the church. When he turned around Alec was there, staring at him, his eyes a beautiful blue and wide open.

“Okay,” Magnus said. “You wanted to talk to me. So talk.”

Alec kept staring and stammered, “I wanted—What?”

Magnus frowned, frustrated mostly at himself for giving in and coming here. He could see in Alec’s eyes how upset he was, and it made him want to throw his arms around him, hold him close and never let go. Exactly the opposite of what he was supposed to do.

“Wanted to talk to me,” Magnus said, when Alec remained quiet. “I assumed that was the meaning of all those phone calls. And why you sent all your stupid friends over to my apartment. Or do you just do that to everyone?”

He saw Alec swallow with difficulty, his eyes had started to shine dangerously, and Magnus was very afraid he was going to cry. “Aren’t you ever going to forgive me?” Alec finally said.

“I—” He said, and then he had to look away from that piercing gaze. He shook his head. “Alec. I have forgiven you.”

“It doesn’t seem like it. You seem angry.”

Magnus closed his eyes for a split second and looked at Alec again, “I’m worried about you,” he said. “The attacks on the Institutes. I just heard.”

“Did you know we were leaving for Idris?” Alec asked, he sounded a bit shaky.

“Catarina told me she’d been summoned to make a Portal. I guessed,” Magnus said, not wanting to let Alec know he’d blown off his mother’s request. “I was a little surprised you hadn’t called or texted to tell me you were going away.”

“You never answer my calls or texts,” said Alec.

“That hasn’t stopped you before.”

“Everyone gives up eventually,” Alec said. “Besides. Jace broke my phone.”

Magnus couldn’t help but laugh at that. Alec was so wonderfully straightforward and to the point sometimes. He so loved that about him. “Oh, Alexander,”  he breathed.

His yearning to touch Alec, to be closer to him, grew with the second.

“What?” Alec asked, seemingly mystified.

“You’re just—You’re so—I really want to kiss you,” Magnus said, shaking his head. “See, this is why I haven’t been willing to see you.”

_Because I knew I couldn’t keep away. And I’d cave in and melt like an iceberg in summertime._

“But you’re here now,” Alec said, he sounded hopeful, suddenly. “You could—”

“I can’t,” Magnus said, knowing he had to stand firm on this. “It’s not working, it wasn’t working. You have to see that, don’t you?”

He moved forward, almost against his own will and placed his hands on Alec’s shoulders, brushing his thumb against the bare skin of Alec’s neck. “Don’t you?” he asked and then his lips were on Alec’s, unable as he was to stay away from him. The touch of Alec’s lips against his was electrifying. He felt Alec lean in and he slid his hands around Alec’s neck, to press him closer as he moved his lips against him. _I can’t be without him._

Alec parted his lips and Magnus knew with a certainty as clear as glass that if he wouldn’t let him go this instant, he would never be able to, and he needed to let him go. It wasn’t working and he couldn’t delude himself or Alec, so he broke off the kiss and stepped away.

“What,” Alec said, staring at him, he looked smaller somehow, and a bit scared. “Magnus, what?”

Magnus felt his heart slamming against his ribcage, he was fighting hard to stand his ground. “I shouldn’t have done that,” he said and he noticed how rushed he sounded. He felt a flush of agitation flare up on his cheeks. “I forgive you, but I can’t be with you. I can’t. It doesn’t work. I’m going to live forever, or at least until someone finally kills me, and you’re not, and it’s too much for you to take on—”

“Don’t tell me what’s too much for me,” said Alec in his own blunt way, and it shocked Magnus.

He was too upset to keep his face unreadable, and he knew Alec could see both his agitation, his yearning and the shock on his face.

“It’s too much for most people,” he said softly, wanting badly for Alec to understand it. “Most mortals. And not easy on us, either. Watching someone you love age and die. I knew a girl, once, immortal like me—”

“And she was with someone mortal?” said Alec. “What happened?”

“He died,” Magnus said, plainly. “I don’t know why I thought this would ever work. I’m sorry, Alec. I shouldn’t have come.”

“No,” Alec said. “You shouldn’t.”

Magnus did a double take and suddenly felt very vulnerable. He had let his guard down around Alec, but now he felt wary and scared to find out the reason why Alec thought he shouldn’t have come.

“I don’t know why you did,” Alec continued. “I know I’ve been torturing myself for weeks now about you, and what I did, and how I shouldn’t have done it, shouldn’t ever have talked to Camille. I’ve been sorry and I’ve understood and I’ve apologized and apologized, and you haven’t ever been there. I did all that without you. So it makes me wonder what else I could do, without you.”

Magnus stared wide eyed into Alec’s eyes. He looked pensive as he continued talking. “It was my fault, what happened. But it was your fault too. I could have learned not to care that you’re immortal and I’m mortal. Everyone gets the time they get together, and no more. Maybe we’re not so different that way. But you know what I can’t get past?”

Suddenly Magnus noticed something burning in Alec’s eyes. Frustration and disappointment, tinged with passion and regret. “That you never tell me anything. I don’t know when you were born. I don’t know anything about your life—what your real name is, or about your family, or what the first face you ever loved was, or the first time your heart was broken. You know everything about me, and I know nothing about you. That’s the real problem.”

“I told you,” Magnus said softly, “On our first date that you would have to take me as I came, no questions—”

Alec made a waving gesture with his hand, very similar to how Magnus himself would wave annoying comments of others away. “That’s not a fair thing to ask, and you know—you knew—I didn’t understand enough about love then to understand that. You act like you’re the wronged party, but you had a hand in this, Magnus.”

It unhinged Magnus, hearing these words from Alec. Alec accusing him for withholding himself from him. With a mild shock Magnus realized that Alec was right.

“Yes,” he said finally. “Yes, I suppose I did.”

“But that doesn’t change anything?” Alec said, and Magnus heard he was getting upset. “It never does, with you.”

“I can’t change,” Magnus confessed. “It’s been too long. We petrify, you know, immortals, like fossils turn to stone. I thought when I met you that you had all this wonder and all this joy and everything was new to you, and I thought it would change me, but—”

“Change yourself,” Alec’s voice sounded soft, sad and pleading and it broke Magnus’s heart all over again.

He shook his head, he couldn’t do what Alec asked him. He didn’t know how to. He’d lived like this for years now, for decades, and he felt it was too late.

“Alec,” he said finally. “You know my dream. The one about the city made of blood, and blood in the streets, and towers of bone. If Sebastian gets what he wants, that will be this world. The blood will be Nephilim blood. Go to Idris. You’re safer there, but don’t be trusting, and don’t let your guard down. I need you to live.”

He breathed in deeply, turned around, abruptly, and walked away. He heard Alec behind him sink down on the stone bench against the wall of the church. It took him every ounce of will power to keep walking. Keep walking. Don’t turn around. Don’t think back. It just wasn’t working.

Alec had asked him to change. But Alec was young, new to the world. Alec had no idea how it was to live forever. To experience the same things over and over again until everything lost its meaning.  _Maybe_ , Magnus thought, _maybe it was about time for the world to end._

 


	60. When Heavenly Fire Burns

_“Mortals die,” said Catarina. “You have always known that, and yet you’ve loved them before.”_

_“Not,” Magnus said, “like this.”_

\-          City of Heavenly Fire, chapter 5, Message of Revenge, page 137.

* * *

 

**_Magnus_ **

_Oh…Oh… Magnus, you are impossibly stupid._

Catarina’s words echoed in his head as he left the Hunter’s Moon on his way home, to portal to Idris.

_Am I?_

_If that’s the way you feel, you should be with him._

She’d convinced him then to go to Idris in her stead. There was a council meeting planned in a few days and the representatives of Downworld were required to come. Magnus had asked her to take his place but now she gave it back. Sending him to Idris, to Alec, to be with him.

Magnus wasn’t convinced, even though he’d let her persuade him to go. There had been an attack on the werewolves of the Praetor Lupus, Sebastian had killed them all, including that cute werewolf boy, Jordan. Magnus felt compelled to go to Idris to contact Luke. As the leader of the New York werewolf pack he needed to know what had happened.

So he went, but could he really go see Alec? And tell him what? That he was going to change for him? Magnus didn’t know if he could do that, he also didn’t know if he should burden Alec with false hope. And yet, his whole body, his mind, his heart and his soul ached for Alec. He felt restless without him, as if he’d lost his footing and didn’t know where to stand in this world anymore. All the peace his Shadowhunter warrior had given to him was taken away the moment he’d broken up with him. And he really wanted it back.

In his apartment he grabbed the black spiral-bound notebook and, in a moment of sentimentality, the box with the Tiger Eye ring. Then he made a portal and went to Idris, to Luke’s house in Alicante. He felt a tinge of excitement, the prospect of possibly seeing Alec again was invigorating him. Catarina made a good point, if he loved him like he did, he should hold on and never let go. But Magnus felt uncertain. Not only about his own incapability to change or his love for Alec, but because of who Alec was.

Alec was a Shadowhunter. Blessed by the Angel, a chosen one. Alec was true and beautiful, inside and outside, faithful and loving. Alec was everything Magnus was not. Magnus was a child of a fallen angel. And as a child of a fallen angel, he was fallen, himself.

And Alec was mortal, mortal and therefore temporary. And that which was temporary had the power to break your heart.

No, Magnus wasn’t sure. He loved him so much, more than he thought he was able to love anyone, after all this time of being alive and walking this earth. But was love enough?

* * *

 

**_Alec_ **

Alec was frustrated with how things had ended between him and Magnus before he portalled to Idris. When Magnus had broken up with him, he’d held hope that they would overcome it. That one day Magnus would forgive him and take him back. But now it turned out he had already forgiven him and it wasn’t the reason they weren’t together.

Magnus was solidifying. Unable to change, unwilling to try. And for the first time since they broke up, Alec realized that Magnus’s unwillingness to open up was the biggest problem their relationship held. It wasn’t about Alec not being able to deal with Magnus’s immortality. It was Magnus who wasn’t dealing with it. Alec had wanted to shake him, beg him to change. But he couldn’t and Magnus had walked away.

And now he was in Idris without him. There was a war coming with Sebastian, and Alec felt in his blood that this war was bigger than anything he’d encountered before. Magnus had told him about his dream of the city filled with blood. It was impending doom.

Despite everything Alec wished Magnus was here with him. If the world was going to end in blood, then it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did, really. So to spend these last days with the one person he loved the most in the entire world, that was all he wanted. After all, he didn’t want the world, he wanted Magnus.

He was contemplating this when he saw the demon towers light up outside of his window. A distress call from the Gard. It meant there was an attack happening somewhere and Shadowhunters were needed. Alec stood up from his bed, hurriedly dressed in his gear and strapped his bow on his back.

Downstairs he bumped into Isabelle. She was dressed in gear like him and looked flustered, upset. “Have you seen the lights? We should go to the Gard. It must be Sebastian.”

When they arrived at the Gard they found out Sebastian had attacked the Iron Sisters at the Adamant Citadel. In the distance they saw the Portal was set up to bring people through to the Citadel. Alec saw Jace and Clary disappearing into the whirlwind. The whole place buzzed with excitement and Alec lost Isabelle, as he was trying to get to the Portal, pushing through the throng of countless Shadowhunters. But then Consul Penhallow closed the Portal, explaining there were enough people gone through.

Alec turned around when he heard Isabelle scream his name. He saw her some distance away thrashing in his father’s arms. He walked towards them, the crowd was beginning to thin out, Shadowhunters were moving to the Gard where they had to wait for instructions.

“Shut up, you lying bastard,” Alec heard his sister yell at his father. He rushed the last few steps towards them as Robert let Izzy go.

“Isabelle—” he said, trying to calm her down, wondering why she was so upset. “Isabelle, let’s go back to the house.”

He reached for her hand but she jerked it back and for a moment Alec thought she was going to punch him. “No,” she said. “Jace and Clary went through; we should get to go with them.”

Alec looked at his father who shook his head, looking weary. “They weren’t meant to go,” he said. “They did it against strict orders. It doesn’t mean you should follow.”

“They knew what they were doing.” Isabelle was furious and Alec wondered why she was so mad at her father, it wasn’t his fault. “You need more Shadowhunters facing Sebastian, not less.”

“Isabelle, I don’t have time for this,” said Robert, and his eyes rested on Alec, as if hoping for Alec to take his side and make her understand. “There are only twenty Endarkened there with Sebastian. We sent fifty warriors through.”

“Twenty of them is like a hundred Shadowhunters,” said Alec quietly. “Our side could be slaughtered.”

“If anything happens to Jace and Clary, it’ll be your fault,” Isabelle spat at her father. “Just like Max.”

Alec stiffened at the mention of his little brother and saw his father shrink back. They both stared at Isabelle in shock.

“Isabelle,” Maryse appeared from behind him and Alec thought she looked as stunned as he and his father were. “Alec’s right,” she said. “Let’s go back to the house—”

“No,” Isabelle said. “Didn’t you hear the Consul? We’re needed here, at the Gard. They might want reinforcements.”

“They’ll want adults, not children,” said Maryse. “If you’re not going to go back, then apologize to your father. Max’s—What happened to Max was no one’s fault but Valentine’s.”

“And maybe if you hadn’t been on Valentine’s side once, there wouldn’t have been a Mortal War,” Isabelle was hissing now, totally out of control. She whirled on Robert. “I’m tired of pretending I don’t know what I know. I know you cheated on mom.”

Alec opened his mouth, wanting to tell her to shut up, but the words stuck in his throat. Isabelle continued speaking, stumbling over the words.

“Before Max was born. I know,” Izzy almost shouted at Robert, pointing towards Maryse, “She told me. With some woman who died in the Mortal War. And you were going to leave too, leave all of us, and you only stayed because Max was born, and I bet you’re glad he’s dead, aren’t you, because now you don’t have to stay.”

“Isabelle—” Alec found his voice, horrified by what his sister was saying.

Robert turned to Maryse. “You told her? By the Angel, Maryse, when?”

“You mean it’s true?” Alec couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His father, with all his self righteousness, his prejudice against Alec being gay, had actually cheated on his wife.

Robert turned to him, a pleading look in his eyes. “Alexander, please—”

But Alec didn’t want to hear it. No excuse could be good enough. He turned and walked away to Jia Penhallow. There were more pressing matters at hand now. He had to make Jia understand there were more warriors needed against Sebastian, that she should send him through. He felt a cold prickle on his back and nerves flaring up in his stomach.

As he approached her, he said, “You have to let us go after them. Fifty is not enough, trust me on this, I know the Endarkened. Our people will get slaughtered.”

“It’s not that simple, Alec,” Jia said, she seemed very tired. “Portal magic is complicated, and we’ve heard nothing from the Iron Sisters to indicate that they need our assistance. Besides, after what happened in London earlier today, we need to be here, on alert—”

“I’m telling you, I know,” Alec said. He was shivering, still somewhat in shock at what happened just now with his parents, remembering his father looking at him, pleading with him. But there was another reason he was cold. It was a feeling of foreboding that something terrible was going to happen. Alec felt it, cold as ice, ominous. “You don’t understand the Endarkened; you don’t understand what they’re like—”

The pain which suddenly shot through his shoulder was so severe that it made him collapse in on himself and his knees buckled. He fell down on the ground and cried out as the intense sting, seemingly coming from nowhere, seared through his chest.

“Alec—Alec!” He felt Jia’s hands on his shoulder and saw his parents running toward him. The pain was agonizing and strangely doubled because it wasn’t his pain at all. He realized with a profound clarity  that the pain was burning in someone else.

“Jace,” he groaned, as it dawned on him. “Something’s happened—the fire. You have to open a Portal, quickly.”

Maryse was next to him now, an arm around him. “Alec, what’s happening?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered, trying to catch his breath. The pain was slowly subsiding but he knew Jace was badly wounded. This wasn’t supposed to happen with parabatai. It was highly unpractical in a fight. All Alec knew was that something was terribly wrong. “It’s a parabatai thing, it’s Jace. Something happened with the heavenly fire and he’s wounded.”

Maryse looked up at Jia. “Open the Portal, now!”

Jia nodded as Maryse pulled him up. “You go back to the house now, okay? Isabelle has run off, maybe you can try to talk some sense into her.”

Alec got to his feet painfully and nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

***

Back in the house Alec found Isabelle making out with Simon in his bedroom. Simon had come to Idris with Raphael, who was the vampire representative of the Clave. While Simon and Izzy were bickering about something Alec wasn’t interested in he felt his parabatai rune flare up and he cried out. Isabelle whirled on him, “Alec! What’s wrong?”

His hand reached for the rune and his fingers came back smudged with black. “They’ve come back through the Portal,” he said. “And there’s something wrong with Jace.”

“We should go to the Basilias,” Isabelle said and the three of them went out of the house in the direction of Angel Square, where the large infirmary of Alicante was situated across from the Hall of Accords.

The square was filled with frenzied Nephilim running around. Alec felt haggard and anxious for Jace. He was wounded, but how bad?

“The Basilias is open,” Isabelle said to him, pointing to the hospital. “They might have taken Jace in there, if he was hurt—”

“He was hurt,” Alec said shortly. He clutched his left shoulder with his right hand, the shoulder felt stiff and the rune was throbbing.

“Isabelle. Come on,” Alec said as Isabelle said something to Simon. He walked towards the hospital, knowing she’d follow him.

Inside he hurriedly asked a Silent Brother if Jace was there, which he affirmed. The Brother pointed him to a hospital room where he found his parents standing over a bed in which a pale boy with golden hair lay, unconscious. Alec hasted inside, pushed past his parents and knelt down by the bed, taking Jace’s hand in his.

“What happened?” he asked softly. Maryse, behind him, explained Jace was cut by Sebastian and the wound had leaked fire. Clary had healed him and he wasn’t in any life danger. All he needed now was rest. Alec felt a profound relief wash over him, knowing Jace would be okay.

“Where’s Clary?” Isabelle, who had entered the room behind him, asked.

“Jocelyn came to take her outside. She’s used up almost all her energy to heal Jace with an _iratze_.” Maryse said while looking at Alec with a weird expression on her face.

“What?” he asked. “What’s going on?”

“There’s nothing the Brothers could do for her so Jocelyn took her to Magnus.” Maryse said hesitantly.

Alec sucked in a breath and looked at his mother incredulous. “Magnus? But he’s in New York.”

“Apparently he isn’t. He’s here. And Clary needed warlock healing. They’re outside on the square.”

Alec felt frozen as he slowly turned to look to Jace again. He forced himself to stand. “I…” he stammered, not knowing what to say, “I’m going to see if she’s okay,” he said finally, knowing it was a lame excuse.

But if Magnus were really here, he needed to know, to see it for himself. So he rushed out of the room and out of the building. Coming to a stop at the top of the steps, he looked out over the square, which was filled with dead bodies from the attack at the Citadel and Shadowhunters everywhere, helping wounded, crying over lost ones.

His eyes searched the crowd and fell on Simon standing a little apart, talking to Luke. And next to them, on the ground, sat Magnus.

Clary lay beside him, very still, and for a moment Alec was scared she was dead, she looked dead. But he saw Jocelyn sitting next to her, looking anxious but not devastated, which reassured Alec that she was probably going to be fine.

He stared at Magnus then. He was kneeling, hovering over Clary, sending blue sparks of magic into her body, healing her. _Magnus was here_. Here with him in Alicante. Alec fought the urge to run through the crowd and wrap his arms around him, bury his head in Magnus’s neck. It would be so easy to do. To forget everything that had happened in the past few hours. Finding out his father had been cheating on his mother. Writhing in pain because Jace was wounded. Seeing Clary lying there so still. All of it could recede if he were in Magnus’s arms.

But he couldn’t and he knew that. _Change yourself_ , he’d asked Magnus, but Magnus had shaken his head and walked away. All Alec could do now was the same and he turned on his heels and went back inside the Basilias.


	61. Dutch Courage

####  _Magnus_

Magnus had told Luke and Jocelyn about what had happened with the Praetor Lupus. They were discussing Sebastian’s message to the Downworlders. Sebastian wanted them to side with him, against the Nephilim. If they wouldn’t, they’d all end up like the Praetor.

Jocelyn was pleading with Magnus not to tell this to the other representatives at the dinner tomorrow night. But Magnus wouldn’t have any of it. He would never suggest to side with Sebastian, the boy was untrustworthy, but he did feel the need to preach honesty. Downworld deserved to know the truth. It was impossible to cover up the Praetor slaughter anyway.

They were still discussing it when there was a loud bang at the door. Luke went to open it and a moment later a blonde Shadowhunter girl entered. Magnus recognized the slightly pointed ears, indicating the girl had faerie blood.

“Helen Blackthorn,” Jocelyn said, “Why are you here?”

“There’s been an attack on the Adamant Citadel. Jace and Clary went through the Portal to fight,” the girl explained.

Magnus stared at her in horror, instantly his mind went to Alec. If Jace went through, then Alec…

“Jace got wounded and Clary healed him, but she exhausted herself in the process. You should come at once, she’s in the Basilias,” Helen said.

Jocelyn had gone pale and whirled on Magnus. “Please, come?”

Magnus nodded and the four of them left the house, on their way to Angels Square. He looked over at the strange looking Shadowhunter girl, searching for a way to question her about Alec, without having to explicitly mention him.

“Who else were there?” he asked, carefully choosing his words, “Were there many wounded, are there deaths?”

Helen nodded, “It was bad. They sent through about fifty Shadowhunters, thinking that was enough against twenty Endarkened. But they were ambushed. Many perished.”

Magnus sighed in frustration, her answer didn’t give him any clarity.

Luke, walking in front of them, mingled in the conversation. “How did they let Jace and Clary through? They’re not adults.”

“They weren’t supposed to go,” Helen said,  “But they went anyway. Alec and Isabelle wanted to follow but Jia and Robert stopped them.”

Magnus sucked in a breath as a profound relief filled him. Alec wasn’t in the battle, he wasn’t wounded, he was okay.

He saw the girl look at him, hearing his sharp intake of breath. “Are you okay?” she asked. “Wait, I know you. You’re that warlock Alec was dating.”

“How do you know that?” Magnus asked, irritated.

“My girlfriend, Aline, is a good friend of his.” Helen explained.

Magnus couldn’t care less. He remembered Aline from the party after the Mortal War. Those were good times and he didn’t want to think about the good times. They only made him miss Alec more. He was glad when they arrived at the square. Helen took Jocelyn with her inside the Basilias and he waited outside with Luke. Moments later Jocelyn arrived outside, carrying an unconscious Clary in her arms towards them.

Magnus saw her lips were blue and when he touched her arm she felt cold. “Her energy is dangerously low,” he diagnosed. “Come.”

He took a few steps to a quiet corner of the square and indicated Jocelyn to lay Clary down. He knelt down and moved his hands over her body, sensing her energy level. He carefully put his hand on her cheek, sending blue fire of healing into her.

Jocelyn and Luke were squatted down at Clary’s other side. “Simon,” Jocelyn said suddenly. Magnus looked up at her, she was looking at someone behind him. “Let him stay away,” he instructed.

Luke scrambled to his feet and went to the vampire boy. Magnus heard them talk behind him as he was carefully tracing his fingertips over Clary’s face. She was lying awfully still, and he was actually scared he wouldn’t be able to wake her up.

“Please,” he heard Simon say. “Let me—”

“Simon, no,” Magnus barked. “This is delicate—her energy is extremely low.”

“Shouldn’t she be in the Basilias?” Simon said. “Magnus—”

“Simon, _shut_ _up_ ,” Magnus said, irritated by the distraction. Luke drew Simon away and talked to him as Magnus focused once more on Clary. Slowly, very slowly he felt her energy level rise with every blue ember he send into her. He whispered a spell, giving her life force and then, finally, he felt her pulse speed up until her heartbeat was steady once more.

He sat back then and looked at Jocelyn. “She’s going to be okay,” he assured her. “Put her in bed and tell her to be more careful with her power. She’s throwing it away as if she has an endless supply.” He shook his head, feeling tired all of a sudden.

“I’m going now, I need some rest,” he said as he scrambled to his feet. He lifted Clary from the ground and handed her to Jocelyn. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the dinner.”

Jocelyn nodded, “Thank you, for helping her.”

“Anytime,” Magnus smiled at her. It was Clary after all, his little redheaded biscuit. How could he not?

Magnus walked away then, to the house appointed to the warlock representative. He considered going to the Inquisitors house instead, knowing Alec would be there, but something was keeping him. He was afraid. Afraid of what Alec might say, whether Alec would even be willing see him, to talk to him. He thought about what Alec had said to him the last time they saw each other.

_I’ve been sorry and I’ve understood and I’ve apologized and apologized, and you haven’t ever been there. I did all that without you. So it makes me wonder what else I could do, without you._

What else, indeed? Magnus didn’t think he could handle it if Alec decided he could do _everything_ else without him. So Magnus decided to wait it out. He felt he couldn’t live up to Alec’s expectations, he needed more courage and more clarity on what to say to him. He would first go to the dinner for the Downworld representatives. Meliorn of the faeries had invited the other representatives, Luke together with Jocelyn, Raphael and Magnus, for a dinner the night before the council meeting. And Magnus felt he could use some Dutch courage before going to see Alec. Maybe after this dinner he could go.

***

During the surprisingly elegant dinner, Magnus found he had trouble paying attention to what was said. He was nervous, knowing Alec was near, but still not near enough. He took another sip of the wine, which was surprisingly strong. _So much for Dutch courage_ , he thought, feeling a bit puny.

“Magnus?” said Luke, waving with his fork at him. “Are you paying attention?”

“What? Of course I am,” Magnus said, taking another sip of his wine. “I agree. One hundred percent.”

“Really,” Jocelyn said wryly. “You agree that the Downworlders should abandon the problem of Sebastian and his dark army and leave it to the Shadowhunters, as a Shadowhunter issue?”

“I told you he was not paying attention,” said Raphael.

Magnus had to agree with Raphael and told himself sternly to stop thinking about Alec and join in the conversation instead. He found it difficult to focus though and when he spoke up again, complimenting Luke on a speech he gave about uniting against evil, he found he was slurring his words. How did he get so drunk so fast? He must have been taking this Dutch courage idea too seriously. Yet, he got a nagging feeling it was more than that.

“What kind of wine is this?” he asked Meliorn.

“Does the vintage not please you, warlock?” Meliorn replied evasively.

“When faeries answer questions with questions,” Jocelyn said, while placing down her glass on the table, “it’s never a good sign.”

“Jocelyn—” Luke reached towards her, to put his hand on her wrist but he smacked the table instead. “What have you done, Meliorn?” he said slowly.

All Meliorn did was laugh, and Magnus knew there was something very wrong here. He struggled to his feet, the room was spinning. He knew he had to get away, he was swaying on his feet, trying to reach the door.

It opened and at the other side of it stood the Endarkened, Sebastian’s minions. Magnus turned away  from them, he felt his strength leaving him as he fell down. Then Meliorn appeared at his side. “Demon-fathered one,” he said. “Did you really think we would ever ally with your kind?”

Magnus breathed heavily, as darkness clouded his view. “The Fair Folk don’t lie,” he said.

“Child,” said Meliorn, “Not to know after all these years that deception can hide in plain sight? Oh, but you are an innocent, after all.”

Magnus knew. He had known that Sebastian Morgenstern had powerful allies. But he never had thought or expected the faeries to side with him. Now that he knew, it was too late. No chance to leave and search for Alec. All he could do was subside into darkness.

 


	62. Sophie's Choice

_Hang on when the water is rising_  
_Hang on when the waves are crashing_  
 _Hang on, just don't ever let go_

 _Hang on when you are barely breathing_  
_Hang on when your heart's still beating_  
 _Hang on, just don't ever let go_

  * Plumb, _Hang on_



* * *

####  _Alec_

The world was spinning. Alec pressed his hands against his temples, trying to control his breathing. Sebastian had come into Alicante. He’d been in the Council room, smearing it with Angels blood and then he went for Clary at Amatis’s house. Jace had fought him off and he and Clary were both okay and safely inside the Gard now. The Consul had send messages to the Downworlder representatives dinner to notify Luke and Jocelyn. But there came no answer. Alec felt a nagging uneasiness spreading through his body. Something was wrong, he couldn’t explain it completely, but he knew it, he felt it in his bones. Something had happened during that dinner.

Hours later another party of Shadowhunters went to the Faerie representative house and searched it. When they came back to the Gard their message cut through Alec like a knife. “No one’s there, it seems as if they’ve vanished from the face of the earth.”

 _Magnus_.

What happened? Where is he? It must have been Sebastian’s doing. He’d taken them, there could be no other explanation. How was this possible? The representatives house was guarded, they should have been safe. Magnus should have been safe. He wasn’t even supposed to be here, and now…

Now he was gone and Alec had no idea if he were still alive, if there was a chance he’d ever see him again. The idea of losing Magnus forever, even though they’d broken up, was so painful, it made it difficult for Alec to breath.

The Council came together in session to discuss the events. Alec was frustrated by how it was going. No one knew anything, Tracking them turned out to be impossible. There was nothing.

They were still in the middle of arguing their options when an Endarkened warrior appeared on the dais, seemingly out of nowhere. His arm thrown around a startled Jia, a knife pressed against her throat. “Nephilim,” his voice roared over the crowd, “stay where you are! Do not approach, or your Consul dies!”

Alec heard Aline screaming for her mother. He recognized the man as Matthias Gonzales from the Buenos Aires Institute. Matthias was yowling over the crowd, telling them Sebastian held the Downworld representatives as hostages and he wanted to exchange them for Clarissa Morgenstern and Jace Lightwood.

Even though Alec had known it, he still felt the truth hit him hard. Magnus was being held captive. And the only way to get him back was to lose Jace. Why was this happening?

He pressed his hand against his head and spoke to himself sternly. _Get your act together, Alec Lightwood_. _Hang on._

He knew that Jace was willing enough to go. Jace would do it for him, knowing how much he loved Magnus. But the idea of Jace going alone to Sebastian was not an option Alec was willing to consider. They had to go together, as parabatai.

Jace’s voice shouted through the room. “I will go, I will go willingly.”

“Jace, _no_ ,” Alec said, but his voice was drowned out by the noise.

Clary, too, started to walk forward. Simon, standing next to Alec tried to stop her. “Don’t.”

“He said both of us,” Alec heard her whisper. “If Jace goes to Sebastian without me, Sebastian will kill him.”

“He’ll kill you both anyway.” Isabelle said. “You can’t go, and Jace can’t either—Jace!”

Alec saw Jace turning towards them, reacting to Isabelle’s cry. He saw Clary struggling to get to him and mouthed to her, “No.”

At that point Alec’s father spoke up. “Give us time. Give us some time to cast a vote, at least.”

Matthias was still holding on to Jia but he took the knife from her throat and raised his arm. Alec didn’t hesitate but reached for an arrow and notched it in his bow, aiming at the knife.

“Time,” Matthias sneered. “Why should Sebastian give you time?”

Alec took meticulous aim and shot the arrow, it sang through the air and slammed into the knife. Matthias cried out and his hand was bleeding. Jia freed herself from his grasp and jumped off the dais. Jace, who was standing close by drew out a seraph blade, ready to attack Matthias. Alec saw the danger in Jace’s actions, and he shouted, dropped his bow, flung himself over the benches and, with a speed he didn’t know he had, he dived on top of Jace, knocking him to the ground just as the dais went up in flames.

Matthias wasn’t hurt by the fire. He stood behind the flames, laughing a terrifying laugh. “Two days, Nephilim! You have two days to decide your fate! And then you will all burn! You will burn in the fires of Hell, and the ashes of Edom will cover your bones!”

* * *

“Nice shot,” Jace said. They were in one of the rooms in the Gard, tending each other’s wounds after they’d stumbled off the stairs of the dais earlier.

“You don’t need to make fun of me,” Alec said sourly as he pressed his stele against Jace’s wrist.

“I’m not,” Jace protested, as Alec finished the _iratze_. “I’m not. You hit Matthias’s knife from halfway across an amphitheater. Clean shot, didn’t hit Jia at all. And he was moving around, too.”

“I was motivated.” Alec said, simply. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and sighed, feeling tired.

“Alec,” Jace said. “I’ll go. You know I’ll go.”

“You’re saying that like you think it’ll reassure me,” said Alec. “You think I want you to give yourself up to Sebastian? Are you crazy?”

“I think it might be the only way to get Magnus back.” Jace had his eyes closed as he said it. Alec winced.

“And you’re willing to barter Clary’s life too?” he asked him, his tone sharp. There was no winning in this awful game. Jace or Magnus. Was that the choice? It was impossible and Jace was being unreasonable, thinking he could go and sacrifice himself, but not Clary.

“No,” Jace said, he sounded defeated. “I couldn’t do that.”

“And I wouldn’t ask it,” said Alec, wanting badly for Jace to know that. “This—this is what Sebastian’s trying to do. Drive wedges between all of us, using the people we love as hooks to pull us apart. We shouldn’t let him.”

“When did you get so wise?” Jace asked.

Alec laughed shortly, without mirth. “The day I’m wise is the day you’re careful.”

“Maybe you’ve always been wise,” Jace said. “I remember when I asked if you wanted to be parabatai, and you said you needed a day to think about it. And then you came back and said yes, and when I asked you why you agreed to do it, you said it was because I needed someone to look after me. You were right. I never thought about it again, because I never had to. I had you, and you’ve always looked after me. Always.”

Alec frowned, knowing why Jace found it necessary to give him this speech now. “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t talk like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Alec said. “That’s how people talk when they think they’re going to die.”

* * *

The adults sent the whole group, Clary, Isabelle, Simon, Jace and Alec back to the Inquisitors house while they discussed Sebastian’s request. Alec was trying to get his act together when they got a strange visitor. The little Carstairs girl from the Los Angeles Institute came over to the house, telling them about Edom. Matthias had mentioned Edom. Everyone thought he meant it figuratively, but the Carstairs girl was adamant about it, it was a real place. When Sebastian attacked the Los Angeles Institute, she’d overheard him talking about it.

Edom.

A demon realm. Another dimension, not reachable for those on earth. Alec remembered Hodge teaching them about other dimensions and old magic. While they were discussing what to do, Jace said there was no way to get there.

 “Well, there is a way, I think,” said Alec. “A pathway that the Nephilim can’t close, because it lies outside the jurisdiction of our Laws. It’s old, older than Shadowhunters—old, wild magic.” He sighed. “It’s in the Seelie Court, and it is guarded by the Fair Folk. No human being has set foot on that pathway in more than a hundred years.”

They discussed their options. Jace asked Clary if she could make a Portal to the Seelie Court.

“Yes,” Clary answered. “That I could do—I’ve been there; I remember it. But would we be safe? We haven’t been invited, and the Fair Folk don’t like incursions into their territory—”

“There’s no ‘we,’ ” Jace said. “None of you are coming. I’m going to do this alone.”

Anger flared up inside of Alec, and he jumped up and shouted at Jace. “I knew it, I bloody knew it, and absolutely not! Not a chance!”

Jace tensed and stared at him. “Since when do you say ‘bloody’?”

“Since the situation bloody warrants it.” Alec spat, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jace looked around, he sounded almost pleading when he said, “I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Yeah, well, none of us want anything to happen to us either,” said Simon. “But think ahead; what happens if you go and we stay? Sebastian wants Clary, wants her more than he wants you, and he can find her here in Alicante. Nothing’s stopping him from coming again except a promise that he’ll wait two days, and what are his promises worth? He could come for any of us at any time; he proved that with the Downworld representatives. We’re sitting ducks here. Better to go where he isn’t expecting or looking for us.”

Alec was glad that Simon was able to actually make a very good point. He felt more than frustrated, and his voice sounded cold when he said to Jace, “I will not hang back here in Alicante while Magnus is in danger. Go without me, and you disrespect our parabatai oaths, you disrespect me as a Shadowhunter, and you disrespect the fact that this is my battle too.”

“Alec,” Jace said, shock palpable in his voice. Alec saw he was unhinged by his words. “I would never disrespect our oaths. You’re one of the best Shadowhunters I know—”

“Which is why we come with you,” said Isabelle. “You need us. You need Alec and me to back you up the way we always have. You need Clary’s rune powers and Simon’s vampire strength. This isn’t just your fight. If you respect us as Shadowhunters and as your friends—all of us—then we go with you. It’s that simple.”

“I know,” Jace said, softly. “I know I need you.”

Alec saw him looking at Clary, it was so similar to the way he looked at Magnus. The realization made his heart hurt, but he was glad they were actually doing something. Not hanging back in Alicante like sitting ducks. But leaving for Edom. Going through the Seelie Court to search for the road to hell.

Where Magnus was.

Alec was prepared to do anything, anything it took, to get him back.

“Thank you,” Jace said, to no one in particular. “Okay. Everyone get into gear, and pack bags. Pack for overland travel: water, what food you can grab, extra steles, blankets. And you,” he added to Simon, “you might not need food, but if you have bottled blood, bring it. There might not be anything you can . . . eat where we’re going.”

“There’s always the four of you,” Simon said.

“All right,” Alec said. “Everyone meet back here in ten minutes. Clary, get ready to create a Portal. And Jace?”

“Yes?”

“You’d better have a strategy for what we’re going to do when we get to the Faerie Court. Because we’re going to need it.”

* * *

Clary made a portal to the Seelie Court and they arrived just outside the Queen’s chambers, behind a curtain made of thorns, eaves dropping on her conversation. She was talking to Meliorn.

To _Meliorn._

How was that possible? Meliorn was taken by Sebastian with the other representatives. Alec tensed as he pricked up his ears, listening in on the conversation.

“Very well, Meliorn,” the Queen said, “What did you wish to speak of? Is it news of the Downworld prisoners?”

Alec sucked in his breath, and it made too much noise. Meliorn looked up and straight at them. “If I do not mistake myself,” he said, as he reached for his blade, “my lady, we have visitors—”

As if on cue they all surged forward into the throne room. Jace in the front, a seraph blade outstretched. Alec had his bow in the ready and took an arrow, ready to let it fly if necessary.

The Queen hissed when she saw them and spoke, her tone indignant. “How dare you enter the Court unbidden? This is the highest of crimes, a breaking of Covenant Law—”

“How dare you speak of breaking Covenant Law!” Jace shouted, Alec could tell how angry he was at the Seelies betrayal. “You, who have murdered, and lied, and taken Downworlders of the Council prisoner. You have allied yourself with evil forces, and you will pay for it.”

“The Queen of the Seelie Court does not pay,” said the Queen.

“Everyone pays,” Jace said, as he moved forward to the divan, his blade against her throat. “How did you do it?” he demanded. “Meliorn swore that you were on the side of the Nephilim. Faeries can’t lie. That’s why the Council trusted you—”

“Meliorn is half-faerie. He can lie,” said the Queen, amused, despite the blade at her throat. “Sometimes the simplest answer is the correct one, Shadowhunter.”

“That’s why you wanted him on the Council,” said Clary, “Because he can lie.”

“A betrayal long-planned.” Jace was breathing hard. “I should cut your throat right now.”

“You would not dare,” said the Queen. “If you touch the Queen of the Seelie Court, the Fair Folk will be ranged against you for all time.”

Jace’s eyes were burning, he looked like an avenging angel. “Then what are you now?” he demanded. “We heard you. You spoke of Sebastian as an ally. The Adamant Citadel lies on ley lines. Ley lines are the province of the fey. You led him there, you opened the way, you let him ambush us. How are you not already ranged against us?”

“You may have heard us speaking, little Nephilim,” Meliorn said. “But if we kill you before you return to the Clave to tell your tales, none others need ever know—”

Alec turned his bow on him and aimed the arrow at his leg. He let it fly and Meliorn cried out as he fell, bleeding on the ground. Alec grabbed another arrow from his quiver while walking towards him, he notched it and stood over the Faerie knight. “Tell us how to get Magnus—how to get the prisoners back,” he said. “Do it, or I’ll turn you into a pincushion.”

He felt an ice cold determination taken a hold of him, he knew he needed it to keep it together, to keep his head straight and his mind from wandering and worrying.

“I will tell you nothing,” Meliorn spat. “Torture me, kill me, I shall not betray my Queen.”

“It doesn’t matter what he says, anyway,” said Isabelle. “He can lie, remember?”

“True,” Alec said as the ice encased his heart. He didn’t feel anything when he said  “Die, then, liar.” And he let the arrow fly into Meliorn’s chest. The impact made the faerie slide back into the snow that covered the floor of the throne room.

The red of his blood mingled with the white snow as Meliorn’s head hit the wall with a smack. Alec regarded it with a detachment, as if he were watching a particularly boring movie. The Queen cried out and her cry was followed by the sound of faeries shouting, running towards the throne room.

But Clary was faster, calling Simon to lift her up and she scrawled a rune over the archway, closing off the room, trapping the Queen inside with them.

“Jace,” Alec said then, turning to him. “Tell the Queen what we want, and that if she does it, we will let her live.”

“Little archer boy,” the Queen laughed as she regarded him. “I underestimated you. Sharp are the arrows of a broken heart.”

Alec narrowed his eyes at her, feeling a great contempt for the woman. “You underestimated all of us; you always have. You and your arrogance. The Fair Folk are an old people, a good people. You aren’t fit to lead them. Under your rule they will all wind up like this,” he said and he indicated Meliorn with his head.

“You are the one who killed him,” said the Queen, “not I.”

“Everyone pays,” Alec said, staring her down.

“We desire the safe return of the hostages Sebastian Morgenstern has taken,” said Jace.

The Queen spread her hands. “They are not in this world, nor here in Faerie, nor in any land over which I have jurisdiction. There is nothing I can do to help you rescue them, nothing at all.”

“Very well,” said Jace. “There is one other thing you can do, one thing you can show us, that will make me spare you.”

“What is that, Shadowhunter?”

“The road to the demon realm of Edom,” said Jace. “We want safe passage to it. We will walk it, and walk our way out of your kingdom.”

“Very well,” said the Queen. “I will lead you to the road to the demon realm.”

She stood up and left the room, the group of Shadowhunters following her to a tunnel. To the road to Edom, the road to hell.

They had to walk through a tunnel which ended in a whirlpool of darkness. Shadows were moving in it. At the edge between the worlds the group came to a halt as they stared into the vortex.

Alec stared at the moving shadows. “This,” he stated, “is the craziest thing we’ve ever done.”

“What if we can’t ever come back?” Isabelle whispered, next to him.

“Then at least we’ll be together,” Clary said. Alec saw her reach out to take both Jace’s and Simon’s hands, holding on to them. “We go through together, and on the other side we stay together. All right?”

Alec took Jace’s other hand and in a straight line they stepped forward into the shadows.

_We’re entering Edom. To get them back, to get Magnus back…_

_I can’t and I won’t live without him._

* * *

All hope abandon ye who enter here.

  * Dante, Inferno, Canto III, line 9




	63. In Alec's Vision

_Midway upon the journey of our life_

_I found myself within a forest dark_

_For the straightforward pathway had been lost_

_I cannot well repeat how there I entered,_

_So full was I of slumber at the moment_

_In which I had abandoned the true way_

  * Dante, Inferno, Canto 1, lines 1-3, 10-12



* * *

####  _Magnus_

Magnus was having trouble keeping his eyes open. When he woke up he found himself in a circular cell, surrounded by Endarkened Shadowhunters, who had chained him to the floor. Luke was there, and Raphael. There was no sign of Jocelyn. As soon as the Endarkened disappeared Luke had started shouting for her.

Magnus was lying flat on the ground now, wishing for Luke to stop, it was pointless anyway. He knew Sebastian kept Jocelyn somewhere else. She was leverage, for Clary. As to the three of them, he had no clue what they were to Sebastian. Toys to dispose of, maybe?

He felt the blood soar hot through his veins, the prickling beginning of fever, and he knew what it meant. They weren’t on earth anymore. They were in another dimension, and not just any dimension. This was his father’s dimension. The dimension of one of the fallen Angels, Lucifer’s right hand, Magnus’s father. Asmodeus.

Asmodeus was as evil as the devil himself and almost as powerful. Magnus had summoned him once and paid for that dearly. He’d sworn to himself he was never going to do that again. But now he was in Edom. And his father ruled here. This was a huge problem. Obviously his father knew he was there, and there was no telling what he’d do to try to persuade Magnus to call on him again. Magnus already felt it, this dimension was slowly, but relentlessly killing him.

He couldn’t keep his eyes open and he told himself that he shouldn’t try. There was nothing here to see, anyway. He gave into the feeling of tiredness and heaviness and let sleep carry him away.

* * *

 

_The Hall of Accords was filled with people and decorated with blue banners. Each of them was gilded with the Lightwood Symbol. Magnus looked at his own hand where he saw the ring Alec had gotten him for his birthday. The swirling lines edged in the silver almost exactly the same as the symbol on the banners. He looked to his right and was not surprised to find Alec sitting next to him. He looked stunning, in a tailored suit with a blue tie. He sat in a higher chair than Magnus himself, and looked extremely happy. At the other side of him, Magnus noticed the rest of the Lightwood family. All of them, including Max, smiling happily up at Alec._

_Magnus recognized Jia Penhallow walking up to their table and Robert took her arm, beaming with pride,_   _“My son,” he said to her, “My son won the battle; that’s my son up there. Lightwood blood will tell; our family have always been fighters.”_

_“Save it for the speech, Robert,” she said, winking._

_“Oh, God, the speech,” Alec said, and he hid his face in his hands. Magnus reached out a hand and rubbed Alec’s spine. He saw Jace looking over at them._

_“As if we all haven’t been in a room full of people telling us how amazing we are before,” Jace said grinning. “Ah, just me, then.”_

_“Leave my boyfriend alone,” Magnus said. “I know spells that could turn your ears inside out.”_

_At that point Robert stood up, clinking his glass, and started a speech for Alec’s sake. He told the room how Alec had defeated Sebastian and how proud he was of him. He ended the story with saying that Alec was engaged to be married to his partner, Magnus Bane._

_Everyone started clapping and Magnus waved at the crowd  with his fork. He looked over at Alec, whose cheeks were burning an adorable red, yet Magnus felt as if something was off._

_"Congratulations,” Jace said. “I kind of feel like I missed an opportunity.”_

_“W-what?” Alec stammered._

_Jace shrugged. “I always knew you had a crush on me, and I kind of had a crush on you, too. I thought you should know.”_

_“What?” Alec said again._

_Clary mingled in the conversation at that point. “You know,” she said, “do you think there’s any chance that you two could . . .It would be kind of hot.”_

_“No,” Magnus said. “I am a very jealous warlock.”_

_It was at that_ point that he realized what was off. This wasn’t his dream. Magnus had known it was a dream from the first second he was in it. But he only realized now that he was in someone else’s dream. He was in his father’s dimension and his father sometimes gave him true dreams, but also the possibility to be aware in someone else’s dream. It made Magnus capable of interrupting and changing the dream.

It had happened only once or twice in his life, so it took him awhile before he realized it, but this was Alec’s dream. And not just a dream. It was a sort of vision, a glamour to keep Alec from whatever was going on in his life now.

For all Magnus knew Alec was in Alicante, but this kind of dream told him otherwise. He was somewhere where a dream demon was able to possess him. Magnus considered the fact that Alec could be here, in Edom. Looking for him. It would be ridiculous, but not impossible. Because where Alec was, there were Jace and Clary as well. And they were in the middle of what was going on. Everything connected to them. And Jace and Clary would move heaven and hell to stop Sebastian.

So yes, it was likely that Alec had entered Edom and encountered a demon who was guarding the entrance. And if that was true, then Alec had to be freed from the vision. He had to break free and Magnus had to help him do that.

He looked _at Alec now, who was chiding his sister, who proposed a winter wedding with six hundred guests. “You have a lot of fans,” she shrugged._

_“Oh, for God’s sake,” Magnus said, and snapped his fingers in front of Alec’s face. “THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.”_

_“What?” Alec stared._

_“It’s a hallucination,” Magnus said, “brought on by your entry into the demon realms. Probably a demon that lurks near the entrance to the world and feeds on the dreams of travelers. Wishes have a lot of power. Especially the deepest wishes of our hearts.”_

_Alec stared at him wide eyed and then looked around the room. “This is the deepest wish of my heart?”_

_“Sure,” Magnus said. “Your father, proud of you. You, the hero of the hour. Me, loving you. Everyone approving of you.”_

_Alec looked over at Jace. “Okay, what about the Jace thing?”_

_Magnus shrugged. “I don’t know. That part’s just weird.”_

_“So I have to wake up.” Alec said and he put his hands on the table, staring at them. Magnus felt proud at him, as he tried to break away from the demon’s hold on him. He saw realization dawn in Alec’s eyes._

_“Max,” he whispered._

_“I’m sorry,” Magnus said. “The wishes of our hearts are weapons that can be used against us. Fight, Alec.”_

_He reached up a hand and touched Alec’s face. “This isn’t what you want, this dream. Demons don’t understand human hearts, not well. They see as through a distorted glass and show you what you desire, but warped and wrong. Use that wrongness to push yourself out of the dream. Life is loss, Alexander, but it’s better than this.”_

_“God,” Alec said, and closed his eyes. There was so much hurt in that one word. And Magnus felt the crack as the dream was breaking apart and Alec was setting himself free. Disappearing rapidly._

* * *

 

Magnus was aware again of the cold floor beneath him and he opened his eyes. He was still in the circular cell. He closed his eyes again, thinking about Alec. _Fight, Alec._ He felt a pang in his chest for worry. He didn’t know it for sure, but he was almost certain that Alec was here, in Edom. He was so scared for him. Why did Alec need to be parabatai with someone like Jace, this unstoppable force and magnet for trouble? Why did Alec felt the need to go to Edom, knowing it might cost him his life? Magnus sighed deeply, afraid that he himself might be part of the answer. Alec probably knew he was there, Sebastian had notified the Clave and had asked for Clary and Jace in return for him and the other Downworlders. And Alec, he’d heard that and hadn’t thought, but just thrown himself into the thick of things.

Magnus opened his eyes again and sat up. The chains around his wrist long enough for that, but not long enough for him to stand. Luke was standing at the window, staring. Raphael eyed him from the bench on which he sat. “What’s wrong? You look pale.”

“Nothing,” Magnus said, not wanting to say anything about the probability of Alec and the others being in Edom. “You think you can free me from this?” he asked, indicating the chains.

“I can try,” Raphael shrugged and walked over, yanking at the chain connected to Magnus’s right hand.

“Please don’t rip my hand off,” Magnus said, “I like that hand. I _need_ that hand.”


	64. And to a Place I Come Where Nothing Shines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: chapter title is a line from Dante's Inferno

I came into a place mute of all light

    Which bellows as the sea does in a tempest

    If by opposing winds ‘tis combated

 

The infernal hurricane that never rests

    Hurtles the spirits onwards in its rapine

    Whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them

  *  Dante, Inferno, Canto V, lines 28-33



* * *

####  _Alec_

After Alec killed the demon that guarded the entrance and sent them visions, the group started their trek through the barren wasteland of Edom. When night fell, it was obvious they had to find a place to rest and hide from the many demons that hushed through the air. They stumbled upon a cave, with entrances barred with gates. Jace opened the gate with his stele and they entered, cautiously.

They walked through the tunnel until they came into a large open space. Several other tunnels also led to the cavern. Everywhere in the tunnels and in the cave were runes scrawled. Nephilim runes, of protection and guarding.

“I think this was a place to hide,” Alec said, almost whispering, not wanting to make too much noise. “Some sort of last barricade where whoever lived here once would be safe from the demons.”

“Whoever lived here once knew rune magic,” Clary said. “I don’t recognize them all, but I can feel what they mean. They’re holy runes, like Raziel’s.”

Jace slung his pack off his shoulders and let it slide to the ground. “We’re sleeping here tonight.”

Alec felt dubious about the idea. “Are you sure that’s safe?”

“We’ll scout the tunnels,” Jace said. “Clary, come with me. Isabelle, Simon, take the east corridor. Well, we’re going to call it the east corridor. Here’s hoping this is still accurate in the demon realms.” He tapped the compass rune on his forearm as he said it.

Isabelle took two seraph blades and nodded, “Fine.”

Alec regarded her and didn’t feel entirely comfortable with the idea of Isabelle going off with Simon into some dark space in a hell dimension.

“I’ll go with you,” he said.

“If you must,” said Isabelle, shrugging. “I should warn you we’ll be making out in the dark. Big, sloppy make-outage.”

Simon looked startled. “We are—” he began, but Isabelle stomped on his toe, and he quieted.

“ ‘Make-outage’?” said Clary. “Is that a word?”

At the idea of Isabelle with the vampire, Alec felt nauseous. “I suppose I could stay here.”

“Make a fire,” Jace said to him, throwing him a stele. “Cook us a pie or something. This demon-hunting is hungry work.”

Alec squatted down moodily. “Make a fire, cook a pie,” he muttered. “Wouldn’t you like it if you woke up in the morning with all your hair shaved off.”

He saw Jace grin at Clary and they turned to the west-facing tunnel. As they walked away Alec couldn’t help but yell after them, “And your eyebrows, too!”

Alec investigated the packs they’d taken with them from Alicante and laid out some food. Bread and chocolate, fruit and granola bars. He took a bottle of wine out of his own backpack, opened it and started drinking right from the bottle.

He was alone now, which he dreaded. Because being alone gave him time to think and wallow in unhappiness. More than unhappiness. The anger, the pain and most of all the constant fear had left him worn out and cold. He’d killed that faerie knight, Meliorn, without blinking. It was very unlike him, he hardly recognized himself anymore.

It felt as if ice had covered his heart, leaving him frozen and unfeeling, his mind set on the task before him without allowing himself to wander.

But now, with the alcohol coursing through his body, and nothing to distract him, he felt the ice melt, and in its place an ache, so deep that he could hardly breath.

_Magnus. Where are you? Are you still alive?_

He pictured him now, worn out, beaten, tortured by Sebastian, and Alec shivered. He felt so helpless and so furious. He had to fight back the urge to scream against the walls of this enormous empty space.

He stared into the fire, feeling dazed from fear and alcohol, and finally laid down to close his eyes. Sleep came and with it the dreams of his heart.

* * *

 

_“Alexander?” Magnus’s voice rang through the night and Alec opened his eyes to see the love of his life hovering over him. Magnus reached down and caressed his cheek. “Are you okay?”_

_Alec frowned, not quite knowing where he was or how to answer that question. “Where are we? Why are you here?”_

_He sat up and looked around. He was lying in a meadow, grass, daisies and dandelions all around him. The trees were standing tall, their branches waving in a soft spring breeze._

_“I took you to my happy place,” Magnus smiled at him._

_“This is your happy place?” Alec looked at his boyfriend incredulously, “It’s not what I expected.”_

_“No?” Magnus raised his eyebrows, “Why not? Too much nature?”_

_“I guess so, yes. I always saw you more as an indoor guy,” Alec confessed, “You know, sitting on a large sofa, surrounded by a dozen cats.”_

_Magnus laughed, “I do miss the Chairman. But right around the corner is the best Chinese take-out New York has to offer. I guess that’s a reason I like this place. Plus, it’s quiet here. A good place to make out.”_

_He leaned in and kissed Alec softly on the mouth. Alec closed his eyes and reveled in the softness and the warmth Magnus brought him. He slid is hands around Magnus’s neck and pulled him closer. Magnus parted his lips and Alec’s tongue raked over his teeth, swirling around Magnus’s tongue. Magnus gasped and hummed against Alec’s mouth. This… to be here in the grass in the sun kissing Magnus, this must be what heaven’s like, Alec thought._

_He broke off the kiss and caressed Magnus’s face, his cat eyes were shining golden. “So, we’re in Central Park?” Alec stated._

_Magnus nodded slowly. But then the smile suddenly left his face and he looked incredibly sad._

_“I wanted to let you know_ − _” Magnus’s voice broke._

_“What is it?” Alec put his hand on Magnus’s. “What’s wrong, Magnus?”_

_“I love you,” Magnus whispered and he leaned in again and pressed his lips against Alec’s. Alec wrapped his arms around the warlock and pressed him close._

_“I love you,” Magnus repeated, murmuring against his lips. “Fight, Alec. Don’t give up.”_

_He broke away from Alec then but Alec tightened his grip on him. “Don’t go.”_

_“I have to go,” Magnus whispered, “But come for me. I’m right here waiting for you.”_

_Magnus pulled back and Alec let go of him, reluctantly. “Magnus?”_

_The warlock locked eyes with him, his eyes were shining with what seemed like unshed tears._

_“I love you, too.” Alec said._

* * *

 

He woke up then, hearing the boots of Jace and Clary, returning from their patrol. He sighed deeply, burying his face in his hands for a second when he realized it was just a dream. It wasn’t real. They weren’t in New York, but in Edom. And yet, it had felt so real. It was as if Magnus knew he was in Alec’s dream, as if he’d been aware of it.

If that were true, Alec thought, then Magnus knew Alec was here looking for him, and if he knew, then it meant he was still alive. Alec wondered if he was going mad. There was no such thing as other people being aware in your dreams, it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He hardened his heart then, trying to conjure up the ice that had melted away earlier.

“I did not make a pie,” he said aloud while Jace and Clary entered the large central chamber of the cave.

“I did not make a pie,” Alec repeated, gesturing with his hand, “for three reasons. One, because I do not have any pie ingredients. Two, because I don’t actually know how to make a pie.”

He paused and looked up at Jace, who removed his sword and stared at him cautiously. “And three?”

“Because I am not your bitch,” Alec said.

 

 


	65. Abashed the Devil Stood and Felt How Awful Goodness Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from Milton's Paradise

####  _Magnus_

Magnus had visited Alec in his dreams, telling him he loved him, asking him to fight. He could sense Alec’s fear and desperation and he hoped the dream would give Alec the courage he needed to come to him. He also hoped he’d still be alive when that moment came, he was feeling worse by the hour. How far would his father go, he wondered, to make him beg for his help. Magnus was determined to not give in to him, some things were worse than dying.

When he awoke from seeing Alec, Luke brought Alec up, and Magnus had snapped at him, not wanting to talk about or think about Alec. Of course all he did was think about Alec. Especially now that he knew Alec was in Edom, or at least, he thought he was here.

Magnus was scared he was going to die, the odds weren’t in his favor. But on top of that was a constant fear for Alec and what was going to happen to him. _I need you to live._ He thought back at that last thing he’d said to him, the last time he saw him. Magnus thought he could handle the idea of dying himself, even though he didn’t want to die. But he couldn’t bear it if Alec died.

“Shadowhunters,” he said out loud, more to himself than to Luke, while fiddling with his chains. “They get in your blood, under your skin. I’ve been with vampires, werewolves, faeries, warlocks like me—and humans, so many fragile humans. But I always told myself I wouldn’t give my heart to a Shadowhunter. I’ve so nearly loved them, been charmed by them—generations of them, sometimes: Edmund and Will and James and Lucie . . . the ones I saved and the ones I couldn’t.” His voice choked off, he felt so scared and so sad and thinking back at all the memories made him ache for Alec even more. 

“And Clary, too, I loved, for I watched her grow up,” he continued softly, “But I’ve never been in love with a Shadowhunter, not until Alec. For they have the blood of angels in them, and the love of angels is a high and holy thing.”

“Is that so bad?” Luke asked.

Magnus shrugged. “Sometimes it comes down to a choice,” he said. “Between saving one person and saving the whole world. I’ve seen it happen, and I’m selfish enough to want the person who loves me to choose me. But Nephilim will always choose the world. I look at Alec and I feel like Lucifer in Paradise Lost. ‘Abashed the Devil stood, And felt how awful goodness is.’ He meant it in the classic sense. ‘Awful’ as in inspiring awe. And awe is well and good, but it’s poison to love. Love has to be between equals.”

“He’s just a boy,” said Luke. Magnus looked up at him and saw him shake his head slightly. “Alec—he’s not perfect. And you’re not fallen.”

“We’re all fallen,” said Magnus. He buried his head in his arms then, and fell silent. His yearning for Alec was getting stronger and stronger and he felt he would start to cry if Alec wouldn’t come soon and touch him. He’d die if Alec never touched him again.

 _He’s just a boy_ , Luke had said. But Luke had no clue, Luke didn’t know Alec like he did. Otherwise he’d knew that Alec was so much more than just a boy. Maybe not perfect, but close to perfect. Beautiful and steady and strong. With the truest heart and the strongest faith in people.

 _Why?_ Magnus thought, _why did I break up with him?_ It was the stupidest thing he’d ever done, and Magnus had done a lot of stupid things over the centuries. Now he was going to die and the whole immortality problem was a non issue because of that. And he wouldn’t have a chance to go back to Alec. No chance to ask him to love him. To choose him. He thought about what Catarina had said. _If that’s how you feel about him, you should be with him._

It wasn’t that easy. Alec had expectations now. He was right, when he’d said Magnus had been unfair, to tell him he couldn’t ask him any questions. Alec had asked him to change, to open up to him. And now that Magnus realized he should’ve never let him go, it was too late. He nudged at the notebook in his pocket, he had brought it with him to Idris. In it he’d written a part of his life and he intended to write more. He started it without knowing why, but now it dawned on him what the purpose was of writing it all down. It was so he could give it to Alec to show him that he was willing to share his life with him. But that too, was too late. Because even if he was willing to open up to Alec, he didn’t see the opportunity, the possibility of both of them coming out of here alive.

And even if they did make it out alive, who was to say Alec would take him back?

_I’ve been sorry and I’ve understood and I’ve apologized and apologized, and you haven’t ever been there. I did all that without you. So it makes me wonder what else I could do, without you._

Alec’s words came screaming back to him now. What else could he do without him? Live?


	66. This Is Me in Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these chapters are short and have a lot of CoHF dialogue copied in them. But I need to paint the picture of how both Alec and Magnus are doing in this trying time. So bear with me please. We need to go through this valley of darkness. The reunion will follow. But the road to redemption is never easy.

####  _**Alec** _

Isabelle and Simon had returned from their patrol, too and announced that the east corridor needed a watch since the door was broken.

“I’ll do it,” Alec said, standing up. “I’m not going to sleep anyway.”

“Me neither.” Jace scrambled to his feet. “Besides, someone should keep you company.”

Alec took his bow and started off toward the east corridor. He heard Jace behind him following him. He already felt sorry for snapping at him, he knew Jace hated it when Alec was angry with him. And he wasn’t angry with him, he just had trouble with the ice. He wanted it back, to feel nothing, but it wasn’t working anymore. Stupid wine, alcohol was never a solution.

He reached the end of the tunnel and settled against the rocks on the slope near the entrance. Jace sat down beside him.

“Are you going to talk?” Jace asked. “Or is this one of those times where you’re mad at me so you don’t say anything?”

“I’m not mad at you,” Alec said, tapping his fingers against the wood of his bow. 

“I thought you might be,” Jace said. “If I’d agreed to look for shelter, I wouldn’t have been attacked. I put us all in danger—”

Alec took a deep breath, trying to keep himself under the tight control Jace always showed. He wished, not for the first time in his life that he’d be more like Jace. Hard like iron. “We knew the risks we were taking coming here with you. We signed up to die,” he said, “I mean, obviously I’d rather survive. But we all chose.”

“The first time you saw me,” Jace said, “I bet you didn’t think, He’s going to get me killed.”

“The first time I saw you, I wished you’d go back to Idris.” Alec confessed. He felt Jace staring at him, shocked, and he shrugged. “You know I don’t like change.”

“I grew on you, though,” Jace stated confidently.

“Eventually,” Alec agreed. “Like moss, or a skin disease.”

“You love me.” Jace said. “You think we should have left a note for Maryse and Robert?”

Alec couldn’t help but laugh at the mention of his parents. “I think they’ll figure out where we went. Eventually. Maybe I don’t care if dad ever figures it out.” Alec threw his head back and sighed. “Oh, God, I’m a cliché. Why do I care? If dad decides he hates me because I’m not straight, he’s not worth the pain, right?”

“Don’t look at me,” said Jace. “My adoptive father was a mass murderer. And I still worried about what he thought. It’s what we’re programmed to do. Your dad always seemed pretty great by comparison.”

“Sure, he likes you,” said Alec. “You’re heterosexual and have low expectations of father figures.”

“I think they’ll probably put that on my gravestone. ‘He Was Heterosexual and Had Low Expectations.’ ”

Alec smiled, it felt forced, where he usually smiled at Jace’s jokes so easily.

“Are you sure you’re not mad?” Jace asked, he knew him too well to be fooled. “You seem kind of mad.”

But apparently not well enough to really understand Alec’s behavior. Didn’t he know, didn’t he understand that Alec’s heart was more than broken? Alec looked up at the sky. “Not everything is about you,” he said impatiently.

“If you’re not doing okay, you should tell me,” Jace said. “We’re all under stress, but we have to keep it together as much as we—”

 _By the Angel_ , Alec thought, Jace could be so incredibly blind sometimes. He whirled on him now. “Doing okay? How would you be doing?” he demanded, his voice filled with fear and anger. “How would you be doing if it were Clary that Sebastian had taken? If it were her we were going to rescue, not knowing if she was dead or alive? How would you be doing?”

Jace stared at him, incredulous, not used to Alec yelling at him. “I—I would be in pieces.”

Alec scrambled to his feet and stared over the land, the pain overwhelming him, almost doubling his vision. “This,” he said, gesturing toward himself as he stood, rigid with tension. “This is me in pieces.”

“Alec—”

“I’m not like you,” Alec said, he was stammering now, feeling vulnerable. “I—I am not able to create the perfect facade at all times. I can tell jokes, I can try, but there are limits. I can’t—”

Jace went to stand beside him. “But you don’t have to create a facade,” he said. “You don’t have to pretend. You can—”

“I can break down? We both know that’s not true. We need to hold it together, and all those years I watched you, I watched you hold it together, I watched you after you thought your father died, I watched you when you thought Clary was your sister, I watched you, and this is how you survived, so if I have to survive, then I’m going to do the same thing.”

“But you’re not like me,” Jace said, slowly. “You’re better.”


	67. When Things Get Worse

####  _Magnus_

“You must tell us, warlock,” Raphael’s voice sounded blurred, “if there is something that we can do for you. I have not seen you so sick.”

Magnus shook his head. His eyes closed. He had difficulty thinking straight. He knew his father was doing this to him, making him sick so he’d call on him. He wondered how much longer he could last. He conjured up the beautiful face of Alexander Lightwood in his mind’s eye. He no longer fought the urge not to think about him. If he were dying, let Alec be on his mind then. His beautiful blue eyes shining, his mouth quirked up in a smile, that little lopsided grin that was so cute. Of course he was wearing an awful gray hoodie and a simple pair of blue jeans underneath. How was it possible that someone so gorgeous could buy such ugly clothes. "I don't care about clothes," was what Alec would say and then he'd shrugged. Magnus loved that about him. Truth be told, he loved everything about him.

* * *

####  _Alec_

“Izzy, please. Not after Max. Izzy, please, stay with me.” Alec buried his head in his sister’s hair. She was still unconscious. The demon had sliced her leg to shreds. Clary was able to portal them back to the cave where they’d spend the previous night. But even though they were relatively safe there, there was still no way to heal Isabelle. The healing runes faded into her skin as soon as they set the stele on her. Nothing seemed to help and Alec could feel the life seeping out of her. His sister.

She was the woman he loved most in his life, and he knew he’d never love another woman like he would love her. And he couldn’t lose her. He’d made his peace with dying himself in this cruel and haggard land. He’d sacrifice himself for the others if necessary. But why did Isabelle have to pay the price now? Alec was despairing.

Isabelle gasped as Clary tried another iratze. It didn’t work. “I can’t do it,” Clary whispered. “I can’t make one strong enough.”

“It’s not you; it’s the poison,” Jace said. “Demon poison. In her blood. Sometimes runes can’t help.”

“Try again,” Alec said, he felt his eyes burning as Isabelle trembled in his arms, her breath came in rasps. “With the iratze. Or with a new rune; you could create a rune—”

Jace fell on his knees beside him as Simon suddenly pushed him away. “Move,” he said harshly. It rubbed Alec the wrong way.  

“Leave her alone,” Alec snarled at him. “You’re not her family, vampire—”

“No,” Simon said, “I’m not.” And his fangs snapped out, and he tore open his own wrists, and let his blood drip into Isabelle’s leg.

 “What . . . are . . . you . . . doing?” Alec ground out between his teeth, but Jace flung up a hand, his eyes on Simon.

“Let him,” Jace said, almost in a whisper. “It can work, I’ve heard of it working. . . .”

And it did. By the Angel it did. The wound started to knit itself together. The venom of vampire blood was healing her. Alec stared down into his sisters face as her eyes fluttered open and she stared at him and then at Simon, still bend over her leg. Simon didn’t seem to notice as he lifted his mouth to his other wrist, to add more blood on her wound. Alec felt Isabelle move as she sat up against Alec’s chest. “Simon, no!” she said.

Relief flooded through Alec like a wave as he tightened his arm around her. Clary drew Simon away then as both Jace and he hovered over Isabelle.

“Izzy, Izzy,” he whispered, pulling her hair back from her face. “How do you feel?”

Jace sat down at his side and took her hand. “It was my fault,” he said softly, “I’m so sorry.”

Isabelle waved him away as she sacked against Alec. “It’s okay, Jace.”

“You should get some sleep,” Alec said, “Lie down. Jace, get a blanket, and an extra sweater for me, please? It’s freezing cold here.”

Jace got up to get a sweater and a blanket from one of the packs. He handed them to Alec and started making a fire. Alec wrapped the blanket tightly but carefully around his sister, before laying her head in his lap. Then he put on the sweater and softly he stroked his hand over her forehead. He remembered suddenly how Magnus would move his hand over his forehead and his eyelids, and how immense calming and peaceful that had felt. He repeated that movement now with his sister. Her eyes fluttered shut as he stroked her softly, and within minutes her breathing evened out and she was asleep.

Clary and Jace went to check the tunnels as Alec stared into the flames. Simon was sitting at the other side of the fire, not saying anything.

“Thanks,” Alec finally said.

Simon startled, “For what?”

“Saving my sister,” said Alec. “I know... I mean, I knew, when we came here, that this could be a suicide mission. I know it’s dangerous. I know I can’t really expect us all to survive. But I thought it would be me, not Izzy. . . .”

“Why?” Simon said, seemingly surprised.

“Because I’d rather it was me,” Alec said. “She’s—Isabelle. She’s smart and tough and a good fighter. Better than me. She deserves to be all right, to be happy.”

They talked a little more, about having sisters and what they’d do to someone who’d made their sister unhappy. Then Clary and Jace returned. Isabelle was sound asleep. But Simon suddenly doubled over in pain. Healing Isabelle had made him weak from blood loss and it turned out his food supply was gone, too. Alec thought back at the joke Simon had made back in Alicante. _There’s always you four._

Isabelle was too ill, Jace was lit with heavenly fire and he wouldn’t let Simon near Clary. As Jace and Clary were bickering about whether Simon should drink Clary’s blood Alec stood up, carefully laying Isabelle on the ground.

 “Oh, for God’s sake. I’ll do it,” he said as he tucked the blanket around his sister. He walked towards Simon then and bared his throat for him. But Simon refused to drink his blood in front of everyone. So they walked away from the others and Alec offered him his wrist when Simon said the neck wasn’t absolutely necessary. Alec braced himself as they discussed his dislike for vampires. Simon had noticed it, saying Alec thought Simon was less than he was. Alec felt ashamed to admit it, and he was trying really hard not to think like that. It was unfair for Simon, and other vampires too. They weren’t born a vampire, like Magnus had been born a warlock, but still, they didn’t choose to be vampires either, he knew that.

The whole conversation made him extremely uncomfortable and he wanted it to be over already. “Go ahead,” he said, as Simon took his wrist in his hand. “Just—do it.”

“Brace yourself,” Simon said, and lifted Alec’s wrist to his mouth. Alec saw his vampire fangs snap out and couldn’t help but flinch a little. And just before Simon sank his teeth into his wrist he heard the vampire say, “I’m sorry about Magnus.”

“Me too. Now bite,” Alec said, and Simon did. The pain slid through him like a knife as the vampire’s fangs sunk in his skin and Simon tightened his grip on him. Alec felt his heart beat faster in his chest and he closed his eyes.

_I’m sorry about Magnus_. Simon’s last words resonated in his ears and hurt him more than his fangs hurt his wrist. That pain subsided and in its stead Alec felt a pleasant tingle through his veins. But the pain in his heart didn’t subside. With each passing hour it seemed to grow stronger. He missed Magnus. He ached for him, longed for him and he was so afraid for him. So afraid.


	68. Where I Lay Dying

####  _Magnus_

Sebastian came into their cell and persuaded Raphael to side with him. And Raphael agreed. Magnus was stunned. After all these years of knowing Raphael and his ice cold control, he’d never thought he’d do something this stupid.

Raphael was trying to save his own skin, he was selfish like that. But didn’t he know that Sebastian wasn’t to be trusted? Sebastian gave him promises which Magnus knew he wouldn’t keep. Yet Raphael fell for it with his eyes wide open. Magnus felt surprised by his own disappointment in Raphael. He didn’t think he cared that much. Then again, he’d known Raphael for a long time, had saved his life once. Now he wondered if that had been a mistake.

Sebastian drew out a misericord and handed it to Raphael. “Take it,” he said.

Raphael held the blade a little awkwardly, not used to handling weapons.

“Very good,” said Sebastian. “Now let us seal our agreement in blood. Kill the warlock.”

Magnus closed his eyes, and he heard the knife fall from Raphael’s hand to the ground.

“We do not kill with knives,” he heard Raphael say. Magnus opened his eyes again, thinking that now, after four hundred years of walking the earth, he’d find his death in his father’s realm by a person whose life he once saved. There was a certain irony in it.

“You do now,” said Sebastian. “I won’t have you tearing out his throat; too messy, too easy to get it wrong. Do as I tell you. Go to the warlock and stab him to death. Cut his throat, pierce his heart—however you like.”

Raphael turned toward Magnus, and Magnus saw Luke move, probably to block him. With some effort Magnus held up his hand. “Luke, don’t.”

“Raphael, if you do this, there will be no peace between the pack and the Night’s Children, not now or ever again,” Luke tried to change Raphael’s mind. Magnus knew it was futile. Luke couldn’t do anything to persuade Raphael, and Sebastian knew it too.

He laughed a cold laugh. “You can’t imagine you’ll ever hold sway over a pack again, can you, Lucian Graymark? When I win this war, and I will, I will rule with my sister beside me, and keep you in a cage for her to throw bones to when it amuses her.”

Magnus saw Raphael approaching him with the misericord outstretched in front of him.

“If you think Clary would tolerate—” Luke began, and moved toward Raphael, but Sebastian blocked his way.

Magnus wasn’t afraid as Raphael bent over him and the blade touched his throat.

“That’s right,” said Sebastian from behind Raphael. “Cut his throat. Let the blood run out over the floor. He has lived too many years.”

Magnus thought of Alec then, of his blue eyes and steady smile. Of how afraid he was to lose him. How heartbroken he’d be when Alec died and how heartbroken he was now just for being apart from him. He wasn’t afraid to die but he didn’t want to die. He wanted to see him again. If only once for a short time.

“You remember,” he said to Raphael, so soft that Sebastian couldn’t hear him. “You know what you owe me.”

“You saved my life,” Raphael replied. “A life I never wanted.”

“Show me you’re serious, Santiago,” said Sebastian. “Kill the warlock.”

“I have no soul,” Raphael said, looking down on Magnus. “But I made you a promise on my mother’s doorstep, and she was sacred to me.”

“Santiago—” Sebastian began.

“I was a child then. I am not now.” Magnus saw the knife fall and Raphael turned around. “I cannot,” he said to Sebastian. “I will not. I owe him a debt from many years ago.”

“You disappoint me, Raphael,” Sebastian replied, as he moved forward and picked up the misericord. “You disappoint me very much,” he said, and then, too swiftly for the eye to follow, he drove the blade into Raphael’s heart.

Raphael crumbled to the ground and lay still. Sebastian stood over him and glared at Magnus. “Very well, you’ll live, for now. I doubt it will be long, but we’ll see.”

He turned and walked out of the room, leaving Raphael lying there. Undead but dead. Magnus sighed deeply. “I can’t believe he’s dead,” he whispered as he pulled his hands up to his face.

Luke walked towards Raphael then and laid him on his back, closing his eyes. “Sebastian isn’t to be trusted,” he said. “It was a stupid thing to do.”

“At that,” Magnus said, sinking down to the floor. He closed his eyes once more and wished, for the millionth time, that Alec were here. If Alec were here he’d be okay, he could die, it would be fine. If only it were possible to see his smile again, his beautiful blue eyes.


	69. Thanks For Seeing Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post another chapter today, because frankly, I can't stand the suspense. It takes forever, doesn't it? In CoHF it's even worse... Hope you all still enjoy it...

####  _Alec_

After Simon was done depleting him from blood, Alec felt a little lightheaded. He quickly scrawled two blood replacement runes on his arm and an _iratze_ before taking off to stand guard.

Jace followed him into the tunnel. Alec heard his footsteps behind him and waited until he’d arrived.

“We never got to finish our conversation, before,” Jace said. “I just wanted to say that you don’t always have to be all right. I asked you to be my parabatai because I needed you, but you’re allowed to need me, too. This”—he indicated his own parabatai rune—“means you are the better, other half of me, and I care about you more than I care about myself. Remember that. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how much you were hurting. I didn’t see it then, but I see it now.”

Alec stood still, holding his breath as he let the words sink in. He didn’t expect them to mean so much to him. Of course he knew Jace loved him and their friendship and bond would always remain, but for him to say this, Alec felt relieved because of it.

He thought back at the time before Clary and Magnus had walked into their lives and he’d nurtured a crush on his parabatai. How stupid that had been, Alec thought. Jace was his brother, and he loved him like a brother. He reached out a hand and ruffled Jace’s hair, smiling down at him.

“Thanks for seeing me,” he said, and walked off down the tunnel.

***

Alec had taken his backpack with him to the end of the tunnel. He sat down there and plucked a bottle of wine out of the bag. He knew it was probably a bad idea, but he needed the alcohol. The bottle was half full as Alec brought it to his lips. He closed his eyes as the liquid slid through his throat. It reminded him of Magnus and warm nights on the couch in the loft in Brooklyn. A glass of wine in his hand. Magnus’s arm around him, leaning into his shoulder. Alec closed his eyes, trying to conjure up the peace he felt then. Magnus’s nose nuzzling in his neck, his hand trailing through his hair. The Chairman jumping on the sofa and on his lap.

“The Chairman likes you,” Magnus would say and he’d smile. The first time they’d kissed, Magnus had said he would never date anyone his cat didn’t like. Crazy, funny, wonderful warlock. What Alec wouldn’t give to see him again.

After an hour of sitting there, drinking wine and feeling melancholic about the past, Alec scrambled to his feet and went back to the big hall. He walked in on Isabelle and Simon in the middle of a make-out session next to the fire. To see his sister with the vampire in a passionate embrace was more than Alec could handle at that moment. He dropped the wine bottle and yelled at them.

“WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?” His eyes were shooting daggers at Simon and Izzy, who both looked up, startled, and broke away from each other.

“WHY CAN’T YOU GO SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DO THESE HORRIBLE THINGS? MY EYES.”

“It’s a demon realm, Alec,” Isabelle said. “There’s nowhere for us to go.”

“And you said I should look after her—” Simon said. Alec glowered at him and he shut his mouth fast.

He went to sit down at the other end of the fire. “And where have Jace and Clary gone?”

“Ah,” said Simon. “Who can say . . .”

“Straight people,” Alec sighed in frustration. “Why can’t they control themselves?”

“It’s a mystery,” Simon agreed as he closed his eyes to sleep.

Alec shook his head and went to lay down, his face to the fire, he watched the flames dance. He closed his eyes, knowing he needed energy for whatever they’d face tomorrow.

***

What he faced the next morning was a pounding head ache, a result from drinking too much wine. Thankfully _iratzes_ worked for hangovers too, and after Jace had put one on his arm he felt remarkably better. Today was the day they would besiege Sebastian’s fortress. They’d found out where it was yesterday, before all had gone wrong with Isabelle and the demon attack. But today they had a better plan. They were going up to the Dark Gard−a name Jace had come up with−in disguise and once inside they were going to find the prisoners, set them free and kill Sebastian.

It was a simple plan, nothing could go wrong with it, except maybe that Alec had absolutely no idea how it was ever going to work.

Jace and Clary asked them to trust them. They had it all figured out, but couldn’t explain it. Alec did trust Jace, although it would’ve been nice to be let in. He didn’t push the matter further, deciding it would be a waste of time.

Today they were going to find Magnus. That was all Alec cared about. And how they were going to survive after that, Alec didn’t know and plainly he didn’t care either. They’d face that bridge when they got there. To see Magnus again, nothing else mattered.


	70. The Sun Into Hell

####  _Alec_

So far the plan worked. They’d been able to enter the Dark Gard and fend off a demon attack. Inside, they decided to split up in search for the prisoners. Jace and Clary to the east. Simon, Isabelle and Alec to the west. There were Endarkened Shadowhunters chasing them, Alec could hear their footsteps echo in the halls of the Gard.

The three of them reached the end of the stairways and entered a long hallway with multiple doors on each side. Alec threw himself on the first door, it flew open, but the room inside was empty. Isabelle was already on the next door.

“I hear voices!” Simon, with his vampire hearing, jerked his head to the other end of the hall. Alec broke into a run and heard them too, very faint at the other end of the farthest door on the left. He turned the doorknob and the door burst open.

His eyes scanned the room and fell on Magnus instantly.

He was lying down on the ground, his hands bound with adamas chains. He looked incredibly pale and ill. It shook Alec to the core, even though he felt an immense relief at the sight of him, knowing he was alive.

“Magnus,” he said.

Isabelle moved into the room behind him. “Here they are,” she said to Simon. “Magnus, Luke!”

“Simon?” Luke, who was standing near the window stared at them in wonder, as Simon entered the room.

Alec didn’t pay attention to any of it, but moved through the room in a few strides and knelt down in front of Magnus. Magnus’s eyes were open and he was staring at him. Staring in pure wonder and amazement. And Alec stared back, intensely worried.

Magnus’s face was sunken, the spaces under his cheekbones fallen in, and dark rings like bruises under his eyes. He’d been suffering, Alec knew, and his heart ached because of it.

Magnus breathed out slowly, his eyes shining as he reached up and brushed his hand against Alec’s cheek.  “Oh, my Alec,” he said, his voice sounded hoarse and weak. “You’ve been so sad. I didn’t know.”

Then he dropped his hand and sunk back to the floor, his eyes closed, seemingly exhausted by the mere effort of speaking.

* * *

 

####  **_Magnus_ **

“Magnus,” Magnus heard Alec’s voice calling his name. “Are you all right? Are you hurt?”

Magnus was vaguely aware of the noise of the people in the room, but acutely aware of Alec’s hand touching his face.

“Hold still,” Alec said. Magnus looked up at him, still not totally believing that he was really there. He saw how Alec drew a seraph blade from his belt, and opened his mouth to name it. Magnus reached out his hand, and slid it around Alec’s wrist.

“Call it Raphael,” he whispered, glancing to the blade. He wanted to honor Raphael, now that he was dead, even though Raphael had betrayed him. In the end he hadn’t killed him, and he’d paid for that with his own life. If Alec was going to cut Magnus’s chains, he wanted it done with a blade named after the vampire. “It is an angel’s name,” he said.

Alec nodded. “Raphael,” he said and the blade blazed up. In a swift movement Alec brought it down on the chains. They fell away under the blow and Alec reached down, grabbing Magnus’s shoulders with both his hands.

Magnus assumed he wanted to lift him up, but before Alec could do so, he had his hands on the collar of Alec’s gear and pulled Alec against him. He slid his hands around him and in his hair, reveling in the silky feel of it. He felt his heart soaring because Alec was here. Alec was here! _Alec was here!_

Everything was going to be okay now. He could lay back and sleep, and Alec with him. But before he could do that he needed to kiss him. To feel his soft mouth against his own. So he pulled him close and pressed his lips against the Shadowhunter and kissed him hard and determined.

He felt Alec freeze above him for a second, but then his mouth moved against Magnus’s, and Alec was kissing him back, his hands sliding up from Magnus’s shoulders to his neck. Magnus felt all the ardor and eagerness of Alec in the kiss as he parted his lips and slid down his tongue in Magnus’s mouth. Alec, only Alec could make him feel like this while he lay dying in a demon realm. Everything Alec brought with him was new and exhilarating. He brought the sun into hell and love back in Magnus’s life. He never ever wanted to let him go.

He did draw back eventually, too exhausted to continue. His head fell against Alec’s shoulder, and Alec wrapped his arms around him, holding him close.

“Alec…” he whispered against his shoulder. He could hear his heart beat and was overwhelmed with the steadiness of that sound, and the peace it brought him.

“Yes?” Alec sounded anxious.

“Are you being chased?” Magnus asked.

“I—ah—some of the Endarkened are looking for us,” Alec said slowly.

“Pity,” Magnus said, as he closed his eyes, breathing in Alec’s scent. “It would be nice if you could just lie down with me here. Just . . . for a little while.”

“Well, you can’t,” he heard Isabelle say behind Alec, she sounded worried. “We have to get out of here. The Endarkened will be here any second, and we’ve got what we came for—”

The rest of the conversation was lost to Magnus as he nuzzled his head against Alec’s chest, trying to find the energy to move.

“Can you stand?” Alec asked with gentleness in his voice. Magnus nodded and let Alec lift him to his feet.

It was too much. He felt weak and nauseous. The world seemed to be spinning and he collapsed on the ground, coughing violently.

“Magnus!” Alec was next to him then, a hand on his back. Magnus waved a hand at him to indicate that they should leave him behind. He fell to his knees, heaving breaths. It was pointless, he was too weak.

“You should go without me,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I’ll slow you down.”

“I don’t understand.” Alec sounded torn and worried. “What happened? What did he do to you?”

Magnus shook his head, unable to answer. He heard Luke speak up. “This dimension is killing Magnus. There’s something about it—about his father—that’s destroying him.”

Magnus shook his head again, as he saw Alec looking at him incredulous. He didn’t want to talk about his father, especially not now. He saw a short flash in Alec’s eyes, a flash of frustration, and he knew why. Alec didn’t like it when he kept things from him, he knew that. But now, right now he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t talk about his father. He didn't have the strength for it.

Alec took a deep breath and turned to Isabelle. “The rest of you go find Jocelyn,” he said. “I’ll stay with Magnus. We’ll head toward the center of the keep. When you find her, come looking for us there.”

“Alec—” Isabelle said.

Magnus sat back on the floor, catching his breath.

“Please, Izzy,” said Alec, and she nodded, turned and walked out of the room, Simon and Luke following her.

Alec turned to him then and reached out his hands. “Here,” he said gently. Magnus put his hands in Alec’s, and he pulled him to his feet. Magnus fell against him, and Alec took his arm and laid it around his neck. Magnus felt his strong arm slide around his waist as Alec steadied him.

“Hold on to me,” Alec said, and Magnus smiled at him then.

“I always do, Alexander,” he said. “I always do.”

Alec was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!! The Reunion! I hope it was worth the wait?


	71. I Don't Want the World, I Want You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at one of Malec's most famous lines: 'I don't want the world, I want you!'  
> I can't believe how far we've gotten. Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback, and over 500 kudos! It's really amazing!! It keeps me going!

Sleepless, this madness is walking me out to the ledge  
And stands there beside me, shivering out on the edge  
And oh God all I, all I ask is a little relief, just a moment of peace  
  
I don't want to live without you  
I'm not ready to live without you  
So let's dance a little, laugh a little, and hope a little more  
'Cause I don't want to live without you, without you  
  
I heard a voice from the other side singing,  
"Hold fast, love last"  
As winter turns into summertime singing,  
"Hold fast, love last"  
I heard a voice from the other side singing,  
"Hold fast, love last"  
As winter turns into summertime singing,  
"Hold fast"  
  
So let's dance a little, laugh a little, and hope a little more  
Yes, let's dance a little, laugh a little, and hope a little more  
'Cause I don't want to live without you  
No, I don't wanna live without you, without you

  * For King and Country, _Without you_



* * *

####  _Alec_

Alec was hauling Magnus through the corridor when Magnus told him the walls were closing in on them. At first Alec thought he was hallucinating but then he noticed Magnus was actually telling him the truth. It was as if the walls, the floor, even the ceiling were pushing them into a direction. Only one direction, the Grande Hall in the centre of the keep.

When they entered that hall Alec saw Isabelle on her knees sitting next to an unconscious Jace. Simon stood in the middle of the room and Sebastian was there. At the other end of the hall on the dais were two thrones and Clary sat on one of them.

Behind them Luke and Jocelyn stumbled into the room. Sebastian clapped his hands in delight. “Now everyone’s here, it’s a party!”

Sebastian closed the borders between Edom and Earth then. He had given Clary the choice, either chose him and save the earth from the army he had unleashed, or stand against him and watch the world turn into blood.

It was Magnus’s dream, Alec thought. The streets of Alicante filled with blood. It was hardly a choice at all for Clary. She’d chosen to stand at Sebastian’s side and he closed the borders. It meant they were all doomed to stay in Edom for the rest of their lives, under Sebastian’s rule.

Jocelyn was the one who tried to stop Clary, to persuade her to chose against him, but Clary shook her head. “You never held the life of a whole world in your hand, mom,” she said, and Alec heard the infinite sorrow in her voice, “There’s only so much advice you can give me. I choose what he chooses. The gift he gave me. I accept it.”

Sebastian snapped his fingers then, looking at the stunned group of people in front of him. “You heard her,” he said, “All of you. Kneel to your queen.”

The army of Endarkened warriors went to kneel down, but everyone else stood frozen. But then Magnus, out of all of them, Magnus was the one to sink to his knees first. Alec didn’t hesitate and followed him. If Magnus was willing to kneel for Clary, then he must follow. It was pointless to disobey at this point, Magnus knew that and that’s why he knelt. Alec could see it was an empty gesture. When he was down on his knees he held out his hand and grasped Magnus’s. Magnus twined his fingers with Alec’s and squeezed a reassuring squeeze.

Alec didn’t know what to think of the whole situation. He remembered Jace and Clary saying they had a plan and he had to trust them. He decided he would, even though the situation seemed fairly hopeless at the moment.

The part of the plan Clary and Jace had kept to themselves was the part where Clary had taken the Heavenly Fire out of Jace and into her sword. Since Sebastian was indestructible, only this fire had the power to stop him. And it did.

After they all knelt down Sebastian went up to the thrones, raised Clary up and took her in his arms, asking her to kiss him. To proof that they were unified. Alec saw her lifting her face up to him, her one hand around his neck and the other reaching for her sword. In a swift movement she kissed his cheek and drove the sword in his chest.

Sebastian's eyes opened wide in disbelief, the sword was protruding from his chest, and blood spilled over it. And then he sank down to the ground like a ragged doll.

* * *

 

####  _Magnus_

Sebastian was dead, but the borders were closed, and there was no way for them to return to earth. Magnus felt ill and so tired, so immensely tired. It dawned on him that the only way for the Shadowhunters to go home was if he’d call on his father. His father, who wanted his immortality as the price for calling on him.

It was only one time, centuries ago, when Magnus had summoned him. He’d wanted to be sure that his father was who he thought he was. Magnus had paid dearly for that one time. His father had taken his love away from him for payment. She was only twenty years old, and there was nothing Magnus could do about it. But he learned his lesson and knew he could never call on his father again.

His father had told him he wanted his immortality, and because Magnus had refused he killed Julianne. It was a memory that was more than painful, one of the biggest reasons why Magnus hated to think about or talk about the past.

But now, there was no other solution. If he didn’t call on him, they’d all die. Alec, too. And Magnus couldn’t bear that. He needed him to live. Him and the others, to go back to earth and live their lives in peace.

Jocelyn was sitting on the dais with her dead son in her lap, and Luke hovering over her. Clary came down then and talked to them. Isabelle asked her if Sebastian told her the way to open the borders back to earth before he died.

“He said it wasn’t possible,” answered Clary. “That they’re closed forever.”

“So we’re trapped here, forever? That can’t be,” Isabelle’s eyes were wide with shock as she turned to Magnus. “There must be a spell, Magnus?”

“He wasn’t lying,” Magnus said. “There’s no way for us to reopen the paths from here to Idris.”

Everyone stared at him in horror, but Magnus realized Alec knew him well enough to hear the ambiguity in what he’d said.

“No way for us?” Alec asked.

“That’s what I said,” Magnus said, trying to cover it up. “There’s no way to open the borders.”

“No,” said Alec, and there was a dangerous note in his voice. “You said there was no way for _us_ to do it, meaning there might be someone who could.”

Magnus stared at him and then at the others. “There are worse things than death.”

“Maybe you should let us be the judge of that,” said Alec.

Magnus lifted a hand to his face, wiping over his eyes in exhaustion. “Dear God. Alexander, I have gone my whole life without ever taking recourse to this path, save once, when I learned my lesson. It is not a lesson I want the rest of you to learn.”

“But you’re alive,” said Clary. “You lived through the lesson.”

“It wouldn’t be much of a lesson if I hadn’t,” he said. “But I was duly warned. Playing dice with my own life is one thing; playing with all of yours—”

“We’ll die here anyway,” said Jace. “It’s a rigged game. Let us take our chances.”

“I agree,” Isabelle said. Magnus looked at them, each one nodded in agreement. Alec’s eyes were shining a bright blue, pleading with him. He stared at the dais, where Luke and Jocelyn still knelt, and sighed.

“Majority vote,” he said. “Did you know there’s an old Downworlder saying about mad dogs and Nephilim never heeding a warning?”

“Magnus—” Alec’s voice sounded sharp.

Magnus shook his head and called on his father then. Murmuring the lines of the spell. He ended it with proclaiming he was his son, knowing it was needed for Asmodeus to show up. “I call you as your son, and incur upon myself the responsibility of your summoning.”

When he opened his eyes he saw five faces looking at him, completely shocked.

“By the Angel—” Alec started.

“No,” said a voice, and Magnus recognized him instantly. “Definitely not by your Angel.”

Everyone turned, and there he was. Asmodeus. He looked quite human, very pale, unlike Magnus. But their eyes were the same. Gold-green and slit-pupilled like a cat’s.

“Father,” said Magnus, feeling the heaviness of sorrow weighing on him. “You came.”

Asmodeus smiled. “My son,” he said. “It has been a long time since you called on me. I was beginning to despair that you ever would again.”

“I hadn’t planned to,” Magnus said sarcastically. “I called on you once, to determine that you were my father. That once was enough.”

“You wound me,” said his father as he smiled at his companions. “I am Asmodeus,” he said. “One of the Nine Princes of Hell. You may know my name.”

Alec, next to him made a short sound. Magnus could tell how shocked he was.

“I was a seraphim once, one of the angels indeed,” said Asmodeus. “Part of an innumerable company. Then came the war, and we fell like stars from Heaven. I followed the Light-Bringer down, the Morning Star, for I was one of his chief advisers, and when he fell, I fell with him. He raised me up in Hell and made me one of the nine rulers. In case you were wondering, it is preferable to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven—I’ve done both.”

“You’re—Magnus’s father?” said Alec, he sounded choked. His eyes flicked from Asmodeus to Magnus. “When you held the witchlight in the subway tunnel, it flared up in colors—is that because of him?”

“Yes,” Magnus said tiredly. “I warned you, Alexander, that this was something you would not like.”

“I don’t see what the fuss is about. I have been the father of many warlocks,” said Asmodeus. “Magnus has made me the most proud.”

Asmodeus was as awful as ever, Magnus thought. He wanted to get this over with fast. He knew what was coming. Asmodeus would want his life for returning the others to earth. Facing death in the eyes wasn’t easy. Especially not with Alec standing right next to him.

“Let’s cut to the business part of this,” said Magnus. “You can open a door, correct? Send us through to Idris, back to our world?”

“Would you like a demonstration?” Asmodeus asked, he flicked his fingers to the dais and the next moment Luke, Jocelyn and Sebastian were gone.

“Mom!” Clary cried out.

“I sent them back to your world,” said Asmodeus. “Now you know.”

Clary panted as she whirled on him. “How dare you—”

“Well, it’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” said Asmodeus. “There, you got the first two for free. The rest, well, it’ll cost you. I’m a demon,” he said pointedly. “Really, what do they teach Nephilim these days?”

“I know what you want,” Magnus said slowly. “And you can have it. But you must swear on the Morning Star to send all my friends back to Idris, all of them, and never to bother them again. They will owe you nothing.”

Alec took a step towards him then, blocking him from his father. “Stop,” he said. “No—Magnus, what do you mean, what he wants? Why are you talking like you’re not coming back to Idris with us?”

“There is a time,” said Asmodeus. “When we must all return to live in the houses of our fathers. Now is Magnus’s time.”

“‘In my father’s house are many mansions,’” Jace whispered. “Magnus. He can’t mean—he doesn’t want to take you back with him? Back to—”

“To Hell? Not precisely,” Asmodeus said. “As Magnus said, Edom is my realm. I shared it with Lilith. Then her brat took it over and laid waste to the grounds, destroyed my keep—it’s in slivers out there. And you murdered half the populace with the skeptron.” The last was addressed to Jace, rather petulantly.“It takes great energy to fuel a realm. We draw from the power of what we have left behind, the great city of Pandemonium, the fire we fell into, but there is a time when life must fuel us. And immortal life is the best of all.”

What happened next surprised Magnus more than he’d ever been surprised in his life. All five of them, Alec first, the rest following, moved in front of him. Forming a block between him and his father.  “You want to take his life?” Clary asked Asmodeus, an indignant tone in her voice. “That’s just cruel and stupid, even if you’re a demon. How could you want to kill your own child—”

Asmodeus laughed a vile laughter. “Delightful,” he said. “Look at them, Magnus, these children who love you and want to protect you! Who would ever have thought it! When you are buried, I will make sure they inscribe it on your tomb: Magnus Bane, beloved of Nephilim.”

“You won’t touch him,” Alec said. Magnus loved how steady and unwavering his voice sounded, and at the same time it broke his heart. “Maybe you’ve forgotten what it is we do, us Nephilim, but we kill demons. Even princes of Hell.”

“Oh, I know well what you do; my kinsman Abbadon you slew, and our princess Lilith you scattered to the winds of the void, though she will return. She always has a place in Edom. That is why I allowed her son to set himself up here, though I admit I did not realize what a mess he’d make,” Asmodeus said. “I do not plan to kill Magnus. That would be messy and silly, and besides, I could have had his death arranged at any time. It is his life freely given I want, for the life of an immortal has power, great power, and it will help me fuel my kingdom.”

Magnus could barely see him over the heads of the five people standing in between them.

“But he’s your son,” Isabelle said.

Isabelle sure didn’t understand the fact that demons couldn’t care less about sons, Magnus thought bitterly, as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“And he will remain with me,” said Asmodeus. “In spirit, you might say.”

Alec turned around then. “He wants to take your immortality?”

“Exactly,” Magnus said.

“But—you’d survive? Just not be immortal anymore?” Magnus saw the pain in Alec’s eyes and his heart ached for him. He loved him so, and he knew this was the end for them. _Why_ , he thought, _why did I break up with him?_ All these weeks spend in misery without him. Seeing him again here in Edom only to be parted again, and now forever.

“My immortality would be gone,” Magnus said, delivering his own death sentence to Alec. “All the years of my life would come on me at once. I would be unlikely to survive it. Almost four hundred years is quite a lot to take, even if you moisturize regularly.”

“You can’t,” Alec said, pleading, there was agony in his eyes. “He said ‘a life given willingly.’ Say no.”

Magnus looked at him with an infinite love and an infinite sadness. _My Alec, I’m so sorry. The last thing I want is to hurt you like this._ He took a step towards him.

“I can’t say no, Alexander,” he said softly. “If I do, we all remain here; we’ll die anyway. We’ll starve, our ashes turned to dust to plague the demons of the realm.”

“Fine,” Alec said. “There isn’t any one of us who would give up your life to save ours.”

Magnus stared at him in wonder and then at the faces of the others, each one affirming what Alec had said. He took a deep breath and started a speech, knowing they had to be persuaded.

“I’ve lived a long time,” Magnus said. “So many years, and no, it doesn’t feel like enough. I won’t lie and say it does. I want to live on-“ He looked at Alec then, pleading, “Partly because of you, Alec. I have never wanted to live so much as I have these past few months, with you.”

Alec’s eyes were shining as he stared at him. “We’ll die together,” he said. “Let me stay at least, with you.”

“You have to go back,” Magnus pleaded with him. “You have to go back to the world.”

“I don’t want the world. I want you,” Alec said, his voice pained.

Magnus closed his eyes and thought back at what he’d said to Luke. How he’d compared himself to Lucifer and Alec to God. _I’m selfish enough to want the person who loves me to choose me. But Nephilim will always choose the world._ Yet Alec didn’t choose the world, Alec didn’t want the world. He wanted him.

Magnus saw a future before him then, a future where they would be together. Dance a little, laugh a little and hope a little more.

He didn’t want Alec to leave without him, to live without him. But we don’t always get what we want.

 


	72. Thence We Came Forth to Rebehold the Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Title of this chapter comes from Dante, Inferno, XXXIV, line 139

####  _Alec_

“Fine,” Alec said. “There isn’t any one of us who would give up your life to save ours.”

Magnus stared at him and then at the faces of the others, each of them affirming what Alec had said. Alec saw Magnus’s face soften in surprise as he realized Alec was right. He took a deep breath and Alec knew he was going to try to persuade them.

“I’ve lived a long time,” Magnus said. “So many years, and no, it doesn’t feel like enough. I won’t lie and say it does. I want to live on—partly because of you, Alec. I have never wanted to live so much as I have these past few months, with you.”

The words felt like slaps in Alec’s face. The idea of living with Magnus and the cruel reality of the impossibility of it was too much. “We’ll die together,” he said. “Let me stay at least, with you.”

“You have to go back,” Magnus’s eyes were pleading with him, “You have to go back to the world.”

“I don’t want the world. I want you,” Alec said, his voice tight with pain as the truth of it hit him. To go back to Idris without Magnus, what would be the point of that? Magnus closed his eyes, and breathed deep again. Alec could see how much this was hurting him.

“You can’t stay with me,” Magnus said finally, opening his eyes again, they were shining too bright. “There will be no me; the demon will take my life force, and my body will crumble away. Four hundred years, remember.”

“ ‘The demon,’ ” Asmodeus said. “You could say my name, at least, while you’re boring me.”

Alec hardly heard him, all he heard was Magnus. _There will be no me._

“Get on with it, my boy,” Asmodeus added. “I haven’t got all eternity to wait—and neither have you, anymore.”

“I have to save you, Alec,” Magnus said. “You and everyone you love; it’s a small price to pay, isn’t it, in the end, for all of that?”

“Not everyone I love,” Alec whispered, his eyes were burning and he felt his heart breaking. Sharp, almost unbearable pain cut through his chest. “No,” he shook his head as he reached for Magnus, pulling him close.

Magnus clenched his hand on Alec’s shoulder and leaned in to kiss him, the kiss tasted bitter and desperate and yet it was the only thing he wanted. Magnus was digging his fingers painfully in his arm but he hardly felt it. All he felt was Magnus and he didn’t want to let go.

But Magnus let go nonetheless. He stepped away from him and turned to his father. Alec felt an emptiness where Magnus’s warmth had been and the precipice was opening up. Darkness awaiting him, a fall without end.

“All right,” Magnus said. Alec closed his eyes, knowing what was coming. The precipice came closer and darkness closed in on him. He knew with a painful certainty that with Magnus’s next words his life would end and Alec would fall like Lucifer fell from heaven. _All hope abandon, ye who enter here._

“All right, take me.” Magnus said, “I give you my life. I am—”

But before Magnus could finish the sentence someone else said the words. “I am willing.”

Alec opened his eyes and saw it was Simon, who had stepped forward in front of Magnus.

Asmodeus’s eyebrows shot up. “What was that?”

Alec didn’t quite catch on yet, but Isabelle reacted to this sudden turn of events. “No, Simon, no!”

“I also have an immortal life,” Simon said, waving Isabelle’s comment away. “Magnus isn’t the only one. Take mine; take my immortality.”

“Ahhhh,” sighed Asmodeus, “Azazel told me of you. A vampire is not interesting, but a Daylighter! You carry the power of the world’s sun in your veins. Sunlight and eternal life, that is a power indeed.”

“Yes,” Simon said. “If you’ll take my immortality instead of Magnus’s, then I give it to you. I am—”

“Simon!” Clary chimed in.

“I am willing,” Simon said again and looked around. Alec couldn’t do anything but stare, hardly believing this was actually happening.

“God, Simon, no,” said Magnus. Alec looked at him, he sounded sad and his eyes were closed. But he was still here. Alec didn’t know what this would entail for Simon, and he didn’t want anything bad to happen to the boy, who was his sister’s boyfriend. Yet the darkness had receded and a part of him was screaming for joy that Magnus was still here and that there was a chance he would survive this after all.

“I’m only seventeen,” Simon said. “If he takes my immortality, I’ll live out my life—I won’t die here. I never wanted immortality, I never wanted to be a vampire, I never wanted any of it.”

“You won’t live out your life!” Isabelle was almost shouting and Alec felt instantly guilty for feeling only the remotest joy at what was happening here. “If Asmodeus takes your immortality, then you’ll be a corpse, Simon. You’re undead.”

“You’re a very stupid girl,” said Asmodeus then. “I am a Prince of Hell. I can break down the walls between worlds. I can build worlds and destroy them. You think I can’t reverse the transformation that Turns a human to a vampire? You think I can’t make his heart beat again? Child’s play.”

“But why would you do that?” Clary said, bewildered. “Why would you make it so that he lived? You’re a demon. You don’t care—”

“I don’t care. But I want,” said Asmodeus. “There is one more thing I want from you. One more item to sweeten the deal.” He grinned, and his teeth glimmered like sharp crystals.

“What?” Magnus’s voice shook. “What is it you want?”

Alec moved closer to him and took his hand. Magnus clasped his hand in Alec’s, their fingers entwining and he held on to him.

It turned out Asmodeus wanted Simon’s memories. He would keep his life, but he’d have to live the rest of it as a mundane, without any contact with the Shadowworld whatsoever. Clary and Isabelle tried to stop it, tried to change Simon’s mind, but it was too late for that. Simon was determined to go through with it and in the end they had to give in. It was done.

Asmodeus laid his hand on Simon, took his immortality and his memories and made his heart beat again. After that he sent him back to New York and the next thing Alec knew was the swirl of the Portal.

The only thing that was binding him to reality was Magnus’s hand in his. And then they were back in Idris, and it was over.

Alec looked around in the Hall of Accords where they had reappeared. It was a chaos, a blur of Shadowhunters who all looked stricken at the sudden appearance of their group. Jace and Clary were right next to them, and Isabelle, too. Only Simon wasn’t there. But Magnus was, his hand still in Alec’s, he looked sick and exhausted, but he was here and he was alive.

They had ascended from hell.

 _“Thence we came forth to rebehold the stars.”_ Alec heard Magnus whisper beside him.

Alec looked at him just when Magnus’s legs slid out underneath him and he fell to the floor. With a burst of speed Alec stretched out his arms and caught him. He went to sit down on the floor and laid Magnus against him. The warlock rested his head against Alec’s chest and closed his eyes.

Alec gripped his hands like a vice, “Take my strength, Magnus. Heal yourself,” he pleaded.

“I can’t,” Magnus’s voice was barely audible, “I’m too weak and my magic hasn’t returned yet.” He was shivering in Alec’s arms. “If you can just hold me for awhile…”

His voice drifted off and Alec closed his arms around him, burying his head in Magnus’s hair. “I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered, “By the Angel, I thought I’d lost you forever. But you’re going to live now, right? You’ll live?”

“I’ll live,” Magnus replied. His breathing was steady and his heartbeat, too. Alec felt it beating against his hand, splayed across Magnus’s chest. Magnus had his eyes closed and his breathing evened out. His whole body relaxed against Alec’s and Alec knew he was asleep. Too exhausted and worn down to stay awake for one more second.

Alec sat motionless, his cheek resting on Magnus’s head, as he stared around him. Isabelle was crying, and Alec’s heart ached for her. Simon was alive, but gone from their world, back into the mundane world with no knowledge of Shadowhunters whatsoever. Clary, too, had tears sliding down her cheeks, Jace stood with his arms around her. Luke was talking to the Consul and then someone squatted in front of Alec, blocking his view. It was his mother.

“Alec, honey,” her voice was filled with concern and she looked at him anxiously, “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” She stared down at Magnus in his lap, “And he? What’s wrong with him?”

“I’m okay,” Alec said, “We were in Edom, mom. To get the prisoners back.”

He inhaled deeply before he continued, “But that dimension was killing Magnus."

He looked down at the warlock, sleeping in his arms, still looking extremely pale and sunken. With a gentle gesture he brushed his hair from his forehead. "He’ll live, now that we’re back. He’s exhausted, but that’s hopefully all.”

A Silent Brother appeared at their side and his mother stood up talking to him. Alec caught the words ‘hell dimension’  and ‘quarantine,’ he looked up at them and caught the last sentence the Brother said.

_We need to separate Downworlders and Shadowhunters. The Downworlders have demon blood in them as you know, they react differently to other dimensions. We have to observe them apart from each other._

“No,” Alec said, “I’m not leaving him.”

Maryse asked the Brother if it was absolutely necessary, which the Brother affirmed. She squatted down again and reached out a hand, putting it on Alec’s shoulder. “Alec-”

“No,” Alec said again, stubborn, “I want to be there when he wakes up. I need to stay with him.”

“I know,” Maryse sounded sad and understanding, “I know you do, honey. But it’s really important that you’ll be quarantined.”

“So? Quarantine us together,” Alec said.

Maryse shook her head, “It’s not possible. Come now, let the Brother take Magnus.”

Alec tightened his grip around the warlock and shook his head. There was no way his was letting him go. Maryse sighed and stood up. And then Jace was there. He sat down next to Alec and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I told you,” he said softly, “When we were in Edom, that you are allowed to need me, too. Now you do, take my hands.”

Jace let go of his shoulder and held out his hands. Slowly, very slowly Alec took his hands away from Magnus and placed them in Jace’s. “It’s only for a few days,” Jace said, squeezing him tightly.

The Silent Brother bent over him then and took Magnus away from his lap, lifting him up in his arms. Magnus didn’t react, he was lost to the world. Alec saw his head fall against the Silent Brother’s shoulder. Jace pulled Alec up and Alec stared as the Brother walked away. He felt his feet moving forward, wanting to follow him. But Jace was holding him back. “You have to let him go. Be strong, Alec.”

Alec nodded and breathed deeply. He closed his eyes for a second and hardened himself. “Okay,” he said, looking at Jace squarely. He noticed how exhausted his parabatai looked. “Thank you,” he added.

Jace squeezed his shoulder, “Any time.” He turned to Maryse then, “What now?”

“You need to be quarantined, all of you,” Maryse said.

Alec went to his sister, who had sunk to the floor, and pulled her to her feet. “Come, Izzy.”

He wrapped an arm around her and they followed Maryse to the Basilias.

 

 


	73. In Quarantine

####  _Magnus_

When Magnus woke up, the first thing he saw was white. White bed sheets, white walls, white ceilings. The second thing he saw was blue. A person, sitting in a chair next to him, wearing blue scrubs and blue skin. Catarina.

“Hi, are you awake?” she asked.

Magnus thought that was a weird question. He was looking at her, wasn’t he? A clear sign of being awake. He nodded.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in a special wing of the Basilias in Alicante. Special access for special Downworlders.” Catarina sounded sarcastic and Magnus raised his eyebrows.

“So,  I hear you’ve been visiting your father in Edom,” Catarina continued, “I’m sorry for giving you that invite back. It should’ve been me.”

“Don’t talk nonsense,” Magnus said, waving her away. “How long was I out?”

“About a day. I healed you, you were in a pretty bad shape when they brought you here and you’ll have to stay here for at least another twenty four hours.”

Magnus closed his eyes. He felt tired, but not sick and dizzy anymore, like he felt when he was in Edom. Edom. The memories came flying back to him. Alec’s blue eyes shining, _I don’t want the world._ “Where’s Alec?” Magnus asked.

“All Shadowhunters who came from Edom are quarantined in the Basilias. That’s all I know. I assume he’s there.”

“Can you go and check and see if he’s okay?” Magnus asked, feeling worried and wishing he could go himself and see him. He wanted to talk to him, to tell him that he also didn’t want the world. All he wanted, all he ever wanted since the first moment he saw him, was Alec.

Catarina said she’d ask and left the room. Magnus sat up then and looked around. On the nightstand next to his bed he noticed his black notebook. He took it and opened it. His eye fell on the inscription on the first page.

_Dear Alec,_

_To love you, is there anything greater?_

He browsed through the pages, rereading the stories he’d already wrote. Then he took a pen and started writing some more. He wrote about living in Paris and in London. He wrote about moving to New York and setting up a speak easy there in the time of the prohibition.

He wrote about Hotel Dumort and found a hiatus in his memory. Something was blocking him. He spoke a quick revealing spell and saw the blue sparks of magic leaving his fingers. A good sign, he had his magic back. But the spell didn’t work.

Catarina came back, carrying a tray with food on it. A bowl of soup and some bread. Magnus wrinkled his nose at it. “Can’t I have something more substantial?”

“No. We’re going to start you on something light. You haven’t eaten for days.” Catarina sounded very much like the nurse she was. “It’s important to start with light food, easy for digestion.”

Magnus caved in, knowing it was futile to argue with Catarina on this. “How’s Alec?” he asked instead.

“He’s fine,” Catarina replied, “I haven’t talked to him, obviously, but Brother Zachariah has assured me of his wellbeing.”

“Good.” Magnus felt a little better now and started on the soup. After finishing the soup and the bread he asked Catarina about the block on his mind.

“Oh yes,” she said, “you asked me to block you because of Camille. You sure you want to hear this story?”

“I do,” Magnus said, “I’m writing down my life.”

“Why?” Catarina looked amused and slightly baffled.

“Because I want Alec to know me. And Alec wants to know me and I’m willing to give myself to him,” Magnus said. “So I’m giving him my past.”

Catarina nodded and launched into a story of addicted vampires and a weak and broken Camille. Magnus wrote it all down while she told it, all the while thinking about Camille, who was gone now. Gone. Like Ragnor and Raphael. People who were supposed to be in his life forever. He felt an incredible sadness as he mourned them, all of them. They had their flaws, Camille had big ones. And Raphael and Ragnor, too. But they were his friends, they were part of his life. He felt good writing about them and it made him happy to think Alec would read it one day and know about them, too. They were part of his life and had helped shape him into the person he was today.

As he was writing and contemplating this he realized how right Alec had been, asking him to open up. And how afraid he had been to do exactly that. And why? He didn’t quite understand why. It was a good thing to open up and share. Each man is an island and the only way to build a bridge between islands was to speak. To communicate what lives in your heart.

Magnus was willing to communicate now. To change. Not only for Alec’s sake but for his own sake. Alec had saved his life, by entering it with his enthusiasm and his youth. His willingness to give to Magnus and he’d made Magnus willing to open up and change. Though that realization made Magnus happy, he felt anxious too. Because despite everything they’d said in Edom, they weren’t back together. And who knew what Alec thought now, what Alec wanted now?

Magnus stared at the first page of his notebook and decided to add a little more to the prescript. He had to try at least, to persuade Alec, to let him know he was his, completely. Heart, body and soul.

_Dear Alec,_

_To love you, is there anything greater?_

_I know that nothing is, it’s a truth that became even more true over the past weeks and everything that happened. You saved my life. I’ve realized how much you’ve changed me. I told you I couldn’t change but I was wrong. I can change, you can make me change. I just hadn’t realized it yet and I’m sorry you had to wait so long for me and we almost lost each other. But now we’re both alive and while I write this I pray that you will take me back and let me love you. Because that’s all I want in my life, to love you._

_There’s a quote in the Bible, it says ‘Don’t worry for tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself.’ I’m not going to worry about us anymore. I will take each day as it comes, with you. You give each day meaning. You comprehend all things new and beautiful to me._

_And this is my promise to you: here’s my story, here’s my life. You can have all of my past as well as my future. And we’ll have today together, Alexander, if you’ll have me._

_I am_

_In everything_

_Yours,_

_Magnus._

He closed the notebook then and his eyes. He felt himself drift off to a dream world where Alec would be. Where Alec would let him love him.

* * *

 

####  _Alec_

Alec had followed Jace mechanically. His arm around his sister as they walked into the Basilias and into a separate wing. The door closed behind them and the Silent Brother told them to relax a bit. They’d be examined soon, to see how the days in the demon realm had affected them.

The first thing he did was take a long, hot shower. As he stood beneath the spray he watched the filth of Edom leave his body and slide down the drain. It felt good to be clean again and whole. He was worried about Magnus, and Isabelle, who he’d never seen this upset before. But other than that he was okay. Magnus was going to be okay. Jace was okay, Izzy was okay, Clary was okay. They all made it through alive. Something Alec never had believed possible.

The verdict of the Silent Brothers was two days of quarantine, to be sure that all possible diseases or toxins had left their bodies. Two days without any contact with the outside world. Alec asked if he could see Magnus, but that was denied.

“Why?” he asked, furious, “He was with us in Edom, why can’t he be with us now?”

_Because, Alec Lightwood, he is a warlock. And I am sorry but they require different healing methods and they react differently to being in another dimension. Do you understand that?_

The Silent Brother said it without any emotion, yet Alec felt as if he was being judged. Judged for loving a warlock. He was seething and intended to shout at the Brother. But before he could open his mouth Jace put a hand on his shoulder.

“Of course he does,” Jace said with a charming smile. “Alec understands it.”

Alec nodded moodily and sat down on the bed.

“But we do want to know how he’s doing,” Jace added. “He wasn’t doing so well when we last saw him. Can you please let us know?”

 _I will see what I can find out._ The Brother said. _I suggest you all go and catch up on some sleep now._

He turned and left the room as Jace squatted down before Alec. “Two days, Alec. Come on, you’ll live through it.”

Isabelle, behind them, snorted. “I don’t see why you would want to see him so badly. He’s just going to ignore your questions again and act like you don’t have a right to know anything about him.”

“Isabelle,” Clary sounded upset. “Why are you saying that?”

“Because,” Izzy shrugged. “I don’t want Alec to go fly back to Magnus without changing anything that was wrong about their relationship.”

Alec looked at her thoughtfully. He crawled into the bed and stared at the ceiling. “You’re right, Izzy,” he said and he closed his eyes, mulling over her words.

_I don’t want the world, I want you._

That’s what he’d said to Magnus and it hadn’t changed now that they were back in Idris. He didn’t care about Idris or New York or wherever for that matter. If he had to choose he’d choose Magnus. But Isabelle was right. He knew he couldn’t go back to him as if nothing had happened. Back in New York he’d asked him to change and he still needed that. He needed Magnus to open up to him, to share his life with him. And he didn’t know if Magnus was willing to do that.

It hurt him, it physically hurt him. The idea of loving someone so much, of wanting to share your entire life with him, only to find out he wasn’t willing to share back. To give back. Alec sighed deep, wishing he could get up and go to Magnus. To ask him again to reconsider. To have a future with him.

He wondered what would happen if Magnus turned him down. How could he move on from that? From heartbreak.

Of course a lot of people lived through heartbreak. And mostly they survived. Alec knew it would be only logical that he’d survive it, too. But he couldn’t believe there would come a time in his life where he could think back at the months he’d spend with this amazing and shockingly beautiful boy, and not feel an incredible sadness and a searing pain, because he’d lost him. He’d given his heart, wholly and irrevocably. He didn’t have a return policy.

***

After two days of quarantine they were finally allowed to leave the hospital. Maryse and Robert were there to pick them up and bring them home. Outside, he saw Magnus again. He looked young and beautiful, a little tired and pale still, but other than that completely healthy. Alec’s heart jumped at the sight of him, but he couldn’t will himself to move and walk over. Magnus didn’t see him, he was talking to a blue skinned woman, who Alec recognized was Catarina.

Maryse put a hand on Alec’s arm. “Come, we need to go change for the Council Meeting. You’ll see him there okay? You’ll have plenty of time to talk.”

Alec nodded and turned around, crossing Angel Lane towards the Inquisitors house. Maryse told him she and Robert were going to stay a week longer in Idris, after the meeting. “I want you to be Head of the Institute during that week,” she said, “Will you do that? You’ll leave tomorrow with Jace and Isabelle.”

Alec nodded, surprised. “You really think I’m capable of running the Institute in your stead?”

“Of course I am, Alexander,” his mother looked at him, surprised. “I’m proud of you. You’re a wonderful man and a good Shadowhunter. I am absolutely sure you can do this.”

He smiled at her then, feeling warm and touched that his mother thought so highly of him. She smiled back and squeezed his hand.

“I love you, Alec. From the first moment I felt you kick in my womb. And when I laid eyes on you, the day you were born. It was the happiest day of my life.” Her eyes were shining as she looked at him. “I love you and I’ll never stop loving you.”

“I love you, too,” Alec said. And he realized that if he had to live without Magnus, it was going to be hard, but he could do it. He wasn’t alone.


	74. You Are My First So Many Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rooftop talk, peeps! The rooftop talk!!!  
> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.   
> Thanks so much for leaving kudos and super sweet comments that keep me going!!!  
> Y'all are the best! <33333

_Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own._

  * Matthew 6:34



* * *

####  _Magnus_

The Cold Peace was ridiculous. It would mean problems with all faeries all over the world forever, and the only thing that could possibly happen in the future was an explosion and a war. It was like the Cold Peace after the First World War. That peace had led Germany to bankruptcy and to Hitler, which led to the Second World War. The Shadowhunters didn’t care about that, about mundane history or about leniency. They were a harsh people, with no mercy.

Magnus left the Hall as soon as it was possible to leave without being rude. Only the most influential of Shadowhunters were staying to discuss technicalities. The Downworld representatives were supposed to stay too, but Magnus had enough of it.

He’d seen Alec leave soon after the Clave had voted for the exile of Helen Blackthorn, only because the girl had faerie blood in her. Alec’s face had been closed off but Magnus had seen the anger in his eyes because of the injustice. Alec wasn’t like them, these harsh and merciless Shadowhunters. Alec would’ve said that Helen couldn’t help it, she was born like this and hadn’t done anything wrong.

There was nothing to be done about it, those who voted against her exile were a small minority.

Magnus descended the stairs of the Hall and stood still for a moment in Angel’s Square, thinking back at the party they’d had here after the Mortal War. How happy he and Alec had been then. Now the Dark War had ended and Magnus didn’t feel any of that happiness. He felt scared, vulnerable and nervous instead. His hand traveled to his pocket where he’d put the black notebook. His resolve hardened. It was time, high time to face his demons and find Alec, talk things through with him and pray to God he’ll take him back.

He turned towards the street where the Inquisitor’s house was and walked hurriedly, wanting to get to Alec. When he reached the house an inexplicable feeling made him look up and he saw him there, sitting on the roof, his legs dangling over the edge, staring off in the distance. Magnus felt his heart jump at the sight of him and he hurried to the door, snapped his fingers to open it, unwilling to knock and wait for Isabelle to answer, not even knowing if she was home. Robert and Maryse were still in the Hall and he had no idea where Jace and Clary were.

He climbed up the stairs, fighting the urge to run. With every step he grew more nervous. On the second floor he entered the room that was closest to where Alec was sitting. It was Alec’s own bedroom, Magnus knew that instantly. An ugly sweater lay on the bed and Alec’s shoes stood next to the door. The window was open and Magnus climbed through it, looking at Alec, who was still sitting there, his back to him. His shoulders were tense and Magnus could read his thoughts only by looking at his back. He was probably blaming himself for Helen’s exile.

“You couldn’t have done anything. Don’t punish yourself,” he said, as he carefully moved down over the roof to the gutter. He saw Alec flinch at the sound of his voice.

“How’d you get up here?” he asked.

Magnus went to sit down next to Alec, further away than he wanted, but scared to be too close, too soon. Alec had told him in Edom he wanted him more than he wanted the world. But still, Magnus wasn’t completely sure of Alec’s willingness to take him back.

He saw Alec looking at him, a look of longing mixed with wariness, and it was the latter that scared Magnus. 

“I should have said something,” Alec said. “I voted against sending her away.”

“I know,” said Magnus, shaking his head. “You and about ten other people. It was overwhelmingly in favor. People get scared, and they take it out on anyone they think is different. It’s the same cycle I’ve seen a thousand times.”

“It makes me feel so useless,” Alec said.

“You’re anything but useless.” Magnus looked up at the sky where the stars were appearing. “You saved my life.”

“In Edom?” Alec said. “I helped, but really—you saved your own life.”

“Not just in Edom,” Magnus said, wanting badly for Alec to understand him and to know he was telling him something real, something true. “I was—I’m almost four hundred years old, Alexander. Warlocks, as they get older, they start to calcify. They stop being able to feel things. To care, to be excited or surprised. I always told myself that would never happen to me. That I’d try to be like Peter Pan, never grow up, always retain a sense of wonder. Always fall in love, be surprised, be open to being hurt as much as I was open to being happy. But over the last twenty years or so I’ve felt it creeping up on me anyway. There was nobody before you for a long time. Nobody I loved. No one who surprised me or took my breath away. Until you walked into that party, I was starting to think I’d never feel anything that strongly again.”

He looked at Alec to see his reaction, but the Shadowhunter was looking down at his hands and Magnus couldn’t read his face. “What are you saying?” Alec’s voice sounded unsteady. “That you want to get back together?”

“If you want to,” Magnus said slowly, feeling uncertain and scared, not knowing what Alec would say, not knowing what he’d do if Alec would turn him down. He stared at Alec, wide eyed as Alec looked back at him, a look of surprise in his eyes.

“If you . . .” Magnus started again but the words caught in his throat. Alec’s eyes were wary as he regarded him, and Magnus’s heart fell.

“I don’t know,” Alec said, his voice sounded cold and Magnus thought at that moment he’d fall from the roof, feeling dizzy and scared, to face a world without Alec in it.

“Well,” he said, surprised to find his voice, “I can understand that you—I wasn’t very kind to you.”

“No,” Alec said in his characteristic direct manner, which Magnus loved so much. “You weren’t, but I guess it’s hard to break up with someone kindly. The thing is, I am sorry about what I did. I was wrong. Incredibly wrong. But the reason I did it, that isn’t going to change. I can’t go through my life feeling like I don’t know you at all. You keep saying the past is the past, but the past made you who you are. I want to know about your life. And if you’re not willing to tell me about it, then I shouldn’t be with you. Because I know me, and I won’t ever be okay with it. So I shouldn’t put us both through that again.”

Magnus pulled his knees up to his chest, to keep him from falling. He felt so vulnerable. Alec was right, he knew that now, and he wanted to tell him that he could have his past. That he could have everything. But the words wouldn’t come. He felt choked. “I love you,” he said quietly, looking at Alec with a yearning he couldn’t conceal.

“Don’t—” Alec said, he looked away as if he didn’t want to see Magnus. “Don’t. It’s not fair. Besides, I doubt I’m the first one who ever broke your heart.”

“My heart’s been broken more times than the Clave’s Law about Shadowhunters not engaging in romances with Downworlders,” Magnus said, and he heard how fragile his voice was. He knew he had to get out the words, and soon, before he’d lose him forever. “Alec . . . you’re right.”

Alec glanced at him. Magnus took a deep breath and continued.  “It’s not fair to you. I’ve always told myself I was going to be open to new experiences, and so when I started to—to harden—I was shocked. I thought I’d done everything right, not closed my heart off. And then I thought about what you said, and I realized why I was starting to die inside. If you never tell anyone the truth about yourself, eventually you start to forget. The love, the heartbreak, the joy, the despair, the things I did that were good, the things I did that were shameful—if I kept them all inside, my memories of them would start to disappear. And then I would disappear.”

“I . . .” Alec stammered.

“I had a lot of time to think, after we broke up,” Magnus said. “And I wrote this.”

He pulled the notebook out of his pocket, showing it to Alec. The strong wind tugged at it, flapping it open. “I wrote down my life.”

Alec stared at the notebook and then back at Magnus, his eyes wide. “Your whole life?”

“Not all of it,” Magnus said, apologetic. “But some of the incidents that have shaped me. How I first met Raphael, when he was very young. How I fell in love with Camille. The story of the Hotel Dumort, though Catarina had to help me with that. Some of my early loves, and some of my later ones. Names you might know—Herondale—”

“Will Herondale,” said Alec. “Camille mentioned him.”

Magnus held out the notebook to him and Alec took it, his fingers brushing the pages. “Were you . . . with him?”

Despite everything, all the anguish he felt, Magnus laughed and shook his head. “No—though, there are a lot of Herondales in the pages. Will’s son, James Herondale, was remarkable, and so was James’s sister, Lucie, but I have to say Stephen Herondale rather put me off the family until Jace came along. That guy was a pill.”

He saw Alec was staring at him, questionably, and he added quickly, “No Herondales. No Shadowhunters at all, in fact.”

“No Shadowhunters?” Alec sounded incredulous.

“None in my heart like you are,” Magnus said, knowing the words were more true than anything he’d ever said. He tapped the notebook lightly. “Consider this a first installment of everything I want to tell you. I wasn’t sure, but I hoped—if you wanted to be with me, as I want to be with you, you might take this as evidence. Evidence that I am willing to give you something I have never given anyone: my past, the truth of myself. I want to share my life with you, and that means today, and the future, and all of my past, if you want it. If you want me.”

He heard the hope in his own voice as he stared at Alec, anxiously waiting for a reply. Alec opened the notebook and gazed at the first page. Magnus didn’t know if he was reading it or just staring, thinking over Magnus’s question.

He knew everything depended on Alec’s decision now. His whole life, his whole future. Everything that was true, beautiful and meaningful. He didn’t know how to continue living without Alec in his life. He was holding his breath, trying not to panic. The moment seemed to last forever, but then Alec’s voice sounded clear in the night’s air.

“All right.”

At first Magnus couldn’t quite believe it, he turned towards Alec, he felt his eyes burning as he looked at him. “Really?”

“Really,” Alec said and reached out his hand. Magnus grabbed it and twined his fingers with Alec’s. He felt his heartbeat speed up as a happiness awoke in him, greater than he’d experienced in a long, long time. He reached out his other hand and cupped Alec’s jaw, pulling him towards him as he pressed his lips against Alec’s. The feel of Alec’s lips against his was so much more exhilarating now than it ever was. It felt as if an incandescent light shone up between them. Alec kissed him back, parting his lips and their tongues met, twirling around each other, slow and gentle. 

Magnus was aware they were sitting on a roof, visible for everyone who’d walk by, so he held back, knowing he’d have to wait for them to be inside the house to take this any further. He broke off the kiss and pressed his forehead against Alec’s, their eyes meeting.

“So I’m your first ever Shadowhunter, huh?” Alec said.

“You’re my first so many things, Alec Lightwood,” Magnus replied.

Alec smiled and his eyes were shining like they used to shine when he looked at him and Magnus’s heart jumped. He felt Alec squeezing his hand, “I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too,” Magnus replied and he reached up his hand, softly caressing Alec’s cheek. He felt as if he was burning, love for Alec coursing like fire through his veins. “I don’t think I ever loved anyone the way I love you.”

“Never?” Alec asked, incredulous.

Magnus smiled and shook his head, “Not like this, not so intensely and so much.”

He let go of Alec’s hand and reached into his other jacket pocket, where the velvet box with Alec’s ring was. He took it out and opened it. The Tiger Eye stone shone in the moonlight as Magnus took the ring out and slid it on his ring finger. “I can wear this now.”

“You received it!” Alec sounded surprised and rubbed his thumb over the stone, “I wondered about that. It looks perfect on you.”

Magnus smiled and shook his head, tracing the flame pattern on the silver band. “The Lightwood symbol,” he muttered, “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking it was beautiful and fitting for you. Tiger Eye Stone stands for right use of power.” Alec said.

“It does,” Magnus said, “And you have excellent taste. But you do understand this ring means we’re practically married now.”

Alec laughed, wrapped his arm around Magnus and pulled him close. “I do,” he said and his eyes were twinkling.


	75. Incandescent Light - Magnus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here goes: first of all I'm really nervous posting this chapter and the next one tbh. The title already tells you this is a Magnus POV and next chapter will be 'Incandescent Light - Alec'  
> So you're getting the same chapter twice. Although they will differ enough, I promise. And they are hardcore smut. Because you know, it has been weeks. And they're hot for each other.  
> So. Consider yourself warned. And also, I hope you guys won't think me totally depraved after reading this.  
> I <3 you all so much for being wonderful and leaving me the most amazing comments. I truly hope this won't destroy that!!  
> XOXO

####  _Magnus_

Alec’s proximity made Magnus burn. He felt a yearning to be closer to Alec, to seal their love, to be completely one with him. Alec was staring at him and then got up to his feet, pulling Magnus with him. They climbed up to the window and Alec jumped down inside his bedroom. Magnus followed after him. He stood next to the window looking at Alec, who walked to the entrance, took out his stele and drew a locking rune on the door.

Magnus felt oddly touched. For him it was a snap of the finger to lock that door. Yet Alec didn’t even consider asking him. How had he changed. Magnus remembered that night on the river, when they’d fought Valentine on his evil boat. _Fix my concussion, fly me back to_ _the_ _boat._ Alec had matured, Magnus could see it in everything he said and did. It made him long for Alec even more.

Alec turned towards him, the look in his eyes made Magnus feel lightheaded. So much love, so much passion. He never thought it was possible that someone would love him that much. And certainly not someone like Alec, a Shadowhunter with the blood of Angels soaring through his veins. Alec walked towards him now and Magnus met him halfway, they almost crashed into each other as he pressed his lips against Alec’s, kissing him hard.

Alec’s hands were on his shirt, he felt him shaking as he tore at the fabric, buttons skittering to the ground.

Magnus broke off the kiss and smiled down at Alec. “I forgot you’re an eighteen year old boy,” he said, “And this is what happens to eighteen year olds when they’re left dry for a couple of weeks.”

Alec shook his head impatiently, his hands were tearing at Magnus’s shirt, trying to remove it. Magnus brought up a finger and pressed it against his lips.

“Don’t worry, I can do it a lot faster,” he said seductively and flicked his fingers, removing every piece of clothing from both of them, and sending them to the corner of the room. He pulled Alec against him and kissed him, stumbling with him towards the bed. He needed Alec to be inside of him. He needed that more than anything. The hunger that overtook him was something primal and animal. He couldn’t explain it, he only felt that insurmountable need that must be satisfied, now.

Alec’s eyes were so dark blue, that they were almost black. It made Magnus shiver with a deep yearning. Too deep for words to express it.

“I want you in me,” he said in a low voice, “hard and fast.”

He let go of him then, turned around and leaped on the bed on his hands and knees. And then Alec was behind him, he felt him press against him. With an unexpected strength and speed he thrust deep and hard and Magnus whimpered from the pain the impact brought with it. He pressed his head in the pillow, and sunk further down on his elbows. His entire body was tingling and singing, pain and pleasure and yearning coursing hot through his veins as Alec slammed into him, not holding anything back.

And it still felt as if it wasn’t enough. Not close enough, not hard enough, not deep enough. Every thrust he felt resonating in his bones, and he thought he was going to collapse or burst or dissolve from the inside out. Alec came soon after, and Magnus was shuddering from the impact. Then Alec let him go and slid out of him.  

Without Alec holding him up, all strength left him and Magnus sank down flat on his stomach, he pressed his head in the pillow. Stars were bursting in front of his eyes and he was unable to think or move. All he knew was that he felt as if he were soaring high in the sky, and at the same time he felt cold and empty without Alec’s touch.

He heard Alec move and then his hands were on him and Alec pulled Magnus on top of him. Magnus shifted his legs between Alec’s and buried his face in his neck, inhaling his scent, reveling in the warmth of the naked Shadowhunter beneath him.

 “I’m sorry,” he heard Alec say, “I was… Did I hurt you, I’m sorry.”

Magnus’s heart skipped a beat, hearing Alec apologize, it was the last thing he wanted. “Don’t apologize Alec,” he said. “I asked for hard, didn’t I?”

Alec’s hands were slowly moving over his back and his buttocks, “But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Not all pain is bad,” Magnus said, “Besides, I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn. I’ll live.”

His strength was slowly returning, and he propped himself up to look in Alec’s eyes. He stared at him in awe and felt he hardly believed he had him back. They were together again and Alec was here in his arms. Alec was here! Alec was here!

He saw him intake a breath, his eyes darkening with passion, which made Magnus’s heartbeat speed up in anticipation for what was to come.

“You go,” Alec said, his voice rough with passion, “I’ll turn.”

Magnus stared down at him, smiling, and thinking there was no way he’d want Alec to turn. He wanted to look into those beautiful eyes, burning with passion for him.

“No,” he said, feeling a little mischievous, suddenly, “I want to see your face when I fuck your brains out.”

Alec’s eyes went wide but he nodded, seemingly speechless. Magnus moved his legs up and shoved forward, entering him in one smooth movement. All the world fell away at that moment. Alec whimpered at the impact, but he stared up at him and his eyes were shining, urging him on. There was no possible way for Magnus to hold back anymore at the sight of him. He was completely overcome with the strongest passion, all he knew was that his hunger needed to be sated. That he needed to be inside Alec, bury himself in Alec, staying there forever. He was home now.

Magnus stared down at him and saw him close his eyes and throw his head back in the pillow. Alec’s hands clenched tightly on the bedsheets, his knuckles white. Magnus noticed every line, every smooth curve of muscle in Alec’s arms as he marveled at the sight of him. Everything about him was so wonderful. Magnus couldn’t believe he was willing to be with him. That Alec would find him worthy enough. It was mind blowing to him.

Magnus moved inside of him, faster and faster and he felt the explosion coming, he was falling apart into a thousand little pieces as the orgasm overtook him. His body kept moving but all his strength left and he fell down against Alec. His breathing came in fits and starts as he slid out of Alec and moved a little away from him, so Alec could stretch his legs. Magnus was still breathing heavily and didn’t even try to control himself, he just let it go as he felt Alec’s arms around him, pressing him close. He subsided against the Shadowhunter, and closed his eyes, vastly enjoying the feel of Alec, his fingers trailing patterns on Magnus’s back.

“This… this,” Magnus mumbled, almost unable to form coherent sentences. “This was nothing like anything I’ve ever felt before. I don’t think I can think straight anymore.”

“I guess I was the one fucking your brains out, then,” Alec said, a smile audible in his voice.

Magnus chuckled, “I guess so,” he said as he nuzzled against Alec. He didn’t want to move away from him. He wanted to stay like this forever, never letting him go. He felt he was going crazy with want, even after having sex the way they just had, he still felt himself soaring with Alec beneath him. So he stayed on top of him, moving his head a little until his lips touched Alec’s throat.

He sighed against Alec’s skin. “Alexander?”

“Hmmm,” Alec hummed beneath him.

“What have you done to me?” Magnus said softly. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. You do this to me, you make me crazy.”

“Good crazy, I hope,” Alec whispered.

“Wonderful crazy,” Magnus replied, nuzzling closer to him.

“I don’t know what I’ve done,” Alec mused, as he reached out a hand and put a blanket on top of them.  “I don’t think I’ve done anything. I just love you, and you make me crazy too. You think I was thinking straight just now? I totally lost it, I don’t think I even knew what was up and what was down anymore.”

Magnus snickered as Alec continued, “Maybe it’s normal to get crazy when you love each other.”

“Maybe,” Magnus agreed, “I do love you, so much. I want to shout it from the rooftops.”

He pressed his lips against Alec’s neck and felt Alec tightening his arms around him. “I love you,” he whispered in Magnus’s ear.

Magnus smiled, feeling content. He believed it. Alec loved him, although he didn’t quite understand why. “Let’s do this again sometimes,” Alec added.

“Yeah, but not right now, please,” Magnus replied with mirth. “I don’t think I can handle this again. There will be nothing left of me, I’ll guarantee you that.”

“For now lying here, like this, with you, is fine too,” Alec said softly. Magnus felt his body relax under him as if Alec could fall asleep like this, which Magnus thought was quite impressive. However, there was something important he needed to say, so he moved up and stared down into Alec’s eyes.

“Will you move in with me, Alexander? When we get home? I don’t want to spend another day without you.”

Alec reached out a hand and caressed his cheek, a cute lopsided grin appeared on his face. “Of course,” he whispered, “I’d love to.” He scrunched his nose up adorably as he added apologetically, “But I can’t move in right away. My mother will stay in Idris for one week longer and I have to run the Institute in her stead. But as soon as she’s back I’ll come. I’ll come and live with you.”

Magnus felt a smile coming on his face as immeasurable happiness fell over him like a blanket. Alec’s eyes were shining with an incandescent light, and he so wanted to kiss him. He brought his lips down on Alec’s and Alec met his and they kissed, soft and tender. And it turned out they did still have some passion and energy left as the kisses grew more intense and deeper. Alec’s tongue twirling against Magnus’s, his hands on his back, pressing him closer, they kissed for a long time. Each kiss a promise of love and happiness, and of the joyous wonder of being together, belonging together. After almost losing each other, they found each other again in the warmth and the moonlight that shone through the window, illuminating them.


	76. Incandescent Light - Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, Alec's POV. Once again trigger warning for explicit sexual content.  
> I loved all your wonderful comments on Magnus's POV. I hope y'all love Alec's side of the story just as much! <3

####  _Alec_

_Alec could see the path in front of him very clearly: He could hand back the book, walk away from Magnus, find someone else, some Shadowhunter to love, be with him, share the kinship of predictable days and nights, the daily poetry of an ordinary life._

_Or he could take the step out into nothingness and choose Magnus, the far stranger poetry of him, his brilliance and anger, his sulks and joys, the extraordinary abilities of his magic and the no less breathtaking magic of the extraordinary way he loved._

_It was hardly a choice at all. Alec took a deep breath, and jumped._

_“All right,” he said._

_Magnus whipped toward him in the dark, all coiled energy now, all cheekbones and shimmering eyes. “Really?”_

_“Really,” Alec said. He reached out a hand, and interlinked his fingers with Magnus’s. There was a glow being woken in Alec’s chest, where all had been dark. Magnus cupped his long fingers under Alec’s jawline and kissed him, his touch light against Alec’s skin: a slow and gentle kiss, a kiss that promised more later, when they were no longer on a roof and could be seen by anyone walking by._

_“So I’m your first ever Shadowhunter, huh?” Alec said when they separated at last._

_“You’re my first so many things, Alec Lightwood,” Magnus said._

  * City of Heavenly fire, page 666-667



* * *

 

Alec smiled at Magnus then, feeling lightheaded and happy, happier than he’d felt in a long time, happier than he had ever felt in his entire life. “I love you,” he said, simple, squeezing Magnus’s hand.

“I love you, too,” Magnus whispered, touching Alec’s cheek. “I don’t think I ever loved anyone the way I love you.”

“Never?” Alec asked, incredulous.

Magnus shook his head, “Not like this, not so intense and so much.”

He let go of Alec’s hand and took a familiar looking black box out of his pocket and opened it. He took out the Tiger Eye stone ring Alec bought for him and slid it on his ring finger. It was then that Alec noticed Magnus’s fingers were devoid of rings, which made the ring stand out even more.

“I can wear this now.” Magnus said.

“You received it!” Alec exclaimed as he reached out and rubbed his thumb over the stone, “I wondered about that. It looks perfect on you.”

Magnus smiled and shook his head, tracing the flame pattern on the silver band. “The Lightwood symbol,” he muttered, “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking it was beautiful and fitting for you. Tiger Eye Stone stands for right use of power.” Alec explained.

“It does,” Magnus said, “And you have excellent taste. But you do understand this ring means we’re practically married now.”

Alec laughed, wrapped his arm around Magnus and pulled him close. “I do,” he said softly, suddenly overcome with a strong longing to touch Magnus and kiss him and love him for everything he just said. For changing his ways, for giving him his life and his story and everything that entailed. The promise of a future together. For not leaving him alone.

He scrambled to his feet and pulled Magnus with him, up the roof and through the window into his bedroom. He jumped lightly down from the windowsill, Magnus following him gracefully. With two long strides Alec was at the bedroom door, he took out his stele and drew a quick locking rune on the door and then turned around towards Magnus.

The warlock was standing next to the window staring at him, a look of awe and wonder and a strong yearning in his eyes. The look was flaring up a blaze in Alec’s stomach. Just as Alec started towards him Magnus moved and they almost crashed into each other. Alec grabbed Magnus’s collar, and Magnus brought his lips down on Alec’s, hard. Alec pulled at Magnus’s shirt and ripped it open, buttons flying through the room. He wanted the garment gone, feel the bare, soft skin of Magnus against his.

He needed him now, wanted him now, more than anything. After all these weeks of misery and heartbreak, Magnus was back in his arms and Alec couldn’t think, couldn’t slow down, knew only how badly he wanted him. Everything inside of him screamed for it.

Magnus broke off the kiss and stared at him, smiling a little mischievously. “I forgot you’re an eighteen year old boy,” he said, “And this is what happens to eighteen year olds when they’re left dry for a couple of weeks.”

Alec shook his head impatiently, not wanting to talk or tease, but to kiss and undress and make love. But Magnus brought up a finger and pressed it against his lips.

“Don’t worry, I can do it a lot faster,” he said, seductively and flicked his fingers.

The next moment Alec felt his clothes fall away from him and from Magnus, too. They were both completely naked, from head to toe, and from the corner of his eyes he saw a heap of their clothes on the floor. Magnus pulled him close and brought his mouth back on Alec’s and they almost stumbled over each other as they hurriedly tried to reach the bed. Magnus reached between them and Alec felt his hand on his cock, covering him in warm oil. Magnus looked down at him, his eyes dark with desire, “I want you in me, hard and fast.”

Alec sucked in a breath as Magnus turned around and leaped on the bed on his hands and knees, his back towards Alec. At the sight of the naked warlock in front of him, Alec lost his shit completely and he crawled behind Magnus on the bed, grabbed his hips with both hands and shoved his cock between Magnus’s butt cheeks. Before he knew it he was inside of him and he thrust deep and hard and let out a loud moan at the feeling of tightness and heat all around him. Magnus underneath him, whimpered at the touch, which Alec barely registered.

He started to move, his body taking over. He couldn’t think straight, all he knew was this feeling of heat and overwhelming ecstasy as he thrust into Magnus again and again. All the misery and desperation from the weeks before slipping out of his mind and his body. There was nothing now, only Magnus and the heat and the love and the movement. He couldn’t _think_ , he could only move with an intense speed and strength. Hard and fast, per Magnus’s request. His hands were digging into Magnus’s hips, his moans getting louder with each thrust until the tight coiling in his belly exploded violently and he cried out. He rocked two or three more times, until he was completely spent, inhaling deeply, trying to catch his breath as he slid out of Magnus and sat back on his knees.

Upon leaving him Magnus sank down through his hands and knees and laid flat on his stomach, his head pressed in the pillow. Alec flipped over to lie on his back and grabbed Magnus with two hands, pulling him on top of him. Magnus buried his face in Alec’s neck and Alec was suddenly worried, thinking he’d gone too rough.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I was… Did I hurt you, I’m sorry.”

Magnus’s voice resonated against Alec’s neck, sounding muffled, “Don’t apologize Alec. I asked for hard, didn’t I?”

Alec caressed Magnus’s back softly, “But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Not all pain is bad,” Magnus said, “Besides, I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn, I’ll live.”

Magnus lifted his head then and propped himself up on his elbows, looking into Alec’s eyes. His look made all the worry Alec felt disappear like snow before the sun. Magnus’s eyes were dark with passion and he looked at him as if he were some miracle he stumbled upon by mistake.

Alec’s breath caught in his throat and he felt an overwhelming yearning, wanting Magnus to enter him, to make love to him. No. Making love wasn’t good enough. He wanted him to fuck him.

“You go,” he said, his voice low and urgent, “I’ll turn.”

“No,” Magnus said, a small smile playing on his lips, “I want to see your face when I fuck your brains out.”

Alec’s eyes went wide and he sucked in a breath, nodding his consent, not able to say anything intelligible.

Magnus moved and Alec felt his cock between his butt cheeks and then he shoved forward and entered him, in one smooth movement he was completely sheathed inside of him. Alec yelped at the sudden impact and the feeling of intense pain accompanying it. Magnus started to thrust and he didn’t hold back, slamming into Alec hard. Alec squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back.

The feeling of Magnus thrusting into him was all encompassing. He didn’t know or feel anything else anymore. _This is how it feels when someone fucks your brain out,_ he thought, _everything falls away._ All that was left was this feeling of passion, of urgency, the strong need for Magnus to thrust harder, move faster, despite the discomfort it brought with it. He wanted to say it, too, urge him on, but he couldn’t speak. He just didn’t have the ability anymore. He was soaring and Magnus was soaring with him. Reaching higher and higher peeks until the warlock suddenly let out a loud cry and Alec felt the hotness of his release deep within him.

Magnus rocked a few times more and then collapsed hard on top of him. He was heaving from the exertion as he slid out of Alec. Alec moved his legs then and threw his arms around Magnus, pulling him close. Magnus lay quiet for awhile, while Alec drew circles on his back with his fingers.

“This… this,” Magnus mumbled against him, “This was nothing like anything I’ve ever felt before. I don’t think I can think straight anymore.”

“I guess I was the one fucking your brains out, then,” Alec couldn’t help but say.

Magnus chuckled, Alec felt it resonating in his chest. Then Magnus moved his head a little until his lips touched Alec’s throat.

“I guess so,” he said. “Alexander?”

“Hmmm,” Alec hummed, he closed his eyes and relaxed in the warmth and the weight of the warlock on top of him.

“What have you done to me?” Magnus’s voice sounded genuinely surprised. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. You do this to me, you make me crazy.”

“Good crazy, I hope,” Alec said.

“Wonderful crazy,” Magnus replied as he nuzzled his nose against Alec’s neck.

“I don’t know what I’ve done,” Alec mused, as he reached out a hand and put a blanket on top of them.  “I don’t think I’ve done anything. I just love you and you make me crazy, too. You think I was thinking straight just now? I totally lost it, I don’t think I even knew what was up and what was down anymore.”

Magnus snickered as Alec continued, “Maybe it’s normal to get crazy when you love each other.”

“Maybe,” Magnus agreed, “I do love you, so much. I want to shout it from the rooftops.”

Alec smiled and tightened his grip around his boyfriend, pressing him closer. “I love you,” he whispered in Magnus’s ear. And then, as an afterthought, “Let’s do this again sometimes.”

“Yeah, but not right now, please,” Magnus replied, but there was laughter in his voice. “I don’t think I can handle this again. There will be nothing left of me, I’ll guarantee you that.”

“For now lying here like this, with you, is fine, too,” Alec said softly, he started to feel so relaxed that he thought he could fall asleep any minute now.

But then Magnus moved on top of him and propped himself up on his elbows, staring down at him. “Will you move in with me, Alexander? When we get home? I don’t want to spend another day without you.”

Alec looked up at him, Magnus’s eyes shining expectantly. Alec felt his heart burst with love for him as he reached out a hand and caressed his cheek. “Of course,” he whispered, “I’d love to. But I can’t move in right away. My mother will stay in Idris for one week longer and I have to run the Institute in her stead. But as soon as she’s back I’ll come. I’ll come and live with you.”

Magnus smiled down at him, looking infinitively happy. Incandescent light in his eyes as he brought his lips down on Alec’s and kissed him, soft and tender. And it turned out they did still have some passion and energy left as the kisses grew more intense and deeper. Alec’s tongue twirling against Magnus’s, his hands on his back, pressing him closer, they kissed for a long time. Each kiss a promise of love and happiness and of the joyous wonder of being together, belonging together. After almost losing each other, they found each other again in the warmth and the moonlight that shone through the window, illuminating them.


	77. Life Is Good

####  _Magnus_

Magnus woke up in Alec’s arms the next morning, feeling content and happy. Today they would go back to New York, and he was longing for it. For the comfortable normalcy of it. No more wars and craziness, just living in his loft in Brooklyn with the love of his life.

He moved in Alec’s arms, lifting his head to see the Shadowhunter’s face. He had his eyes closed, but he tightened an arm around Magnus, so Magnus knew he was awake. He moved forward and pressed his lips against Alec’s. Alec kissed him back, lazy and slow in the morning light. His eyes still closed, his hand coming up and curling in Magnus’s hair. Softly caressing his hair back from his face.

“Hmmm,” he hummed against Magnus’s mouth, “I can’t remember the last time I woke up like this. With you. Knowing there won’t be any war to fight today.”

Magnus buoyed himself up on his elbow and stared down at him. Alec was still brushing his hair back, gentle fingers against Magnus’s cheek. Magnus leaned into his hand, enjoying the warmth and the view. Alec looked very young and beautiful, well rested for once, his eyes a beautiful cobalt blue, his hair raven, splayed out over the pillow. “How did I get to have this hot boyfriend?” Magnus wondered aloud.

Alec grinned, and bit his lip, his tongue licking over his bottom lip. The movement made Magnus’s heart skip a beat. “But you are so beautiful,” he said and bend down to kiss him.

Alec drew him close and kissed him back. “Right back at ye,” he said when they broke away from each other. “You’re gorgeous.”

“I am,” Magnus affirmed, smiling mischievously.

At that point there was a loud bang on Alec’s door. “Alec, what the heck, why is your door locked?” Jace shouted from the other side of it. “We’re having breakfast in ten.”

“No way,” Alec shouted back, “I have to shower first.”

“Better hurry then,” Jace said.

Alec looked at Magnus apologetically. “You want to take a shower? Apparently we only have ten minutes.”

Magnus raised his eyebrows at him, “We’ll go together.”

Magnus checked himself then, not knowing if Alec would be okay with such an offer under his parents’ roof. But Alec sat up and nodded, “Good idea.”

He jumped out of bed, put on a boxer short and drew an opening rune on the door. “Come on,” he said, nodding toward the hall. He disappeared through the door, and Magnus quickly conjured up some pajama bottoms, put them on and followed his boyfriend to the bathroom.

Inside he saw Alec had already discarded the shorts and moved into the shower stall. Magnus locked the door behind him, dropped his pants and joined Alec in the shower. Alec was standing with his back to him and Magnus marveled at the muscled skin and the rivulets of water trailing down over his back and buttocks and his long muscular legs. He stepped forward and put his arms around Alec’s waist, pressing him close, he rested his chin on Alec’s shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the hot water and Alec’s body against his.

Alec turned around in his arms and brought up a hand, caressing his face. He leaned in and kissed him softly on the mouth as water ran over them both. “Screw Jace with his ten minutes,” Alec whispered as he traveled his hands down Magnus’s back and placed them firmly on his butt. Magnus gasped against Alec’s mouth as he felt his erection pressed against his thigh.

“I’d rather you’d screw me,” Magnus said as Alec’s mouth left his and he started peppering kisses on his nose, his cheek, his jaw. He chuckled against Magnus’s skin. Magnus closed his eyes and threw his head back as Alec’s mouth traveled down his throat, his collarbone and further down his chest and stomach. Alec went down on his knees on the wet floor of the shower, his mouth traveling over Magnus’s skin. From his abdomen to his hips and his thighs. He felt Alec’s breath against his inner thigh and his fingers brushing him.

Magnus looked down on him, wondering what he’d done to deserve him, thinking Alec was the only person in the world for over centuries who could make him feel the way he did now. So loved and so worthy, despite his blood, despite his background. Despite of who he was. Alec loved him.

Magnus sucked in a breath when he felt Alec wrap one slender hand around his base and his lips pressed against him. Alec raked his tongue over Magnus’s length all the way up and then he took him in his mouth.

The warmth and the pressure Alec was applying made Magnus ascend to higher plains, and at the same time his knees were starting to buckle and he had to lean back against the wall of the shower. The feeling of exquisite bliss overwhelming him as he was slowly led to an orgasm. Alec worked him with all he was worth and finally Magnus cried out and came in Alec’s mouth.

Alec sat back then, swallowed and wiped his hand over his lips. Magnus looked down at his boyfriend sitting on the shower floor, looking incredibly hot. He reached out a hand to pull him up when there was a loud banging on the door.

“Alec!” Jace again.

Alec swore under his breath, scrambled to his feet and hopped out of the shower. Magnus shoved the curtain aside and saw him wrap a towel around his waist and open the door an inch. “WHAT?”

“We have to leave,” Magnus heard Jace say, as he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower stall. He put his pajamas on, not caring about them getting wet and peeked over Alec’s shoulder at Jace.

“Why do we have to leave?” he asked Jace curiously. “Is there some emergency in New York I don’t know about?”

Jace, upon seeing him, turned red, which was quite unique. “I… uhm. Hi, Magnus. I didn’t know you were in here, too.”

“Evidently,” Magnus said dryly.

“But… uhm,” Jace stammered. “They expect us at the Gard at ten.”

Alec, in front of him, took a deep breath, turned around to grab his boxers and stepped out in the hall. Magnus took a towel, put it around his shoulders and followed his boyfriend. “Very well, then,” he said to Jace, and then walked with Alec to his room.

Once inside he chuckled, “Did you see his face?” he said to Alec, “I thought that was hilarious.”

Alec smiled at him and shook his head. “You almost gave him a heart attack,” he said as he raked with the towel over his hair. He continued to dry himself off and put on his clothes.

Magnus walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll finish what we started when we’re back in New York,” he said, raising his eyebrows at Alec and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Alec said and he winked at him. Magnus couldn’t help but laugh aloud.

“Did I just see you wink at me?” he asked.

Alec sat down on his bed to tie his shoelaces. He looked up, nodded and winked again. “Yeah, you didn’t think I was capable of that?”

Magnus reached towards him and pulled him up and in his arms. “You never cease to amaze me, Alexander!”

***

They stepped through the Portal, leaving Alicante behind and stepped out on the sidewalk next to the Institute. There Magnus kissed Alec goodbye and went back to his loft in Brooklyn. The Chairman greeted him enthusiastically when he entered. Magnus picked up the cat and petted him, sinking down on the sofa. “Have you missed me?” he crooned and the Chairman purred in reply.

He took out his phone, took a selfie with the cat and send it to Alec. _Home sweet home, but we miss you._ ©

The apartment was almost empty. He remembered sending every piece of furniture away because it reminded him of Alec. Now they could come back. He longed for the normalcy of the chocolate brown rug, the ottoman, his desk. He snapped his fingers to bring all of it back from the store room. When the dining table appeared, the keys were still on it. Magnus walked towards the table, picked them up and put them in his pocket, making a mental note to give them to Alec as soon as he saw him.

He send him another text. _I’ve got your keys. Gotta give them to you. OK if I drop by later?_

He looked around the room and added some extra knick knacks. A vase filled with tulips, some scented candles. A Christmas tree, why not?

After making coffee with Alec’s machine, Magnus took out his phone to check if Alec send him anything back.

Nothing.

Hmm…

He send him a third message. _What ya doing? Running the Institute takes up all your time I suppose?_

He checked his voicemail then, there were a few messages from clients, but not too much. Everyone knew about the war and Magnus’s stay in Edom. He called the clients back and set up appointments with them for later in the week.

When he hung up the phone, he looked at the screen and found there was still no reply from Alec. It nagged him. He knew Alec would probably be busy and not be able to check his phone all the time, but still… How hard was it to take a quick look and send him something back, even if it was just a smiley.

Magnus thought back at what he had said to Luke in Edom. How Shadowhunters will always choose saving the world over their relationships with their loved ones. Obviously, Alec found his job more important than Magnus. He felt insecure about that, and scared, too. What if Alec one day would decide that being with Magnus was not compatible with being the head of the New York Institute?

Ugh. He hated it when he felt insecure. He was a bit angry with Alec too, for goodness sake, they’d been through so much together. The least he could do was text him back. Magnus shook his head in frustration and dialed Alec’s number. He was going to shout at him.

The phone rang and rang but Alec didn’t answer. This made Magnus only more worried and upset. What was wrong? Did Alec change his mind about wanting to be with him? He couldn’t stand the uncertainty so finally he called the New York Institute, knowing someone had to pick up that phone.

“Alec Lightwood,” his boyfriend’s voice sounded through the receiver the second after the first ring. Sure, Magnus thought, this phone he answers straight away.

“Alec, hi,” he said, suddenly tongue tied.

“Hey,” Alec’s voice changed from formal to surprised and loving, in one instant.

The sound of his voice gave Magnus the courage to say what was on his mind. “Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

“Huh? I am answering the phone, aren’t I?” Alec said, confused.

“No, I mean your own phone.” Magnus said.

“Oh,” Alec laughed, “You tried to call me on my cell?”

“I did, yes. And I send you messages, too.”

“I guess now you know how it feels if you call and call the love of your life without them answering,” Alec teased.

Magnus felt extremely frustrated, “Why are you laughing at me? It’s not funny.”

“Yes, it is,” Alec replied. Magnus heard the mirth in his voice.

“You suck,” he said sullen. “I still don’t know why you haven’t answered me.”

“Because,” Alec said, “And you could have known this, since I told you, Jace broke my phone.”

“Jace broke your phone?” Magnus wondered if he misheard it.

“Yes, he did and I told you so. It was the same day we portalled to Alicante and since we’re only back today, I haven’t had the time yet to buy a new one.”

“Oooooh, yes, I remember now,” Magnus felt relief mingled with embarrassment. “So you weren’t ignoring me?”

“Of course not,” Alec actually sounded offended now, “Why would I ever ignore you, Magnus? Don’t be silly.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say for a moment, it did seem he’d been very silly.

“Do you want to come over, later?” Alec said, “Maybe for dinner?”

“Yes, yes. I’d love that.”

“Good, I’ll see you later then. Love you.” Alec said.

“Love you, too.

After hanging up the phone Magnus stepped out of his apartment and went to the city center. It was time to do some shopping. His boyfriend was in need of a new phone. And also, since he’d gotten a bracelet and a ring from Alec, it was high time to give him something back. After all, it was Christmas.

Walking through New York, Christmas carols were blaring from every corner, Magnus felt at home. He was glad to be back. In the first electronic store he walked into, he bought Alec the newest fairphone, and then he went to a jewelry store.

Alec was hard to shop for. He didn’t care about fashion, he didn’t care about clothes. He cared about weapons, but he had plenty, and Magnus couldn’t buy him a weapon here in New York, anyway. Alec wore one piece of jewelry, his family ring. Magnus browsed the windows of the jewelry store and decided on buying Alec a watch. A Moto 360. It had a heart rate sensor in it and an ambient light sensor. It was platinum and Magnus was sure it would look fantastic on Alec.

New phone, new watch, what else? Music! Yes. Magnus went to the music store next and browsed through the latest arrivals. Alec was not exactly educated when it came to music. He was a typical Shadowhunter, not into mundane things. But Magnus intended to change that, he wanted to bring him to concerts and movies. _The world is your oyster, Alexander, there’s so much you have to see, still._

He bought  the newest record of Adele and another less new one from Nas, an American rapper Magnus liked. He played ‘Cherry Wine’ on his phone while walking to the Institute.

_Life is good, life is good, yeah_ _  
_ _Life is good, no matter what, life is good_ _  
_ _Life is good, life is good, yeah_ _  
_ _No matter what, life is good_

Once he arrived at the Institute Magnus suddenly felt the insecurity and vulnerability from earlier rushing back to him. Of course Alec had invited him to come, but Alec was working now and probably in no mood to receive presents or talk about something as insignificant as music.

He rang the doorbell and Isabelle answered. “Magnus, what are you doing here?” She asked, and Magnus realized with a mild shock that she sounded a little wary.

“I’ve come to see your brother,” he replied, trying to sound confident.

Isabelle frowned at him, “I take it you guys are back together, since you slept at our place last night, and you’re standing here now?”

“We are,” Magnus nodded, “Didn’t Alec tell you so?”

“He did. And he seems insanely happy, too.” Isabelle pushed her hair out of her eyes impatiently. “But that doesn’t mean I will take you in with open arms. You hurt him. What’s to say you won’t do it again?”

Magnus smiled at her then. “I love that you’re so protective of him,” he said, “And I promise you I won’t do it again. It was a mistake, the biggest one I ever made, to let him go. I love your brother, Isabelle Lightwood. I love him and I intent to make him happy and stay with him for the rest of his life.”

She looked him in the eyes, a long and hard stare, and Magnus stared back. Then she nodded, “Good.”

She held her hands out and wrapped them around him, pulling him into a hug. Startled, Magnus hugged her back. “Welcome to the family, Magnus.”

“Thank you.”

“Alec’s in the library,” she said, as she let him go, “I was just going to Taki’s to arrange dinner, anything you want?”

“I’ll have whatever Alec’s having,” Magnus replied.

While he rode up in the elevator he thought back at their first date. On that date he was the one who ordered the food and Alec was the one having what he was having. It was strange how easily their roles had reversed, Magnus thought. Alec had been so insecure then, and now he was the one who was insecure. He needed Alec and he couldn’t stand the thought of Alec not needing him.

Alec was in the library as Isabelle had said, sitting behind a large desk, rummaging through some papers. His face shot up when he heard Magnus enter, and he smiled at him. Magnus crossed the room and went to stand in front of the desk.

“Look at you, all official behind that big desk,” he said, “I feel like I can’t approach you.”

Alec furrowed his brow, “What? Why are you saying that?”

Magnus shook his head, and decided to share his feelings with Alec. He’d promised him as much on that roof yesterday. “It’s just, you are the head of the Institute now. Being important and doing your Shadowhunter thing. It feels like that’s your destiny and the way you’re supposed to be, supposed to live. Dating a warlock doesn’t fit in that picture, and I guess I’m scared that one day you will come to this conclusion, too, and fall out of love with me. And I’ll have to live alone without you, which I can’t, because I need you.”

He shut his mouth then, feeling he was rambling.

Alec looked at him incredulous. “What are you saying? You’re actually thinking that one day I’d fall out of love with you?”

Magnus nodded and Alec shook his head. He stood up, walked towards him and took him in his arms. “You’re crazy,” his voice was a whisper. “You have no idea how extraordinary you are. And how extraordinary your love for me is. I can’t live without you.”

“But-” Magnus started.

Alec shook his head and pressed his lips against Magnus’s, stopping his words with a kiss. His lips felt soft and warm against Magnus’s and with it came the feeling of intense relief. Of course Alec was never going to leave him. It was a ridiculous thought.

Alec broke off the kiss and looked deep into Magnus’s eyes. “Don’t ever say something like that again, okay? It is not my destiny to be the head of this Institute. It’s my destiny to live my life with you. As soon as my mom’s back I’m outta here, assuming you’ll still have me.”

Magnus chuckled, “Assuming I’ll still have you!?! Now you’re being ridiculous.”

He fished Alec’s keys out of his pants pocket and gave them to him. “Here are your keys, so come home soon. And consider it your house as much as it is mine.”

“Thanks,” Alec smiled as he took them from him and put them in his pocket.

Magnus held up the gift bag then. “Here, I got you something.”

Alec took the bag and took out the phone first. “Ah, thanks, a new phone!” He smiled widely at Magnus and his smile felt as balm on a wound. Alec smiling at him like this, it was all he’d ever want from life. Alec continued his unpacking, taking out the box with the watch in it.

“Why are you spoiling me like this?” he asked as he put the watch on his wrist, admiring its beauty.

“Because I love you and you deserve it,” Magnus replied. “And also, I wanted to educate you on some music.”

“I see that,” Alec said as he regarded the records. “Adele. Never heard of her. Nas. What’s Nas?”

“He’s a rapper,” Magnus said. He snapped his fingers, raising up the volume on his phone to let Alec hear ‘Cherry Wine.’

_Life is good, life is good, yeah_ _  
_ _Life is good, no matter what, life is good_ _  
_ _Life is good, life is good, yeah_ _  
_ _No matter what, life is good_

Alec moved his head to the beat, “Nice,” he said.

“He didn’t mean it all that literally, though,” Magnus felt the urge to explain, “It’s actually a sad song about someone feeling rather alone. I guess he’s trying to convince himself with this ‘life is good’  chant.”

“Life is loss,” Alec said, “You told me that once. But it’s better than fantasy or make-believe.”

“I did tell you that,” Magnus smiled.

“So you were there? In that vision. How?”

“I don’t know. I know a lot, but I don’t know everything. My father gives me the ability to see true dreams and to be aware in dreams of others. But I don’t control it, and I don’t know who does.”

Alec looked at him intently, “There’s no world in which any of us can control everything. And I’m glad for that, I wouldn’t want to control everything. Just the little things, like making you smile.”

Alec flashed him a dazzling smile at that and Magnus felt his lips quirk up as he smiled back.

“See? Just like that,” Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus, “Life is good.”


	78. This Big Important Library Chair

####  _Alec_

Alec smiled and wrapped his arms around Magnus. “Life is good,” he said.

He pressed his lips against Magnus’s and pulled him close. He nibbled at Magnus’s lower lip and felt Magnus’s tongue press against his lips so he opened his mouth to let him in. Magnus felt warm and soft, his tongue raking Alec’s teeth. He tasted like sandalwood and coffee, something Alec associated with his loft in Brooklyn.

Alec wished he could come with Magnus to his loft. Live in Brooklyn instead of this cold Institute. He’d always regarded the Institute as home, but not anymore. Now Brooklyn was home for him and he was glad his mother would be back in a week so he could go.

For Alec Brooklyn stood for being true to yourself. For accepting who you are. In the Institute people would always look weirdly at him, always respect him a little less than anyone else. His father wasn’t an anomaly in the Shadowhunter world. Alec knew he would always have to face this, people loathing him or casting wary looks. Or people saying it was such a shame that no one would inherit his blue eyes. Those comments made him cringe.

Yet he knew, when in Brooklyn, all of that disappeared or didn’t really matter anymore. He was himself there and he was okay with who he was. Because Magnus was always there, reassuring him, telling him that he was worth it, and that made all the difference in the world to Alec. Knowing his warlock boyfriend loved him, no matter what.

Magnus slid his arms around him and pushed him against the desk as their kiss deepened. The marble of the table dug into Alec’s back, so he pushed Magnus away and led him around the desk to the big chair behind it. Magnus shoved him in the chair and straddled him, raining kisses down his throat. His hands were under Alec’s hoodie and he pulled it over his head.

“We’re going to finish what we started in the shower this morning,” Magnus whispered hoarsely in Alec’s ear before turning his lips back to Alec’s neck. Alec let his head rest against the back of the chair and closed his eyes as his boyfriend worked his mouth down over his chest. He felt Magnus’s hot lips on his nipple and moaned as the feeling of it tingled through his body, sending shivers down his spine. He forgot that they were actually sitting in a chair that belonged to the head of the Institute. That this was an official place, not a place to make out in.

He forgot about that and about everything else as Magnus slid off his lap and opened his pants. He went down on his knees between Alec’s legs and kissed his abdomen and trailed further down. The next thing Alec knew was the warmth and the wetness of Magnus’s mouth on him. He gasped and opened his eyes to look down at his boyfriend. Alec sighed as he let the feeling of pleasure come over him. His entire body was singing with happiness.

It wasn’t just the sex that made him feel like this. It was that boy. That boy between his legs, who loved him and whom he loved. And he felt so insanely lucky and happy that he was his. That they belonged together, however impossible that might seem, and how incredibly close they’d been to losing each other. He still could hardly believe that he had him back.

Magnus increased his rhythm and the pressure and all thoughts fled from Alec’s brain. He was overwhelmed by the strong sucking motion, which was almost painful. With a loud moan he came and felt his release leave his body and enter Magnus. When Magnus finally let go, Alec reached out to him, grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up and in his arms. Magnus buried his head in Alec’s neck and Alec felt his lips press against the soft skin there.

He nuzzled in Magnus’s hair. “Aku cinta kamu,” he whispered softly.

Magnus sat up in his lap and smiled at him brilliantly, “You speak Indonesian!”

“Well,” Alec confessed, “I only know this one line. But you could teach me more, if you want to?”

Magnus was trailing with his fingers over Alec’s bare torso, “I’d love that.”

There was a knock on the door and the next moment Isabelle strode in. “What the hell,” she yelled upon seeing them, but she smiled.

Magnus turned around in Alec’s lap and Alec was grateful that the warlock was blocking his sister’s view from him. It wasn’t as if she’d never seen him bare-chested before, but his fly was still open. He hastily reached down, shifted his underwear and closed his pants.

“Anywaaaayyy,” Isabelle said, “Dinner’s in the kitchen, whenever you guys are ready.”

She turned around and yelled on the way out, “Next time use a lock, or use a private room if you want to make out so badly!”

Magnus turned back and grinned at Alec. “But I actually liked the fact that we were doing this in this big important library chair.”

Alec smiled and pushed his boyfriend off of him, “Of course you do,” he said, “You’re so depraved, aren’t you?”

“And proud of it, too,” Magnus confirmed.

Alec picked up his sweater and put it on. “Come on, let’s eat.”

“Alexander?” Magnus asked, while they left the library. “Can I stay here with you tonight?”

Alec smiled widely at his boyfriend, who looked at him expectantly. “Of course. Always.”


	79. Moving Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! Another Malec reunited story. Hope you all like it! It's less teeth shattering sweet, I think. Thanks so much y'all for keeping me motivated :) <3

####  _Alec_

Alec was standing in the middle of his room, taking it all in. The walls were empty. The book shelves, too. The bed was made with simple white bedding. It looked like any other impersonal Institute room now. On the ground next to the door stood a dozen boxes with his books, clothes and other stuff in it.

He was moving out today. He always knew he would. It was very common, too, for Shadowhunters who turned eighteen to move out of their parents’ house. Go visit other Institutes, or go to Idris to study law or specialize in Rune studies. But he wasn’t doing any of that. Today he was moving in with his boyfriend, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. That made him stand out. No other Shadowhunter he knew of had ever done something similar. He knew people criticized him because of it. Being gay was bad enough, but dating a warlock… He was lucky there were new Accords, in which it was clear that Shadowhunters and warlocks were on the same side. If Magnus were a faerie they’d be in real trouble now. Since the Cold Peace it was forbidden to engage in any relationship with a faerie.

There was a knock on his door and he turned around to see his mother standing there. She’d come home from Idris early this morning. “Do you really need to leave today?” she asked, sounding a bit frustrated. “Why the hurry, Alec?”

“What hurry?” he said, “I have Magnus back now, I’m not going to waste another second apart from him. You have any good reason for me to stay here?”

Maryse looked a bit sad. “I love you.”

“Then wouldn’t you want me to do what makes me happy?” Alec answered.

Maryse nodded and Alec continued, “You don’t have to be afraid that you won’t be seeing me anymore. I’ll still come every day. I need to train. I need to make sure Jace won’t bring us into new trouble, as you know he’s a liability.” He grinned.

Maryse smiled back at him. “Good to know. You need any help with the boxes?”

“No, he doesn’t,” came a familiar voice from behind Maryse. Magnus appeared in the door opening and snapped his fingers. The boxes disappeared and Maryse yelped, startled. Alec laughed as Magnus stepped around Maryse and held up his hands, blue sparks sprang off his fingers.

“The perks of dating a warlock,” he said, wriggling his eyebrows.

“You should be careful with that,” Alec said, “How do you know the Chairman isn’t crushed by the boxes now?”

“Because,” Magnus said, looking at Alec accusingly, “I know where my cat is and I would never do anything to harm him.”

“How do you know where he is?” Alec asked. “You haven’t always known where he is.”

“Uhm,” Magnus looked contrite, “But now I do, because I locked him in the kitchen just to be sure.”

Magnus took Alec’s hand then and looked around his empty room. “Seems like you’re all done here,” he smiled down at him.

“But you will stay for dinner, tonight, won’t you?” Maryse asked.

“Sure!” Magnus beamed at her, “We’d love to, wouldn’t we, honey?”

“Hmphm,” Alec said, not feeling entirely comfortable with Magnus calling him honey in front of his mother.

They went to the kitchen where they found Clary and Jace cooking. “Hi, Magnus,” Clary said, “Jace and I made spaghetti for Alec’s farewell meal. Do you like spaghetti?”

“Who wouldn’t like spaghetti?” Magnus asked and then he looked at Alec. “Is spaghetti your favorite food?”

“I don’t really have one favorite kind of food.” Alec shrugged, “But I like the way Jace makes it. He’s actually quite good at cooking Italian.”

“You bet I am,” said Jace as he put a large bowl filled with red sauce on the table. They sat down with the five of them to eat.

“Where’s Isabelle?” Alec asked.

“She said she wasn’t in the mood for a farewell meal,” said Clary.

Alec shook his head and stood up. “I’m not having that. I’m going to talk to her.”

He stalked to Izzy’s bedroom and banged on the door. “Izzy, let me in!”

She opened it and he went in, leaning against the doorpost. Her room was a mess. Curtains closed, clothes strewn around everywhere. She sat at her vanity table, sulking.

“Please, come and eat dinner with us,” Alec said.

She shook her head and mumbled that she wasn’t hungry. He walked towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Look, I know it’s hard for you without Simon. But we are all here for you. You shouldn’t face everything alone. Come, join us. Talk to us. We’re worried about you.”

“Ugh, I hate it,” Izzy said, “I hate it when you’re all worried for me and look at me with those sad eyes.”

“We won’t look at you with sad eyes then, okay? I promise,” Alec coaxed. “We’ll make jokes and tell stupid stories and distract you.”

Isabelle smiled faintly up at him and he hauled her from the chair. Together they went to the kitchen where the others greeted her enthusiastically.

After dinner Alec hugged his mother goodbye, promising her he’d be here Monday at eight thirty for training. And of course, if there was any emergency he’d be available. “Brooklyn is not the other end of the world.”

“You know, I remember you saying you hated Brooklyn,” said Jace.

“I never said that,” Alec furrowed his brow.

“Yes, you did,” Isabelle chimed in. “When we found out the High Warlock of Brooklyn was having a party and we wanted to go, you were all ‘ _It’s in Brooklyn, I hate Brooklyn.’_ ”

“Oh well,” Alec shrugged, slightly embarrassed. “Things change.”

They took off then, walking through the cold winter night. The streets of New York buzzed with people going out, facing the cold, celebrating the first weekend of the new year.

“2008 is going to be our year,” said Magnus as he took Alec’s hand.

“How’s that?” Alec asked.

“We’re going to spend every day of it together,” Magnus replied, he looked at Alec and smiled brightly. His cat eyes shining in the dark. “Every day of this year and every year coming after it.”

“I’m up for that,” Alec said as he twined his fingers with Magnus’s.

* * *

 

His phone rang in the middle of the night. Groggily Alec reached for it, where it lay on his nightstand. The screen read Jace’s name and Alec hurriedly answered. “What’s going on?” he half whispered, not wanting to wake Magnus.

“Alec, can you come to Hotel Dumort?” Jace’s voice sounded hushed and urgent.

Alec slid out of the bed. “Why? Something happened?”

“We had a distress call coming from the hotel. There’s some feud happening between the werewolf pack and the vampire clan. The werewolves have surrounded the hotel, preventing the vampires from leaving. Clary, Izzy and I are already heading over there, but we could use some back-up.”

“I’m on my way.” Alec shut the phone and opened the closet to get out his gear.

Magnus stirred in the bed and sat up, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, go back to sleep,” Alec said.

“No!” Magnus said, indignant, “Tell me what it is?”

“A feud between vampires and werewolves. Apparently the downtown werewolf pack has ambushed Hotel Dumort.”

Magnus stood up, “I’m going with you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Alec said, “This is my job, not yours.”

“I know,” Magnus said, “But I want to come. I want to see what’s going on.”

His cat eyes were shining, he actually looked excited. Alec shook his head. “Okay, whatever. But you’d better not distract me.”

Magnus laughed and got dressed into black pants and a long flowing coat.

When they arrived outside Hotel Dumort, it was immediately clear what was going on. A big group of wolves were lined up in the street. All of them in wolf form, their head held back, howling at the full moon. Such a cliché, Alec thought.

Clary, Isabelle and Jace stood in front of the hotel, each one of them holding a seraph blade in front of them. Isabelle was coiling her whip in the other hand. Magnus shook his head. “What are they planning to do? Attack the wolves?”

“Not on my watch,” Alec replied grimly and broke out in a run. He planted himself firmly between the three Shadowhunters and the wolves and stared the biggest wolf in the eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, “Can you please turn and talk to me?”

Jace, behind him, snorted, “I don’t think they’re too keen on talking right now. They want to storm the hotel.”

“Do you know why?” asked Magnus, who came to stand beside Alec.

“No idea. We got a distress call from Hotel Dumort, saying the werewolves were besieging the vampires. The vampire who called acted like a prima donna, as if they have no clue what could’ve possibly provoked the werewolves.” Jace rolled his eyes.

“That’s just great,” Alec said, “Has anyone tried to call Luke?”

“Luke’s not in charge anymore,” Clary said, “But I’ve texted Maia.”

Right at that point a girl came running into the street. Alec turned and recognized her. “There she is,” he said.

Maia came to a stop in front of him, panting, her hands on her knees. Magnus reached out a hand and patted her back. “There, there,” he said softly.

Maia looked up then and stared at the wolves. “What the hell,” she shouted at them, “Have you guys lost it or something!”

“Are you the new head of the pack?” Alec asked her.

“Yes,” she said, “I’m really sorry. There was this vamp, named Elliott, who came to the Hunter’s Moon and picked a fight, so some of my pack decided to follow him here and attack the hotel. I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”

“Well, can you get them to leave?” Alec said, “Because it would be really nice if I could go home and sleep. It’s the middle of the night.”

“I  know, I know,” Maia looked desperate, “I’m really sorry.”

At that point the door of the hotel opened and a girl walked out. Alec recognized her as one of the vampires who’d come with Raphael to their table when he was out with Magnus at Taki’s.

“Lily!” said Magnus, “Good of you to come!”

The wolves behind them growled at the arrival of the vampire girl, but they subsided when Maia waved a hand at them and told them to leave. She was the Alpha, after all, they had no choice but to obey her. One by one they turned and strolled away, the last one clearly reluctant.

Lily’s high heels clicked on the pavement as she regarded the Shadowhunters with contempt. “I don’t know what you people think you’re doing here?” she asked.

“What?” said Jace, indignant, “We got a distress call from the hotel.”

“Not from me,” Lily said coldly, “I can handle my own clan, thank you very much.”

“It didn’t look like it,” Jace said and Alec held up a hand in warning and shook his head, “Jace, no.”

Lily rolled her eyes at Jace and turned to face Maia then. “Get your wolves in order, Maia. This was really annoying.”

“I know,” Maia said, her hands in her hair, “But you should not let vampires come to the Hunter Moon!”

“I can’t tell them what to do, or what not to do,” said Lily, “I’m not an Alpha, like you. We’re vampires.”

“Of course you  can tell them what to do, Lily,” Magnus said, “You’re their leader.”

Lily shook her head, but Maia looked at Magnus expectantly. “You’ll help us, Magnus? We have no clue how to lead.”

“Speak for yourself!” Lily said, angrily. “You’re the one without clues, I have plenty. Now that the wolves are gone, I guess this situation can be considered solved.”

She looked around, “Why are you still standing here?” she asked, regarding Alec.

Alec raised his eyebrows at her but didn’t answer. Instead he turned towards Jace. “Seems like we’re done here. You guys should go home.”

Jace nodded, high fived him and walked off with Clary and Isabelle. Maia was still talking to Magnus but Lily had left. “I’ll call you, okay?” Alec heard Maia say, she looked at Alec then, nodded and left.

Soon Magnus and Alec were standing alone in the empty street. Magnus smiled and grabbed Alec’s hand. “So, this is what it’s like, living with a Shadowhunter. Roaming around in the night through the streets of New York.”

They strolled off together, back home, to Brooklyn. “You’d better get used to it,” Alec smiled, “‘Cause I’m not going anywhere.”

“And I don’t want you to,” Magnus replied. “Life’s going to be an adventure.”


	80. The Werewolf and the Vampire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: a small part of the dialogue between Alec and Lily in this story is copied from Born Into Endless Night, a story you can find in the book Tales of the Shadowhunters Academy by Cassandra Clare.

####  _Magnus_

It was quite surprising to Magnus how fast life went after Alec moved in. And how fast he was used to Alec living with him. When he woke up the morning after the weird clash between the werewolves and the vamps he already thought it so normal and natural to find Alec in the bed beside him.

He woke up to the smell of coffee again and he loved it. And so the days slowly turned into weeks as 2008 unfolded in front of them. Alec would get up early every morning, make coffee, bring Magnus a cup in bed and leave for the Institute. He usually came home half way through the day. Spending the afternoon and early evening with Magnus, and then he’d go out again to hunt demons. On the weekends they’d go out together, for dinner, a movie or a concert. Sometimes together with Jace and Clary.

Life was good.

Maia called a few weeks after the werewolf incident at Hotel Dumort, asking if she could come over to talk a few things through. On Tuesday evening she came, and to Magnus’s surprise she brought Lily with her. Both girls were young and inexperienced and had difficulty leading their pack and clan.

Alec was out with Jace hunting demons, and Magnus missed him sorely. Mainly because the girls were shouting at each other and acting insufferable. He’d prefer an evening on the couch, watching a movie and nuzzling with Alec. Instead he had to listen to two teenage girls acting out against each other, both of them unwilling to listen to the other. He rolled his eyes at the Chairman, who jumped on the table, as if he were trying to come between the fighting girls.

Magnus had his hands in his hair, when the door opened and Alec finally entered. He jumped up to greet him, only to realize he wasn’t in the best mood.

“What happened?” Magnus asked.

“Jace happened,” Alec grumbled, “He assured me they were simple oblong demons and instead we walked into a dragon demon. They’re supposed to be extinct!”

He rubbed his arm with a pained face. “Are you hurt?” Magnus asked.

“I’ll be fine. That demon wrenched my arm almost out of the socket before Jace killed it.” Alec looked sour and Magnus couldn’t help but laugh a little, which made Alec only more mad. “If you’re going to laugh at me, please leave. Go back to your visitors.”

Magnus kissed him on the forehead before returning to the coffee table, where the girls were still shouting.

“You can’t just kill someone, Lily!” Maia said. She had her elbows on the table and her hands under her chin, an exasperated look on her face.

“Why not?” Lily asked, “This wolf of yours walked by our hotel, on our grounds. We have every right to defend ourselves.”

“But why would you want to kill him? Can’t you just tell him to go away?” Maia said.

“Because,” Lily rolled her eyes, “He won’t listen anyway. So why not kill him?”

“Ugh, you are so hopeless,” Maia sighed deeply. “Okay. You know what, I’ll tell my pack to stay away from the hotel from now on, if you tell yours to stay away from the Hunter’s Moon.”

Lily pouted but didn’t complain. _Good_ , Magnus thought, _we’re finally getting somewhere_.

Nothing was less true, because Maia launched the next problem, some difficulty they were having with mermaids and Lily suggested again to just go ahead and kill them.

“You can’t be serious!” Maia shouted, losing her patience. “You can’t solve every problem with killing.”

“Explain why not?” Lily replied and their argument started again from the beginning.

It went on like this for quite some time and Magnus had no idea how to solve it. He was about to throw them out of the house when Alec suddenly interrupted. He was standing at the counter, staring at his phone when Lily said, again, that she didn’t understand why she couldn’t kill the mermaids.

“Do you know, Lily…” Alec’s voice sounded cold. Magnus turned to his boyfriend, surprised. Maia and Lily, too, looked astounded at Alec’s sudden intrusion.

Alec continued as if he didn’t notice, “…that you spend more than half the time you are speaking baiting Magnus and Maia, instead of offering suggestions? And you make them spend about the same amount of time arguing you down. So you’re making everything last twice as long. Which means you’re wasting everyone’s time. That’s not a really efficient way for a leader to behave.”

Lily looked absolutely shocked and then horrified for being told off. She hissed at Alec, “Nobody asked you, Shadowhunter.”

“I am a Shadowhunter,” said Alec, very calm. “The issue you’re having with the mermaids. The Rio de Janeiro Institute was having the same problem a couple of years ago. I know all about it. Do you want me to tell you? Or do you want to end up with half a dozen tourists on a boat to Staten Island drowned, at least that many Shadowhunters asking you embarrassing questions, and a little voice in your head saying, ‘Wow, I wish I’d listened to Alec Lightwood when I had the chance’?”

Magnus stared at his boyfriend, impressed, and gave him a wink when he locked eyes with him. Alec replied with a little lopsided grin, which Magnus thought was so cute. Maia ate a cookie while Lily sulked, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Don’t waste my time, Lily,” Alec said after a few moments. “What do you want?”

“I want you to sit down and help me, I suppose,” Lily grumbled.

Alec raised his eyebrows and went over to sit at the table. He explained to the girls what the Rio de Janeiro Institute had done, and thankfully they both agreed it was a better idea than killing the mermaids.

Magnus loved how sure Alec was, how clear his ideas were and how he wouldn’t let Lily get away with stupid remarks. And he saw she was taking him seriously. At the end of the evening she even shook his hand and smiled.

“Come back next week,” Alec said, “And we can evaluate how it went. Okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded. “And you’ll come, too, Maia?”

“Of course,” Maia said. “Thank you, Alec.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, “Now leave, please. I’m tired.”

He smiled at them though, indicating he didn’t mean it that harshly.

After he closed the door Magnus pulled him in his arms. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he said, relieved, “I thought I was going crazy. I was this close to sending them both to the Sahara, I’m telling you.”

Alec grinned and kissed the tip of Magnus’s nose. “No problem, I liked it, actually.”

“You and that vampire girl, who would have thought.” Magnus smiled. “Maybe now it’s my turn to get jealous.”

“Ha,” Alec smirked, “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard tonight. And you know how many ridiculous things I’ve heard! Now, come, I really want to spend some time relaxing on the couch before going to bed. My shoulder still hurts.”

“I’ll give you a rub,” Magnus wriggled his hands, “They say I have magical hands.”

Alec laughed and it was the most wonderful sound Magnus had heard all day. He decided he was going to make him laugh some more.

They sat down on the couch and Magnus took off Alec’s sweater, conjured up some massage oil and made Alec sit on a pillow on the ground in front of him. He slid his hands over Alec’s toned shoulders, digging his fingers into the muscles, adding pressure and taking away the tension.

“You always work so hard for everyone else,” he said as Alec craned his head, closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “Now it’s my turn to take care of you.”

“You always take care of me,” Alec replied while Magnus moved his fingers over Alec’s shoulders and neck.

“Of course, it’s my job,” Magnus said. “It’s literally my job.”

“How so?” Alec asked.

“Didn’t you know? I was walking around Fifth Avenue and saw this poster, which said Alexander Lightwood was in need of a boyfriend/caretaker for sore muscles after demon hunting,” Magnus heard the mirth in his own voice.

“And you applied?” Alec asked, grinning.

“Yeah,” Magnus pulled him a little closer, “Cause I thought, fuck, he’s hot.”

Alec laughed aloud at that.

“I would’ve done it for free, too,” Magnus continued, “But it’s nice to get a little money out of it.”

“You’re getting paid???”

“Yes. I asked to be paid in the blood of virgins, but they said i already took the one virgin they had. So now your mother pays me five hundred dollars a day for it.” Magnus said, “I’m surprised you didn’t know?”

“No way!” Alec turned his head and looked at Magnus, smiling widely, his eyes shining blue. “You get five hundred dollars from my mom each day for taking care of me? I’m getting some of that money.”

“No. It’s my money,” Magnus said, “You’re not getting any of it. I need it to buy you presents and massage oil.”

Alec snickered and pressed his head back against Magnus. “You’re one crazy warlock.”

“You said it,” Magnus replied, “I like it when you laugh.”

“Well, you’re good at making me laugh, so it’s your lucky day, I guess.” Alec raised his eyebrows meaningfully and scrambled up from the floor. Standing in front of Magnus, he reached for him and pulled him up and into his arms. The next thing Magnus knew were Alec’s lips on his as he kissed him thoroughly breathless.

When he finally broke off the kiss Alec stared into his eyes, smiling widely. “Come on,” he said and turned around, pulling Magnus with him to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: For those of you who know Skam, you know I stole the whole paragraph were Magnus says he’s getting paid for taking care of Alec from Skam. For those of you who do not know Skam: Go, google it and watch it, now! Season 3. You’ll love it, I guarantee you that. You’ll love it and it will wreck your life. Also, my next story is a Skam Season 3 fanfiction. <3


	81. A Cat's Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The idea for A Cat’s Party is from An Illustrated History of Notable Shadowhunters and Denizens of Downworld, from Cassandra Clare and Cassandra Jean. On the Alec Lightwood-page it tells the story of Alec throwing Magnus a cat’s party.

####  _Alec_

The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. Winter passed and Spring came. Every Tuesday evening Maia and Lily came over, and Alec discussed their problems with them. He was surprised he got along with them so well. Especially Lily. Alec had never been too keen on vampires, but his reserve had melted away, and he realized he actually liked Lily. Magnus said it was because she relied on him, turned to him, and he always responded to that. That was true, Alec knew that, but he also really liked her.

And it was to her he turned for help with his crazy idea of throwing Magnus a cat party. Magnus was always so full of vibrant and crazy ideas and surprises. Just last week he had taken Alec on a short trip back to Paris. “We’re still in love in the spring,” he’d said, “And I want to celebrate that in Paris.”

They’d been to the padlock bridge to look up their padlock, and were surprised to find it was still there. And now Alec wanted to return Magnus the favor by surprising him. He’d gotten the idea to throw him a cat party after the last party they’d been to together, where Magnus had been thoroughly irritated by some of the drunk guests.

When they came home and were greeted by Chairman Meow, Magnus picked up the cat and said, “A party with just cats, wouldn’t that be something? No more drama!”

Alec had shaken his head, but had remembered the comment. So a week later, when Lily came by, he asked her to help him with the cat party.

“Why do you want a cat party?” Lily arched her eyebrows and shook her head, looking very exasperated.

“I want to surprise Magnus with it,” Alec said, and he explained the story and his idea.

“You’re crazy,” Lily said, “But I’ll help you. What do you need from me?”

“Cats, of course,” Alec smiled, “I need at least fifty, for it to be a proper party.”

“I didn’t realize how crazy you were,” Lily shook her head again, “I don’t know if I should ever ask your advice again.”

That’s your loss,” Alec said and punched her shoulder. She laughed then, and said she’d take care of it.

“Do they need to be alive?” she asked.

“Of course,” Alec said, appalled, “Why would I want dead cats at a party?”

“I don’t know, maybe you have a fetish I don’t know about.” Lily shrugged.

She left then, but made good on her promise, texting him a few hours later that she’d bring the cats by the apartment this coming Friday. Alec asked Maia to call Magnus away for some fake emergency that day.

Soon after Magnus left, the doorbell rang and Lily arrived with two dozen vampires behind her, each of them carrying two travel cages for cats. The vampires put the cages down and left instantly, Lily was the last of them. She gave him a wink as she closed the door. “Have fun with the cats.”

Alec opened all the cages, and the cats spilled out through the room. _This is by far the most crazy thing I’ve ever done_ , he thought, although maybe going into Edom on that rescue mission had been crazier.

He put down dozens of dishes with different types of cat food in them, with chicken, salmon, tuna, even mice. Cats like mice, right? He even arranged for a milk bar, with different types of lukewarm milk, which could be tapped and put into tiny bowls.

He had bought decoration, too. Party hats with a picture of Chairman Meow on them. Streamers hanging down from the ceiling, the cats could play with them. He bought a big, sequined bow for the Chairman which he bound around his neck.

When everything was set up he went to the bedroom to change. He’d actually bought a suit, an Armani suit. He remembered Magnus asking him if he couldn’t own one designer suit. Now, finally, Alec had given in and bought one, knowing it would make his boyfriend happy. The suit was a dark blue and he’d bought a matching tie. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he had to admit he was looking quite alright.

He walked back to the living room, where the cats were prowling around, covering almost every surface of the room. Alec looked around, satisfied with his work. The milk bar was ready for him to start tending. There was a table with drinks and snacks for Magnus, the only non-feline guest. There were plenty of cat toys strewn around the room. Some of the cats had already begun attacking the streamers hanging down from the ceiling.

Alec texted Maia that he was done. Seconds later she replied, saying Magnus was on his way. Alec put on some music and mixed up a Margarita for his boyfriend. He went outside and stood in front of the door, smiling widely when he saw Magnus coming up the stairs.

He looked stunning as always, his hair styled, he was wearing tight fitting black jeans, a dress shirt and a long blue coat hanging open over it.

Magnus looked up at him, startled. “What?” His eyes went wide when he regarded Alec’s clothes, “What are you wearing? Is that an Armani suit?”

Alec smiled. Of course that would be the first thing Magnus would notice. Magnus had arrived at the second floor landing now, standing in front of him, looking shocked but also clearly admiring his view.

“Wow,” he said, “You look amazing!”

“Thanks.”

Magnus circled around him, brushing with his hand over the fabric of Alec’s jacket. “But what are you doing outside the apartment?”

“Waiting for you,” Alec said and he held out the drink.

Magnus took it, and kissed him on the lips. “This is nice, thank you.”

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Alec said and he opened the door.

“Another surprise?” Magnus stepped over the threshold and stopped dead in his tracks. He stared down at the cats meowing all around him. “What’s this?” He turned around and looked at Alec, astonished, but smiling.

“I’ve thrown you a cat party,” Alec said, as he presented two party hats and put one of them on Magnus’s head and the other on his own.

Magnus’s cat eyes were shining as he squatted down and patted the cats, paddling around him. “I can’t believe you did this!” He stood up and turned to Alec, pulling him close.

“You are so amazing!” He exclaimed and then he kissed Alec. Alec closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of Magnus’s lips against his. It never got old. He parted his lips and let Magnus’s tongue in, he felt him raking over his teeth and twirl around his own tongue. Magnus tasted like the Margarita he just drank.

When they broke off the kiss, Alec brought Magnus into the room and showed him the milk bar.

“There’s whole milk for the skinny drifter cats. Here’s 2% fat. There’s low fat for the obese ones,” he pointed out the different taps. Magnus tried all of them, handing out little bowls of milk to the cats, who came swirling around him.

“What’s this one?” He pointed to the far end of the bar.

“It’s Lactaid, for when you’re lactose intolerant,” Alec explained and Magnus laughed heartily at that. “And there’s also chocolate, but that’s not really good for the cats. So better not use that one.”

Alec took Magnus by the arm and led him away from the bar. “I was actually supposed to tend the milk bar so you can go dancing with your guests.”

There appeared a gleam in Magnus’s eye. “There’s this one thing I do with the Chairman, maybe it works with all the others, too. Watch!”

Alec stood back against the wall, next to the bar and watched closely. Tiny laser beams erupted from Magnus’s fingertips through the air. Electric green and neon pink, the beams shot through the loft in a wild rhythm, bouncing off the walls and the ceilings. Hundreds of little pecks of light were moving rapidly through the room.

And the cats went ballistic. All of them started moving and it looked as if they were actually dancing to the music. Their little feet tripping over the floor, they all twirled around each other in a difficult choreography, trying to chase the lights. Magnus turned his head toward Alec and laughed.

“Look at that Siamese one,” he pointed to a pale cat with a black snout, black ears and blue eyes.“I think the Chairman has an eye on her.”

Alec followed Magnus’s finger and noticed the Chairman carefully approaching the pale cat. When he arrived close enough for her to notice him, she perked up her head and looked towards him. There were a few minutes in which not much was happening. Both cats were staring down at each other, as if waiting for something. But finally Chairman Meow made a move and softly bumped his nose against the Siamese cat. She jerked back and Alec wondered if she was offended by the Chairman’s bold move, but she got her act together fast and replied with an even bigger nose bump.

Then an intricate dance unfolded, where they both moved around in circles, as if chasing the other cat’s tail.

Alec looked at Magnus who was laughing out loud at the spectacle. Alec tapped a few more bowls with milk and stepped away from the bar towards the middle of the room, where his boyfriend was standing, playing with the cats.

He laid his hands on Magnus’s waist and Magnus turned toward him. Together they swayed to the music, Katy Perry, coming from the speakers.

 _I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter_  
_Dancing through the fire_  
 _'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar_

Magnus chuckled, “Great choice of music! Very fitting.”

“I have a great teacher,” Alec replied as he swirled Magnus around on the dance floor.

The cats, all around them, were continuously chasing the laser beams. And in the corner of the room Alec saw the Chairman having a good time with the Siamese.

“I love this party,” Magnus murmured as he laid his head against Alec’s shoulder. “I still can’t believe you did this. How did you pull this off?”

“I had Lily help me,” Alec replied as he nuzzled against Magnus’s hair. “I love you, I wanted to do something for you.”

“You’re the best,” Magnus said, “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Alec whispered, “Don’t talk like I’m better than you, I’m not. I know you told Luke you thought we couldn’t be together because I have angel blood and you have demon blood. But that’s not true. It’s not blood that makes you who you are. You are a wonderful person, loving, open and caring. Don’t act like that isn’t true just because you have an awful father.”

“My father makes me who I am,” Magnus said.

“So does mine. Yet he’s a homophobe,” Alec replied, “Does that make me a homophobe?”

Magnus chuckled, lifted his head and looked into Alec’s eyes. His cat eyes shining green-gold, he looked as beautiful as ever. “No,” he said.

Alec reached out a hand and caressed his face, “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, “I love you.”

They kissed again then, longer and more intense as before. Alec felt the heat flare up in his body and longed to take this to the bedroom. But there were the cats to consider, they couldn’t let them walk around the apartment like this. He broke off the kiss and shook his head, frustrated with himself.

“I didn’t think this through,” he said, “Now all these cats are here, and I’ve no idea how to get rid of them.”

At that point Chairman Meow came walking towards them, nuzzling his head against Alec’s calves, wailing softly. Clearly he did something that made the Siamese want to turn him down, the poor tabby. “I think the Chairman is jealous,” Magnus observed, “All our attention goes to other cats, and now it seems they’re not even that into him. Luckily I have a solution.”

He winked at Alec and snapped his fingers. All the cats, save the Chairman, disappeared, together with the traveling cages.

“Where are they?” Alec asked.

“I sent them to a bunch of eight year olds spread throughout the city,” Magnus smiled, he squatted down and picked up the Chairman, nuzzling his nose in the cat’s fur.  “But you’ll stay here with us, my baby,” he crooned at the cat.

Alec went through his knees, took the cat out of Magnus’s arms and placed him back on the ground. “Now I’m jealous,” he said.

Magnus laughed and wrapped his arms around Alec. Alec lost his footing and together they fell on the floor, entangled in each other. Their lips touched and Alec’s hands were on Magnus’s shirt now, unbuttoning it rapidly, he slid his arms inside and touched the bare skin of Magnus’s chest.

They kissed and pulled and tugged at each other, their lips and hands touching and caressing. Alec’s heart was racing and he wondered if there was ever going to come a moment in the future where Magnus’s touch would not have this effect on him. He didn’t think that was possible.

He thought back to that day when they had their first date, and ended up on Magnus’s apartment floor just like this. Everything had changed between then and now, and yet nothing had changed. Magnus still had the power to turn Alec into fire and liquid at the same time. He lost himself in Magnus’s touch. He took off his jacket and shirt and pulled Magnus’s shirt from him. Magnus buried his head in Alec’s neck, and Alec felt him bite down, leaving a mark just as he did on their first date. Alec whimpered softly and pressed himself into the contact.

Magnus’s hands traveled down over Alec’s body, to his belt and he unbuckled it. He slid his hands over Alec’s pants and hooked his fingers in the loopholes, pulling Alec on top of him. The fire in Alec grew and grew, and he lost all sense of place and time. All that existed now was the feel of Magnus against him.

Magnus. His black hair. His cat eyes shining green and gold. His caramel colored skin. His sharp angular cheekbones. His lips, those lips on him. Making him soar. Making him moan. Making him fly. And then the stars fell. And the rainbows came. A kaleidoscope of color. Alec closed his eyes and gave himself over, lost in passion, lost in love.

They kissed, they touched, they made love on the floor of the living room. Magnus had conjured up a nice fluffy rug to lie on and a fire place, too. Afterwards, they lay in each other’s arms, enjoying the warmth and the glow of the fire.

“This was the best party I ever had,” whispered Magnus, his hands trailing through Alec’s hair. Alec lay on Magnus’s chest, his finger’s tapping a rhythm on Magnus’s abdomen.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he replied.

“And I liked your suit,” Magnus said, “So, does this mean you’ll wear suits more often?”

“Hmmm,” Alec murmured against Magnus’s chest, too relaxed and warm to say anything else.

“You know, it’s Luke’s and Jocelyn’s wedding next month. Maybe we could buy you a second suit for that occasion?” Magnus asked.

“Sure,” Alec replied. “Anything you want.”

“All I want is you,” Magnus said, “And for you to be happy.”

“I am happy.” Alec closed his eyes then and felt the world slowly slipping away as slumber pulled him away from reality into a world of dreams. But he still felt Magnus’s arms around him, holding him. _I am happy._


	82. Bonfire Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the epilogue of City of Heavenly Fire and contains dialogue from that book.

####  _Magnus_

It was Luke and Jocelyn’s wedding today and Magnus had been spending part of it with Simon. Clary and Isabelle had convinced him to help Simon get his memory back. There was the possibility of Ascension, a ritual that could turn ordinary mundanes into Shadowhunters. After the Dark War the Shadowhunters had declined in numbers and they needed new recruits. So why not Simon?

It wasn’t that difficult. Simon had to be willing, which he was, and all Magnus had to do was cast a spell to give Simon the Sight. And so he did. It didn’t give Simon back his memories, but it was the first step to Ascension and after he’d drank from the Mortal Cup, he’d remember. It was still going to be a long way, with years of training at the Shadowhunter Academy, but in the end he’ll get there.

Magnus took him to Luke’s barn for the wedding. The barn where they once summoned the Angel that gave them the sword with Heavenly Fire. It was a warm evening in May as Magnus and Simon came up the path. Magnus pointed to the party tent and indicated for Simon to follow the path.

He stood still then and watched as Simon entered the crowd. As soon as people started recognizing him they all came whirling around him, pulling him into tight embraces. Werewolves, mundanes and Shadowhunters. Mortals. All of them so full of love and life. So vibrant. Like lights shining too bright because they would be quenched soon.

Magnus sighed deeply, he knew he could be terribly melancholic, especially at parties like these. They reminded him of the mortality of everyone around him, while he stayed the same, forever.

He noticed Alec, as he always did, talking with his father, but then he broke apart from the party and started walking up the hill toward him. He smiled his beautiful smile that made his whole face light up as he reached him and went to stand beside him. They looked down at the people still swarming around Simon. Isabelle stood a little apart from the group, and Magnus could read the pain in her face.

Magnus had given Simon the Sight, but that didn’t mean he had his memories back and he didn’t remember Isabelle or the fact that they’d been dating before Magnus’s father had taken Simon’s recollections from him.

“You’d almost think she didn’t care,” said Alec. “But I’m pretty sure she does.”

Magnus looked at him and reached out to straighten his tie. Alec had made good on his promise, and they’d bought a suit for him for this wedding. Magnus was extremely proud of his boyfriend, looking striking in the suit, which had a slender stripe of blue that brought out Alec’s eyes.

“You’re correct,” Magnus said. “She cares too much; that’s why she’s standing apart.”

“I would ask you what you did, but I’m not sure I want to know,” Alec said, as he turned and leaned his back against Magnus. “It was good of you.”

Magnus wrapped his arms around him and put his chin down on Alec’s shoulder.

“You make the choice you have to make at the time,” he said in Alec’s ear. “You hope for no consequences, or no serious ones.”

“You don’t think your father will be angry, do you?” Alec asked, and Magnus couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“He has a great deal more to pay attention to than me,” Magnus said. “What about you? I saw you talking to Robert.”

“Yeah,” Alec said. “He was telling me that his parabatai, Michael Wayland, was in love with him. And that he’d turned him down and their bond had been destroyed because of it. He said he was ashamed of himself. ‘I look at you, and I see the mirror of my own unkindness to someone who never deserved it.’ That’s what he said. And that I am a much better man than he ever was.”

“You know, I would not have guessed that. And I’ve met Michael Wayland.” Magnus said, genuinely surprised. He shrugged, “Goes to show. ‘The heart is forever inexperienced’ and all that.”

“What do you think? Should I forgive him?” Alec asked, as he nuzzled his head against Magnus’s.

“I think what he told you was an explanation, but it wasn’t an excuse for how he behaved. If you forgive him, do it for yourself, not for him. It’s a waste of your time to be angry,” Magnus said, “when you’re one of the most loving people I’ve known.”

“Is that why you forgave me? For me, or you?” Alec asked, his voice sounded curious.

“I forgave you because I love you and I hate being without you. I hate it, my cat hates it. And because Catarina convinced me I was being stupid,” Magnus replied truthfully.

“Mmm. I like her.”

Magnus reached his hands up and flattened them against Alec’s chest, feeling the Shadowhunter’s strong heartbeat under his fingers. It reassured him. “And you forgive me,” he said. “For not being able to make you immortal, or end my own immortality.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Alec said. “I don’t want to live forever.”

Magnus felt Alec’s hand on his now, their fingers twining together. His heart ached a little at Alec’s words. Not because Alec said he didn’t want to live forever, but because Magnus would live forever. And he didn’t quite know how to deal with it. Especially not with the idea of living without Alec.

“We might not have that much time,” said Alec softly. “I’ll get old and I’ll die. But I promise I won’t leave you until then. It’s the only promise I can make.”

“A lot of Shadowhunters don’t get old,” Magnus said, he felt sad and wished they could change the subject.

Alec turned around in his arms then and looked at him. “Even if it were just days, I would want to spend them all with you. Does that mean anything?”

“Yes,” Magnus said, and he felt a little happiness mingle with the sadness because Alec was trying to reassure him. “It means that from now on we make every day matter.”

Alec smiled, “Good, then you have to stop moping and looking so worried. All we have to think about is now. Life is now, let’s enjoy it together.”

“Let’s,” Magnus agreed as he pulled his boyfriend close and kissed him softly on the mouth.

* * *

 

####  _Alec_

Alec was standing on the side of the dance floor, looking at the bride and groom doing the opening dance together. Jace, next to him, bumped his shoulder, “Get me another beer, will you?”

“Get it yourself,” Alec said, exasperated.

“Okay, okay,” Jace replied, holding his hands up by way of apology. “Where’s Magnus, by the way?”

“Over there,” Alec gestured towards the barn, where Magnus was in deep conversation with Catarina.

Clary walked up to them, smiling. “Jace, Alec, do you want to come up to the lake with us? It’s very pretty there.”

“Who’s us?” Alec asked.

“Simon, Maia, Isabelle,” Clary summed up, “Whoever else wants to come. Ask Magnus!”

Alec nodded and turned, walking up to the barn.

He saw Catarina touch Magnus’s arm and heard her say, “I am sorry about Raphael, by the way. I never got a chance to say it. I know you saved his life once.”

“And then he saved mine,” Magnus said, and looked up as Alec reached them.

Alec nodded at Catarina. “Magnus, we’re going down to the lake,” he said. “Do you want to come?”

“Why?” Magnus inquired, raising his eyebrows.

Alec shrugged. “Clary says it’s pretty,” he said. “I mean, I’ve seen it before, but there was a huge angel rising out of it, and that was distracting.” He held his hand out. “Come on. Everyone’s going.”

Catarina smiled. “Carpe diem,” she said to Magnus. “Don’t waste your time fretting.”

She walked away and Magnus took Alec’s outstretched hand.  “What are you fretting about?” Alec asked.

“Catarina says I worry too much for those I love,” Magnus replied as he twined his fingers with Alec’s.

“What do you worry about?”

“You, mostly. You chasing demons, you getting hurt. You leaving me.”

“Oh, come on,” Alec said, a little frustrated, “I thought we were done with that now. I won’t ever leave you. I love you.”

“I know,” Magnus smiled at him, “And I’m going to stop fretting now and enjoy this day with you.”

“Life is now,” Alec said as he leaned in and pressed his lips against Magnus’s cheek.

Together they walked down to the lake where the others were already gathered. Magnus snapped his fingers and several blankets appeared on the damp grass for them to sit on.

“Where did these come from?” Maia asked, startled at the sudden arrival of the blankets.

“They came out of thin air,” Magnus claimed and Alec shook his head.

“You really should stop stealing,” Alec commented. But Magnus laughed and pulled Alec down on one of the blankets.

Magnus put an arm around him, “I’ll return them, clean and well.”

Alec went to lie down on his back next to his boyfriend, their fingers entwined, they stared up at the starry night.

“It looks like that night in Venice,” Alec murmured, thinking back to the evening in that gondola. “I remember you saying New York was tarnished with light pollution. This is awesome, the stars so bright.”

“It was so dark, that I saw bright spots everywhere,” Magnus said.

“They’re not spots, they’re constellations,” Alec said, “Look.”

He took Magnus’s hand and pointed to one of the many constellations, “Do you see that bright star there?”

He moved their arms, his index finger pointing out the stars. “Then go all the way to the left, and then up and back to the bright star and then upwards. That is the Lion.”

“Is it?” Magnus sounded genuinely interested and Alec turned his head to look at him.

“You already know this, of course,” he said.

“As a matter of fact, constellations are not my forte,” Magnus confessed, “I’ve once looked into it, but that was a long time ago and I forgot. Honestly!”

Alec raised his eyebrows, “Okay?”

“You don’t believe me?” Magnus sounded a bit offended, but Alec saw he was smiling.

“Sure, I believe you.” Alec smiled back at him and turned his head to look at the stars again, “Let’s see, what else do we have? Oh yes, here’s the Bow.”

He pointed, his fingers entwined with Magnus’s, “You see those three bright stars really close together? And then below them and above them those stars, it looks like a sort of sandglass. That’s the archer. And then a little further to the right, you see him holding the bow.”

“You know I’m a Sagittarius,” Magnus said, “Makes sense to fall in love with an actual archer.”

Alec chuckled. He propped himself up on one elbow and stared down at the warlock lying next to him on the blanket. “It makes sense for me to fall in love with a Sagittarius,” he said as he bowed down and pressed his lips briefly against Magnus’s.

Jace, beside them, coughed and Alec jerked his head back, sat up and jabbed Jace’s side with his elbow.

“Hey!” Jace said, indignant, “What did I do to deserve that?”

Alec wrapped an arm around Jace’s neck and held him down, while he used his other hand to pound on his head. “What didn’t you do?” he said, laughing as Jace tried to wriggle himself free from his grasp.

“Boys, boys,” Clary sighed, “Don’t fight.”

Magnus sat up, looking amused. “It’s time for a bonfire,” he said, “We could make S’mores.”

Magnus flicked his wrist, as if shooing away a fly and the next thing Alec heard was the crackling sound of fire. He let Jace go then and sat up. Magnus handed him a marshmallow on a stick, to hold it over the fire.

“Some music would be nice, too,” Magnus said and flicked his wrist again. Soft music was playing from a Bluetooth box.

 _Days like these lead to_  
_Nights like this leads to_  
 _Love like ours_  
 _You light the spark in my bonfire heart_  
 _People like us we don’t_  
 _need that much, just someone that starts  
starts the spark in our bonfire hearts_

They were discussing how long to hold the marshmallows over the fire. Magnus wanted them to turn brown, almost black, which Alec thought was quite disgusting. Alec heard Jace beside him quote Milton’s Paradise Lost to Clary.

“Freely we serve

Because we freely love, as in our will.

To love or not; in this we stand or fall.”

 _We are free_ , Alec thought. _Free to choose, free to love. It’s what makes us human_. Alec looked at Magnus then, their eyes caught and he gave him a knowing smile. He thought he understood his fretting. He was afraid Alec would change his choices. He remembered Magnus asking if he was supposed to be jealous of Lily. The idea was ridiculous of course, Magnus might be bisexual but Alec certainly was not. Yet, behind Magnus’s innocent comment hid a world of insecurity. Alec reaching out for someone who needed him made Magnus afraid he would one day choose his higher calling over his love for Magnus. As if loving Magnus wasn’t the highest calling he had.

Magnus raised his eyebrows in question and Alec scooped a little closer to him and whispered, “I chose to love you. I will always choose you.”

Magnus’s face lit up with a smile as if a bright light started to shine from within him. Alec looked at him in wonder and could only think one word.

_Beautiful._

THE END

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song quoted: Bonfire Hearts from James Blunt.
> 
> Okay you guys, this chapter is officially the last one, since it's CoHF's epilogue. Yet, as you can see I've upped the chapter count with one more. So that means another chapter is coming. I also intend to write Born to Endless Night. Yo guys convinced me to do it! So thank you for that <3\. For encouraging me to continue!  
> For now this is the last one though. Ch83 is not ready yet, so the 'one chapter a day' tempo is over. Idk when 83 will be up. It's on its way though. And after 83 comes Born to Endless Nights, but I haven't even started that yet. So you'll have to be patient if you want more! Thanks to all of you for leaving kudos and comments. They mean a lot to me, truly! I love you all for being wonderfully committed to my story! <3  
> This is not the end!


	83. Feel It Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Nadoum and Hubby. Thank you so much for encouraging me to continue with this story! I <3 you guys!!!!  
> I hope to add even more after this chapter. Thanks to everyone for reading, leaving kudos and comments. And for being patient with me, now that I won't update on a daily basis anymore.  
> Trigger warning: inebriation and smutty, smutty content!  
> Disclaimer: Title chapter and song lyrics Alec is singing are from Weeknd, I Feel It Coming.  
> Disclaimer: Norwegian song lyrics are from Gabriele, 5 fine frøkner.  
> Disclaimer: There's a little dialogue in this chapter (between Magnus and Lily) which is taken from Born To Endless Night.  
> <3 Hope you'll enjoy this one!

####  _**Magnus** _

Magnus was immensely enjoying himself. He found a Norwegian singer online and played her music really loud, while cleaning the loft. He didn’t understand a word she sang, but he didn’t care about that.

Soon, Alec would be home and he’d ask him to dance with him. This music screamed for dancing. He thought it might be a good idea to fly that singer in for Alec’s birthday next month. His gorgeous Shadowhunter boyfriend was turning nineteen.

Nineteen. A year ago around this time Magnus had thrown a party where they first met. And how Magnus had fallen for the Shadowhunter. Deep, deep, deeply in love. That hadn’t changed over the past year. If it had, it was because it had only grew even stronger, deeper still. He loved the fact that he knew Alec now. He knew Alec preferred eggs over pancakes for breakfast. He knew Alec could be grumpy if he hadn’t had enough sleep. He knew he could make Alec laugh by pretending to be a great Shadowhunter warrior. He’d jump through the house, practicing flips and would say with a low, booming voice, “The Law is the Law. It’s ridiculous, but it’s the Law nonetheless.”

Alec always laughed at that, although he’d also say, “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’d never do that,” Magnus would reply and flip through the room to land in front of Alec. “I think you’re an amazing Shadowhunter.”

It’s been a year and Magnus thought it was the happiest year of his life. Despite all the drama, the wars, their horrible break-up, his stay in Edom, which would haunt his dreams every now and then.

It was high time for a party, Magnus thought, and Alec’s birthday was the perfect occasion. Gabrielle, the Norwegian singer, echoed through the loudspeakers of the stereo.

_ Du får meg til å kjøre meg opp. Det e ingenting som kan kjøre meg ned. _

Magnus had no idea what it meant and decided to google the lyrics. While he was reading an English translation he heard the key turn in the lock and Alec entered. He’d been to the Institute to train and discuss a demon problem they were having the last few weeks. An eidolon demon was roaming New York bars and had been too cunning to be caught. Jace, especially, was very frustrated.

Magnus hopped from the couch and took Alec’s arm. “Come, dance with me. This music is awesome!”

Alec smiled, “You’re in a good mood.”

“Yeah, I feel like having a party,” Magnus said as he moved through the room on the beat of the music. “How about hiring this singer for your birthday?”

“My birthday isn’t for another month,” said Alec, but he indulged Magnus and moved with him, swaying his hips.

“Yeah, so? If we want to book her, a month would probably be too short,” Magnus said,  worried. “I think I’ll have to pay her double what she normally gets.”

“What is this music?” Alec asked, tilting his head a bit, “What is this language? I don’t understand a single word.”

“It’s Norwegian.” Magnus took his phone and checked the lyrics, “It’s about five women who go to a club.  ‘You make me drive myself up. There's nothing that can drive me down.’ Wonderful lyrics!”

Alec raised his eyebrows in question. “You crazy,” he established.

“You already knew that,” Magnus said and he reached out a hand and pulled Alec towards him. In reply Alec wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled against him.

“I like it,” he said in Magnus’s hair. “And if you want to book this Norwegian singer, I’m all for it.”

“Great!” Magnus was excited about it. He wanted to throw Alec the biggest party ever. Alec deserved it. “We’ll have cocktails, too. And I was thinking about a blacklight theme, how does that sound?”

“That sounds really good,” Alec lifted his head and looked into Magnus’s eyes. Magnus never grew tired of seeing those attractive blue eyes fixed on him. The way they shimmered, purely because Alec was looking at him. It was magical. Everything about him was more magical than any magic Magnus could do.

Alec leaned in and pressed his lips against Magnus’s, and Magnus closed his eyes and tightened his grip on his boyfriend. Alec softly nibbled on his bottom lip and then Magnus felt his tongue gently prodding against him. The kiss deepened as Alec pulled him closer and rolled his tongue around Magnus’s. He tasted like coffee and sandalwood and Alec. He tasted like surety and safety and peace. Magnus felt himself melt in his arms. His heart jumped and rejoiced, singing the well known refrain: Alec is here!

* * *

Alec’s birthday party was on a Friday. The entire loft filled up with people quickly. Jace, Izzy and Clary had been there for dinner and helped decorate. Around eight in the evening the Norwegian singer, Gabrielle, showed up. She was followed by Lily’s clan of vampires.

Magnus welcomed her and introduced her to Alec. “This is my boyfriend, Alec. He’s turned nineteen. And you’re his present!”

“That’s very nice,” Gabrielle said in perfect English. “Happy birthday, Alec.”

“Thank you,” Alec said. “You speak a good English!”

“I do? That’s great, thank you. I don’t sing it though, my songs are all Norwegian.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Magnus beamed at her, “It’s perfect, we love your music.”

Gabrielle smiled widely at that and then she went to set up her stuff and started her performance. The music was good and people were dancing. Magnus was bartending, wearing a glow-in-the-dark waistcoat. The room was slightly darkened with blacklight lights dancing through the air. People wore white clothes and fluorescent accessories. Every now and then at regular intervals showers of glitters fell down from the roof. It all looked very hip, Magnus was content with the result. Alec seemed to be having a good time, as well, as he saw him talking to Gabrielle, who was on a break between her sets.

Lily came up to the bar, following Magnus’s gaze. “I like Alec so much,” she said, her words were slightly slurring. Magnus laughed while he looked at the glitter in her hair, shining in the blacklight. “Especially when he gets snippy with me. He reminds me of Raphael,” she added.

“How dare you,” Magnus replied, indignant that Lily would compare his wonderful Alec to grumpy, little Raphael. “You are speaking of the man I love.”

It was only then that he remembered Raphael was gone. It was somehow still hard for him to believe. Raphael belonged to the group of people he’d thought would be in his life forever. And he forgot every now and then that this was no longer true.

And of course, Lily had been Raphael’s friend and official second in command for decades. She’d been loyal to him.

“Well, I loved Raphael,” said Lily. “And Raphael never loved anyone, I know that much. But he was my leader. If I compare anybody to Raphael, it’s a compliment. I like Alec. And I like Maia.”

Magnus smiled at her, and was about to reply, when she looked at him and added, “I’ve never been terribly fond of you. Except Raphael always said you were an idiot, but you could be trusted.”

Magnus thought back at Raphael, feeling a little melancholic but happy too, to hear Raphael spoke about him to Lily. “Do you want another drink?” Magnus asked. “I can be trusted to make you another drink.”

“Bring on the party O neg, I’m feeling frisky,” Lily replied. “I never thought I’d have to lead the clan. I thought Raphael would always be there. If I didn’t have the sessions with Alec and Maia, I wouldn’t know what to do half the time. A werewolf and a Shadowhunter. Do you think Raphael would be ashamed?”

Magnus put some O neg with an extra addition in a glass—some unicorn powder gave it its kick. He flicked his fingers, adding a touch of magic to make it taste just a little bit better and then he handed the drink to Lily.

“I don’t,” he told her, truthfully. He knew Raphael would understand that Lily had to do what she had to do to lead her clan. Magnus was sure he’d be proud of her.

Lily smiled, picked up the drink and walked over to where Alec was standing, still talking to Gabrielle. Magnus continued his bartending, smiling inwardly. Jace came over to the bar next.

“Hey bartender! Give me something with an extra punch,” he ordered.

Magnus rolled his eyes. Ugh. Jace could be so annoying sometimes. But he’d get what he asked for. Magnus put some faerie dust and stardust in a cocktail, thinking it would be enough punch to make him act all crazy. That’ll teach him to order a warlock around. He handed Jace the drink and Jace took a big gulp. “Aaah, good stuff!”

He stalked off into the crowd. Magnus chuckled, thinking they’d be in for a good show.

Later, when Gabrielle finished her second set, Bat, who was a pretty good DJ, took over. Alec walked to the bar, smiling widely. His eyes shining. “Magnus, come! You’ve been standing there long enough. Dance with me!”

Magnus frowned, he’d never seen Alec this excited to dance in public. And his eyes were shining a little too bright, too. “Are you drunk?”

“What? Drunk? No!!!” Alec grinned and took Magnus by the hand, pulling him away from the bar and onto the dance floor.

“You seem drunk,” Magnus laughed.

“I had some of that stuff you gave Jace. That was good stuff!” Alec smiled widely.

Uh oh. Didn’t see that coming. “How much did you have?” Magnus asked.

“Just a few sips,” Alec said while he swayed to the music and started singing along, a little off tune.

He wrapped his arms around Magnus’s waist and pulled him close. “I’m in love with your body, I’m in love with the shape of you,” he sang along with Ed Sheeran.

_ Oh my goodness, what have I done! _ Magnus thought. But the damage was done now, it would wear off soon enough and Alec wouldn’t probably even notice. Better to just go along with him.

They moved over the dance floor, Alec stumbled a few times and laughed.

“Okay,” Magnus said, “I think you’ve had enough. Maybe you should drink some water and lay down. I’m calling this party off, okay?”

“What? No!!!” Alec giggled. Magnus was pretty sure he’d never heard Alec giggle before.

“I think yes, before you pass out!”

“I’m not going to pass out. I want to dance, dance, dance!” Alec said.

Magnus shook his head but laughed. It was kind of funny, Alec acting all inebriated.

“Okay, one more song,” Magnus said, acting all parenty.  “But it’s getting late, so we should probably end this soon, anyway.”

It was true, it was heading toward four in the morning and people started leaving. Alec was jumping around as the last song played. “I feel it coming, I feel it coming, baby!” he sang along.

Magnus let him be but starting shooing out the guests. “Time for bed, everybody.”

Soon, the loft was empty, safe for Alec, who was actually moving quite smoothly along with the music. His hips swaying, his arms waving. Magnus regarded him for awhile, smiling, thinking how unbelievably cute he was.

He snapped with his fingers to summon the couch, it had been put away in their storage at the docks. But now it was needed again. He sat down on it, wrapped one leg over the other and watched his boyfriend dance.

I’m so lucky to have him, he thought, even though it’s the faerie dust that makes him act all crazy today. He’s wonderful nonetheless.

Alec moved toward the couch, smiling and pointing at Magnus to come. “ _ You've been scared of love and what it did to you. You don't have to run, I know what you've been through. Just a simple touch and it can set you free. We don't have to rush when you're alone with me. I feel it coming, I feel it coming. _ ”

He was standing over Magnus now and pulled him up and into the circle of his arms. Magnus felt his lips hot against his neck as Alec left a trail of kisses down to his throat. His hands were on Magnus’s waistcoat now and he started unbuttoning it. Magnus closed his eyes and let him. He was unstoppable anyway, in this mood. Alec took off his waistcoat and regarded him. “You are so beautiful,” he said. “Really, though. I mean it.”

Magnus chuckled, “I know you mean it, you don’t have to reassure me.”

“But I mean it,” Alec repeated as he hooked his fingers through the belt loops of Magnus’s pants and pulled him close. “I’m going to make you come,” he whispered, his voice low and urgent.

Magnus’s heart skipped a beat at hearing those words. Alec’s lips were on his again, parting them, and he slid his tongue in Magnus’s mouth. He tasted like strawberries, leaving Magnus to wonder what else he’d had to drink that evening.

But before he could answer his own question, Alec’s lips left his and traveled down while his hands unbuttoned Magnus’s tight fitting jeans and pulled them down. All thoughts about what drink Alec could have consumed flew from Magnus’s mind. The only thing he was still aware of were Alec’s hands on him. Sliding down his pants, Alec’s hands traveled with them over Magnus’s legs, all the way down to the floor. And then they traveled back up. Over his calves, his knees, his upper legs, his thighs.

Alec was sitting on his knees in front of him as his hands slid over Magnus’s briefs and he took them off too. “You’re so beautiful,” Alec said again. Magnus looked down on his boyfriend and sucked in a breath. Alec looked up at him, his eyes dark with passion. The giddiness of earlier gone. He was focused now.

What he did next came unexpected though. With a firm hand he pushed Magnus back, so he fell on the couch with a yelp.

“Hey,” Magnus said indignant, “What did you do that for?”

“I was thinking you were going to fall over after I’m done, so better lie down already,” Alec grinned, “I feel it coming!”

Magnus felt it coming, too. Because the next moment Alec grabbed his thighs and pulled him forward. He pressed his lips against the inside of Magnus’s knee and traced with his tongue all the way up to his inner thigh, kissing his groin and his balls. Magnus closed his eyes, threw his head back and moaned. Letting the feeling of pure bliss wash over him as Alec repeated what he did with Magnus’s other leg. It felt good.

The wetness and hotness of Alec’s tongue, as he flicked it out and started licking Magnus like a kitten, made Magnus crazy with want. “Alec,” he moaned, urging him on. And Alec listened and shifted between his legs. His hand wrapped around the base of Magnus’s cock and his lips were on him then. Raining kisses over his length until he finally, finally took him in his mouth. The world fell away at Alec’s touch. So hot and soft and hard at the same time, as Alec sucked and took as much of him as he could in his mouth.

Magnus opened his eyes to look down at his boyfriend between his legs. He wanted to feel him inside of him but he knew he had to wait and let Alec finish this first. And he really wanted him to finish, too. With every sucking motion his boyfriend made, he closed in on the precipice. He moved with Alec, thrusting in his mouth until he exploded and called out his name again. “Alexander!”

Alec let go of him then, sat back and swallowed. Magnus stared at him. “You make me crazy,” he whispered.

Alec smiled widely at him. “Good,” he said and then Magnus pulled him up and on top of him, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him savagely.

And Alec kissed him back. Drunk or not, his kisses were still the same. Open and enthusiastic, with all his heart in it. It was what made Magnus love him so much. He pulled off the sweater Alec was wearing and roamed his hands over the Shadowhunter’s back. Then his hands were on Alec’s pants, but since Alec was straddling him, he couldn’t reach them properly. Impatiently he flicked with his fingers to sent them to the laundry basket, together with his shorts. Leaving Alec naked on top of him. His hands traveled down over Alec’s butt and he pulled him closer. Closer.

Alec moaned softly as Magnus started to kiss his neck and down over his chest, nibbling on his nipple. His hands were on Alec’s thighs and he dug his fingers into the toned skin. It was not enough. He wanted the feel of Alec inside of him, so he pushed him off his lap and stood up from the couch. “I want you,” he whispered as he looked at Alec through hooded eyes. “In me.”

Alec bit his lip in the most sexy way imaginable as he stood up, too. “Here on the couch?” he asked.

“I see no reason why not,” Magnus smiled at him as he summoned a bottle of oil into Alec’s hands. Alec moved to stand behind him and Magnus shivered as he felt Alec’s hands on his butt. And then he felt his tip pressed against his entrance. He leaned forward, his hands on the couch to steady himself when Alec entered him. He gasped and Alec too.

“I’m seeing little stars,” Alec said behind him, slightly panting. His hands on Magnus’s thighs as he started to move. Magnus saw the stars too. More and more of them with each slow thrust. Despite his inebriated state, Alec knew what he was doing. He wasn’t being rough or hasty, but he took his time. One hand sliding to Magnus’s front, sliding around him, working him up for another erection. That wasn’t all too difficult.

Magnus gasped as the feeling of Alec everywhere was slowly taking him over. Everything Alec. Always Alec. To love him, there was nothing greater than that.

The movement of Alec’s hand and thrusts grew faster and the stars started to explode, one by one, until everything was one giant burst of light and Magnus came, bending even further forward till his head rested against the back of the couch. Alec thrust a few times more and let out a cry when he shot his release into Magnus. Both his arms encircled him from behind and he held onto him while he slowly came down from his high. He slid out of him then and went to sit on the couch, pulling Magnus down with him.

Magnus rested his head against Alec’s shoulder and sighed, content. “Did you have a good birthday?” he asked when he had his breathing back under control.

Alec circled his arm around him and pulled him a little closer. “The best.” He seemed to have sobered up a little bit.

There was a smile in his voice when he continued, “But can I ask you, did you put something in Jace’s drink?”

“What?” Magnus turned his head and looked his boyfriend in the eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about that drink,” Alec was grinning. “You think I didn’t notice?”

“Busted,” Magnus said. “But you weren’t supposed to drink from it.”

Alec laughed out loud. “I had a great time, though. So don’t worry about it. And Jace drank most of it, so I wonder if he’s running around in the streets naked right about now.”

“I certainly hope not,” Magnus chuckled.

Alec kissed him on the top of his head. “Thank you. For being wonderful.”

“Look who’s talking! You’re the one who always showers me with compliments and attention.” Magnus replied. “It’s been a year since you came here on your eighteenth birthday. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was so in love with you back then. At that point I already felt as if this was something so new and extraordinary. Something I never felt before. Who could’ve known, now we’re a whole year further, that I would love you even more now than I did then? I love you more and more each day.”

He felt Alec’s hand under his chin then, as his boyfriend lifted his head to him and pressed his lips in the softest of kisses against him. Magnus kissed him back, thinking for the millionth time how lucky he was with his hot, hot, hot Shadowhunter boyfriend.

When they broke off the kiss Alec whispered against his lips. “You know it’s the same for me. I love you. I always will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dear readers, thanks so much you all! I noticed a lot of you were disappointed that this is the last chapter. But it's not! I'm working on ch84 as we speak and after that I'm starting with Born to Endless Night. Looking forward to the Malec kids?!!?  
> Hugs you all really tight for being so wonderful to me!


	84. Christmas at the Lightwoods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my peeps! Here's the next chapter. I made a jump in time. It's been about 1,5 years since ch83. It's the end of 2009. Christmastime. In February 2010 Alec and Magnus leave for Idris. That will come up next. But for now enjoy this little story of Christmas (even though it's April, lol)  
> Lemme know what you think? And also, if you have any prompts or request, leave a comment. You never know, I might do something with it! As always I <3 you guys!!!

_**Alec** _

2009 was coming to its end. It was a cold December this year, and Alec shivered a bit in the snow, while walking with Magnus from the subway to the New York Institute on Christmas Eve. “Why is it so cold,” he moped.

Magnus laughed and put an arm around him. “I’ll warm you up, and we’ll be inside in no time, honey.”

“You don’t mind the cold?” Alec asked, regarding his boyfriend, who looked like he didn’t even notice the fact that it was freezing and little drops of ice were falling from the sky. Ugh, Alec hated winter.

“Don’t mind it as long as you’re with me,” Magnus smiled his beautiful smile, which warmed Alec’s heart, even though his lips were still frozen. He smiled back as he got his key out of his pocket and opened the door of the Institute.

In the rickety elevator Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and pulled him close, pressing a kiss against his lips. Alec breathed in his scent of sandalwood and lapsang souchong tea and sighed. “Can you believe this is our third Christmas together and we’re spending it here?” Alec said.

“Why is that a problem?” Magnus asked. “Don’t you love your family?”

“Of course I do, but I just prefer being with you, just the two of us. We could’ve gone tomorrow or on Boxing Day.”

“Come on, don’t be mopey,” Magnus smiled. "And you're supposed to do gifts on Christmas Eve, not on Boxing Day. That's just plain ridiculous."

“Mopey, is that even a word?”

“Of course it is. And if it wasn’t, it is now. Don’t you know I invent new words? Send them off to the Institute for New Words and in 2010 it will be in the official dictionary.”

“Institute for New Words, really?” Alec couldn’t help but laugh at that.

Magnus brushed with his hand over Alec’s cheek. “Made you laugh!”

In the hall they found Isabelle, who looked like she was waiting for them and was particularly annoyed as if they were hours late or something. “Finally, there you are!” she exclaimed, as she hugged Alec quickly. She walked over to Magnus and took his arm. “I heard you are going to the Shadowhunter Academy this Spring?”

“Well, I haven’t decided yet,” Magnus looked sour. “I don’t like it all that much, the Academy. And I’ve requested for Alec to come with me, but I haven’t heard back from them about that.”

“Of course Alec can come,” Isabelle said, as if she were in the hiring committee. “He could even teach those students some archery.”

“Hmm,” Alec grumbled, “Not sure I want that.”

Magnus had been asked to teach a class in the Shadowhunter Academy in Idris. He didn’t really want it, Alec knew, but he felt a responsibility. Both to his former friend and warlock, Ragnor Fell, who had taught at the Academy for years, and to Simon Lewis. Simon, whom Magnus had given the Sight, and now he was there, learning how to become a Shadowhunter. His Ascension was due this summer.

So Magnus had said he’d think about it, with the condition that Alec could come. “There’s no way I’m going to leave you here in New York for weeks on end,” he’d said.

“I don’t know if I want to go, though,” Alec had replied. “It sounds rather boring and Catarina said the food is awful.”

Magnus had laughed. “Not if I’m there.”

So now they were waiting for a reply from the Academy; if Alec could come, Magnus would go. And of course Alec would join him. Despite it being boring, he would never let his boyfriend take off for Idris without coming with him. It would also give him an excuse to visit his father again.

His contact with Robert over the years had been minimal. Robert was Inquisitor and lived in Idris full-time now. Alec didn’t mind it. Isabelle was the one who missed her father, Alec still felt uncomfortable around him. Knowing his father’s prejudice against gays.

Isabelle babbled to Magnus about how he should be kind to Simon from the moment Magnus got to the Academy, and if he knew a way to guarantee that Simon would make it through Ascension. “Maybe a little magic?”

“Isabelle, you know that’s illegal,” Magnus chided her as they entered the dining room.

“That never stopped you before,” Isabelle muttered under her breath.

Maryse was standing in the middle of the room, next to the set table, with Jace, Clary and a boy whom Alec didn’t know and had never seen before.

“Alec!” his mother greeted him happily and gave him a hug. He handed her the plastic bag with the Christmas pudding he brought with him. “Dessert.”

Then he turned to Jace, who high fived him and gave him a manly parabatai hug. Clary came up behind him and kissed his cheek.

“Who’s this?” Alec turned to the boy. He looked Indian, with bronze colored skin and big, chocolate brown eyes. He was very pretty. Beautiful, even. With those dark eyes and full lashes, and his black hair falling in waves over his forehead. Alec couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment.

“This is Sanjay,” his mother said.

Sanjay extended a hand and Alec took it. “Hi, I’m Sanjay Chadbury.”

“Alec,” Alec replied.

“I know that,” Sanjay smiled, showing him a row of perfect white teeth. “Everyone knows who Alec Lightwood is. And you…” he turned to Magnus, who had come up behind Alec and regarded him.

“You must be the High Warlock of Brooklyn.” Magnus inclined his head and shook Sanjay’s hand.

“The one and only.”

“I’ve heard so much about you, about the both of you, really,” Sanjay said.

“What did you hear?” Magnus asked, suspicion clouded his voice.

Alec looked at his boyfriend, frowning. What?

“Nothing but good things. How important you were in the War and everything,” Sanjay said.

“And why are you here now?” Magnus asked. The question sounded a bit rude, making Alec’s frown deeper. What’s wrong with Magnus, today? He’s never rude to guests like that. At least, Alec thought, most of the time he wasn’t.

“Sanjay is going to stay in the New York Institute for a couple of months,” Maryse said. “He just turned eighteen and it’s a common custom for Shadowhunters to visit other Institutes when they’re eighteen. To see what’s out there.”

“And you came on Christmas Eve?” Alec asked, a little surprised. He was sure the boy wasn’t here yesterday.

“Yeah, well, we live in Mumbai, in a Hindu area. We don’t really celebrate Christmas there,” Sanjay explains. “I hadn’t even thought about it until I arrived this morning. So I’m afraid I don’t have any presents with me.”

“That’s okay,” Maryse said. “It’s nice that you can have dinner with us and taste a little of the New York Christmas tradition.”

She looked around the room and nodded towards the set table. “Shall we eat?”

“Did you cook, mom, or Isabelle?” Alec asked.

Isabelle punched him, “Hey, I’m a great cook.”

“No, you’re not, and you know it,” Alec laughed, and put an arm around his sister.

They all went to sit down. Sanjay was sitting next to Alec, and during dinner they talked about his life in India and he told Alec the bow was his weapon of choice too. It was nice, because Alec could finally talk archery with someone who was into it as much as he was. Sanjay was asking him a thousand questions which Alec answered with enthusiasm.

They talked about perfect aim, about material for arrows. Alec suggested carbon, the material was light but swift. And then they talked about all the different runes that could be used on arrows. For swiftness and speed, and shooting in various angles.

“We can go to the training room after dinner, and shoot some arrows, try it out,” Alec suggested, while enjoying his mother’s perfectly cooked steak.

“That would be so awesome,” Sanjay beamed at him, and placed a hand on his arm. At the same time Magnus seemed to choke on his wine.

Alec turned to him and patted his back. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he grumbled, although he didn’t seem fine. “I’m going out for a smoke.”

“A smoke?” Alec asked, utterly surprised.

Magnus took a pack of blue cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and placed one between his lips. “Yes, a smoke.” He stood up and left the room. Alec looked after him and shook his head.

“I don’t understand what’s wrong with him,” he said.

“I do,” Jace replied, laughing.

“What is it?” Alec asked.

Jace shook his head. “Oh Alec, you are so utterly naïve sometimes.”

“I really don’t understand what’s going on right now.”

“No, I get that. Why don’t you go to the training room with Sanjay and shoot some arrows?” Jace said. Clary kicked him under the table. “Ouch, what did you do that for?”

“For you being completely annoying,” Clary replied. She turned and regarded Alec. “I’m thinking it’s a better idea to join Magnus for that smoke, Alec. I’d do that if I were you.”

Alec looked around the table. Sanjay, next to him, was suddenly very busy with his food. Maryse looked awkward and Isabelle was chuckling under her breath.

“Okay, you know what? I’ll do that,” Alec said, utterly frustrated with all his family members now. He stood up, following his boyfriend out of the room.

He was probably on the balcony in the kitchen. Alec went there and was relieved to find Magnus standing there, exhaling blue smoke.

He came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Magnus replied, but Alec could hear in his voice that it wasn’t true.

“Come on, tell me,” he pleaded. “Jace said I was being incredibly naïve, and now I feel really stupid.”

Magnus didn’t reply, instead he took another drag from his cigarette. Alec flexed his muscles, and with an extra burst of strength he flipped Magnus around in his arms, so he was facing him.

“Please? Tell me.”

“It’s stupid, I don’t want to tell you,” Magnus grumbled.

Alec pulled him close and nuzzled his nose against Magnus’s. “But I love you and I want to know what’s bothering you. Is it me? Is it something I did?”

Magnus closed his eyes briefly, and bumped with his nose softly against Alec's. “What do you think?” he asked softly.

Alec was quiet for a moment. Thinking back at the moment Magnus had stood up and what Jace had said afterward. _Why don’t you go to the training room…_

That’s when it dawned on Alec. Sanjay. The beautiful Indian boy. “Oh… oh…” he stammered, barely concealing a smile. “You’re jealous. Jealous at that Indian boy.”

Magnus tried to move away from him, but Alec tightened his grip on him. “Don’t wriggle yourself out of this, Magnus. Is this it? You’re jealous?”

“You make it sound as if it’s the most ridiculous thing ever,” Magnus moped.

“But that’s because it _is_ the most ridiculous thing ever,” Alec replied.

Magnus shook his head and looked him straight in the eyes. “No, it isn’t.”

“But-” Alec started. Magnus reached up his hand and placed a finger on his lips.

“No but, listen. He’s a Shadowhunter. He’s eighteen. He’s gorgeous. He’s obviously gay and into you. He likes archery. Need I say more.”

Alec took his hand from Magnus’s waist and entwined it with his boyfriend’s hand, removing his finger from his lips. “No, you don’t need to say more. You need to listen to me now. What you are implying is ridiculous. Because you’re forgetting one super important thing.”

He looked into his boyfriend’s eyes, squarely, appreciating the golden sparkle in them.

“What’s that?” Magnus asked when Alec stayed quiet.

“You actually need me to say it again? You stupid, insecure warlock. I love you. I love _you_. And no one else. No matter how eighteen, gay or beautiful they are. I don’t even see those things. I don’t see anyone but you. It’s you, it’s always been you, it will always stay that way. You really don’t know anything about us Lightwoods, if you still doubt that. We give our hearts away, wholly and freely. And without a return policy.”

He stayed quiet for awhile, watching Magnus as he let his words sink in. “How’s that for a speech?” he finally said.

Magnus gave him a small smile. “It’s a nice speech.”

“That’s all?” Alec raised his eyebrows. “What else can I do to convince you? We could go to the library chair and make out? Would that help?”

Magnus laughed now. “That would help.”

“Okay,” Alec smiled widely. “Let’s go!”

He let go of Magnus’s waist and pulled him by his hand toward the kitchen.

“What? Now? I was only joking!” Magnus said.

“But I wasn’t,” Alec said. “Come on!”

“But we’re in the middle of dinner,” Magnus struggled although he went with Alec through the kitchen to the hall.

Alec pulled him with him to the library. “Who cares about that? I don’t.”

“What about Sanjay?” Magnus tried again. “You don’t think it’s rude to leave your guest like that?”

“Who is Sanjay?” Alec asked as he opened the door to the library.

As soon as it closed behind Magnus he pulled his boyfriend in his arms and pressed his mouth against him. He parted Magnus’s lips with his own and stroked the inside of his mouth with his tongue. His arms slid under Magnus’s shirt over his bare back. He felt warm and soft against Alec’s hands, and as Magnus kissed him back, all other thoughts flew out of his head.

Thoughts about it being utterly inappropriate and all those other concerns. They evaporated. Everything but Magnus was forgotten. All Alec could think was how in love he was with this beautiful 400 years old warlock who could still act like a jealous teenager. He loved it and he loved him.

He stumbled with Magnus to the chair, their mouths never leaving each other until they arrived there. Alec pushed Magnus down on it and straddled him. His lips trailing over Magnus’s jaw to his throat, he sucked on the sensitive skin, making his boyfriend moan softly. His hands went to the buttons on Magnus’s shirt and he unbuttoned them rapidly, his hands sliding in and over Magnus’s bare chest.

Magnus pulled at him, his arms around him now, pressing their bodies flush against each other. Alec felt his heart racing and anticipation building. He wanted more. And he wanted it now. His hand reached down to Magnus’s pants, and he opened them and tried to slide them down. Magnus moved his hips to help him along, and shook off his shirt in the process.

Alec’s sweater was gone, too. He moved off Magnus’s lap and went down on his knees in front of him. Longing to taste him, to take him in. All of him.

He pushed Magnus back in the chair, and started kissing his inner leg and then up over his groin. One hand on Magnus’s hip and the other slid around the base of his cock. His lips followed his hand, kissing over Magnus’s length and then he took him in his mouth. Tasting him, enjoying it immensely. His tongue swirled over Magnus’s tip and Magnus moaned.

It was all Alec could wish for, to make him moan like that. To know he was giving his boyfriend the pleasure he deserved. He started sucking and moved his hand together with his mouth. His other hand digging in Magnus’s slender hip. He felt Magnus’s fingers in his hair as he urged him on.

It was so much more than just sex. It was telling Magnus that he really and truly loved him. That there would never be anyone else. Never. And he told him so with his tongue, and his mouth, and his hand. Working him up to an orgasm, an orgasm that told him the truth of this all.

And Magnus came in his mouth, whispering his name as he did so. “Alexander,” it came out as a sigh. The most wonderful sound, Alec thought.

He sat back on the floor in front of the chair and looked up at his boyfriend, who looked as beautiful as ever. Alec smiled. _I’m so lucky to have him,_ he thought.

Magnus opened his eyes and pulled Alec up and in his lap. “I’m so lucky to have you,” he whispered.

“You know, I was thinking the exact same thing about you,” Alec said and he kissed him softly on the lips.

“You believe me now?” he said. “You have no reason, none at all, to be jealous.”

“I know that,” Magnus said, while brushing his hand through Alec’s hair. “I know I was being unreasonable. But sometimes, I just can’t help myself. I’m sorry.”

Alec shrugged. “No need to apologize. But next time tell me earlier. And I’ll take you to this library chair every single time to show you just how wrong you are.”

Magnus smiled and pulled Alec close. “I love you,” he whispered in Alec’s hair.

Alec closed his eyes for awhile, enjoying the feel of his boyfriend so close to him. They sat like that for a few minutes. Then Magnus broke the silence. “I think we should go back. We’re missing dessert.”

“I already had dessert,” Alec smiled widely and Magnus burst out laughing.

“You are one naughty Shadowhunter,” he said.

“At that.”

But in the end they did got up and got dressed. Hand in hand they walked back to the dining room, where the others already started eating the Christmas pudding.

“What took you guys so long?” Isabelle asked.

“Trust me, my dear Isabelle,” Magnus said. “You don’t want to know.”

They sat down again, almost unconsciously switching their seats. Now Magnus was sitting next to Sanjay and Alec next to his mother. Magnus started an animated conversation with the boy. Alec regarded his boyfriend and smiled. Order was restored in the world again, he thought.

After dinner it was time for presents. Alec got a new bow from Jace, with carbon arrows, the newest technology used to fabricate them. He showed them to Sanjay and explained how good they were. But he didn’t ask him to come and shoot a few in the training room. Shooting arrows was, after all, a very sensual thing to do. Cupid did it, too…


	85. More Than Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More than awkward, or, the one where Simon walked in on Alec and Magnus having sex ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter of Born To Endless Night. There will be four more, they will cover the entire story. All the credits go to Cassandra Clare for this, I own nothing. I have used dialogue from BtEN in this and in the following chapters. Hope you will all enjoy it! <3

* * *

 

####  _**Alec** _

Magnus prepared to leave extremely early in the morning. Alec was barely awake when he felt his boyfriend’s lips on his, and then he heard his voice, a soft whisper. “I’m going, Alexander. Leave you to have breakfast with your father.”

“What?” Alec replied, blinking. It was still dark. Early February in Idris meant the sun didn’t rise before eight in the morning. “What are you saying?”

“I’m going to the Academy. You can catch up later, okay?” Magnus said, while brushing his hair from his forehead.

Alec opened his eyes more fully to look at his boyfriend. “Why won’t you have breakfast with us?”

“Because, my darling, I think it’s good for you to have some alone time with your father.”

“What alone time? Isabelle is here, too.”

“Yeah, some alone time for you and your sister with your father. You never see him.”

“Let me translate that,” Alec said as he propped himself up on his elbows. “You mean you don’t want to have breakfast with my father.”

Magnus rolled his eyes at him. “I’m not saying that.”

“But it’s what you mean.”

“No,” he shook his head as he went to sit down on the bed. “I really think you should-”

“Spend time with him, yeah, I get that. It’s okay, Magnus, I get it,” he looked Magnus in the eyes and gave him a smile. “It’s okay. I will see you at the Academy.”

“Great!” Magnus smiled back. “I’m sorry that I took you out of New York to this godforsaken country. I’ll make it up to you.”

Alec’s smile widened. “Godforsaken country? Idris is awesome! But sure, make it up to me, I don’t mind.” He raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend who leaned in and gave him a kiss.

“I’ll see you there in a few hours. I will go first and make sure everything is perfect upon your arrival.”

“Like I’m the queen or something?” Alec asked.

Magnus laughed. “You are the queen, nothing is good enough for you. I want you to have the best. And Shadowhunter Academy is a dump, so I’m facing a hard task.”

“Don’t tell my father I’m the queen,” Alec said. “He’ll never forgive you.”

“I’m sure he already won’t forgive me for snatching his son away,” Magnus made it sound like a joke but Alec knew there was truth in his words. And despite it being like this for more than two years now, it still hurt. Somewhere deep down he wanted his father to accept his boyfriend. But then again, you can’t have everything you want.

And Alec was happy despite it. Happy living in Brooklyn with Magnus. Happy about their life. How he had meetings with Lily and Maia every Thursday. How he had won the trust of both the vampire clan and the werewolf pack in New York. How he could still work as a Shadowhunter, hunting demons with his parabatai. He had love and friendship and a job. What more could he possibly want. So his father disapproved of his life choices. Everyone has their cross to bear in the end.

This one wasn’t even that heavy.

Magnus pecked him on the lips once more and stood up. “Okay, I’m really going now. Love you.”

“Aku cinta kamu,” Alec replied, knowing it made Magnus happy. And he got rewarded too. Magnus, who was already at the door of the bedroom, turned on his heels and stalked back to the bed.

Alec reached out his arm and pulled him close, their lips locked again. Alec parted Magnus’s lips with his and slid his tongue in his boyfriends mouth. Magnus hummed softly but then broke away quite suddenly. “You make me crazy,” he said reproachfully. “Let me leave, man!”

Alec laughed. “Man? First I’m the queen and now I’m man. This Idris trip is going to be something else.”

“Go sleep some more,” Magnus suggested. “So you’ll be ready for whatever is coming your way. From what I heard from Catarina, it’s going to be hell, there.”

He grinned as he walked out the door. Alec shook his head and went to lie back on the pillow. Another five minutes, he thought, I’ve earned them. He was an early riser, but today was the first day of this sort of holiday, and he was going to savor it.

Unfortunately it didn’t take five minutes for Isabelle to knock on his door. “Alec, come! We’re having breakfast.”

“Why so early?” he grumbled.

“Because dad has a meeting this morning. Hurry!”

Of course his father had something more important to do than having breakfast with his children. Why wasn’t Alec surprised?

He got up, dressed in his standard jeans and sweater and dashed down the stairs. Isabelle was standing at the stove in the kitchen. Oh no, this meant he had to eat her horrible pancakes again. They tasted like cardboard.

His father was standing next to Isabelle, stirring with a spatula in a skillet. Wow, he actually took the trouble to cook something.

“Hi Alec, good morning,” he said when he saw him.

“Hey,” Alec replied.

“Where’s Magnus?” his father asked, while gesturing for Alec to sit down. He took the pan from the stove and hustled some scrambled eggs onto Alec’s plate.

“He already left,” Alec replied, pouring himself some juice. “He needed to do some stuff at the Academy.”

Isabelle went to sit on the other end of the table and Robert sat down next to Alec, after serving the eggs to Izzy and himself.

“How long are you staying here?” Robert asked his children.

“I’m going to the Academy after breakfast,” Alec replied, while scooping some of the eggs into his mouth. It actually tasted good. “This is nice.”

“Yes, I know how to make eggs,” Robert smiled. “And you, Izzy?”

“I don’t know. I’ve arranged for a chat with Simon tonight. I’m thinking maybe I’ll stay here for a couple of days. If that’s okay?” She looked up at her father expectantly.

He nodded, “Of course. But I won’t be around much, I’m busy.”

Alec couldn’t help but shake his head. Naturally his father would be busy. Isabelle shrugged and said it didn’t matter. They finished their breakfast without saying all that much. Robert asked how things were in New York, but they had talked about that last night when they arrived. So there was really not much more to say.

Robert excused himself after about half an hour, saying he needed to go to a meeting. “But you’ll be around for a few weeks, right?” he asked Alec. “So I’ll see you again sometime soon?”

“Sure,” Alec replied. “I’ll see when I can go to Alicante. Will bring Magnus with me, probably.”

“Doesn’t he have to teach?” Robert asked.

“He doesn’t need to teach seven days a week. We have this thing called a weekend,” Alec said. He heard a little frustration in his voice. He didn’t really want that. He wanted a relaxed relationship with his father. A relationship where they could talk about the stuff they had in common, and remain deadly silent on the stuff they differed about. That was an ideal relationship in Alec’s mind. Of course not really ideal, but for this relationship it was the best option. And it was no good to have higher expectations than that. It would only result in hurt.

“Yes, of course you have weekends,” Robert said as he stood up. He looked a bit nervous, as if he was caught making a mistake. “Well, you both are welcome for dinner or something when you’re here. Okay?”

“Okay,” Alec said. His father patted his shoulder and walked across the table to kiss Isabelle goodbye.

Alec got up, too. It was high time for a quick shower and then he’d be on his way to the Academy. His home for the coming weeks.

* * *

One thing his father had arranged for Alec was a ride to the Academy, at least he didn’t have to think about how to get there. He wondered how Magnus had travelled. He probably portalled there. Alec got a ride on horseback. There were no cars or trains in Idris. So the other option was walking. Horse riding wasn’t Alec’s favorite thing to do, but he managed it.

The horse’s owner, John Chadwick, rode with him, so he could bring the horse back. He left him at the edge of the Academy’s lands. Alec thanked him, waved goodbye and walked along the long driveway up to the Academy.

The Academy stood there, silent and alone. Gray and comfortless against the gray February sky. This place was dreary, Alec thought. Good thing Magnus was here, otherwise he would’ve called John to take him back with him to Alicante.

As it was, he really looked forward to see Magnus again. It hadn’t changed in the past two years, his longing to be wherever Magnus was. And wherever Magnus was, there was home. Even if it meant spending the time in this shady building. It was home now.

Alec entered the building and looked around in the empty hallway. No one to be seen. He followed the sound of clatter and chatter and wound up at the threshold of what seemed to be the dining room.

A young, Indian boy almost bumped into him. “Oh, sorry! Oh!” he stammered as he looked up at Alec. “You’re Alec Lightwood!”

“Yes,” Alec said, smiling down at the kid, amused and a little surprised. “And who are you?”

“I’m Sunil Sadavisan.” The boy, Sunil, extended a hand to him and Alec shook it. “I’ve heard all about you! You were awesome in the Great War. You know, you’ve inspired me to become a Shadowhunter!”

“Really?” Alec asked, feeling a bit baffled.

“Yeah! I mean, with the bow and how heroic you were, going into Edom to save your boyfriend. Seriously, man. I’m in awe!”

Alec smiled a little awkwardly. This was strange, this boy acted as if he were some VIP. Maybe he was, he never thought much about it. Going into Edom to save Magnus wasn’t an act of heroism to Alec. He’d felt he didn’t have a choice. Leave the man you love to rot in hell, don’t think so. He’d never be able to live with himself if he’d done that.

“And that you’re a Shadowhunter who lives with his boyfriend, who is not a Shadowhunter. I think that’s so courageous,” Sunil continued. “It’s so great that you can be a Shadowhunter like that. It makes me think I can be one too.”

“Of course you can,” Alec replied. “Just be yourself. That’s all you can be. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.”

Alec looked up into the dining room and locked eyes with Magnus, who was chatting with a pretty blonde girl. The girl was clearly into him, even from this distance Alec could tell she was flirting with him. Maybe two years ago that would’ve bothered him, but now not so much anymore. He felt secure in Magnus’s love for him. And of course, Magnus was beautiful, Alec couldn’t blame the girl.

Magnus gave him a brilliant smile which still made his stomach flutter. He turned to the girl, said something and then started walking toward him.

Sunil was still talking and Alec felt a little guilty, not paying enough attention to the boy. He extended his hand again and Alec took it and gave him an encouraging nod. “Anyway, I know you’re extremely busy of course. So I won’t be bothering you anymore,” the boy said.

“You’re not bothering me,” Alec replied.

“I just wanted to say thanks,” Sunil said, while Magnus came to stand next to him. Sunil nodded to Magnus and left.

“Do you know him?” Magnus asked.

“No,” Alec said. “But he knew all about me. We were talking about—all the ways there are to be a Shadowhunter, you know?”

“Check you out,” said Magnus. “My famous boyfriend, inspiration to the masses.”

Alec smiled, amused. “So, that girl was flirting with you.”

“Really?” Magnus asked. “How could you tell?”

Alec regarded his boyfriend with some skepticism. Was he being serious? No, he was messing with him, as usual. Well, fine. If Magnus wanted to mess, he was in for it.

“Well, it has been known to happen. I’ve been around for a long time,” said Magnus, pushing it to another level. “I’ve also been gorgeous for a long time.”

“Is that so?” said Alec, raising his eyebrows at his boyfriend. His lips curled upwards in a smile.

“I’m in high demand. What are you going to do about it?”

Alec’s smile widened, as he enjoyed the beautiful sparkle in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“This,” he said as he reached out and grabbed Magnus’s robe to pull him close. Leaning back against the door he wrapped one hand around the back of Magnus’s neck and pressed his lips against him. His other hand left Magnus’s robe and wrapped around his waist, lining his body against his own. Enjoying the warmth of it. And secretly enjoying the fact that everyone in that dining room could see that Magnus was very much taken. And his.

Magnus kissed him back, closing his eyes and sliding his tongue in Alec’s mouth. Alec felt his slow and steady heartbeat against his chest. He realized he really didn’t mind being in this dump of an Academy for the coming weeks. As long as he could be with Magnus, and do this every day (maybe not always in the dining room but still), he didn’t mind where he was.

Magnus broke off the kiss and looked into Alec’s eyes, his eyes still sparkling as he smiled. “Come on, I’m going to show you the penthouse! It’s awesome!”

“Is it, really?” Alec had a hard time believing anything in this ruin of a building could be awesome. Then again, Magnus was perfectly able to make it awesome.

Magnus grabbed his hand and pulled him with him up the stairs. It was quite a climb, before they arrived at a rickety door. “Yeah, the door doesn’t look like much. I’m not even sure the lock works. Then again, I don’t think anyone would come up here.”

Magnus beamed at him while opening the door. “Tadaa!”

Alec laughed at that and stepped over the threshold. The room inside was rickety too, although he saw Magnus had conjured up some of their stuff from home. And there was a kitchen too. Alec opened the fridge to see it filled with fresh food. “This looks good,” he said.

“And the bed,” Magnus said, “Come take a look at the bed, it’s good too.”

Alec turned around and walked with Magnus to the bed, it was covered with their own multicolored bed sheets and duvet. “It looks really good, hun. I like what you’ve done with the place.”

“Good,” Magnus said as he shoved Alec on the bed and crawled on top of him. Alec looked up at his beautiful boyfriend, a burst of happiness unfolded like a flower inside of him.

Magnus brushed with a finger over his jaw and cheekbone. “I’m so happy you’re here. I was dreading this, you know. But with you here, it’s going to be a snap.”

Alec reached up and trailed with his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. “Of course, you’ll nail it. I’m sure you will.”

“I like it that you have all this faith in me. It’s unfounded, but it’s wonderful.”

“It’s not unfounded,” Alec frowned. “Why do you say that?”

“They are teenagers, I’m afraid they won’t listen to a single word I say,” Magnus said, while still stroking with his finger over Alec’s face.

“Oh come on, they practically worship you,” Alec said. “And even if they don’t. I’ll still do.”

His hand trailed from Magnus’s hair to his neck and he pulled his boyfriend down on him. Their mouths met and Alec closed his eyes, letting his other senses take over. The softness and warmth of Magnus’s mouth against his. The scent of sandalwood and bergamot. And if he listened very carefully, he could hear the slamming of their hearts against their chests. Beating almost in sync.

The kiss deepened and Alec rolled Magnus over on his back. Magnus’s hands slid under his sweater and brushed softly over his back and his spine. “Time to make this bed our own.” Magnus whispered against Alec’s lips.

Alec chuckled, “That sounds like the best idea ever!”

He left Magnus’s lips now and peppered his face with kisses, over his jaw, his cheek, his nose. And then on his neck and down to his throat. His hands were on Magnus’s dress shirt now, unbuttoning it quickly. Magnus sat up and removed the glittery golden robe he was wearing and the shirt too.

Alec followed his example, and shivered. “Why is it so cold here?"

“Because they don’t know how to isolate,” Magnus answered. He pulled Alec with him under the covers and whispered, “I’ll fix it later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Alec said, not wanting to wait either. Their clothes gone, he pressed his body against Magnus’s, moaning softly in his neck. Magnus’s arms were around him, pulling him to his chest, creating a friction that made the flutters in Alec’s belly magnify. He was so in love, it rushed through his mind as he moved against his boyfriend. So in love, even after two years. Magnus still turned his bones into liquid, his belly into a butterfly garden. His thoughts becoming mush because he just couldn’t think straight anymore.

All he could think about was how he wanted to be closer, and make love, and be a little closer still to the man of his life.

Magnus lifted his legs, wrapping his knees around Alec’s neck. Alec lifted his body slightly, anticipation building as he knew what was coming. Soon they’d be as close as they could be…

Bang!

The door flew wide open and someone was actually standing there. Alec froze, turned his head and stared at the intruder in pure horror.

It was Simon.

Simon was standing there on the threshold of their suite. The place Magnus promised no one would come to.

Magnus, underneath him, lifted his head and looked over Alec’s shoulder. “Can we help you?” he asked.

Can we help you!!!! Magnus, for goodness sake, why!?

“Oh my God,” said Simon. “Oh wow. Oh wow. I’m really sorry.”

“Please leave,” Alec was surprised he found his voice. It sounded tight with nerves.

“Right! Of course,” said Simon, although he wasn’t moving. “I can’t leave.”

“Believe me, you can,” Alec replied, feeling extremely anxious and self conscious. This was by far the most awkward situation he’d ever been in.

“There’s an abandoned baby on the front steps of the Academy and I think it’s a warlock,” Simon said, without moving.

“Why do you think the baby is a warlock?” Magnus asked.

Alec couldn’t believe this was really happening. And how the hell could Magnus stay so composed.

“Um, because the baby is navy blue,” Simon replied.

“That is fairly compelling evidence. Could you give us a moment to get dressed?” Magnus shifted underneath him, and Alec felt more and more uncomfortable with each second passing.

“Yes! Of course! Again, I’m very sorry,” Simon was still there.

“Go now,” Alec grumbled. And finally, finally he went, slamming the door closed in the process.

Alec rolled off of Magnus and went to lie on his back. “Fuck, that was fucking awful.”

“Alec!” Magnus said, he sat up and started to put on his clothes.

“What?” Alec grumbled.

“I never hear you talk like that,” Magnus snickered.

“You never give me a reason to talk like that,” Alec replied as he closed his eyes.

Magnus had put on his clothes and hovered over him now. Alec felt his hand on his cheek and opened his eyes to look at him.

“Don’t stress yourself out over nothing,” Magnus said softly. “Now, I’d better go see what Simon was talking about. You’ll come down in a little bit?”

“Yeah.”

Magnus pressed his lips against Alec’s and stood up. Alec heard the door open and close and a soft murmur on the other side, before four feet started walking down the stairs.

He closed his eyes again. Ugh, this sucked.

Then suddenly he heard Simon’s words again in his head.

_There’s an abandoned baby on the front steps of the Academy and I think it’s a warlock._

He hadn’t even thought about what that implied, feeling too embarrassed about the whole situation. But now that he was alone he realized how huge it was. An abandoned baby.

A baby.


	86. Navy Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was a lost soul. And Magnus had no idea where he could possibly belong. Who could love him? This warlock child. This navy blue baby.

####  **_Magnus_ **

Magnus had thought Shadowhunter Academy was going to be a snap with Alec there. What he hadn’t anticipated though, was Simon Lewis walking in on them having sex. That was, admittedly, not the best scenario he could picture.

However, the news Simon carried was much more pressing than people walking in on him having sex. It was just Simon after all. Magnus had had worse in the past. He remembered the time the Duke of Windsor walked in on him having sex with his daughter. That was one of the times Magnus had actually come close to death. His magic rescued him out of that one, although he never got to see the girl again.

So Simon Lewis was not half as bad as that. Magnus closed the door behind Alec and regarded the boy, who was still blushing from shame and nerves and anxiety.

“Really sorry again,” he said to Magnus.

Magnus waved the apology away. “Seeing your face was not the best moment of my day, Simon, but these things happen. Admittedly, they have never happened to Alec before, and he needs a few more minutes. Show me where the child is.”

“Follow me,” said Simon.

Simon started dashing down the stairs. Luckily Magnus had long legs and no trouble keeping up with him, but wow, the kid was in a hurry.

At the threshold of the Academy Magnus found Julie, the blonde girl who had flirted with him earlier that morning, another girl, this one with dark hair, and a very handsome looking guy with a bundle wrapped in his arms.

“What took you so long?” said the dark haired girl to Simon.

Julie looked from the bundle in the boy’s arms to Magnus. “Hello, Magnus.”

“Hello again, Julie,” Magnus replied. He looked at the boy now and noticed he was having trouble with the bundle. From it came noise and movement and Magnus realized that he was actually holding a baby in his arms. Simon was not bullshitting him then. It looked pretty dangerous to Magnus, the boy didn’t seem to be an expert in baby holding.

“Let me hold the baby,” he suggested to the boy.

“Oh, thank you,” he replied. “Not that I don’t like the baby. But I have no idea what to do with it.”

Magnus took a step forward and held out his arms. The boy reached forward, fumbled and almost dropped the baby. Magnus hurried forward and caught the child.

“By the Angel!” he heard Julie exclaim behind him.

Magnus held the baby close to his chest and stared down at the child. Simon had been right. The baby was navy blue. He drew back the blanket to look at the child and noticed it was a boy. He seemed completely healthy and clean, about eight months old, and definitely a warlock. The little boy was whimpering softly. The sound made Magnus extremely anxious although he was sure not to let that show to the teenagers, who obviously thought of him as some sort of expert.

“He’s a boy,” he said to the group, they all looked up to him expectantly. Trusting him to know what to do. But Magnus had no idea.

“Aw, a boy,” said the boy.

“He’s about eight months old, I would say,” Magnus continued talking, not really sure what else to do. “Someone raised him until they could not bear it anymore, and I suppose through the recruitment of mundanes to the Academy, someone thought they knew the place to bring a child they did not want.”

“But someone wouldn’t leave their child . . . ,” the boy said. Magnus looked straight into his eyes, which made him stop talking mid sentence.

“People would. People do. And the choices people make are different, with warlock children,” Magnus said quietly.

“So there’s no chance anyone is coming back for him,” said the dark haired girl.

Simon reached in his pocket and handed Magnus a piece of paper. Magnus looked at it and saw the wobbly letters, sending him the most horrible message.

He folded the note and tucked it away in his robe. He had trouble maintaining his poker face. This whole situation. The baby. The note. It shook him to his core.

He had to keep up the façade though, acting as if he stood above it all. As if he was keeping his cool. But he wished profoundly that Alec would hurry up and come already. Only with Alec on his side he could take this on. He kept staring at the baby, who kept whimpering, when a voice sounded behind him.

“What is happening?”

He looked up and saw Dean Penhallow, the dean of the Academy, and next to her stood Catarina. Magnus was relieved to see a friendly face. But still, he needed Alec, that was the only way for him to relax, he knew that.

“Seems like someone left a baby instead of the milk bottles,” Catarina said dryly. “That was careless. Welcome, Magnus.”

Magnus smiled wryly and waved at her with his free hand.

“What? Why? Why would anyone do such a thing? What are we supposed to do with it?” Dean Penhallow asked.

A third person appeared behind them. A grumpy, burly man. “He’s much too young to be taught. Perhaps we should contact the Clave.”

The Clave? No! Come hell or high water, Magnus was not going to allow these awful Shadowhunters to take the child to the Clave. The merciless Clave. What would they do with an abandoned warlock child? Nothing good would come of it.

“If the baby needs a bed,” said the pretty boy who’d held the baby before Magnus had saved it from him. “Simon and I could keep him in our sock drawer.”

Magnus grew more and more upset, until finally, finally, he saw Alec appear. Tall as he was, he towered over the crowd head and shoulders. Moving toward him.

Magnus felt his own body relax at the sight of him. And when Alec was standing next to him, Magnus could finally breathe again.

“This is the warlock child Simon was talking about,” Alec said as he regarded the child.

“As you see,” said Magnus. “The baby would not be able to pass for a mundane. His mother clearly does not want him. He is in a nest of the Nephilim, and I cannot think, among faeries or Shadowhunters or werewolves, where in the world he could possibly belong.”

He knew he was losing his poker face and his poker voice for that matter. With Alec next to him, he couldn’t hold up the façade. But Alec, he could build on him, he knew that. He clasped Magnus’s arm, his strong fingers wrapping around him, giving him the support he needed.

Alec looked up at him, straight in his eyes. Unfaltering, his blue eyes told him what he needed to know. _We’ve got this, Magnus. We’re in it together, whatever it is._

His gaze broke away from Magnus then and he stared down at the child. “Can I hold him?”

“Sure,” Magnus replied, a little surprised at Alec’s request, but he put the baby in Alec’s arms instantly.

And the whimpering subsided. Magnus stared in surprise at his boyfriend, who snuggled the baby close to his chest, looking down on him. Magnus looked from Alec to the child and saw it was gazing up at Alec.

Of course, Magnus thought, this child is captivated by Alec’s beauty. That must be it. His eyes shining this incredible blue, it must have caught the child’s attention.

Or it was the comfort that Alec just seemed to breathe. Everything about him was so calming and soothing to Magnus, it was not that strange that it would calm a child down, too.

“So,” said the burly man who’d spoken up earlier. “Should we contact the Clave and put this matter before them, or what?”

Magnus whirled on the man, fixing a furious gaze on him, which made him shrink back. Good.

“I do not intend to leave a warlock child to the tender mercies of the Clave,” Magnus hissed at him. “We have this, don’t we, Alec?”

He looked at his boyfriend, pleading silently with him. Don’t give the child to the Clave, please. Alec looked up, looking a bit confused, but then he nodded, and Magnus recognized the determination in his expression.

“Yeah,” he answered. “We do.”

Magnus felt instant relief as he wrapped a hand around Alec’s upper arm. He knew his Shadowhunter was going to have his back. At least there was one Shadowhunter in this world he could trust. Because boy, Shadowhunters, they truly sucked sometimes.

Not this one though, never this one.

Alec locked eyes with him briefly and then turned his gaze back at the baby. He seemed enthralled with the child. It felt like a reprieve for Magnus. He didn’t have that much experience with babies, but Alec seemed to be doing okay.

For a second the thought of Alec’s younger brother flashed through Magnus’s mind. He heard Alec’s voice as clear as if he were speaking to him now.

_He was so small, his skin so soft and pink, his fingers so tiny. “This is Maxwell,” mom said and she handed him to me. “I trust you, Alec. You can hold him.” He wasn’t heavy and as he lay in my arms he looked up at me. Dark eyes, dark hair. And I swear, even though it’s impossible for newborns, that he laughed at me then._

A brief feeling of hurt passed over him, but as he looked at his boyfriend with the child in his arms, he realized Alec could handle it. Alec was strong. Stronger than he himself felt right about now.

The dean cleared the hall, telling the kids to go to their classes and Alec and Magnus walked up the stairs to their room.

Once inside Magnus sunk in one of the chairs and buried his face in his hands. “What a mess,” he mumbled through his fingers.

Alec was walking up and down the room, bouncing the baby very softly. “It’s going to be fine, Magnus,” he said quietly.

He came to a stand next to Magnus, and Magnus felt his hand in his hair. He looked up then and stared in his boyfriend’s face. If Alec said it was going to be fine, Magnus was going to believe him.

At least, he was going to try. He didn’t feel fine.

“Maybe you could arrange for a crib, so the baby can sleep?” Alec suggested.

Of course, why hadn’t Magnus thought about that sooner? He closed his eyes for a second, browsing through stores in his mind. Where does one buy a crib? At Toys-R-Us? No, that was a toy store. Oh but wait, Pottery Barn had a special department for children. He flicked his fingers then and a crib from the Pottery Barn appeared in the room. Complete with blankets and everything.

Alec walked the baby to it and placed it gently in the crib. He covered the child with a white blanket and tucked him in. He was so good at that, Magnus noticed.

“We need more than just a crib though,” Alec whispered as he came to sit next to Magnus. “A binky, bottles, formula, clothes.”

“Oh my goodness,” Magnus muttered. “What have we taken on?”

“We got this, Magnus. Don’t stress out over nothing,” Alec smiled at him.

Magnus extended a hand and entwined his fingers with Alec’s. “You’re right.”

Pottery Barn would not do for all that stuff. Magnus cast a revealing spell and found a baby store online where he could purchase everything Alec just mentioned. With a few flicks of his fingers the room was filled with boxes in soft baby colors.

Alec rummaged through them and took a pack of formula, reading the back to find out how to prepare a bottle. “They need to be warm, maybe a microwave would come in handy, too?”

“Okay, microwave it is,” Magnus said. “What about your morals and stuff?”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you were against stealing?”

“Magnus, come on. This is an emergency. We’ll pay for it later,” Alec rolled his eyes at him.

“Or we won’t,” Magnus snickered.

At that point the baby woke up and started crying. Alec hurried over to the crib and bent over it. “What is it? Are you hungry?” he crooned at the child and he took him in his arms.

Alec was walking up and down the apartment, patting the child on his back, murmuring soothing words. “Can you make a bottle?” he asked Magnus.

Magnus walked over to the counter and tried making the formula. The box said to test the heat on your own skin. But when he spilled a drop of the stuff on his wrist it was way too hot, leaving an angry red mark on his skin. “Ouch,” he grumbled. “I’m not good at this stuff.”

“You’ll learn,” Alec said, walking over to where Magnus was standing. With his free hand he grabbed Magnus’s wrist and pressed a kiss on the red spot. The baby was still screaming and it made Magnus extremely nervous. He snapped with his fingers to cool the formula down and handed Alec the bottle.

“Now it’s cooled down enough, I think,” he said.

Alec fed the baby and the crying subsided. Magnus felt immense gratitude as he looked up and thanked the stars for him.

Unfortunately it didn’t last long. When the bottle was drained the baby started crying again and a second bottle didn’t help. Changing his diapers didn’t help either. The child kept crying, driving Magnus almost mad.

He was a lost soul. He missed his mother, obviously. The woman who’d written the note. Who could ever love him? Who indeed?

Magnus didn’t know the answer to this question. He didn’t know where the baby could belong. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to hand it over to the Clave.

It was after nightfall when the baby finally fell asleep. Alec was leaning against the crib, clearly exhausted, half asleep as well. Magnus stared at him and wondered how on earth he was going to get them out of this situation they so unexpectedly got in.

He bent down over his boyfriend and kissed his forehead. “I’m going for a walk,” he whispered. He couldn’t stand to stay inside for one second longer. He needed fresh air. He needed to think.

Where could this baby possibly belong?


	87. A Lightwood Invasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi Alec,
> 
> So cool!!!! Simon told me about the warlock baby!!! We’re on our way. I’m bringing everyone!
> 
> XOXO, Izzy
> 
> Who is everyone? Alec wondered...  
> Ready for a Lightwood Invasion?

###    


####  **_Alec_ **

A baby. A navy blue baby had suddenly come into Alec’s life. From the moment Magnus had put the child in his arms he felt it. A click. This child belonged to him. Unexpected, yes, but not unwelcome. Not unwelcome at all.

Alec had been thinking about it the last few months. He wanted to get married. He wanted to start a family. And adoption was as good an option as anything.

He’d never found the courage to talk to Magnus about it. Something inside of him was scared of Magnus’s answer. Magnus seemed happy with their life, and in no hurry to change anything about it. Alec had read the notebook Magnus had given to him on the day they got back together. And Magnus had written a few more. Alec had read them all. And in the stories there was one thing that stood out. Magnus had never been married. In all the stories, in all the love he’d experienced, no one proposed to him and he never proposed to anyone.

It made Alec wonder if that meant Magnus didn’t like the institution of marriage. And what about a family? In the notebooks there was a lack of children, too. Clary was the single one regularly mentioned. And Magnus had only seen her once every two years until her sixteenth birthday.

So Alec had been unsure about what Magnus would want with his life, now that he was in a relationship with him. He had thought about proposing to him, but he never went through with it. Now he wished he’d had the courage to at least bring up the subject.

Because now, there was this child, lying in his arms. “We have this, don’t we, Alec?” Magnus had said to him downstairs. And Alec had looked into the beautiful blue eyes of the baby boy and knew.

_ We’ve got this. We’ve got this child now. And we’re going to love it and raise it. _

Alec wanted it. He’d always wanted it. He remembered his baby brother. He was nine when Max was born and he’d loved him so much. Thinking back he felt tears prick in his eyes. Max was gone, now. Forever gone. He would’ve been almost twelve if he were still alive today. Twelve. On that age Shadowhunters get their first Marks. Max would never have that.

Now he had a new baby. A new Max. He’d never expected it, never knew if it was ever going to be a possibility for him to have a child. And maybe it was a bit soon, because he was only twenty, but then again, Shadowhunters usually married young and had children very early, too. Twenty was quite average in his world.

He heard the child whimper and sat up, wiping with his fists in his eyes. It sure was tiring, the child had been crying for hours on end during the day. Alec had fallen asleep, half sitting, half hanging against the crib. He vaguely remembered Magnus kissing his forehead and telling him he was going for a walk.

Alec stood up and looked around the apartment. Apparently Magnus was still out. He didn’t know how long he’d slept. He bent over the crib. The baby was flailing around and whimpering. Alec took him in his arms. “What is it? Can’t you sleep?”

He’d managed to feed him and change his diapers. But he still felt he lacked proper skills. And Magnus, well, he was good for summoning stuff, but he didn’t seem all that relaxed with the child. Alec hoped that would change over time.

While bouncing the baby up and down he received a fire message from Isabelle.

_ Hi Alec, _

_ So cool!!!! Simon told me about the warlock baby!!! We’re on our way. I’m bringing everyone! _

_ XOXO, Izzy _

Anxiously he wondered who everyone was, when there was a pounding on the door. Magnus had placed a lock on it, so no one could just barge in there when the baby was sleeping.

Alec opened the door and was surprised to see his entire family enter. Both his parents, together, which was a rarity. Isabelle, Jace and Clary.

“Hi!” Alec said, stunned. His family whirled around him.

“Alec, how great is this? A baby!” Maryse said.

“Isabelle told us, but I didn’t believe her,” said Robert.

“I told you it was the truth!” Isabelle exclaimed.

“What have you gotten yourself into?” Jace asked.

Clary was the only one who didn’t find it necessary to give her opinion. Alec was grateful that at least one of them kept quiet, because at the sudden burst of noise the baby started crying.

“Can you all please be quiet,” he said. “Why did you all come? I didn’t tell Izzy to bring you. It’s way too crowded for the baby.” He shot Izzy an angry look.

“What?” she whispered now. “You clearly need the help.” She looked around the apartment and shook her head. “Obviously this apartment is not suited for a baby. And your own apartment won’t be either. You should give me a set of keys, when we’re done here we’ll go straight to New York to baby proof the apartment for you.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Alec said, baffled.

Isabelle reached her hand in the pocket of his jeans and took his keys out. “There you go.”

His mother wrapped an arm around his shoulders and looked down on the baby in his arms. “He’s so blue,” she whispered. “He has the color of your eyes.”

Alec looked at her and frowned. “He’s a warlock.”

“Yeah, that’s obvious. So you and Magnus are going to keep him?”

“Yes,” Alec replied. “He was dropped at the front steps of the Academy on the exact same day we arrived. It’s meant to be.”

“He was dropped here?” Robert asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Yes. You don’t believe me?”

“Of course I do,” Robert hurried to say. He went to stand on Alec’s other side and looked at the baby. “So, this is him, then.”

In the meantime Isabelle was stalking through the room and had opened the cabinet. She took out one of Magnus’s shirts. “Alec! I’m going to use this one, okay?”

Alec looked up, distraught. “What for?”

“Have you seen the floor? It’s filled with crevices. If the baby crawls around he’ll get hurt. You don’t want him to get hurt, do you?” She looked at Alec sternly and then pointed a finger at his parabatai. “Jace, come help me.”

The baby started crying for real now. “I think he’s hungry,” Alec said, apologetically.

“You wait here,” Maryse went into action mode. “I will make a bottle for him.”

Isabelle stood on a stool, pointing out to Jace where to put little pieces of fabric from Magnus’s shirt in the crevices on the floor. Jace was lying down, following her orders. Alec’s mother walked into the kitchen and started preparing a bottle. Alec watched the whole thing, confused, dazed and extremely tired.

What was this situation he’d gotten himself into. They all meant well, but by the Angel, this was tiring. And the baby kept crying.

His mother came walking to him with the bottle in her hand. “You have to make sure it’s not too hot, Alec. That’s very important. And if I were you I’d change brands. This brand you have here is not the best. And you want the best for your baby, don’t you?”

At that moment the door opened and Magnus entered with Lily.

Alec saw the shock on his boyfriend’s face as he froze on the threshold, taking in the mayhem in the room.

Lily shoved past him. “LIGHTWOOD!” she shouted, looking over the faces, searching for him.

“Ah yes, Lily Chen, I believe?” said Alec’s father, thinking she meant him. “I remember you were interim representative for the vampires on the Council for a time. Glad to see you again. What can I do for you?”

Lily frowned at him. “Not you!” she snapped. “Who even are you?”

“I’m the Inquisitor?” said Robert. “I was the head of the New York Institute for over a decade?”

“Oh, congratulations, do you want a medal? I need Alexander Lightwood, obviously,” said Lily. She was never going to be subtle. Alec kind of appreciated that about her. She locked eyes with him now and barged toward him.

She launched into a story about a faerie fruit seller and how one of the vampires had bitten a human. Alec replied calmly that the werewolves had the situation in hand. He knew all about it. And Elliot, the vampire, was known for biting humans. Lily tried to give an excuse about it, saying it could be an accident.

Alec looked at her, skeptically. He shook his head. “Oh, it could have been his seventeenth accident? He has to stop or he’s going to lose control under the influence and kill somebody. He didn’t kill the man, did he?”

“No,” Lily said resentfully. “I stopped Elliott in time. I knew you’d kill him, and then I knew you’d give me your disappointed look. You’re sure the werewolves have this in hand?”

“Yes,” said Alec, impatiently. “You didn’t need to charge to Idris and spill Downworlder business in front of my whole family.”

“If they’re your family, they know you can handle a little thing like this,” Lily said dismissively. “This is such a relief.”

It was only then that she focused her gaze on the baby in Alec’s arms. “Oh, you’re holding a baby.”

She moved over to him and hovered over the child, snapping her fangs at him. “Hello, baby!” she crooned. Alec knew she had a soft side.

The clicking of her fangs made his entire family snap into Shadowhunter focus. Jace got up from the floor. Alec saw both his parents reach for their weapons. It was so clear they were not used to daily interaction with vampires. They actually thought Lily was going to bite the kid.

Alec looked over her head at his family and shook his head firmly at them. There was no threat here, she was just playing with the child, his eyes told them. They all relaxed and Alec looked down on the child, who’d started laughing at Lily. It was the cutest little sound, to hear the baby laugh. Alec’s heart jumped in his chest at the sound. He felt a smile coming on his face. Lily and this warlock baby were going to get along really well.

“What?” Lily asked, suddenly aware of the silence around her. She looked up at Alec. “I always liked children, when I was alive. People said I was good with them.” She laughed softly. “It’s been a while.”

“That’s great,” said Alec. “You’ll be willing to babysit occasionally, then.”

“Ha-ha, I’m the head of the New York vampire clan and I’m much too important,” Lily replied. “But I’ll see him when I drop by your place.”

“Okay,” Alec replied. They both bowed their heads over the child again. Lily cooed and smiled at him and the baby smiled back. He was beautiful, Alec thought, when he smiled. “Hey baby, hi little baby,” Lily crooned.

She looked up then and looked around the room.  “It occurs to me that I might be intruding.”

“Oh really?” asked Isabelle. “Do you think?”

“Sorry, Alec,” said Lily. “See you in New York. Come back quick or some fool will burn the place down. Good-bye, Magnus, random other Lightwoods. Bye, baby. Good-bye, little baby.”

She kissed Alec on the cheek and walked out of the room, leaving everyone staring at the door opening, where Magnus was still standing. Everyone except Alec, he was focused on his child. He’d see Lily again in New York, like she’d said.

Magnus finally entered the apartment and looked disturbed as he saw Jace lying down on the floor again. “What are you doing?”

“I’m stuffing crevices with bits of material,” said Jace. “It was Isabelle’s idea.”

“I ripped up one of your shirts to do it,” Isabelle said casually. “Not one of your nice shirts, obviously. One of the shirts that don’t suit you and which you shouldn’t wear again.”

“You did what?” Alec heard the frustration in Magnus’s voice. It occurred to him that Magnus was very much surprised to see the entire Lightwood family in his apartment.

“We’re child-proofing the whole suite,” Isabelle told Magnus, her hands on her hips. “If you could call this a suite. This whole Academy is a baby death trap. After we get finished here, we’re going to childproof your loft.”

“You’re not allowed in our apartment,” Magnus said.

“Alec gave me a set of keys that says different,” Isabelle replied.

“I did do that,” Alec said, feeling extremely sorry for his boyfriend. He certainly wasn’t happy with the situation. “I did give her keys. Forgive me, Magnus, I love you, I did not know she was going to be like this.”

“Why are you being like this?” Magnus asked Isabelle. “Why?”

“Think about it,” said Isabelle. “We had to deal with the crevices. The baby could crawl around and get his hand or his foot stuck in a crevice! He could be hurt. You don’t want the baby to get hurt, do you?”

“No,” said Magnus. “Nor do I intend to tear my whole life into strips and rearrange it because of a baby.”

“Oh, I remember thinking that way,” Maryse said. “You’ll learn, Magnus.”

“I expected this,” declared Isabelle. “Simon told me all about the baby on the phone. I knew you guys would be stunned and overwhelmed. So I got hold of Mom, and she contacted Jace, and Jace was with Clary, and we all came right away to pitch in.”

“It’s really good of you,” Alec said. He felt a bit self-conscious and guilty towards Magnus, who seemed totally baffled and unhappy with the intrusion.

“Oh, it’s our pleasure,” Maryse said, while walking towards him. “What do you say, you let me hold the baby? I’m the one in the room with the most experience with babies, after all.”

“That’s not true, Alec,” said Robert. He and Maryse started arguing about who had the most experience with babies and how they could be treated best. Alec looked over their heads at Magnus, trying to catch his eyes. He wanted to apologize for this invasion of Lightwoods.

But Magnus wasn’t looking at him. He was staring around the room. His face pale, his eyes sunken, he leaned against the doorframe. “I need to sit down,” he said, sounding hollow.

Alec immediately felt concerned. What was wrong with Magnus? This whole thing was too much for him of course. The baby, so unexpected. And now his family crowding up at them.

Both his parents were ganging up at him now, and Alec took a step backwards. Jace sprang up and came to stand next to him. He turned, placed the baby in his parabatai’s arms and stretched both his hands out to ward off his parents.

“Mom and Dad, maybe don’t crowd him,” he said, a warning tone in his voice.

He regarded Jace then, who was focused on the child he was holding. He rubbed one of his feet when the baby wriggled suddenly in his arms. Everyone, including Magnus, rushed forward to catch the baby, but Jace held onto him, as Alec knew he would.

He looked pretty terrified though, but then he looked up and regarded the others in the room with his usual flair. “He’s fine. He’s tough.”

It was Isabelle who brought up the subject of names. Alec’s mother said they’d already been discussing it between them. Of course, Alec thought, his family were going to meddle and impede.

“Of course it’s up to you and Alec,” Robert said to Magnus, while putting a hand on his shoulder. Alec saw how uncomfortable Magnus felt. What was up with his parents? They seemed to be on some full on grandparents mode. Poor Magnus. He’d always held a little distance. Especially toward Alec’s father. And now Robert was intruding on his personal space.

“Of course,” said Maryse. “And we don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I would never want the little darling to have a name associated with—sadness rather than joy, or for either of you to feel like you have to do this. But we thought since . . . well, warlocks pick their own surnames a little later, so ‘Bane’ is not part of a family tradition . . . We thought you might consider, in memory but not as a burden . . .”

It was Isabelle who said it out loud, “Max Lightwood.”

Alec stared at all of them, perplexed. For his parents and sister to suggest to name this warlock baby after Max. That was huge. And to have him called Lightwood, too. Lightwood is a Shadowhunter name.

He looked from his parents to Magnus and then back to the baby who was lying quietly in Jace’s arms. He thought about his little brother. Max.

Could he call him that? Would it be possible without it being sad? He swallowed and felt tears prick in his eyes. The whole thing with the baby was so huge. And now his parents coming here and saying this, accepting this child so easily into their lives. Alec hadn’t expected it.

It would be so beautiful though, if they could call the child Max. Alec eyed Magnus now, they hadn’t discussed it. They hadn’t discussed anything, really, let alone the name of the child. 

Magnus looked so pale and confused, it worried Alec. He didn’t know what he was thinking, the only thing he knew was that Magnus wasn’t at ease with the situation. They needed to discuss it when they were alone. All of it.

“Or if you don’t like that . . . Michael. Michael’s a nice name,” Robert said in the silence.

“Or you could hyphenate,” Isabelle suggested. “Lightwood-Bane or Bane-Lightwood?”

Alec reached out a hand to touch the baby’s forehead. But the baby grasped his finger before he could reach him, his own chubby fingers curling around Alec’s index finger. Alec smiled, looking down at the child.

Max.

It would be so beautiful if they could call him that. Their son. He could hardly believe he had son.

“Magnus and I haven’t talked about it yet, and we need to,” he said quietly. “But I was thinking maybe Max as well.”

Alec took the baby back from Jace and stared into his little, chubby baby face. He looked back at him with his dark blue eyes wide and shining. His mouth opened and he yawned.

“I think it’s about time for him to nap,” Alec said. “And maybe that’s your cue to leave as well.”

He looked around the room. His father was sitting next to Magnus, whispering something which, Alec saw, stressed Magnus out. Yes, it was high time for this invasion to be over. Magnus could use the rest, the baby needed rest too. And the Angel knew Alec was pretty beat himself.

Babies were hard work.

It still took about an hour before everyone really left. Isabelle was the first to go, saying she wanted to catch up with Simon before going back to Alicante. Jace and Clary were fine with leaving, too. Alec’s parents needed more coaxing. It was Magnus who finally firmly took them by the shoulders and pushed them toward the door.

“Remember to not give him too much of the formula each time,” Maryse said, standing on the threshold. “And he has to burp after feeding him.”

“I know that, Mum,” Alec sighed, barely standing upright from exhaustion. Magnus nodded impatiently.

“It’s time to leave,” he said. “Visiting hours are over.” With that he firmly closed the door and grabbed Alec by the arm. “Go sleep, you’re barely standing.”

Alec nodded and stumbled over to the bed. He was asleep before he hit the pillow.


	88. Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some (or most, really) of the dialogue in this chapter is copied from 'Born to Endless Night.' Credits go to Cassandra Clare.

_**Alec** _

Alec had no idea what time it was when he woke up. Still the middle of the night, judging by the glimpse of dark sky he saw through the window. He didn’t feel well rested at all, but he was awake now. It was very quiet in the apartment. So quiet that he wondered if Magnus and the baby were still there.

He sat up and blinked against the darkness. He noticed the shadowy silhouette of his boyfriend sitting next to the crib, lost in thought, so it seemed. He remembered how distraught Magnus had looked that evening. A nagging feeling crept up on him. What was wrong?

He realized they hadn’t talked. Not really. Maybe it was time for that now. He scrambled off the bed and touched Magnus’s shoulder. Magnus looked up at him, a weary expression on his face, and he seemed upset too. It made Alec’s heart ache.

“If you thought I was asking you to keep the baby,” Magnus said softly. “I wasn’t.”

Alec stared at him, not really knowing what to say. What did Magnus mean? He felt scared, suddenly. Didn’t Magnus want to keep the baby? Alec realized he never considered that for a second.

“You’re . . . still really young,” Magnus said. “I’m sorry if sometimes it seems as if I do not remember that. It’s strange to me—being immortal means both being young and being old are strange to me. I know I must seem strange to you sometimes.”

“You do,” Alec replied softly. He loved him so, his beautiful warlock boyfriend with his strange immortality and his magic, his temper, his joy. He leaned down and kissed him softly on his lips. “And I never want anything but this. I never want a less strange love.”

“But you don’t have to be scared I would ever leave you,” said Magnus. “You don’t have to be scared of what will happen to the baby or that I will be hurt because the baby—is a warlock, and was not wanted. You do not have to feel trapped. You do not have to be scared, and you do not have to do this.”

_ Oh Magnus. I’m not trapped _ , Alec thought. He wondered how he could make that clear. He knelt down in front of him and looked up into his boyfriend’s eyes. It was time for a speech.

“What if I want to?” he asked. “I’m a Shadowhunter. We marry young, and we have children young, because we might die young, because we want to do our duty to the world and have all the love in the world we can. I used to . . .”

He paused for a second, searching for the right words. “I used to think I could never do that, never have that. I  _ used  _ to feel trapped. I don’t feel trapped now. I could never ask you to live in an Institute, and I don’t want to. I want to stay in New York, with you, and with Lily and Maia. I want to keep doing what we’re doing. I want Jace to run the Institute after my mother, and I want to work with him. I want to be part of the connection between the Institute and Downworlders.”

He was quiet for a second, looking up at Magnus who was listening to him intently. “For so long I thought I could never have any of the things I wanted, except that I could maybe keep Jace and Isabelle safe. I thought I could have their backs in a fight. Now I have more and more people I care about, and . . . I want everyone I care about—I want people I don’t even know, I want all of us—to know we have each other’s backs so we do not have to fight alone. I am not trapped. I’m happy. I am exactly where I want to be. I know what I want, and I have the life I want. I’m not scared of any of the things you said.”

Magnus’s eyes were shining as he looked down on him. “What are you scared of, then?” he asked softly.

“Do you remember Mom suggesting calling the baby Max?” Magnus nodded and Alec explained to him how it was for him, a long time ago to have a baby brother. To take care of him. To feel responsible for him. And to know that Max liked Jace better. How he’d always felt jealous about that. And how guilty he felt after Max died. “It was stupid and petty to be jealous,” he closed his argument.

Magnus shook his head and Alec smiled at him. “I always thought there would be more time,” he said.  He told Magnus that he thought he should’ve done better, been better for Max.

Magnus said that Max had loved him, regardless. “You know that, don’t you?”

“I do know that,” said Alec. “I just . . . I always wished I could be more for him.”

“You always try to be more, for everyone you love,” Magnus said. “You don’t see how your whole family turns to you, how they rely on you. I rely on you. Even Lily relies on you, for God’s sake. You love the people you love so much that you want to be an impossible ideal for them. You don’t realize that you are more than enough.”

Alec shrugged. He knew Magnus was right, he just couldn’t help it. He wanted the best for everyone he loved. And he’d wanted more for Max.

“You asked me what I was scared of. I’m scared he won’t like me,” Alec said. “I’m scared I’ll let him down. But I want to try to be there for him. I want him. Do you?”

He realized he was holding his breath, anxious for Magnus’s reply.

“I didn’t expect him,” said Magnus. “I didn’t expect anything like this to come, for me. Even if I thought sometimes about what it might be like if you and I did have a family, I thought it would not be for years. But yes. Yes, I want to try as well.”

Alec felt a wide smile come up as relief washed over him. He’d been really worried Magnus wouldn’t want to keep the child. And now that he agreed to it, Alec felt it was high time to bring up that other subject he’d been thinking about. Marriage.

“It is quick,” Alec admitted. “I thought about having a family, but I guess I always thought . . . Well, I guess I never expected anything like this to happen before we got married.”

“What?” said Magnus.

Alec stared up into Magnus’s eyes and his heart fell. Magnus looked so distraught.

“Alec,” he said. “My Alec. You have to know that’s impossible.”

His breath caught upon hearing those words and he knew it was clear to Magnus too that his words shook him to the core. He’d worried about it, and it turned out his worries weren’t unfounded. Did this actually meant Magnus was opposed to marriage?

“Shadowhunters can marry Downworlders, in Downworlder or mundane ceremonies,” Magnus said. He took a deep breath and started speaking fast, words tumbling over each other. He told Alec about how Shadowhunters look down on such a ceremony, on such a marriage. And how they’d easily break those vows because they didn’t mean that much to them.  “I know that type of marriage would mean just as much to you. I know that any promises you made me, you would keep. But I was alive before the Accords. I sat and ate and talked with Shadowhunters about peace between our people, and then those same Shadowhunters threw away the plates I ate off because they thought I irredeemably tainted whatever I touched. I will not have a ceremony that anyone looks down on as lesser. I do not want you to have any less than the ceremony you could have had, to honour your vows to a Shadowhunter. I have had enough of making compromises in the name of trying to make peace. I want the Law to change. I do not want to get married until we can get married in gold.”

Alec absorbed the words in silence. It hurt, truth be told. That Magnus didn’t want to marry him. Only because he thought Shadowhunters looked down on it. Alec didn’t think Magnus would care about something like that all that much. Alec knew that for him it didn’t matter. He didn’t care about getting married in gold. He wanted to marry Magnus. His love, his world. He wanted to make it official. And he couldn’t understand why Magnus didn’t want that.

“Do you understand?” Magnus said. Alec heard in his voice that he was desperate for Alec to comprehend it. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s not that I don’t love you.”

“I understand,” said Alec, finally, although he didn’t really feel it. “Changing the Law might take a while.”

“It might,” said Magnus.

Alec looked up in his boyfriend’s eyes. There was no changing his mind, Alec knew that. He’d have to make his peace with it. And in the end, he didn’t want to get married if it wouldn’t make Magnus happy. He’d do anything for Magnus’s happiness, even if that meant they couldn’t tie the knot.

“Can I tell you something?” Magnus asked, after a moment of silence. “Nobody ever wanted me to marry them before.”

“I never asked anyone to marry me before,” said Alec, “So that’s a no, then?” He gave Magnus a soft laugh to show him he was okay with it.

Magnus raised up his hand and Alec grabbed it, linking his fingers with Magnus’s.

“It’s yes, one day,” Magnus said. “For you, Alec, it’s always yes.”

Alec was surprised to hear him say those words. He smiled up to him. “So does that mean we’re engaged now?”

“I’d say so,” Magnus smiled back and brushed his hand over Alec’s cheek. “I love you. I love you for asking me to marry you. And for being okay with waiting.”

“Of course,” Alec replied. “For you, anything.”

He scrambled up from the floor, cupped Magnus’s face in both his hands, and brought his lips down on him. Magnus’s lips were warm and soft against his. They kissed, a slow and languid kiss. They both didn’t have the energy for anything more or anything else.

“Come,” Alec said. He stretched out his hands, and lifted Magnus up. “Lie down with me. He’s asleep now, so we should sleep too.”

They walked to the bed and crawled under the covers. Alec wrapped both his arms around Magnus and pulled him close. Magnus rested his head on Alec’s chest, his finger trailing patterns over Alec’s shoulder. “I love you,” he whispered. He lifted his head and pressed his lips once more on Alec’s.

“I love you too, fiancé!” Alec replied.

Magnus chuckled softly. “Fiancé, heh! I’ve never been anyone’s fiancé before.”

“Me neither,” Alec said. “How does it feel?”

“It feels great,” Magnus replied. “All in all I had a great day today. Got myself a fiancé and a son!”

“Congratulations.” Alec closed his arms a little tighter around his fiancé and closed his eyes. So he didn’t always get what he wanted. But he had enough. A beautiful warlock who loved him and now they had a son together. It was a miracle, a blessing. So unexpected and so beautiful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dear readers! I wanted to let you know I've started writing about Rafael! So when Max's story is done, Rafael's will come! I hope you will continue to enjoy it as much as I do! I <3 you all!! Thanks for leaving me wonderful comments. For sure they keep me going, knowing you want it makes me want to write it!


	89. Max Lightwood-Bane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Cassandra's newest book, 'Lord of Shadows,' I've decided to update A Malec Story today. This is the last chapter of Born To Endless Night. There's some sexual content in this chapter, to make up for Simon walking in on them! Enjoy, my lovely readers! And know that Rafael is on his way!  
> Disclaimer: art is from Allarica.

**_Magnus_ **

Magnus woke up to the sound of a baby crying. It took him a few moments to understand where the sound came from. But then it all came back to him. It was _his_ baby who was crying, wanting _his_ attention. He had a baby now. A baby and a fiancé.

And the baby wanted something. To be fed, to be changed. Magnus had no idea which it was, but he sat up in bed and looked toward the crib. Alec was already there, getting the baby out of the crib and onto the changing table. “I think he needs a bath,” Alec mumbled, while taking off the orange onesie the child was wearing.

A bath. That was one of the many things they’d found out babies needed. Babies needed so much. They needed special food and special clothes. They needed bottles and binkies and diapers, so many diapers, because they pooped all the time. And for the diapers they also needed a special diaper dispenser. Because you can’t go down all the stairs to the dumpster outside the Academy with every dirty diaper, since there were about ten of those a day. Ten a day!

It was mind blowing for Magnus, all these new things in his life, all of them came with one single child. Alec had been so calm through all of it. That was the only thing that made Magnus believe he could handle this. He wasn’t alone, his Shadowhunter was with him all the way. And more so, Alec wanted the child, loved the child. Who could ever love him? His mother had asked this question, and Magnus was so surprised to find out that the answer was that Alexander Lightwood could. Although, when he thought it through, it wasn’t that surprising. Alec had such a big heart, he was one of the most loving persons Magnus knew.

He’d been stunned when Alec had asked his hand in marriage. Alec had a way of surprising him. He did it again and again. Magnus still couldn’t quite believe it, that Alec really wanted to marry him. He was the first. In all the four hundred years Magnus had walked this earth, no one ever asked him to marry him. And now his Shadowhunter asked him and it broke his heart to turn him down. He wanted to say yes, and he had said yes, but his condition was that the Law would change. And when would that ever happen? They’d probably have to wait a long time.

Magnus didn’t want anything more than to marry Alec. But he wanted a valid marriage, not one that could be dismissed by the likes of Robert Lightwood or any other pretentious, smug Shadowhunter.

Magnus shook his head to clear it of these glum thoughts. He got up, dressed himself quickly in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and went to stand next to Alec, who was struggling with getting the baby into the bathtub. The baby was wriggling and started whimpering in protest.

“You need a bath,” Alec said to the child.

“He doesn’t seem to want it,” Magnus commented, as he took one of the baby’s arms in his hand, helping Alec along.

“Well, that’s too bad. We don’t always get what we want. And oftentimes we have to make do with what we get. Which is, in this case, a bath.”

“You’re very strict,” Magnus smiled at his boyfriend.

“Yes, of course.” Alec had gotten the child in the tub now. He put some baby oil on a cloth and wiped it over the baby’s chubby arms. “If we give in to him now, he’ll be so spoiled. He’ll always get what he wants, and he’ll become a brat. You don’t want a brat for a son, now, do you?”

Magnus regarded Alec in wonder, seeing how expertly he washed the child. “When did you become so wise?”

“I’ve always been wise,” Alec said, smirking.

“That is very true,” Magnus agreed. “I know you think you’re joking, but you speak the truth.”

“It’s a good thing you think so highly of me,” Alec said, while he continued washing his son. “Because I have a family who thinks it’s a good idea to have a baby shower in our apartment tomorrow.”

“Ai! Let me guess: Isabelle,” Magnus rolled his eyes at Alec.

“Yeah, who else? Can you grab a towel? This little man is done with bathing.” Alec lifted the baby out of the tub and pressed his wet body against his sweater, soaking it instantly.

Magnus quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around the boy, taking him from Alec, so Alec could change into something dry. “We have to give him a name,” he said as he put the child on the changing table and attempted to pat him dry.

Alec took off his sweater and pushed Magnus gently aside. “Don’t do it like that, you have to rub him dry, not pat him with the towel.” He gave Magnus an apologetic smile.

Magnus looked at him, amused at his boyfriend’s bossy attitude. He kind of liked it.

Alec deftly rubbed the towel over the baby’s skin, then he coated him in baby lotion before he put on a diaper and dressed him in a clean onesie. “What did you have in mind?”

“Huh?” Magnus was busy taking a picture with his phone of Alec with the baby.

“For a name. For the baby,” Alec explained. He walked with the child to a chair and sat down on it, bouncing the baby on his lap.

Magnus regarded him closely. What was he thinking? Magnus didn’t quite know. Maybe better to ask him rather than assume things that weren’t there. “Do you want to call him Max? You won’t think it’s painful?”

Alec was quiet for a while, seriously considering Magnus’s question. “I think it would be so beautiful if we call him Max. But he’s your child, too. There should be something of you in his name. Have you thought about it?”

“Well, not really,” Magnus confessed. “I mean, it wasn’t until last night that I was sure we would keep him. And I just woke up. But if you want to call him Max…”

“I want what you want,” Alec said. “If you’re not okay with it, we can think of something else.”

“I am okay with it,” Magnus replied, not sure what Alec wanted.

“Maybe better to think about it somewhat longer, sleep on it?” Alec suggested. “Tomorrow during the party we can announce the name.”

“But you want Max, right?” Magnus asked once more.

“Yes,” Alec replied, simple and straightforward. “I want Max. But I also want you to sleep on it, okay?”

“Okay,” Magnus smiled.

Later that day they took the baby out for a walk through the lands. Magnus had magicked up a stroller, one of the many things a baby needed, and the three of them were sauntering over the small paths that weaved through the lands.

It was still February, dreary and gray, but it was nice to be outside. And with the stroller, it had such a domestic feel about it, Magnus couldn’t deny that he loved it. Alec was pushing the stroller and Magnus took a picture to send to Lily. She’d been texting them about the baby, wanting to know how he was doing.

‘Baby and Alec are currently strolling through Idris.’ Magnus sent the picture with the text. Then he squatted down to pluck an early dandelion and held it out to the child. He was laughing and reached for the flower with his tiny, blue baby hands.

When he grabbed it from Magnus’s hand, he instantly propped the flower in his mouth. Magnus hurried to take it out again. “Don’t eat it, it’s not food!” he said, while waving his index finger in front of him. He stared up at him and started to cry.

“Oh, no. Now I’ve done it,” Magnus said, trailing a hand through his hair.

“Just give him the binky and his stuffed animal,” Alec suggested. He came to a stop and put the binky in the baby’s mouth. “You need to distract him, that works like a charm.”

“You work like a charm,” Magnus shot back at Alec.

Alec chuckled and continued walking. Magnus pushed him aside, playfully. “It’s my turn to push the stroller.”

Alec laughed and pushed him back. “Hey!” Magnus called out, indignant. “Go away, Shadowhunter. Leave me and my son alone.”

“No,” Alec said as he wrapped an arm around Magnus. “Never.”

“Good,” Magnus replied as he leaned into his boyfriend. “This is kind of wonderful. It’s all new and exhilarating. And I’m loving it.”

“Me, too.”

When they were almost back at the Academy the baby had fallen asleep. Alec carried him, stroller and all, up the stairs to their rooms, and put him in the small nursery. There wasn’t a separate room when they got here, but the baby needed the rest, so Magnus had summoned a few screens that made for a semi-wall and heavy velvet curtains that would block the light, making a separate space for the baby.

Magnus sat down on the bed. He had to conjure up some willpower to not fall backwards and sleep. Alec closed the curtains behind him and went to sit next to Magnus. “You’re tired?”

He lifted up his hand and trailed it softly through Magnus’s hair. Magnus tilted his head to the right and regarded him through hooded lids. “Maybe,” he replied.

“Maybe?” Alec chuckled. “You’re not sure?”

“No, I don’t think I am. Are you tired?” Magnus raised his eyebrows meaningfully at his fiancé.

Alec didn’t need to answer. He let himself fall on the bed and pulled Magnus with him and on top of him. His hand left Magnus’s hair and cupped his jaw, his finger brushing over his cheekbone. “Extremely tired,” he whispered.

Magnus bent down and pressed his lips against him. “Too bad,” he said softly.

Alec parted his lips and his tongue darted out, meeting Magnus’s. The kiss went through him like fire. Turning his bones into liquid. It had been too long ago, Magnus thought. And the last time, Simon had interrupted them. They needed to make up for that now.

He pushed his body into the contact, his hands on both sides of Alec’s face as he kissed him thoroughly breathless. Alec’s hands left his jaw and roamed over his back, sliding under his shirt and under the waistline of his pants, pulling at him. Magnus’s mouth left Alec’s and he travelled down over his throat to his collarbone. Ugh, clothes were in the way. Stupid clothes.

Magnus was impatient. And also scared that the baby would start crying again. He didn’t want to waste time with undressing. Good thing he was a warlock. He snapped his fingers, leaving both himself and Alec naked. 

Alec sucked in a breath at the sudden skin on skin contact, his fingers digging in Magnus’ butt. Magnus continued his trail of kisses over his boyfriend’s body. Down his chest, caressing his nipples, and further down over his abdomen. He kissed Alec’s beautiful six pack, his belly button. His hands brushed over Alec’s thighs. He felt Alec’s strong hands in his hair.

He wanted to be closer to him. Love him even more than he already did. It seemed to Magnus that it was never enough. The amount of love he could give to Alec, never enough. There was always more to give, because Alec deserved so much more. Magnus wondered if Alec knew, could comprehend, how immensely grateful he was to have him in his life. To love him. To call him his fiancé.

“I love you,” he whispered against Alec’s belly button. “I’m so privileged to love you.”

“I love you, too,” Alec’s voice sounded husky, low and urgent. It turned Magnus on. He moved further down, his hands stroking Alec’s inner thigh and his balls. His lips followed his hands. From his balls to his cock and Magnus took him in his mouth, as much of him as he could take. Alec moaned softly and dug his fingers in Magnus’s hair.

Magnus started sucking, his hand moving with his mouth. Faster, faster, and Alec tried to stay quiet but his moans got louder as Magnus worked him up to an orgasm. He wanted to show him how privileged he was. He wanted to show him stars and rainbows. And fireworks and lightning. He was going to give it to Alec and he didn’t care how loud Alec was.

Except, he didn’t want Alec to wake up the baby. Because he was nowhere close to being finished with this.

As he continued to suck, Alec thrust in his mouth, his movement becoming frantic. His body started to shiver and tremble and with a soft cry he came. Magnus swallowed all Alec gave him and sucked him until he was completely spent. Only then did he let go and sat up.

“That was hot,” Alec whispered, with his eyes closed.

Magnus went to lie next to him and caressed his face. “Good.”

Alec turned to his side and stared at him. His blue eyes blazing. Magnus thought he looked so beautiful. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him to his chest. “Good,” he repeated. “I wonder if you know, really know, how amazing it is to love you.”

“You remind me of it a lot,” Alec whispered against his chest. “So I think I know.”

“But do you, really?”

“You just showed it to me, didn’t you?” Alec lifted his head and looked at him. “And now I’m going to show you.”

He flipped Magnus on his back and straddled him. “Because it’s amazing to love you, too.”

He rained down kisses on him, on his neck and up to his ear. He whispered softly, his breath tickled Magnus’s ear and sent shivers down his spine. “Make love to me?”

Magnus nodded, unable to speak. Alec lifted his body, and turned to his side. Magnus was lying behind him now. He reached down between them, his fingers between Alec’s butt cheeks and slid a finger inside of him. Alec sighed against him as he massaged him, his finger moving inside of him. Alec rolled his hips, urging him on, whispering his name. “Magnus.”

Upon hearing his name, Magnus felt this great need to do what Alec asked him to. To make love to him. He removed his finger and pressed his tip against Alec’s entrance. His hand slid around him and stroked over his cock softly. Then he moved, slowly, inch by inch, entering him.

It was still so overwhelming. To be with Alec like this. To feel him all around, and to feel nothing else. To know nothing else but to love him. To love him.

His hand moved over Alec’s length as he started to thrust inside of him. Enthralling, mesmerizing Alec. Magnus pressed his forehead between Alec’s shoulder blades, his eyes tightly shut. Between his closed eyelids he saw little stars. Alec reached his hand back and pressed it on Magnus’s thigh, urging him on. They moved together, in perfect harmony. With every thrust speeding up the rhythm. There was this thrilling spiraling feeling in Magnus’s belly, which grew and grew with the movement.

He pressed his body against Alec, wanting to be as close to him as possible. Alec whispered his name again. “Magnus.” It sounded like a sigh, filled with contentment.

It was that whisper, that sounded so much like love, that pushed Magnus over the edge. He moaned loud when he came, pressing even harder against Alec, a dead grip on him. Just to be closer. Closer.

They both grew quiet, and laid still for a little while, before Magnus moved and slipped out of Alec. Alec turned around in his arms and pressed his lips against Magnus. “That was hot,” he whispered against Magnus’s lips.

“It sure was,” Magnus agreed.

Alec shifted his head and nuzzled against Magnus, closing his eyes. “I am tired, though,” he said slowly.

“Let’s take a nap, then.” Magnus pulled the comforter over both of them, pulled Alec against his chest and closed his eyes. Before he drifted off he thought once more how lucky he was, how extremely privileged to love this Shadowhunter and be loved by him.

* * *

There was no escaping the Lightwoods. Isabelle had forced the baby party on them and Magnus decided to invite some people from the Academy. If there was going to be a party, then he wanted more guests than just the Lightwoods. He had, after all, a reputation to maintain.

So there were some students, including Simon, and some teachers too, including Catarina, attending the party. The teenagers were giddy with excitement to be invited to such an important party, hosted by such important people.

And Magnus had taken his time to present himself as fabulous again. No more baby spit and wrecked hair. Isabelle had ruined a few of his shirts, so Magnus allowed himself to conjure up the latest fashion: a black gauze shirt with a  tight-fitting, blue glitter sweater underneath.

The Lightwoods showed up, loud and noisy as always. All of them wanting to hold the baby. Luckily, Simon’s watch had a stopwatch on it, and he explained to Robert Lightwood how it worked. They set a timer, and everyone was allowed four minutes with the baby before he needed to be passed on to the next person. Magnus wondered how healthy that was, for the child in particular.

The child. He needed a name. Magnus couldn’t keep calling him baby or child. Alec wanted to call him Max. His parents and sister had suggested it, Max Lightwood. Named after Alec’s brother with a Shadowhunter name for a last name. A Shadowhunter name for a warlock child. It touched Magnus, how easily his family-in-law had accepted this child as Alec’s son in their lives. And to want to give him a Shadowhunter name? Magnus didn’t even want to argue with that. Max it would be. Alec would be so happy, too, and that was what mattered the most to Magnus.

It was high time for everyone to know the name of this child. His child. Their child. But where was he? He found him in the kitchen, in the arms of Maryse. She handed him to Magnus reluctantly, when he told her it was time for his bottle. He was feeding him with Maryse looking over his shoulder. She commented on how good he was with the baby.

“Alec is better,” he replied.

She was proud of her son, Magnus could tell. And that did him good. Together they walked back to the living room. Magnus regarded all the people there, people he loved, people who would play an important part in his son’s life too. He was standing on the threshold between the kitchen and the living room, his son in his arms, when Robert Lightwood came to stand next to him.

“Hello, little man,” said Robert to the baby. “Where did you go off to?”

He looked at Maryse suspiciously, obviously accusing her for taking the baby to the kitchen, away from him.

“Magnus and I were having a talk,” she said.

“Oh?” Robert said. “Have you decided on his name?”

Robert had such a booming voice that everyone heard his question, just as the music stopped playing. Alec jumped up from the sofa and went to stand next to Magnus. He was looking at him, and Magnus saw the hope in his eyes. He knew what it meant and didn’t want anything more than to make him happy.

“We did talk about it, actually,” Magnus said, and he regarded Maryse. “And we thought that you had the right idea.”

“You mean . . . ,” she said.

“I am delighted to introduce you all,” Magnus raised his voice slightly, “to Max Lightwood.”

Alec reached for him then, his hand pressed against Magnus’s back, and he smiled up at him. A radiant smile. “Max Lightwood-Bane.”


	90. Lipstick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some Malec domesticy, with Max back in New York. Trigger warning for smutty content. Enjoy this chapter of the three of them. Next chapter: Rafael! The Lightwood-Bane family is expanding :) <3

####  _**Magnus** _

“Max Michael! No! No!” Magnus yelled, but it was already too late. Max had grabbed Chairman Meow’s tail and pulled hard. The Chairman yowled and jumped away. He went running through the room and climbed on the highest shelf of the bookcase. Out of Max’s reach.

Magnus picked his son up from the floor and waved his finger at him. “Don’t pull the Chairman’s tail, Max!”

Max looked at him with big blue eyes and giggled. It was the sweetest little sound which melted Magnus’s heart. He could never stay mad at him for long.

It was only a week ago that they returned home from Idris. They were supposed to stay there for about six weeks, but because of Max’s unexpected arrival they went back to New York two weeks earlier. 

Max was part of their lives for five weeks now, and Magnus couldn’t imagine a life without him anymore. He was about nine months old, crawling all over the place, pulling the Chairman’s tail, and he was getting his first tooth.

Alec and he had decided on Max’s middle name. Michael. Since his first name was a Shadowhunter name, his middle name might as well be one too. And it pleased Robert. “Are you okay with Michael?” Alec had asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Magnus had replied.

“Because these are all Shadowhunter names and he’s a warlock,” Alec had said.

“Michael is the name of an Angel. So I think it’s fitting,” Magnus had given Alec a big smile and Alec had nodded, his eyes shining with happiness. So, Michael it was.

Isabelle had made good on her promise of baby-proofing the apartment. She also painted one of the spare rooms blue, with pictures of sea animals on the walls. A dolphin, a seal, a penguin. There was a soft blue crib and a matching changing table. Magnus had to admit that she’d done a stellar job with it.

Now life was going back to its normal rhythm. Except that everything had changed. Alec wasn’t going to the Institute every day anymore. He went every other day instead, and Magnus planned his appointments with clients on the days Alec was home. He cut back his workload too. He wanted to be around as much as possible. He didn’t want to spend time making money, which he had enough of anyways, if he could also spend that time with his fiancé and his son.

Alec was supposed to come home any moment now. Magnus went to sit on the couch, Max on his lap, and bounced him softly. “Daddy is coming home soon,” he said softly. “Can you say daddy? Say daddy? Shall we surprise him with a nice dinner? I won’t tell him you pulled the Chairman’s tail again. But you have to promise me to stop doing that.”

Max just stared at him, his mouth open, drooling on his onesie. Because of his first tooth he was drooling all the time and crying all the time too. Babies were extremely tiring, Magnus had found out. But his child was worth it, worth every sleepless night. He’d crawled his way into Magnus’s heart. He belonged to him now, his son. He wouldn’t want it any other way.

The only thing he regretted was his own lack of fabulousness. Clothes with drool on them was the newest fashion in the Lightwood-Bane mansion. Magnus had even put on one of Alec’s faded sweaters one day. How low can a man sink?

“You know what?” he said to Max. “We’re going to dress up. Put on some nice clothes. Style our hair. Put on some makeup and cologne. What do you think? Good idea?”

He brought his son with him to the master bedroom and changed into maroon leather pants and a nice Armani dress shirt. “Now you can’t drool on me anymore, okay?” he warned Max. They went to the nursery next, where he dressed his son in a nice pair of yellow jeans and a red sweater.

Next stop, the bathroom. With Max on his hip, Magnus rummaged through the glitter and the gel. He hadn’t used this stuff for weeks, it was high time! He took a blue lipstick and regarded it closely. Wasn’t this the lipstick he wore on the day he met Alec? He was pretty sure it was the same lipstick. It matched Alec’s eyes. Alec should wear it, it would look so good on him.

No way would Alec be willing to put on lipstick though. But Magnus could always try. It couldn’t hurt to ask, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Just then he heard the key in the lock of the front door, signaling Alec’s arrival. “Daddy is here!” he beamed at Max. With Max in his one arm and the blue lipstick in his other, he walked to the living room.

“Hi honey,” he said to Alec, who was just shrugging his jacket off.         

Alec smiled and walked over to them, wrapping his arms around them both. He kissed Magnus on the lips and Max on his curls. “Hi. How are you two?”

“We did some dressing up. Can’t you tell?” Magnus twirled around, smirking.

“Yeah, I can tell. What’s the occasion?”

“You coming home! We missed you!” Magnus held out the lipstick to Alec. “You should join us in dressing up. This lipstick totally matches your eyes.”

A deep frown appeared on Alec’s forehead and he shook his head. “No way I’m putting on lipstick.”

“Oh come on! It’ll look so good on you,” Magnus pleaded. “Please, pretty please?”

“No,” Alec said, and Magnus could hear in the tone of his voice that he meant it. Like really, really meant it.

“Humor me?” he tried once more.

“I will tell you this only once, Magnus. Come hell or high water, I will not, I will never wear lipstick. Okay?”

“Okay, grumpy man,” Magnus smiled at him and kissed him on the top of his nose. “I’ll put it on Max then.”

He removed the cap from the lipstick and held it out to Max’s lips. Alec grabbed his wrist before he could reach Max.  “Magnus! Don’t put makeup on our baby, please?”

“Oh, very well,” Magnus pouted. “It’s almost the same color as his skin anyway, so it wouldn’t show. I’ll put him down for a nap. But when I come back…” he held out a hand in warning as he regarded Alec sternly. “You’d better lose the grumpy act!”

He raised his eyebrows, gave Alec a wink and retreated to the nursery. Max went to sleep almost instantly. Magnus caressed his blue curls and bent over the crib to kiss his head. “Sleep well, my child,” he whispered.

Back in the living room he leaned against the doorpost and regarded his boyfriend. Alec was sitting on the couch, looking at his phone. Magnus tapped with his shoe on the floor to get his attention. When Alec looked up he tilted his head and raised his arms over his head, giving his boyfriend a provocative look.

Alec smiled instantly and got up from the couch. “Sorry for being grumpy,” he said as he walked to him and wrapped his arms around Magnus’s waist. “You look hot.”

“Don’t apologize, you’re tired.” Magnus took Alec’s hand and led him to the bedroom. “Tell you what, I’ll give you a massage, okay? It’s my job, after all.” 

“My mom still pays you for it?” Alec asked, with mirth in his voice.

“Yeah, she even raised it to a 1000 dollars a week now that we have Max.”

Alec laughed. “What are you doing with all that money, I wonder.”

“I buy lipstick obviously,” Magnus replied, showing Alec the blue lipstick he still held in his hand. “Now, go lie on the bed, please.”

Alec removed his sweater and went to lie flat on his stomach. “Jeans too,” Magnus ordered.

“Why?”

“Why? What a stupid question. You don’t have muscles in your legs?” Magnus laughed.

Alec sat up, shaking his head, but he obediently removed his jeans. After he laid down again, Magnus straddled him. But before he did, he took off his leather pants. Clothes would only get in the way, and he didn’t want to spill massage oil on his beloved pants.

He snapped with his fingers to summon up the perfect bergamot scented massage oil and coated his hands with it. With firm strokes he moved them over Alec’s toned back and shoulders. Alec hummed softly in enjoyment. After about ten minutes of working Alec’s muscles, Magnus moved further down over his lower back and slid his hands under the waistband of Alec’s boxers. He shifted his body to shove the briefs down Alec’s legs and then he placed his oil covered hands on Alec’s butt. Everything was slippery and oily and it was all very sensual. Magnus enjoyed the feel of Alec’s soft skin, all warm because of his massage skills. It lighted a curious spark in his stomach. He moved his hands further down Alec’s legs and calves.

Alec lay with his eyes closed, every now and then he sighed in contentment. Magnus moved his hands back upwards over his legs and thighs until he was back at Alec’s firm butt. He loved Alec’s butt, it was really tight and beautiful. He kneaded and rubbed, before his fingers slid between Alec’s cheeks. He brushed them over the sensitive skin and then, very slowly, he entered Alec with his index finger. Alec moaned softly as he moved his finger further inside of him and massaged him, touching him where he knew Alec would love it. Alec’s eyes were tightly shut now, and Magnus continued his movement. His other hand went down between Alec’s thighs, gently cupping his balls.

“Magnus,” Alec whispered.

“Yes, honey?”

“Make love to me?”

Magnus bent forward and kissed Alec’s neck. “You want me to?”

Alec lifted his head and turned, trying to look Magnus in the eyes. “Yes. I want to feel you inside of me.”

“Okay,” Magnus replied with a low voice. He didn’t need to be asked again. Massaging Alec like this had brought his blood up to the boil. There was this fluttering feeling in his stomach that was screaming for a form of release. And to love Alec, there was nothing greater.

He sat up, moved his hands from Alec’s butt and took off his shirt and boxer short. Alec shifted his legs so Magnus could lie between them. He slid his cock between Alec’s butt cheeks, pressing against him and slowly entering him. Alec groaned as Magnus moved further inside of him, all the way in, until he was completely sheathed inside of him. He bent forward and kissed Alec’s back, between his shoulder blades. “I love you,” he whispered, “So much.”

He started retreating and thrusting, propped up on his hands he looked down on his cock appearing and disappearing between Alec’s cheeks. The sight of it made the coiling in his belly almost unbearable. His thrust came faster and more frantic. Thoughts flew out of his head. The only thing he could think was how he loved Alec. And how he loved it how Alec made him feel, and how he made Alec feel.

Alec was moaning loudly and Magnus could tell he was close to coming. He sped up his rhythm, thrusting deep into his boyfriend, and as a result Alec cried out his name, his body shuddered as he came. Magnus thrust a few more times inside of him before he lost it completely. He felt the coiling explode as he shot his release into Alec, and almost fell down on Alec’s back.

“By the Angel,” Alec whispered. “I don’t think I ever came like this. What happened?”

Magnus chuckled as he moved and went to lie next to Alec. His fingers trailing patterns on Alec’s back. “I don’t know,” he whispered as he leaned in and kissed Alec on his lips. “But it was really hot.”

“Really hot,” Alec agreed. He sat up and took a towel to wipe himself and the bed sheets clean. “I made a mess here.”

“I think I did that,” Magnus smirked.

Alec laughed and pulled Magnus in his arms. “You’re wonderful.”

He went to lie on his back and took Magnus with him. It was about ten seconds later when Magnus heard his breathing even out. He lifted his head and saw Alec was sound asleep. Carefully he extricated himself from Alec’s arms and placed a blanket over his boyfriend. Then he started dressing himself.

On the floor he found the blue lipstick. He took it and looked from it to Alec, feeling a little mischievous. Alec was asleep, he wouldn’t know. Magnus bent over his boyfriend and smeared the lipstick on his lips. He couldn’t help but snicker. Alec would be so mad if he found out.

About an hour later Max started crying. Magnus was just reading a letter Tessa had sent him from the Spiral Labyrinth. He stood up and went to get Max. After changing his diaper he took him with him to the master bedroom. Alec was awake and in the middle of putting on his clothes.

Max stretched out his arms toward Alec, indicating he wanted him to hold him. Alec smiled, and Magnus thought that blue lipstick really did fit him well. Especially now that his eyes were open, blue and shining.

Max noticed the difference too. He giggled in Alec’s arms and pressed his little baby fist against Alec’s mouth. “Dada,” he said.

Alec laughed against his hand. “What did you say?”

“Dada,” Max repeated as he removed his hand from Alec’s lips and waved it in front of him. 

Alec took his hand and regarded the smear of blue, a few shades lighter than his own skin. “What’s this?”

He took a few steps toward the mirror and stared at his reflection. The lipstick was smudged out due to Max’s hand. Alec’s hair was standing up in every direction. He looked highly adorable, a stunned expression on his face and his son giggling in his arms.

“What? Are you for real?” He turned to look at Magnus, the frown was back on his forehead. He took a few threatening steps into Magnus’s direction. “MAGNUS!”

Magnus shied back, holding both hands out in front of him by way of apology.

“I’m going to pound on you,” Alec said as he backed Magnus up in the corner of the bedroom.

Uh oh, Magnus thought, now I’m screwed. His only weapon was Max. “You’re holding our baby! Be careful.”

“I can put him down,” Alec said and placed Max on the bed. But Max wouldn’t have it. He reached out his arms toward Alec. “Daddy!”

Alec froze in his movement toward Magnus and turned to watch his son in amazement. He instantly picked him up again and pulled him in a hug. “What did you say? You called me daddy? You really just called me daddy?”

His smile was so wide, it made something flutter in Magnus’s stomach, to see Alec so delighted. Max started giggling in reply to Alec’s smile and Magnus couldn’t help but laugh out loud now. This was nothing short of paradise, he thought. To have both your son and your fiancé looking so incredibly happy.

Magnus took out his phone and made a picture. Alec looked extremely beautiful, even with the smudgy blue lipstick. He looked down on his son and Max was looking back, a big smile on his lips as well. “Daddy,” he repeated and he pointed at Alec.

“Yes!” Alec replied. “I’m your daddy.”

Magnus dared to approach them now and wrapped an arm around Alec. Alec smiled up at him. “He calls me daddy!”

“So I heard! I did practice it with him though.” Magnus smiled.

“What about you?” Alec asked, “Should he call you daddy, too?”

“Maybe papa,” Magnus suggested. “I like the sound of that.”

Alec nodded and looked back at Max. “Magnus is papa, okay? Can you say that too?” he pointed at Magnus. “Say after me: papa, papa.”

Max looked deadly serious now, as if he understood what Alec was saying. And then, after Alec repeated it a couple of times, he said it. “Papa.” He stretched both his hands out to Magnus now and said it again. “Papa.”

Magnus took him in his arms and nuzzled his nose against Max’s curls. He took his phone in his other hand and took a selfie with Max and Alec. All three of them beaming. They were one happy family. Really happy.

 


	91. Buenos Aires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace asks Alec to go to Buenos Aires to solve a vampire issue there. But when Alec goes, he finds something unexpected in the streets of the city. A lost boy, a boy with the Sight. Who is he? And what is he doing there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues and the Lightwood-Bane family expands...

####  **_Alec_ **

**August, 2012.**

“Max, eat your carrot,” Alec said sternly.

“No,” Max replied, throwing his fork on the table.

“If you don’t finish dinner, then you won’t get any dessert,” Alec threatened.

Max threw his little, blue arm in the air, and the one carrot left on his plate flew across the room. It stayed hanging in the air between the table and the ceiling. Alec stared at it open mouthed, pretty sure he’d never seen a carrot behave like this.

“Magnus!” he called out to his fiancé, who was busy preparing dessert in the kitchen. “Come! You have to see this.”

Magnus came walking with long strides to the living room. Alec pointed to the carrot, still hanging midair. “Look!”

Magnus noticed the carrot and started laughing. “Max!” he exclaimed, turning to his son. “Did you do that?” He caressed him lovingly over his blue curls. “My little blueberry.”

Max smiled proudly up at him, “Papa.”

“He still needs to eat it, though,” Alec said.

Magnus nodded and took his phone out of his pants pocket to make a picture. “It’s hilarious! Our son, the warlock!”

Alec shook his head. “Please don’t encourage him. We’ll never get him to eat anything.”

Magnus winked at him and walked back to the kitchen.

Alec faced his son and said with his most stern voice, “Now Max, get the carrot back on your plate, and eat it. Otherwise, no dessert for you. Daddy is serious.”

His phone gave a ping sound and he checked it. A text from Magnus.

**_Come on, honey. Leave him be._ **

He grunted in frustration and texted back.

**_Look, I’m glad you’re not saying this aloud, undermining me and all. But he needs to finish his food. You don’t want him to never want to eat veggies, do you?_ **

He put the phone down and looked at Max again. “Now? What’s it going to be?”

Another ping made him look at his phone again.

**_Of course not. But threatening him with dessert? Idk if that’s the best approach. And I have arranged for such a good dessert too. <3  
_ **

Alec shook his head and typed a reply.

**_Are you trying to flirt to get your way?_ **

He went to stand and reach out for the carrot. But before he could take it Max raised his arm again, and the carrot went flying back to his plate. In the meantime Magnus texted back.

**_Is it working? You know I love you. ;)  
_ **

Alec couldn't suppress a smile at that.

**_Shut up <3  
_ **

He heard Magnus laugh in the kitchen, which made him laugh, too. Max looked at him, all serious now, and took his fork in his hand. “I not want carrot,” he said.

“You not want carrot? Really?” Alec smiled against better judgment. Hearing Max talk in this cute grammatically wrong English always made his heart jump. But he wasn’t going to cave in. Max was three years old. If he was going to get his way now, Alec was afraid of how it would be when he was sixteen. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but sometimes you get things you don’t want. And carrots are good for you, so you’ll have to just listen to me and eat it. Ok?”

Finally, Max nodded and forked the carrot. While he took a huge bite out of it Alec texted Magnus.

**_Ha! He’s eating the carrot._ **

Ping!

**_Good for you, darling. You’re the best._ **

Only seconds later Magnus arrived with three bowls in his hand. “Ice cream with strawberries,” he said and smiled widely as he put the bowls on the table.

“Wow! What’s that for?” Alec asked.

In reply Magnus extended a hand to him, a package in it that wasn’t there a second ago. “We’re celebrating. It’s been five years to the day when you stood here at the door with a party invitation. Five years since the day we met.”

“Is it?” Alec felt a little guilty for not remembering that. “Sorry, I didn’t think about it.”

He took the package from Magnus who was still grinning. “No need to apologize, darling!”

Alec unwrapped the gift and found a book inside. It was a classic, one of his favorites. Milton’s Paradise Lost. It looked perfect and marvelously ancient. “It’s a first edition,” Magnus said, proudly.

“How is that even possible?” Alec’s eyebrows shot up.

Magnus wiggled his fingers. “By the power of magic!”

Alec looked at him suspiciously. “Did you steal it out of some museum?”

“What? No!” Magnus held both his hands out in defense. “I bought it. Paid an exorbitant amount of money for it, too.” He sat down and placed Max’s bowl in front of him. “Do you think you can eat it by yourself, or should I help you?”

Max pointed at him. “Papa help.”

“Very well.” Magnus took the spoon and fed Max the ice cream while Alec browsed through the book.

“This is really nice, thank you!” Alec put down the book and started his dessert. While eating he watched Magnus with amusement, since he managed to make their child look like a blue sundae, all covered in vanilla ice cream.

“I think,” Alec said, shoving the now empty bowl away. “It’s high time for a bath for this little man.”

“Bath!” Max repeated, enthusiastic. “With bubbles.”

“Yes, with bubbles,” Alec said.

He stood up and lifted Max from the chair and made their way to the bathroom. There he filled the tub and let Max add bubbles to the water. “You come with me in bath, daddy?” Max asked.

“You want me to?” Alec asked. He was sometimes still surprised that Max actually wanted him there. That he preferred him over other people, although he loved Magnus just as much. It had been Alec’s greatest fear, that Max wouldn’t like him. But it seemed this fear was unjustified.

“Yes!” Max beamed at him, “Want to, want to!” He clapped in his hands to underline his enthusiasm at the idea.

“Very well,” Alec smiled and started to undress first Max and then himself. In the bathtub they played with Max’s toys, blowing bubbles and making the little, yellow bathtub ducks race against each other. Max was splashing around, creating a big mess, but Alec didn’t care. When you have a child, you have to live with the mess. He wouldn’t want it any other way.

Jace would come around once in awhile, and the neat freak would sigh and automatically start cleaning up. Very handy. Alec couldn’t be bothered with constantly cleaning up after his child. The mess would have to do, for now at least.

Magnus entered the bathroom with Alec’s phone in his hand. “Alec, it’s Jace.”

“I’m in the bathtub,” Alec said, waving around to emphasize what he’d just said.

“I can see that,” Magnus replied, smiling. “Jace said it was urgent, though.”

Alec reached for a towel from the rack next to the tub and dried his hands. “Give it to me.”

Magnus handed him the phone and went to sit on the edge of the tub, his attention on Max.

“Jace. What is it?” Alec grumbled into the phone.

“Hey Alec. We got a call from the Buenos Aires Institute. They’re investigating a vampire-worshipping cult, and they asked for backup.”

“Oh? But, uhm, why are you calling me for that?” Alec asked, surprised.

“Because you are worldwide famous for your vampire skills,” Jace replied as if it was the most normal thing on earth.

“Vampire skills? What are you talking about?”

“You know! Lily, the New York clan. You’re a pro, Alec. They asked for you specifically, and it seems there’s some hurry too, because it’s getting out of hand. So I went ahead and booked you a flight for tomorrow morning. I only booked the one ticket, because I assume you’ll be going alone?” Jace spoke rapidly. “You know we can’t miss anyone in the Institute, because of the Clave check up. And I guess Magnus can’t come, because of Max. But you’ll be fine on your own, right?”

“You booked me a flight to Buenos Aires without asking me first? Jace!”

Magnus looked up in wonder and Alec rolled his eyes at him.

“Yeah, because I figured you’d want to help me out with this. I can’t go, and you are the best person for the job. Come on, Alec.” Jace sounded pleading now.

“What about Max?” Alec sputtered one last time, knowing perfectly well it was futile.

“Magnus will be there, right? And you know you can always bring him here, mom wouldn’t mind.” Jace sounded impatient now. “You’ll go, Alec?”

“Yeah, I’ll go. What time does the flight leave?”

“Tomorrow morning at ten, JFK airport.” Alec heard Jace typing into his computer. “I’m sending you the specifics, the flight ticket and the stuff about the cult. You’re a lifesaver, Alec, really.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Alec said. “Gotta go, have to pack.”

He hung up the phone and sat up. “Apparently I’m going to Buenos Aires.” He told Magnus.

“So I’ve heard,” Magnus replied, while patting Max’s hand, bubbles flying around the bathroom. “For how long?”

Alec shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’m leaving tomorrow morning. Flight leaves at ten.”

“Sucks,” Magnus said. “If it’s going to take long, you’ll have to let me know, I’ll come and join you.”

“What about Max?” Alec asked.

“Maryse will take care of him. Or I’ll bring him with me. We’ll see.” Magnus smiled and brushed a hand over Alec’s cheek. “Don’t worry, honey.”

“I’m not worried. I’m frustrated. Jace forcing my hand like this.”

Max was splashing around in the tub. “Papa in bath?” he asked Magnus.

“No. I’m good,” Magnus said. “Don’t want to wet my clothes.”

He snapped his fingers, changing the color of the bubbles from white to orange and then from orange to blue. Max giggled and threw water around, then suddenly he reached out a hand and grabbed Magnus. Magnus didn’t expect it and lost his footing. With a splash and a loud yelp he fell backwards in the bathtub. Max roared with laughter while water gulfed over the tub into the bathroom.

Magnus sputtered, water dripping from his hair and clothes. His long legs dangling over the tub. Alec laughed along with Max. “Don’t want to wet your clothes, huh?”

Magnus recovered from the shock and joined Alec and Max in laughing. “Aren’t we a jolly family,” he said. He pushed himself up and out of the tub and took off his wet clothes.

Alec got up, too. “I’ve got to pack. And you,” he regarded his son, who was still giggling. “It’s time for bed for you.”

“I not wanna go to bed,” Max pouted.

“That’s too bad,” Alec said, while rubbing himself dry. “You have to.”

After putting Max to bed and packing his clothes, Alec checked the message Jace send him. A ticket for a flight from JFK to Aeroparque Jorge Newbery. From there it was only a fifteen minutes drive to the Buenos Aires Institute.

Magnus looked over his shoulder. “Buenos Aires is nice. Haven’t been there for a long time, though.”

Alec leaned against him for a second. “I hope it won’t take too long. I’m going to miss you.”

In reply Magnus wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. “Me, too! Just say the word and I’ll come portalling. Okay?”

“Okay,” Alec sighed and closed his eyes, inhaling Magnus’s scent and enjoying the feel of him. “I’ll do that.”

* * *

**Buenos Aires**

The flight went well, to Alec’s relief. He wasn’t really fond of flying, he preferred portalling. Went much faster too. The taxi driver who could barely speak a word of English dropped Alec off in front of the Institute. He was telling him in broken English that he didn’t understand what Alec wanted with that old ruin of a church. The Institute was glamoured and the mundane taxi driver didn’t see what was there in reality. A beautiful old cathedral, which bore some likeness to the one in New York.

After ringing the doorbell Alec texted both Magnus and Jace to tell them he had arrived. The door opened and a young, blonde woman stood in the doorway. “You must be Alec Lightwood?” she extended a hand which Alec shook.

“Yes.”

“I’m so happy you’re here. My name is Lydia Branwell. Please follow me to our control room, and I can explain to you what’s going on.”

The inside of this Institute was different from the one in New York. It was bright, and in the control room were several desks with computers on them. They were miles ahead of other Institutes here, Alec thought. Using computers regularly wasn’t a custom in the Shadowhunter world.

Lydia offered him some coffee, and introduced him to her husband, Patrick, and a few other Shadowhunters from the Buenos Aires Conclave. “We’re all relatively new here. During the Dark War, Sebastian had ambushed this Institute and turned every one. The family living here, Matthias and Beatriz Gonzales, were turned. Their three children, Samuel, Rosaly and Rafael were killed. At least, we found the bodies of the two eldest. Rafael was a baby. We don’t know what happened to him, but he’s presumed dead.”

“That’s terrible,” Alec said, while taking a sip of the coffee.

Lydia nodded. “It’s really sad.”

Patrick rotated one of the computer screens to show Alec a picture of the family. They looked happy, all five of them with black hair, brown eyes and bronze sun-kissed skin. The two children, toddlers about the age of Max, smiled happily into the camera. The mother was holding the youngest, a baby with dark curls. Seeing the children and knowing they all died made Alec’s heart ache.

He’d always had a soft spot for children, but now that he had one of his own, that feeling had intensified.

“Anyway,” Lydia shook her head, as if to clear it. “We’re really grateful that you were willing to come. We’ve heard so much about you and we really need your help.”

“Tell me, what are you dealing with?”

Patrick typed something into the computer and a new picture appeared on the screen. This one showed a couple of vampires with pale looking humans around them. Subjugates, Alec knew. Subjugates are humans who are used by vampires as their personal supply of fresh blood. Since they don’t kill the subjugates, technically it isn’t illegal. But it’s despicable, because the humans get addicted to the vampire venom that comes with every bite.

Despicable it was, but it wasn’t anything new, so Alec was still in the dark about what he was supposed to do here.

“These are the vampires we’re having trouble with. The tall one, Rodrigo, is a narcissistic son of a bitch. He’s gathered these subjugates around him, but even worse, the subjugates are recruiting mundanes for worship services. It took us months of careful investigation, but we finally figured out what it is what they do during these worship services—every time one of the mundanes is sacrificed to Rodrigo.”

Alec wrinkled up his nose. “That’s awful. And of course, totally illegal. So why haven’t you arrested him yet?”

"We can’t get to him. And we can’t get to any of the other vampires either. That’s why we need your help. You can do it. You can get to them and make them turn him in.” Lydia weaved a hand through her blonde hair, while regarding Alec closely. “Will you help us?”

“That’s why I’m here. What’s the plan?”

Lydia showed him a map of Buenos Aires and pointed to some streets. “We’re going to patrol these streets tonight. We’re sure a gathering will be happening here again. Hopefully we’ll be able to catch someone. Maybe a subjugate? That would at least bring us a step closer to Rodrigo.”

***

That evening Alec dressed up in gear, his bow strapped to his back, ready to patrol the streets of Buenos Aires. Patrick and Lydia were with him. It was weird, patrolling with people other than Jace and Isabelle, he was so used to his sister and parabatai.

They were all glamoured, invisible for mundanes. This way they could try to enter the worship service without any of the humans noticing them. The subjugates would be able to see through the glamour, so it was important to be really careful. They entered a dark alley, filled with garbage. It smelled like vomit and rotting fruit and it looked like all the filth of Buenos Aires lived there. Patrick pointed to a gray door, covered with spray paint. “Here’s where those services are held,” he whispered.

“Let’s take a look inside,” Alec replied.

He set his stele to the door and drew an opening rune, and the three of them entered. The inside was dark and smelled really bad. Alec took his witchstone between his fingers and lit the space. It was a small hallway with several doors. He placed his ear against the first one. There was nothing but silence.

But behind the second door he heard murmuring. A sort of chanting, it seemed. Silent as a cat he opened the door and glanced inside.

The room was lit with candles and filled with around fifty people. He scanned the room, looking for vampires, but it seemed none were there. He entered carefully. No one noticed him, they were all focused on the chant, and their gaze was fixed on the altar in the front of the room. On the altar was a stone table, and on the table lay a dark haired woman, bound with ropes.

Lydia and Patrick followed Alec into the room. “Call for backup,” Alec whispered to Patrick.

He nodded and retreated. Alec motioned Lydia to stay next to the door to guard it. He walked into one of the pews and regarded the people closely. Most of them seemed to be mundane. But the four people on the front row were subjugates. Their gray skin gave them away.

One of them stood and turned around, facing the crowd. He raised his head and said in a gravelly voice, “Today we will sacrifice Maria Rosales to the great Rodrigo, may he live forever.”

“May he live forever,” the crowd murmured in reply.

The subjugate turned to the woman and bowed his head over her. “Are you ready to embrace your destiny?” he asked.

“I will serve the great Rodrigo to my death,” the woman replied.

Alec cast a concerned glance towards Lydia. There were too many people here, he didn’t know how to deal with all of them. But there was no way he was going to let this woman be killed under his eyes. Lydia nodded to him once and opened the door. Behind the door he saw the witchlight of a dozen Shadowhunters.

He nodded back and hurried out of the pew to the side. He slowly walked forward to the front of the room. The subjugate was holding a knife, and he seemed to be ready to plunge it into the woman’s heart. Alec spanned an arrow in his bow and let it fly. It knocked the knife out of the subjugates hand and sent it flying. The subjugate looked up and saw him.

“Shadowhunter!” he cried and leaped on him. But before he could reach him Alec had shot another arrow into his heart. The man crumpled to the ground and remained unmoving.

In the meantime, the other Shadowhunters entered the room and spread out.

“Make sure to get one of the subjugates alive!” Alec yelled. “But let the mundanes go.”

He rushed forward to free the woman on the stone table. She struggled against him. “I see you, Shadowhunter. I have the Sight! You have to let me die for the great Rodrigo,” she shouted.

“I will not,” Alec replied. He took her firmly by the hand and led her to a chair. Then he leaped for one of the subjugates, who tried to flee the room. Lydia got a hold of another one, and the fourth was captured by one of the other Shadowhunters. The subjugates were bound and Lydia ordered for them to be taken back to the Institute for interrogation.

Alec went to sit down next to the woman, who had calmed down a bit. “What’s your name?” he asked gently.

“Maria Rosales,” she replied.

“Maria, I know you want to die for Rodrigo. But that’s just not going to happen today, okay? You are brainwashed, but we’ll do everything we can to cure you.”

She looked at him with big eyes. “Who says I want to be cured? Rodrigo will grant me eternal life.”

“Rodrigo wants to drink your blood, and when he’s done with you he’ll cast your drained body aside,” Alec said slowly. It was harsh, but it was the truth. “He’s a vampire, he cannot grant you eternal life. No one can.”

He stood up and reached out a hand to lift her up. “Come with me, we’re going to make you better.”

She obediently followed him out of the now empty building into the alley. Alec told Lydia to take her to the Institute. “Do you know any warlocks here?” he asked Lydia. “They could cast a spell to release her from the bondage.”

“Yes, I know the High Warlock of Buenos Aires, Lisa Bosque.”

“Call her,” Alec turned to enter the building. “I’m going to investigate, to see if I can find anything that will help us find the vampire clan.”

About half an hour later, after taking pictures and looking at the ritual objects in the room, Alec went out in the alley again. He was just about to take off when he heard a rustling in the pile of garbage. He looked around and saw a pair of eyes looking at him from behind a dumpster. He took a step forward. The eyes didn’t move but regarded him closely.

“Can you see me?” he asked softly.

The eyes moved. Alec saw they belonged to a small child, who appeared from behind the dumpster. He was small, no older than five, and incredibly thin and filthy. His clothes hung in rags around his small body. His cheeks were sunken, the cheekbones protruding. He was clearly underfed. Alec’s heart ached at the sight of him, and his thoughts went to Max instantly. To see a child suffer always made him think about Max, and what his lot would’ve been if he hadn’t come into Alec and Magnus’s life.

Alec crouched down and extended a hand to the child. “You can come to me. I won’t harm you. I want to help you.”

The boy took a step forward, but didn’t take Alec’s hand. “What’s your name?” Alec asked.

“Rafe,” it came as a whisper.

“Rafe. My name is Alec. Do you know how it’s possible that you can see me?”

Rafe shook his head, his eyes big and filled with dread. It occurred to Alec that he might not understand him. “Don’t be afraid,” he said, wanting badly to reassure the kid. “Do you understand me? Can you speak English?”

Rafe nodded and suddenly he rushed forward and threw both his arms around Alec’s neck. Surprised, Alec almost lost his footing, but he managed to stay upright as he wrapped his arms tightly around the boy. He stood up then, the boy still in his arms. He didn’t weigh more than Max did, although he had to be at least a year older, maybe even two.

“Do you live here?” he asked, not really sure what to do now. Where were the boy’s parents? Did he even had any? Because who would let their child wander around a garbage pile in the middle of the night? He was probably one of the many waifs, orphaned, living in the streets. But he was different than the others, because he had the Sight. Peered right through Alec’s glamour, which got Alec wondering what he was. A warlock maybe? Or a werewolf cub?

Rafe didn’t reply, but tightened his grip on Alec and buried his face in Alec’s neck.

“You know what? I’ll bring you with me to the Institute, okay? And we’ll figure out what to do. Is that okay, that I take you with me?”

He felt the boy nod against his neck. “Very well, off we go.”

He walked through the unknown city in the middle of the night, with a shaking child in his arms, and Alec wondered what strange lot it was that brought him here. With this child, thin to the bones, filthy and scared. Alec felt the strong urge to take care of him, to be there for him, whoever he was.

Rafe. He had the Sight. How that was possible, Alec didn’t know, but this turn of events was certainly interesting. More than interesting.


	92. The Orphan Shadowhunter Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has found a child on the streets of Buenos Aires. A child with the Sight. Who is this child and why does he have the Sight?

**_Alec_ **

Rafe had inexplicably fallen asleep in Alec’s arms. When he entered the Institute he brought him to the bedroom Lydia had given him. He laid the child carefully on the bed and covered him with a blanket. He took out his phone and texted Lydia, not wanting to leave him in case he woke up.

A minute later there was a knock on the door and Lydia stood in the doorway. “You brought a child here?” Her eyebrows arched up. “Why?”

“He was alone and scared. And he’s not just a child, he has the Sight,” Alec explained.

Lydia looked very worried. “I don’t know what to do with a child.”

“You don’t have to do anything. I will take care of him, okay? Can you call upon the Silent Brothers to examine him? Maybe a Silent Brother can find out why he has the Sight.”

“Okay,” Lydia nodded. “But what about the subjugates? You’re supposed to talk to them.”

“I will. Will you stay with him, though.” He waved an arm towards Rafe. “So he won’t be alone when he wakes up.”

“But… I don’t know what to do with him,” Lydia stammered. “You know what? I’ll ask Frieda, I think she’s better with children. Or Patrick.”

“As long as he’s not alone,” Alec said.

He went to the Sanctuary where the subjugates were held and interrogated them. It was a hard job, because subjugates were extremely loyal to their masters. When you used the right technique, which meant making sure they went without venom for quite some time, they’d eventually could slip and talk. But that wasn’t the most reliable way. A better way was interrogating them, letting them go and follow them.

Alec explained this to Patrick and Lydia and after letting the subjugates go, they followed them to their masters. It went perfectly, because they went straight to a mansion in the city, which seemed like the perfect vampire den.

Alec, Lydia and Patrick entered the old mansion. Alec recognized the telling smell of old blood and something else, that was so typical about vampires, a metallic scent. “We’re in the right place,” he whispered.

Now all they had to do was find Rodrigo. Or any of the other vampires, who could lead them to him. Lydia called for backup, but Alec thought it wasn’t a good idea to wait for that. “We’re here now. If they notice us and run, we will lose them again.”

The three of them walked through the wide hallway farther into the mansion. Alec pointed to the grand stairway, indicating the vampires would most probably be in the upper quarters of the house. Patrick stayed downstairs while Lydia and Alec ascended to the upper floors. Upstairs they searched through the rooms, each of them coming up empty.

There was one door left. Alec opened it carefully and peeked inside. There were three people sitting in chairs, idly chatting with one another. They were all vampires—Alec noticed their pale skin and uncanny beauty. He wondered where the subjugates went, since they weren’t in the room with them. He indicated to Lydia that she should call Patrick, but then one of the vampires looked up and saw them. “Shadowhunter!” he called out and sprang from the chair.

Alec surged inside, notching an arrow in his bow and aimed at the man. “Stay where you are and I won’t shoot.”

Lydia entered the room behind him, wielding a seraph blade. The vampire regarded them both and snorted. “As if you could take us on,” he said.

Alec let the arrow fly through the vampire’s hair and into the wall behind him. In a wink of an eye he took another arrow and notched it. “You were saying?”

The vampire froze and held his hands up in surrender. “That’s right,” Alec said. “If you value your life I suggest you keep standing like that.”

“For how long?” he asked, appalled.

“For as long as I say, which can be very long indeed.”

Behind Lydia Patrick appeared with two more Shadowhunters. Alec nodded to the three vampires. “Bind them and bring them to the Sanctuary.”

They all went back to the Institute, brought the vampires to the Sanctuary and agreed to start the interrogation in the morning.

Alec hurried to his room, wondering if Rafe was still asleep. He found Frieda there, reading a book, and the boy sound asleep in his bed.

“He hasn’t woken up,” Frieda said. She indicated a chair, on which a bundle of clothes lay. “I’ve searched for some clothes from the Gonzales children. I don’t know if they fit.”

“We’ll try when he wakes up,” Alec said.

Frieda nodded. “And a Silent Brother will be here tomorrow to examine him.”

“Thank you,” Alec smiled at her. “I’ll take it from here."

Frieda left the room and Alec checked his watch. It was two in the morning, which meant it was one in New York. A bit late, but Magnus might be still up. He sent him a text.

**_Are you awake? If so call me, have to talk to you._ **

His phone rang almost immediately.

“What’s up?” Magnus sounded sleepy.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I was sleeping,” Magnus replied.

Alec chuckled. “Then why are you calling me? I only asked you to call me if you were awake.”

“I know, but I had the phone next to the bed, and it gave a really loud ping at your message. So I decided to call. ‘Cause I miss you and I want to know what’s up. Have you caught those nasty vampires already? Does that mean you can come home?”

“Magnus, slow down, please,” Alec said, smirking. His boyfriend could be so fast sometimes, tripping over his own words. He launched into the story, telling him about the worship service and Maria who wanted to die. And about the child he found in the street. A child with the Sight. “He might be a warlock. I don’t know.”

“Or he might be a Shadowhunter,” Magnus said. “They have the Sight too, you know.”

A Shadowhunter. Alec hadn’t considered that option. “But how could he be a Shadowhunter?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he ran off. Maybe he was orphaned in the Dark War.”

Alec pulled his hand through his hair as he recalled the picture Lydia had shown him this afternoon. Matthias and Beatriz Gonzales with their three children. Samuel, Rosaly and Rafael. Rafael was a baby. It was taken five years ago, that picture.

“Alec?” Magnus’s voice sounded worried on the other end of the line. “Are you still there?”

“You might be onto something,” Alec said, and he told Magnus about the picture and the boy’s age. “If he’s orphaned… If he’s a Shadowhunter...”

His mind was racing. What would this mean? He knew Lydia wasn’t too keen on the child. He looked down on him sleeping so peacefully and remembered how he’d thrown his arms around Alec’s neck, holding on to him for dear life.

“What to do?” he whispered, more to himself than to Magnus. “He might be a Shadowhunter. What shall we do?”

“You know what? This sounds like something important. I’ll come tomorrow,” Magnus said. “So we can discuss this together, okay?”

Alec felt an intense relief at those words. The idea of Magnus being here and dealing with this together. “That would be great,” he said.

“I’ll leave Max at Maryse’s and come portalling, first thing in the morning,” Magnus said. “Also, because I can’t sleep without you and I miss you like crazy. Max misses you, too. We’re not used to being without you.”

“I miss you, too,” Alec replied. “A lot.”

“So, did you kick some vampire ass?” Magnus asked, a smile audible in his voice.

“I did,” Alec snickered, “Shot an arrow through the hair of one of them.”

“Ouch. That must’ve hurt,” Magnus laughed. “Now let’s go to sleep, the sooner we sleep, the sooner tomorrow comes.”

“Can’t wait,” Alec said softly, feeling alone suddenly, without Magnus at his side. “I love you.”

“Love you too, darling, sweet dreams.”

“Visit me in them?” Alec asked.

“Always,” Magnus replied and hung up the phone. Right after that he received a text from him.

**_I’ll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours. Love you lots <3  
_ **

Alec smiled at his boyfriend quoting Bob Dylan. He sent him a heart back, undressed himself and went to lay in the bed next to Rafe. Rafe – Rafael? Could he be a Shadowhunter?

He fell asleep and dreamt of Magnus and Max and Rafe. All of them running through Buenos Aires to catch vampires.

A nudge on his shoulder woke Alec up in the morning. Rafe was sitting on the bed, poking his arm. Alec sat up and smiled at him. “Hi?! Have you been up for a long time? How did you sleep?”

“Okay,” Rafe whispered.

“What do you think of a bath and some clean clothes?” Alec waved at the clothes on the chair. “We’ll get you good and clean before breakfast. And then you can tell me a little about where you live?”

Rafe nodded and flashed him an unexpected smile.

“Good, come on!” Alec took him to the bathroom and filled the bathtub. Rafe undressed himself and Alec placed him the tub. “I’m sorry. No toys and bubbles here. My son Max has lots of toys to play with in the tub. But he isn’t here, unfortunately.”

“¿Dónde está?" Rafe asked.

Alec didn't know much Spanish, but he understood the question. Where is he?

“He’s with my boyfriend, Magnus, in New York. I live there too. I’m only here for a visit.” Alec explained while he put some soap on a wash towel and rubbed Rafe’s little body clean. He was thin, his ribs standing out in his chest and his stomach hollow. But he seemed healthy otherwise. A few scars and scratches, but nothing big. And he didn’t seem to have any mark that would define him as a warlock.

 “¿Vives en New York?” Rafe asked.

“Yes. We live in New York. I’m a Shadowhunter, and Magnus and Max are warlocks. Do you know what that means?”

Rafe shook his head and stared at Alec, wide eyed. He started speaking in English now, with a heavy Spanish accent. “I see things, sometimes. Weird things.”

“What do you see?” Alec asked while turning on the hose to rinse him clean.

“I see a green man. And man with wings. And then I see man who have legs like a goat,” Rafe’s voice sounded agitated. As if he were scared that Alec would laugh at him or wouldn’t believe him.

“A man with legs like a goat is called a Faun,” Alec explained calmly. “And they are very rare. And a man who has wings is called a Peri. And the green man, well, he could be a warlock. Max is blue. Shall I show you a picture?”

Rafe nodded as he got out of the tub and Alec wrapped him in a big towel. He took his phone out of his pants pockets and showed Rafe a picture of Max on Magnus’s lap. “This is Max, and that is Magnus,” he said.

Rafe regarded the picture closely and then looked at Alec. “He looks nice. I wish I was blue.”

Alec chuckled. “You do?”

Rafe nodded in reply. “So, it isn’t weird I see them? None of the other boys see them. They tease me with it. They say I’m crazy.”

Suddenly his big brown eyes filled with tears. Alec wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. “You’re not crazy. You have the Sight. It makes you see things that are there, but invisible to most people. If you can see things, it means you’re special.”

He grabbed the clothes from the chair and started to dress him. The clothes were a little big, but it was doable. “We’ll get you some fitting clothes later,” Alec promised. “But first breakfast, and then someone is coming to look at you. I have to warn you, he will look very strange. But he won’t harm you, and I’ll stay with you all the time, okay?”

Rafe nodded again and grabbed Alec’s hand. Hand in hand they walked to the dining room where they found Lydia and Frieda. They greeted them and Frieda told Alec the Silent Brother was on his way.

Alec arranged for milk and cereal  and a glass of orange juice for Rafe. For himself he took some scrambled eggs from a tray. “You always have a breakfast buffet like this?” he asked Lydia.

“No. But we’re with extra guests now. You, and you,” she looked at Rafe, and smiled. “And Frieda and some others were staying tonight as well, because of the vampires.”

“Vampires?” Rafe looked up from his cereal and stared at Alec and Lydia in horror.

“It’s okay,” Alec said instantly. “They’re not here and they won’t do anything. You don’t have to be scared.”

“But they drink blood. Tomàs said so,” Rafe said.

“Is Tomàs one of the boys from the street?” Alec asked.

Rafe nodded while taking another spoonful of cereal.

“Well, they do drink blood, but you don’t have to worry about them. I’ll keep you safe.” Alec reached out a hand and ruffled Rafe’s hair. “Can you tell me a little bit about where you live?”

“We live in a building, an empty building,” Rafe replied.

“And who are ‘we.’ Do you have parents? Or brothers and sisters?”

Rafe shook his head, a sad look on his face. “I’m all alone.”

Alec put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not alone anymore, okay?”

After breakfast they went to the library where the Silent Brother was waiting. Rafe hid behind Alec’s legs, peering around him to look at the Brother.

 _My name is Brother Isaiah. I’ve heard there’s a boy you wanted to be examined?_ The brother spoke solemnly while bowing his head slightly toward Alec.

“Yes. I found him in the streets last night. He has the Sight, but he’s really scared,” Alec said. He squatted down and looked Rafe in the eyes. “Don’t be afraid. I will hold you and this man will place his hand on your head. But he won’t hurt you. You trust me?”

Rafe whispered a yes and Alec hauled him up in his arms. He wrapped one arm around Alec’s neck but turned his head toward the brother. “You’re being very brave,” Alec said.

Brother Isaiah moved forward and placed a hand on Rafe’s forehead. It was silent for a while. Alec could feel the boy tense in his arms, but he didn’t recoil. After a few minutes the brother stepped away.

 _What is your name?_ He asked gently.

“Rafe.”

_How old are you?_

“Five.”

The brother nodded and took a step back.

_This boy is a Shadowhunter. He had the Shadowhunter ceremony performed on him when he was a baby. My guess is that this is Rafael Gonzales, the youngest son of Matthias and Beatriz Gonzales._

Alec sucked in a breath. So Magnus had been right, he was a Shadowhunter. And an orphan.

 _You could send him to Idris, to the Shadowhunter Academy._ Brother Isaiah suggested.

“No,” Alec said instantly. “He’s too young for that dreary place. He needs a family, a safe place to grow up.”

_But where will that be? Will Lydia Branwell take him?_

Lydia, who hadn’t said anything up until now, grew pale, and almost involuntarily shook her head.

“I will take him,” Alec said. “I’ll take him with me to New York.”

Rafe, who was still in his arms, looked at him now, hope shining in his eyes. “Can I?”

Alec nodded, “You can.”

Lydia seemed relieved as she said, “Sounds like a great idea to me. You already have an adoptive son, right? You could have another.”

Brother Isaiah inclined his head. _If you think this is wise, it is your call, Alexander Lightwood._

“I will take him,” Alec said, knowing he meant it too.

It occurred to him that he hadn’t talked to Magnus about it, and he was utterly relieved that Magnus was on his way. He hoped he’d be okay with it. He had to be. They couldn’t abandon this child to the streets of Buenos Aires, or to the Shadowhunter Academy. Alec didn't know which one was worse.

They walked back to the dining room to have coffee. Brother Isaiah said goodbye and went back to the Silent City. In the dining room Alec pulled out his phone and texted Magnus.

**_When will you be here?_ **

Rafe was drinking lemonade and playing with a few toys from his older brother. Frieda had found them in some boxes in the storage room. Alec watched him play, emotions rushing through him. What had he done? Adopting a child without consulting Magnus, first. He was afraid the warlock was going to be mad about it. His phone buzzed.

**_Be there in a jiff. Small visit to Los Angeles first._ **

Alec typed back.

**_I really need you to come asap_ **

It took another fifteen minutes before the doorbell sounded and Magnus texted him back

**_I’m outside._ **

Alec stood up and rushed toward the entrance. Patrick, who was already there had opened the door, and when Alec arrived Magnus was busy shaking hands with Patrick.

“Magnus,” Alec said, placing a hand on his wrist.

“Darling! I missed you,” Magnus gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Now, where’s the child? Do you know what he is, yet?”

“He’s a Shadowhunter,” Alec said. “The youngest son of Matthias and Beatriz Gonzales.”

“And he’s standing right behind you,” Magnus smiled and squatted down. Alec turned around and saw Rafe standing there, staring at Magnus.

“Hi,” Magnus said, “My name is Magnus, who are you?”

“Rafe,” he whispered as he took a few steps towards them. Magnus extended his hand and Rafe placed his tiny hand in his. “Where’s Max?” he asked.

Magnus laughed. “Max is with his grandmother in New York. Has Alec told you about him?”

Rafe nodded. “Alec said he’s blue. He showed me a picture. I wish I was blue.”

“You do?” Magnus smiled widely and snapped his fingers. Rafe’s hand, still inside of Magnus’s turned blue. “There you go.”

Rafe stared at his hand and then he started to giggle.

“You like it?” Magnus said, his eyes were shining with mirth.

Alec regarded the two of them bonding so quickly and felt a peace came over him. If Magnus and Rafe would get along so easily, then all would turn out alright. Alec was sure of it. He still needed to talk to Magnus, though.

“Let’s go to the dining room,” Alec suggested. “And I need to speak with you, Magnus.”

“I’ll bring Rafe to the dining room,” Patrick said, “So you two can talk.”

Magnus stood up, and snapped his fingers again to return Rafe’s hand to his normal color. Rafe gave him a big smile. “You go along,” Magnus said, “And we’ll be there soon.”

After Rafe and Patrick disappeared Magnus pulled Alec in his arms and pressed his lips against him. “I missed you,” he whispered against his lips.

Alec returned the hug. “Missed you too.”

They stood like that for awhile, close together. “So,” Magnus said, as he reached out a hand and caressed Alec’s face. “What will happen with the kid? He’s an orphan, I assume?”

Alec nodded, feeling nervous. “What do you think about it? The Silent Brother suggested to send him to the Shadowhunter Academy.”

“No,” Magnus shook his head. “No. That’s not an option.”

He regarded Alec closely and started to smile. “You want to keep him.”

“I…” Alec stammered.

“You wonderful, amazing Shadowhunter. I love you so much,” Magnus said.

“What does that has to do with anything?” Alec asked.

In reply Magnus pressed his forehead against Alec’s. “It has to do with everything. You are amazing, with your big heart, you want to love everyone and save everyone. I love you for it. And yes, yes, Alexander, we can take him.”

“We can?” Alec asked, a bit uncertain. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. He’s adorable. And the way he asked about Max? He’s practically his big brother already,” Magnus sounded excited. “Max is going to love him!”

Alec smiled and felt as if a weight dropped off his shoulders. “I think so too.”

Magnus pulled him close into a tight hug, and Alec buried his head in Magnus’s neck. “It’s going to be great,” Magnus whispered against his hair. “We’ll love them both, so much.”

“We will,” Alec said, his voice muffled in Magnus’s neck. He pressed his lips against him and inhaled deeply. He felt incredibly relieved and happy.

They were going to bring Rafe with them to New York. And Max would have a big brother from now on.


	93. Rafael Santiago

_ **Magnus** _

Magnus felt a bit weak when he walked with Alec to the Institute’s living quarters. It was as if portalling to Los Angeles, and from there to Buenos Aires, had depleted his magic. And that was odd. Making portals was Magnus’s forte, and it usually didn’t take much of his energy.

If he had to be honest with himself, this feeling of weakness wasn’t entirely new. He’d noticed it more and more, in the past two months or so, that he felt tired after using magic, any magic. As if it sucked the life and the energy out of him, like one would feel after running for a long time.

He was worried about it. Warlocks didn’t get sick, warlocks only got weakened if they used too much magic, like that time he had to take the wards off Valentine’s wicked ship. Alec had come and given him strength, then. And that had cured him. The same thing had happened when he got wounded in the fight against Valentine’s evil son, Sebastian. He was losing blood, and Alec’s strength had cured him again. He was pretty sure Alec could heal him now too, but he didn’t want to say anything to him. He didn’t want to worry him.

They entered the living room where Magnus shook hands with Lydia Branwell, head of the Buenos Aires Institute. A pretty, blonde girl with a beautiful smile. Rafe was there too, and he came walking to Magnus and Alec as soon as he laid eyes on them.

“Rafael,” Magnus murmured. He thought back to the Raphael he once knew and loved. Even if the vampire had annoyed him tremendously, he had been a part of his life. A part that should have been there forever. It still ached, whenever Magnus thought about him, and how he died because he had refused to kill him.

Alec looked at him, a little confused at Magnus’s murmuring. Then understanding lit in his eyes. “Yes,” he said. “Rafael Gonzales is his name. But I’m thinking we should call him Rafael Lightwood-Bane, so he would have the same last name as Max and us.”

Magnus nodded. “And maybe a middle name too? Does he have one?”

“No,” Lydia shook her head, her blonde ponytail flicking back and forth. “Just Rafael. We have his official papers here. I will look them up, so you can bring them with you when you leave for New York.”

Rafe had watched the adults speak, but now he pulled on Magnus’s jeans. “Can I come to New York with you?” he asked in Spanish, shyly.

Magnus squatted down to be at eye level with the small boy, and replied in that same language. “Yes, you can. Alec and I talked about it, and we want to adopt you. So you can live with us and Max in New York. How would you like that?”

Rafe’s chocolate brown eyes started to shine with excitement, and he nodded vigorously. “I’d love it!” he said. His voice was soft, but there was excitement in it.

Magnus smiled widely at him. “Me too,” he said. He regarded the boy closely. He was five years old, but he looked younger, because he was so small. And so thin. The clothes he wore were too short, but at the same time too wide. His little legs were sticking out under the trousers, they looked like matches, so thin.

“You need new clothes,” Magnus observed. He snapped his fingers and a few items appeared on the floor next to Rafe. A sweater and a pair of jeans, together with a shirt, boys underwear and a pair of blue sneakers. Rafe jumped in excitement over the sudden appearance of the clothes. He drew his own shirt over his head and threw it on the floor, grabbed the new shirt and put it on. It was a perfect fit. Soon he was dressed in his brand new outfit and jumping around on his sneakers.

“He’s a true Shadowhunter, look at all that energy trapped in that little body.” Magnus smiled, as he watched the boy run through the room. He stood up and went to sit next to Alec on the couch. “Now what’s the plan?”

Alec took a sip of the coffee Lydia had offered them. “I still have to interrogate the vampires. But I don’t think that will take a lot of time. If you two can enjoy yourselves in here for a little while, I could join you both in a few hours to go back to New York.”

Good, Magnus thought, I could use a few hours to regain some energy. Rafe nodded at Alec’s words and came to Magnus. “Can you come play with me with the train?” he asked.

Magnus sat down on the ground and played with Rafe, while Alec and Lydia went to the Sanctuary to talk with the vampires.

They spoke together in Spanish. Magnus asked Rafe all kinds of questions and found out he’d been living on the streets of Buenos Aires for as long as he could remember. Sleeping in an abandoned building with other lost boys. None of them had the Sight, like he had, and it scared him. It scared him still, Magnus noticed, as his voice wavered while he spoke. He was a talkative little kid. Soon Magnus changed the subject to lighter things and Rafe’s eyes lit up as he talked about things he loved. Animals, he liked animals a lot. He loved the color blue and told Magnus he was a bit jealous at Max for having such a wonderful skin color.

They talked and played for an hour or two. At one point the door opened and Alec entered the room again, with Lydia and Patrick flanking him on both sides. Magnus looked up at his fiancé. “How did it go?”

“Good! They told us Rodrigo’s whereabouts, and Lydia has sent a team of Shadowhunters to catch him. Now, in broad daylight, he can’t run.”

“Alec was amazing,” Lydia said, smiling. “He knows his way with vampires.”

Magnus nodded. “I know!”

He scrambled up from the floor and put a hand on Alec’s wrist. Alec smiled a modest smile, the way he always did when people complimented him. “It’s nothing,” he said.

Lydia excused herself, saying she was going to retrieve the paperwork for Rafe. Alec, too, went away to pack his stuff. Magnus was happy to leave for home, but a little worried for Rafe. He explained to him how they were going to travel through a Portal to New York. He asked if Rafe was ready to go and leave all this behind. Rafe nodded, looking all serious.

“And once we’re in New York, you’ll meet Max,” Magnus said.

Alec entered the room, a duffel bag in hand. “All done,” he said. “Are you ready to make a Portal?”

“Sure am,” Magnus replied. The three of them went outside the Institute, where Magnus started working on the Portal Runes. He noticed he was still tired, and the magic that was required for the Portal, made him weary.

When he was done and turned around, Lydia was standing next to Alec, handing him an envelope. She was holding a heavy piece of paper in her other hand. “This is an official document for adoption,” she said. “I searched through the Shadowhunter database to look for precedent occurrences and found this form. If we sign it, me, as the head of this Institute, and the both of you as the parents, it will make it official.”

Magnus saw Alec’s eyes fixed on the manuscript. “Do you think it will offer us some protection?” he asked.

“What protection?” Magnus inquired, feeling a tinge of worry. “I didn’t know any of us were in need of it.”

“It’s just,” Alec sighed. “I’m worried the Clave will take him from us to send him to Idris.”

“Why?”

“You know about the Cohort? Their anti-Downworlder attitude. It’s getting worse,” Alec explained. “My father said they’re growing in numbers. If they really get a say in things, they might be against this. A Shadowhunter raised by a Downworlder.” He raked his hands through his hair, seemingly distressed, as he locked eyes with Magnus. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry,” Magnus replied, he shrugged, carelessly. “It’s not your fault. And I’m not surprised. Shadowhunters have behaved like this for centuries. There will always be those who hate what they don’t understand. Those who look down on others, thinking them inferior. It’s fear-based. Hate is always derived from fear. I’m not going to let that guide my actions, and neither should you.”

Lydia looked at him appreciatively. “Well spoken, Magnus. For what it’s worth, I will back you guys up. You’ve been such a great help. And I don’t share the Cohort’s view on Downworlders.”

She retrieved a stele from her pocket and added her signature under the document. “I do think this will offer protection, Alec. It’s an official Clave document, and I have the authority to sign it.”

She pointed with a finger to the place where Rafael’s name stood. Only his first name. “Now here we need to add his last name, but I haven’t done that yet, because I don’t know if you want to add a middle name?”

Magnus looked at Alec, who smiled at him. “Yeah, we want a middle name. And I know the perfect one: Santiago.”

Magnus was touched by Alec’s suggestion. “It’s a vampire’s name,” he said softly. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Alec said. “It’s fitting. Max has a Shadowhunter name, so Rafe should have a Downworlder name. This is our family.”

Rafe, who was squatted down in the grass, examining a grasshopper, looked up upon hearing his name. Magnus ruffled his hair. “Rafael Santiago,” he said, and Rafe smiled up at him and nodded.

“Very well.” Lydia wrote the letters carefully, and Magnus watched them unfold on the paper.

 

Lydia held out her stele to Alec. “If you would place your own signature here. And you too, Magnus.”

Alec added his signature and handed the document to Magnus. He lifted his finger to the paper, and with his blue magic he signed his name in swirling letters next to Alec’s.

“There, all done!” Lydia smiled and took the document. “I will see to it that you get copies. This will stay here in the Institute’s Library.”

“Okay, wonderful!” Magnus clapped his hands and turned to the Portal. “We’re ready to go.”

Alec shook hands with Lydia and Patrick and scooped Rafe up in his arm. The small boy wrapped both his arms tightly around Alec’s neck. Magnus took a hold of Alec’s free hand, waved his many ringed fingers at Lydia, and together they stepped through the Portal to arrive inside their loft in Brooklyn.

Alec put Rafe down and explained to him in simple words that this was their house in Brooklyn. Rafe carefully investigated the place, walking tentatively through the large living room. He lifted up a book from the coffee table, it was a children’s book Magnus read to Max.

“I love stories,” Rafe said.

Chairman Meow entered from the kitchen and let out a soft meow upon seeing Rafe. Rafe turned and smiled as his eyes fell on the cat. He squatted down and softly stroked the Chairman’s fur. “Gato,” he said. The cat purred in reply.

Magnus caught Alec’s eyes and lifted his eyebrows. He was jolted back in time to the day Alec had thanked him for healing him, the day Alec asked him out, the day they kissed for the first time.

_ I never date anyone my cat doesn’t like. _

It seemed the Chairman had no problems with any Shadowhunter Magnus brought home.

Alec took out his phone to text his mother about Max. “I think it’s best if Rafe stays here,” he said. “Shall I pick up Max? You look a bit tired.”

Magnus nodded, he felt tired, and of course Alec would notice. He’d have to talk to Alec about it soon, there was no way Alec was going to let it go. He could see the worry in his eyes as he spoke.

“You didn’t sleep well without me? Or is it something else?”

“I don’t know,” Magnus replied. “But you should go get Max. Rafe wants to meet him.”

Alec nodded, kissed him softly on the lips and walked out of the door.

Magnus turned to Rafe and took his hand. “Let’s go see the rest of the house. And your room!”

He showed him the kitchen, the bathroom, the master bedroom and Max’s room. Blue, with several sea animals painted on the walls. Rafe stared at them and named the animals in Spanish. 

“You like it?” Magnus asked.

He took him to the next room. There was a twin bed and a cabinet standing beside it, but otherwise it was empty of furniture. Magnus flicked his wrist, making the bed disappear. He flicked it again and the room filled with children’s toys and clothing. A new bed took the place of the old one, shaped like a dolphin, with blue covers on it. Rafe clapped his hands in delight.

“Now for the walls,” Magnus said. “What color do you want them?”

“Verde,” Rafe replied without hesitation. “Like the jungle. And a blue sky.”

Magnus did as Rafe requested, filling his walls with jungle leaves and adding several animals to it as well—monkeys, brightly colored birds. The upper half of the wall and the ceiling became a soft blue with a few white clouds weaving through it. He exchanged the chandelier for a lamp in the shape of a sun.

Rafe was delighted, and Magnus hoped Alec wouldn’t think he was spoiling him too much. As far as Magnus was concerned, this child couldn’t be spoiled enough after all he endured.

They played for a while in Rafe’s bedroom before going to the kitchen, where Magnus made him a few sandwiches. Just as Rafe was eating them, the door of the living room opened and Magnus heard the familiar giggle of his other son. He took Rafe by the hand and walked with him to the living room.

Alec was busy shrugging Max’s jacket off. Max was standing in front of his father and smiled when he saw Magnus. “Papa!” He took off running and Magnus caught him in his arms.

“Hi, my little blueberry,” he said, ruffling Max’s blue curls. “Did you have a good time with your grandmother?”

Max nodded, he’d just started to tell him how Maryse treated him with ice cream, when his eyes fell on Rafe, standing next to Magnus. He fell silent and stared. Rafe stared back.

Magnus squatted down, so Max and Rafe would be at eye level. “This is Max,” he said to Rafe. “And this is Rafe. Did daddy tell you about him?”

Max nodded and smiled a tentative smile at Rafe. “Daddy says yur Shadowhunter,” he said, his bright voice making it sound like a question.

Rafe said, “Si.”

“What is si?” Max asked.

“Si means yes in Spanish,” Magnus explained.

Rafe extended a hand toward Max, and Max grabbed it with both of his, squeezing a little. “You gonna live with me?” he asked.

“Can I?” Rafe replied, still unsure. It broke Magnus’s heart, to see how scared the little boy was.

“Yes,” Max nodded enthusiastically. “We gonna play. I and you. I’m Max!”

“I’m Rafe,” Rafe said, smiling now.

Max wriggled himself free from Magnus’s embrace and took Rafe’s arm, pulling him with him to the corner of the room where the large box with building blocks stood. “We make a big tower,” he babbled. “A really big tower. Like Grandma’s home.”

Rafe followed him obediently, and Magnus stood up, looking at the two of them as they made a mess, throwing the blocks out of the box and unto the floor. Alec moved over and wrapped an arm around Magnus’s shoulder. “Mom wanted to come with me to see him,” he said. “But I told her it would be better for him to get used to us first. She’ll be coming tomorrow, though. She’s very eager to see him. Jace, Clary and Izzy, too.”

“Izzy was there?” Magnus asked, while he placed his hand on Alec’s waist. “I thought she and Simon were on a trip together.”

“They were, they returned just this morning.” Alec smiled suddenly. “They got engaged and they plan to have a party in two weeks. They’re in dire need of your help.”

“Of course they are,” Magnus said, tilting his head a bit. “I’m the best party planner in the whole Tri-state area.”

“Maybe that should be your title, instead of High Warlock of Brooklyn,” Alec said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Magnus laughed. “It’s already my title. You know I have more than one. Another favorite of mine is ‘The Highly Desirable One.’”

Alec chuckled and pulled him close. “The Most Beautiful One,” he whispered in his ear.

“That too!” Magnus’s voice filled with mirth. He loved it when Alec said such things to him, he always did. Leave it to Alec to make him feel worthy and loved.

Alec nudged his head toward the kids. “Let’s play with them before dinner.”

“You go,” Magnus said. “I’m going to watch.”

He sank down on the couch and regarded his children. Max Michael and Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane. Was there anything more precious in the world? Alec got down on the floor to play with them, his dark head bent over the task of building them a house. He would always offer them a house, Magnus thought. A home. A place where they would be safe and loved. Wonderful, amazing Alexander Lightwood.


	94. To Be Loved By You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After watching this weeks episode of Shadowhunters, I really needed to write a chapter in which Magnus is taken care of by Alec. An Alec who sees his boyfriend's needs and who is just absolutely amazing and loving and giving. That is the Alec I know and love. So here is my next chapter, where Magnus is still tired, but Alec gives him the best treatment ever.   
> Trigger warning: this chapter is smuttier than smut. Like, the dirtiest thing I've ever written. Because, come on, our Malec deserves it!!!

_**Magnus** _

Magnus felt so tired. He sat on the couch looking at Alec play with the children, they were building castles out of brightly colored building blocks. It was a lovely sight, two dark heads and one blue bent over the task at hand. Magnus resented the fact that he didn’t have the energy to play along. At one point Alec looked up at him, his eyebrows arched.

“What’s wrong, honey?” he asked.

“I’m just really tired,” Magnus replied, truthfully.

Alec scrambled up from the floor and went to sit next to him on the couch, taking one of his hands in his. Magnus felt the calluses on Alec’s fingers as he softly brushed over the back of his hand. “Still? How come?” Alec asked, worry plain in his voice.

Magnus knew he had to open up to Alec. Alec wouldn’t let it pass. “I’m not sure. I think it’s due to overuse of magic. But normally I only get this tired after huge things like taking the wards off Valentine’s evil ship, remember?”

Alec nodded. “You needed my strength then. Do you want it now? You can always have it, Magnus.”

Magnus smiled a faint smile at his beloved. “I’m just going to lie down for a bit. Is that okay?”

Alec nodded, and softly brushed with a finger over Magnus’s cheek. “Of course that’s okay. I’ll take care of the kids, you go to sleep.”

Magnus got up and kissed both Max and Rafe on their foreheads before he retreated to the bedroom. He stripped off his clothes entirely and crawled under the covers. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was gone.

* * *

“Magnus?"

Magnus heard his name from a distance, and he felt a hand caress his bare shoulder.

“Magnus?”

It came again, a little louder now, or closer to his ear. Magnus woke from his slumber, and his eyes fluttered open. Inches away from his face was Alec, his blue eyes shining as he looked at him.

Magnus moved to sit up, “Alexander, what time is it?”

Alec was sitting next to him, half under the covers. His chest was bare, and he looked incredibly beautiful.

“It’s around eleven. The kids are sound asleep. I love what you did with Rafe’s room, it’s very nice.” Alec smiled at him, while gently pushing him back, making him lie down.

Magnus smiled back. “He seemed to like it. He’s a sweet boy.”

“Yeah. I’ll have to start learning Spanish though, it’s hard to communicate with him.” Alec continued to caress Magnus’s shoulder. “How are you feeling? Still tired?”

“I’m okay,” Magnus said.

“We’re going to have to find out what’s wrong with you,” Alec said. “But not now. Now, I’m going to take care of you.”

With unexpected speed Alec reached for Magnus and flipped him over in the bed, so he was lying on his stomach. The next thing Magnus knew was Alec straddling him. He could feel the Shadowhunter was naked, as his bare thighs pressed against Magnus’s hips, and he felt Alec’s dick against his butt. It made him shiver, and from deep within his belly a coiling started to tighten, and his stomach fluttered. Alec’s voice was in his ear. “You always give me massages, now it’s my turn.”

“Hmmm,” Magnus purred in reply. 

Alec’s hands were on his shoulders, slippery from the massage oil, and Magnus smelled the scent of bergamot. Alec was strong, and his hands kneaded Magnus’s back, shoulders and neck with a firmness that made his whole skin tingle.

“That feels good,” Magnus whispered.

Alec bent down again, and Magnus felt his lips on his neck. “That’s the idea,” he said softly.

After a good ten minutes of working the muscles in his back, Alec’s hands moved down over his spine and small waist, before landing on his butt. Magnus felt Alec’s slippery hands sliding over his butt and it aroused him. His stomach began to flutter more intensely now, and his erection began to grow. He moaned softly as Alec slid his hand between his butt cheeks and touched the sensitive skin around his anus.

“I love you,” Alec said, hoarsely. “I want to show you heaven.”

“Okay,” Magnus whispered, barely hearing his own voice. 

Alec’s one hand slid further down Magnus’s butt and he gently cupped his balls. Magnus moaned again. “Alexander…”

“Yes, my love?” Alec replied. His finger was still caressing Magnus’s anus, and it slid inside of him, making him gasp loudly. Alec moved inside of him, massaging him gently.

“Does it feel good?” He asked.

“Yes,” Magnus got out between breaths. His heart was slamming in his chest, he longed for more of Alec’s touch. Wanted to feel him enter and thrust inside of him.

“You want more?” 

“Yes.”

At that, Alec slid another finger inside of him, and Magnus bucked up his hips, meeting Alec’s touch. Alec’s other hand moved between his legs, over his balls to the base of his cock. He wrapped his fingers around Magnus’s erection and moved them, slowly but deliberately.

Magnus moaned loudly at Alec’s touch, in him and around him. “Alexander, damn.”

Alec kept up the movement, until Magnus felt he was exploding from want. Wanting Alec to enter him, he called his name again, all the while trying to breathe.

“What is it, honey? What do you want? I’ll do it. I want to love you and make you feel loved and blissful.” Alec’s voice sounded rough and low. “I want you to come so hard. So hard.”

“Alec, please,” Magnus moaned, feeling crazed with longing. “Please, fuck me.”

Alec let go of him then and the next moment his lips were on Magnus’s jaw. “You don’t have to ask me twice,” he whispered against Magnus’s skin.

He moved again, and spreaded Magnus’s legs a little. Both his hands were on Magnus’s hips. Magnus closed his eyes as he felt Alec’s hard cock press against his entrance. “Go, go,” he begged impatiently.

And Alec went.

With a sudden motion he pushed forward, making Magnus yelp. At first, the friction of Alec’s large cock inside of him hurt a little, but soon Magnus got used to the feeling of being filled. He moaned loudly as Alec started to move. 

“Alexander, that feels so good.”

“It does?” Alec’s breathing was uneven. His fingers were digging into Magnus’s hips as he thrust, moaning softly as he went.

“It does,” Magnus said. “I love you, I love you so much.”

Alec thrust again, a little harder now, a little farther. His cock touched something deep inside of Magnus, a bundle of nerves that made him explode a little with each thrust. “There,” Magnus whimpered. “There. Do it again. Harder, Alec, harder.”

And Alec didn’t hold back. He moved with more purpose now, thrusting and retreating, and with every thrust he hit that bundle. And every time the explosion got bigger. Magnus felt his heart beat hard in his chest. He was soaring with Alec on top of him. His eyes filled with sudden tears, because he loved him so. And Alec was so wonderful. Caring for him, loving him like he did. He’d go to the end of the earth for Magnus. He’d go to hell for Magnus. Do anything for him. That realization made Magnus more than happy.

He, with his inferior demon blood. He, who was called a Downworlder. He, whose mother killed herself once she found out who he was. Alec had chosen to love him. Of all the people in all the world, Alec loved him.

And he told him so with his touch. His fingers digging in harder, his thrusts becoming faster and he started moaning now. “Magnus, ah,” he groaned. “Magnus, I love you. I want to make you come.”

“Yeah,” Magnus replied, unable to say anything more intelligible. Alec thrust deep now, and Magnus almost cried out at the feelings Alec’s cock released inside of him. One of Alec’s hands slid down from his hip to his front and closed around his erection. 

The touch of his fingers around Magnus’s length was enough for Magnus to cry out again, and with the next thrust, deep inside of him, everything started to explode. It was like a flower suddenly opening and showing it’s colorful petals. It felt like the water of a waterfall, rushing down while the sun made the droplets shimmer like diamonds. It looked like fireworks exploding, a million bright colors filling the dark night’s air. 

Magnus squeezed his eyes shut as the feeling continued, on and on, as if there would be no end to the bliss. He felt his release wetting his stomach and the bed sheets beneath him. He couldn’t care less. He was soaring like an eagle through the sky. The clouds looking like puffy pink dots of cotton. It seemed to last and last, this intense orgasm Alec gave him. 

And Alec kept going. He’d let go of Magnus’s cock, his hands were on his hips again as he fucked him, hard. Magnus felt his whole body shudder at the impact. And Alec’s name kept coming from his lips, he was unable to stop it. “Alexander, Alexander, Alexander.” While Alec kept moving, thrusting hard.

Finally Alec replied with a loud moan, and Magnus felt the hotness of his release enter his body, as Alec thrust a few times more, emptying himself inside of Magnus. He groaned, and half collapsed on top of Magnus. He felt Alec’s lips press down between his shoulder blades. “Magnus,” he said softly.

He slid out of him then and rolled on his back, his hands pulled Magnus on top of him. Arms pulling him into a tight embrace. Magnus buried his head in the crook of Alec’s neck, enjoying the feel of the naked Shadowhunter under him. Alec was tracing patterns all over Magnus’s back. “That was more than amazing,” he said.

“Hmh,” Magnus hummed against his neck. “My God, Alexander.”

With some effort he lifted his head and looked into his boyfriend’s eyes. They were burning this intense blue as he looked back at him, smiling. “My God, Alexander,” he repeated. “What did you do?”

Alec grinned widely. “I love you, I just wanted to show you how much.”

“It must be very much,” Magnus said.

“It is,” Alec said. “You know, it’s my life purpose to love you. It’s my highest calling.”

“I thought slaying demons was your highest calling,” Magnus replied, still out of breath.

“You thought wrong,” Alec said. “It’s you. It will always be you.”

Magnus smiled widely at that and touched Alec’s cheek. “You are wonderful, Alexander. And I love you too, you know that, right?”

“I know,” Alec replied.

Magnus laid his head back on Alec’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He didn’t feel tired anymore, he felt loved instead. And safe in Alec’s arms. He was home.


	95. An Engagement Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I've got over a 1000 kudos. I'm totally speechless. Thank you all so much for your support!!!! <33333  
> To celebrate, here's a chapter about Simon and Isabelle's engagement party. This party is mentioned in 'Lady Midnight'. Those of you who read that book know that Magnus, Robert, Jace and Clary have to leave the party to check out what's going on in the L.A. Institute. That story is already written in 'Lady Midnight'. My chapter covers Alec's POV, in New York.

_**Alec** _

“Max, work with me,” Alec said. His son was squirming, trying to get away from him while Alec wanted to get him dressed.

“Not wanna,” Max exclaimed.

Alec drew an exasperated breath. When Max was in a mood like this, everything took so much more effort. Down to the simplest thing as getting him dressed.

“You want to go to Aunt Isabelle’s engagement party in your pajamas?” Alec asked, arching his eyebrows to Max. “Look,” he said, indicating his own dark blue suit. “Daddy’s wearing a suit. You have to wear a suit too.”

“Not wanna,” Max repeated stubbornly.

The door of his bedroom was slightly ajar, and Rafael was leaning against the doorframe. Alec turned to look at his eldest son. He was dressed neatly, in a cobalt blue suit with a white dress shirt under it. He looked good, he had gained a little weight in the two weeks he was living with them. He smiled as he entered the room. “Grandma’s not going to give you any cake if you’re dressed like that,” he pointed out to Max, with a deadly simplicity.

Max stared at his brother and from him to Alec. Alec shrugged. “He might very well be right, Max.”

Max’s blue eyes suddenly filled with tears, and fat drops slid down his chubby face. His bottom lip began to quiver. “No cake?” he said in a choked voice.

Alec immediately felt sorry for his son. “Of course you’ll get cake,” he hasted himself to say. “But really, Max. Everyone would like it so much better if you would wear these nice clothes Papa bought for you.”

There was no saying Magnus actually bought the clothes. Chances were he’d conjured them up without paying. Alec knew that, but he was done chiding Magnus about it. After all, Magnus was a four hundred year old warlock. He didn’t like to be told what to do. Especially not when it came to using magic for his convenience.

Thinking about Magnus and his magic, made Alec remember the day they came home with Rafe from Buenos Aires. How tired Magnus had been on that day. He suspected it had to do with the use of magic, but now, two weeks later, they still had no idea what actually caused it.

Magnus had contacted Catarina, Malcolm and Tessa, his fellow warlock friends. But they didn’t have a clue either. Tessa and Catarina had been experiencing the same fatigue, although Malcolm seemed to be doing just fine. Tessa was on her way to the Spiral Labyrinth with Jem, her husband, to search for clues. Alec hoped they would figure something out.

Since that day, two weeks ago, Magnus hadn’t been as tired anymore, but then again, he hadn’t been using magic all that much. Just for conjuring up clothes and toys, but that was it. There was no telling what would happen if he had to use it more frequently and for bigger things.

Today though, Magnus had been utterly chirpy. He was excited for the party, which Isabelle and Simon had asked him to plan. They’d given him free rein. They must be crazy, Alec thought, to trust Magnus with something like their engagement party. Yet Magnus had promised him it was going to be elegant and stylish.

“And Simon’s crazy band will be there, I assume?” Alec had asked.

“Of course!” Magnus’s eyes had sparkled with excitement, making him look very young. His behavior as a sixteen year old teenager only added to that.

Alec had shaken his head, feeling older than his boyfriend, which almost never happened. Magnus had kissed him and left, telling him he had to do some last minute arrangements. He left Alec alone with the kids, which usually wasn’t much of a problem, but Max had chosen today of all days to act out and practice his How To Be An Extremely Stubborn Warlock Child act.

Rafe had reached the dressing table now and put a hand on Max’s leg. Max was clad in a pair of blue pajamas covered with pink flamingos. He looked incredible cute in them, but would be so out of place at Alec’s sister’s extraordinarily elegant engagement party.

Rafe looked up at Max, who was still crying. “You can get my piece of cake too,” he said, sincerely. He smiled a sympathetic smile up at Max. Over the weeks Alec had already experienced how Rafe could get a lot of things done for him, if only he put up the right smile. It was a gift, really. It worked especially well on his grandparents, and Magnus seemed to be sensitive to it.

To Alec’s relief, it worked on Max today as well. He nodded, smiling back at Rafe, and dutifully he took off his pajamas. Alec helped him into the clothes, and finally they were ready to go. Downstairs the three of them filed into Magnus’s blue BMW. They didn’t use the car much, but it was convenient now, especially with the kids.

Alec strapped them both into the car seats and drove over the Brooklyn Bridge to Manhattan, to the large venue Magnus had chosen for the party.

When they entered the grand hall, both Rafe and Max craned their necks to gawk at the beautiful decorations. Huge chandeliers hung from the ceilings. The set tables had expensive looking tablecloths on them, crystal cut wine glasses sparkled, the cutlery were made of heavy silver. Every table contained a large vase with blood red roses in them. Very Isabelle, Alec thought.

“Alexander!” Magnus was standing at the other end of the hall, talking to a waitress when he spotted him. The warlock looked gorgeous today, wearing a brocade jacket and trousers, in a stylish dark red color. The rings on his fingers shone as he walked through the room, smiling widely at him.

“Papa,” Max yelled when Magnus arrived. He started pulling on his father’s pants. Magnus smiled down at his kid and bent forward to kiss Alec on the lips. “What do you think!?” His arms spread out, indicating the room.

Alec noticed a string quartet in one of the corners. “Very nice,” he said, nodding appreciatively. “Where’s Simon’s band, though?”

“They’ll come later,” Magnus said, dismissively. “First elegance and a fine dinner. Than the weird party with the weird band! We’re going to have a blast.”

Alec grinned at his fiancé. He loved it when Magnus was enthusiastic like this. Magnus bent down and lifted Max from the ground, swinging him around. “Max Michael, come on, we’re going to dance!”

Max giggled loudly, which grabbed the attention of both Alec’s parents, who’d just arrived in the hall. They descended on them instantly, and claimed their grandchildren. Max and Rafe seemed to be totally fine with it, their grandparents were good at spoiling them. Rafe was sitting on Maryse’s lap, while Max hung onto Robert's neck.

Alec stared down at his parents playing with his children, feeling intensely grateful. There was a time when his relationship with them was a struggle. A time when Robert asked him what it was that had turned him gay. Cringe worthy questions were asked. But now, ever since Max had arrived, Robert had softened toward him, and toward Magnus too. And their relationship had become much more relaxed.

Magnus bumped Alec’s elbow. “Do you want a drink? I expect the lovebirds to come any minute now, I have to make sure the champagne is ready.” He seemed a little flush.

“I can get my own drink,” Alec said calmly, trying to pass on his calmness to his hyper boyfriend. “You do what you have to do, no stress.”

“Of course not!” Magnus wriggled his hands and his eyebrows at Alec.  “No stress, only fun! God, I remember the time when I ran a speakeasy. Alcohol was forbidden, but in my bar everyone came to drink and play cards. Downworlders and mundanes alike. It was so much fun.”

“It was fun because it was forbidden?” Alec asked.

“Sure. All things forbidden are fun. You know I like nothing more than a little debauchery.” He laughed and stalked off to arrange for the champagne, after winking at Alec.

Alec shook his head and smiled wistfully. What a beautiful, shining person Magnus was, he thought. And he thanked the Angel again for having him in his life. For loving him and being loved by him. Loved in an extraordinary magical way.

In the meantime the hall filled up with people fast. Maia’s pack had arrived. Clary and Jace too. Someone nudged Alec’s shoulder. He turned to see Lily looking up at him. She wore a tight fitting red dress, high heels and red lipstick. She smiled a little sarcastically. “I heard you rolled up a vampire clan gone rough in Buenos Aires.”

“That’s true,” Alec said. He told her about Rodrigo and his worshipping cult.

She shook her head in dismay. “Some vampires ruin it for the rest of us, making us all look bad.”

“No one thinks you’re bad, Lily,” Alec said.

The music stopped and a large bell started tolling. Everyone looked up to see Isabelle and Simon entering the room. Alec’s sister was wearing a huge smile and a long silver dress. Her ruby pendant shone on her neck, matching her lipstick. Simon, beside her, wore a nice suit and looked as happy as ever.

Magnus welcomed them and led them to the middle of the room. He announced dinner and everyone took their seat. Alec searched for his children, only to find them in the corner of the room, where a large area was cleared for playing. There were several toys strewn around, and Maia’s baby crawled over the floor. Max was trying to get her attention by making several building blocks fly through the air.

“Come,” Alec said, taking his son by the arm. “We’re going to have dinner.”

But Max was still in a mood. He tried to tear his arm away from Alec’s grip. “No dinner,” he wailed.

“Let me, son,” Alec heard his father behind him. “I’ll take care of him.”

Alec let his father deal with Max, as he himself took care of Rafe. They sat down next to Magnus and the dinner began. A nice roast with perfect wine accompanying it. Magnus beamed, explaining to Alec how rare and expensive the wine was.

“I hope you paid for it,” Alec said.

“Surely not,” Magnus replied, grinning. “I made Simon pay.”

Robert and Maryse both gave speeches, and so did Simon’s sister. Alec remembered when they were in Edom, how Simon had told him about his sister. And now here she was, telling them crazy childhood stories about her little brother. She had the whole place crying tears of laughter when she told them how Simon had refused to sleep in his bed for days, after she convinced him the bed would transform into a monster at night. “To think that this boy, scared of monsters, would turn into a Shadowhunter one day,” she beamed and raised her glass. “I love you, little brother.”

After dinner Simon’s band finally showed up and started playing. Magnus pulled Alec to the dance floor and tried to get some moves out of him. With some effort Alec tried to please his boyfriend, although it wasn’t really his thing. When a slower song started to play, Magnus put his arms around Alec’s waist and pulled him close. In reply, Alec wrapped his hands around Magnus’s neck and smiled up at him. “This is a great party. Very Simon and Isabelle,” he said.

Magnus’s eyes were shining an intense green-gold as he looked back at him. “I know! Why are you surprised? This is my job, throwing excellent parties.”

“How is this your job?” Alec teased. “I thought your job was simply being magnificent.”

Magnus laughed, but then his phone started to blare. He hastily pulled it out of his pants pockets and regarded the screen. “Uh, oh,” he said.

“What is it? Someone you don’t like trying to call you?” Alec asked.

In reply Magnus turned his phone and showed Alec the screen. It read ‘Dark Magic Alert. Los Angeles. Lay Line Convergence.’

“What does that mean?” Alec asked.

“Remember how I went to LA before I met you in Buenos Aires two weeks ago?” Magnus asked, while he started to walk out of the throng of dancing people.

Alec followed him. “Yeah.”

“I was at Malcolm’s and Emma Carstairs and Julian Blackthorn were there. You know them, right?”

Alec nodded. Of course he knew them. Emma Carstairs was twelve when she climbed their window in Alicante and told them to go to Edom, where Magnus was held captive. Alec owed a great deal to her. And Julian, her parabatai, was the younger brother of Helen Blackthorn, Aline’s wife. Every time she came up in a conversation, Alec felt a pang of regret, because of her exile to Wrangel Island. An exile based on the fact that she was half faerie. For Alec it was the most stupid reason to ever exile someone. And then there was Mark, the other half faerie Blackthorn child. He was taken by the Wild Hunt, and what the Wild Hunt takes, they don’t give back. With both Helen and Mark gone, the Blackthorn children, living in the LA Institute, were left with only a nutty uncle as a guardian. Alec always felt bad for them, when he thought about it.

“What were they doing at Malcolm’s?” Alec asked.

Magnus shook his head. “They spoke about ley line convergences and dark magic happening on these lines. Ever since, I’ve been keeping track off disturbances in that area. According to Malcolm there’s nothing going on, and they’re just children seeking adventure. But I don’t buy that, honestly. Blackthorns and Carstairs aren’t the families for making up some kind of adventure. A Herondale would do that, sure, but not a Blackthorn. So I kept tap on a map which shows ley lines and dark magic. I’ve installed it on my phone, and now an alarm went off at the ley line convergence in Los Angeles.”

Magnus looked seriously concerned as he checked his phone. “A huge flare of Dark Magic. I’m going to cast a spell to see if I can find out what it is.”

They walked out of the hall into a corridor, where Magnus cast the spell. Just when he finished a door opened, and Clary and Jace walked out of it. Both of them not looking terribly happy. Alec knew Jace was planning to propose to Clary tonight. He wondered if Jace had already gone through with it, and if Clary had denied him. That couldn’t be true, could it? They both looked positively distraught, though.

Before he could ask them what was going on, Magnus snapped his fingers. “There’s nothing going on at the ley line,” he said. “But we should go to LA to check it out. At least to the Institute. Whatever it was, it was huge. We have to make sure they’re alright.”

“Who are alright, Magnus?” Clary asked.

Magnus explained to her and Jace about the dark magic in Los Angeles, when Robert entered the hall. “Why are you all standing here?” he asked, confused.

“We should go, now,” Jace said. “They might be in danger there.”

Once Robert found out what was going on, he insisted on coming. “I’m the Inquisitor, I should be there if something’s wrong,” he said.

Magnus turned to Alec. “Maybe you should stay here though, for the kids?”

Alec nodded. “Fine. But don’t take too long.”

“If it’s Shadowhunter business, we’ll have to investigate, no matter how long it takes, son,” Robert said. “Our duty precedes parties.”

His father’s comment was partly annoying, and partly great. Because Robert so automatically included Magnus in the investigation, without considering he wasn’t a Shadowhunter. It showed Alec that his father really included Magnus in their life. As one of them.

Magnus was already busy making a Portal. He gave Alec a quick peck on the lips, and then all four of them disappeared through the Portal to Los Angeles.

Alec turned back to the hall. He scanned the room for his children. Max was in Maryse’s lap, it seemed she was reading to him. Rafe was right next to them, playing with a train.

A tap on his shoulder made Alec turn, it was Isabelle. “Time for a dance with me, big brother?”

He smiled. “Of course.”

They went to the dance floor and twirled around on it. “Are you having a good time?” Alec asked his sister.

“Yeah, the best! Who could have thought that the gangly teenager Clary brought with her to the Institute would be my fiancé one day.”

“Not me,” Alec said, honestly. “Things change though, and people change too.”

“How about you and Magnus?” Izzy asked. “When are you going to get married?”

Alec sighed. He wanted to get married with his boyfriend. More than anything else he wanted that. Make their pledge official and eternal. But Magnus had been very clear about it. He only wanted to get married if they could get married in gold. He wanted nothing less for him, and Alec appreciated that, but he didn’t see the law change any time soon. He was afraid it would never happen for them, and that kind of sucked.

“Uh oh, did I say something wrong?” said Izzy.

“No, no. It’s just, Magnus wants the law to change, and I don’t see it happening,” Alec explained.

“Especially not with that awful Cohort,” Isabelle snorted. “Did you hear about them? They want to register every warlock. They want to diminish Downworlder power. It sounds awful.”

“I wonder what Magnus will do if they get their way,” Alec said. “He says we shouldn’t let ourselves get affected by them. But I believe they pose a serious threat.”

Izzy nodded while they swirled over the dance floor. She looked around. “Where is Magnus, I haven’t seen him in awhile.”

“He went to LA, with Dad, Jace and Clary. There’s been dark magic there and they wanted to check it out.”

“On my engagement party?” Izzy frowned. “Couldn’t Dad send someone else?”

“Apparently not,” Alec said. “It was Magnus who got the alert, so he wanted to go. Jace overheard and immediately claimed the mission. Dad and Clary were there too, so the four of them decided to go together.”

“And you?” Isabelle asked.

Alec shrugged. “I don’t want to leave the kids alone.”

“Aren’t you a wonderful father,” his sister smiled.

It took Magnus and the others a good two hours before they returned. That is, only Magnus, Clary and Jace returned. “Where’s Dad?” Alec asked when they entered the hall.

“He went to Idris, to lock away a vampire gone rough,” Jace said.

Alec arched up his eyebrows. “What’s up with vampires these days. They all seem to forget about the law and upholding it.” He looked from Jace to Magnus, who looked a bit weary.

“But the dark magic wasn’t caused by a vampire, was it?” Alec asked.

Magnus sat down in a chair and cupped his chin with his hand. “No. It was caused by Malcolm. Malcolm murdered innocent people for a necromancy ritual. He’s dead now, Emma Carstairs killed him.”

“What?” Alec sank down in the chair next to Magnus and placed a hand on his arm. “But Malcolm was your friend.”

“That’s what I thought,” Magnus murmured. He was clearly upset. “Apparently I was wrong.”

He explained to Alec how Malcolm had loved a Shadowhunter, Annabel Blackthorn, for over two hundred years. She died, killed by her own family for loving a warlock. When Malcolm found out he’d gone mad with grief. Swearing revenge on the Blackthorns, he started working on a spell to resurrect Annabel from the dead. For that spell he stole the Black Volume of the Dead from the Los Angeles Institute.

“It’s a very powerful book,” Magnus said. “With a lot of deadly spells in it. Very dangerous too. Now it’s gone. Malcolm had it on him when Emma killed him and he was swept away in the ocean.”

“And Annabel?” Alec asked, amazed by this incredible story.

“Malcolm needed Blackthorn blood to resurrect her. He almost killed the youngest child, Tavvy, but the others stopped him in time. So she’s still dead, I assume.”

“What a story,” Alec said. “How horrible. And what an ordeal for those kids. I’m sorry Magnus.”

“Yeah,” Magnus mumbled. “I just don’t understand how I never saw it. I knew he was grieved when he found out Annabel was gone, but I didn’t know how it tore at him. How it irrevocably changed him.”

Magnus shook his head, taking a sip of champagne from an abandoned glass standing on the table. He looked into Alec’s eyes. “I have to hope I won’t be like that if you die.”

Alec shook his head and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend. “Of course not. You are a good person, Magnus, you would never do something like that.”

“You don’t know what grief can do to a person,” Magnus replied softly.

“But I know you,” Alec said. He took Magnus’s hand and brushed with his thumb over it. “It’s just not possible.”

Magnus smiled a faint smile at him. “I hope you’re right. How was the rest of the party, though?”

“It was nice, I danced with my sister.”

“Very good.” Magnus stood up and grabbed Alec’s hand. “Now, let’s dance some more, you and me.”

“I have to ask Jace something first,” Alec said.

Jace was sitting next to them, his brow furrowed, seemingly lost in thought. Magnus nodded and walked away. Alec turned to his parabatai and placed a hand on his arm. “What’s wrong?”

“Why do you assume something’s wrong?” Jace asked.

“Because I can see it in your face,” Alec replied. “Now, spill it. I’m your parabatai, you have to tell me.”

“I don’t recall that being in the parabatai oath,” Jace commented. “It did say something about always sharing your fries. But nothing about me having to tell you what’s wrong.”

Alec didn’t laugh. He knew Jace was trying to joke his way out of it. “Jace,” he said once more.

“Very well,” Jace said, placing his arms on the table. “Clary said no.”

Alec looked at him, incredulous. “For real?”

“Yeah. She said she thought it was too soon, and how she was raised a mundane and in her world it would be totally ridiculous to get married at twenty-one.”

“Simon is doing it,” Alec pointed out. “And he was raised a mundane too.”

“I know, Alec, I know!” Jace said, looking at him. Alec saw the frustration in his face. “It’s an excuse. There’s another reason why she’s refusing me. But I don’t know what it is.”

“Maybe I can get Magnus to talk to her,” Alec suggested. “They have a good connection. He’s known her for ages. Or Simon, you could ask Simon.”

“No,” Jace shook his head. “She doesn’t want to talk about it. It wouldn’t be fair to send everyone on her to press her into saying what it is. She’d probably only repeat what she told me.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec said.

“Me, too.” Jace got up and stalked out of the room. Alec watched him go. He looked around for Clary, but he didn’t see her anywhere. He wondered what reason she had for refusing Jace. As far as Alec knew they loved each other deeply. They’d been together for as long as he was with Magnus.

Alec stood up and went to look for his boyfriend. He was dancing with his children and Simon and Isabelle, in the middle of the dance floor. Alec smiled, watching Magnus twirl around with Rafe, while Max was bouncing along in Izzy’s arms. He stepped into the circle and joined in. Despite everything, Malcolm’s betrayal and death, Clary’s refusal to Jace’s proposal, there was still enough to celebrate. Isabelle was gleaming with happiness. Simon had his arm around her and they swayed together, with Max, who was laughing. Rafe was yelling while Magnus swung him around.

And Alec moved with them. Sometimes dancing was the best medicine.

 


	96. A Family Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus go on a trip with Rafe and Max. Unfortunately the trip is cut short, because they get a distress call from the Blackthorns, who've moved to the London Institute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: this story is based on and directly in line with Cassandra Clare’s Lord of Shadows. Characters are drawn from that book. Dialogue directly copied from Lord of Shadows is in italics.  
> There are a lot of characters introduced in this and in the coming chapters. I thought it would be helpful for those who are unfamiliar with all the names, to give you a list of all the new characters, who all play a significant part in Lord of Shadows:  
> Emma Carstairs - Shadowhunter, 17. Julian's parabatai.  
> Julian Blackthorn - Shadowhunter, 17. Julian takes care of his younger siblings, they lost their father in the Dark War.  
> Mark Blackthorn - Shadowhunter/Faerie. Was taken when he was 16, and has been part of the Wild Hunt for years. 21.  
> Kieran Hunter - Faerie prince, son of the Unseelie King, part of the Wild Hunt. Mark's lover. 20 or so.  
> Cristina Rosales - Shadowhunter. 18. Comes from the Mexican Institute and is friends with Emma. She has feelings for Mark.  
> Tiberius Blackthorn - Shadowhunter. 15. Ty seems to have some form of autism.  
> Livia Blackthorn - Shadowhunter. 15. Livvy is Ty's twin and wants to become parabatai with him, but Ty doesn't want that.  
> Kit Herondale - Shadowhunter. 15. Related to Jace, but he was long lost.  
> Drusilla Blackthorn - Shadowhunter. 13. Dru.  
> Octavian Blackthorn - Shadowhunter. 8. Tavvy.  
> Malcolm Fade - Warlock. Was killed by Emma, but somehow he didn't die. He killed the Blackthorn's uncle Arthur to raise his long dead love from the dead.  
> Annabel Blackthorn - Shadowhunter. Was killed by her own family for loving a warlock in the 1800s. She's resurrected by Malcolm and killed him for it.

_**Magnus** _

Rafe’s cries woke Magnus up. He rubbed his eyes with his fists and crawled out of the bed. The alarm read 4am. Alec stirred beside him. “Go back to sleep,” Magnus said to him, stroking his hair gently. “I’ll go to him.”

Alec mumbled something incomprehensible and slept on. Magnus hurried through the hall to Rafe’s room. The little Shadowhunter boy was flailing around, his face tear streaked. Magnus went to sit on the edge of the bed and nudged his shoulder. “Rafael, wake up,” he said softly.

Rafe bolted upwards with a soft cry. Upon seeing Magnus he flung himself against him. Magnus scooped him up in his arms and rocked him tenderly. “Está bien, está bien,” he whispered, smoothing over Rafe’s disheveled hair. Rafe sobbed soundlessly against his shoulder, his little body trembling.

“Did you have another nightmare?” Magnus asked softly.

Rafe nodded and subsided against him. It wasn’t anything new, although the nightmares seemed to come less frequently. Magnus’s heart broke for the child. So tortured, having gone through so much in his short life span.

“You want to come sleep with me and daddy?” Magnus suggested.

In reply Rafe lifted his head and stared at him. “Si,” he whispered.

Magnus got up, carrying his son in his arms, and walked to the master bedroom. Inside he placed Rafe carefully next to Alec, and went to lie on his other side. Alec turned around, still half asleep, and wrapped an arm protectively around Rafe.

Magnus lied back down, looking at his fiancé with their son in his arms. He placed a hand on one of Rafe’s hands and softly stroked over the back of it. “Dormirse,” he said in a low voice.

Rafe closed his eyes and nuzzled back against Alec. Magnus scooped a little closer and wrapped his own arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder, encasing Rafe between them. The three of them fell asleep like that.

* * *

Max wasn’t too happy when he found out Rafe had slept with Magnus and Alec in their bed. “Me too sleep,” he told Magnus, his tone indignant. He’d woken up around seven in the morning, and Magnus, who hadn’t nearly slept enough, had taken him with him and put him in their bed, next to Rafe.

“Of course,” he said. “You can sleep here too.”

But that was out of the question now. Max was wide awake and in no mood for sleeping. Instead he woke Rafael up and encouraged him to join him in jumping on the bed, which in turn woke Alec.

“Great!” Magnus said, with a cheeriness he didn’t quite feel. “Now that we’re all up, we can go have breakfast.”

He left Alec in charge of dressing the kids and went to the kitchen to make pancakes. The four of them gathered around the breakfast table, where Max spilled maple syrup generously over his plate, the table cloth and Magnus’s brand new jacket.

Alec was busy cutting pieces of pancake for Rafe, who forked them and popped too many of them in his mouth. “Slow down,” Alec said gently. “There’s plenty of time to eat, no need to finish within the minute.”

Rafe had gained weight, but he still had the custom to wolf down his food. He was probably used to eating fast. It was eat or be eaten when you lived on the streets. Magnus could only imagine how hard a life it had been, especially for such a small child as Rafe. Yet, the boy had Shadowhunter blood running through his veins. He was strong for his age and had a way of getting what he wanted. It was what kept him alive all those years.

“Maybe we should take a trip,” Magnus said, contemplating. “Go to the beach for a few days. Feel the wind in our hair and the sand between our toes.”

Alec looked up from cutting up another pancake and locked eyes with him. “I like that idea. Do you want to go right away? Today?”

Upon Magnus’s nod he pulled out his phone. “I’ll call Jace and reschedule the Institute meeting we had planned for tomorrow.”

Magnus got up and cleared the table while Alec made the phone call. “Where shall we go?” he asked his children. “The Caribbean? The Maldives? The world is our oyster.”

Rafe and Max stared at him wide eyed, obviously neither of them had ever heard of those exotic places before.

“We could also go to Bali,” Magnus thought aloud.

Alec hung up the phone. “I’d like to see the Caribbean. Never been there.”

Magnus beamed at him. “The Caribbean it is!”

They went to pack a few items. Sunscreen, bathing suits, towels. When all was packed Magnus started working on a Portal. The four of them stepped through it and in front of them a white beach with palm trees loomed up. Magnus turned to see a large hotel with a swimming pool behind them.

“This place looks perfect.” He snapped his fingers to deglamour them all, so they were visible to the mundane world. Max’s blue skin was hidden beneath a glamour that made him look as pale as Alec, and his curls were very black. Only his eyes stayed the same navy blue, a few shades darker than Alec’s cobalt eyes. It made him look like he really was his father’s son.

Max never seemed to care about his appearance, but now he placed his arm next to Alec’s and smiled widely. “Same!”

Alec scooped him up in his arms and cuddled him. “You know I don’t mind whatever color your skin is. I’ll never love you any less for it.”

Rafe furrowed his brow. “I prefer the blue,” he stated, which made Magnus laugh.

They entered the hotel and booked two adjoining rooms where they placed their luggage and changed for the beach. Armed with parasols, buckets, spades, and sunscreen they claimed a spot on the seashore. Magnus wiggled with his toes in the white sand.

“It’s been too long,” he said, while grabbing the bottle of sunscreen. He went to sit behind his boyfriend and rubbed the lotion on his skin. “Don’t want you to get sunburned.”

“What about the kids?” Alec asked. Of course he’d always put his kids needs before his own.

Magnus smiled. “Max is immune as you well know. And Rafe has been exposed to sun so much in that hot country he’s from. He’s practically immune too. But don’t worry. Once I’m done with you he’s next. You have to know, though, that you’re my priority in this. You’re the palest one.”

“Hmm,” Alec mumbled. “Don’t know if that’s much of a compliment.”

“Of course it is,” Magnus replied. “You’re my priority and you’re beautiful. I wouldn’t want to have you any other way.”

“The kids should be your priority,” Alec argued. “I can fend for myself.”

“Don’t I know that,” Magnus whispered as he pulled his boyfriend against him and kissed his neck. “It doesn’t mean I don’t get to spoil you a little. Or a lot.”

Alec leaned back against him. “Very well,” he said, smiling.

They sat like that for a little while, before Magnus scrambled up and went to Rafe, to cover him in sunscreen as well.

The kids were busy digging a large hole. Max carried buckets of water from the ocean to the hole and was very disappointed to find out it wouldn’t fill. As soon as he emptied a bucket in it, the water disappeared. Rafe tried to help him, but there was no solution for it. Magnus was tempted to use his magic to make the water stay, but Alec held him back.

“Let them figure it out,” Alec said. “This is how the world works. They can’t always get what they want.”

“You are so wise,” Magnus replied. He went to sit behind Alec and pulled him close, once more.

“How’ve you been?” Alec asked.

Magnus knew what the question implied. The weariness of the past weeks was still there. Making a Portal to the Caribbean hadn’t helped much, he felt a tiredness setting in his bones. “The same, basically,” he said in reply.

“Have Tessa and Jem figured something out already?”

“Tessa’s sick too, even worse than I am, so it appears,” Magnus replied. “I got a message from her yesterday that she had to quit the search for a while to catch up on some rest.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alec didn’t sound offended, just curious.

“I didn’t want to alarm you.” Magnus leaned his cheek against Alec’s hair, inhaling his scent as he closed his eyes. It was no use to keep it to himself, he knew that. He owed Alec the truth, even if he didn’t want him to worry.

“We’ll figure it out,” Alec said. “We could go to the Spiral Labyrinth after this trip. See what they know?”

Before Magnus could reply, Alec scrambled up and hurried after Max, who went too far into the ocean. Magnus watched as Rafe joined them and the three of them started splashing around in the water. They were beautiful, Magnus thought, his family.

After hours of playing in the ocean and on the beach, they went to the hotel to eat burgers with fries and ice cream for dessert. Rafe and Max were exhausted from jumping around all afternoon. Max even fell asleep in his chair, his head lolling.

They put the kids to bed and went to the balcony, enjoying the soft breeze coming from the ocean as the temperature dropped down a bit. Magnus poured them both a glass of wine, before settling on the chaise longue next to Alec. Alec turned to him and cupped his chin, pulling him close. He closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of Alec’s lips on his. They kissed, a soft and lazy kiss, after a fun but tiring day.

Alec pulled away first. “This was a nice idea,” he said as he nuzzled his head against Magnus’s shoulder. “It feels good to be away for a while.”

Magnus’s phone buzzed and he took it from the side table, next to the couch. “What is it?” Alec said. “I hope it’s not an emergency.”

Magnus frowned as he read the message. “It’s from Diana Wrayburn. She asks us to help out with the Blackthorn kids.”

Alec sat up, sipping his wine. “By the Angel,” he sighed. “We can never get a break, can we?”

“We’ll check it out tomorrow,” Magnus said. He put the phone down and wrapped an arm around Alec. “It didn’t sound all that urgent. For now it’s you and me, Alexander.”

Alec smiled and subsided against him. “That sounds perfect.”

* * *

When Magnus woke in the morning, it wasn’t because one of his kids was screaming. It was his phone, blaring for his attention. He hastily took it from the nightstand and answered. “Who calls upon the High Warlock of Brooklyn,” he asked, exasperated.

“Magnus, it’s Diana.” Her voice sounded frantic. “I’m leaving for Idris. The Blackthorn kids are in the London Institute, and they need your help.”

“Why are they in the London Institute?” Magnus asked.

“They had to flee Los Angeles. As it turns out Malcolm was still alive. He ambushed the Institute in search for Blackthorn blood to complete Annabel’s resurrection. So I called Catarina and she portalled all of us to London. Now I have to go plead their case to the Consul. Can you and Alec go to them?”

“What case?” Magnus asked.

Alec beside him sat up in the bed, looking sleepy. “What’s going on?”

Magnus held the phone from his ear, covering the receiver with his hand. “It seems there’s an emergency now,” he whispered.

Diana was talking rapidly on the other end of the line. Telling him about the Cohort taking over the Los Angeles Institute. About Arthur Blackthorn, the nutty uncle, who had stayed behind in Los Angeles and offered himself up to Malcolm. How Annabel was resurrected with Arthur’s blood and had killed Malcolm in response. How Julian Blackthorn had found all of that out because he’d been to Faerie with Mark, Emma and a girl named Cristina to save a Faerie prince. How he’d seen Annabel kill Malcolm in the Seelie Queen’s looking glass. How the Queen had cut a deal with them, making the Faerie prince testify to the Council about the evil plans of the Unseelie King. How Cristina and Mark were somehow knit together by a binding spell that was cast on them in Faerie, and they needed a warlock to help them break it. It was an incredible story. 

Magnus put the phone on speaker so Alec could listen along. When Diana was done talking, Alec was the first to speak up.

“We should go at once. They’re just children, they need our help.” He was already out of the bed. “I’m sending a fire message to Jia Penhallow, the Consul.”

“Very well,” Magnus said, wiping his brow. “We’ll go. Diana, did you hear that?”

“Yes. Thank you,” she sounded more than relieved.

Magnus ended the call and went to rouse his children. “We’re going to London,” he announced brightly.

After dressing them both, he snapped his fingers to retrieve a bag of donuts for breakfast, and handed one to each child. They bit down in the food eagerly. “Alec, here’s one for you, too,” he called out to his boyfriend in the other room, and threw the donut through the air.

Alec deftly caught it with one hand, his stele in his other hand, adding the rune for fire under the message he wrote for Jia.

Magnus started working on a Portal. When he was done, he scooped Max up. Rafe was already in Alec’s arms. Together they stepped through and landed in the parlor of the London Institute, where they almost knocked over Mark Blackthorn.

Mark Blackthorn was half Faerie, just as his sister Helen. He’d been claimed by the Wild Hunt but brought back to his family a few weeks ago to help solve the murders Malcolm committed. Now he was allowed to stay, and he’d taken back his position as older brother and Shadowhunter. He yelped when they appeared, startled.

“What on earth?”

“Hi Mark,” Magnus said cheerily. “Here we are. Diana asked us to come.”

Mark stammered. “Hi, hi. I’ll get the others.”

Rafe started to cry, not used to Portal travelling, and he was taken out of his comfort zone too suddenly. Alec patted him on his back, trying to calm him down.

“Are Emma and Julian here?” Magnus asked Mark.

He shook his head. “They’re in search of Annabel. They’re trying to retrieve the Black Volume from her.”

“Phew, the Black Volume of the Dead. That’s not nothing,” Magnus commented. It was a powerful warlock spell book, and in the wrong hands it could create a world of pain. “Why do they want it? Why does Annabel have it in the first place?”

Mark sat down and raked a hand through his hair. “It’s the King of the Unseelie Court. He’s about to start a war. He wants to wipe all Shadowhunters from the earth, and he wants to take over the Seelie Court as well. The Queen has offered us our help, but in return she wants the Black Volume.”

Magnus stared down at the boy and noticed a fiery red circle around his right wrist. “Okay, this is quite a story. But first things first,” he pointed to Mark’s wrist. “Is that caused by the binding spell?”

“Yeah,” Mark replied. “Cristina has the same problem.”

Magnus put Max down and strode toward Mark, taking his wrist in his hand and examining the wound. He whistled between his teeth. “This is serious business. I’d need to find a spell book to find a way to break it.”

“You could go to the Shadow Market,” Mark said. “My twin brother and sister are there now, and I’m actually really worried about them. And Kit. You could maybe retrieve them if you go there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Magnus said. “Who’s Kit again?”

“Kit Herondale,” Mark said.

“Oh yes,” Magnus replied. “The long lost Herondale.”

He turned to Alec. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Sure,” Alec replied. “I’ll go in search for a room for these two.”

The door opened and an old woman entered. Evelyn Highsmith, the elderly head of the London Institute. After Sebastian Morgenstern’s attack on the Institute, it was left empty save for Evelyn. The Shadowhunters were in need of people to fill up the institutes after the Dark War.

Upon seeing them, Evelyn gave a yelp. “What in the Angel's name is going on here? Warlocks in the Institute?”

She frowned when she saw Max crawling on the ground in front of Alec. “That seems highly undesirable, to be blue.”

Magnus shook his head. “We’re very sorry to impose on you, Mrs. Highsmith. But we have some urgent business here in London. I hope you will grant us your hospitality.”

Evelyn looked from him to Alec and the children, and back to him. “Hmpf,” she said. “I suppose it must do. But I have to insist you leave this parlor. This is where I have my afternoon tea.”

Although it wasn’t afternoon by a long shot, Magnus bowed his head to her. “Of course,” he said. “We were just leaving. Or at least, I am.”

He kissed Alec quickly on the cheek and stepped through the still shimmering Portal to the Shadowhunter market in London.

And walked straight into a riot.

He noticed a blonde Shadowhunter, who looked remarkably similar to Jace, standing in front of the Blackthorn twins, holding a seraph blade stretched out before him. That must be Kit. Tiberius sat on the ground behind him with Livia lying unconscious in his lap. A werewolf jumped through the air, claws out, ready to take Kit down. Magnus hastily flicked his hand, making the wolf tumble to the ground.

“ _I see_ ,” he said, his voice like velvet. “ _That I seem to have arrived here just in time._ ”

A warlock came up, Magnus recognized him as Barnabas. He claimed the Shadowhunters were violating law by attacking the market. Kit replied that Barnabas was the one who had begun the fight. It made Magnus extremely angry.

Kit told him Livvy had lost a lot of blood. Magnus cast a glance on the girl, still unconscious in her brother’s arm, and he whirled on Barnabas. “ _She’s fifteen years old; she’s a child. How dare you all!_ ”

“ _Going to report us to the Council, Magnus?_ ” a woman’s voice sounded. It was Hypatia Vex.

“ _It seems to me we have two choices,_ ” said Magnus. “ _You fight me, and you will not win, believe me, because I am very angry and I am older than any of you. And then I tell the Council. Or you let me walk away with these Nephilim children, we don’t fight, and I don’t report you to the Council. Thoughts?_ ”

Of course everyone preferred option two. Magnus turned and kneeled down next to Tiberius, who seemed unaware of his presence, as he was totally focused on his sister. “ _Tiberius_ ,” Magnus said. Ty didn’t react. “ _Tiberius. I know you can hear me. You have to help me get Livvy to the Institute. I can take care of her there_.”

Tiberius finally looked up, his grey eyes meeting Magnus’s for a short moment, before they flit away and focused on a point past his head. “ _She’ll be all right?_ ”

“ _She’ll be fine,_ ” Magnus said, knowing Ty needed the assurance.

He stood up and started creating yet another Portal, making sure this one would land them in the library, and not the parlor. “ _Come on!_ ” he called to the children. Kit walked toward him, carrying Livvy. But Ty took off running to a stall at the other end of the market, where several Faeries were held in cages. He opened all the cages, setting the Faeries free, before he ran back and jumped after Kit through the Portal. Magnus shook his head smiling and followed them back to the Institute’s library.

 


	97. In the London Institute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains characters and dialogue from Lord of Shadows. Dialogue in italics is directly copied from LoS.  
> For an overview of characters, check chapter 96.

_**Alec** _

Once Magnus had left, Alec tried to carry both of his children to a room where they could sleep. Rafe was already crying, and with Magnus gone, Max followed his brother’s example. In the hall outside the parlor, Alec bumped into a Shadowhunter girl of about eighteen years of age. She had dark hair and chocolate brown eyes, very similar to Rafe’s.

“I’m Cristina,” she said, not extending a hand, since Alec had none to spare. “Looks like you could need help.”

Alec nodded grateful. “I really could,” he said. “I’m Alec. Alec Lightwood.”

She took Alec’s duffel bag from him, and the other bag as well, giving him space to carry both his children in his arms. “Of course,” she smiled. “Your Magnus’s boyfriend. The famous archer.”

“I guess so,” Alec said. “Right now I feel more like Alec Lightwood, The Disheveled Father who has no idea how to calm down his kids.” He sighed. “It’s not their fault. Yesterday we were at the beach, enjoying ourselves in the Caribbean sun. And now they’re torn from their safety and thrown into a strange house. With all the action going on, and Evelyn muttering over Max’s skin color, of course they’d be upset.”

Cristina nodded. “Follow me, we’ll find a place where they can sleep.”

Rafe’s tears had subsided, and he stared at her as she smiled at them. “Do you, by any chance, know Spanish?” Alec asked, hoping it didn’t come off as an overgeneralization. As if all people with black hair and brown eyes would know Spanish. He did hear something in her accent, though.

“I do,” she said. “It’s my mother tongue.”

“That’s a true blessing,” Alec said, pointing to Rafe. “This is Rafael. He’s from Argentina.”

Cristina murmured a Spanish greeting to Rafe, who kept staring at her, wide eyed. She started walking through the corridor, and Alec followed her, his sons in his arms.

In a spare room Alec put Max down in one bed and Rafe in the other. Max had quieted, and, still tired from yesterday and this morning’s sudden departure, he went to lie in the bed without complaining.

No such luck with Rafael. He kept crying. “ _Sleep_ ,” Alec murmured. “ _Adorno_.”

Cristina, who was standing in the doorway, sniggered. “ _That means ‘ornament,’ not sleep._ ”

Alec sighed. “ _I’m still learning Spanish. Magnus is the one who speaks it._ ”

Cristina walked over to the bed where Rafe was still sniffling, and sat down on the edge of it. She started talking to him, asking him something in Spanish. Alec guessed she asked him if he wanted her to sing for him.

Rafe nodded vigorously. “ _Si_.”

She started singing in a soft and lovely voice. Alec sat down on Max’s bed and stared at her. Max crawled into Alec’s lap, and to Alec’s surprise Rafe did the same with Cristina. She held him in her arms, and rocked him softly. He seemed totally captivated by her.

Cristina repeated a few lullabies, teaching Alec the words. He copied her, trying to memorize both the words and the melody.

_Arrorró mi niño,_

_Arrorró mi sol,_

_Arrorró pedazo,_

_De mi corazón_

Max had fallen asleep, and Alec laid him gently down, tucking him in. Rafe, too, had nodded off, though he still squirmed fitfully in Cristina’s arms.

“Thanks so much,” Alec whispered to her.

“He reminds me of my little cousins,” she smiled wistfully, and stroked Rafe’s hair. “I really like children,” she added, a little absentmindedly.

A crashing sound came from the library. Max startled and bolted up in the bed. Rafe started crying again.

Alec jumped. “By the Angel, Magnus!”

He bent over Max, and pushed him gently back in bed. “It’s okay, go back to sleep. It’s just Papa making a lot of noise as usual.”

Max closed his eyes again, and Alec turned toward Cristina. “I’d better check what’s going on. Can you stay here with them?”

“Of course.”

He hurried out of the room into the direction of the library. All Institutes were equipped pretty much the same, so he knew where to look.

Inside the library he found his boyfriend carrying an unconscious Livia Blackthorn to the long table. He glared at Magnus.  “ _You woke up the kids_.”

“ _Alec, we have kind of an emergency here_ ,” Magnus replied.

“ _Small children who are awake are also an emergency,_ ” Alec grumbled. “ _I’m just saying_.”

“ _All right, move the furniture back. I need some working space_ ,” Magnus said to the other two Shadowhunter children standing in the room. Alec stared at the blonde one, who looked so much like Jace, it was almost creepy.

Magnus glanced at him. “ _So where are the kids?”_

“ _I left them with a nice girl named Cristina_ ,” Alec said. “ _She said she likes children._ ”

“ _You just left our children with strangers?_ ” Magnus, who was bend over Livia, looked up at Alec accusingly.

“ _Everyone else is asleep_ ,” Alec replied. “ _Besides, she knows lullabies. In Spanish. Rafe is in love._ ”

Distracted by the blond boy, he stared at him again. " _B_ _y the Angel, it’s uncanny_ ,” he couldn’t help but say.

The boy looked back, unnerved. “ _What’s uncanny._ ”

“ _He means you look like Jace,_ ” said Magnus. “ _J_ _ace Herondale._ ”

“ _My_ _parabatai,_ ” Alec explained.

“ _I know Jace,_ ” the boy said. “ _He came out to the L.A. Institute after my-after they found out who I was._ ”

“ _The legendary Lost Herondale_ ,” said Magnus. “ _You know, I was starting to think that was a rumor Catarina made up, like the Loch Ness Monster or the Bermuda Triangle._ ”

Alec stared at Magnus, amazed. “ _Catarina made up the Bermuda Triangle?_ ”

“ _Don’t be ridiculous, Alexander. That was Ragnor,_ ” said Magnus.

He then turned his attention to healing Livia, and after fetching him the ingredients and bandages he needed, Alec returned to the room where he left his children with Cristina.

He went to sit on Max’s bed again, with his back against the wall, to listen to her singing softly. He sensed it when Magnus appeared and looked up at his boyfriend leaning against the door frame. He looked extremely worn out, and a pang of worry shot through Alec’s chest. Today had been a heavy day for Magnus. Creating multiple Portals and healing Livia on top of it, he looked positively beat.

“ _I_ _heard that song before,_ ” he said to Cristina. He closed his eyes. “ _I can’t remember who was singing it._ ”

Alec stared at him as he walked into the bedroom and took Rafe from Cristina’s lap, and cradled his son close to him. He started singing. Something he didn’t do often, which Alec regretted. Magnus had a lovely voice.

_Sol solecito, caliéntame un poquito,_

_por hoy, por mañana, por toda la semana._

He had his eyes closed, his head resting on Rafe’s, who seemed to be sound asleep.

“ _Are you alright, Magnus?_ ” Alec asked, still feeling profoundly worried.

“ _Fine, and Livvy’s fine. Healing. Should be back to normal tomorrow_.” Magnus spoke in an unusual clipped voice, as he flexed his muscles.

At his words, Cristina sat up, looking alarmed. “ _Livvy? What happened to Livvy?_ ”

Magnus stared at Alec. “ _You didn’t tell her?_ ”

“ _I didn’t want to upset the kids,_ ” Alec explained. “ _And I thought you could reassure her better._ ”

Cristina was on her feet now. “ _Is Livvy hurt? Does Mark know?_ ”

“Mark knows,” Alec and Magnus said at the same time.

“She’s going to be fine,” Magnus said. He’d shoved back on Rafe’s bed, his back against the wall, and closed his eyes. Cristina took off running.

Alec stood up and closed the door behind her. Next he moved to Magnus and gently picked Rafe from his lap to place him next to his brother on the other bed. “Lay down,” he said to Magnus.

The warlock barely responded, so Alec bent over him and made him lie down. He sat on the bedside and softly stroked Magnus’s hair. “You work too hard,” he murmured.

“What was I supposed to do?” Magnus said. “Let her die?”

“Of course not,” Alec said. “But take some rest now, okay? I’ll see what we can do for dinner.”

He moved to stand, but Magnus grabbed his arm. “Alec, maybe it’ll be a good idea to make Evelyn Highsmith go visit a relative or something. She upsets the kids. And with everything going on-”

“Let me take care of it,” Alec said, leaning down to place a kiss on Magnus’s forehead. “Sleep. I’ll talk to Evelyn. And to Jia.”

Magnus nodded and closed his eyes. Alec looked down on his boyfriend tenderly, before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

_Alec, it was good of you to mention to me the departure of Evelyn Highsmith. With her gone I appoint you as temporary Head of the Institute. I trust both the Institute and the Blackthorns are safe in your capable hands._

_The Consul, Jia Penhallow_

Alec folded up the message and put it in his pants pocket. It wasn’t difficult to ask Evelyn to leave, she was grumpy about all the fuss in her house, and when Alec proposed to her to visit a relative in the countryside she was only too happy to go.

Alec had made sure everyone had enough to eat and was ready for bed. He felt more like a parent than the Head of the Institute. Emma and Julian still weren’t back from their trip to Malcolm’s country house in Cornwall. Mark seemed preoccupied with the bounding spell and the complicated relation he seemed to have with the Faerie prince, Kieran. The burden of caring for the younger children fell on Alec. He didn’t mind it. He met Tavvy, the youngest Blackthorn. A happy seven year old kid. Tomorrow he’d introduce him to Rafe and Max, to play with.

Cristina helped him bring Tavvy to bed. Then he checked on Livvy, who was lying in the infirmary. She was awake and smiled up at him when he went to stand next to the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Okay,” she said. “I remember being in the Shadow market with Kit and Ty. But not much else.”

Patiently Alec explained to her what happened. How she was wounded in a fight, brought back here through a portal and healed by Magnus.

“Go to sleep,” he suggested. “Tomorrow you’ll be much better, I’m sure.”

He retreated to the bedroom where Magnus and his children were sleeping. All three of them were sound asleep. He touched Max’s and Rafe’s hair gently, and went to lie down next to Magnus on the other bed. It wasn’t a twin bed, which meant they barely fit, but he didn’t want to sleep without Magnus, and he didn’t want to wake him to search for another bed. This one would just have to do.

He slid under the covers, his body pressed against his boyfriend and fell asleep.

* * *

Alec felt something on his nose. He moved his hand over his nose to squat it away, but his hand hit nothing but thin air. He stirred in his sleep, when he felt it again. This time he registered what it was, a finger, bumping against his nose. He opened his eyes and looked straight into Max’s navy blue eyes. He smiled a wide gap-toothed grin at his father. “Hi!” he exclaimed.

“Hi,” Alec replied. “Did you get out of bed?”

“Yeah. Max wanna play,” Max said, deadly serious.

Alec sat up and looked behind him. Magnus was still sleeping, and Rafe, in the other bed, slept as well. “Okay,” he said, crawling out of the bed and taking his son with him. “Let’s go find some toys. Maybe Tavvy can help us.”

“Who Tavvy?” Max asked.

“It’s the boy who lives here with his family,” Alec explained. “Shall we see if he’s awake?”

Max nodded, enthusiastically. They walked through the hall to the bedrooms of the Blackthorns and heard laughter coming from Tavvy’s bedroom. Alec knocked on the door and entered the room. On the floor sat Tavvy, playing with Mark. They both looked up and stared at them. Tavvy jumped up from the floor and hurried toward them. “You must be Max!” he said, beaming. Max nodded and Tavvy took his hand. “Let’s play!”

After playing together for an hour or so, Alec took Max back to their bedroom to dress him and wake the others for breakfast.

The housemaid, Bridget, served tea and coffee and something gray that was probably supposed to be porridge. Alec noticed Magnus wrinkle his nose at the food. He bent toward him and whispered. “Brings back memories from the Shadowhunter Academy, does it not?”

Magnus nodded and laughed. “God, that food was awful.”

They both sat with a child in their lap, as the Blackthorns slowly filed in the room. Tavvy was already there, as was his thirteen year old sister, Drusilla. Mark, Cristina and the twins entered soon after. The Faerie prince didn’t show, and only after a first round of toast and tea did Kit finally appear.

Tiberius, or Ty, explained to them how they’d found an _aletheia_ crystal in Blackthorn Hall, a house that officially belonged to the Blackthorn family, situated somewhere in London, which they’d visited the day before. An _aletheia_ crystal was like a memory stick, only magic based. Ty explained that it contained evidence of memories.

“ _Memories of what?_ ” asked Cristina.

“ _A_ _sort of trial,_ ” said Livvy. “ _I_ _n Idris, with the Inquisitor there. Lots of familiar families-Herondales, Blackthorns, of course, Dearborns_.”

“ _Any Lightwoods?_ ” Alec asked, curious about his ancestors.

“ _One or two looked like they might be_ ,” said Livia.

Bridget scrunched up her nose as Alec took a sip of tea. “ _T_ _he Herondales have always been famous for their good looks. But if you ask me, the Lightwoods are the more sexually charismatic of the bunch_.”

Alec had to choose between choking on his tea or spitting it out. He chose the latter and clasped a hand for his mouth, trying not to laugh. He saw the corners of Magnus’s mouth twitch, although the warlock kept his act together slightly better than he had. He bent toward him and whispered, too low for the other’s to hear, “She certainly knows what she’s talking about. I couldn’t agree more.”

Alec smiled and shook his head.

Breakfast continued and at one point Magnus told the children that Evelyn had gone away and Alec was now temporarily in charge.

“ _Does that mean we don’t have to eat our porridge?_ ” asked Tavvy.

Rafe, on Alec’s lap, shot up his head and turned to look at his father. Hoping he’d say no, obviously.

Magnus grinned a wide grin. “ _In fact_ ,” he begun to say. He snapped his fingers and filled the breakfast table with muffins, croissants and cakes.

This brought everyone in a particularly good mood. Rafe, who’d already eaten two pieces of toast, grabbed for a blueberry muffin and dug his teeth in it. Max was crawling over the table, his eyes fixed on a chocolate chip muffin. Alec regarded his kids, smiling. Yesterday’s stress and panic was forgotten, he thought, relieved. They were back to their normal demeanor.

Magnus gave him a sideways glance before turning his attention back to Max, who was still on the table. “ _And after breakfast, maybe we can go into the library and discuss what we know about the current situation_.”

They all moved obediently to the library, where Alec settled down to play with the kids. Both Rafe and Max were impressed by Tavvy. Being a few years older than them, he seemed to them full of fun and incredible ideas. He showed them how to make houses and towers, whole towns and cities full of them, completely and solemnly made out of books.

Max started to empty some of the book shelves with vigorous determination. Rafe sorted them in neat piles and handed them over to Tavvy, who did most of the building.

In the meantime, Magnus, lying full length on one of the tables, checked out the _aletheia_ crystal Ty had talked about during breakfast.

Kieran, the tall and incredibly handsome Faerie knight, joined the group. His eyes fell on Max. He glanced at Alec, who nodded at him. Max was just done with throwing several books on the ground and turned to regard Kieran closely. The Faerie knight seemed delighted by him and picked him up, to hold him high in the air. Max giggled and pulled Kieran’s hair, which changed color from dark to bright blue, shades lighter than Max’s own skin.

Alec looked up in surprise, fascinated by the ability of the Faerie to change his own hair color.

“ _I didn’t know you could do that on purpose_ ,” commented Mark.

“ _You don’t know a lot of things about me, Mark Blackthorn,_ ” Kieran replied.

Alec exchanged a look with Magnus. Magnus raised his eyebrows slightly, telling him his own thoughts-‘this seems like a complicated relationship.’

Magnus asked Kieran why he was there, but it was Mark who explained to them that Kieran was the messenger of the Seelie Queen, and that he was supposed to testify before the Council about the plans of his father, the Unseelie King, who planned to make war on Alicante. Mark also told them that Malcolm had been in an alliance with the King, who had explained to him that he needed the Black Volume of the Dead to perform necromancy on Annabel.

With the Blackthorn children, they discussed the plans of the King, and from there the conversation moved to the plans of the Cohort, and finally their own plans to end the Cold Peace.

All this information was of no help for the binding spell between Mark and Cristina, so Magnus ended the conversation and sent the twins with Kit on their way to retrieve ingredients for the counterspell. Mark and Kieran were ordered to do research on the history of the Black Volume, and Alec decided to bring the younger kids to the parlor, where they could play with actual toys, instead of destroying library books.

The rest of the day Alec spent watching his kids and getting to know the old maid, Bridget, a little better. She seemed gruff and grumpy, but she actually was rather nice and good with the kids.

It was only after dinner, when the younger kids were in bed, and the older ones still in the library, that Alec finally had the chance to sit and talk with Magnus for a bit.

“What do you make from all of this?” he asked.

They sat in the parlor, near the fireplace. Magnus walked to the decanter of wine and poured them both a glass. “Those Blackthorns,” he said, shaking his head. “Who would’ve thought that others, besides your crazy parabatai and his even crazier girlfriend could create such a mess. Or maybe not create it, but be part of it.”

“It’s their connection to Faerie, combined with the Cold Peace,” Alec commented.

Magnus nodded. “That Faerie prince, Kieran, who is hot by the way.” He raised his eyebrows, which made Alec smile. “There’s this strange triangle going on between him, Mark and Cristina.”

“Is there?” Alec said. “Isn’t that caused by the binding spell?”

“No. One doesn’t become a victim of a binding spell if one’s not bound to the other person already.” Magnus took a sip of wine, looking pensive as he stared into the fire. “No. They are attracted to each other, all three of them. It’s a weird situation as ever I’ve seen one.”

They were quiet for a while. Alec reached a hand for his boyfriend and laced their fingers. “Are you worried?”

Magnus’s head shot up and they locked eyes. “I am, truthfully. Worried and tired. I had that dream again last night. The dream of the city full of blood, you remember? I wonder what it means. I thought it was because of the Dark War, but now I sense something else is coming. Something that might be even bigger and darker than Sebastian.”

“You mean the Unseelie King?”

“The Unseelie King on one side. The Cohort on the other, setting up Shadowhunters against Downworlders. And all the while Annabel Blackthorn is on the loose, carrying the Black Volume of the Dead. Neither of these things promises any good, Alexander.”

“But you,” Alec said, rubbing with his thumb over Magnus’s hand. “You are getting more and more tired. Can you do something for me? Take it easy tomorrow. Just focus on that spell to break the binding between Mark and Cristina, and for the rest of the day relax. Relax and hang back a bit.”

Magnus smiled faintly. “I’ll see what I can do by way of relaxing. For now, how about you and I look up a room with a king sized bed in it. Not that I didn’t like sleeping with you last night, pressed together like two sides of an oreo cookie.” His eyes twinkled as he got up from the chair and pulled Alec with him.

“An oreo cookie, really?” Alec arched up his eyebrows. “If we’re two sides of an oreo cookie, than what is the white stuff in the middle?”

“Alexander! I can’t believe that you still have to ask that!” Magnus laughed loudly. “You’re still so innocent, aren’t you?”

Alec shook his head, muttering, “You depraved warlock.”

“You know I take that as a compliment,” Magnus said, pulling Alec with him out of the parlor and into the corridor.

They discovered that the room next to Max and Rafe’s had a twin bed. “Of course it’s not king sized,” Magnus muttered. “No such luck in a Shadowhunter’s Institute. What’s wrong with a little luxury?”

Despite all that talk of oreo cookies and being depraved, Magnus fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Alec lay on his side, looking at him. He saw the spaces beneath Magnus’s eyes were dark, and his cheeks were hollow. Softly he brushed with a finger over the smooth skin, it felt warm under his touch, a little too warm.

“What’s wrong with him?” he whispered into the dark.

There was no answer.


	98. Annabel Blackthorn and the Riders of Mannan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters and dialogue from Lord of Shadow. Directly copied dialogue is in italics.

_**Magnus** _

Magnus was busy in the infirmary, putting all the ingredients together for the potion. He had to wait for the twins and Kit though, they had to go back to the shop where they put in the delivery for some of the ingredients he needed that weren’t in the Institute.

Waiting meant relaxing, like Alec asked him to do. He tried to, but it didn’t quite work. Maybe if they were home in Brooklyn, but here in London he felt restless. A nagging feeling that something was about to go very wrong crept upon him.

He received a message from Catarina, who told him her health was going down. She’d heard from other warlocks who were sick, and Tessa was doing worse as well. They all experienced the same symptoms. Tiredness, a feeling of heaviness settling in their bones, which got worse whenever they used magic. This was a warlock disease, which made Magnus suddenly worried for his son too. What if something happened to Max?

The banging of the Institute’s door downstairs woke him from his reverie, and Alec appeared in the doorway of the infirmary. “Something’s happened,” he said.

They both took off running to the entryway where they found Mark, Kieran and Cristina talking. Both Kieran and Cristina were covered in blood, and Cristina looked like she might collapse any second.

“ _What’s going on?_ ” Alec asked, sounding a little frantic.

“ _Where are the children?_ ” asked the Faerie prince. “ _The little ones, and the blue child with the small horns?_ ”

“ _Bridget is watching them_ ,” said Alec. “ _Why?_ ”

Kieran hurriedly explained that the Seven Riders of the Unseelie King had gone out to search for Blackthorns, to retrieve the Black Volume. They were excellent trackers and would instantly locate any member of the Blackthorn family and dispatch of them if they wouldn’t be of any help. “ _The danger is great. We are safe within these walls for now, but-_ ”

But the twins and Kit weren’t within the walls. Alec snapped out a question to Kieran while Magnus fixed his eyes on Cristina. She looked very pale. He reached out a hand to signal to Mark to hold her, and the next moment her legs slid from under her. Both Mark and Kieran moved to catch her when she fell.

“Let’s move this to the library,” Magnus said. “We’ll have to discuss what to do. Not only the twins are in danger, Emma and Julian aren’t safe either in Cornwall. The Seven Riders, the Riders of Mannan are extremely powerful, ancient and ruthless.”

In the library Magnus made the Shadowhunters try to track the twins, but since the Blackthorns had rushed out of L.A. without any belongings, tracking proved impossible. Mark, feeling responsible for his siblings, was close to desperation.

Without any warning Mark reached into his pocket and threw something through the air.

“ _Mark, what are you-?_ ” Cristina began to say when a scent filled the room. Magnus recognized it as the strangeness and the uncanniness of Faerie.

He moved, almost unconsciously, lifting an arm to protect his love. “ _Alec_.” His voice urgent. There was no telling what it would be, what Mark had invited into the Institute, but to Magnus Faerie was danger, and danger meant he needed to protect Alec.

Alec, however, didn’t move, but stared as a projection rose against the wall, and a large man appeared. It didn’t take Magnus long to recognize him-it was Gwyn ap Nudd, the leader of the Wild Hunt, to which Mark and Kieran once belonged. He was just a projection though, and not really there, which made Magnus relax a bit.

Mark pleaded with Gwyn to help him find his siblings, which Gwyn reluctantly agreed to. After Gwyn disappeared, Magnus assured a still desperate Mark. “ _He might sound reluctant, but if Gwyn says he will attempt something, he will leave no stone unturned_.”

Magnus raised a hand and wiped it over his face. He felt sweaty and so tired. Yet there was no time to relax today. Emma and Julian were still in danger, he needed to bring them from Cornwall. But he couldn’t do it alone, he didn’t have the strength for it. He turned to his boyfriend. “ _I’m going to need your help, Alec. It’s time for me to Portal to Cornwall. We need to find Emma and Julian before the Riders do_.”

Alec nodded, grabbed his arm and walked with him out of the library and to their bedroom. “Sit down,” he ordered, and Magnus sank down on the bed.

Alec knelt in front of him and placed his hands in his. “You have to take as much strength as you can from me. I’m afraid you won’t be able to make it there and back again. The last time I saw you so sick was in Edom.”

He froze and stared into Magnus’s eyes. “Is it your father? Is he doing this?”

Magnus shook his head. “I don’t think so. You know other warlocks have the same problems. Catarina too, I’ve heard from her today. You have to keep an eye on Max.”

Alec’s eyes grew wide. “You think it might affect Max too?”

“He’s a warlock,” Magnus replied. “We have to be prepared that it might.”

Alec shook his head as if to clear it. “Okay, we need to fix this mess first. Take my strength, get Emma and Julian, and then we have to find a way to get to Idris. For all our sakes, now that the Riders are on our tail.”

“Maybe you should already go there, with the children?” Magnus asked. Honestly, he wanted Alec out of there, out of danger. And Max and Rafe too. He only wished Alec would be willing to go. For the sake of the children, he might be. “You need to be there for the Clave meeting tomorrow anyway, as the head of the London Institute.”

“You need to be there too, as the warlock representative. We’ll discuss it further when you get back, okay?” Alec replied. “I’d rather we all go, Magnus.”

Magnus nodded, as Alec gripped his hands tightly. He whispered a spell and felt Alec’s strength through his hands enter him. It felt like frizzy adrenaline rushing through his body. He closed his eyes and let the feeling wash over him. It was a long time ago, he thought, that he felt this energetic.

When he opened his eyes again he saw Alec looking at him intently. His steady blue gaze comforted Magnus somehow. He knew, whatever would happen, that Alec would be there for him. Would love him. That alone was a strength he could draw on.

Together they went back to the library, where they caught the children annoying the house ghost, Jessamine. Magnus remembered Jessamine from when she was still alive, more than a hundred years ago. A naïve girl, with long blonde curls. She’d betrayed her fellow Shadowhunters and was therefore condemned to live in the Institute forever as a ghost. She protected it now, it was her way of righting her wrongs.

The kids were running around in circles, screaming her name. “Jessamine, Jessamine, catch us if you can!”

Of course she wasn’t able to, so instead she knocked things off shelves, creating a huge mess.

“DO NOT TEASE GHOSTS!” Magnus thundered.

The children froze and stared at him. Max’s bottom lip started to wobble, not used to seeing his father this angry.

Magnus frowned, but toned down his volume. “It’s not nice to tease,” he explained, as he picked Max from the floor. “My little blueberry,” he said affectionately and ruffled Max’s hair. “Now go play, all of you. Papa needs to work.”

He started making a Portal, while there was some disturbance on the roof. “Seems like Gwyn is back,” he said to Alec. “With the twins, I’m sure. You go to him, I’ll go to Cornwall. Let me know if they’re okay?”

Alec reached forward and kissed him. “Take care.”

“Always,” he flashed his boyfriend a smile and stepped through the Portal into Malcolm’s cottage, where he found Emma and Julian lying in bed.

“ _Why in the names of the nine princes of Hell are neither of you answering your phone?_ ” he asked.

They both gawked at him and he stared back. Why were they in bed? And even though both of them were sort of dressed, it didn’t take much to see what they had been doing in that bed. Normally it wouldn’t have fazed him, but Emma and Julian were parabatai. And a relationship between parabatai was not only illegal, but also extremely dangerous. “ _My God, are you…?_ ”

He didn’t finish the sentence, nor did he need to. They both hurriedly scrambled out of the bed, looking flushed.

“ _Magnus_ ,” Julian said. “ _What’s going on? Is something wrong at home?_ ”

Magnus was still stunned by what he’d seen. “ _Parabatai_ ,” he said, feeling an infinite sadness come over him for the two Shadowhunters in front of him. If parabatai fell in love, it was dangerous. Their bond, already so intimate, would magnify to a point where they’d get so powerful that they’d eventually lose their minds. It had happened before. He sighed. “ _Yes, something’s wrong. We need to get you back to the Institute. Grab your things and get ready to leave_.”

While Julian and Emma gathered their things and got dressed properly, a fire message appeared from Alec.

_Gwyn, together with Diana(!) has brought the twins and Kit back. Kit has a concussion, the twins are okay._

Magnus explained the situation with the Riders to Emma and Julian, who told him in their turn that they’d already had an encounter with them, and Emma actually managed to kill one of the Seven with her sword, Cortana. Upon hearing that, Magnus whistled. “ _No one’s killed one of the Mannan’s Riders in-well, in all the history I know._ ”

Emma shuddered. “ _It was horrible._ ”

“ _The rest of them are not gone forever,_ ” Magnus said. “ _They will come back_.”

They hurriedly packed their bags, and the three of them portalled back to the London Institute, where they were greeted enthusiastically by their family.

Magnus went over to Alec and asked him how things went with Gwyn. “Good,” Alec replied. “Although he refused to enter the Institute. Too much cold iron for a Faerie. We’ve brought Kit to the infirmary.”

“I’ll go check on him in a while.” Magnus raked with a hand through his hair and brought his voice down to a whisper. “I found Julian and Emma in bed together. Parabatai, Alec.”

Alec whistled. “That’s not good.”

“I know. What to do though?”

Alec gazed at him and from him to Julian, who was talking to Mark, and Emma, who was hugging Cristina. “Maybe,” he said slowly. “Maybe they should talk to my father about it. Ask for help.”

“Your father, the Inquisitor?” Magnus asked, utterly surprised by Alec’s proposition.

“Yeah,” Alec said. “There were parabatai who fell in love before. But none of them ever asked for help. Exile for instance, would help. It would create a distance between them that would weaken their bonds. And the exile ceremony itself will already weaken it.”

“Hmmm. You might be onto something,” Magnus said.

Alec shook his head. “This is awful though. It would be horrible to me, to be exiled and sent away from Jace.”

“Good thing he’s straight then,” Magnus couldn’t help but point out.

Alec rolled his eyes and bumped his fist against Magnus’s upper arm. “Shut up.”

Magnus grinned, but then grew serious again. “I’ve been thinking about Idris. I want the kids out of here as soon as possible. And I can’t come with you yet, because I have to finish the antidote for the binding spell. Did the twins bring the ingredients?”

“Yes, they had them on them when they got ambushed by the Riders. As I’ve understood it, Gwyn and Diana arrived just in time.”

“Okay,” Magnus said. “So after dinner, you go with the kids to Idris. I will end the binding spell, and tomorrow the rest of us will follow.”

“If it has to be like that,” Alec sighed.

“I know you don’t want to go, but it’s safest there, you know that,” Magnus pleaded.

Alec took his hand in his own. “I know. But I hate leaving you behind. Especially now.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow, in time for the Clave meeting,” Magnus said. “We’ll have to find a way to take out the Cohort.”

“Let’s just hope there will be enough people that are sensible and know the Cohort is up to no good.”

Magnus got up and ruffled Alec’s hair. “I’m going to double the wards around the Institute, to make sure those Riders stay out of it, and then I’ll check on Kit.”

Kit had a bad concussion. Magnus told the twins to make sure to wake him up every two hours. He had to heal the boy too, since he was cut by a sword from a Mannan Rider. Tiberius handed Magnus the ingredients they retrieved, which he brought to the infirmary. After dinner, after Alec and the children left he’d finish the potion for Mark and Cristina.

During dinner, which consisted of cold chicken, boiled vegetables without any taste, cheese, bread, and banoffee pie, the group discussed the Mannan Rider’s and the Volume of the Dead, which lead the conversation to Annabel Blackthorn. She was the one who had the book, she took it from Malcolm after she killed him.

The whole exchange unnerved the children. Max started crying, and Alec took him away. When the discussion went on about necromancy, Magnus thought it fit to let Rafe and Tavvy leave too. Some conversations weren’t meant for a child’s ear. He scooped Rafe up in his arms and turned to Tavvy. “ _Would you like to come with us? And play with Alexander and Max?_ ”

Tavvy nodded, and Magnus took the two children to the parlor, where Alec was sitting with Max on his lap, reading him a story. Upon entering the parlor, Alec looked up and smiled a weary smile at him.

“You okay?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. You on the other hand, look exhausted.”

“I’ll be alright. I’d better go back to the others.” Magnus closed his eyes for a while, thinking he’d rather stay here and play with the kids. But then again, the people in the dining room weren’t exactly adults either. “They’re a bunch of children, with no one there to guide them.”

Alec nodded. “That’s what we’re here for.”

Magnus returned to the others, who were speaking of the Cohort when he entered. They’d found out that one of the Cohort’s leaders, Zara Dearborn, had claimed she killed Malcolm. Everyone in Idris believed her, and it would be the perfect set up for her to grasp power. She was after the L.A. Institute, and with this lie, she would probably get a majority vote for it during the meeting.

With her as head of an Institute, the Cohort were close to putting their plans into action. All Downworlders would be tracked. Warlocks would have to hand over documents with their exact whereabouts. Werewolves would be placed in camps. The Cohort’s ideas were scarier than many a mundane’s in the last century, Magnus thought.

And at the other end, there was the Unseelie King. He used Death power to cancel out Shadowhunter magic. He was far more dangerous than the Cohort. Able to wipe out the entire race of Shadowhunters. Magnus was pretty sure he was capable of it, and the thought frightened him so much more than anything else. The end of the Shadowhunter race meant the end for Alec, for Rafe. For Magnus this was unendurable. But how to stop it, when he himself, was almost too weak to think?

After dinner they packed a bag with clothes for Rafe and Max to take with them to Idris. Alec explained to them where they were going and that Magnus would come tomorrow. They assembled in the library, where Tavvy would join them. It wasn’t to his liking, he wanted to stay with Julian, who only just got back. Seeing the child crying in Julian’s arms made Magnus cringe. Julian was his father, just as much as he was Max and Rafe’s. It was way too much responsibility on the shoulders of a seventeen-year-old.

While Julian was saying goodbye to Tavvy, Magnus kissed his boyfriend and ruffled his hair. “Take care in Idris. Say hi to your father for me.”

Alec nodded, and Magnus bend down to kiss his children goodbye. “Papa will come tomorrow, okay?” he told them.

He turned and started to make a Portal. It cost him more than he wanted to show. He really hoped Alec wouldn’t notice, or else he’d probably insist on staying. He already drew from his strength today. For it to work again, they’d have to wait for tomorrow. Alec would want to stay if he knew how weak Magnus was getting.

Julian placed Tavvy on the floor, and Rafe took Tavvy’s hand in his. “You can stay with me until Julian comes back,” he said.

“And with me,” Max yelled down at them, from Alec’s arms.

Tavvy gave them both a hint of a smile.

“Now go,” Magnus said. “Diana is waiting for you at the other end.”

Alec stepped into the Portal, holding Rafe’s hand, and Rafe holding Tavvy. Magnus saw the towers of Alicante through the shimmering, and Alec’s black hair was shining by its light, before he disappeared.

With a sigh he turned around and poured himself a glass of wine. “ _Do you want some?_ ” he asked Julian, who was standing beside him.

He shook his head. “ _I should probably stay sober_.”

Magnus regarded the boy closely. He looked miserable, although he tried to hide it. He spoke with him about the parabatai curse and the danger it entailed. Julian looked as if he was going to throw up his dinner. “ _But what can we do?_ ”

Magnus decided to share Alec’s idea with him. “ _There’s exile. You would still be a Shadowhunter, but you’d be stripped of some of your magic_.” He explained to Julian how it worked and advised him to speak to the Inquisitor about it, however awful that idea might seem.

“Now,” Magnus said, placing down his glass. “You have plenty to think about. I’m off to make the antidote. Still so many things to do.”

In the end, making the potion wasn’t all that difficult, now that he had access to the right ingredients. Once it was done, Magnus poured it into two flasks and brought them to Mark and Cristina. After checking in on Kit one more time, he retreated to his bedroom, hoping a good night of sleep would make things seem a little less bleak in the morning.

A loud crash woke Magnus up at early dawn. He hadn’t had enough sleep by a long shot. He didn’t feel any better than he felt yesterday, his energy level was dangerously low. But the crash meant what he’d feared-the Riders had come to the Institute, looking for revenge, and for the Black Volume.

He hurriedly dressed and raced through the hall, instructing everyone except Kit and Bridget to assemble in the library. He crossed to the window, placed his hand on it and whispered another spell to triple the ward. In the courtyard downstairs were five Riders, holding their swords outstretched in front of them.

Everyone stared out of the window, faces pale, worried looks in their eyes.

“ _They can’t get inside the Institute_ ,” said Tiberius.

“ _No_ ,” Magnus reassured him. “ _The wards keep them out_.”

“ _Nonetheless, we should get away as soon as we can,_ ” said Kieran. “ _I do not trust the Riders. They will think of some way in._ ”

Livvy suggested to Portal to Alicante, but Magnus had to tell them he didn’t have the energy to Portal them there yet. “ _We need to hold out a few hours. I’ve exhausted my energy-I wasn’t expecting to need to heal Kit, or to need to send Alec and the children away._ ”

They stared at him in horror. It occurred to him that these children thought him almost invincible. They didn’t expect him to have weakness.

He told them to wait, while he went to try to bring his energy up. He strode out of the room hastily, toward the infirmary, where he knew where some powerful herbs that could help him. He knew mundanes had energy drinks for this, with loads of sugar in them. If he wasn’t so worn out, he would’ve summoned some of that from the local supermarket, but he suspected it would only make things worse.

While he was putting together some herbs into a cocktail, there was a soft knock on the door. He turned to see Drusilla, the youngest Blackthorn still in the Institute, standing there, looking wide eyed. “They went down to fight the Riders,” she said.

“What? Why on earth…?” Magnus exclaimed.

“They were holding a child hostage, so Emma bolted and the rest followed.”

Magnus closed his eyes and shook his head. “Of course she did.”

He walked toward Drusilla and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Will you help me?”

Leaning heavily on the girl, who was, for her thirteen years, large and strong enough to hold him, Magnus scrambled his way to the entrance.

Outside in the courtyard it was mayhem. Cristina, Mark, Kieran, Julian, Emma, the twins. Even Kit was there. None of them were fighting though, instead all attention was fixed on a slight woman standing in the gate. She was a Shadowhunter, the voyance Rune visible on the back of her hand. Her hair was dark and her eyes were the green-blue Blackthorn eyes. Around her neck hung a cord, which held the Black Volume of the Dead.

Annabel Blackthorn had arrived at their doorstep.

The Riders tried to take the book from her, it was, after all, what they came for. But Annabel had power beyond compare, and with an outstretched, weaponless arm, she flung one of the Riders through the air.

The others raised their swords. Magnus wasn’t entirely sure what Annabel was capable of, but it seemed to him she could use some help. The energy potion helped him focus, and with a flick of his wrist he jerked the swords away from the Rider’s grasp, making them float above their heads.

The only female Rider spat at Annabel. “ _You fool!_ ”

“ _That wasn’t her_ ,” Magnus said. Every head turned in his direction. The six Riders were gaping, mouths half open. He waved his fingers, blue sparks flying off of them. “ _Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, at your service._ ”

The Riders exchanged glances, each of them looking positively furious. “ _This is not finished,_ ” said one of them, and just like that, they all vanished into thin air. Their swords crashed loudly on the ground.

“ _Hey_ ,” said Kit. “ _Free swords_.”

Magnus exhaled, feeling feeble. “ _Get inside, now. All of you_.”

They all went past him into the Institute, some of them clearly wounded. As they left the courtyard, Magnus, with Drusilla’s help, limped down the stairs. “ _Annabel_ ,” he said, his gaze fixed on the Shadowhunter woman. “ _Oh, Annabel. Why did you come here?_ ”

Annabel showed him a piece of folded paper. “ _I received a letter,_ ” she said in a soft voice. “ _From Tiberius Blackthorn. I’ve come to speak with Julian Blackthorn about the Black Volume of the Dead_.”

Magnus inclined his head at her. “Follow me,” he said. Together with Drusilla he walked to the library, Annabel following him, she looked wary.

He sat her down and tried to talk to her, but she refused to say anything. So finally he got up and went to get Julian. He was, after all, the one she asked for. While they were speaking, Magnus told everyone to pack their things and get ready for departure for Idris. It was high time.

Julian had convinced Annabel somehow to join them. She said she’d testify before the Council. Tell them that Zara Dearborn lied about killing Malcolm. It would have to help, Magnus thought, to deflect the Cohort. The Shadowhunters needed to form one mind, bundle all their powers, and the powers of Downworlders, such as the Seelie Court, to be able to stand against the King. Magnus could only hope it was possible.

With what seemed to be the last of his strength, Magnus managed to create a Portal. While working on it, his legs buckled, and he had to finish it on his knees. Julian and Mark helped him up when it was done. He had to lean on them for a while, panting for breath.

Then Annabel froze, staring terrified at the Portal. Julian calmed her down, but she was only willing to go after all the others had passed through it. Magnus put an arm around her shoulder and she hid her head against him as they stepped through and arrived in the Gard in Alicante, where they were greeted by Jia Penhallow and a crowd of Council members, all of them staring at her.

Jia brought them to a waiting room, together with Kieran, while the Blackthorn kids were sent to the Hall of Accords. Magnus wished Alec could be there, but Jia told him he was standing guard at the Hall’s east entrance.

Magnus poured himself a glass of wine, hoping it would help him through this day. Julian had promised Annabel that Magnus would stay at her side and help her through it all. She was terrified to be in Alicante, surrounded by Shadowhunters. It had been Shadowhunters who had tortured her. Shadowhunters who had forbidden her relationship with Malcolm. Shadowhunters who had killed her.

But her testimony was incredibly important. So Magnus intended to stay upright and help her, although sheer willpower and the wall behind him were the only things that kept him on his feet.

There were dark spots swimming before his eyes.

Have to stay on my feet, he told himself.

Have to.

Robert entered the room with Julian, and a discussion unfolded about whether Julian should stay with Annabel or not. Jia didn’t find it necessary, which made Kieran intervene. Magnus was glad he did, because he himself couldn’t muster up the words that needed to be said.

“ _We know Julian Blackthorn,_ ” Kieran said. “ _We don’t know you_.”

“ _By which you mean you and Annabel?_ ” asked Jia.

“ _I am here because I am a messenger of the Queen,_ ” Kieran said. He gestured toward Annabel and Magnus. “ _Annabel Blackthorn is here for her own reasons. And Magnus is here as he puts up with all of you because of Alec. But do not think that makes it a good idea for you to order us around._ ”

Well, Magnus thought slowly, with eyes closed, he has spoken truly. Because, boy, Shadowhunters, they truly sucked sometimes. It was only for Alec’s sake, that he tolerated them.

“ _Annabel is a Shadowhunter_ ,” said Robert.

“ _And I am a prince of Faerie,_ ” Kieran retorted. “ _Son of the King, Prince of the Frost Court, Keeper of the Cold Way, Wild Hunter and Sword of the Host. Do not annoy me_.”

Magnus opened his eyes and coughed. “ _He has a point_.”

“ _About Alec?_ ” Robert asked.

“ _More generally,_ ” Magnus spoke, albeit with difficulty. He felt it was important to say. “ _Kieran is a Downworlder. Annabel suffered a fate worse than death at the Clave’s hands because she cared for Downworlders. Out there in the Council Hall is the Cohort._ ”

The black spots in his vision grew larger. He heaved a breath and continued. “ _Today is their grab for power. Preventing them from taking it is more important than rules about where Julian should or shouldn’t be standing._ ”

“ _And you?_ ” Jia asked, looking at him. “ _You’re a Downworlder, Bane._ ”

Have to stay upright…

The dark spots were closing in on him.

“ _Oh,_ ” he managed to get out. “ _Me, I’m-_ ”

The glass of wine fell from his grip as the light receded and all strength went out of him.

He fell.

Like Lucifer fell from heaven.

 

And then there was nothing.

 


	99. My Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters and dialogue from Lord of Shadow. Directly copied dialogue is in italics. This chapter covers the last chapter of Lord of Shadows, Ultima Thule.  
> Trigger warning: minor character death.

_**Alec** _

Alec stepped through the Portal to Idris with a heavy heart and three children. He really didn’t care for leaving Magnus behind, he seemed to be doing so much worse. Exhausting himself with healing injured children and making Portals. But what was there to do? They couldn’t very well leave those children to their fate.

Diana Wrayburn greeted him on the other end of the Portal, in the Gard. She hugged Tavvy and took his hand. Rafe and Max were staring around in this strange new place they were brought to. They didn’t cry though, for which Alec thanked the Angel.

“Come with me,” Diana said. “Better to stay at my place, stay under the radar of the Cohort.”

“They’re already here?” Alec asked, while they walked down the path toward the city.

“Yeah, they’re busy recruiting. They actually think they can seize power tomorrow at the Council meeting.” Diana sighed as she turned into a street, taking them further into the city.

“Do you think they have a chance?” Alec wondered.

“Yes, I do. But once everyone finds out Zara’s lying about killing Malcolm, that might change things,” Diana said.

“It shouldn’t have to make any difference,” Alec said, feeling anxious about the whole matter. “Everyone should know that their plans are dangerous. Not just for Downworlders, but for Shadowhunters too. They’re creating enemies.”

Diana stopped in front of a weapons shop, called Diana’s Arrow, and opened the door. The five of them stepped inside, and the children’s eyes went wide when they noticed all the weapons. “Is this store named after you?” Alec asked.

“It was my father’s,” Diana replied, which didn’t technically answer the question.

Max was squirming in Alec’s arms so he put him down. He went over to a large glass cabinet, where Rafe and Tavvy stood, admiring an array of daggers and swords.

“Once we’re old enough, we can use these,” Tavvy told Rafe. “They’re Shadowhunter weapons.”

“Me too,” Max said.

Tavvy regarded him and nodded. “Sure, you too. But I doubt you’ll need it. You’ll be as powerful as your father is now.”

Max turned around and looked at Alec. Alec shook his head. “He doesn’t mean me, he means Papa.”

“You not powerful?” Max asked, all serious.

Alec couldn’t help but laugh as he strode forward and wrapped his son in a hug. “Of course I am. You remember when I took you with me to Uncle Jace in the Institute, and we shot arrows?”

Max nodded vigorously.

Diana reached a hand out and ruffled his hair. “Your father is one of the best. Both of them are. You and Rafe, you’re lucky kids.”

Max beamed at her in delight. She turned to Rafe and Tavvy and gestured them to come over. “Here,” she said, pointing to a display case which showed several beautifully crafted steles. “You can choose one. Each of you.”

The boys gawked at the steles, discussing with each other which would be the best one, the most powerful one.

“But for you, little warlock, I have something else,” Diana said. She went behind a desk and retrieved a small box. She handed it to Max, who opened it carefully. Inside lay a exquisite sapphire gemstone. “It’s not a toy,” Diana said, as Max stared at the blue stone. “It’s been blessed by a Faerie, and it will protect you. The sapphire is a divine and sacred stone. It resists black magic, it’s a symbol of power and strength, but most of all it signifies wisdom.”

Alec stared at her, wondering what brought her to give such a precious gift to Max. Of course his three-year-old son didn’t understand fully what she was saying. “Pretty stone,” he said and giggled.

“But ‘do you have toys?’ is what he actually wants to know,” Alec said, smiling.

“Let me see if I can find any upstairs.”

Rafe and Tavvy both chose a stele. Rafe’s stele was as blue as Max’s skin, a choice that didn’t surprise Alec.

After letting the kids play for an hour or so, Alec put all three of them to bed. It was already quite late, and with the intense day they were having, the children were bushed. Rafe didn’t even cry. He rolled in bed, and after Alec kissed him and sang him the song Cristina taught him, he slept like a rock.

Tavvy was having a more difficult time, saying he wanted Julian, which was naturally impossible. “Let me try,” Diana said from the doorway. “I’ve known him way longer than you have.”

Alec retreated to her small living room. He looked around, wishing for Magnus and for his red coffee machine, he could use some caffeine now. Instead he sent a fire message to his father, telling him he was coming over tomorrow morning with the children.

Diana returned from putting Tavvy to sleep and offered Alec a glass of wine. “Thank you for giving that stone to Max,” Alec said. “It resists black magic, you said?”

“That’s how the story goes,” Diana replied.

“All the stories are true,” Alec said. It was a Shadowhunters motto. “And I’m thinking he’s going to need it. That power.”

“What for?” Diana asked.

Alec told her about Magnus being sick, and other warlocks too. And how Magnus had said it might affect Max as well.

“That doesn’t sound too good,” Diana said, when he was done speaking.

He bit his lip, feeling worried about Magnus, wishing he was with him. “At that,” was all he said in reply.

* * *

The next morning after breakfast Alec took all three children with him through Alicante to the house of the Inquisitor. Robert was delighted to see his grandchildren again, and engulfed them both in a big hug. “And who’s this? Octavian Blackthorn?”

“No,” said Max. “He’s Tavvy.”

Robert looked momentarily confused. “It’s Octavian,” Alec clarified. “Max only knows him as Tavvy.”

They went to the living room where Robert fed his grandchildren milk with cookies. He pulled a big box out of a large cabinet. Inside were dozens of figurines to play with-all kinds of animals, tiny puppets, small houses and fences, fake trees and flowers. All the ingredients for creating the perfect farm.

He emptied the box on the floor and the children squeaked in delight. Alec didn’t remember his father having these toys before. Robert looked up at him and shrugged, almost apologetically. “I bought them when I was in New York for Isabelle’s engagement party. I thought it would be nice if they had something to play with if they came here.”

“Such a nice thing to do, Dad,” Alec said genuinely.  

The children played, and Alec and Robert sat down for coffee. Robert shared his son’s concern about the Cohort. “They’re not  many. Not a majority by far,” he said. “But you know how people work. You only need a few with a big mouth, and the rest follows like meek sheep.”

“I like to believe people are wiser than that,” Alec said.

Robert shook his head. “Alexander, my son, they are not. That’s why people need leaders, it’s always been that way.”

He stood up to refill their cups. “Your mother is on her way here,” he commented while handing Alec a piece of cake.

“For the meeting?” Alec asked.

“No,” Robert chuckled. “I told her you were coming with the kids, so she said she’d come to babysit them so _you_ could go to the meeting.”

“How self-sacrificing of her,” Alec smiled. Trust his mother to find a way to spend time with her grandchildren. Any excuse she’d grab with both hands.

“Yes,” Robert said, taking a large gulp of coffee. “Unfortunately, _I_ have to go to that meeting whether I want to or not. But if you could join me, that would be great. We could use you to stand guard.”

“Why would you need anyone to stand guard?” Alec asked, surprised.

“It’s a precaution. I worry about the Cohort, they might cause a riot,” Robert explained.

The door opened and Maryse stood in the doorway. “Max! Rafe!” she called to her grandchildren, sinking down to her knees to catch them. They both got up from their game and rushed toward her. Octavian hung back, watching the others hug their grandmother. “Grandma!” they yelled.

Only after a dozen hugs and kisses did Maryse get up to greet her son. “Where’s Magnus?” she asked him.

“In London with the other Blackthorn kids. They’re coming today,” Alec explained. He checked the time, it was almost noon. “I expect them soon, they need to be here in time for the meeting.”

He explained to his parents what the Blackthorn family had to say, and how that would help preventing the Cohort from taking power. He also explained the danger of the Unseelie Court, and how a Faerie prince was coming with the Blackthorns to testify.

“We’ll see what we can do,” Robert said. “It would be difficult to let a Faerie testify. But we’ve found traces of what the Unseelie King can do here in Idris too. We discovered a terrible blight in Brocelind Forest. Our angelic weapons don’t work inside the blight, nor does witchlight.”

“You’ll have to let him testify, Dad,” Alec said. “Don’t you see how dangerous this is? The Cohort creates division between Shadowhunters and Downworlders, when we need to form one front against a mighty enemy.”

Maryse pressed her hands against her eyes. “Let’s hope the Council will listen.”

Robert nodded, and stood up. “We have to go, Alexander.”

Alec followed his father outside, after kissing the kids goodbye and telling them to listen to their grandmother.

* * *

Robert had asked Alec to stand guard at the east entrance of the Hall. He obliged, although it frustrated him. Now he had to stand here, which meant he wouldn’t be able to be there when Magnus arrived.

Shadowhunters entered the hall in small groups. Some of them were wearing signs with awful slogans sloppily painted on them. Members of the Cohort.

The signs read ridiculous things. Like ‘Register All Warlocks,’ and ‘Downworlders Must Be Controlled.’ The whole thing made Alec shudder in revulsion.

He recognized the Blackthorn children standing together in a tight group. Only Julian was missing. He wondered where he could be, when suddenly Kit Herondale rushed toward him, seemingly out of nowhere. “Alec, Magnus needs you,” he said, a little out of breath. “He’s in the Council’s guest quarters.”

All the worry Alec felt for his boyfriend made him run flat out, storming through the corridors toward the guest quarters. He barged into the room, his eyes frantically searching and landing on his boyfriend laying unconscious on the sofa. Robert and Jia were standing next to him. Alec started forward but was held back by his father.

 _"Let me go_ ,” he said, tense.

 _"He’s fine_ ,” Robert said. “ _Brother_ _Enoch was just here. His magic’s depleted and he’s weak, but_ -”

“ _I know what’s wrong with him_ ,” Alec said. He pushed his father’s arm from his shoulder and knelt down by the sofa. Magnus looked so pale. He was sleeping, or so it seemed. Gently, Alec brushed his hair from his forehead. His skin felt clammy.

Upon his touch Magnus murmured and stirred.

“ _He hasn’t been well for a while_ ,” Alec muttered. “ _His magic gets depleted so fast. I told him to go to the Spiral Labyrinth, but there hasn’t been time_.”

“ _Isn’t there any way to make him better?_ ” Alec turned to see who had spoken. A young woman, a Shadowhunter, stood in the corner of the room, pressing her hands anxiously together. “ _I-I need him_.”

If Alec had to guess, this must be the famous Annabel Blackthorn, raised from the dead. He looked back at Magnus, who was sound asleep now. “ _He needs rest_ ,” he said. “ _We could delay the meeting_ -”

“ _Alec, we can’t_ ,” said Jia. “ _Obviously Magnus should rest. Annabel, you’ll be taken care of, I promise_.”

Annabel wouldn’t have it, but the rest of the conversation was lost to Alec, as he focused his attention on his fiancé. He tenderly placed his hand on Magnus’s cheek, whispering softly to him, “I’m here, Magnus. I’m right here.”

“ _Alec_ ,” his father said behind his back. “ _If_ _you need me, send for me_.”

“ _I’ll send Kit_ ,” Alec replied, not looking up. He felt his father’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing him softly, and then he, Jia and Annabel left the room. Kit and the Faerie prince, Kieran, who Alec saw standing in a corner, stayed put.

“ _Is he sick?_ ” a voice sounded. It was Zara Dearborn, who had walked into the room at some point apparently, Alec hadn’t noticed. “ _I didn’t think warlocks got sick. Wouldn’t it be funny if he died before you? I mean, what with him being immortal, you must have thought it would go the other way._ ”

Alec raised his head and stared at her, for a moment not quite believing those words actually got spoken by this arrogant, random stranger. “ _What?_ ” he said.

“ _Well, I mean since Magnus is immortal and you, you know, aren’t_ ,” she said.

“ _He’s immortal?_ ” Alec said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. " _I wish you’d told me before. I would have turned back time and found myself a nice mortal husband to grow old with_.”

“ _Well, wouldn’t that be better?_ ” said Zara. " _Then you could get old and die at the same time_.”

“ _At the same time?_ ” Alec didn’t move or raise his voice, but he was furious. The girl started to look uncomfortable, and, almost unconsciously, took a step back.

“ _How would you suggest we arrange that?_ ” Alec asked. “ _Jump off a cliff together when one of us started feeling sickly?_ ”

“ _Maybe_ ,” she said. “ _You_ _have to agree the situation you’re in is a tragedy_.”

This whole conversation rubbed Alec the wrong way. How dare she? How dare she question the best thing that ever happened to him and call it a tragedy. He rose to his feet, towering over her.

“ _This is what I want and what I’ve chosen_ ,” he said, a dangerous tone in his voice. “ _How dare you tell me it’s a tragedy? Magnus never pretended, he never tried to fool me into thinking it would be easy, but choosing Magnus is one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. We all have a lifetime, Zara, and none of us know how long or short it might be. Surely even you know that. I expect you mean to be rude and cruel, but I doubt you meant to sound stupid as well_.”

Zara took another step backwards and flushed. “ _But if you die of old age and he lives forever_ -”

“ _Then he’ll be there for Max, and that makes us both happy,_ ” Alec said. “ _And I will be a uniquely lucky person, because there will be someone who always remembers me. Who will always love me. Magnus won’t always mourn, but until the end of time he will remember me and love me._ ”

As he said the words, he realized how happy he was with the truth of them. It wouldn’t be easy to leave Magnus behind. To go where Magnus wouldn’t be able to follow him. But he knew, if there was a heaven, he could look down from it and watch the love of his life and know that he still lived on in Magnus’s heart.

“ _What makes you so sure?_ ” asked Zara. She sounded more uncertain than arrogant now.

“ _Because he’s three thousand times the human being you’ll ever be. Now get out of here before I risk his life by waking him up so he can turn you into a garbage fire. Something that would match your personality._ ” Alec spat out the words, and Zara looked actually offended.

“ _Oh,_ ” she said. “ _So rude!_ ”

She rambled on about how warlocks and Shadowhunters shouldn’t be together, weren’t meant to be together, how he was perverting his angelic lineage, but Alec was prevented from having to reply by Kieran, who made a snide comment.

Zara’s face was flushed as she threatened them that they would be ruined soon, and how she’d enjoy watching them all go down. She turned on her heels and left the room. Good riddance, Alec thought.

“ _Did she really say ‘pervert your angelic lineage’?_ ” said Alec. “ _Unbelievable._ ”

Kieran replied with saying that nothing she said had surprised him. He was staring out of the window as he said, “ _Hate like that can tear down the world._ ”

Alec went to sit down quietly on the floor, by Magnus’s side, touching his cheek every now and then, whispering his name.

“ _Do you want… I  mean, should someone tell the kids? Max and Rafe?_ ” asked Kit, from behind him.

Alec stood up and went across the room to the decanter to pour himself a glass of water. He looked at Kit, who seemed uncomfortable. He looked so much like Jace. The realization shot through Alec again. He wished Jace were here. Jace would know what to do, he’d give Alec some assurance that it was going to be alright.

“ _Not right now_ ,” he answered Kit’s question. “ _They’re safe in the city with my mother. They don’t need- Magnus doesn’t need-_ ” he hesitated, taking a sip of water. “ _I_ _was hoping he’d get better and we wouldn’t have to tell them anything.”_

Alec realized now that despite his worries, he’d underestimated this. He’d always, on some level, just expected Magnus to get better. But what if he didn’t? What if it would only grow worse from here?

“ _You said you knew what’s wrong with him_ ,” Kit spoke up again. “ _Is it-dangerous?_ ”

“ _I don’t know_ ,” Alec said. “ _But I do know one thing. It isn’t just him. It’s other warlocks too. Tessa and Jem have been looking for a cause or cure, but she’s sick too_ -”

A sudden roar of noise made Alec lift his head. It was coming from the Hall. “ _I’ve heard that sound before. Something’s happening. In the Hall._ ”

Kieran, who had been sitting motionlessly in the windowsill jumped up. “ _I_ _t is death_.”

“ _It might not be_ ,” said Kit.

“ _I can smell blood and hear screams_ ,” replied Kieran. He yanked off the wooden curtain rod from the ceiling, holding it out in front of him. “ _I will not be found weaponless when they come_.”

Alec held out a hand to calm him. “ _You should stay here. Both of you. I’ll find out what’s going on. My father_ -”

The door flew open and Alec recognized one of the Centurions. Centurions were Shadowhunters who were members of a special elite unit. Kieran flew the curtain rod at his head, but the boy ducked and swore in Spanish. “ _What the hell?_ ” he asked.

“ _He thinks you’re here to kill us_ ,” said Kit. “ _Are you?_ ”

“ _Things have gone bad in the Hall_ ,” replied the Shadowhunter.

“ _Has anyone been injured?_ ” Alec asked.

The boy, only a few years younger than him, hesitated, but nodded. “ _Your father_ …”

Alec didn’t want to show these younger Shadowhunters and the Faerie prince how much that shocked him. He carefully placed his glass down, walked to the sofa and bend down to kiss Magnus on his forehead and cheek. The warlock didn’t respond.

“ _Stay here_ ,” Alec said to Kit and Kieran.

He walked out of the room, and as soon as he was in the corridor, he started running. He wondered what could’ve possibly happened that would wound his father. Was it the Cohort? But he didn’t think they’d use violence for their cause, at least not in this early stadium.

He arrived at the Hall and threw the door open. Inside it was mayhem. Throngs of Shadowhunters stood shouting, others were screaming. He looked up at the dais to see Jia Penhallow standing over his father’s body, which lay motionless on the floor.

Jia was holding her hands out, they were red from the blood, and so was her robe. His father’s blood, Alec thought with a pang. He tried to surge forward, but the crowd was too thick. He saw Annabel Blackthorn on the stage, wielding the Mortal Sword. Julian was there, and Emma, raising Cortana high in the air.

Alec couldn’t move, he just stared with shock and horror when Emma struck with her blade against Annabel’s sword, and the Mortal Sword shattered. Livia slipped between the guards,  throwing Julian, who was weaponless, a longsword. Everything seemed to be happening really quickly now. Julian tried to calm Annabel down. Emma was wielding Cortana. But Annabel surged forward, and without anything holding her back she plunged the remains of the shattered sword in Livvy’s heart. The girl staggered, blood started to pour from the wound, and she fell back. Julian lunged for her, and Emma whirled on Annabel.

Smoke erupted from the window behind Annabel, who staggered back. There were black shadows everywhere. For a second Alec saw a movement inside the smoke, and a sigil. A golden crown, broken into three pieces. The sigil of the Unseelie King.

The next moment Annabel was pulled backwards into the smoke, and she was gone.

Alec felt he could move again and pushed forward through the crowd. “ _Dad, please, Dad_ ,” he called out. People moved to let him pass and he hurried up the dais and fell on his knees before his father.

There was blood everywhere. Julian sat with his sister’s body in his lap. Alec’s own trousers got soaked with his father’s blood. An ugly wound was visible on his chest, and blood continued to pour out from underneath him. No one could lose such an amount of blood and live through it. Alec knew the horrible truth: His father was dead.

He bent forward and pressed his forehead against Robert’s as he whispered, “My father.”


	100. The Lord of Hell and the Lord of Shadows

_**Magnus** _

 

_ The glass he was holding slipped out of his hand. It hit the floor and broke, and a moment later Magnus followed it. He seemed to fold up like paper, his head striking the stone with an ugly thump. _

\-        Lord of Shadows, p.670

* * *

 

The world had gone dark. More than dark. Magnus had the sensation of falling deep, without ever hitting the ground. All he did was fall, and all he saw was blackness.

Somewhere, not far from him and yet unreachable, he heard Alec’s voice murmuring his name. He felt Alec’s hand on his cheek, a real presence, yet uncatchable. Magnus tried to move, to let Alec know he was still there, but he couldn’t. The darkness brought him further down. And with it came oblivion.

* * *

 

Magnus stirred and his eyes fluttered open. He noticed Alec’s presence instantly, he was sitting on the floor with his back against the sofa on which Magnus lay. He felt bone tired, yet he reached out a hand to touch Alec’s hair. At his touch Alec turned to look at him, and Magnus knew immediately that something was very wrong. Alec’s face was ash gray and his eyes were red.

Magnus sat up, a hand on Alec’s shoulder, “What happened?”

The sudden movement made him dizzy, and he briefly closed his eyes, to make the spinning stop. Alec got up from the floor and gently pushed him back on the sofa. He went to sit down next to him and slowly trailed a hand through Magnus’s hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Magnus said, “But most of all worried. I can tell something happened, something bad. You have to tell me.”

Alec swallowed and inhaled a deep breath. “My father’s dead,” he whispered, his voice slightly shaking.

Magnus’s eyes went wide with disbelief, it felt as if only moments ago Robert Lightwood was standing alive and well next to him, arguing about where Julian should stand during the interrogation. What could possibly have killed him? Magnus wanted to sit up again, but Alec held him back.

“You have to lie down, Magnus. I’m worried about you,” Alec said slowly, with a tired voice. “It’s going so fast now, this depletion because of the magic. I wonder, maybe you should keep off the magic for a while. At least until we figure out what’s wrong with you. I-I need you.” He closed his eyes, and, when he opened them again, they were filled with tears. “Being a Shadowhunter, it’s a world of scars and killing. A world of loss too, I know that. First my little brother, now my father. It’s beyond hard, yet it’s what we know, what we’re used to. But I don’t feel like that with you. I can’t live without you. I love you more than I love myself. More than anyone else in this world. Please…”

His voice trailed off, and Magnus ached for him, knowing how much he hurt right now. Alec’s relationship with his father hadn’t always been good, but in the last years it had grown into something better, something closer to what it should be. Max and Rafe had a lot to do with that. Robert had grown softer ever since he’d become a grandfather. And his relationship with Alec, and with Magnus too, had become so much better because of it.

Thinking about his sons made Magnus even more upset. They both loved their grandfather, even Rafe, who had only been part of their lives for a couple of weeks. Now he, who had endured so much loss, had to cope with another loss. And Max, he wouldn’t even understand, young as he was. Magnus longed to have his children close, hold them and comfort them. But they weren’t here, and Magnus had Alec to comfort now.

He placed an arm around his fiancé and pulled him to his chest. Alec became pliant in his arms, resting his head under Magnus’s chin, and let out a deep sigh. “I’m so, so sorry, honey,” Magnus whispered. “So sorry for your loss. Please don’t worry about me. I’m sure I’ll be fine. And I’ll rest, okay?”

“Okay.” Alec’s voice came soft as a whisper. After a minute or two of lying against him, Alec sat up. “Annabel did it. She killed him with the Mortal Sword. She killed one of the Blackthorns kids as well, Livia. It’s total chaos. Mom is on her way here, she sent me a fire message that she’s bringing the kids.”

“Good,” Magnus said. He closed his eyes again, the tiredness dragging him down. His limbs felt like dead weight, like lead. When he raised a hand to touch Alec’s cheek, it was almost too much. Alec looked at him, a look of intense worry and sadness. He took Magnus’s hand and placed it on his side.

“Sleep some more,” he said. “I’ll wake you when they’re here.”

Magnus nodded and closed his eyes, soon the world drifted away. Only Alec’s words lingered in the back of his mind.

_ It’s a world of scars and killing. _

* * *

_ The sky was grey. The streets were wet. Magnus walked through the abandoned city. The buildings weren’t made of concrete, but of bones. A city of bones, filled with ashes. It started to rain, which made everything gleam with red. Ruby red drops fell on his clothes, on the street below him. Thick drops, not water but blood. _

_ "Magnus,” a voice cut through the air. Seemingly out of nowhere, his father stood before him. He felt his cold, inhuman gaze, weighing him in the balance. _

_ “My son, one of many, but you have made me most proud,” Asmodeus said. _

_ “Why?” Magnus asked. _

_ “Because you’re still alive, after all these centuries.” He chuckled. “It’s quite an accomplishment.” _

_ “What are you doing here?” Magnus said. _

_ “How ungrateful you sound. Can’t I visit my son anymore? Do I need a reason?” Asmodeus chuckled again. _

_ “You always have one,” Magnus replied. _

_ “Very well,” Asmodeus said. “I came to warn you. This,” he gestured around in the dead city, “Is what will come of you if no one will stand up against the Unseelie King. He’s cursed the lands, he’s cursed all warlocks. He’s after the Seelie court, and he wants to wipe out the race of Shadowhunters. Not that I care about any of those things. But warlocks are my children. If I want them cursed, I’ll curse them. If I want them dead, I’ll kill them. I cannot let that bastard of an Unseelie King wipe out all my kin.” _

_ “Why did he curse warlocks?” Magnus asked. “Is that why we’re sick?” _

_ “Indeed it is. And the only way to end it, is to kill him.” Asmodeus grinned an evil grin. “He was betrayed by Malcolm Fade. He was supposed to bring him the Black Volume of the Dead, but he never did. So the piece of shit thought it fit to curse all warlocks because of that. The audacity! And now Annabel Blackthorn has taken the Black Volume to him, and it will only take him days with that book to figure out how to end all of you for good.” _

_ Magnus stared at his father in surprised horror, not quite knowing what to think of it. “Why do you care?” _

_ “I DON’T CARE!” Asmodeus thundered. “I’m a demon, demons don’t care. But I won’t let him take what is mine. Now, you, you are in league with those godawful Shadowhunters. You tell them to go fight against the Unseelie King. They’ll probably all die, but if they succeed, you’ll be saved.” _

_ Magnus rolled his eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me? Why won’t you kill him yourself? Why should I sent Alec to his death, and all the others with him if you can kill him with a snap of the fingers?” _

_ Asmodeus shrugged carelessly. “You know Faeries are part angel and part demon. The Unseelie King is one of the ancient Faeries. His mother was an angel. His father is Lucifer himself. I cannot kill him. I  _ can _ warn you and ask your Shadowhunters to do the job. That’s all I can do, I’ve done it now. You suit yourself whether you want to share this knowledge with your precious Lightwood. He’ll be hurt and betrayed if you don’t. And he’ll probably end up dead anyways.” _

_ Asmodeus turned and started walking away from him. Magnus stepped forward and placed a hand on his father’s arm. “What do I get out of it?” _

_ “You might survive,” Asmodeus said. “But you know what? I’ll cut you a deal: If you pass the message along and the Nephilim will fight the Unseelie court, and if your Shadowhunter boyfriend survives that war, I can make him immortal, free of charge.” _

_ “Alec doesn’t want to become immortal,” Magnus replied. _

_ “We’ll see about that,” Asmodeus said, a vicious grin on his face. “He loves you, he doesn’t want to live without you. Tell him about my proposal, he might change his mind.” _

_ “He won’t,” Magnus said, but he felt uncertain about it. _

_ “It’s all the same to me.” He shrugged again. “If he does, call on me. But do know there’s no time to waste. The King has the Black Volume, and he can create a lot of death with it. It’s a matter of days.” _

_ Before Magnus could reply or ask anymore, Asmodeus held up a hand by way of greeting and vanished. _

_ Magnus turned in a circle, watching the city, its streets filled with blood, and he shuddered. _

* * *

“Daddy!”

The sound of his son yelling invaded Magnus’s sleep.

“Shh, Max.” Alec’s voice sounded subdued. “Don’t yell too hard, Papa is sleeping.”

“Why?” Max asked, in a much softer tone. “It’s not night.”

Magnus felt a small hand touch his forehead, cool to the touch. “He’s warm.” It was Rafe who had spoken. He cracked his eyes open and saw his five year old son looking down on him.

“¿Está bien?” he asked, his face serious. His small hand moved to Magnus’s cheek.

Magnus smiled at him, and placed his own hand on top of his. “Of course, Rafe. No need to worry about me. I was just sleeping.”

Alec, who was sitting in a chair with Max on his lap, got up when he heard Magnus speaking. He placed Max on the ground and went to sit on the edge of the long couch. “Hey, you’re awake? How are you feeling? You were so restless.”

“Alec, I need to talk to you,” Magnus said, an urgent tone in his voice.

Alec’s eyebrows shot up, a question on his lips, but before he could ask it someone knocked on the door. It opened and Isabelle came in.

“Izzy!” Alec got up and hugged his sister. She held on tight but didn’t cry, neither of them did. It was amazing, Magnus thought, how Shadowhunters handled their losses. If he didn’t know them so well, he’d say they weren’t even shaken one bit by losing their father.

“I just talked to Mom,” Izzy said, when they let each other go. “She’s taking care of Dad. She’s being really strong about it. She told me you were here. Clary and Jace are on their way. I got a text from them just before we portalled to Idris.”

“Where’s Simon?” Alec asked.

“He’s in the Hall, helping with escorting people out. They cancelled the rest of the meeting because of what happened, and some people aren’t too happy with that.”

“Let me guess, the Cohort?” Alec sounded slightly frustrated.

“Obviously.” Isabelle threw her hair back, an irritated gesture. “They wanted to grab the power, and now they can’t. I’m sure they’ll find another way.”

She sighed deeply and looked over at Magnus. “Why are you-?” she started, but stopped her question mid-sentence.

"On the couch?” Magnus ended it for her. “Needed some rest.”

“You needed some rest?” Isabelle’s voice rose up an octave. “With this mayhem going on, you needed rest?”

“Izzy, calm down,” Alec said, he indicated his children with his head. Rafe was still at Magnus’s side, and Max had crawled up on the sofa and had placed himself on top of his father.

Isabelle looked confused, her eyes darting from Alec to Magnus and back to Alec. “Is there something I should know?”

“Probably,” Magnus said. “But for now, can you maybe take the children? I really need to speak with Alec, alone.”

“Sure,” Isabelle said. She walked toward him and picked Max up from his lap. “Let’s go Maxie! You too, Rafe.”

She took the young Shadowhunter by the hand, and he obediently followed her out to the hall.

Alec was still standing in the middle of the room, but he turned and went to sit next to Magnus on the sofa. “What’s going on?”

Magnus told Alec everything Asmodeus had told him. Everything, except the part where he had offered to make Alec immortal. He didn’t want to share that information with him. Not yet. If the Nephilim were going to heed his warnings and fight against the Unseelie King, the chance of Alec never getting out of there alive was too big. The thought frightened Magnus. He decided Alec was better off not knowing, at least for now. He’ll tell him after. If there ever was going to be an after.

Alec said nothing, just stared and listened to Magnus’s story. Only after Magnus was done he slowly shook his head. “Why did he tell you all that?”

“He doesn’t want the Unseelie King to kill off all warlocks,” Magnus explained. “It’s that simple.”

“So, all warlocks will die?” Alec asked, his voice shook.

“If no one stops him.”

Alec bit down on his lip hard. “We’ll stop him. I’ll go tell the Consul now. Once Jace is here, we’ll assemble every capable Shadowhunter and go. We’ll hunt him down and kill him.”

“Alexander, it’s really dangerous,” Magnus said, placing a hand on his arm. “The Unseelie King is very powerful. And how are you even going to reach him? It’s not like he’s living in a country house in Poland or something.”

“A country house in Poland? How random,” Alec said. “Nevertheless, we’ll have to go. We’ll go into Faerie. We’ll figure something out. It’s not just you, it’s Max too, and all other warlocks. We have to fight for you.”

“You might die, there’s such a big chance that you might die,” Magnus said. He hated how scared he felt. “I really don’t want you to. I can’t even protect you.”

“Magnus, this is my job.” Alec didn’t sound impatient, but his voice didn’t waver. “Besides, if I don’t go, I’ll die too. Asmodeus said it himself. The King’s going to kill off all Nephilim because of the Cold Peace. He already started spreading death in Idris. There’s a large, scarred patch found in Brocelind Forest. A blight. Angelic powers don’t work in the blight. We can’t use runes, seraph blades or witchlight in there. Soon the whole world would be like that. It is our mandate to fight for this world.”

Alec bent forward and pressed his lips on Magnus’s forehead. “You feel so warm,” he whispered. “You’ve got to let me do this for you. I need to save you, and Max.”

Magnus nodded. “I won’t stop you. Hell, even if I wanted to, I can’t. I’m useless.”

“Don’t say that,” Alec frowned. “You’ll never be useless to me. I need you, I’ll always need you.”

Alec got up, touched Magnus’s cheek softly, and started walking to the door. “I’m going to tell Jia what you said. We have to hurry.”

“What about your father?” Magnus asked, sitting up. “He should have a funeral.”

“It will have to wait,” Alec replied, and then he was out of the door.

Magnus sank back against the pillows and sighed deeply. He had an unnerving feeling at the pit of his stomach. A sense of foreboding. He didn’t know why, but somehow he felt he was going to lose him. Either by his own death or Alec’s.

All good things had to end sometime.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, here's the deal: as you've read, I made Asmodeus offer to make Alec immortal. But what to do? Will Alec accept that offer? It will be an offer without any negative consequences. But still... Alec doesn't want to become immortal, he says so himself in TMI. What to do? I would really, really appreciate your thoughts on this. Give me some advice: should I make him immortal, or not? Pls let me know!!! Thanks <3


	101. In Sickness and in War

_**Alec** _

Alec ran through the corridors to the Hall of Accords. There were still Shadowhunters in there, clotted together in small groups, muttering their unhappiness. Jia was arguing with Horace Dearborn, Zara’s awful father and leader of the Cohort. When Alec approached them, he heard him say, “We should appoint a new Inquisitor directly and proceed with the meeting. It is too important to delay.

“Why?” Jia asked. She was still wearing her blood stained robe, even though she’d washed her hands. “Why do you want to proceed so badly, Horace? We have more urgent matters at hand. Annabel is gone, so is the Black Volume. We have to investigate.

“About that,” Alec interrupted. They both looked up, Horace Dearborn with a disapproving look on his face once he recognized Alec. “We have to wage a war against the Unseelie King, and we have to do it now.”

“What do you know about it, Alec Lightwood?” Horace said with contempt. “You think you can order us around?”

“It’s not about me, and I do not intend to order you around,” Alec said, impatiently. “But the Unseelie King has the Black Volume now. With it he intends to destroy all Shadowhunters. He wants revenge because of the Cold Peace. He wants to seize power in the Seelie Court and he wants to kill off all warlocks.”

“Ah!” said Horace. “That’s why you care so much. Because of that filthy warlock boyfriend of yours.

Alec closed his eyes for a second, trying not to lose his temper. “This is not about Magnus. It’s about our mandate to protect people. And it’s not just warlocks, he’s after Shadowhunters too. Didn’t you listen to a single word I said?”

Jia, who had been silent up until then, held up a hand. “How do you know all this, Alec?”

Alec hesitated, staring at Horace. He was afraid that if he told them about Asmodeus, the Cohort president would just laugh in his face. Jia followed his gaze and took him by the arm. “Come with me to my chambers,” she said.

He followed her through the halls, when he sensed his parabatai rune. Jace had arrived in the Gard. “Wait a second,” he said to Jia. “Jace is on his way. He needs to hear this too.”

It didn’t take Jace and Clary long to arrive at the Hall of Accords. Alec and Jia awaited them at the entrance. After exchanging hugs, the four of them went to Jia’s office. There Alec told them everything he’d heard from Magnus. The warlock’s curse, the plan of the King to wipe out Shadowhunters and grasp power in the Seelie realm.

Jia’s mouth fell open. “By the Angel,” she murmured, when Alec was finished.

“It’s true,” Clary said. “We were on Faerie mission and spoke to the Seelie Queen. She told us the same thing. Well, not about the warlock’s curse, but the rest of it. Now it seems the King has the Black Volume, which will only increase his power. We need to stand against him.”

“And we need to hurry,” Jace said. “No time to lose. Gather everyone who’s fit to fight. We can go to Seelie and from there to the Unseelie Court. Jia, you have to carry out the order."

Jia nodded. “I’m afraid you are right. Let’s just hope and pray the Cohort won’t riot because of this.”

“Why would they riot?” Clary asked. “It’s not like they are good friends with the Unseelie King. He wants them dead too.”

“You have a point,” Jia said. She sighed, looking tired and older than her years. “Very well, I’ll sound the alarm.”

Alec walked with Jace and Clary back to the guest quarters, where Magnus was sitting upright, Rafe on his lap and Max sitting by his side, playing with an action figure. He was quietly talking with Maryse, Isabelle and Simon.

Jace and Clary hugged the others quickly. “We have to prepare for war,” Jace said. “Everybody should gear up. We’re going to Faerie.”

The alarm sounded, indicating every Shadowhunter fit for duty to report in the Gard. From there they’d portal to the Seelie Court. Jace send a message to the Queen to expect them soon.

“This is all going so fast,” said Maryse. “We need time to plan. You know the Unseelie King has an organized army. That is not the same as the demons we usually fight. This will be a proper battle.”

“I know,” said Jace. “Once in Seelie we will discuss tactics. The Seelie knights will fight with us. We need to go there now.”

He dumped a bag on the floor. Only now Alec saw he had it with him. “Here’s gear and weapons.”

Maryse shook her head. “I can’t believe this. We don’t even have the time for Robert’s funeral.” She stood up and walked to the door. “I’m going to discuss it with Jia.”

“She’ll probably want you to go back to New York,” said Jace. “We need at least a handful of Shadowhunters staying in this world.”

“If that’s true,” Magnus spoke, with a little difficulty. “Can’t Alec stay? For the children.”

Maryse shook her head, she looked sad. “Oh, Magnus.” She opened the door and walked away.

Alec zipped up his gear jacket and walked over to where Magnus was sitting. He went to sit next to him to face him. He felt a pang of concern, for Magnus still looked so worn out. “Honey,” he said softly. “I can’t stay. I need to go with Jace, you know that. We’re parabatai, we’re soldiers.”

“I know. It was a long shot,” Magnus said, smiling a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”

Alec gave him a sad smile and put a hand on Magnus’s cheek. He bend forward, touching Magnus’s forehead with his own. “You should go back to New York with the children and my mother. You’ll be safe in the Institute.”

Magnus nodded a slow and tired nod. It made everything inside Alec scream in protest. He couldn’t leave Magnus. Especially now that he was so sick. He needed to be there for him, care for him. In sickness and in health, right? But now it was sickness and war, and he needed to fight.

But what if Magnus died from this curse without Alec there to hold him when he drew his last breath? And what about the children? What if the King cast another spell that would make every warlock drop dead within the second? Rafe would be all alone.

The thought made tears prick behind Alec’s eyes. He couldn’t give into that now. He needed to be strong. He needed to fight and believe that it was possible they could win this. That he could come back to his family, who needed him.

Magnus had his eyes closed and a hand pressed on Alec’s arm. Alec felt a tap on his other shoulder and looked up at Jace, who looked down on them with sad eyes.

“We’re going to the Gard,” Jace said to him. “We’ll wait there for you, okay? Don’t take too long.”

Alec nodded and turned his attention back to Magnus, while the others left the room.

“I love you,” he whispered. His hand moved to Magnus’s chin, and he lifted his head up. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Magnus replied, so soft it was almost inaudible. “I can’t lose you, Alec. Please, be careful.”

Alec closed his eyes for a second, wondering if Magnus could hear his heart breaking.

“I cannot guarantee that I’ll come back safe. Nor can you guarantee me you’ll stay alive until I do. We’ll have to part without knowing we’ll ever see each other again in this life, on this earth. But I know your soul.” Alec heaved a deep breath. “I know your beautiful, shining soul, Magnus Bane. I will find you. You will find me. We’ll always find each other again, for our souls are immortal, and mine belongs to you.”

“In another time, in another universe,” Magnus whispered. His arms were around Alec now, and he held onto him. “I love you, Alexander Lightwood. And I love your soul. Now go, fight. May the grace of the Angel, the grace of God Almighty be with you.”

“I didn’t know you were religious?” Alec replied.

“Was raised a good Christian.” Magnus looked into Alec’s eyes, and Alec stared back, drinking in the beautiful green-gold eyes of the love of his life. His heart ached, he didn’t want to leave him, although he knew he had to. There was no other choice.

Magnus leaned forward, and Alec pressed his lips against him. They kissed a sad kiss, a desperate, yet gentle kiss. A kiss that didn’t last long enough, not by a long shot.

Then he picked both his sons up and in his arms and held them close. “You two, be good to your father, and kind to each other. And know that I love you both.”

They didn’t say anything, but they both threw their arms around Alec’s neck and pressed themselves against him.

The door opened and Maryse entered. “Jace was right,” she said as she walked toward them. “Jia wants me to go to New York. I’ll be the only adult Shadowhunter in North America. Mundanes better pray there won’t be a demon attack while you’re all in Faerie.”

Alec stood up, placed his kids on Magnus’s lap and trailed a hand through his boyfriend’s hair. He gave him a last smile, a smile with infinite love in it, before he turned around and hugged his mother. 

“You’ll take them with you, Mom, to New York? And take care of them.”

“Of course, my son. Now go, may the Angel be with you.”

Alec walked to the door. At the threshold he cast a look over his shoulder, to see his family one last time. Magnus sat on the couch, Rafe and Max still on his lap. All three of them stared at him. All three of them crying. He bit his lip and resisted the urge to run back and hold them all tight. Instead he raised a hand in farewell and walked through the door.

This was, by far, the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life.


	102. On Unseelie Grounds

**_Alec_ **

The Seelie Court was filled with thousands of Nephilim and at least as many Seelie Knights. Jia Penhallow had appointed several Shadowhunters to lead in battle. This battle needed to be far more organized than a battle against demons. Demons didn’t have leaders nor tactics nor organization. But the Unseelie army would. Everyone was placed in groups of a hundred, with an officer leading each group. Jace was one of the officers, obviously. They discussed tactic with the Seelies, who knew much more about the Unseelie army than the Shadowhunters did.

Horace Dearborn was muttering under his breath, disgusted that he needed to take orders from Seelies. “Don’t think I’ll ever do what they tell me to do,” Alec heard him say to his daughter. “Once we’re done with the Unseelie King, we’ll take them up next.”

Zara smirked, although she looked uncomfortable. Alec wondered if she’d ever set foot on Faerie land before. More Shadowhunters were filing in through the Portal. Alec recognized the centurion who had told him about his father, and with him was Kieran. Mark Blackthorn saw him too and darted toward him, Cristina in his wake.

“Where were you?” Mark asked. “I was worried.”

“Cristina had Perfect Diego take me away to a safe place,” said Kieran. “Didn’t she tell you? She thought the Cohort would harm me. But now I’ve heard we’re going to battle, and I couldn’t let you go without me. I know the Unseelie Realm. You will need me.”

Alec walked toward him and inclined his head in greeting. “Good of you to come, Kieran Hunter. And you are right. We need you. We need you to scout the lands, together with Mark. You’re both Faerie and you’ve been there before.”

Kieran bowed stiffly. “We will go and find my brother, Adaon. And I will beg of him to take the throne. When he accepts, and we can overcome the King, my father, peace is possible.”

Mark tensed beside him. “A one-sided peace? I don’t think so. If we win this war, it has to be the end of the Cold Peace. That’s also a condition of the Seelie Queen. The only reason she lets her knights fight with us.”

Jace, who appeared beside Alec, lifted his eyebrows in question. “The only reason? I thought she wanted to protect her lands.”

“That too,” said Kieran. “But we demand the end of the Cold Peace. And we want that signed on paper.”

“Very well,” said Jace. He turned and went to talk with Jia and the other officers.

Alec looked at Mark and Kieran, who stood close together. “I’m sure it will work,” he said. “If we live through this.”

At that moment a curtain at the end of the huge hall fell open and the Seelie Queen entered. She wore her flaming hair loose, it fell in waves down her back and over her shoulders. She was dressed in a gown which seemed to glow from the inside out, a beautiful jade color.

“Nephilim,” her voice rose out over the hall and a hushed silence fell. “Here you are, in my realm. We will aid you in your war against the Unseelie King. I have received his message only seconds ago. He declares war with me and with you. We will unite, and we will defeat him.”

The Seelie knights cheered, but the Queen held up her hand. “We will defeat him,” her voice sounded shrill and confident. “And afterward we will drink together and celebrate the end of the Cold Peace.”

A few Shadowhunters murmured among themselves. They were all members of the Cohort, Alec noticed. The last thing they would want was the end of the Cold Peace. But now that the King had officially declared war on them, there was no escaping it. It was the only positive thing in all of this misery. The odds were bleak, but if they won, the outcome would be somewhat glorious.

Yet at what cost? That Alec didn’t know.

Jace stepped forward and inclined his head to the Queen. “It will be so,” he said formally. Then he turned and yelled over the hall. “Shadowhunters, be prepared. This is no ordinary fight. We will enter the Unseelie Realm. Our Runes won’t work, Seraph blades won’t work. But we are soldiers, we are trained, and we can fight with any weapon. We have to trust in our skills, in our strength. We can do it.”

“We can do it!” shouted thousands of Shadowhunters, their voices resonating in the hall.

“We can do it,” Alec repeated.

Isabelle came to stand beside him and touched his arm. “Hey big brother. Ready to kick some ass!”

She grinned at him widely. “Remember how we used to roam the streets of New York, the three of us? How we had each other’s backs? We’re going to be like that again, we can do this, and we’re going to succeed.” She slid her electrum whip from her wrist and smacked it on the ground with a loud whoosh.

“Always so confident, little sister,” Alec replied, smiling.

“Of course. With confidence you’re already one step ahead of your enemy.” She winked at him.

Alec touched her cheek affectionately. “You’re so smart and strong, Izzy. But you know I’ll always have your back, right?”

* * *

 

In groups of a hundred, the Shadowhunters and Seelie Knights marched through long corridors below the earth. It was the way from the Seelie Realm to the Unseelie Realm. They walked on packed dirt, roots of trees came through the ceilings and the air smelled like forest, earth and rain. After long hours of marching─-Alec had lost all track of time─the corridor retreated and they were standing under an open sky.

It was night, although Alec had no idea what time it could be. The colors of the sky were strange, soft green and purple swirls against a black night. Alec craned his neck to regard the stars, he didn’t recognize any of them.

Not even the same sky as the sky Magnus is looking at now, Alec thought. Time worked differently in Faerie. For all he knew days, weeks even could have passed on the earth. It could also be a couple of hours. There was no way to know.

Jace nudged Alec’s shoulder. “We have to be hyper aware now that we’re on Unseelie ground. There are some scouts on the way to make sure we won’t walk into a trap. Mark and Kieran have gone off to find Adaon. We have to trust he will back us. This is going to be a tough fight, Alec.”

“I know,” Alec said. “We have to fight it and fight it fast. For my family. For all of us. For our father.”

Jace lifted his arm and Alec clasped his hand in his parabatai’s. “It’s weird,” he said, sensing Jace’s energy. “They say Runes don’t work here, but I guess our parabatai Rune is an exception. I can feel you.”

“We’ll stay together and fight together,” Jace replied. “We’ll be invincible. Let’s march, Alec. To war.”

And they did. They marched all night. Only after dawn they took a small break to eat, drink, and rest a little. The groups of Shadowhunters and Faeries wavered out over the lands. Alec and Jace were in the front line. When Alec looked back, all he saw for miles and miles were soldiers. Nephilim in black gear, Faerie knights in green coats with the sigil of the Seelie Queen embroidered on their chest with gold thread. It filled him with hope. They might stand a chance.

After another long day of marching Alec noticed a dark spot in the distance growing larger with each step they took. He placed a hand on Jace’s shoulder. “Look,” he said.

Hoofs sounded loudly on the packed earth, and a rider appeared between the trees in the east. “It’s the King’s army,” he shouted. “They’ve arrived. They will attack before noon.”

“Noon?” Jace asked. “It’s almost dark out. Do you mean noon tomorrow?”

“No,” the Faerie knight shook his head. “It’s the King’s magic. He’s making it dark. Noon will arrive within the hour.”

Jace and Alec looked at each other and nodded simultaneously. Jace called out over the lands. “Prepare for battle!”

His shout echoed, and the officer of the next group of hundred picked up the call and passed it through. Before long it seemed a wave of movement was going through the people, as everyone took their assigned place for the battle. The dark spot in the distance had grown, and Alec could see now that it wasn’t a spot, but an army.

“Alec.” Jace’s  voice was urgent. “You are in charge of the archers. You have to stay back and defend us when we go.”

“I don’t want to leave your side,” Alec retorted.

“From the back you have better view. You can aim and shoot without the enemy rushing all around you,” Jace said. “Once you’ve emptied your quiver, you can come and join me.”

Alec nodded. He assembled the archers of his group around him, making sure they would stand together within hearing distance.

Jace unsheathed his longsword and held it outstretched in front of him. “To war!” he called.

Alec spanned an arrow in his bow. Isabelle, beside him was coiling her whip. Clary was holding a sword and Simon a crossbow. They surged forward in a straight line. The Unseelie army loomed up in front of them. Rows upon rows of warriors, too many to count.

Isabelle, beside him, sucked in a breath. “There are so many of them.”

A whooshing sound filled the air, accompanied by a horrifying shriek. Alec looked up to the sky and saw dozens of arrows flying. “Cover your head!” he yelled.

The arrows crashed down around him, and he saw people get hit and fall down. A Seelie knight fell beside him. “Release your arrows,” he called out to the archers around him. He spanned his bow, aimed and took shot. He didn’t watch the arrow fly, but reached for a new one right away.

“Archers,” he yelled. “Stay back and shoot. Shoot until you’ve got nothing left. Only then will we join the swordsmen.”

Simon and the other archers stood with him, while the others moved forward, slowly but deliberately. Alec aimed again, shot and reached back for his quiver. Aim, shot, reach back. He repeated the movement countless times. The coldness of battle had descended on him. He didn’t feel anything, no fear or dread, only the strong urge to fight and defend what he held dear.

It didn’t take long before he notched his last arrow. After he shot it, he grabbed his sword and ran flat out to join the fight. Everywhere around him he saw swords clashing, people were screaming in pain, there was blood and death in the air.

An Unseelie knight appeared in front of him, slashing a sword toward him. Alec parried and struck the sword with his own. They clashed with great force, sparks flew up in the air. The Unseelie knight grinned at Alec as he surged forward again. “Shadowhunter filth,” he snarled. “Any last words?”

Alec didn’t have Jace’s wit, he didn’t have a canny remark or the breath to speak it. Instead he lifted his sword and plunged it into the knight’s side. Blood poured out of him as he sank to his knees. Alec stood over him and looked down. “My last words won’t be spoken to you,” he said, and he finished off the knight, slicing his throat.

Before he could take another breath, a new enemy erupted in front of him. He wielded his sword, deflecting the blow of the soldier. As he turned and slashed at his enemy, almost cutting him in half, he searched the field for Jace. He wasn’t far from him, his golden hair blazing in the wind. Alec rushed forward to join his parabatai. They fought back to back, slicing and hacking away in the most bloody fight they’d ever fought.

* * *

Alec had no idea how much time had passed, but he was getting exhausted. “We need to retreat,” he called out to Jace.

They needed rest, they needed food. Alec looked around and noticed how many Shadowhunters were lying dead around him, and Seelie knights too. The earth was filled with corpses, their blood draining the land.

A city filled with blood, Alec thought, remembering Magnus’s dream.

Jace yelled to the people around him to fall back. They moved backwards over a small hill they had crossed earlier. There, they came to a stand. It seemed as if there was some unspoken agreement between the two armies, because the Unseelie army retreated as well. Both sides needed to catch their breath and regroup. When Alec saw the immediate threat disappearing, he sank down on the ground. His whole body aching from the fight.

He stared over the plain stretched out in front of him. “So many deaths,” he whispered. “So much hate. We’re being slaughtered.”

Isabelle and Simon came to sit down beside him. “We need a plan,” Isabelle said. “There are too many of them and they’re too strong. We’re on their lands, the King gives them power while we go without.”

“We need to go directly to the King,” Simon suggested. “Just us, with Clary and Jace. We’ll wear disguises, like we did in Edom, remember? We have to try to get behind enemy lines and invade the court. And kill the King.”

“Like an assassin?” Isabelle asked.

“Yes,” Simon nodded, smiling at her. “But those are mostly loners. We need to go as a group. We’re strongest when we’re together.”

“If you’re planning to go to the King, you have to take us with you,” a voice sounded.

Alec looked up and saw Emma Carstairs standing there, Julian beside her. They were both dirty, their gear torn. Julian had a long gash on his cheek, blood slowly trickling down on his collar. Healing Runes didn’t work, obviously.

Jace and Clary appeared behind them. “Take you with us where?” Clary asked.

Alec scrambled up from the ground and locked eyes with his parabatai. “To the King. We’re going to kill the King.”


	103. Magnus's Diary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentioning of minor character death.  
> I hope you will forgive me for killing people off. You know Cassie does it too and the Shadowhunter TV show doesn't shy away from it either. It just doesn't seem logical/plausible for everyone to survive. So that's what the trigger warning is for.
> 
> If you believe I intended to break your heart with this chapter, than you're probably right. I know my own heart broke writing it.  
> I <3 you all.

**Magnus**

_Are you still there?_  
  
_I wanna scream_  
 _Is this a dream?_  
 _How could this happen,_  
 _Happen to me?_  
 _This isn't fair_  
 _This nightmare_  
 _This kind of torture_  
 _I just can't bear_  
 _I want you here_  
 _I want you here_  
  
_God help me,_  
 _God help me,_  
 _God help me_  
 _Breathe_

_\- Plumb, I want you here_

* * *

**_Saturday, September 8_ **

_1pm_

On September 7, 2012, Alec left and took my heart with him. Max, Rafe and I sat there on that couch, staring at the door through which he’d disappeared. Both my sons were inconsolable for quite some time. I still felt really weak, so I was grateful for Maryse, who finally took all of us out of the Hall of Accords and to the Inquisitor’s house, making sure we ate and slept.

This morning we cremated Robert. It was such a sad thing. His ex-wife, his warlock son-in-law and his two heartbroken grandchildren were the only people attending his funeral. Max didn’t understand it, he cried and called for Alec, which broke my heart again and again. “Daddy, daddy,” he said, over and over. “Daddy isn’t here, Max,” I told him, which only got him more upset.

Rafe bravely repeated Maryse’s words, the Shadowhunters final goodbye to the dead. “Ave atque vale, Robert Lightwood.” ‘Hail and farewell, my brother,’ is what it means.

Now we’re in the progress of packing our meager belongings and going up to the Gard to Portal to New York. Leaving Idris behind, going home. But without Alec, it doesn’t comfort me one bit.

* * *

 

**_Sunday, September 9_ **

_10am_

Yesterday we left Idris and moved into the New York Institute. I wanted to go home, to Brooklyn, but Maryse said it was better to stay in the Institute. Medicine within reach, and of course there’s the Portal in the library, which makes it possible to go to Idris at any given moment. Not that I want to go there. But I do want to be close to that Portal. If Alec comes back from Faerie, he can come here instantly. He can’t Portal to Brooklyn, since there’s no warlock left who’s strong enough to make Portals. So, the Institute it is. Who would have thought that the High Warlock of Brooklyn would ever take up residence in a Shadowhunter’s Institute?

Maryse already had arranged for a room for Max and Rafe. A room they could play in or take naps in on days when she babysat. Most Institute rooms are extremely boring and look like hospital rooms. Every room the same color─white. The same furniture─ugly. The same beds─hard and uncomfortable. Yet the boy’s room is really nice. Adorned with a colorful carpet and green with blue curtains. Posters of various animals on the walls, and tons of toys to play with.

After putting the kids to sleep, Maryse guided me to the room next to theirs. It’s a simple Institute room, but the bed is fine to my surprise. Maryse told me she’ll sleep in the room at the other side of the kids, so she can go to them when they cry. She told me to go to sleep and not to worry. I’m willing to try the former, but the latter is plain impossible.

Not to worry. All I do is worry. Worry for Max. Worry for myself. Most of all I worry for Alec. Will he be okay? Will he come back to me? Will he get wounded? Will he die? Will I?

I remember his words, he told me his soul will find mine in the life after this life. I’m holding on to that.

* * *

 

**_Monday, September 10_ **

_11am_

I managed to play with Rafe a little today. Max was weary and sulky and didn’t want to join. Playing took  a lot of energy, and I slept for hours after that. I wonder if this is how mundanes feel all the time. Getting tired so easily. I have a fever too. Maryse took my temperature, it was a 102, which is bad. My normal body temperature is 98,9. It’s always been that temperature, and nothing ever changed it. I wonder if it’s going to go up and up and up until I explode from the heat.

I realized today that I can’t do magic anymore. I tried replacing a few of Rafe’s building blocks, and nothing happened. No blue sparks, nothing moved. It makes me feel naked somehow.

_5pm_

Max’s sulkiness has turned into an official flu. Or at least, he has the symptoms of flu. He’s feverish and tired. The warlock’s disease has caught up with him finally. And I am so afraid, so afraid.

_11pm_

Maryse has retrieved Chairman Meow from our house in Brooklyn. He seems quite upset. Cats don’t like to be taken out of their habitat. I am glad though, I want him here with me. He reminds me of Alexander.

I miss Alexander. More than anything I miss him. It hurts, a constant nagging feeling in my stomach, and an ache in my chest. The idea that I might die without him here with me, or that he might die in Faerie, chokes me and makes me nauseous. Will I ever see him again?

* * *

**_Tuesday, September 11_ **

_11am_

Tomorrow is Alec’s birthday. He will turn 23. That is, if he’s still alive. I don’t know if he is. I can’t track him, I can’t sense him. It means he’s either still in Faerie, or he’s dead. It physically hurts me, just as everything else physically hurts me.

_4pm_

I’ve tried to perform magic again today, but I couldn’t do anything. Not even the simplest thing as opening the door when Maryse knocked. She told me Max is stable. He sleeps a lot, but at least his fever isn’t as high as it was yesterday. I think that sapphire stone is offering some protection against the King’s curse. That idea comforts me a little. He might live through this. He’s strong, my son.

_10pm_

I’m having a bad day, today. My fever has gone up to 103. My head constantly pounds. I hate it, I hate it so much. Being so weak, so frail. I’m never like that, and I’m so used to taking care of myself. Now I need someone else to take care of me. To cook me dinner, to play with my children. I want to do that myself. I HATE IT! And my poor children miss their father so much. They ask me about him constantly, and all I can say is that daddy’s gone off to fight. A fight from which he might never return. I HATE IT!

* * *

 

**_Wednesday, September 12_ **

_11am_

Alec’s 23 today. And I’m not with him to celebrate, to congratulate him, to kiss him, to hug him. Instead I’m lying in bed. I’ve checked in on Max yesterday evening. Rafe is sleeping with him in his bed. Maryse told me he didn’t want to leave his brother alone. They both slept peacefully, even though Max felt hot to the touch, even to my touch. Maryse says children often get high fevers. I’m sure that’s true, but is it true for warlock children?

She made a cake for Alec’s birthday, to celebrate it with the kids. I can’t believe she did that, not even knowing if there’s anything to celebrate. I admire her for it. She’s being so strong, and such a wonderful grandmother. She even comforts me, telling me she has faith in Alec, in all her children. “They’ll come back,” she said this morning. But I know she can’t guarantee me that.

_11pm_

I’ve just gotten a message from Catarina. She said she won’t live through the next night. She’s with Tessa and Jem, they’ll care for her in her last hours. I can’t believe this is actually happening. Catarina is dying, Tessa is really sick, too. I’m losing heart. Catarina and Tessa are my friends. I can’t lose them. I’ve started praying today, something I haven’t done for centuries. I was brought up a Christian until I was fifteen and got off on my own. I haven’t prayed since, but now I do. I pray for Alec, for Max, for everyone. God, help us.

* * *

 

**_Thursday, September 13_ **

_10am_

The Clave has called for reinforcement. There’s been a huge field battle apparently, and our side has many casualties. We don’t know anything about who lived and died, but they did mention Jace Herondale’s name, and how he’s gone off to a special mission. It gives me a spark of hope. Alec will be where Jace is. I’m sure.

They’re calling every Shadowhunter from the age of 15(!) up to the age of 65 to report in Idris and go to Faerie to fight. It means Maryse has to leave us. I’ve called Maia and she’s coming over with Bat and Maisie, their baby girl. I’m too weak to care for my children alone, and especially Max needs someone to watch over him. His temperature rose again during the night. It was scary high. Maryse sat beside his bed for hours, wetting his forehead with a tepid cloth. At one point during the night, I awoke and sensed something was wrong, so I got myself out of bed and went to sit with her. Rafe was awake as well. He crawled out of his own bed and into my lap and asked me if Max was going to die. I told him I didn’t know. It sort of felt like I was lying. I should’ve said yes, and that I was on my way out too. Then at least Rafe knew what he was in for.

It’s a cruel fate for my son. To gain parents and a brother, only to lose them again a couple of weeks later.

Maryse told me I was right though. I didn’t know, neither did she. Things might still change for the better. If the Shadowhunters in Faerie  manage to kill the king, his curse will be lifted, and both Max and I would live. She has great faith in her sons. “If anyone can do it, it will be Jace and Alec,” is what she said.

_8pm_

Maryse has left and Maia has arrived. Max is doing a little better. He was awake for a few hours. Rafe read him a story. I feel weaker now than this morning. I don’t know if I have strength enough to keep on writing.

Jem send me a fire message today. It said Catarina died during the night. Tessa is still hanging on, but barely. I don’t have the energy to cry, to mourn. I am exhausted.

* * *

 

**_Friday, September 14_ **

_9am_

Max is doing okay. Still feverish, but nothing too bad. Me, on the other hand, I’m too weak to move. Too weak to keep on writing. I don’t know how much time I have left. I feel my life slipping away like sand through my hands. So I’ll leave with this last note:

Alexander, if you ever read this, I want to tell you how sorry I am that I didn’t make it. You have to know I tried, because I love our sons and I love you and I don’t want to leave you. You have to know how much I love you. How insanely lucky I am for having met you. It was such a privilege to love you all these years. Even if I die, my soul won’t die and will always remember you. We’ll be together in some other part of the universe. Our souls will meet again. As they are meant to be together.

I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.


	104. Invincible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: major non-lead character death based on Cassie's foreshadowing in LoS. The quote from LoS in the beginning of this chapter is a big spoiler for those who haven't read LoS. If you don't want to be spoiled: skip the first few lines in italic and start with reading after the horizontal line. The chapter begins with the song 'Invincible' from Ruelle. This song is from the Shadowhunters show, season 1, episode 3.

_ “There’s a sense─a knowing something awful is coming. Like a wall of darkness and blood. A shadow that spreads out over the world and blots out everything.” She swallowed. “There’s more, though. Not so much an image of something happening, but a knowledge.” _

_ “A knowledge of what?” _

_ “That I’m going to die,” Clary said. “Not a long time from now. Soon.” _

\-        Lord of Shadows, p60

* * *

 

_ I see the look in your eyes, _

_ I know you're thirstin' for blood _

_ I feel it stirring inside, _

_ But you got nothing on us _

 

_ You want a war, _

_ You don't know what you're asking for _

 

_ Bring on the fire and bring on the storm _

_ We'll still be here when it's all said and done _

_ Burn down the bridges and tear down the walls _

_ We'll still be standing invincible _

_ Invincible _

\-        Ruelle, Invincible

* * *

 

####  **Alec**

“Happy birthday,” Jace said, when Alec woke up.

“How do you know it’s my birthday?” Alec asked. “We have no idea what day it is.”

“I’m taking an educated guess,” Jace replied.

Alec sat up and looked around. They were in a small open place in the woods. The fire they made was still smoking a bit. After deciding to find the King, they took clothes from dead Unseelie knights, dressed themselves with them and took off. They’d walked for hours, taking a long detour around the army of the enemy.

It was a good call to take Emma and Julian with them. These were familiar grounds for them, they’d been here before when they were on a rescue mission for Kieran. They were great assets. He looked over to where they lay, close together but not touching. He remembered what Magnus had told him about them. Parabatai in love. It was dangerous. Their love increased their power to the point where it would turn them mad. But for now, Alec thought, a little increased power was what they all needed.

“Thank you,” Alec said to Jace. “Did you bring me a present?”

“Isn’t this mission present enough? Fighting the evil forces together?” Jace’s eyes sparkled. “We’ll have a blast today.”

Alec rolled his eyes at his parabatai. “I forgot you’re crazy. Come on, let’s arrange for breakfast and be done with it already.”

He crawled up, grabbed his pack and placed out bread and fruit for them to eat. It wasn’t much of a birthday meal, but it was all they had.

Alec felt weary. The land around them was bleak, and somehow it drained the energy out of him. He wondered what dark magic was at work here, and how much it would influence them once they’d had to fight.

After breakfast they continued their quest. It was dark, the sky was overcast, and there was no telling where they were going, or if they were even on the right track.

Julian and Emma took the lead, but even their knowledge of Faerie was limited. It was like stumbling around in the dark.

Hours of walking were alternated with hours of resting. Time went on without any sense of progress. Alec’s feet ached, his lungs ached, his heart ached. He tried not to think about Magnus or his sons, but without the fight to distract him, his mind constantly wandered there.

How were they doing? Was Maryse taking care of them? Were they still alive?

It was useless to ask these questions, impossible to know the answers. Alec chided himself, sternly telling his brain to think about something else─the task at hand, what they were going to do when, or if, they found the King’s court.

Emma explained to them that the King’s court was not a fortress, but a pavilion. That made it seem easy to Alec to enter it. But there were going to be guards everywhere, heavily armed. Tent or castle, it was going to be extremely dangerous regardless. They had to play their part as Unseelie knights to go past the guards. And once they were inside there was no way to leave again, unnoticed. The more Alec thought about it, the more it appeared a suicide mission to him.

Yet if they did manage to kill the King, it was worth it. It had to be worth it. Magnus would live, Max and Rafe too. And the world would be a safer place for it. There were worse causes to die for.

Lost in thought, Alec bumped into Simon, who was walking in front of him but had come to a sudden stop. Emma, in the front, had crouched down and indicated with her hand for the rest to follow.

She whispered something to Julian, who turned and told them they found what they were looking for. They crawled forward, until they were lying in a copse, hidden from view. Alec saw, between the leaves and bushes, a large open space in front of him. There were several tents standing in a semi-circle around a large, red pavilion. The King’s Court.

The place was filled with Unseelie Faeries. All of them wore the emblem of the King on their chests, a golden crown, broken into three pieces. All of them were armed with spears, and swords were strapped to their sides.

Jace whistled under his breath. “We have to act confident, like we belong here,” he said.

“They will notice immediately, as soon as they see our faces,” Alec replied. “We’ll have to wait until there are fewer people, and make a run for the pavilion. That’s all there is to it.”

“Alec’s right,” Julian said. “They will know. We have to bide our time and go in when they least expect us.”

“They’re not expecting us, are they?” Clary asked.

“No,” replied Julian. “But they’ll catch us when they see us. Let’s hope the sky will darken some more to give us cover.”

Clary sat up and retrieved her stele from her pocket. “I might have a better idea.”

“What are you doing?” asked Isabelle. “You know Runes don’t work here.”

“But mine do,” Clary said. “I tried it out yesterday. Not the ordinary Runes, they don’t work. But I’ve created two new ones that do. Special angelic powers, you know.”

Everyone but Jace stared at Clary in pure amazement. “What do they do?” Simon finally broke the silence.

“One for invisibility, and one for light. Sunlight.” Clary held up her stele. “The sunlight Rune is very powerful. It cuts through everything. It works from a distance. I might be able to hit the King with it through the cloth of the pavilion.”

“But you can’t see through it, and you don’t know where he is,” Isabelle argued. “We need to go inside. What does that invisibility rune do?”

“It makes us invisible, obviously,” Clary said. “It doesn’t work long, especially not here, so if I mark you with it, you have to go instantly. Run through the court and into the pavilion, and hope we won’t get caught.”

“It’s a dangerous game, either way,” said Jace. “This is the best chance we’ve got.”

Clary started applying the Runes. First to Emma and Julian, who took off together after she was done. Simon and Isabelle were next.

Alec felt the stele sizzle against his skin. Black swirls unfolded on his arm and stayed there, indicating that the Rune worked. When Clary was done, he waited until she marked Jace next, and lastly herself. The three of them burst forth out of the bushes and ran to the open place.

They entered the tent and their eyes darted around. The inside seemed far larger than the outside. The roofs, walls and floor consisted of heavy, embroidered carpets. Guards lined against the east and west walls, armed with spears and shields. In the middle of the room stood a large throne and on the throne sat a man.

Alec noticed the man’s face was divided in half. The right side of his face was beautiful, perfect, flawless. His right eye shone with malice. But the left side was inhuman, gray and scarred, instead of an eye it had a black, empty eye socket.

All seven Nephilim stood in a row, staring at the King. He wasn’t looking in their direction, so far they’d gone unnoticed. Instead he looked down on a man standing in front of the throne. 

“What are you to me, Merlon?” he said. “You are my son. Yet I have plenty. Do not tell me how to wage my war. Death and destruction is what I want. A wall of blood and darkness. A time of killing. And in the end, all will bow down before me and acknowledge my might and my glory.”

The invisibility rune on Alec’s forearm burned. He looked down and saw it vanish from his skin. Soon they would be visible for everyone in the room. Clary, standing in the middle, put her stele to the palm of her hand and started to draw.

A loud gasp came from one of the guards when she lifted her hand and a beam of light erupted from it, pointing toward the King. Clary had been right, the Rune was powerful. It reached the King within seconds, and his robe caught on fire. He jumped up from the throne and fixed his eyes on them.

The fire didn’t seem to harm him one bit. His voice thundered through the pavilion. 

“Nephilim! You thought you could come here and defy me?” He started laughing, a loud, roaring laughter.

The fire went up and down his robe, and the cloth seemed to fall apart and turn to ashes. Yet the King himself was unharmed. He held up his hand, and a dagger appeared in it. He threw it through the air toward them. Alec moved fast, trying to block and protect those he loved. But he wasn’t fast enough.

The dagger flipped through the air and landed in Clary’s chest. She staggered back, her mouth forming an ‘o’ in surprise.

“No!” Emma yelled.

Clary fell backward into Jace’s arms, who sunk to the ground with her. Blood ran over her chest, wetting her gear, soaking her instantly. Jace placed a hand on her chest, around the dagger, trying to stop the bleeding. Alec saw the blood spill through his fingers. He was instantly reminded of Julian, days ago, sitting on the dais with his sister’s body in his lap. History repeated itself.

“Grab them!” the King roared, and the guards moved forward.

Emma had pulled Cortana from her back, and ran through the room. Julian yelled her name and rushed after her. She seemed to move with the speed of light, her sword raised above her. Alec stared as she dashed up the stairs of the throne. The King was laughing and flicked a finger. He was going to send her flying, Alec thought. But nothing happened. Emma was unstoppable and seemingly immune to the King’s magic.

For a moment the King’s features changed from triumphant to shocked, and then Emma brought her sword down, and, in one fluent motion, she cut off his head. It rolled down the steps of the throne, and, with an ugly thump, it came to a stop at the end of the stairs. His headless body collapsed back on the throne, and Emma stood high above it, her sword lifted in the air. She was screaming, “Come for me, I will bring you all down! For my father, for my mother. For Clary. For Livvy!”

“Emma!” Julian had reached the stairs and ascended the throne. When he arrived on the top he pulled her in his arms, whispering something in her ear.

Alec reached for his sword. Jace was still on the ground, Simon squatted down beside him. Isabelle was coiling her whip, ready to defend, and Alec followed her movement, raising his sword.

The guards descended upon them. There were too many of them, too many to defeat. Yet Alec would do what it took, even if it cost him his life. He charged, his sword clashing against the spear of the first guard who descended on him.

“Simon, Jace,” Isabelle yelled, while she wrapped her whip around the ankles of a guard.

Julian had let go of Emma and was fighting too, with Merlon, who had stayed silently next to the throne but now climbed up, probably trying to claim it as the new King.

For a few moments it was total mayhem. Alec twirled around with his sword, trying to fend off the guards who kept coming. Isabelle let out a scream. He turned and saw her fall, a spear sticking out of her left arm. A guard loomed over her, his sword ready to give the final blow. Alec sprinted and flipped through the air, kicking at the guard, who staggered back from the impact.

Then another guard jumped him, and Alec fell face forward. He spinned around, onto his back. And the Faerie was on him, his knees pressed against Alec’s chest, pinning him down, and grinning a devilish grin. “Die, Shadowhunter.”

Alec closed his eyes for a second and thought of Magnus then. The King was dead, his magic gone with him. Magnus would live, if he were still alive, he’d live forever now. Alec thought he could die with that knowledge. Knowing Magnus would always remember him and always love him.

The knight lifted his hand, a dagger in it, ready to plunge it down.

“STOP!” A voice thundered through the room with great authority.

The Faerie froze in his movement and stared up. Alec was still pinned down on the floor and couldn’t see what was happening.

“ALL RISE!” the voice sounded again. The next moment the weight of the knight was lifted from Alec’s chest and he was gone.

Alec scrambled to his feet, his eyes searching the room.

Next to the throne stood Mark and Kieran. And in front of them a large man, with a crown on his head. It was the same crown, the emblem of the King. But this crown wasn’t broken, but whole.

“I AM ADAON,” thundered the man. “I will claim my father’s throne, and you will pledge your loyalty to me.”

All the guards rushed back to their places, lining the wall. Alec moved to where his sister was lying, a few feet away from him. She was alive. Her arm bleeding from the wound of the spear, but other than that she seemed uninjured. Julian and Emma had moved down from the throne. Merlon was dead, his lifeless body lying next to his father’s severed head. It was a gruesome picture.

Alec hauled his sister up and they went to stand in front of Simon and Jace, a protective stand. Alec glanced a short glance behind him.

Jace was sitting in a pool of blood, Clary’s body lying motionless in his lap. He was bent over her, and Alec saw his lips move, even though no sound passed them. Simon sat next to him, Clary’s legs stretched out over his. Tears were streaming down his face, telling Alec what he already knew. She wasn’t alive anymore.

He straightened up, and stood beside his sister, staring at Adaon. He couldn’t dwell on Clary’s death now, they were still in the heart of the enemy.

Adaon walked up to the throne, together with Kieran. He handed his father’s lifeless body to his brother, who carried it down and handed it to two guards.

“Take my father and my brother, Merlon,” Adaon ordered. “Prepare them for burial.”

Kieran stood upright, Mark next to him. Emma and Julian stood on the other side of the throne. Emma pale, Cortana still in her hand. Julian looked grim but determined. Hope was visible in his eyes.

“Nephilim,” Adaon said, fixing his gaze on Alec. He was as beautiful as any Faerie. Clear features, high cheekbones and his eyes shone like his father’s one eye had. But Alec didn’t find any malice in them.

Alec inclined his head at him. “King of the Unseelie Realm,” he said. “We want to pledge our allegiance to you.”

Adaon stared at him, long and hard. “We shall have an allegiance. We shall have peace. Many have perished under my father’s cruel rule. He’s turned lands into scarred and empty places without hope. I want to undo my father’s magic.”

He made a wide gesture. The curtain behind him opened, and Alec saw Annabel Blackthorn appear. She wore her hair in elaborate braids, and her dress was white and gold. She didn’t have the Black Volume on her, and she didn’t look tortured anymore. This slight girl, Alec thought, was the one who killed his father. When he looked at her, he couldn’t find it in himself to hate her. She looked so fragile, so vulnerable.

“And to seal our covenant, I will take as my wife Annabel Blackthorn,” continued Adaon. “She will remain with me in this realm. The Black Volume of the Dead will also remain. Sealed and hidden.”

“No,” called out Julian, suddenly. “She killed my sister and I want revenge.”

“Julian,” Alec said, in a steady voice. He walked forward and came to a stand in front of the younger Shadowhunter. “Revenge will not bring her back. Revenge only brings bitterness, and no relief. Ask your parabatai, for she knows this. Annabel was in a state of shock when she killed Livia. Killing her will not solve anything.”

Julian’s eyes flickered, filled with anger. Emma placed a hand on his arm. “Alec is right, Julian. We have to let her go.”

“Does she even want to stay here?” It was Mark who asked that question. It made sense, he was taken to Faerie against his will.

“I do,” Annabel answered with a clear voice. “In Adaon’s arms I have found my solace and my peace.”

Adaon inclined his head to her, and then turned his attention back to Alec. “You will have safe passage back to your lands, and our armies will retreat from the fields of Rowan, where they are currently fighting your people. Go back to Idris, care for your wounded, bury your dead. In two days I will send Mark and Kieran, and a convoy of Faerie, both Seelie and Unseelie, to Idris to sign for peace.”

Alec exhaled. “Mark and Kieran will stay here?”

“They will stay here for two days. After we have signed the peace, they will be free to go. To return to the Wild Hunt, or to remain on earth, or to live in the Unseelie Realm,” said Adaon. “They can choose what they want. This is my rule. I intend to be a fair and just king.”

A guard slammed with a wooden pole three times on the floor of the pavilion. “All hail King Adaon,” he called out.

The room filled with the voices of the Unseelie guards. “All hail King Adaon.”

The king inclined his head once more to Alec, and moved his hand. On Alec’s right side a Portal opened, and Alec saw Angel’s Square on the other end of it. He gestured for Emma and Julian. “You go first.”

Julian hugged his brother tight and stepped with Emma through the Portal.

Isabelle moved next to Simon and hauled him up from the floor. They passed next. Alec placed a hand on Jace’s shoulder. “Jace Herondale,” he said softly, with infinite tenderness. “Entreat me not to leave thee. Come with me, I am your parabatai.”

He helped Jace up, Clary’s body in his arms, and, after a last nod to the king, they stepped through the Portal and landed in Idris.

Jace sunk down on the square, pulling Clary close to him. Alec squatted down in front of him and wrapped his arms around him. Jace’s head rested against his shoulder. Alec sighed and closed his eyes. Realization dawned on him: it was over. The war was over, the King was dead. Yet at what cost?

It was chaos on Angel’s square. A Portal had appeared on Rowan field, and Shadowhunters poured through it into the square. Everywhere Alec looked there were dead and wounded bodies. Simon was applying an  _ iratze _ on Isabelle’s arm. Emma and Julian were doing the same. 

Alec just sat there, his arms around Jace, taking in the devastation, too shocked to move. The only thing he could do was hold on to his parabatai. Hold on tight.


	105. Reunion - Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asjana, this one's for you, I admire your patience!  
> This chapter is called 'Reunion - Alec,' if you remember my chapters from CoHF (that seems ages ago, doesn't it?!) you know this means the next chapter will be called 'Reunion - Magnus' and it will tell the same story from Magnus's POV, because I think that's needed.  
> I want to ask you all if you comment and your comment contains spoilers, to mention that at the top of your comment, ok? It's been brought to my attention that some people read the comments before they read the chapter. Thanks so much.  
> Also, after all the misery, and phew, there was a lot of it, I have to give this chapter a trigger warning too: explicit sexual content. Consider yourself warned ;)  
> And one last thing: I really appreciate your support and reviews, thanks a lot. That means the world to me, I'm serious. This story has become a part of me, and I love Malec so much. I hope that bounces off of every page of this fanfic. And your comments and kudos makes it even better. It feels good to know I'm not just writing this for myself, but you all are enjoying it too. I <3 you.

_**Alec** _

Alec felt a tap on his shoulder and he looked up. His mother was standing over him, looking down on them. Her eyes sad as she saw Clary’s lifeless body in Jace’s arms.

“By the Angel,” she whispered. She squatted down and put an arm around her adoptive son’s shoulders.

“Mom,” Alec said. “What are you doing here?”

“They called me out of New York yesterday,” Maryse replied. “They called for reinforcements. I just arrived from Rowan Field.”

Alec’s mind had been too focused on Jace to think about anything else. But now, upon seeing his mother, all the fear he felt for Magnus came crashing down on him like the tide. “How is Magnus? And the children?” he asked. “You left them alone in the Institute?”

“He was alive when I left,” Maryse said, a frown appeared on her face. “But he wasn’t doing well, Alec. He hasn’t been able to use magic for days. I can’t say how he is now or if he made it. Maia came before I left. She’s taking care of them now.”

“You don’t know if he’s still alive?” His heart was beating hard in his chest. He had to know. Wouldn’t he sense it, if Magnus were dead? He tried to feel something but everything seemed a blur. He couldn’t stand the uncertainty one second longer. His hands were shaking as he took them away from Jace.

“No,” Maryse shook her head. “Many warlocks have died. The High Warlock of Buenos Aires. Catarina Loss.”

His mother’s words didn’t help. The shaking increased, and Alec’s breath came in fits and starts. “Do you have anything on you?” he asked his mother. “So I can send him a fire message?”

Maryse nodded, and she handed him a piece of paper and a stele. Alec started to write as fast as he could.

_ Magnus, it’s done. We just entered Idris from the Unseelie Realm. There are many casualties, it’s been a bloody mess. And Clary. She didn’t make it. She was killed by the Unseelie King. Jace is devastated, we all are. Maryse told me you’re still in the New York Institute with the children. I’m on my way to the Gard to portal there, so I’ll be with you soon. But I had to let you know first that I’m alright, and I pray to the Angel that you’re alright too. Love you, Alec. _

He signed the Rune of fire underneath the message and watched it go up in flames.

The fear threatened to choke him, and to make matters worse, he felt the agonizing pain of his parabatai cut through him like a knife. With Clary gone, Alec felt Jace’s desperation, the hurt was overwhelming, which only added to his own anxiety and exhaustion.

He put the stele to his skin and marked himself with an energy Rune. “I need to go,” he said to his mother. “I have to know if they’re alive.”

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t function like this. He bent down over Jace and pulled him close. “Jace, I will come back as soon as possible.”

Jace didn’t move, but Alec knew he heard him.

“Come back tomorrow,” Maryse said. “It’s midnight in New York. Stay there overnight and return tomorrow. There is still a lot to arrange here. The Cohort, the Cold Peace. Be with your family now, Alec, but we’ll need you, come morning. And Magnus too, if…”

If he’s still alive, Alec silently ended his mother’s sentence for her.

The idea of Magnus being gone made it almost impossible for Alec to breath. He felt that one more minute of uncertainty would make his heart stop beating. He needed to go, needed to know.

He stood up and ran.

At the Gard the Shadowhunter who stood guard drew the Rune for the New York library on the wall of the Portal. Alec saw it shimmer and the library became visible. He saw a tall figure pacing the floor, with black hair standing up in spikes.

_ Magnus. _

Alec’s heart jumped.

He stepped through the Portal and the next moment he was in New York. Magnus was standing there, momentarily frozen upon seeing him, and then they both surged forward and almost crashed against each other.

Magnus was alive!

Alec’s mind and body sang with profound relief. Despite all the horror and all the killing, Alec felt a happiness coming over him as his arms slid around his boyfriend and their mouths met each other in a hard and hungry kiss. Magnus felt strong and vibrant against him, nothing like the weak warlock he left behind a week ago. His arms came up behind him and pressed him even closer, their bodies aligned.

They stood like that, in the middle of the library, clinging to each other, kissing each other for a long time.

Alec pulled away finally and touched his boyfriend’s cheek. He felt tears prick in his eyes as he stared into Magnus’s face, still hardly believing he was standing in front of him, looking more than alive. “You’re alright? I can hardly believe it. I thought I lost you.”

“I’m alright,” Magnus replied, staring back at him. “And you’re alright.”

“I heard of so many warlocks who died. Catarina. Lisa Bosque. I can’t believe it,” Alec said.

“Me neither,” Magnus replied. His hand stroked Alec’s cheek and then he pulled him close once more. “You’re really here.”

“I’m here. And I’m going to stay here, with you.” Alec said. He closed his eyes, burying his head in the crook of Magnus’s neck and inhaled his scent. “And the children, are they okay?”

“They’re asleep in their room,” Magnus said. “I was scared for Max for a while there, he seemed so sick. But we both felt it, the moment the King perished. His magic left this world with him, and our curse was lifted. Max woke up when I entered the room to check on them. He was looking at me, and Rafe, lying in the bed next to him, and he smiled. ‘I’m better now,’ he said. I had to force him to stay in bed. He wanted to get up to play.”

Alec lifted his head and smiled. “I’m glad they’re both alright. And you.”

He placed both his hands on Magnus’s face, his thumbs rubbing over his cheekbones. He needed to feel him, needed to know that he was really there. “And you,” he repeated.

He looked into his boyfriend’s eyes and saw in them the love for him. And there was something else there too, an urgent yearning. Alec recognized that look, for it reflected the feelings in his own heart. After a week of being utterly afraid, the amazing feeling of having Magnus back in his arms made the longing for him rush through his veins like fire.

Magnus’s hand moved to Alec’s neck and he locked his mouth with his own. Alec kissed him back, hard and determined. Their bodies pressed close, he felt Magnus’s erection through his pajama bottoms, and almost lost his mind with want. He started walking Magnus backwards, until his boyfriend was pressed against the marble table. He kissed him then, his mouth, his jaw. His lips close to Magnus’s ear as he whispered, “I longed for you. I longed for you so much. I love you so much. I need you. I want you.”

“Me too, Alexander.” Magnus’s voice sounded low. “Me too.”

Upon hearing those words, Alec couldn’t hold back any longer. There was this urge, this primal urge that made him move so fast, he could hardly register it. Magnus’s pajama bottoms were gone, and he shoved down his own pants next. Then his hand reached for Magnus’s cock and he wrapped his fingers around him. Magnus gasped against him.

Alec flipped Magnus around, his fingers moving over his length while his other hand slid between Magnus’s butt cheeks. Impatiently he reached with his fingers inside of his boyfriend, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to be there, bury himself deep inside of Magnus. It was the only way of really knowing that they were okay and together again.

“Magnus,” he moaned. “By the Angel, Magnus. I need you. I need to be inside of you.”

“Then go,” Magnus gasped.

Alec kept moving his hand over Magnus’s length, and with his other hand he moved his cock to Magnus’s entrance. He pressed forward and let out a strangled cry when Magnus’s heat overwhelmed him. He moved all the way inside of him, pressing their bodies close.

“Alexander,” Magnus moaned.

Alec couldn’t hold back. He needed this, needed to feel Magnus all around him, all encompassing. Things in this world would never be okay, death and destruction were everywhere around him. But for now he could forget that. He could be with Magnus and know that he could love and be loved.

So Alec moved, slamming hard into his boyfriend. His hand kept moving fast over Magnus’s cock, and it didn’t take long before he felt him shudder and come in his hand. Magnus’s release dripping over his fingers and on the library floor. Alec let go of him and dug both his hands into Magnus’s hips, thrusting hard and deep. Within seconds he felt himself explode, his body shuddering as he came.

He squeezed his eyes shut, appreciating the little stars bursting in his vision. His hands moved from Magnus’s hips to his chest and he pulled him up and against him. He noticed Magnus flick his finger, and the next moment their remaining clothes fell away and Alec felt his boyfriend’s bare back pressed against his chest.

“You have magic,” Alec whispered.

“So it seems,” Magnus replied. Alec heard the smile in his voice.

“It’s only fitting, since you’re magical,” he said.

With Magnus pressed against him, Alec stayed standing, remaining inside of Magnus. He moved his leg, but then Magnus’s hand was on his hip. “Don’t go,” he said. “Stay in me.”

Alec closed his eyes and pressed his lips on Magnus’s back. His boyfriend felt energetic under his touch. “Yes,” he said.

“I just don’t want you to leave me ever again,” Magnus explained.

“I won’t.”

Magnus’s closeness made the flutters grow inside of him. Despite the fact that he had only just came, Alec felt the longing was still there, even stronger than before. He moved his hips, his cock moved inside of Magnus. Magnus gasped, which made Alec want him even more. He repeated the motion and moaned softly.

“You make me crazy,” he said against Magnus’s back. “I want you still. Even more now than a minute ago.”

“Take me then,” Magnus said. “I’m yours.”

“As I am yours,” Alec replied. “Body, heart and soul.”

He moved again and groaned. “Ah, Magnus.”

It felt like cool rain after a day in the desert, this feeling of bliss after all the misery of the last few days. His cock hardened with every thrust. Every time the feelings intensified and the gloom was sliding further and further away. He moved slowly, but deliberately, and knew how to thrust in such a way that Magnus would float.

“Yes,” Magnus urged him on, telling him he did it just right. “There, Alexander. There. Go.”

Alec moved his hands over Magnus’s chest and abdomen and rested them once more on his hips. With every thrust he went just a little faster. Magnus moaned softly and leaned forward, his hands on the marble table.

Alec stared at him, his beautiful scarless back, his black hair, his small waist. He couldn’t comprehend that he was with him again, that he was inside of him and making him moan underneath him. A burst of love for the warlock made him push a little harder, eliciting an even louder moan from him.

“Magnus,” he panted. “Magnus. I love you so much. I need you. I want you. Magnus.”

“Yeah baby,” Magnus replied. “I’m here, we’re here.”

Alec felt Magnus’s hand on his hip, urging him on. And he moved, faster now and deeper. Every thrust building up the tension in his belly.

Magnus shuddered beneath him and leaned further forward, his head resting on his arms on the table, making the access even better for Alec. He went deep now, his fingers digging into Magnus’s skin.

He heard his boyfriend’s voice, sounding muffled against his own arms. “Alexander, Alexander. God, I love you. I…”

Alec angled his hips, and thrust forward. Magnus’s shuddering grew more intense, and Alec knew he was slowly but unavoidably leading his boyfriend to an orgasm. Once more he sped up the movement, rocking into him hard. He whimpered and called out Magnus’s name. The tension in his belly grew and grew and was soon going to explode more violently than ever. Magnus was shaking underneath him, and suddenly cried out his name. “Alexander!”

It was enough for Alec to explode for a second time, more intense and more extreme than the first time. His body crashed against his boyfriends and he shuddered and shook, emptying himself inside of Magnus for a second time.

Magnus whimpered softly. Alec moved his hands to Magnus’s chest and pulled him up against him. His softening cock slid out of Magnus at the movement, and the warlock turned in his arms, wrapping his own arms around Alec.

Alec buried his face in Magnus’s neck and pressed his lips against his skin. “I have you back.”

“Yeah,” Magnus replied, sounding happy and a little mischievous. “In this important library, on the desk even. You’re so depraved. I love it.”

Alec smiled, thinking back at the other times they had had sex in the library. He looked into Magnus’s eyes. “You know I promised you I would always take you here, to prove my love for you.”

“You don’t have to prove it, I know it,” Magnus replied.

Alec smiled again, resting his head on Magnus’s shoulder.

“Are you tired?” Magnus whispered.

“I’m officially beat,” Alec said. “I don’t think I slept for the last twenty-four hours or so. Energy runes can only do so much for you.”

“Let’s go sleep,” Magnus said. He attempted to wipe the floor clean with his boxer shorts. “I think we should hire a cleaning lady before your mother comes home.”

“Why?” Alec inquired. “I thought you had your magic back. You do it.”

He pulled Magnus with him toward the hall. “But not now. Now we’ll sleep. I’m sure the kids will wake us up soon enough tomorrow morning.”

Magnus brought him to the room where he had slept this last week. “The children are in the next room,” he said.

“I’m going to check on them,” Alec said, putting on some pajama bottoms. He carefully opened the door to the children’s room and entered it.

Rafe and Max lay together in one bed. Rafe had an arm protectively wrapped around his little brother. Alec felt his heart stutter in his chest upon seeing his children. He bend down over them and pressed a kiss on their foreheads, gently touching their hair. “My children,” he whispered, so soft, they wouldn’t wake from it. “I love you both so much.”

He stood up and turned, seeing Magnus leaning against the doorway, looking incredibly beautiful. His eyes shining as he looked at him, his lips curled up in a smile. Alec still felt as if he had to pinch his arm to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He walked out of the bedroom, wrapped a hand around his boyfriend’s arm and pulled him into their own room.

Once inside their room Magnus undressed him again, pulled him with him in bed, and wrapped his naked body around Alec’s. “No clothes,” he said. “I want to feel you.”

Alec pressed his head against Magnus’s chest and closed his eyes. He was home.


	106. Reunion - Magnus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's their reunion from Magnus's POV. In this chapter, too, there's smutty content. Just so you know ;)  
> Then something else: Saturday the 22nd I'm leaving for a three week holiday. That means no updates for a few weeks. To make up for that I'll upload a few extra chapters this week, okay?

_**Magnus** _

Magnus opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling of his bedroom. He felt a snap, something changed inside of him, a profound change. It was as if the atoms and cells in his body suddenly fell back into their rightful place.

He sat up and looked around. The curtains were closed, it looked like it was about nine in the evening, it was still light outside, although the sun was about to set. He closed his eyes for a second and registered a familiar drizzle of energy rush through his body. His own kinetic energy.

It didn’t take him long to understand what it meant. The King was dead, the curse lifted. And Magnus was himself again. No need for recovery, no need for medicine, but back to his old self with the snap of a finger.

He hurried out of bed and rushed to the room next door. Rafe was asleep, but upon entering the room, Max moved and sat upright. His eyes open, they were shining navy blue, like they used to do, and fixed on him. “Papa! I’m better now.”

He smiled a wide, gap-toothed smile at Magnus and moved to get out of the bed. Magnus rushed forward and wrapped his arms around his son. “You are,” he said. “You’re better!”

In reply, Max placed his hands around Magnus’s neck and pressed his little body against Magnus. They sat like that, on the bed, for a little while, until Max started to squirm in Magnus’s arms.

“Max wanna play,” he said.

Magnus shook his head. “It’s the middle of the night. Max needs to sleep,” he told him. “We’ll play tomorrow, okay. With Rafe.”

Max scrunched up his nose, not completely happy with Magnus’s proposition. “I’ll tell you what,” Magnus compromised. “I’ll read you a story, okay. And when it’s done we’re going back to bed.”

“You too?” Max asked.

“Of course,” Magnus replied. He picked up his son and settled down in the big armchair in the corner of the room. Next to the chair stood a table with an array of books on it. Magnus took the book on top of the pile. It was about a bunny rabbit who dug a hole in a dike. Magnus read the book to Max, adding funny voices and wide gestures to spice up the story. Max giggled in his lap.

When he finished the book, they read another one, but after that Magnus insisted that Max would go back to bed. Reluctantly his son obeyed. He snuggled close to Rafe, who moved in his sleep and placed an arm around him. Magnus smiled down at them, feeling relieved, for his sons were safe.

That feeling didn’t last. As soon as he was out of the door he sensed a profound worry. He didn’t know if Alec was okay. He didn’t know if he made it.

In the hall he bumped into Maia. She was surprised to see him out and about, so he quickly explained about the death of the King. She hugged him. “I’m sure Alec will come back soon,” she said. “Now that you’re better, I should go home. Maisie sleeps better in her own house.”

“Of course,” Magnus replied. “Thanks so much for your help, Maia.”

After Maia left Magnus walked to the library. He sat down in the large chair behind the marble desk and stared into the distance.

_ Alexander. _

His heart beat the rhythm of his name. He couldn’t think about anything else but Alec. Was he okay? Was he alive?

It was close to midnight when a flash lit up in front of him, and a fire message appeared on the desk. He grabbed the piece of paper with shaking hands and opened it. His eyes flew over the words.

_ Magnus, it’s done. We just entered Idris from the Unseelie Realm. There are many casualties, it’s been a bloody mess. And Clary. She didn’t make it. She was killed by the Unseelie King. Jace is devastated, we all are. Maryse told me you’re still in the New York Institute with the children. I’m on my way to the Gard to portal there, so I’ll be with you soon. But I had to let you know first that I’m alright, and I pray to the Angel that you’re alright too. Love you, Alec. _

Magnus stared at the fire message, his eyes filled with tears. Alec was alive and on his way to him. He hadn’t known until now that he was safe, and it filled him with incredible gratitude to whatever fortune had saved Alec for him.

But Clary… His feisty, red haired little biscuit. She was gone. He couldn’t comprehend it. He’d known her since she was a baby. He knew she took mad risks, and someplace deep down inside of him was always worried for her. And now she paid the price for it, with her life.

Jace would never be okay again, Magnus thought, and neither would Simon, her parabatai. It was a hard fate. A life of scars and killing, the life of a Shadowhunter. Magnus paced the floor of the library, wiping at his eyes. It still felt unreal to him, but Alec’s words didn’t leave room for hoping it will turn out okay. She would never come back.

Magnus sat down again in the large chair behind the marble desk. Despite the devastating news, Magnus couldn’t help but feel relieved too. Alec was alive and on his way. The darkness had receded, he felt more alive than he had felt in weeks. The magic of the Unseelie Court was broken. The King was defeated. It meant Magnus would live, and Max too. He felt a huge relief because of it, especially for Max. He deserved a life, he was only three years old, his future still ahead of him.

He’d felt relief for himself too, but now, only now that he knew Alec was alive, he could really appreciate it. Living without Alec seemed to be more and more impossible as time went by. Magnus thought about his father’s proposal. For Alec to become immortal and stay with him forever. He didn’t want to burden Alec with immortality, for it was a burden. But on the other end he wasn’t ready to lose him, not now, not ever.

He sighed, resting his head in his hands for a while. He’d been living with his children in the Institute for awhile now, together with Maryse, who only yesterday went back to Idris. The Institute was the safest place for them, for all three of them. There was access to medicine Magnus had needed, both for himself and for Max. And surprisingly he felt at home here. Who would’ve thought that he, Magnus Bane, would ever feel at home in a Shadowhunter’s Institute.

He stared down at the marble desk, thinking about Alec. He longed for Alec, yearned for him after a week of living in constant fear for him. He couldn’t lose him, he wasn’t ready to take on life without him. And he wished Alec would hurry up and portal here already. Of course Alec had his parabatai to deal with. Jace would need him, so Alec would probably make sure he was alright before he left.

Maybe, Magnus thought, it would have been better if he went to Idris with the kids instead. But Alec was already on his way, and the idea of being alone with him, instead of surrounded by grieving Shadowhunters, was appealing to Magnus.

He stood up from the chair and started pacing again. A shimmering appeared in the corner of the library and his head shot up. The next moment Alec was there. His clothes were torn and filthy, his hair disheveled, and he looked exhausted. But his eyes were shining when he saw him, and his whole face lit up with a smile.

Magnus surged forward and Alec met him halfway, crashing into him. Their lips met and they kissed a desperate kiss. A kiss that made up for all the kisses they missed over the last week. Alec’s arms came around him and pulled him closer. Their lips parted and their tongues met. Magnus let himself drown in Alec. His heart slamming hard in his chest. 

He was here! Alec was here! 

Safe and in his arms once again, where he belonged.

They stood like that, drunk on kissing each other, for a long time, before Alec pulled away. His hand touched Magnus’s face. “You’re alright?” His voice shook. “I can hardly believe it. I thought I lost you.”

“I’m alright,” Magnus replied, staring down in Alec’s face. “And you’re alright.”

Alec shook his head in disbelief. “I heard of so many warlocks who died. Catarina. Lisa Bosque. I can’t believe it.”

“Me neither,” Magnus said, as he stroked over Alec’s cheek. He pulled him in a hug and pressed their bodies tightly against each other. Alec was here, it felt more like magic than anything Magnus could do.

“You’re really here.” His voice sounded muffled against Alec’s hair.

“I’m here. And I’m going to stay here, with you.” Alec said. “And the children, are they okay?”

“They’re asleep in their room.”

Rafe had refused to sleep in his own bed tonight. He wanted to be with Max, so Magnus had let him.

“I was scared for Max for a while there, he seemed so sick. But we both felt it, the moment the King perished. His magic left this world with him, and our curse was lifted,” Magnus explained to Alec. 

“Max woke up when I entered the room to check on them, looking at me and Rafe, lying in the bed next to him, and he smiled. ‘I’m better now,’ he said. I had to force him to stay in bed. He wanted to get up to play.”

Alec smiled softly. “I’m glad they’re both alright. And you.”

Alec’s hands came up and cupped Magnus’s face, his thumbs brushing over his skin. “And you,” he repeated, still a note of disbelief in his voice.

He stared into Magnus’s eyes, and Magnus felt the longing flare up an inferno inside of him. He wanted Alec, wanted him more than anything, now that he was back and the terrible ordeal was over. His hand moved from Alec’s cheek around his neck, and once more their mouths crashed into each other.

Alec kissed Magnus back with an urgency which told him Alec felt it too. The gratitude, and the longing. Most of all the longing. Alec pushed Magnus backwards until his legs were pressed against the marble table. His lips left Magnus’s and trailed a pattern over his jaw to his ear. 

“I longed for you,” his voice was a hoarse whisper. “I longed for you so much. I love you so much. I need you. I want you.”

Magnus’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing those words. “Me too, Alexander. Me too.”

Alec’s hands moved down to Magnus’s pajama bottoms and he shoved them down over Magnus’s legs. He repeated the movement with his own torn and filthy pants, and the next thing Magnus knew was Alec’s hand wrapped around his hardened cock. He gasped at the touch.

Alec flipped him around, and Magnus rested his hands on the marble desk while he squeezed his eyes shut. Alec’s hand moved over his length while his other hand slid between his butt cheeks and entered him. Alec’s body, still mostly clad in gear, was pressed against him, while his fingers invaded him, deep.

“Magnus.” his voice was so low and urgent. “By the Angel, Magnus. I need you. I need to be inside of you.”

“Then go,” Magnus gasped, wanting it more than anything he ever wanted. His breathing was speeding up. Alec’s hand moved over him with firm strokes, he felt his cock tremble with want at Alec’s touch.

His other hand left him, and then Alec’s cock pressed against him. Alec cried out and shoved forward, all the way inside. Magnus gasped loudly at the feeling of being filled. “Alexander,” he moaned.

Alec moved, rocked into him, slamming hard. His cock touching Magnus deep within. All he felt was Alec around him. Alec was here! Alec was with him. Alec was in him, where he wanted him to be. He exploded from the inside out at Alec’s touch. After a week without him, and a longing so strong, Magnus couldn’t drag it out. He came in Alec’s hand, his release dripping on the hardwood floor of the library beneath him. Alec thrust again, deep, and with a loud moan he shot his release in Magnus.

Magnus was breathing hard, leaning on his hands heavily. Alec’s hands moved from his hips to his chest and he pulled him up, flush against him. It frustrated Magnus that there were still so many clothes between them. Impatiently he flicked his fingers, forgetting that he had lost the ability to perform magic.

Yet at the flick of his finger their clothes fell away, and he felt Alec’s bare chest pressed against his back. 

“You have magic,” Alec whispered.

“So it seems,” Magnus replied, smiling.

“It’s only fitting, since you’re magical.”

Alec was still inside of him, pressing him close, and he moved a bit. For a moment Magnus thought he was going to leave him, and he didn’t want that. He wanted Alec to stay where he was. “Don’t go,” he said. “Stay in me.”

Alec pressed his lips between Magnus’s shoulder blades. “Yes,” he said.

“I just don’t want you to leave me ever again,” Magnus explained.

“I won’t.”

Alec rolled his hips, and Magnus felt his semi-hard cock inside of him. It made him gasp, and the flutters that were still there, started to flare up again. Alec repeated the motion and moaned softly.

“You make me crazy,” he said against Magnus’s back. “I want you still. Even more now than a minute ago.”

“Take me then,” Magnus said. “I’m yours.”

“As I am yours,” Alec replied. “Body, heart and soul.”

He moved again and groaned. “Ah, Magnus.”

Magnus felt Alec’s cock harden inside of him with every slow thrust. His own cock did the same, trembling with the soft impact Alec’s thrusts made. Inside of him, Alec’s touch hit the right spot, over and over again as he moved into him. “Yes,” Magnus moaned. “There, Alexander. There. Go.”

Alec’s hands slid down from his chest to his hips, to steady himself, as he sped up the pace. Magnus had no choice but to rest his hands on the marble again, as he was unable to hold himself up. Part of him still couldn’t comprehend that Alec was safe with him again. That he was safe himself. That their children were safe. It all felt too good to be true.

But Alec’s touch inside of him proved  the truth of it. His yearning for him, his love for him, growing with every second, so it seemed. Alec pushed a little harder now, moaning as he went. 

“Magnus,” he panted. “Magnus. I love you so much. I need you. I want you. Magnus.”

“Yeah baby,” Magnus replied, heavily breathing now. “I’m here, we’re here.”

He moved a hand backwards and placed it on Alec’s hip, encouraging him to move a little faster. His thrusts came deeper, hitting a million spots inside of Magnus, making him float. He bent down further, resting his head on his hands, to make the access easier for Alec. So he could thrust deeper.

His body was shuddering from the impact. Alec’s cock moving deep inside of him now, each new thrust a little faster, a little harder. Magnus squeezed his eyes, his forehead leaning hard on his arms. The cold marble beneath him slowly warming up to his body heat. He moaned, murmuring Alec’s name like a litany. “Alexander, Alexander. God, I love you. I…”

At one point he lost the ability to speak, to form words. Slowly he was ascending. Everything fell away from him but Alec. Alec’s touch, so deep, so incredibly wonderful to feel him inside of him. He started to tremble heavily as Alec moved inside of him again. He was close to coming now, every movement of his fiancé bringing him a little nearer to heaven. He could see it behind his closed eyelids. The vibrant colors of heaven. The music of a thousand harps wafting toward him. The feeling continued with every thrust. He was coming, excruciatingly slow, but all the more intense because of it.

Alec rocked into him, again and again, really hard now. He whimpered Magnus’s name as he moved. And the tight coiling in Magnus’s belly blew up when Alec touched that bundle of nerves inside him again. He felt his cock shudder and his release left him violently, once more dripping on the hardwood floor. He cried out. “Alexander!”

And Alec followed him, emptying himself inside of Magnus for a second time. His hands digging deep into the skin of Magnus’s thighs as he crashed against him. He shuddered, pulling Magnus’s body to his own, wanting to be closer still.

Magnus whimpered softly, and tried to get up, to feel more of Alec. Alec’s hands moved to his front and pulled him up. This time the movement made Alec slide out of Magnus. It had to happen some time, although Magnus regretted it. He turned around and wrapped himself around the Shadowhunter.

Alec buried his face in Magnus’s neck. He felt his lips on him. “I have you back,” Alec mumbled.

“Yeah,” Magnus replied, a twinkle in his voice. “In this important library, on the desk even. You’re so depraved. I love it.”

Alec lifted his head and looked into Magnus’s eyes. “You know I promised you I would always take you here, to prove my love for you.”

Magnus looked back, enjoying the beautiful blue of Alec’s eyes, feeling an infinite tenderness for him unfolding in his chest. “You don’t have to prove it, I know it.”

Alec smiled and rested his head on Magnus’s shoulder.

“Are you tired?” Magnus whispered.

“I’m officially beat,” Alec said. “I don’t think I slept for the last twenty-four hours or so. Energy runes can only do so much for you.”

“Let’s go sleep,” Magnus said. He bent down and took their scattered clothes from the floor. With his boxers he attempted to wipe the floor clean. “I think we should hire a cleaning lady before your mother comes home.”

“Why?” Alec inquired. “I thought you had your magic back. You do it.”

He grabbed Magnus’s hand and pulled him to the hall. “But not now. Now we’ll sleep. I’m sure the kids will wake us up soon enough tomorrow morning.”

They entered the room adjacent to the children’s room. Alec put on some pajamas before going to check on them. Magnus followed him and leaned against the doorway, regarding his boyfriend. He bent down over the bed where Max and Rafe lay, close together. Magnus saw him kiss their foreheads and touch their hair, ever so tenderly. A memory surfaced from not so long ago. Maryse, doing the exact same thing, a tender movement only a grandmother could make. Alec was his mother’s son after all, Magnus thought.

Alec got up and walked out of the bedroom, taking Magnus with him. Inside their own room Magnus undressed them both and pulled Alec with him in bed. He wrapped his naked body around Alec’s.

“No clothes,” he mumbled, “I want to feel you.”

Magnus closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Alec’s head pressed against his chest.

Tomorrow they had to go back to Idris, probably. Tomorrow they had to face the world again. Clary’s death, her funeral. A new Clave meeting. A new law to come after the end of the Cold Peace. Tomorrow loomed over Magnus, a bleak prospect.

Yet, with Alec at his side, he knew he could face it. He could face anything.


	107. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for smutty smutty content, again! Sorry not sorry...

**_Alec_ **

_I'm breathing in_  
_And breaking down_  
_I feel my time is running out_  
_The fire in my heart will burn me to the ground_  
  
_I did my part_  
_I tried my best_  
_The things I'm fighting to protect_  
_Always shatter into pieces in the end_  
  
_I'm broken and I'm barely breathing_  
_I'm falling cause my heart stopped beating_  
_If this is how it all goes down tonight_  
_If this is how you bring me back to life_  
_This is what it's like when we collide_  
_If this is how you bring me back to life_

  * Extreme Music, _Bring Me Back To Life_



* * *

_A wall of blood and darkness descends on me. I feel the weight of it crushing me down. A knife flies through the air, and I hear the cold laughter of the King._

_“You stupid Nephilim!” the King’s voice roars through the pavilion. “You think you can stand against me?”_

_The knife lands with a thud in Clary’s chest. Blood spills over her gear, dripping on the floor. Her body folds in on itself and she falls._

_Jace’s cry cuts through the air, and it is all I can hear. A howling, an agonizing scream that seems to continue forever. I feel my parabatai’s despair cut through my own chest. The aching deeper than anything I’ve ever felt._

_Magnus…_

_This is how it will feel if I lose him._

_This pain. This unbearable pain. It is blinding my vision and I’m gasping for air._

_“Magnus!” I cry out as my legs start to buckle and I sink to my knees_

* * *

 

“Alec. Alexander, honey, wake up,” Magnus’s voice entered Alec’s brain, and he felt his boyfriend’s hand on his shoulder.

His eyes fluttered open. Magnus’s face appeared in his vision, his eyes dark with worry.

“Alexander,” he said again. “You were having a nightmare.”

Alec shuddered as he remembered the dream. “Magnus,” he muttered.

“I’m here, I’m right here,” Magnus said, and he pulled him to his chest.

Alec sighed, his body sagging against Magnus’s. “She’s dead, Magnus. Clary, she’s dead. And I felt Jace’s pain as real as if it were my own. It was agonizing.”

“I know,” Magnus whispered in his hair. “I know.”

“This is how it would feel if I ever lost you,” Alec mumbled. “It’s unbearable.”

“But you won’t lose me,” Magnus said, stroking with his hand over Alec’s back.

Alec nuzzled a little closer to him and pressed his lips against Magnus’s clavicle. “One day, though,” he murmured against Magnus’s skin. “One day I’ll have to leave you behind. I’ll go where you can’t follow.”

“Yeah.” Magnus sounded far away, as if his mind was occupied. Alec felt him move, and he shifted Alec’s body, so he was lying half on top of him.

“But not now. No use in thinking about that now,” Magnus said. “Remember how you told me to live in the now. Don’t worry about tomorrow, honey.”

Alec shivered, not from the cold, but from the lingering panic the dream had brought him. “Shh,” Magnus whispered. “I’ll make you forget.”

His strong hands lifted Alec up, and the next moment Alec felt Magnus’s lips pressed against his. He squeezed his eyes shut and let himself drown in his boyfriend. He wouldn’t leave him just yet, he could enjoy being with him for now.

Magnus parted his lips with his own, and his tongue entered Alec’s mouth. He felt him, warm and wet, as he stroked over his teeth, his palate and twirled around Alec’s tongue. The feelings the kiss brought him rushed through his body. Magnus’s touch made him long for more. He moved his body against Magnus’s, feeling every inch of him.

One of his hands slid down over Magnus’s arm to his bare waist and from there to his hip. Fingers brushing over the smooth and warm skin. Magnus moved his mouth against Alec’s, and his hands slid around his back. He moved them over Alec’s spine and down over his butt, pressing his fingers into Alec’s skin. Alec moaned softly.

“Let me love you,” Magnus whispered against Alec’s mouth. Alec hummed in agreement.

In reply Magnus moved from under him, so he landed on his stomach on the bed. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the pillow, as he felt Magnus’s hands on his back. Magnus bent forward and pressed his lips against Alec’s neck, just below his ear. He trailed a line of kisses from his ear to his shoulder, and down over his back.

Alec felt Magnus’s tongue darting out of his mouth, as he kissed and licked Alec’s back, between his shoulder blades, over his spine, all the way down to his butt. He sighed as he felt Magnus’s lips on him, his tongue sliding through his butt cheeks, one hand on each cheek, Magnus was pressing down on him. He spread his legs a little, feeling Magnus shift his body between his legs. His tongue was still in between Alec’s cheeks and he felt him lick the sensitive skin around his anus. He moaned at the touch. Magnus’s tongue probed and entered him, making him moan a little louder.

His boyfriend’s lips and hands on him moved the dread and fear he’d felt to the back of his head. The feeling of agonizing pain slowly receded, and Alec lost himself in Magnus’s touch.

Magnus’s tongue left him and his mouth traveled further down, kissing his balls. His lips on him made Alec’s skin tingle, the hairs on his neck standing up, and he felt goose bumps all over his skin. Magnus’s hand moved between Alec’s butt cheeks and Alec felt a finger entering him and massaging him. He bucked up his hips, meeting Magnus’s touch.

“You want more?” Magnus asked in a low voice.

Alec nodded into the pillow. “Yes,” he moaned.

Magnus’s finger left him and so did his mouth. Alec whimpered at the loss. “Magnus.”

“Yeah, baby,” Magnus replied. His hand rested on Alec’s butt, but he didn’t move, making Alec crazy.

“Magnus, please,” he said, a little louder now.

He gasped as he felt Magnus’s fingers entering him again, he moved deep inside of him. “You want it like this?” Magnus asked.

“Yes, yes,” Alec replied.

Magnus moved his fingers, massaging Alec’s walls, making him explode with want. He touched him deep, hitting the bundle of nerves inside of him with his fingertips. Alec squirmed underneath him. His cock trembled against the mattress, and for a second he thought he was going to come from Magnus’s fingers alone.

But then Magnus moved them out of him once more, leaving him without. He whimpered. “Magnus. Please.”

Magnus chuckled softly above him. “I want it to be magical,” he said.

“Touch me, Magnus,” Alec replied, impatiently. “I can’t go without your touch.”

“You want it?” Magnus said again.

Alec moved up his hips, his body searching for Magnus. He felt him, sitting between his legs, but he didn’t move to touch him. “I want it,” he moaned. He couldn’t think about anything else anymore, nor feel anything but the longing.

“You look so beautiful like this, you know,” Magnus said.

Alec felt he was bursting, his heart slamming in his chest. His cock was trembling, and he moved his abdomen, creating a friction between him and the bed.

“Hey, hey,” Magnus chided him. “Don’t cheat. I want to do it.”

“Then do it,” Alec breathed. “Please.”

Magnus grabbed his side then and turned him around. Alec looked up at his boyfriend who smiled down on him. "Please," he whispered once more.

Magnus nodded, trailing his fingers over Alec's length, down over his balls and inside him again. In a smooth motion he moved them deep down, touching Alec there where he wanted to be touched. He cried out in pleasure. Magnus moved his fingers, massaging him, making him squirm and whimper beneath him.

“Magnus,” he moaned again, looking up at him. “Fuck me. Please, fuck me.”

He was begging for more of Magnus’s touch, going crazy with want. His whole body ached and cried out for release.

Magnus’s hand left him again. “Please, fuck me,” Alec repeated.

Magnus moved over him, pressing his large cock against Alec’s entrance. Alec moaned loudly, only at the feeling of Magnus’s tip against him. Magnus moved away again, but now Alec slashed out his arm, moving up, he grasped Magnus’s hip.

“Don’t you dare move away from me,” he growled. “I need you inside of me now. NOW!”

“Okay, okay,” Magnus chuckled. “No need to threaten me.”

“I will threaten you,” Alec said, his voice rough. “I will pound on you if you don’t fuck me now.”

Magnus’s cock was back against Alec’s entrance, and now, finally, he moved forward, entering him. Alec gasped loudly at the feeling of being filled completely. Magnus’s cock touched the bundle of nerves inside of him and he cried out again. Everything seemed to explode in front of him.

Magnus looked down on him, his eyes shining, his lips slightly parted, he moved forward and kissed Alec on the lips before he started to thrust. He moved in and out of him fast, and almost instantly Alec was overtaken by an orgasm that took him away to heaven and lasted and lasted until he thought he would fall apart and never be put back together again. The buildup Magnus had created magnified the result. Magnus’s cock inside of him kept touching him and with every thrust his orgasm grew more intense. He felt his release wetting his abdomen, but he barely registered it, as he kept soaring.

Magnus started moaning too, and sped up his rhythm. Alec was still coming, an orgasm without end, as Magnus moved, thrusting hard. Every nerve in Alec’s body was on edge. He felt it from his head to his toes as his boyfriend rocked into him over and over again. When Alec finally got the idea he was descending from his high, Magnus cried out and shot his release in him. He rocked a few times more, and then pulled back.

“No,” Alec groaned. “Don’t go.”

Magnus stayed on top of him, moving so that he was lying flat against him, his chest pressed against Alec.

“By the Angel,” Alec mumbled. “You horrible warlock. Seriously, if you ever do that again, I’m going to take revenge. I swear.”

Magnus laughed as he lifted his head and kissed Alec gently on his lips. “Okay,” he said. “I’d like to see you try.”

He moved and slid out of him, turning on his side. Slowly his hand trailed over Alec’s stomach and chest. Alec looked at him. “I love you,” he whispered.

Magnus smiled, the most beautiful smile that lit up his face. Alec felt it in the core of his being. “I love you too, Alexander.”

“I don’t think I ever had an orgasm that lasted that long,” Alec admitted.

“See!” Magnus looked triumphant. “Where is all that talk now, huh, about taking revenge?”

“But you made me so crazy,” Alec said.

Magnus chuckled, “That was the point.”

“Hmm.” Alec looked into his boyfriend’s eyes, thinking about a way to wrestle him down. He was no match for a Magnus with magic. The only way to win was to take him by surprise and pin his hands down.

Magnus read his face like a book and held up a hand. “Don’t even think about it,” he grinned. “I have my magic back and I will use it on you.”

“You’re going to send me flying?” Alec asked.

“Of course, if it’s needed.” Magnus’s eyes were sparkling, and blue flames flew off his outstretched fingers.

Alec rolled on his side, scooping a little closer, his hand reached for his boyfriend.

“Uh, uh!” Magnus warned, wiggling his index finger at Alec. “Don’t come any closer.”

“Why not?” Alec asked, feigning to be indignant. “I want to touch you. Can’t I?”

Magnus raised his eyebrows slightly. “I don’t know if I can trust you,” he said.

Alec rested his hand on Magnus’s upper arm and brushed over his skin. “Of course you can trust me,” he whispered. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Magnus’s.

Magnus grinned and kissed him back. “You should thank me instead of trying to pin me down,” he said against Alec’s lips.

“Thank you,” Alec whispered.

Magnus finally moved his hand down and let it rest on Alec’s arm. The momentary lapse in his concentration was all Alec needed. He moved with a speed only a Shadowhunter could muster, both his hands were on Magnus’s wrists and he pinned them down under his body, rolling himself on top of his boyfriend.

“Ha!” he smiled triumphant. “Got you.”

Alec bent down and pressed his lips against the warlock’s once more. “Do you remember how we wrestled when I stayed with you in Brooklyn, that day Jace had to go to the Seelie Court?”

“I remember,” Magnus said, his eyes were shining brightly.

“You said something about me being a smug Shadowhunter,” Alec reminisced. “But I can still take you on.”

“You can always take me on, you know. Just one look from you can bring me to my knees,” Magnus said softly.

Alec smiled down on him. He moved his hands, holding both Magnus’s wrist with one hand, while he used the other to caress his boyfriend’s face. “It’s exactly the same for me,” he whispered.

He let go of Magnus’s wrists, and placed both his hands on the sides of his face. Magnus, free to move again, wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. Their lips met again, and Alec closed his eyes, letting the feelings of comfort wash over him.

They kissed, an intense kiss, their bodies moving against each other, drinking the other in, touching each other, loving each other, igniting each other and soaring together.

After, Alec curled up against his boyfriend. Magnus had both his arms around him, fingers touching the skin on his back. “Sleep now, my baby,” Magnus whispered. “Sleep and rest.”

And Alec did, feeling warm and comforted.


	108. Clarissa Adele Fairchild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Ave atque vale/Hail and Farewell is a poem, Catullus 101, written by Gaius Valerius Catullus, who wrote it for his prematurely deceased brother.

_**Magnus** _

Feeling the warmth of his boyfriend’s body pressed against him, Magnus didn’t feel like getting up when he woke from his son’s cries. But he knew Max would only get louder and eventually wake Alec up as well.

Yesterday evening, after the curse lifted, Maia had left for home. No one else was going to come and calm Max down, so Magnus had only one choice. Carefully, so as not to wake Alec up, he extricated himself from his grasp. Alec stirred and turned, lying on his back, but he slept on.

Magnus put on some pajamas and hurried to his son’s bedroom. Max sat upright in bed, Rafe was still lying down, but clearly awake too. When he saw Magnus, he sat up. “Papa, ¿Estás mejor?”

“Yes,” Magnus replied. “I’m better. Max is better. We’re all better.”

“Papa, Max wanna play,” his son exclaimed, stretching his blue arms out to him.

Magnus smiled. “Of course. But first, I have to show you something. Both of you.”

He gestured for them to come out of the bed. “You have to be really quiet though, can you do that?” He placed a finger on his lips, and both Max and Rafe followed his example.

Taking both of them by the hand, walking on tiptoes, Magnus led them through the hall to the next room. At the threshold he came to a stop. His boys stared at the bed, and the sleeping figure in it.

They were quiet at first, per Magnus’s request, but as both of them registered it was Alec in the bed, there was no stopping them. Simultaneously they pulled their hands away from Magnus’s grasp and ran to the bed, jumping on it and throwing their arms around Alec, all the while screaming, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

If Alec hadn’t woken up at the sound of his children screaming, he was awake now that they both jumped on him. Magnus saw his arms move as he pulled his children close. He stepped into the room and went to sit on the side of the bed, watching his fiancé and their sons, the three of them forming a tight knot, arms wrapped around each other.

Magnus remembered the day they got Max. He’d asked Alec what he was afraid of, and Alec had said he was afraid that Max wouldn’t like him. Now, more than ever, that fear proved unfounded. The sheer happiness of both his sons, upon seeing their father again, radiated off of them. He heard Alec whisper, his arms around his children. “My sons, my sons.”

To his surprise Magnus saw tears sliding from the corner of Alec’s eyes down over his temples. Rafe and Max were pressed against him, one child on each side, their faces hidden in Alec’s neck. Magnus bent over and kissed his boyfriend on the forehead, wiping with his thumbs over Alec’s temples. “Don’t cry, baby,” he said softly.

Alec opened his eyes and stared at him. “I can’t help it,” he whispered. “I thought I’d never see them again. And you…” his voice choked. He moved his head to the side, nuzzling first Rafe and then Max, while he continued crying.

Maybe it wasn’t that strange, for Alec to be crying in this moment, but Magnus couldn’t help but feel concerned. He remembered how shaken Alec was when he had to wake him up in the middle of the night. He seemed to be thrown off balance, flustered, upset. And that was not the Alec Magnus knew.

He slid under the covers and put an arm around his boyfriend and their two kids. He realized Alec hadn’t talked about what had happened to him yet. He only sent that fire message telling him he was devastated. Now Magnus wondered how devastated he was. He told himself to speak with Alec as soon as they found the time. For now, they stayed in bed, the four of them, in a tight hug, for quite some time.

Magnus felt Alec tremble under his arm, a trembling that didn’t subside. He moved up and gently picked his children from Alec’s arms. “You two go play in your room for a while,” he told them. “Papa will come in a bit, okay?”

The children protested at first, but Magnus took them by the hand and brought them to their room. “Daddy needs to rest a little bit more,” he explained. “And I will come back in ten minutes.”

He hurried back to the other room, and wrapped himself around his boyfriend. “Honey, what’s wrong?” he whispered in Alec’s ear.

“I don’t know,” Alec’s voice shook, he pressed his head hard against Magnus’s chest, and Magnus felt Alec’s tears wet his t-shirt. “I feel so weak and scared, I don’t understand it.”

“It’s trauma,” Magnus said, stroking Alec’s hair. “You’re traumatized. Even the best soldiers can get traumatized. It’s going to be okay.”

“No, it won’t.” Alec’s voice sounded choked. “I feel Jace’s pain constantly. It won’t be okay ever again. I can’t function like this.”

Magnus sighed deeply, as he pulled Alec a little closer to him. Shadowhunters always thought highly of their parabatai magic, but Magnus realized that for now it was more a curse than a blessing. “You  _ can _ function. It’s okay to be weak now, with me. Once we’re back in Idris, you will be strong again, and stable. I’m sure of it. And I’ll be with you all the way. You can draw strength from me, like I do from you.”

Alec nodded against his chest, and Magnus encouraged him to talk about what happened. Alec spoke, telling him about the battle in Rowan field. The slaughtering, the blood, the dead bodies everywhere. He told him how they went to find the King, wearing disguises and using Clary’s invisibility Rune to enter the court. He spoke about the King’s roaring laughter, his dagger burying itself in Clary’s chest. How Emma beheaded the King with Cortana. How Isabelle was wounded, and he himself almost got killed by an Unseelie Knight. Magnus shivered upon hearing it. He realized how close he’d been to losing Alec. 

He tightened his grip on him, as he continued to tell about Adaon arriving and claiming the throne. Alec’s voice grew softer as he spoke about Jace, holding Clary’s dead body in his lap. How he had to haul him up and drag him with him back to Idris after Adaon had opened a Portal for them. “He was so…” His voice died away, and he trembled.

Magnus held him, stroking his back and his hair, and finally Alec calmed down a bit. Magnus suggested a shower as he went to dress the kids and make them breakfast.

In the Institute’s kitchen Magnus made pancakes for his sons and fried a couple of eggs for Alec. Sunny side up, Alec’s favorite. He appeared in the door opening, his hair wet from the shower, wearing his usual jeans and hoodie. He smiled, looking down at the kids spilling powdered sugar over the counter. Magnus regarded him closely. He looked beautiful, as always, but a closer look revealed the shadows under his eyes. “Eggs?” Magnus asked.

Alec nodded and went to sit next to Max, helping him with the sugar. He kissed his son’s blue curls. “Have you been good to Papa while I was away?” he asked.

Max nodded vigorously. Rafe, too. “Papa was sleeping a lot,” he said. “And Max too. But I took care of both of them for you.”

Magnus saw Alec was dangerously close to crying again. He reached over the table to take Rafe’s hand. “That’s wonderful, Rafe,” he said softly. “Thank you.”

After breakfast Alec told him they needed to go back to Idris as soon as possible. “Mom said she needs us there. I’m thinking it’s to take a stand against the Cohort. And Adaon, as the new Unseelie King, will send Kieran and Mark to Idris tomorrow as his messengers, to discuss the new peace. He demands the end of the Cold Peace, just as the Seelie Queen. And then there’s the funeral…” His voice trailed off.

Magnus nodded. “I’ve send Maryse a message, she told me they’re in the Inquisitors house still. So let’s go to the library, portal to Idris and go to them. We’ll see what to do once we’re there. One thing at the time, Alec. And I won’t leave your side.”

Magnus packed some clothes for him and Alec, while Alec packed toys and clothes for the children. The four of them stepped through the Portal and entered Idris. There they walked to the Inquisitors house. Max on Alec’s arm, Rafe walking in between Alec and Magnus, holding their hands.

Maryse opened the door and told them Clary was brought to the Necropolis. Jocelyn and Luke had come to Idris this morning and had gone straight to the Necropolis, Maryse hadn’t seen them. Simon and Isabelle had gone with the Silent Brothers when they came to take Clary away. Jace had locked himself in his room. 

“I have to go check on him,” Alec said.

Magnus followed him to the second floor and stood in the doorway of Jace’s room, while Alec went to sit on Jace’s bed. He placed a hand on Jace’s shoulder and talked to him in a soft, soothing voice. Magnus felt a little relief, seeing Alec being himself again, strong and reliable, a support for his parabatai. He hoped Alec could do it. Cry in his arms, and be strong for others when they needed him. It was exactly like this when Max, his little brother, had died.

Without a sound, Magnus turned around and descended the stairs, leaving the parabatai brothers to themselves.

* * *

 

Late in the afternoon the whole family went, dressed in white, to the Necropolis. Simon and Isabelle met them there. Jocelyn looked as if she’d aged over ten years since the last time Magnus saw her, and Luke’s eyes were red from crying.

Magnus sucked in a breath when he say Clary lying on the pyre. So petite, dressed in a simple white dress, a white band of silk tied over her eyes, the Shadowhunter custom. Her hair was like fire, spread out in a large fan, framing her small head. He stepped toward the pyre and touched her hair. “Hi biscuit,” he whispered. “What did you do? What were you thinking? Leaving us all behind like this?”

Alec came to stand at his side, looking down on her. “God, Alexander,” Magnus said. “I’m going to miss her. I loved her.”

“Yeah,” Alec said softly. “Me too.”

Rafe came up and pulled Alec’s jeans. Alec bent down and picked up his son. He stared down at Clary, a solemn look on his face. “You’re going to say the words again, Rafe?” Magnus asked him.

Rafe nodded. “Ave atque vale,” he said.

Alec looked surprised. “I practiced them with him for Robert’s funeral,” Magnus explained. “We were only the four of us. Maryse, Max, Rafe and me. I thought it would be fitting for Rafe to say the words.”

“Thank you,” Alec whispered to his son. “For saying it when I couldn’t.”

“Because you weren’t there,” Rafe said.

Alec nuzzled his nose in Rafe’s hair, before looking up at Magnus. “I should visit his memorial after the funeral.”

“I’ll go with you,” Magnus said.

A Silent Brother signaled the beginning of the funeral, and Magnus and Alec stepped back from the pyre. Jocelyn started speaking. In a soft voice she told about raising her daughter in the mundane world, and how the Shadowhunter nature in her had been too strong to blot out. How Clary fell in love with her new identity, and with Jace. How she embraced her fate and fortune.

While she talked, Magnus felt a nudge at his shoulder and turned. Emma Carstairs was standing beside him. She gave him a small smile, her eyes sad. “Hi Emma,” Magnus whispered. “Good of you to come.”

They turned their attention back to Jocelyn, who was just finishing up her story. Luke took over, telling childhood stories of Clary, playing with Simon on his farm. Simon spoke, Isabelle spoke, Alec spoke. All of them saying how much they respected and loved her. Alec said he had trusted her to take care of his parabatai, and how he’d liked it so much when Clary became Head of the New York Institute, together with Jace. How good she had been at her job.

When Alec was done, Magnus cleared his throat and started speaking. “I met Clary when she was just a toddler, twenty years ago. She crawled her way into my heart and settled there. This feisty, fiery little biscuit.” He heaved a deep breath. “Living forever, you’d think it would make you get used to losing people. But that, I can assure you, is not true. She was too young, it was too soon, and I won’t get used to living without her from now on. I will never get used to that.”

Emma said a few words about how Clary had been her mentor and her friend, how she’d been such a support to her. Finally, there was only Jace left to speak. It was silent for a long time. The Shadowhunter had his head bent down, staring at his girlfriend lying on the pyre. 

After a few minutes, Alec placed Rafe in Magnus’s arms─Max was sitting on the ground at his feet─and crossed over to Jace. Isabelle went to stand on his other side. Magnus watched as the Lightwood siblings embraced their adoptive brother and held on to him. He sagged against Alec, his head on Alec’s shoulder. “You can do it,” Magnus heard Alec say.

Finally Jace lifted his head, tears were on his cheeks. Magnus didn’t think he’d ever seen Jace Herondale cry before.

“Clary.” His voice sounded broken. “I don’t know how to live without you. But I’ve promised you I wouldn’t give up, so I won’t.”

He was silent again, swallowing hard. “I love you, I will always love you. Ave atque vale, my love, my life.”

It was Simon who quoted the poem.

 

_ “Through many countries and over many seas _

_ I have come, sister, to these melancholy rites, _

_ to show this final honor to the dead, _

_ and speak (to what purpose?) to your silent ashes, _

_ since now fate takes you, even you, from me. _

_ Oh, sister, ripped away from me so cruelly, _

_ now at least take these last offerings, blessed _

_ by the tradition of our parents, gifts to the dead. _

_ Accept, by custom, what a brother’s tears drown, _

_ and, for eternity, sister, ‘Hail and Farewell’.” _

 

Magnus nudged his son, “You can say it,” he said.

And Rafe spoke, his little boy’s voice sounding clear through the air. “Atque in perpetuum frater. Ave atque vale.”

“Ave atque vale, Clarissa Adele Fairchild.” The voices of the Shadowhunters, the werewolf and the warlock mingled together in one single sound of goodbye. The Silent Brother moved forward and lit the pyre. Smoke erupted from it, bellows of it clouded over the sun.

Clary’s wasn’t the only funeral. Other columns of smoke appeared all around them. The scent of it cutting the air. Max started crying. Magnus placed Rafe on the ground and picked up his younger son, rubbing his back. “Shh,” he whispered, as he walked away from the pyre and climbed up the hill. On top of the hill he sat down, Max in his lap, and looked down on the people around the pyre. She’s gone, he thought. She’s really gone. He could hardly comprehend it. His thoughts went to Catarina then, and he felt the pain as a stab through his heart. He hadn't found the time yet to mourn her and he hadn't been able to attend her funeral. This war had taken so many lives. Magnus bend his head in grief, taking a moment to remember her, his wonderful, blue, warlock friend.  


When he looked up he saw Emma talking with Jace. Maryse was hugging Jocelyn. After a while Alec broke away from them, holding Rafe’s hand, they climbed the hill until they arrived at where Magnus and Max were sitting. Alec lowered himself down on the grass next to him.

“Emma told Jace that Clary knew,” he said.

“What?” Magnus whipped his head toward Alec. “Knew what?”

“That she was going to die,” Alec said. “She said she’d sensed it, that she was sure she was going to die very soon. That’s why she turned Jace down when he asked her to marry him. She thought it would make it worse for him to live without her if she’d said yes.”

“And she never told him that?” Magnus asked.

“She never told anyone, save Emma. And she told Emma to tell Jace after the funeral. And so she did.”

Magnus shook his head, while lacing his fingers through Alec’s. “What a horrible knowledge. For Emma too.”

Alec moved to stand up and hauled Magnus to his feet. “Will you come with me to the Lightwood memorial.”

“Of course.” Magnus raised his son up in his arms, and the four of them went through the cemetery, passing rows of tombstones until they arrived at the Lightwood’s headstone. It read ‘We Mean Well’ at the top of the white marble. Beneath the Lightwood Motto and their symbol of fire stood a long list of names.

Maxwell Lightwood (1998-2007) was the second last. The last name was only recently etched into the marble: Robert Lightwood (1965-2012).

Alec released a deep sigh, and Magnus wrapped an arm around his fiancé’s waist. “I can’t believe I missed his funeral,” Alec said.

“If you want to say anything, we’re here now,” Magnus said.

“Yeah,” Alec said, but he didn’t add anything to it for a long time. Max was busy picking flowers in the grass. Rafe sat squatted down, examining a bug or something.

“My father was strong, and brave,” Alec said, finally. “He made many wrong choices in life. Joining the Circle, turning away from his parabatai. He was incredibly conservative. And I didn’t like his attitude toward Downworlders or toward me, when I told him I was gay. Many wrong choices. But he made a lot of right choices too. He raised us well, trained us to become brave and strong Shadowhunters. Accepting you, eventually. Loving and accepting our children. He was a great grandfather.”

“He was,” Magnus agreed.

Alec turned and looked into Magnus’s eyes. “And despite everything, he was my father. I loved him.”

“Of course you did, honey,” Magnus said, pulling Alec a little closer to him. “Of course you did.”

* * *

 

That evening, in the Inquisitor’s house, they discussed the Clave meeting, planned for the next day. “Is the Cohort still a threat?” Isabelle asked. “Many died at Rowan Field.”

“Zara and Horace Dearborn both survived,” said Maryse.

“Probably because they cowered away,” Izzy said.

“The only way for the Cohort to gain power is if they overthrow the peace offering of the Faeries,” Jace spoke. His voice was hard, but at least he joined in the conversation, instead of isolating himself. Magnus thought that was a good sign. “And the Cohort can’t deny that offering. We don’t have the strength nor the numbers to stand against them.”

“But they have suffered loss too,” Isabelle said.

“But it’s not just them,” Alec said. “The entire Downworld wants the end of the Cold Peace. The entire Downworld is against the ideas of the Cohort. The registry they want, the camps for werewolves, the tabs on warlocks. If they go through with that, it will mean war. And, as Jace said, we don’t have the numbers. We won’t stand a chance in that war.”

“I, for one, will refuse to fight that war,” Isabelle said, throwing her hair back over her shoulder. “I mean, how would that even work? We’d fight against Maia, Lily? Against Magnus? That’s plain ridiculous.”

“It  _ is  _ ridiculous,” Magnus said, wriggling his eyebrows. “You all don’t stand a chance against me. One flick of the finger and you’ll all lie unconscious at my feet.” He smiled as he waved his hand, blue sparks flying in the air.

Isabelle laughed, but Alec bumped his elbow. “Don’t joke around, Magnus. This is serious.”

“I know it’s serious,” Magnus replied. “That’s exactly why I joke. God knows we need a little humor to lighten the mood.”

He yawned and stood up. “And we need sleep too. So we have our wits about us tomorrow. I suggest we all go to bed.”

After checking in on his kids, who slept peacefully, Magnus crawled into bed next to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him. He felt sad and tired. But feeling Alec’s warmth close to him made him drift off in minutes.

* * *

 

“Magnus!” Alec cried out. Magnus startled awake, his eyes flew open and met the darkness of the night. He turned to see Alec flailing in the bed beside him. He was asleep, but screaming. Magnus shook his shoulder hard.

“Alexander, wake up!”

Alec bolted upward with a cry, his head moving rapidly from the left to the right until his eyes settled on Magnus. They looked wild, wide open, showing too much white. Magnus sat up and pulled Alec to him. “Are you okay? It was just a dream, Alexander, just a dream.”

Alec rested his head against Magnus, and held him so tight, it hurt. “It was the same one,” he muttered. “Of Clary dying, and me feeling it as if it were you.” He shivered. “I need to see how Jace is doing.”

He jumped out of the bed and ran out of the door. Magnus followed him to Jace’s room. Jace was awake, and when Alec entered the room, he sat up. Alec went to sit on the bed and pulled Jace to him. They sat, entangled in an embrace, for quite some time. Magnus saw Jace’s hands press so hard in Alec’s back, his knuckles all white. He regarded them, feeling a profound worry for his boyfriend. Of course he’d be heartbroken because of Jace’s pain, that wasn’t what bothered Magnus. But it seemed as if Jace’s pain was completely intermingled with Alec’s. As if there was no frontier between them. No place where Jace’s pain ended and Alec’s began.

He was considering going in and taking Alec back to their bedroom, when he heard a soft cry come out of the children’s bedroom. He turned and went to their room. Max was sleeping like a rock, but Rafe was awake and crying. Magnus sat down on his bed and pulled him in his arms. “Did you have a bad dream?” he asked his son in Spanish.

“I heard Daddy cry,” Rafe replied.

“Yes, but don’t worry about Daddy. He’s going to be fine, okay?” Magnus said, even though he didn’t know the truth of it himself. He softly stroked his son’s hair and started singing a Spanish lullaby.

_ “Sol solecito, caliéntame un poquito, por hoy, por mañana, por toda la semana.” _

Sunshine, warm me a little, for today, for tomorrow, for the whole week.


	109. The End of the Cold Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary's funeral is over. Alec is suffering from Jace's pain. And then there are the politics to deal with.  
> As the trauma increases and Alec suffers from nightmares, there's also one good thing happening as the Cold Peace finally comes to an end. A new chapter for Magnus and Alec in their life together.

_**Alec** _

Alec held onto his parabatai for a long time. He felt Jace’s fingers dig into his back, to the point that it hurt. His own panic hadn’t subsided. He tried to even out his breathing and focus on Jace alone, and his distress. “Talk to me about her,” Alec said. “It will help.”

“I can’t talk,” Jace replied, his voice sounded muffled. “I feel like I want to die, Alec.”

“I know,” Alec said. He felt it, Jace’s longing for the oblivion of death. “I know you feel like that, but it will pass.”

“How do you know how I feel?” Jace asked.

“Because I feel your pain as profound as if it were my own,” said Alec. “It will pass, Jace.”

He let go of him and stood up. “Shall I go down to get us a beer?”

Jace got up from the bed. “We’ll both go,” he said. “Where’s your warlock boyfriend when we need him, huh? Now we have to go down all those stairs to get a drink.”

In the hall Alec saw the door to the children’s bedroom slightly ajar. He ducked his head around it and looked into the room. Magnus was sitting on Rafe’s bed, their child in his arms, he was singing softly.

“Hey,” Alec whispered. He walked into the room and touched Rafe’s hair. “Is he okay?”

Magnus nodded.

“I’m going downstairs for a drink with Jace,” Alec said and Magnus nodded again. He bent down and kissed his boyfriend on his lips. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Magnus replied.

Alec smiled at him and hurried down the stairs after Jace. He had already retrieved a few beers from the fridge, and they both sank down on the couch in the living room. They drank and talked for hours. About anything and everything. Clary, and all the amazing things she’d done. The wars they fought together. Robert’s sudden death. Jace admitted he hadn’t found the time nor the headspace to mourn for him yet.

The sun was close to rising when they stumbled up the stairs again, both of them more than a little tipsy. Alec found Magnus asleep in his bed. He almost tripped over his shoes, standing next to the door, and stumbled through the room to the bed. Magnus awoke. “Hey,” he said. “You’ve finally decided to delight me with your presence again. And to wake me up in the process.”

“Yeah,” Alec said, a little drunk. He hovered over Magnus and pressed his lips down on him. “Are you delighted?”

“Are you drunk?” Magnus shot back.

“I might be,” Alec chuckled. He noticed he was slurring his words a little.

Magnus shook his head and gently pushed Alec down in the bed next to him. “You stupid Shadowhunter,” he muttered, while he pulled the comforter over them. “In a few hours an important meeting starts. You are still the temporary head of the London Institute. You have an important say in the matter. We need to be on the top of our game, and now you’re going to be hung over.”

“Oh, who cares?” Alec said, as he was trying to sit up. He turned and propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at his boyfriend. “We all know how it’s going to go. The Cold Peace will end. Downworlder reputation will be restored again. The Cohort will fall apart. And you know what, if they don’t, Jace and I will kill those Dearborns and then the problem is over too.”

“Alec!” Magnus sounded shocked. “Don’t say something like that, that’s dangerous thinking. It’s treason to kill fellow Shadowhunters, you know that.”

Alec smiled down on him. “Don’t worry, you’ll protect me.”

“You bet I will. I will prevent you from killing them, you crazy Shadowhunter.”

Alec rolled over, so he was lying on top of Magnus now. “I am crazy,” he grinned. He pushed his lower body down on Magnus, pressing his dick into Magnus's inner thigh. “About you! Let’s have sex!”

“No,” Magnus said, placing a hand on Alec’s chest and pushing him away.

Alec frowned. “Why not?

“Because you need to sleep off that buzz. It’s almost dawn, we’ll have to get up soon, and I don’t want to,” Magnus said sternly.

“You don’t want to? Stupid warlock,” Alec muttered.

Magnus laid him down again and pulled him close, both his arms tightly wrapped around him, so it was almost impossible to move. Alec subsided and rested his head against Magnus’s chest, he was feeling pretty beat, and there was this annoying buzzing in his head. “You bet I am,” Magnus said. “Now go to sleep.”

* * *

 

Alec awoke from Magnus’s voice close to his ear. “Wake up, Alexander.”

A pounding headache settled behind his eyes, and, when he opened them, the light of the sun hurt him, so he closed them again fast. “Ugh. Light. Sun. Go away,” he muttered.

“You have to wake up,” Magnus said again. His hand was on Alec’s shoulder, and he pulled him up into a sitting position. “Here you go.”

Alec opened his eyes once more and saw Magnus holding a glass out to him, filled with something green. He wrinkled his nose. “What is that?”

“Something that will help with the hangover,” said Magnus. “I gave one to Jace too. Now, the kids are already dressed and having their breakfast as we speak. Maryse will stay with them. You have about ten minutes left to shower and get dressed before we leave for the Clave Meeting.”

Alec took the glass and downed it. It didn’t taste bad. “What’s in this?”

“Banana, Avocado and a few very powerful herbs,” Magnus smiled. “And I’ve added a little extra magic.”

“Thank you,” Alec said. “For taking care of me.”

Magnus shrugged as he took the glass from him. “It’s my job after all,” he commented.

Alec rubbed his eyes as images from last night flooded his brain. “By the Angel,” he muttered. “I’m sorry, Magnus.”

“For what?”

“For waking you up in the middle of the night. Practically forcing myself on you. For suggesting murder. To name just a few things.” Alec felt his cheeks burn from shame.

But Magnus laughed. “Forcing yourself on me? Seriously, Alexander, don’t worry about it. I’m a warlock, I can manage a drunk Shadowhunter. Now, hurry along. I’m going to see if Jace is ready to go.”

Alec showered and got dressed fast. Downstairs Izzy and Simon were waiting. “Where’s Magnus?” Izzy asked.

“Checking on Jace.” Alec hurried to the kitchen, where he kissed his kids and grabbed some toast, which he ate standing at the counter.

Magnus and Jace came from upstairs, Magnus was wearing a long robe, with gold stitches. He looked really handsome in it. He winked at Alec and took his hand. “You okay?”

Alec nodded as they went out of the door. The five of them walked through the streets of Alicante to the Hall of Accords. It wasn’t nearly as crowded as the last time Alec was there. The Shadowhunters had been decimated by the Unseelie war. The other thing that was different was that he didn’t see people with ugly signs protesting anymore. He did see Zara and Horace, their heads bent toward each other, deep in conversation. Half a dozen Shadowhunters stood by them. He wondered what they would do.

They all took their assigned places. Magnus in the warlock’s representative seat. Jace in the seat of the Head of the New York Institute and Alec in the one for London. It felt a little weird to take that seat. He’d been in London for a few days only, he hadn’t run that Institute, not really. The rows filled with Shadowhunters. Caroline Matthews, the vampire representative went to sit next to Magnus, and Maia took the seat for the werewolves.

Jia Penhallow took her place on the dais and opened the meeting. “We are here to settle with both the Seelie and the Unseelie court today. After heavy losses we did manage to overthrow the Unseelie King. The new King as offered us peace. Here are his representatives.”

The door opened, and Mark and Kieran entered the Hall. They walked up to the dais where they greeted Jia. Kieran stood proudly as his eyes swept over the room. 

“I am here as representative of the King,” he said, his voice carried through the hall. “We come in peace. We have reached an accord with the Seelie court and our two realms are in harmony now. We do not wish to fight anymore. Not with you, not with anyone. Here are our terms: we demand the end of the Cold Peace. We demand equal rights for all Downworlders, that means we get the same rights as Shadowhunters do.” 

Kieran glanced at Mark standing beside him. “And we demand that we take a seat at the Council again, like we used to. I, Kieran Hunter, will take that seat in name of all Faeries.”

Zara Dearborn got up from her chair, her voice sounded vicious when she called through the hall. “And what if we don’t agree with those terms? Why should we?”

Hatred flashed in Kieran’s eyes. “You’d be fools not to accept. You are a minority. The Downworld will choose our side against you and your plans full of hatred. I have seen your heart, Zara Dearborn, hate like yours can only destroy. Vampires, warlocks and werewolves will not accept your rule. They will side with us, and then what will be left of you? Shadowhunters will be wiped away from the earth. It would be like they never existed. There was a time before Shadowhunters, if you proceed like this, there will be a time after.”

He moved over the dais, looking in every direction, his hands indicating. “Shadowhunters! Your mandate is to protect mundanes against demons. Don’t let hate for downworlders, unfounded hate, derived from fear, rule over that mandate.”

Alec locked eyes with Magnus, who gave him a small smile. Kieran was doing a good job convincing those who needed to be convinced.

Zara shouted that she would never agree to a Faerie seat on the Council. But someone sitting next to her pulled her down in her seat. Others were murmuring among each other.

“Silence,” roared Jia. “We will take a vote to see if a majority of the Council accepts these terms. I will first ask the Downworld representatives. For the werewolves, Maia Roberts, what do you say?”

“We agree to all terms,” Maia said.

“For the vampires, Caroline Matthews, what do you say?”

“We agree to all terms.”

“For the warlocks, Magnus Bane, what do you say?”

“We agree to all terms,” Magnus said, looking at Alec when he said it.

“Very well.” Jia nodded to Magnus and turned to the seats for the heads of the Institutes. “Does any of you have objections or questions.”

It remained quiet. When Alec looked around at the other heads, he saw Lydia Branwell smile at him. Jace, next to him, sat quietly, his head cast down. Alec felt his parabatai rune flare up and knew Jace was elsewhere with his mind.

“Let all Shadowhunters above eighteen cast a vote now,” Jia addressed the public. “If you wish to accept the peace offering, which entails the end of the Cold Peace and equal rights for everyone, say ‘aye.’ If not, say ‘nay.’ You may cast your votes.”

“Aye,” Alec said, loud and clear. He heard many more repeat him, and only a few, a handful of people were against it. He felt immensely relieved.

Jia gestured to Kieran, and he walked to the seat next to Magnus, the empty seat for the Faerie representative. He gave Magnus a nod as he passed him and sat down.

Jia spoke up again. “The rights of the Faeries have been restored. Equal rights for Downworlders entails free access to Idris for all Downworlders. Free access to Institutes all over the world. They can call upon Shadowhunters to help them if needed. They are allowed to maintain relationships with Shadowhunters, and to marry under Shadowhunter law.”

Alec’s head shot up at those words.  He hadn’t thought about it, but he realized now what it entailed—the end of the Cold Peace, the changing of the law. It didn’t only have implications for Faeries. It meant Magnus and he could finally marry. Marry under Shadowhunter law. Marry in gold.He locked eyes with his boyfriend, who was grinning widely at him, raising his eyebrows meaningfully. 

“And what about Helen?” It was Mark who had spoken. He was still standing at the dais, alone, now that Kieran was seated. Mark pointed to the empty chair of the Los Angeles Institute. “Helen’s exile should be lifted, and she should take her place there.”

“Of course,” Jia said. “With the end of the Cold Peace, Helen Blackthorn’s exile to Wrangel Island is lifted. For her to become head of the Los Angeles Institute, we shall cast a vote for that.”

“No!” It was Zara Dearborn again. “I will not have that Faerie halfblood be the head of the L.A. Institute. It should be me. I am appointing myself as candidate.”

Jia nodded at her. “We will cast a vote for that soon. First, we have to discuss the matter of the Inquisitor. We need a new Inquisitor, since Robert passed.”

Horace Dearborn stood up. “I’ll be the new Inquisitor,” he said.

A murmuring went through the room. Alec saw Magnus shake his head. Another person stood up. Alec recognized him as Sanjay Chadbury, the boy who had visited New York a few years ago. The gay boy, the one Magnus had been so jealous at.

“I am young. Only twenty two years old, but I am willing to take this position,” he said. “I’ll be just, righteous, unlike Horace Dearborn. And we have suffered many losses, many older Shadowhunters have died. Now the new generation comes to power. Alec Lightwood, head of the London Institute. Jace Herondale, Head of the New York Institute. Lydia Branwell, head of the Buenos Aires Institute. And Helen Blackthorn will soon be the head of the Los Angeles Institute. I can do this. I hope to earn your votes.”

“About that,” Alec said, turning to Jia. “I do not intend to stay head of the London Institute. We have to vote for that one too. Unless you want Evelyn Highsmith back in that position?”

Another young Shadowhunter, Jaime Rosio Rosales, stood up and volunteered for the London Institute. Votes were casted. A shocking majority chose Sanjay Chadbury over Horace Dearborn for Inquisitor. He would be going down in history as the youngest Inquisitor ever. Helen Blackthorn became head of the L.A. Institute, and Jaime Rosales was chosen for London. After that the meeting was over.

That was that. Just as easy, Alec thought. The Cold Peace is over, and justice triumphed. He shot a look at Jace, who looked as forlorn as ever. He didn’t care one bit about all of it. All he felt was pain. Alec’s heart ached because of it. He placed a hand on Jace’s shoulder and squeezed him, before walking over to where Magnus was talking with Jia. He heard her announce a banquet for the Downworlder representatives that evening. Magnus inclined his head at her. “Can Alec come?”

“Of course,” she said. She turned to Kieran. “And you can bring Mark, if you want.”

* * *

After the banquet Alec and Magnus strolled through Alicante, hand in hand. They were heading back to the Inquisitor’s house. During the banquet, Sanjay had told them they were welcome to stay there for as long as they wanted. “Tomorrow, we’re going back to Brooklyn,” Magnus said.

“Yeah,” Alec smiled. “Back to normal life, I’m really looking forward to it.”

“There’s one important thing we’ll have to do once we’re back,” Magnus said. He came to a stop in Cistern’s Square. Alec looked at him, confused.

“Alexander, do you remember how you saved my life in this square, many years ago, in our fight against Valentine,” Magnus said, his eyes were shining.

“I remember,” Alec said. “You told me you loved me, and I said I was going to introduce you to my family.”

“I loved you then and I love you now,” Magnus said. Alec’s eyes went wide when his boyfriend went down on one knee before him and took his hand.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, will you marry me?” Magnus said.

Alec felt a smile appear on his face, a wide smile as he looked down on Magnus, who looked so beautiful. His lips smiling, his eyes shining in the light coming from the lanterns on the square.

“Yes! Yes, I will,” he said, pulling Magnus up and in his arms. Their mouths met and they kissed a long and intense kiss, their bodies pressed against each other. Alec broke off the kiss and trailed a hand through Magnus’s hair. “I love you,” he whispered. “You make me happy.”

“You make  _ me _ happy,” Magnus replied. “You have no idea how much.”

“Are you even sure you want to marry me, since I’m such a crazy, stupid Shadowhunter?” Alec asked.

“But also a very sexy Shadowhunter,” said Magnus. His hand came up, and he softly brushed his thumb over Alec’s cheek.

Alec laughed and kissed him again, before pulling Magnus with him through the streets, suddenly in a hurry to go home.

Despite the sudden flare of happiness at Magnus’s proposal, Alec didn’t sleep well. He was afraid to go to sleep. Afraid of the nightmares, the despair they brought with them. He tossed and turned, and when he finally did fall asleep it was a restless sleep. Images of the dead and the dying flashing in front of him. The battle in Rowan Field, the roaring laughter of the king. And the knife flying through the air, again and again. When he woke in the morning he wasn’t rested, not by a long shot. A look in the mirror told him what he already knew, his eyes were dark, his hair standing out in every direction, he looked like a mess.

At the breakfast table he noticed Jace looking far worse than he did. There were dark circles like bruises under his eyes, and his skin looked gray. The whole family portalled back to New York after packing up and cleaning the house. They used the Portal in the Gard and landed in the New York Institute. 

Before going back to Brooklyn they had lunch with Maryse, Jace, Izzy and Simon. It was weird and painful to eat without Clary. Her empty seat cast a darkness on the gathering. Alec didn’t even dare to mention the wedding plans he made with Magnus. Magnus had proposed to wait awhile. To heal first, and give Jace some time. Alec wondered how long it would take. 

Despite the positive news of the end of the Cold Peace, he felt worn. There was a constant ache in his chest, and on his arm, where his parabatai rune was. The atmosphere in the dining room was subdued, adding to his feeling of unease. Even Max and Rafe were quietly eating their food.

After lunch, they took the boys home. They were excited, both of them happy to be home. Together they were running through the house, chasing Chairman Meow and each other. Alec made coffee with the red coffee machine, handing Magnus a cup. 

“Home sweet home,” Magnus said, smiling. His phone rang. “And work calls immediately.” He rolled his eyes while answering the phone.

“Who calls upon the High Warlock of Brooklyn,” his voice thundered in the phone, making Alec grin.

Magnus talked in the phone and Alec went to sit on the couch, watching his children play. He felt tired, maybe a nap would be a good idea.

“I need to go see a client,” Magnus said, walking over to him. “Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Alec replied. “Go. Be back before dinner?”

“I hope so, fiancé,” Magnus bent down and kissed his forehead, before walking out of the door. Alec put his feet up and laid back on the couch, closing his eyes. He heard his kids laugh and play, but the sound of it died out as sleep took him away.

* * *

 

_ “Clary!!!” Jace screams. I turn and see her fall. Her face pale, lifeless. Jace is on his knees next to her. _

_ I move toward them, fall down on my knees. An invisible rope wraps around my throat, I’m choking. _

_ My vision blurs. _

_ Clary disappears. _

_ I blink heavily, my brain not entirely understanding what my eyes tell me. _

_ Clary’s vanished and Magnus lies there in her stead. A gaping hole in his chest, blood trickling out of it in a steady stream. _

_ “No, no, no!” I call out. My hands move over him, they’re instantly soaked in his blood. I touch his face, smears of blood from my hands turning it red. He feels cold to the touch. “Magnus!” I shake his shoulder but he doesn’t react. I’m hysterical. _

_ I can’t breathe. _

_ “Magnus!” _

 

* * *

“Magnus!” Alec screamed. His eyes flew open when he felt two little arms wrap around his neck. He saw Max sitting next to him, crying. And Rafe was on his lap. “Daddy, Daddy,” he said, sounding frantic.

Alec couldn’t calm down. His children were there, but Magnus wasn’t. Was he gone? Dead? Alec didn’t know and started to panic even more. He barely registered it when Rafe pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket and started dialing. “Papa, something’s wrong with Daddy,” he heard him say, and then he pressed the phone to Alec’s ear.

“Alexander?” he heard Magnus’s voice at the other end of the receiver. “Alexander, are you there?”

“Magnus?” Alec croaked.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Magnus asked, but Alec couldn’t answer. He didn’t know if Magnus was really there, or if it was his mind playing tricks on him.

“I’m coming home, I’ll be there soon,” Magnus said. Rafe pulled the phone away and started speaking in rapid Spanish. Alec heard Magnus reply, but he couldn’t understand it.

Rafe hung up the phone and wrapped his arms around Alec once more. “Daddy, Papa’s coming,” he said. Alec felt his hands stroking his hair. He closed his eyes, trying to suppress the panic. He was trembling all over. He couldn’t believe his son’s words. Magnus was dead. He was gone, that was the truth Alec felt in his bones.

He didn’t know how much time passed, it couldn’t be much, when he heard a whooshing sound. He opened his eyes and saw a shimmering in the corner of the room. A Portal. 

And Magnus was there. 

With two long strides he was at the couch. He picked Max, who was sobbing uncontrollably, off the couch and placed him on his lap, and then his arm went around Alec, pulling him close. Alec rested his head on Magnus’s shoulder and inhaled his scent. He was there. He was really there.

“Oh Alexander,” Magnus said, while brushing his hand through Alec’s hair. “This is not good. You’re not well.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec whispered. He was still trembling, but he believed his senses, he felt Magnus’s presence.

“Don’t be sorry,” Magnus said. “We’re going to work it all out. You just need some rest.”

They sat like that, the four of them, for a long time. Alec tried to even out his breathing, while he repeated over and over in his mind that Magnus was right there, and not dead at all.

Finally, Magnus let go of Alec. “I’m going to put the kids to bed, they’re both exhausted. But then we’ll talk about it. Okay?”

Magnus held Max with one arm and picked Rafe from Alec’s lap with his other. “I’ll be right back.”

Magnus left the room, and Alec sat back, hiding his face in his hands. What was wrong with him? He had upset the kids, he had forced Magnus to leave his client. Because he remembered now that that was where Magnus had been. Visiting a client. This wouldn’t do. He had to man up and get over himself. He was a Shadowhunter for crying out loud. He couldn’t function like this.

Magnus returned and poured them both a glass of wine. He handed one to Alec, sat down next to him, and laced his fingers through Alec’s. Alec squeezed his hand softly.

“We’re going away,” Magnus said. “You and me, to Bali.”

“What?” Alec asked, looking into Magnus’s eyes. “Why? What about the kids.”

“I’m going to call Maryse and ask her to babysit them for a couple of days,” Magnus said. “You are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress, and this won’t do much longer. I can’t leave you alone, you’re not functioning. So I’m taking you with me on a trip, to restore you, to heal you.”

“Can’t I go to the Silent Brothers?” Alec asked. “Can’t they heal me?”

“You know how Shadowhunters deal with mental illnesses, don’t you?” Magnus asked. “They act like they don’t exist. They’ll tell you you’re not brave and strong enough, that you’re not the Shadowhunter you should be. I’m not going to let that happen. I know what’s wrong with you, I know what you need.”

“I thought you were dead,” Alec whispered, shivering. “I was so certain of it.”

“I know,” Magnus replied. “But I’m not. And your brain is mixing things up. We need to unravel it. Trust me, honey. We’re going to fix it.”

“Okay,” Alec subsided. He bent toward Magnus and laid his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Magnus’s arm went around him, and he felt his lips on his hair.

“We’re going to fix it,” Magnus said again. The certainty in his voice made Alec believe him.  


	110. PTSS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The quote about grief represented as storm is from Nikita Gill.

_I'm broken and I'm barely breathing_

_I'm falling ‘cause my heart stopped beating_

_If this is how it all goes down tonight_

_If this is how you bring me back to life_

_This is what it's like when we collide_

_If this is how you bring me back to life_

\-        Extreme Music, _Bring Me Back to Life_

__

* * *

 

####  **_Magnus_ **

In the end Magnus had a lot of persuading to do for Alec to come with him to Bali. Alec was hesitant. He didn’t want to leave the kids, but most of all he didn’t want to leave Jace. He went demon hunting with him that evening. It scared Magnus, frankly. Alec was in no condition to go out hunting demons. But Jace called and asked him to go, so Alec went.

“I have to do this for him,” he said when Magnus protested. “He needs this, Magnus.”

“He needs it? Really?” Magnus said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “He needs to go on suicidal missions with you, not only endangering himself, but you in the process.”

“What makes you think we’ll be in danger?” Alec asked. “This is our job, Magnus.”

“I know that. But I also know you are both exhausted and traumatized. Not the best condition to be in for demon hunting, don’t you think?”

“We’ll be fine,” Alec said, and he left.

Magnus was worried during the three whole hours Alec was away, pacing the room nervously. He was inwardly cursing himself for not getting a babysitter and joining Alec. Although he knew Alec wouldn’t appreciate it if he did that. He came back well after midnight with his gear shredded and a gash on his forehead.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Alec waved him away. “It’s nothing. Just some tears in the fabric.”

“Why didn’t Jace give you an _iratze_ for this?” Magnus asked, gently touching Alec’s forehead. Alec flinched.

“Ouch. I didn’t know this was there,” he said. “Must be the adrenaline.”

“And Jace didn’t notice either?”

“Jace is in the infirmary. He broke his arm.” Alec retrieved his stele and tried to trace an _iratze_ on his forehead.

Magnus shook his head. “Have you told him about going to Bali?”

“No, Magnus, I haven’t.” Alec sighed. He was screwing up the _iratze_. “And like I said before, I think it’s better not to leave him alone right now.”

Magnus took his stele away from him. “Let me do that, you’re making a mess out of it.”

He moved his hand over Alec’s forehead, blue sparks of magic knit the wound together. Magnus softly brushed Alec’s messy hair back. “Honey, listen. I know you don’t want to leave him. But in the end it’s better for both of you. Trust me on this.”

Alec sat down on the couch. “I don’t know.”

“I do. It’s only for a day.” Magnus followed Alec to the couch and sat down next to him. “Let me help you. For your sake, but also for Jace’s sake. You know I care about him too.”

“Why does it have to be in Bali, though? Can’t you help me here?” Alec asked.

“Because... I have my reasons and I’ll show them to you.” Magnus put a hand on Alec’s knee and squeezed softly. “Now come to bed, it’s really late.”

It was another fitful night. Alec woke up twice, bathing in sweat. The second time he screamed so loud, both Max and Rafe awoke and started crying. It had a positive side, he was finally convinced that it couldn’t go on like this.

So, early in the morning they went to the Institute with the children. Magnus checked on Jace, who was still in the infirmary. He was grumpy and depressed.

“Jace, I know things are tough right now,” Magnus said. “But we don’t want to lose you. Please stop acting suicidal. For Alec’s sake if not for your own. He’s not dealing with it very well.”

“Is something wrong with him?” Jace asked. He sat up and frowned. Magnus felt a little relieved, knowing if not for anything else, Jace at least still cared about his parabatai.

“Yes, something is wrong with him.” Magnus sighed. “I’m not blaming you for not noticing. You have so much to deal with right now. But Jace, I mean it. Stay alive. I’m going away with Alec for a day. He’s afraid of leaving you alone.”

Jace shook his head. “No need. I’m stuck inside the Institute for this whole day anyway, and tomorrow as well. Maryse is being very strict with me.”

“Good. Tell Alec that, please,” Magnus said.

“Tell me what?” Alec stepped into the infirmary. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” said Jace. “You can go away with Magnus. Don’t worry about me. Are you leaving Rafe and Max here?”

“Yes, they’re in the library, building houses from books.” Alec grinned. “Octavian Blackthorn taught them that in London.”

“I’ve got to see that,” Jace said. The three of them walked through the hall to the library where Maryse was actually helping the kids turning piles of books into houses and flats and all kinds of other buildings.

“Uncle Jace!” Rafe called when he saw him. “Help us build Alicante. We’re making Alicante out of books.”

“Okay.” Jace sat down on the floor next to Max and ruffled his hair. At least he was willing to play with his nephews, that was quite something. “Alicante doesn’t have flats,” he commented, pointing to a large pile of books.

“That’s not flat, is demon tower!” Max yelled.

“In that case,” said Jace, adding a few books to the pile. “It needs to be much higher.”

Magnus bent down to hug Max, and next Rafe. “Be good to Grandma, and to Uncle Jace. Daddy and I are back tomorrow. Love you.”

“Love you too,” said Rafe. He stood up and embraced Magnus. Then he went to Alec. Alec picked him up and hugged him tight. He whispered something in Alec’s ear, making him smile. Max stood up and hugged Alec too, but quickly, he wanted to return to the task at hand.

Magnus took Alec’s hand and together they walked to the Portal. The four people left behind waved at them in goodbye.

“What did Rafe say to you?”

“He said he believed I’d be better soon.” Alec smiled. “He’s such a sweetheart.”

They arrived at a little, secluded beach. The water of the ocean was crystal clear and sparkling. The sand a magnificent white color and dotted with starfish and sea shells.

Magnus turned and saw the little temple hidden up a small hill, surrounded by trees. “This is the place,” he said.

“What place?” asked Alec.

“I’ll tell you. Come with me.” He pulled Alec with him through the trees. The air was humid, and it buzzed with insects. Climbing the hill in this heat made the sweat roll from Magnus’s back within seconds.

“We’re not really dressed for this weather,” Alec commented.

“That’s an excellent point you’re making, Alexander.” Magnus snapped with his fingers and two tank tops and pairs of shorts appeared in front of them. Magnus selected the blue shorts and the green tank top, printed with flowers, and tossed them to Alec. “Here, change.”

Magnus put on the orange shorts with red flowers on them, and a red top. Nice and colorful, Magnus thought. He always liked to dress for the occasion.

After they changed into the lighter wear, they climbed further up the hill until they reached the temple. “This is a _pura_ ,” Magnus said. “A typical Balinese Hindu temple. You see it consists of three pavilions, or bale.”

Alec looked up at the _pura_. “This is where the Hindu worship their gods?”

“Yeah. And we’re going to use it for meditation,” Magnus said. He grabbed Alec’s hand and took him inside the _pura_ . “This is the Utama Mandala,” he whispered. “It’s the most sacred place of the _pura_.”

“Are we even allowed to be here?” Alec said.

“Of course. And besides, this is a secluded area. No one ever comes here.” Magnus sat down, crossed legged, and indicated for Alec to follow his example. “I found this place over a hundred years ago. I was in a bad place at that time, heartbroken.”

“Over Camille?” Alec asked. Magnus was impressed he remembered. The whole story of Camille was written down in one of Magnus’s many black notebooks. He knew Alec had read them all, but to also remember all of it, that was quite something.

Magnus smiled. “Yeah. It seems like such a waste now, doesn’t it? To be heartbroken over her.”

Alec shrugged. “Maybe she was different back then?”

“Aren’t you a sweetheart.” Magnus smiled. “Defending her and my poor decisions at that time. In any case, it doesn’t matter now. I found peace here. This is a peaceful place.”

Alec looked around, craning his head. “It does feel peaceful.”

It was a bit dark inside the _pura_ , but sunlight poured through slits in the roof. The beams looked like golden and silver lines painted on the walls. The atmosphere was so tranquil, and it was so quiet, Magnus could hear the wings of a bird flapping through the air just outside the _pura._

“We’re going to do a therapy session. Close your eyes,” Magnus said softly. “And place your hands on your knees, palms up.”

Alec followed his instructions. Magnus noticed the tension in his shoulders. “We’re going to focus on breathing first,” he said. “Just breathe, in and out. Focus on how the air enters your lungs and leaves them again.”

It was quiet then, for quite some time. Magnus listened to Alec breathing and watched him carefully. He saw him relax more and more, the anxiety leaving his body.

After a good half an hour of sitting like that, Magnus spoke up again. “Tell me, when you dream, what do you see?”

Alec breathed in deeply. “I see a knife. I see blood everywhere. It’s always like this. Blood everywhere. Clary’s dying. You’re dying. My father!”

His eyes flew open and he stared at Magnus. There was too much white in them. The stress was back in his voice and in his shoulders.

“Calm down, sweetie,” Magnus whispered. He scooted a little forward, so his knees were touching Alec’s.

“Your mind is a complicated piece of equipment. And your subconscious is confusing things, mixing things up. Making it one big mush of information. It doesn’t make sense anymore,” Magnus said slowly. He conjured up a handful of threads and knotted them together in a bundle.

“How do we make sense of it?” Alec asked, looking down on the bundle in Magnus’s hand. “None of it makes sense. People die, and for what? People are hurt, left behind. And for what?”

“Because my dear Alexander, we believe there is still a lot of good in this world. A lot of beauty. And it’s worth fighting for.” Magnus smiled and touched Alec’s hand. He didn’t reply. “It comes with a price. Sometimes that price is high. But don’t you think we should keep on fighting anyway? If not for us, then for our children.”

Alec nodded, but still didn’t speak.

After a few moments Magnus started speaking again, showing Alec the bundle. “Now there have been a lot of things going on for you lately. Each one of these issues resembles a thread. And those threads got all tied up. We need to unravel them, take them apart, and deal with each one separately.”

“So we need to figure out what all the different threads are,” Alec said.

“Exactly.”

Alec took the threads from Magnus’s hand and stared at them, his fingers plucking nervously. “I guess one of them was my fear of losing you. And another for losing Max and Rafe. And my father. I hardly found the time to really realize he’s gone.”

He was quiet for a moment. “And Clary. And Jace’s pain.”

Magnus nodded. “They’re all mixed together now, while some of them are irrelevant. At least, they are now. I’m not sick anymore. Max isn’t sick. He and Rafe are both safe. Those are the threads you need to remove.”

“Remove? How?” Alec looked up and into Magnus’s eyes. He looked sad.

“Take them out of there,” Magnus said, nodding at the knot of threads. “And tell yourself it isn’t true. Convince your heart. You are smart, you are strong. I have faith in you, Alexander. And I will constantly remind you.”

“I could still lose you, though,” Alec whispered. “If I die…”

Magnus sucked in a breath as he was jolted back to the dream he had, over a week ago, before all this drama had started. The dream in which Asmodeus had come and offered him Alec’s immortality. It was tempting, so tempting.

Could he? Could he ask Alec this? The idea of Alec dying was horrifying to Magnus. He had told Alec he wouldn’t always mourn, but he would always love and remember him. But living without him seemed an impossibility to Magnus. And if it was possible for Alec to become immortal? Up for grabs. Within his reach. Maybe… Maybe he should tell Alec. Alec deserved to know the truth. He should be the one to decide if he wanted it.

But not now. Not yet. He needed to heal first.

And if Magnus was completely honest with himself, he knew Alec didn’t want to become immortal. He’d made that clear enough. Immortality was a burden, so why burden Alec with it? It didn’t seem fair. Magnus was used to it, had accepted it a long time ago. This was who he was, it was part of him. It wasn’t part of Alec.

Seemingly out of nowhere Alec started crying. Magnus scrambled up on his knees and put his arms around him. Alec laid his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“Don’t be sorry,” Magnus whispered. “It’s okay to cry, to let it all out. You keep everything inside and cooped up. It’s not good. Your grief needs an outlet.”

He rubbed Alec’s shoulders. “If you don’t let it out, the grief becomes a scream trapped inside your soul, a constant cry in the dark, a sob you can never release. So scream, shout and cry the way the sky does, with thunder and lightning and rain, for it knows it is being cleansed, it knows that its storm is the only way to release the pain.”

Alec’s shoulders were heaving, his face pressed in the crook of Magnus’s neck. “That’s beautiful,” he said.

“And true,” Magnus replied. “And I stole it from a poet.”

Alec sat up and wiped his eyes, smiling through his tears. “Of course you did. But you’re right, or, better said, the poet was right,” he said. “I’ll have to face it. Scream, shout and cry, you said?”

“Or talk,” Magnus said. “Talking helps.”

Alec sighed, but then he started speaking. Slowly at first, but faster as the story unfolded. “Kit Herondale came, I was standing guard, and he came to tell me you collapsed. You were lying on the sofa, unconscious. It was then that I realized I underestimated it, and that there was a real chance I could lose you. And the next moment my father was dead. Killed by Annabel Blackthorn. For no reason at all. Why did he had to die? I don’t understand that for one bit.”

He told Magnus everything that had happened. From the time he found his father dead in the Hall of Accords, until the moment he walked through the Portal into the library and finally, really knew Magnus was still alive and would keep on living.

“All that time in between there was this constant fear for you, and for the kids,” Alec said. “It choked me.”

“Oh, honey,” Magnus said. His heart broke for his boyfriend.

“And I couldn’t let it get to me, I had to fight,” Alec continued. “And I know it’s my job to fight. But we fight demons, that’s our mandate. That war against the Unseelie King was so different. These were Faeries I killed. So many of them.”

“But you didn’t have a choice,” Magnus said.

“I guess not.” Alec’s head was downcast. He rubbed a hand over his face, before looking up and straight into Magnus’s eyes. “But it went against everything I believe in. Shadowhunters should protect Downworlders. Not kill them. I know I didn’t have a choice, but I guess I feel guilty nonetheless.”

“Here you go, you feel guilty. That’s always an obstinate feeling, guilt. Very hard to root out,” Magnus said. “And most of the time the guilt is misplaced.”

“How do you know if it’s misplaced?” Alec asked. “We always have a choice. I could’ve chosen to not fight them.”

“But that was not an option. And I know it’s misplaced, because it wasn’t your fault. I know you, Alec. You feel like you’ve let people down. It’s not true. Don’t believe that little voice saying it’s your own fault. That voice is lying to you. Don’t believe in the lies. Believe in the truth.”

“What is the truth?”

“The truth is that you’re a wonderful person, and worthy to be loved,” Magnus replied softly. He reached out a hand and touched Alec’s face in a gentle caress. It was quiet for a little while.

“So, now what?” Alec asked after a few minutes.

“Well, I think we did make some good progress.” Magnus quirked up an eyebrow. “You’ve cried. Let the grief out. We’ve talked it through. What do you reckon?”

“You know what? Talking about it did help.” Alec lifted his head and looked around the _pura_. “And thank you for bringing me here. This is such a beautiful place too.”

“You got all your threads unknotted?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” Alec smiled. “I might need your help every now and then though, in case they get mixed up again.”

“Absolutely. Know that I will always help you. Whatever it is you need.” Magnus scrambled to his feet and pulled Alec up. “Now, we’ve been in this _pura_ long enough. It’s time for the second part of this therapy.”

“What’s the second part?”

Magnus raised his eyebrows at Alec and grinned. “Skinny dipping!”


	111. Skinny Dipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not sorry, but I am giving you a trigger warning for smutty, smutty, hot, hot, sexy content :D

####  _**Magnus** _

Alec laughed. “Skinny dipping! Sounds fun.”

“It is fun,” Magnus said. “Having fun is the best therapy there is. Trust me on that.”

“Oh, I believe you,” Alec replied.

Together they walked out of the _pura_ and climbed down the hill to the beach. Once there, Magnus stripped off his clothes and threw them on the pile with the others. “Come on!” he said, and he ran into the ocean until he was standing waist deep in the water. It was wonderfully refreshing.

Alec followed his example, dumping his clothes on the heap and diving head forward in the ocean. The water was so clear, Magnus could see his boyfriend swimming underwater toward him. Alec’s arms wrapped around his waist as he came up for air.

His wet hair plastered on his forehead, he grinned at Magnus, as he tickled his sides. “Hey!” Magnus said, indignant, and he stepped back.

Creating a little distance between them, he regarded Alec closely. He looked beautiful, Magnus thought. In the years since they’ve been together, he had filled out. The boyishness was gone, and a man stood before him now. With broad, muscled shoulders, a stunning, pronounced jaw-line with a little stubble on it. He hadn’t shaved this morning. He had beautiful high cheekbones. His eyebrows stood in two perfect arcs on his forehead, and his blue eyes were shining. They hadn’t changed, his eyes. They were still as beautiful as ever.

There was a shadow still visible underneath them, caused by all the nightmares and lost sleep. But Magnus was confident they’d get rid of that soon.

Alec was smiling now, making him look even more beautiful. Silver droplets of water run down his chest, it made Magnus long to touch him.

“What are you looking at?” Alec asked.

“You, obviously,” Magnus said. He took a step forward, stretching out his hand to touch Alec’s chest. But before he could do so, Alec dove back into the water.

“Show off,” Magnus muttered.

Alec swam around him like some sort of dolphin. Magnus wondered if there was anything he wouldn’t be good at. With his athletic body he could probably swim a marathon.

Finally, Magnus got tired of watching and not touching. He dove into the water toward Alec, and reached him, grabbing his ankle. Alec resurfaced. “Let go of my ankle!” he said.

Magnus did what he asked, but grabbed his arm instead. “Enough swimming,” he said. “It’s time for part three of therapy.”

“There’s a third part?” Alec asked. He was standing close to Magnus now, and Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist, pressing their bodies close.

“Of course,” he said, his voice a little rough. “The sex part.”

Alec laughed. Magnus closed his mouth on Alec’s and kissed him. Alec hummed against his lips, and his arms drew around him. He felt Alec’s hands softly brushing his back. “I like that part,” he whispered against Magnus’s lips.

“I thought you would,” Magnus replied.

“So for this third part, do we need to stay in the water?” Alec asked.

“For now.” Magnus’s hands traveled over Alec’s back, mapping his shoulder blades, a finger running over the knuckles of his spine.

In reply Alec copied his movement. His lips left Magnus’s, and he pressed them on his neck, his tongue flicking against Magnus’s earlobe. “You taste salty,” he murmured.

“It’s the ocean,” Magnus replied, sighing softly.

Alec’s hands traveled down to the small of his back, one finger brushing over the indentation just above his butt cheeks, making Magnus shiver. His fingers were strong, applying pressure that made Magnus want more. Alec moved his hand between Magnus’s butt cheeks. He closed his eyes and pressed his head against Alec’s. Alec’s mouth was still on his neck, but he went down now, slowly, over his throat and his collarbone.

Magnus gasped when Alec’s finger entered him. He pushed his body forward and felt Alec’s erection pressed against his leg. He longed for him. But most of all he wanted to give Alec happiness. He deserved that after all the stress he’d experienced. He wanted to love Alec, and show him heaven. Not once, not twice, that wouldn’t be enough.

Alec massaged him slowly, moving his finger around inside of him. When he added a second finger, Magnus moaned softly.

“Alexander, go,” he whispered.

He turned around in Alec’s arms, making his hand leave him. Alec placed it on his chest instead, fingers splayed, he pressed Magnus against him. He was breathing heavily as he pushed forward, and Magnus felt his tip against his entrance.

“Go, Alec,” he said again.

And Alec went, slowly he entered Magnus. The feeling of being filled with Alec was enchanting. He panted as he moved forward, all the way in. He stayed still for a second, and then he started thrusting inside of him. Magnus felt it in the core of his being, as he felt Alec’s large cock move, filling him up, bringing him intense pleasure.

Alec’s hand left Magnus’s chest and dug into his hip. “Magnus,” he moaned.

“Yeah, baby,” Magnus replied.

“I love you,” Alec whispered as he sped up the rhythm.

“I love you too,” Magnus said. He closed his eyes, letting the feeling of Alec inside of him wash over him. Alec was moving fast now, moaning as he went. The water splashed around their legs, it felt refreshing against Magnus’s calves.

Alec’s body was trembling as he thrust hard and deep inside of him. It was mesmerizing him, and he began to soar. One of Alec’s hands left his hip and slid around his cock, moving over his length. Magnus closed his eyes, letting his other senses take over. He could smell the salt of the ocean, hear the soft roar of small waves crashing onto shore. Alec’s hand jerked as he moved over him, the sudden pressure made Magnus explode. Alec moaned loudly, and Magnus felt it in the depth of his soul, when they came, together. Alec’s body was shuddering against Magnus’s as he thrust a few times more. Finally he grew still and pressed his head between Magnus’s shoulder blades.

Magnus moved and turned around, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. “That was very good, for the first time,” he said playfully.

“What do you mean, the first time?” Alec said, still heaving breaths.

“The first time in the ocean,” Magnus clarified. “And the first time on this day.”

He took Alec’s hand and pulled him toward the shore. “Now we’re going for the first time on the beach!”

He conjured up a large beach mat and sat down on it. Alec went to sit next to him.

“Maybe lunch first,” Magnus suggested, handing Alec a plate of salmon sandwiches, from a restaurant in Soho. “After all the swimming you did, you need it to recover your strength.”

“Is that so?” Alec asked, raising his eyebrows. “You think I need to recover my strength? I have plenty of it, you know.”

But he took a sandwich regardless, and bit down on it eagerly. Magnus smiled, happy to see his boyfriend like this. Enjoying his food, enjoying the time spend together. Just the two of them.

After Alec ate about five sandwiches he laid down on the mat, his hands behind his head. “That was good,” he said.

Magnus laid down on his side, his head propped up on his elbow, he was staring down at his boyfriend, enjoying the sight of him. His hand trailed over Alec’s chest, tracing the lines of the Runes. Alec had his eyes closed, while Magnus continued to caress him. His chest, his collarbones, his shoulders, his upper arms. He brushed over Alec’s biceps. “I really love how toned you are,” he mumbled.

Alec hummed in reply. Magnus’s lips followed his fingers, kissing the salt off Alec’s body. He moved to his neck, gently nibbling at his earlobe. Alec moved one hand from under his head and stroked Magnus’s back. But Magnus patted his arm away. “No,” he said. “You’re going to lay back and relax, and let me touch you. Okay?”

Alec opened one eye to look at him. “Okay,” he said, holding up his hand by way of apology. “No touching.”

“You’re being a good Shadowhunter,” Magnus approved.

Alec smiled and closed his eyes again, while Magnus continued his travel over his boyfriend’s body. His fingers tapping a rhythm on Alec’s abdomen. He moved his own body down and pressed his lips on Alec’s thigh. Over his upper leg he went to his groin, his hand moving, fingers trailing through Alec’s pubic hair. He sighed softly at the touch. Magnus sat up, spread Alec’s legs and went to sit on his knees in between them. His fingers softly stroking Alec’s inner thigh, and over his balls, down to his butt. He stroked the sensitive skin around his anus, and then moved forward, pressing his finger inside of him. Alec’s sigh turned into a moan.

Magnus moved his finger, massaging Alec, touching that bundle of nerves deep down inside of him. Alec rolled his hips, meeting Magnus’s touch. “You like it?” Magnus whispered. “You want it?”

“Yeah, yes,” Alec sighed.

Magnus added a second finger, as he looked down on his boyfriend, lying there, looking all hot and beautiful. “You are so gorgeous,” Magnus said. “So hot. I want to make you come. You know I’m going to fuck you, right?”

“Yes,” Alec replied, he had his head thrown back into the mat. “Yes. Go, Magnus. I want you inside of me.”

“Not yet,” Magnus teased. “Not yet, Alexander. Be patient. I need to see you come first.” He moved a third finger and entered Alec deep. Alec bucked up his hips and moaned loudly.

“But I want you,” he breathed.

“I know you do, love,” Magnus whispered. “That’s what makes it so hot.”

Alec was trembling under his touch. His cock stood up hard, and moved with every thrust of Magnus’s fingers inside of Alec. He knew he could make him come like this, just his fingers inside of him. And he wanted to see that, see Alec come. So he continued his movement, going a little faster now. Alec was practically writhing underneath him.

“Magnus, Magnus,” he repeated, breathing heavily. “By the Angel. I need you now. I want you now.”

Magnus smiled and shook his head. “You have to wait,” he said.

Then he bent down and pressed his lips against Alec’s trembling cock. He moved his fingers again, as his tongue trailed over Alec’s length. Alec moaned loudly and Magnus sat up and watched as his release left him, covering his abdomen. It was so hot, to see Alec come like that, and know he was responsible for it. Magnus felt it in his entire body, his own cock twitching at the sight of it.

“You are so beautiful when you come,” he murmured. He moved his hand out of Alec now and wiped with a towel over his abdomen. Alec’s hands were on his arms as he pulled him on top of him and pressed his lips hard against Magnus.

“You make me so crazy,” he said after he broke away.

Magnus looked down on him, softly brushing a finger over Alec’s eyebrows. “I know,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Alec said. “It was amazing.”

His hands were on Magnus’s back, and he pressed Magnus’s body down on his. “But I still want you inside of me,” he whispered.

“Me too,” Magnus replied softly. “Besides, you’ve only come twice, that’s not enough.”

Alec chuckled. “I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve you,” he mused.

“You do? I wonder the same, all the time,” Magnus said. “What fate, what fortune was it that brought you in my life and miraculously made you love me? It’s one of the big questions in life.”

“It’s not a big question at all,” Alec said, sounding a bit indignant. “Loving you is the easiest thing to do, trust me. And you are so worth it. You funny, crazy, beautiful person, you.”

He moved up, pressing his lips against Magnus’s and kissed him passionately. “I still want you,” he said, and with a movement as fast as only a Shadowhunter could make, Alec lifted his legs up and bucked his hips, pressing himself against Magnus’s erection. “And I can’t wait any longer,” Alec announced. “Make love to me, Magnus.”

“Your wish is my command,” Magnus chuckled.

Magnus placed his hands on Alec’s hips, positioning himself in front of Alec. He was trembling, yearning for it as much as Alec was. Needed to be with him like this. He pressed forward, entering Alec slowly. He felt himself explode with the buildup longing as Alec’s heat engulfed him, and his walls pressed all around him. Alec sighed in relief when he was completely sheathed inside of him. He stayed still for a while, looking at the Shadowhunter beneath him. He looked tanned and muscled. His head was pressed against the mat, but his eyes were wide open and sparkling as he looked up at him. Magnus moved his hand from Alec’s hip and brushed over his stomach, trailing the lines of his abs.

“Move,” Alec whispered.

Magnus started thrusting, slow thrusts, gentle movements. He didn’t want to rush it, even though he thought he was going to burst apart from the feeling of bliss Alec gave him.

Alexander. His love, his world.

He didn’t want it to end. He wanted it to last as long as possible. So he went excruciatingly slow, so slow it was almost torment. Thrusting and retreating, so far that he’d almost slid out of him before he pushed forward again.

Alec whispered his name, his eyes closed, he moaned softly with every slow thrust. Magnus continued to brush with his hand over Alec’s chest, to his waist and down over his abdomen. His fingers caressing Alec’s soft and warm skin. He moved down to his groin, stroking through his pubic hair and over his cock. He rubbed him until he was rock hard and trembling in his hand.

Alec said his name again. “Magnus, go, move,” he urged him on.

Magnus went a little faster now, a little deeper. He watched his cock disappear inside of Alec, the look of it almost enough to make him come. But he didn’t allow himself, not yet. His hand was firmly wrapped around Alec’s length, he continued rubbing him, from his base to his tip and back, in strong movements. He felt this strong urge to love him, to make him feel loved. To let him know there was more to this world than bloodshed, loss and nightmares. That there’s still so much good left in the world. So much that makes it worth it.

They were in paradise together today, and loving each other made it even more so. Magnus felt it grow with every thrust, this feeling of paradise, of heaven. He was nearing it, entering it. He let go of Alec and placed his hand on his hip again, to steady himself. His body started trembling as he pushed harder inside of him. Alec moaned loudly at the touch.

The birds in the trees were singing their love. The waves crashing on the shore were singing their love. The sun was shining on their love.

Alec’s body was shaking beneath him, while he moved faster and faster. When Alec moaned loud, he looked down on his stomach and saw it covered with Alec’s release. He’d come again, and the knowledge of it sent Magnus over the edge, following him to heaven. He moved a few times more, Alec’s heat all around him, and he pressed his eyes closed. There was a rainbow of colors bursting in front of his closed eyelids. He cried out Alec’s name as he pressed his body close to him.

“Alexander.”

_My love. My world._

He didn’t know how much time passed before Alec moved underneath him and sat up. Magnus almost fell forward into Alec’s arms. He wrapped them tight around him and pressed his lips on Magnus’s hair. “I love you so much,” he said.

Magnus had his eyes still closed, his head against Alec’s chest, he let out a sigh. “I love you too,” he replied. “You’re amazing.”

Alec laid back and pulled Magnus with him. “This is some good therapy,” he said. “How many more of these sessions do you think I need?”

Magnus chuckled. “A hundred, a thousand maybe?”

Alec hummed in agreement, while slowly caressing Magnus’s back. They dozed off in the afternoon sun, lulled by the sound of the waves.

 

* * *

 

When Magnus awoke, the sun was already close to setting. Alec was awake, staring at the sky. Magnus buoyed himself up on an elbow and regarded his boyfriend. “How did you sleep? No nightmares?”

Alec shook his head. “None. I guess it already pays off.”

“Good,” Magnus smiled.

“I wish there was something I could do for Jace, though,” Alec said. “He’s hurting badly. And I’m afraid for him.”

“He’s strong,” Magnus stated.

“That’s true. But when it comes to Clary, I’m not so sure. He loved her so much,” Alec said. “And I understand that. I don’t know what I’d have done if you’d died, when you were so sick.”

Magnus looked at him closely, touching his cheek. “I really believe you would get through that, although it would be incredibly difficult. But for Rafe and Max you would do it. And if you can do it, I believe Jace can get through it too.”

Alec exhaled. “Maybe, but Jace doesn’t have Max and Rafe.”

“Of course he does. And he has you, and Izzy, and Maryse,” Magnus pointed out. “And on top of that all, he’s a Shadowhunter, he still has his mandate. You know he lives for that.”

“Yeah,” Alec mumbled, not quite convinced.

Magnus moved a hand through Alec’s hair. “Just give it some time, love. He needs time.”

He sat up and stretched his arms. “Now, unfortunately, all good things come to an end. I believe we need to go back and make sure our children don’t break down the Institute in our absence.”

Alec sat up too. “Yes, let’s go home. To our children. Which is a good thing too, by the way.”

“That is an excellent point you’re making, Alexander! From one good thing to the other.”

Magnus stood up and started putting on his clothes. He flicked his wrist to remove all the evidence of them spending the day here, and started making a Portal. Hand in hand they stepped through it and entered the New York library. As soon as they were there the door opened and Rafe came running through it.

“I knew you were here. I heard the Portal,” he exclaimed, running into their outstretched arms.

Not soon after Max followed. Magnus picked his son up in his arms. “Shouldn’t you two be in bed?” he asked.

“No!” Max said, utterly surprised. “It’s morning!”

“It’s nine thirty in the morning,” said Rafe, sounding wise beyond his years. “Grandma told me that.”

“Ah, time difference,” Magnus smiled. “Totally forgot about that. But nine thirty, that’s great. That means it’s time for coffee!”

The four of them left the library to face daily life once more.


	112. I Am Mortal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dear readers, I'm back from France and here's my next chapter. Now, the fluffiness of the last chapter was a good point to stop before my three weeks break. And now I'm back we're going to touch the difficult stuff. I spent some time lying awake thinking about how to spin this, it was a tough chapter to write. So, back to it, and we're diving deep.

####  **Alec**

Alec closed the door of Max’s room and walked back to the living room, looking forward to an evening off, spending some time with his husband to be. It had been a few weeks since they’d returned from Bali. October had come to New York, and with it the Fall. Life had gone back to its normal rhythm. 

Alec was doing remarkably better, even though he still woke up from nightmares every now and then. Jace was still pretty much the same though. Not talking much, forcing Alec to come on crazy missions. The one thing that seemed to actually help him was training Rafe. Of course, Rafe was only a five year old Shadowhunter, but he was eager to learn. Shadowhunters began their training early, and Jace had appointed himself Rafe’s personal instructor. It seemed to help him, for which Alec was glad.

Alec leaned against the doorpost, looking at Magnus, who was sitting on the couch, staring into the middle distance. He’d been like this all day, something was clearly on his mind. 

“Magnus, what’s wrong?” he asked.

Magnus looked up, staring at him for what seemed like a long time. Alec crossed the room and sat down next to him. “You seem so distracted, what’s going on? You can tell me.”

“I’m not sure,” Magnus mumbled.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to burden you,” Magnus replied.

Alec frowned. “Whatever it is, I’m sure I can handle it.”

Magnus shook his head slowly. “You don’t know that.”

“Okay.” Alec sighed, a little impatient. “But what I do know is that I’m not going to sit here and not know what’s going on. You know I’m stubborn. I’ll keep nagging until you tell me. So better get it over with.”

Magnus heaved a breath. “Very well, I’ll tell you. I know I have to eventually.” 

He looked up and into Alec’s eyes. His face a mask of uncertainty. Alec saw the vulnerability in his eyes and grew worried. Whatever it was, it was something big.

“You remember Asmodeus visiting me in that dream, telling me about the Unseelie King,” Magnus began.  


Alec nodded, it wasn’t something he’d ever forget.

“There was more to it,” Magnus said, his voice soft as a whisper. “He told me that if I would pass the message along to you, he’d do something for me in return.”

He fell silent again. Alec sensed a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t like the sound of that. Asmodeus doing something for Magnus. Whatever it would be, he didn’t trust it. He was a demon, after all. 

“What did he say?” he probed, after a few moments of silence.

“He said he’d make you immortal. Free of charge. No change needed, you can stay a Shadowhunter, you can stay who you are, but become immortal.”

Alec felt his stomach drop.

Whatever he thought it was, he hadn’t expected this. He knew his mortality was difficult for Magnus. The knowledge that he would one day have to live without him. But he thought, believed Magnus had found his peace with that.

But now this happened.

Alec didn’t know what to say. He knew he couldn’t accept this offer. First of all, because he didn’t trust Asmodeus one bit. Who knew what would happen once he made him immortal. He could decide to have Magnus killed instead, and then Alec had to face immortality alone. Or he’d do something else to separate them forever. He was capable of it, for the mere idea of torturing Magnus would be appealing to him. There was no way Alec could ever trust Asmodeus or accept anything he’d offer him.

But even if he could accept it, he wouldn’t want it. He didn’t want to live forever. The idea alone scared the crap out of him. He was a mortal. It was in his DNA, in his bones, part of him as much as he was a Shadowhunter, a human being. Not made to live forever and not wanting to either.

But Magnus obviously wanted him to accept it. Otherwise he wouldn’t have said anything. He would’ve kept it to himself. And now Alec had to break his heart, the last thing he wanted to do.

“I’m sorry,” Magnus said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I know you don’t want it.”

“So why did you?” Alec asked.

“I guess I thought you had the right to know,” Magnus replied.

“But if you think I have the right to know, why tell me now? Why not instantly? Why keep this information to yourself for weeks and tell me today?” Alec felt a little frustrated toward him, for pushing him into a corner like this.

Magnus stared down at the floor. Alec saw his hands tremble, and he felt his own heart break. By the Angel, why had that awful demon offered it in the first place? As if the world and their lives weren’t complicated enough without it.

“I thought I would only bother you with that information. You needed to focus, you needed to fight. We didn’t even know if you’d survive it. We didn’t know if I’d survive it,” Magnus said. “If either one of us died it would’ve been futile.”

“You didn’t even want me to fight,” Alec muttered.

“Of course not,” Magnus raised his voice, sounding irritated. “I want you to live.”

“Forever?” Alec couldn’t help but ask.

Magnus didn’t reply, but his silence was answer enough.

“By the Angel, Magnus,” Alec said. “I can’t believe you would even consider it. He’s a demon for crying out loud. You can’t trust him, you can’t accept anything he offers.”

He stood up, feeling a little angry now. “And now what? You want me to consider it? You want me to actually tell you if I want to spend eternity with you or not? I am a mortal, Magnus. I am mortal.”

He paced the room, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. He was actually mad now. He didn’t want to tell Magnus that he preferred dying over staying with him. That wasn’t even true. Of course it wasn’t true. He loved him more than life. But what did Magnus expect from him, really? That he’d accept this, become immortal, watch everyone around him die. Jace, Izzy, Rafe… Knowing he’d had to live on without them forever. That thought frightened him.

Of course, Magnus would be there. And Alec could be with him forever. He couldn’t deny that that was appealing. Really appealing. But it was also an impossibility.

And he felt bad for Magnus, for Max. Knowing they would have to live forever and face this. This horrible truth of living without him. He didn’t want that for them, but what was he to do about it? This was his life, this was their life, and they had to accept it.

“I know that,” Magnus said, and he stood up too. “But is it so wrong of me that I want you to live? That I don’t want to live without you.”

“God, no!” Alec replied. He stood still next to the dining table, facing Magnus who was standing in front of the couch. “But this is the truth we have to live with. And you can’t seriously consider taking a demon’s offer.”

“So you don’t want it?” Magnus’s voice was almost inaudible. He sounded so vulnerable and broken too.

Alec didn’t want to break his heart, but Magnus left him no choice. There was no way out of this. “You’re actually going to make me say it,” he said, feeling more than aggravated now. “No. The answer is no. I don’t want it. I am a mortal. I’m going to grow old and die. Or maybe not grow old. But die I shall.”

Magnus didn’t look at him, his head downcast. Alec bit his lip in frustration. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “Why are you making me do this?”

Magnus sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. “I had to tell you,” he said through his hands. “I couldn’t keep it tucked inside anymore.”

“I hate this,” Alec said. “I really hate this. I love you, I don’t want to leave you. But you’re asking me for the impossible.”

“I’m not asking you anything,” Magnus said. “I’m just telling you what Asmodeus said to me.”

“Yeah, sure. And you’re not implying anything with it.” Alec heard the sarcasm in his own voice. He felt the tension in the room. His own heart breaking for Magnus. And Magnus’s heart breaking over his answer. And he hated Asmodeus for doing this to them.

“I’m going to kill him,” he said suddenly.

Magnus looked up at him. “What?”

“I’m going to hunt that bastard down and kill him,” Alec repeated.

“No!” Magnus replied. “Don’t be ridiculous, Alexander. You’re not going to do that.”

“Why not? I’m a Shadowhunter, that’s what we do, we kill demons.”

“Not this one. He’s one of the princes of hell, you can’t defeat him.” Magnus sounded exasperated.

Alec didn’t reply but just stood there, leaning against the dining table, feeling helpless, guilty and still a little bit angry too.

“And now what? You’re going to hate me for not wanting what that awful demon is offering?” he asked, genuinely scared that Magnus would resent him for it.

Magnus stood up and walked toward him, taking his hand. “Of course I’m not going to hate you,” he said. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Alec closed his eyes for a second, inhaling deeply. What a mess.

“ _ I _ am the one who’s sorry,” he replied, opening his eyes and looking up to Magnus. He was looking down on their hands. He seemed pretty upset, and Alec wanted to reassure him badly. “I don’t want to leave you behind. Ever. I love you so, so much. But this is life. We can’t manipulate it whichever way we want it. I mean, why stop here? Make Rafe immortal too. And Jace, and Izzy, and Simon. And when they have children, make their children immortal too. It just doesn’t work, you know that.”

“I know,” Magnus said, his voice shook. “But where is the hope, Alexander?”

Alec lifted a hand and brushed his fingers over Magnus’s cheek before tilting his chin up to look him in the eyes. “Remember when I told you that you have a brilliant soul? Our souls live forever, I believe that. One day this world will end. The sun will blow up, a meteor might crash the earth. Crazy mundanes will burn it down, drop nuclear bombs on everyone. Or who knows, the Bible says God will return to earth to judge it. And when that day comes my soul will look for you and find you. I will always find you.” 

Alec paused for a second, and breathed in deeply. “You will have to live without me. Maybe for a long time, maybe for a short time. Or maybe you’ll die before I do. Anything can happen in this crazy world we live in. We have no guarantees. But there’s always hope, Magnus.”

Magnus’s eyes were shining when he looked at him and gave him a small smile.

Alec smiled back and stepped a little closer to his boyfriend. Their foreheads almost touching. He dropped his voice to a whisper. “We will find each other then, and be together forever. You can hold on to that after I’m gone.”

Magnus nodded, and Alec continued. “But I am still here. And we are alive. Alive to love each other, and raise our children together. Stop fretting about something that might never happen. Stop worrying about tomorrow, and start living today. Life is now.”

He leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend on the lips, infinite tenderness in the kiss. Telling him with his lips that he loved him so much. Magnus kissed him back, their mouths moving against each other in a slow and gentle kiss. When they broke apart Magnus smiled a real smile.

“You never cease to amaze me, Alexander,” he said, while trailing a hand through Alec’s hair.

“You forgive me, for not wanting to accept Asmodeus’ offer?” Alec asked.

“Of course. There’s nothing to forgive,” Magnus replied. “You are right. He can’t be trusted and you are mortal. We can’t manipulate everything. We can’t always get what we want. We have to make do with what we have. And what I have is you, I’m eternally grateful for that. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Me, neither,” Alec whispered. “I never want a less strange love.”

Magnus wrapped his arms around him, and the next thing Alec knew, his feet were lifted from the ground. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m making us float,” Magnus replied, chuckling softly. He snapped his fingers as they rose up in the air. Beneath their feet appeared a pink colored cushion, it looked very much like cotton candy. Magnus sat down, crossed legged, and pulled Alec with him. “We’re on a pink cloud,” he said.

Alec couldn’t help but laugh as he looked around. The ‘cloud’ Magnus had conjured up floated halfway between the floor and the ceiling. “Why?” he said.

“I always wanted to do this,” Magnus explained. “When I admitted to myself that I was in love with you, I wanted to conjure up a pink cloud to float on, but I never went through with it then. Of course, you were still closeted and hung up on Jace, so there were enough reasons for me to be doubtful. Now, however, there’s no reason left. So I feel we deserve this, sitting on a pink cloud.”

Alec smiled, turned and wrapped his legs around Magnus’s waist. “You are a wonderful, crazy warlock,” he said.

“Hmm,” Magnus hummed in agreement as Alec’s arms came around him too, and Alec pulled him close.

Magnus rested his head on Alec’s shoulder, and they sat like that, Alec wrapped around Magnus, holding onto him, for a long time.

“Aku cinta kamu,” Alec whispered.

Magnus lifted his head and smiled at him, before pressing his lips on Alec’s. “Me too,” he replied against Alec’s lips. “A lot and forever.”

“Forever,” Alec repeated.

Magnus sat up and handed Alec a glass of wine, seemingly out of nowhere. He clinked his glass against Alec’s. “Let’s get married soon,” he said. “I don’t want to wait.”

“Me neither,” Alec replied, taking a sip.

“I want to call you my husband for as long as I can. And I want to change my name,” Magnus mused. “Magnus Lightwood. I like the sound of that.”

“Lightwood-Bane,” Alec corrected. “For both of us. Like our children.”

“That sounds great,” said Magnus, smiling at him. “Alexander Lightwood-Bane, is tomorrow too soon?”

Alec laughed. “Yes, that’s too soon. We need to plan, and invite people. Give them time to shop.”

“Oh yes! Shop! We need golden suits. A golden theme wedding. Oh, this party is going to be awesome!” Magnus was his shining self again. His eyes glittering in excitement. “The party of the century! Max and Rafe in gold too. They can have golden baskets with golden flower petals in them to throw around. We’ll have a golden car, rent a golden hall. And golden rings.”

Alec chuckled. “A Shadowhunter wedding isn’t with rings. It’s with Runes. One on the arm, one on the heart.” He gestured to his forearm and placed his hand on Magnus’s chest.

“Set me as a seal upon thy heart, As a seal upon thine arm: For there is love, that is as strong as death; jealousy demanding as the grave,” Magnus quoted. “And many waters cannot quench this love. Neither can floods drown it.”

“Because it lasts forever,” said Alec.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: At the very end of the chapter Magnus quotes Song of Songs 8:6-7
> 
> For those who read comments before reading the chapter: this note contains spoilers:
> 
> Alec couldn't accept Asmodeus' offer, and with good reason too. He's a demon, after all. I think some of you might be disappointed because I haven't made him immortal. Yet, who knows what will happen? Max could grow into someone who has special power. Or, you know, let your imagination run wild. For now, I'm leaving it open ended. I hate the idea of Magnus living alone after Alec dies, but we're not there yet, and even if Alec stays mortal, this story won't discuss anything that comes close to their end.  
> I'm closing in on the end of it though. A few chapters left and then I'll leave it to your own imagination. Thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts. XOXO <333


	113. A Walk Down Memory Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The memories Magnus is reliving in this chapter are taken from ‘The Bane Chronicles,’ as are some of the lines I’ve used in his internal thoughts.

_**Magnus** _

Magnus awoke in the middle of the night. At first he thought it was Alec who woke him with another nightmare, but when he turned he saw him sleeping beside him peacefully. On his stomach, his head turned toward him, slack with sleep. Magnus brushed a hand gently over Alec’s face, glad to see he was sleeping soundly again.

He went to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling, as the memory of last night surfaced. Alec hadn’t wanted to accept Asmodeus’ offer. Magnus wasn’t surprised, it was the sensible thing to do. And Alec was nothing if not sensible. And he believed him when he’d said he didn’t want to leave him. Nothing had changed. They were still together, spending that time together that was given to them. It was okay, really.

There had been so many lovers in Magnus’s life who hadn’t want to spend their lifetime with him. Who decided their paths would cross only briefly, until they could move on to something more permanent. He remembered Imasu, in Peru. How broken hearted he was when he’d broken up with him. He’d said to him that Magnus was ephemeral, like a glittering shallow stream that passes the whole world by. Not something permanent. It was such a strange thing to be told, when he was the most permanent person Imasu would ever meet. It hadn’t made any difference. He’d broken up with him regardless. How heartbroken he’d been, and so drunk besides.

It was not often that Magnus took a trip down memory lane. He believed the past was the past and it was no use reliving it. Yet he also remembered Alec telling him the past made him who he was today. It had formed him. So every now and then he chose to remember. To think back. Tonight, it seemed, was one of those times.

He got up and walked to the living room, in need of a good glass of Scotch. Standing in front of the window, he watched New York, the lights of the night glittering. The city was never asleep, although he figured many of its inhabitants would be sleeping now.

Not the vampires though. The ones staying in Hotel Dumort, with Lily as their leader. They would be awake now, partying and drinking Bloody Mary’s with O-negative, probably stolen from a hospital. He remembered Lily when she was still new to it, to being a vampire. How she’d feed on mundanes, without a care in the world. It had been Raphael who stopped her, who talked sense into her and the others, telling them they would get caught by the Shadowhunters if they acted so carelessly.

When Magnus first met Raphael he was turned only days before. His mother had come to Magnus’ door, asking him to help her find her son. When he found him he realized it was too late, Raphael was no longer human, but vampire and a desperate one at that. He tried to kill himself by stepping into sunlight. Magnus had stopped him, had saved him and trained him. He was stubborn and incredibly strong-willed. He believed he was damned, but he worked and worked until he could wear a cross without getting burned, and he could say the word ‘Dios’ without choking. He starved himself to make sure it was safe to be around his family. After months of training, and annoying Magnus besides, Raphael had returned to his mother, playing the perfect son. She believed him, believed he wasn’t damned. After that Raphael had gone to live in Hotel Dumort as Camille’s second in command. Magnus had only seen him on official occasions since then.

And of course he’d seen him in Edom. Where he so foolishly took Sebastian’s side and was killed because of it. He was gone now. He, and Camille, and Ragnor, and Catarina. It was true, what Alec had said, that he might die before Alec did. All those others had. And he thought he’d have them forever. Now only Tessa was left.

Tessa had gone to him in Paris, after Will died. She’d cried in his arms and he’d vowed to never love a mortal again. To see her in pain like that, nothing could be worth it. Of course that vow didn’t even last for a decade. After all, when you can find love, you’d better hold on to it for as long as you can, no matter the heartbreak. Eventually it was worth it, Magnus believed that.

Magnus took another sip of the Scotch, and twirled the golden liquid around in his mouth before swallowing. Paris, it was a long time ago that he’d lived in Paris. He’d lived there during the French Revolution. That’s when he’d gotten to know Axel. The Swedish nobleman, Count Axel von Fersen. Too noble for this world. Insisted on saving the King and Queen. Magnus had had quite an adventure with him and Queen Marie Antoinette. He’d helped Axel save her, but that plan almost failed when a bunch of vampires interrupted. The story was messy, it involved a hot air balloon, and wasn’t there a monkey? He distinctly remembered the monkey, but not what part it had played in the story or how he’d gotten it. What he did remember was how he had floated with Marie Antoinette through the sky over Paris and they’d landed in the Seine. There, at the riverside, he found Axel and delivered the Queen to him. Axel had kissed him, a kiss that had send flutters through his entire body. Unfortunately, he’d never seen him again after that night.

Magnus yelped when he felt a hand come around his waist. “Sorry,” Alec murmured behind him. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Then don’t creep up on me like a cat,” Magnus stated. It was a weird realization that after all these years he could still be surprised by Alec’s Shadowhunter stealth.

Alec wrapped both his arms around Magnus’s waist from behind him, and Magnus rested his head against Alec’s shoulder. “I woke up and you weren’t there, so I was concerned. You couldn’t sleep?” Alec said, nuzzling his head against Magnus’s. Magnus felt instantly guilty, knowing Alec’s nightmares were about him not being there.

“Evidently,” Magnus replied. “I woke up for no reason at all, and now my past is haunting me.”

“What do you mean, haunting you?” Alec asked.

“I don’t know, it’s one of those nights when melancholy takes me down memory lane. I don’t have those often. Once or twice every century. But apparently tonight is the night.” He sighed. Melancholy wasn’t his favorite emotion. He preferred joy and excitement. And thinking about crazy adventures filled with debauchery.

“What were you thinking about?” Alec asked softly. He pressed his lips against Magnus’s cheek as he whispered, “You can tell me.”

“I was thinking about Paris,” Magnus said. “There was this Swedish nobleman who came to ask me to save the Queen. It was during the time of the French revolution. I took her in a hot air balloon and handed her safely to him. But they felt the need to drive away in this ostentatious carriage. All eyes drawn to it as soon as it passed by. So they were caught in Varennes and sent back to Paris. She died by the guillotine.”

“Marie Antoinette,” Alec said.

“Yeah. How do you know?”

“I know some mundane history. And also, you’ve written it down in your memoirs. His name was Axel and he had blue eyes and black hair,” Alec stated.

“Those  _ are _ my favorite traits,” Magnus said.

Alec chuckled and tightened his grip around Magnus’s waist. “You don’t say!”

They were quiet for a while, Magnus sipped his Scotch and leaned back against Alec. He closed his eyes and thought about Paris. The smell of freshly baked croissants in the morning. The walks through the Tuleries garden. The gardenias in bloom. He loved Paris.

“Are you okay, though?” Alec asked quietly.

“I’m fine. Don’t mind me, really. Just reliving the memories. I’m thinking,” Magnus mused. “It’s high time for us to visit Paris again, what do you say? It’s been years.”

“I think it was 2008 when we were there last,” Alec said.

Four years. And so much had happened in that time. Magnus was amazed, truly. Time ran differently for warlocks. It was like rain, glittering as it fell, but also taken for granted. Only when you love a mortal, time turns to gold. Precious, every second of it, to spend with your mortal love.

His last real love before Alec was Etta in the fifties. After her he’d had some adventures. Some lasted only a day, some a few months, but nothing was as real as his love for Alec was. That’s why these four years seemed like four centuries to him, while the memories of the decades before Alec were hazy, shrouded, and seemingly days instead of decades. It was almost as if they hadn’t really existed. As if he hadn’t really been alive. Not like he was now.

“Are you really okay?” Alec asked again.

Magnus turned around in his arms and looked him in the eyes. “Why do you keep asking me that?”

“Because I can’t help but feel guilty about tonight,” Alec said. “I have the feeling I’ve let you down. As if I don’t love you enough to want to spend eternity with you. But that’s not true, you know that right?”

Magnus’s expression grew soft, as he looked into his boyfriend’s face. He looked so insecure, wanting to reassure him so badly. He moved forward and nuzzled his nose against Alec’s. “Honey, I know you love me, don’t fret. You’ve told me in Indonesian, my mother tongue. Everything is more true when you hear it in your mother tongue.”

Magnus could say ‘I love you’ in many languages. 

Jeg elsker deg (Norwegian.) 

Je t’aime (French.) 

Te amo (Spanish.) 

Ik hou van jou (Dutch.) 

Ich liebe dich (German.) 

But when spoken in Indonesian, it had a certain weight to it. As if it were invaluable.

Alec still looked unsure. Magnus reminded himself once more that Alec was still really young, only twenty-three years old. Of course, he was a Shadowhunter, and in his short life he had lived through many trials and faced many losses. But he was still only twenty-three years old.

“You haven’t let me down, Alexander,” Magnus said. “I totally understand that you don’t want to become immortal, it is a burden. A burden I don't want you to carry, since you're not supposed to carry it. And I really loved what you said about it, how the world will end one day and our souls will find each other. I believe that. And you were right, not wanting to take Asmodeus’ offer. It was the sensible thing to do. At least one of us must be sensible. Especially now that we have the kids. I’m glad I have you, I would’ve made such a mess out of this.” He indicated to the toys strewn on the floor.  


“Of course not,” Alec said, smiling. “You’re a wonderful parent.”

Magnus laughed. “I’m glad you think so.”

“I know so,” said Alec.

“I know I would forget their curfews every night. Give them anything they want, because that’s the easy way out. I’d probably let them do whatever they want to. Have cotton candy for breakfast, that kind of stuff.”

Alec shook his head, still smiling. He let go of Magnus then and got himself a glass of Scotch too, refilling Magnus’s for him. “Okay, if we’re going to reminisce, let’s do it together.”

He pulled Magnus with him to the couch where they sat down, close to each other. Alec sat crossed legged, his hand on Magnus’s knee. “Tell me,” Alec began. “Why were you banned from Peru?”

Magnus smiled. “You know, I really have no clue. Last I was there was in the early sixties, shortly after Etta left. I met Kitty, and together we spend a summer of love and crime. We had such a blast, ripping off the wealthy and arrogant, spending all their money on booze and stupid trinkets. But I can’t imagine that was the reason they banned me. It was only a few months later that I received a letter from the High Council of Peruvian warlocks, saying I was banned from Peru on pain of death for crimes unspeakable. Crimes unspeakable! What could that possibly be, I wonder? I really have no idea.”

“Maybe you cast some spell gone wrong?” Alec asked.

Magnus considered that for a second, but shook his head. “I would’ve remembered. And also, might I add, my spells never go wrong. You forget I’m very good at my job. Quite excellent. I’m appalled, Alexander, appalled!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Alec smiled, holding up a hand by way of apology. “So if it wasn’t that, what else could it be? Did you rob one of them during your summer of crime?”

“Hmm. I never considered that possibility,” said Magnus.

“Maybe you could ask them if that was it, or if not, what the reason was?” Alec suggested.

“I don’t think they’ll answer me,” Magnus said.

“Maybe I could ask. They have nothing against me, I assume,” Alec tried again. “If we can get the banishment lifted, we can go to Lima on holiday.”

“You could always venture a try.” Magnus shrugged. “But I prefer Paris for a holiday. We could take the kids to Disneyland. They’d love it.”

“We could go during Christmas break,” said Alec. “Check if our padlock is still there.”

“Oh yes!” Magnus felt a spark of excitement. “We should redo our Europe trip and check all the padlocks. Rotterdam, Venice! You’re onto something!”    


Alec laughed. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, with the kids.”

“You know what? We should do it as our honeymoon,” said Magnus. “That would be wonderful.”

He wrapped an arm around Alec’s neck and pulled him close, pressing a kiss on his temple. “When we go to Rotterdam, we could check into Hotel New York again, see if that pretty receptionist is still there,” he chuckled.

“Oh yes, that sounds like a great idea.” Alec’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“You really don’t care for the ladies, do you?” Magnus informed, quietly enjoying this bit of easy banter between them.

Alec’s eyes grew wide, he was clearly appalled by the idea. “I don’t think that question is in need of answer,” he said eventually, making Magnus grin.

Magnus nipped his glass, the Scotch burned his throat a little, and he felt pleasantly lightheaded. He laid his head against Alec’s, and closed his eyes. “I think I’m going to fall asleep soon,” he murmured. “We should continue this honeymoon planning tomorrow.”

“Maybe we should plan the wedding first,” Alec suggested. He had an arm around Magnus now and brushed with a hand through his hair. “The party of the century, right?”

“Right!” Magnus sat up and yawned. “First thing in the morning.”

He stood up and pulled Alec with him. It was time to leave the past behind and focus on more pressing matters. Max and Rafe would wake up in a couple of hours, just enough time to make some sweet, sweet lovin’. Because seriously, who needs sleep when they had this beautiful Shadowhunter to love. Time was gold with Alec, and Magnus intended to make the most of it.

He took Alec’s hand and walked with him to the bedroom. “Remember London, Alexander? How we were two sides of an oreo cookie? I was thinking we could try that again.” He raised his eyebrows meaningfully and Alec laughed.

It was the most precious sound in the world.


	114. The Spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No immortality for Alec, no mortality for Magnus. What are the options? Magnus has an idea.

####  _**Magnus** _

2012 had ended and 2013 arrived. This was the year! The year in which Magnus was finally going to marry his dream man, in June, that is, they decided for a June wedding. It was still January though, five more months to go. 

Magnus was staring at his reflection in the mirror. He brushed with his index finger over his cheekbone and narrowed his eyes. Little wrinkles appeared on his temples. How would it be if they stayed there, he mused. Those wrinkles. He looked young, nineteen, twenty at the most. Wrinkles were never part of his problems.

The fact that he had stopped aging at nineteen had always seemed to be some lucky fate to him. He was gorgeous, there was no use denying that. And he never felt the need to change anything about his appearance, besides crazy hairdos or a change of makeup. But now, here he was, standing with the spell written on the paper in his hand.

He looked down on it and back to his reflection. It wasn’t a hard choice, he wasn’t doubting it, but he still needed a little time before casting it. Also, he hadn’t even discussed it with Alec yet, so maybe better wait for him to get home with the kids, before doing something this drastic.

He moved forward, his nose almost pressed against the mirror and regarded himself closely, tilting his head a bit to the side.

The bathroom door opened and Alec appeared. “Hey, there you are.”

Magnus startled and looked up. “You’re home?”

“Yeah, you didn’t notice? Max and Rafe have been screaming at each other ever since we entered the house.” Alec shook his head, a little exasperated. Their boys had developed a new thing over the last few weeks; Fighting. Apparently, it was normal for siblings to fight, although Magnus had no experience with it and was utterly amazed most of the time, seeing his children fight over the most stupid things.

“I’m older,” Rafe would say.

“But I lived here longer,” Max would reply.

And that was all it took for them to start a heated argument, which only ended if Alec or Magnus intervened and sent them to their rooms to blow off steam.

Now that Alec mentioned it, Magnus heard his kids yelling in the living room.

“You must’ve been rather far away for it to go by unnoticed,” Alec commented. “What are you thinking?”

He looked down on the piece of paper in Magnus’s hands, and his eyebrows shot up. “What’s that? Is that a spell?”

“Yes,” Magnus replied. “It’s a spell I’ve been meaning to cast just now.”

Alec stepped into the bathroom and regarded the paper closely. “What does it do? Hey, I see my name.”

“Yes, that’s because it’s a spell that’s tied to you,” Magnus explained.

“Tied to me?” Alec looked worried.

“That’s what I said,” Magnus smiled. “No need to look so scared, Alexander. It’s not going to change you into a toad or anything.”

“But what does it do?” Alec asked again.

“It’s going to age me,” Magnus said. “I’ll age when you age. That’s what I meant when I said it was tied to you. I decided I don’t want to look nineteen forever when you grow older.”

Alec looked at him incredulous. “You’re going to age?”

“Only if you are. Not really, of course. It’s just appearance. And there’s a counterspell too. If I cast that I’ll turn back to my nineteen-year-old looking self instantly.” 

“Oh,” Alec said, seemingly unfazed. He looked at Magnus in the mirror, blue eyes meeting green. “When are you going to cast that counterspell?”

“Never,” Magnus replied. “This spell is tied to you, so I technically don’t need a counter spell.”

“So you’re going to age?” Alec asked.

“Alexander, you sound like a broken record,” Magnus laughed. “But yes, that’s the idea. What do you think?”

Alec said nothing for a while, seriously considering Magnus’s question. “Why do you want it?” he asked finally.

“Because,” Magnus said, throwing his hands up in a dramatic gesture. “In thirty years or so I don’t want people thinking I’m your toyboy.”

At that Alec started laughing. “My toyboy, that’s a good one!”

Magnus laughed too, but then grew serious again. “I mean it though. I’ve never grown old with someone before. There were a few who stayed with me until they died. Most went away before that, when they felt they entered a new stage in their lives and believed I could not follow them.”

He turned his head and looked at Alec now, who nodded slowly. “But you, you want to marry me. You’re the first one who ever wanted that, you know that. I want to grow old with you. Now that we have our children, I want it even more. And I know I can’t really have it, not really grow old. But at least it can look that way.”

Alec took his hand and squeezed it. “If you want that,” he said.

“I remember Tessa, always looking about twenty-three years old. And Will was what, ninety, when he died? It just looked wrong somehow. She never cared about that. And honestly, I never cared either. But I find myself caring now.”

“Is it because I don’t want to become immortal?” Alec asked, a little uncertain.

Magnus took a step toward him and brushed a hand over his cheek. “No, Alexander. Really, don’t worry about that anymore. You were right about Asmodeus. You are mortal. We all know that. I’ve known for all my life that I will lose the people around me. It’s not something I’m used to, but it’s something I know.”

“It seems like such a harsh knowledge,” Alec stated.

“It is. But things have changed since Max. I have him to think about now. And he’s going to need me, to deal with this. It makes me happy to know he won’t be alone, ever. And that, despite all the losses he will experience, he won’t lose me.” Magnus smiled, feeling wistful.

“That makes me happy too,” Alec said. “He’s going to be so shocked though, if you turn back to your nineteen-year old self one day.”

Magnus laughed. “Oh well, he’ll learn to live with that. So does that mean you’re okay with me casting this spell?”

“I’m okay with it if you are.”

Magnus leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend on the lips. Alec wrapped his arms around him and kissed him back. In all the years they’ve been together, one thing hasn’t changed. The ardor in Alec’s touch, the enthusiasm he seemed to emanate. And Magnus loved him for that.

Another yelp coming from the living room made Alec break away. “I’d better check on them before they murder each other dead.” He smiled and brushed a hand over Magnus’s cheek.

“After our wedding we should go on a honeymoon far, far away from these brats,” Magnus suggested.

“Sounds like a plan! I’ll leave you to this.” Alec stepped out of the bathroom and hurried to the living room where the kids were still at it.

Magnus turned to stare at his reflection again. Was he ready to give up his gorgeous nineteen-year old self? He smiled at himself. More than ready. Ready to face another adventure. The adventure of domestic, married life.

He closed his eyes and started chanting the spell he wrote. The spell that would bind his age to that of Alec’s. When he was done, he felt a flash of magic go through the room, and then he opened his eyes again.

His reflection was exactly the same. It didn’t mean the spell hadn’t worked, because people age every day, but it’s never visible. Magnus wondered how long it would take before he would start to notice the difference. He leaned forward and narrowed his eyes again. 

“Hello wrinkles,” he mumbled. He smiled a wide smile then, thinking how awesome it would be to become grandpa Magnus in thirty years and look the part.

But not yet. Not now. Now he had to aid his fiancé in disciplining their children. He walked to the living room where Alec had Rafe and Max seated on the couch and was speaking to them in a stern voice. “You have plenty of toys, Max,” Alec said. “There’s absolutely no need to take Spider Man away from Rafe.”

“But Max wanna play with Spider Man too,” said Max, indignant.

Magnus’s way of solving this would be to conjure up a second Spider Man, but he knew Alec wouldn’t have it. They’d had to learn to deal with real problems in life, and they couldn’t always get what they wanted, that was Alec’s philosophy.

Magnus leaned against the doorway looking at his family, while Alec explained this exact same thing to his sons.

When Rafe noticed him he started speaking to him in Spanish, explaining to him how mean Max had been, snatching his toys away from him. But Magnus shook his head. “Listen to Daddy,” he said to Rafe. “He’s solving this now, not me.”

If he had learned one thing over the years of parenthood, it was that he needed to form one front with Alec. If he’d say one thing and Alec the other, their kids would play them like they were music instruments. If Alec was dealing with the issue, Magnus knew he had only need to back him up, and not interfere. And Alec was very capable of dealing with it adequately. Obviously. He was a Lightwood, after all.

When Alec was done with the lecture, which included the virtue of sharing toys and playing nice, Max and Rafe went to play together dutifully. Magnus walked over to the couch and plopped down on it. “You handled that very nicely,” he said to Alec. “Where they like this in the Institute as well?”

“No,” Alec said. “Max was with Maryse during Rafe’s classes and training.”

They started Rafe’s training soon after coming home from Idris. He needed to be educated on all the important Shadowhunter stuff, and he needed to learn how to fight. Magnus thought it was ridiculously early, to fight at the age of five, but Alec assured him it was normal. 

“He’s only learning the basics now. I started learning the different types of weapons and how to use them when I was four. We’re Shadowhunters, we start early with everything. And besides, it’s good for Jace too, gives him something to do.”

That last part seemed to be true. In the Fall, when Alec and Magnus had come back from their trip to Bali, Jace had been playing with Rafe all day. Alec decided to leave him in charge of training Rafe. To say it made him happy was too big of a statement, but it gave him something to do at least. Something that felt useful.

And Alec reasoned that it took away any reason the Clave might have to move Rafe to Idris. He was still a bit afraid of that. Thinking the Clave would prefer a good Shadowhunter training for Rafe over being raised by a Downworlder. Now that the Cold Peace was over and Downworlder rights were equal to those of Shadowhunters, Magnus thought the chance wasn’t big that the Clave would do that. Besides, he was Rafe’s parent, it was official. Yet, having Rafe trained by the best Shadowhunter the twenty-first century had to offer did increase his chances of staying in New York.

Magnus looked over at his kids, now seemingly at peace with each other, playing with building blocks. One day Max would start training too, that would be his job, to teach his son the way of magic. But today they would play. Let them be young, let them be children for as long as possible.

Alec came with a mug of coffee and handed it to him. He went to sit next to him on the couch. “And, did you cast the spell?”

Magnus nodded. Alec looked at him closely. “I don’t see anything,” he commented.

“Of course not,” Magnus laughed. “I’m going to age one day at a time, just like you. It’s not like you change that much.”

“I haven’t changed since you met me?” Alec asked.

“Yes, you have. You’ve changed a lot,” Magnus said. “From a boy to a man. And a beautiful one, besides. But today you look the same as you did yesterday. Gorgeous.”

Alec smiled his beautiful smile, the one that light up his face. “As do you,” he said. “I’m sure I won’t even notice it, that spell. You’ll always be beautiful to me.”

“Don’t I know that! You wonderful Shadowhunter,” Magnus smiled. “Now, what about going to the McDonalds for dinner tonight?"

Max and Rafe both overheard him, their heads shot up from their game. “Yes!” they cried out simultaneously, seemingly forgotten that they were each other’s nemesis only minutes ago.

Max got up and bolted to the couch. He bumped into Magnus, making him spill his coffee over his newest pair of designer jeans. “Why, Max, why?” Magnus said, dramatically.

Max looked remorseful for a few seconds, and then lifted his eyes to face Magnus. They were glittering with excitement. “Can I have happy meal. There are minions.”

“Minions?” Alec required, he clearly had no idea what Max was talking about.

“Yes! Minions!” Rafe added. “Minions are cool.”

Alec looked more and more confused. “Aren’t minions like the evil helpers of Satan or something?”

“Ah, no,” Magnus shook his head. “Satan has Djinns. Did you know I dated a Djinn once? Not a good idea. If the Djinn is evil, it can possess you. It almost ended very badly for me. Fortunately I broke up with him before things got out of hand. I mean, if he had managed to possess me, that could’ve been bad. Not just for me, but you know, for the world and everyone in it. Since I’m quite powerful and that Djinn was quite evil.”

He found three pairs of eyes staring at him in horror and couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry. You all didn’t want to know about that?”

“Obviously not,” said Alec. “One, because it wasn’t helpful. I still have no clue what minions are. Two. Because it was a horrible story. And three, because you’re being an incredible show off.”

“What? Now I’m offended,” Magnus chuckled. “Of course you’re right, I am a show off. And minions, my dear Alexander, are the happy, yellow helpers of Dru, the main character of Despicable Me. Don’t you remember? I’m pretty sure we’ve seen that movie back in 2010.”

Alec shrugged. Magnus took out his phone and showed him a picture. “Does this ring any bells?”

“Oh yes, now I remember,” Alec said, looking at the picture of Dru, surrounded by three minions. “Those yellow capsules without shoulders. It’s so unrealistic, because if they don’t have shoulders, there’s nothing that can uphold the ridiculous dungarees they’re wearing.”

“Say, weren’t you the one with the motto ‘All stories are true’?” inquired Magnus.

“Yeah, that doesn’t include ridiculous stories made up in Hollywood,” Alec shot back. “And that is not the Lightwood motto. Our motto is ‘We mean well.’”

“Isn’t that sweet?” Magnus said, picking up Max and bouncing him on his lap. “They mean well, Max. Isn’t that great? They insult minions but they mean well. Maybe I should magic up some real minions. Show Alexander how great they are. They can accompany Chairman Meow on his mouse hunt and be a great addition to our series of pets.”

Max giggled, indicating he thought it a great idea. Rafe had taken hold of the cat. He sat on the ground crossed-legged, stroking the Chairman over his back. He seemed to enjoy that, as he was purring loudly.

“We don’t have a series of pets. We only have the one,” Alec pointed out, he stood up and retrieved a new mug of coffee for Magnus from the kitchen. When he came back and handed it to him, he smiled playfully. “And what are you saying  _ ‘They  _ mean well.’ It’s  _ ‘We  _ mean well,’ mister Lightwood-Bane, holding your son who is also called Lightwood-Bane. You’re part of this family now, it’s your motto too.”

“Okay, okay!” Magnus said, sipping from his coffee. “We mean well! We all mean well, we’re one happy family who always mean everyone well. Except for that Djinn.”

“I hope that Djinn won’t come back and take revenge,” Alec said. “Since they are ghosts and sort of immortal. I hear they can hold a grudge for a long time.”

“Yeah.” Magnus waved Alec’s comment away. “The real question is: why wait until it’s evening before going to the Mac. Apparently they have minions with their happy meal. I don’t really understand why, because the next movie won’t be out until the summer, but who cares. Let’s go.”

Max and Rafe were happy to go, and in the end Alec didn’t mind going either. Not that McDonalds had such good burgers, but it made the children happy, and that was what counted. They walked to the nearest McDonalds in Brooklyn, where they ate burgers and French fries. For dessert all four of them had a McFlurry with blue sprinkles on top. Rafe and Max each got a nice plastic minion, and Magnus had a mind to animate them, thinking that would be incredibly funny.

Back home in their loft he worked on a spell to temporarily animate non-living objects, and tried it on the two minions. It worked fairly well. They were able to run around and talk with those high-pitched minion voices. The kids were delighted.

“Banana!!!” screamed one of the minions. The other one raised his hands in pure enjoyment and repeated his friend. “Banana, banana, banana!”

“I think they’re broken,” Magnus observed. “They can only say ‘banana’.”

“That’s what they always say,” informed Rafe. “It’s either banana or something incomprehensible.”

“Is that so?” Magnus said, smiling down at his son. “You’re so smart.”

“Bli bleck blu,” said one of the minions.

Rafe laughed. “Bla di doi,” he replied.

Max joined in the conversation as well, the two of them having a blast with the yellow capsules, as Alec had called them.

Alec was seated at the table, regarding his sons with an amused smile on his lips. Magnus got up, walked over to him and wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck. “See, new pets!” he said gleefully.

“We’d better get some bananas. I gather that’s all they eat,” Alec said.

“This spell only works for a few hours,” Magnus admitted. “No bananas necessary.”

Alec’s phone started ringing. He took it out and read the ID. “Hi Mom,” he said.

Magnus heard Maryse on the other end of the line speaking rapidly, clearly something was going on in the Institute.

“Yeah, I’m on my way,” Alec replied. “Be there in half an hour. Is that soon enough or should I ask Magnus to make a Portal?”

Maryse gave a quick reply and Alec hung up the phone. “I have to go,” he said, standing up. “There’s a werewolf in the Institute causing trouble.”

“That sounds very pressing indeed,” Magnus stated. He kind of liked the fact that Maryse called Alec for a werewolf situation. They really relied on him for these kinds of problems.

Alec walked to the door and shrugged on his jacket. “I’ll call Maia on the way,” he said as he was about to leave. His hand on the doorknob, he turned suddenly and crossed the room with long strides. “Forgetting something extremely important.”

He moved toward Magnus and pressed a kiss on his lips. “Love you.”

Magnus smiled. “Love you too, honey. Now go! We’ll be here when you get back.”

Alec was out of the door, his phone already pressed against his ear. Magnus heard him say Maia’s name as the door shut. He turned to play with his kids and the minions, who were still engaged in a deep and very meaningful conversation.

“Di bla fi di ka,” said Max.

“Bloi doi sa di,” Magnus joined in.

The minions roared with laughter. Magnus knew it, even in this made up language, he was freaking hilarious.


	115. A Werewolf Situation

####  **_Alec_ **

When Alec arrived at the door of the Institute, Isabelle was already waiting for him. “Alec, hurry, it seems to have gotten out of hand. Jace is fighting the werewolf,” she told him, while grabbing him by the sleeve.

“What? Why?” Alec asked, hurrying after his sister toward the elevator.

“He turned after Jace pissed him off with some witty comments,” Isabelle explained.

They stepped into the rickety elevator together, Isabelle tapping the button for the first floor.

“He turned? Inside the Institute? Wow, that’s a new one,” Alec sighed. Typical of Jace to piss off a young werewolf. When Maryse called, all she said was that there was a situation with a werewolf. And now this had happened.

The elevator arrived at the first floor and they hurried toward the parlor. “I called Maia,” Alec told Isabelle. “She said it’s probably no one from her pack, but she’s heading here regardless.”

“He’s new,” Isabelle said. “He turned for the first time last night. Was pretty upset when he came here.”

They entered the parlor, where they saw Jace standing in front of an ash blond wolf, his hands outstretched, a seraph blade in one of them. The wolf was snarling at him, bearing his teeth.

“Jace, put the weapon away,” Alec said. “It makes him aggressive, he thinks you’re attacking him.”

“I’m not attacking him, he’s attacking me,” retorted Jace.

“Okay.” Alec stepped further into the room, approaching the wolf from the back. “Put the blade away, Jace. We’ll do this the old fashioned way. You distract him, I’ll wrestle him down, and we’ll make him turn back.”

Jace looked over the wolf into Alec’s eyes. “You know he understands English, even in wolf form,” he rolled his eyes.

Alec shook his head. “Have you forgotten everything Hodge taught us. He’s new at this, he’s scared and pushed into a corner. He’s not listening to us, now put the blade away.”

Alec thought back to his first date with Magnus. How they handled a similar situation then. He’d felt uncomfortable with Magnus’s magic, used as he was to training with Jace. But Magnus had proved his worth, distracting the wolf with a web of blue light. Now, Alec wished Magnus were here to do this with him. At the moment he’d made a better partner than his own parabatai, weird enough.

Jace finally did what Alec asked. The wolf growled and padded forward, approaching him. He held both his hands upwards in defense. “Hurry up, Alec!”

And Alec jumped. He wrapped his arms around the neck of the wolf and pressed his knee into his flank. The wolf thrashed, kicking Alec with his hind legs. He tried craning his neck, to bite, his teeth snapping. “Jace, a rope,” Alec ordered.

Jace was already there and quickly wound the rope around the nose and jaws of the wolf, so he couldn’t bite.

“There, there,” Alec said in soothing voice. He stroked with one hand over the wolf’s back, trying to calm him down. “Now, turn,” he coaxed.

Isabelle was standing over them, watching the wolf.

Alec turned his head toward her. “What’s his name?”

“Colin,” she replied.

“Colin,” Alec repeated, continuing to pat the wolf. “Turn back, you can do it.”

The wolf seemed to calm down, and suddenly bones started to pop and his fur fell away. The next moment Alec was hugging a half naked, well-trained, blond boy. He let him go and sat back, giving him an encouraging smile.

The boy sat back and scowled at him. Alec extended a hand. “Hi, I’m Alec. And you’re Colin, I assume?”

The boy nodded and took his hand reluctantly. He seemed about twenty years old, his blond hair falling in waves over his forehead, his green eyes stared at Alec.

“I’m here,” said a voice behind them. Alec turned to see Maia standing in the doorway.

“Ah, good. Maia, this is Colin,” Alec pointed to the boy. “Colin, this is Maia, she’s the leader of the New York werewolf pack.”

Colin stared at Maia in amazement. “There’s a whole pack of them?”

Jace, who had left the room, came back and tossed Colin a shirt. “Here you go, a sign of good will.”

Colin grabbed the shirt and put it on, covering up his naked upper body. He was wearing a pair of cut up jeans underneath, which seemed a cold choice in the middle of January. He put on the blue sneakers that were lying on the floor. They must have fallen off when he turned.

Alec scrambled off from the floor, and pulled Colin up with him. “Maybe we should go with Maia for a drink. She can explain things to you.” Colin looked distraught and Alec felt the urge to reassure him.  “It’s going to be fine, you’re going to figure it all out.”

Colin looked from Maia to Alec and back to Maia. “You are the leader of a werewolf pack?” he asked.

Maia nodded and smiled at him. “Let’s go for a beer, and I can tell you all about it.”

“I’m not twenty-one yet,” said Colin.

“That’s not a problem when you’re a werewolf,” Maia said. “Come on, I’ll pay. And Alec can join us.”

She turned to Alec. “We’re going to the Hunters Moon, you’ll pass it on your way home anyway.

“You don’t live here?” asked Colin. “I thought all the Shadowhunters lived here. That’s what the vampire told me.”

“What vampire?” Alec asked.

“I was turned last night and I had no idea what happened. When I turned back I was walking through a neighborhood I didn’t know and ran into him. He had dreads and he looked nice enough. Wanted to help me, even though I was scared enough to meet a vampire.” Colin smiled a nervous smile, making the curves in his cheeks stand out. He was a beautiful boy, Alec noticed, now that he had calmed down a bit. “He told me to go here, to the Shadowhunters. I don’t even know what Shadowhunters are.”

“Sounds like you met Elliott,” said Alec. “And we are Shadowhunters.” He waved his arms, indicating Jace, Isabelle and Maryse who had come to check in on them. “We hunt demons.”

“Demons?” Colin’s eyes widened. “They exist?”

Alec nodded. “They do. And we are here to protect mundanes and Downworlders against them. Now that you’re a werewolf, you belong to the Downworld.”

Colin looked horrified.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Alec hastened to say. “Maia belongs to it. So does my boyfriend. It’s nothing to be scared of.”

“Come on,” Maia said. “Let’s go have that drink.”

Alec said goodbye to the others and the three of them filed into the elevator to take them out of the Institute and into New York.

“So you don’t live here with your family?” Colin asked once they were out on the street.

“How did you know they were my family?” Alec asked.

Colin rolled with his eyes and smiled a wide smile. Once again Alec noticed those cute little curves in his cheeks as he laughed. They made him look younger than his twenty years. “Everyone can see that the girl with the black hair is your sister, and the older woman looks exactly like her, so she must be your mother.”

“You are right about that,” said Alec. “But I don’t live with them. I live with my fiancé and our two sons in Brooklyn.”

“Speaking about that,” Maia said. “When are Magnus and you getting married. You set a date yet?”

Alec shook his head. “Not yet. We’re thinking of a Spring wedding. Somewhere in June. You know Magnus, he needs time to plan it. It’s going to be the party of the century, so he says.”

Maia laughed. “That does sound like him.”

They took the subway to the Hunter’s Moon. Once inside, Maia ordered beer and they sat down at a table. A Shadowhunter inside the Hunter’s Moon would have turned heads years ago. But Alec was a well known figure in Downworld New York now. His bond with Maia and Lily, and the many issues they had solved together over the past years, made every Downworlder trust him now. The fact that he was engaged to be married with the High Warlock of Brooklyn did help matters along.

“Hey Alec, good to see you.” Ralph, a burly man in his early forties came over to the table. “How is everything in the Lightwood-Bane casa? It’s been ages since we had a party there. You have to tell Magnus to throw one soon.”

“Will do, Ralph,” Alec said. “I’m sure Magnus will be happy to organize one soon. Rafe’s birthday is coming up.”

“Aaah, that’s so nice!” Ralph smiled. “How old will he be? Five, six?”

“Six,” Alec said. “He’s really excited about it. He’s becoming a real Shadowhunter, he wants weapons for his birthday.” He shook his head at Ralph. “I don’t think it’s the best idea.”

Ralph laughed. “I remember when Casey turned six. He wanted a sword for his birthday. We gave him a Spider-Man suit instead.”

“Oh, that might work,” said Alec. “Rafe likes Spider-Man.”

Ralph punched Alec’s shoulder. “Make sure to invite us. Casey would love to come.”

He walked off, and Alec turned his attention to Colin and Maia. She was just explaining to him how the hierarchy worked in her pack. “Bat, my husband, is my second in command. And Ralph, that guy Alec was talking to just now, is my third.”

“And what do you do?” Colin asked. “Do you live normal lives or what?

“Some of us have normal jobs. Bat is a DJ. And we run a Chinese Take-out, that’s our home base. And this bar is a werewolf bar.” Maia took a sip of her beer. “And on Tuesdays, Lily and I go to Alec’s to discuss Downworlder issues.”

“Who’s Lily?” Colin asked, looking at Alec.

“She’s the head of the vampire clan,” Alec answered. “If you want, you can come with Maia next Tuesday. You can meet her and see how we handle things.”

“Yeah, good idea,” said Maia. “It could be part of your initiation into our pack. That is, if you want to be in our pack. Do you remember what happened to you?”

Colin hesitated, but then he started speaking. “It was only two days ago when I was out with my older brother, Tommy. We were hiking in New Jersey when a wolf attacked us. He bit both of us. I’m very worried about Tom, because I haven’t seen him since the attack. I mean, we both went to the nearest hospital where we got stitched up. We had to stay the night, and when I woke up the next morning he was gone. Then, when the night came, I changed, and I had no idea what was happening. I came to in the middle of Manhattan, that’s when I met Elliott.”

“So you still don’t know where your brother is?” Alec asked. “You’ve been to your house? I mean, do you two live together?”

“We do, actually. We have an apartment in Harlem. I’ve been there, but Tommy wasn’t home.” Colin raked a hand through his blond curls, making a mess out of them.

“Do you have something of his?” Alec asked. He felt sorry for the boy, scared as he was for his older brother. Alec could relate to that. Even though Izzy could take care of herself, he always worried for her. And then there was Jace to think about. He was never far from Alec’s mind.

“Something of his?” Colin asked. He reached to his neck, where a pendant hung on a leather cord. “This is his, he left it in the hospital.”

“Can I have it? I might be able to track him,” Alec said.

Colin removed the cord from his neck and handed it to him. “You can find out where he is?”

Alec nodded as he took the necklace from Colin. He retrieved his stele from his pocket and drew a tracking rune on the back of his hand. He clasped the pendant between his hands and closed his eyes. He saw a street looming  behind his closed eyelids. He recognized the buildings, it was a street in Harlem.

“He’s in New York,” Alec said. “Somewhere in Harlem. We could go there, do you want that?”

Colin was instantly on his feet. His green eyes were blazing. “Yes, I want to go,” he said.

“Do you want me to come?” Maia asked.

“It’s not necessary,” Alec said. “If you want to go home to the baby?”

Maia nodded, “I need to feed her.”

Colin and Alec set off together after saying goodbye to Maia. Colin exchanged phone numbers with her and promised to meet with her again the next day.

The two of them took the subway to Harlem, where Alec led Colin to the right neighborhood. “He has to be here somewhere,” he said, standing still in the street he saw through the tracking rune.

“I recognize this, it’s close to our house,” Colin said.

They came to a stand next to an alley. Alec looked around and saw something moving behind a dumpster. He ran toward it and saw a young man crouching on the ground. He jumped up when he saw Alec and threw himself at him. Alec moved his arm, blocking himself and the boy went flying.

“Tommy!” Colin yelled. He came surging forward and knelt down next to the boy.

Alec hurried forward and crouched down next to him. “Are you okay?”

The boy had the same ash blond hair as Colin, but his eyes were blue. They were wide as he stared at Alec, and from Alec to Colin. “Colin?”

“Where have you been, Tom?” Colin asked.

Tom sat up, his hair disheveled, a wild look in his eyes. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m so confused.”

“Maybe we should get off the streets,” Alec suggested. “Your house is close by, isn’t it?”

Colin nodded as he hauled his brother up. He seemed physically okay, albeit a bit disheveled. The three of them walked through the street. The apartment was a few blocks further east.

Alec and Colin got Tom inside and installed him on the couch. Colin retrieved a glass of water and handed it to Tommy. Alec sat down on the chair across from the sofa. “Can you tell me what happened?” he asked Tommy.

Tommy drank the entire glass of water and nodded gratefully to Colin. “I don’t know what happened,” he told Alec. “I remember leaving the hospital. I remember running for hours. And then I blacked out. I woke up next to that dumpster, and I have no idea how I got there.”

He leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes, he seemed pretty beat.

Alec locked eyes with Colin. “Sounds like he’s changed too,” he said softly.

Colin nodded.

Alec checked his phone, it was way past midnight and he had a missed call from Magnus. “Maybe you should both get some sleep and come by my house tomorrow. We can talk things through. Or meet with Maia?” He suggested.

Colin nodded again. Alec stood up and dialed Magnus’s number. “Hi, honey,” Magnus sounded upbeat on the other end of the line. “I was just wondering if you were spending the night in the Institute or did you plan on coming home?”

“I’m coming home, obviously,” Alec answered. “I’m in Harlem, but I’m on my way now. See you in a bit.”

“Harlem? Okay. Be careful of the vampires,” Magnus advised.

“When am I ever not careful?” Alec replied and hung up the phone.

Tommy and Colin were still seated on the couch. “You should both get some sleep,” Alec said. He grabbed a notepad from the table and scrawled down his address and phone number. “Call me,” he said to Colin, before heading to the door.

Colin followed him to see him out. At the door he placed a hand on Alec’s arm. “Thank you, for helping us,” he said, his green eyes fixed on Alec’s.

Alec smiled an encouraging smile at him. “Of course, that’s what we’re here for.”

He turned and walked down the stairs, checking on his phone where the nearest subway station was. The phone buzzed in his hands, and he saw a text from an unknown number.

_Really thank you for helping me find Tommy today. I owe you. Colin McPhearson._

It sure had been interesting, Alec thought, this evening with Colin McPhearson. He hurried toward the subway when he saw it was a good fifty minutes travel to get home. Once inside he called Magnus again to tell him his estimated time of arrival.

“I’ll make sure a glass of wine will be ready when you arrive,” Magnus said. “Or do you want something stronger?”

“No, wine’s fine,” Alec smiled. “Thank you.”

When he finally arrived home, Magnus awaited him in the doorway, a glass of wine in his hand as promised. “Hi, honey.” he kissed him softly on the lips. “You had a rough night?”

“A long night, but it was quite interesting,” Alec said. He took the wine and followed Magnus into the apartment. He told Magnus everything, from Jace aggravating the werewolf to finding Tommy behind a dumpster. “I’ve told Colin to come here tomorrow if they want to,” he ended his story. “I hope that’s okay with you.”

“Of course,” Magnus said. “I’m used to training baby Downworlders. You know I trained Raphael when he was just turned. And we can add a bunch of wolves to our ever growing series of pets.”

Alec furrowed his brow. “Series of pets?”

“Yeah, you remember the minions? I have a mind to animate them indefinitely,” Magnus said.

Alec laughed and ruffled Magnus’s hair. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. Rafe and Max would get crazy.”

“But they’re hilarious,” Magnus announced.

“That is very true,” Alec agreed. “But I also think they have ADHD. That, combined with two wolves? I don’t know. I feel bad for the Chairman.”

“Can’t have that,” Magnus smiled. “The Chairman does deserve our very best efforts. We should throw him a party.”

Alec smiled, sipping his wine. “Speaking of parties─Ralph says hi and asks when you’re going to throw one. I was thinking we could have a party for Rafe. His birthday’s coming up.”

“Yeah!” Magnus’s eyes sparkled, making him look as gorgeous as ever. “I have the greatest idea for a birthday party for him. It contains minions and werewolves. It’s going to be awesome!”

Alec wrapped an arm around his fiancé and pulled him close. “I know it will be.”


	116. The Werewolf Situation Gets Complicated

**_Alec_ **

Magnus suggested to go shopping with the kids, to buy Rafe some presents. Just when they were to leave Max emptied a large glass of milk over his head―he didn’t want to drink it per Alec’s request, so this was his solution to that problem.

Magnus took him to the bathroom to get him freshened up and put him in clean clothes. Alec was wiping the floor with a mob when the doorbell rang. He answered the phone, “Hello?”

“Hi Alec, it’s Colin,” said the recently turned werewolf boy at the other end of the receiver. Alec buzzed him in and opened the door.

Colin had come with Tommy the day after they met in the Institute. Alec and Magnus had spend a whole afternoon explaining to them how the Downworld worked, what the role of the Shadowhunters was, and what the options were for Colin and Tommy, now that they were turned.

They’d asked them hundreds of questions about their new lives as werewolves. Tommy had a girlfriend. He had plans to ask her to marry him, and he wondered if he still could. Alec had told him the story of the werewolf girl he and Magnus had helped on their first date, and how she had been in a relationship with a mundane girl. “It can work,” Alec had assured Tommy. “If she loves you, and you love her, it doesn’t need to be a problem at all.”

Eventually, Magnus suggested they’d go to Maia for further advice and information. She was the expert after all. She’d brought Colin with her that Tuesday to their regular meeting. He’d decided to join her pack and was excited to learn more. Alec liked the boy, he was enthusiastic, yet he had a calming presence. It was easy to talk to him, and Alec felt he could actually help him as he was finding his way in the shadow world. It felt good to be able to help.

Alec didn’t know why he was here today though. He hurried up the stairs and gave him a smile when he arrived. “Hi!”

“Hi Colin,” Alec said. “How are you?”

“Good, good. Yeah, I was… in the neighborhood. I brought you something,” Colin said, handing him a plastic bag. Alec took it and looked inside. He saw a blue and red costume.

“It’s a Spider-Man costume, for Rafe,” Colin explained. “I remembered Ralph saying something to you about it.”

“But shouldn’t you give it to Rafe on his birthday?” Alec asked, surprised.

“Yeah, that would’ve made more sense,” Colin admitted, smiling apologetically.

Alec invited him in and offered him coffee. Magnus entered the living room with a clean and beaming Max, who was wearing new clothes. A pair of dark blue jeans with a blue and silver striped button down shirt. “Papa got me these,” he told Alec happily.

“So I see,” Alec smiled and looked up at Magnus, shaking his head slightly. “Couldn’t help yourself, I suppose?”

Magnus shrugged carelessly. “I like them. Well, hello Colin. Nice to see you again.” He gave Colin a scrutinizing look, but then his phone started ringing.

“Who calls upon the High Warlock of Brooklyn?” Magnus thundered into the receiver.

Alec shook his head, smiling, and went to the kitchen to get Colin a coffee. Back in the living room, Rafe pulled Alec’s arm. “Are we going shopping?”

“Soon,” Alec promised. “Colin and I will drink our coffee first, and we’ll wait for Papa to finish his phone call, and then we’ll go.”

Max approached Colin, showing him the minions―they weren’t animated anymore, but they were still Max’s favorite toys of the moment. Colin took one and engaged in the incomprehensible minion speech. Alec watched the two with amusement.

Magnus entered the room. “That was my annoying client,” he grumbled. “She needs me to come, because apparently there’s an ‘emergency’ with the unicorn.” He rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Do you need to go now?” Alec asked.

“But we’re supposed to go shopping,” said Rafe, a look of thorough disappointment on his face.

“I could come shopping,” Colin suggested. “I happen to like shopping.”

Magnus grabbed his long, black coat, the one he usually wore when meeting difficult clients, and shrugged it on. “Sounds like a plan, as long as you don’t spend all my money,” he said, giving Colin a wink. “I’d better go, so I’ll be home before dinner.”

He kissed Alec on the lips and stalked out of the house.

Alec finished his coffee and got up to dress the boys in warm winter jackets. Colin got up too, and helped Max zip up his coat.

“Are you sure you don’t mind coming with us?” Alec asked. “I suppose you have better things to do?”

Colin shrugged. “Not really. And I do enjoy shopping.”

They went to Manhattan where they entered the huge Toys-R-Us store on 6 th  Avenue. Max and Rafe discussed which monster truck was the best and the fastest. Colin entered in the discussion, giving his honest opinion about color and size. Finally, Rafe decided on a red one, which kind of surprised Alec, since he’d always preferred blue.

With the toys packed and stored in plastic bags, the four of them headed to the cinema to watch a children’s matinee of Despicable Me. Afterward, they drank coffee at the coffee shop on the corner, and Max and Rafe got lemonade with cookies. 

“This was nice,” said Colin, smiling up at Alec from the other side of the table. “Thanks for taking me with you.”

“Of course, no problem,” Alec said. “How are you? Getting the hang of being a werewolf?”

Colin laughed, his green eyes were sparkling. “Yeah. I realized there are actually positive sides to it. I can run so much faster now. Also, my senses have sharpened. I can see better, smell better. Oh, I’ve been to Taki’s last night with Ralph and Roy. What a restaurant! We ate steak, as rare as you can get it. I guess my taste has changed too, I used to be a vegetarian.”

Alec smiled. “I remember Simon being a vegetarian, and then he turned into a vampire. That was a tough break for him.”

“Simon’s Isabelle’s fiancé, right?” Colin asked.

Alec nodded, and saw Max spill his drink from the corner of his eyes. He reached out a hand fast, and Colin did the same, even faster than he did. They both clasped their hands around the glass. Or, at least, Colin’s was around the glass, and Alec’s around Colin’s. He let go of him and smiled appreciatively. “Fast reflexes,” he commented.

“Yeah, that’s another thing that changed,” Colin said.

After coffee Colin insisted on going back with Alec to Brooklyn, to deliver him and the kids home. At the front door he said goodbye, after assuring he’d come to Rafe’s party the next day.

* * *

 

Magnus had chosen ‘minions’ as the theme for Rafe’s party. The whole apartment was yellow. There were minions everywhere. Pictures of minions on the walls, minion coasters, minion hats, a minion cake. Even the streamers consist of minions. Rafe and Max were ecstatic about it.

The party started halfway the afternoon and would last until after dinner. There wasn’t a real dinner scheduled, Magnus had hired a caterer who had arranged for dozens of different snacks. There were mini burgers and fries for the children, and different kinds of tapas, salmon en croute, roasted chicken and baked potatoes for the adults.

Lily came just after sunset, with Eliott and a few other vampires. Ralph had brought his wife, Mariette, and their two kids, Casey and Sara. There were a bunch of other werewolves as well, including Maia and Bat, and of course Colin came together with Tommy and his girlfriend.

Casey and Rafe were running around, practicing flips. Rafe had been learning a few moves from Jace over the last week.

Jace and Simon were sitting at the table, both of them seemed distracted and elsewhere with their thoughts. Alec knew it meant they missed Clary. He felt it in his parabatai rune, Jace’s pain mingled with his own.

“What’s with them?” Colin stood by Alec’s side, his head indicating Jace and Simon.

“We lost one of our own, about half a year ago,” Alec replied. “Clary was Jace’s girlfriend and Simon’s parabatai.”

Colin regarded the two boys and then turned to face Alec. “What’s a parabatai?”

Alec rolled up his sleeve and showed Colin the Rune. “Parabatai are brothers in arms. Best friends who fight together, who know each other’s moves, who trust each other’s instinct. Jace is my parabatai. When he moves, I move. What he feels, I feel.” Alec sighed. “I feel his pain now and it breaks my heart that I can’t do anything to make it better for him.”

“We forge the chains we wear in life,” Colin said softly.

“What?” Alec raised his eyebrows in surprise.

Colin shrugged apologetically. “It’s a Dickens quote. You’re hurt because of him, and yet you chose to feel this way, because you love him. It chains you down, yet you were the one who forged the chain. I get it, I really do. To not be able to do anything about it must suck for you.”

“It isn’t the best,” Alec agreed. He heard a yelp behind him, and saw Rafe jump over the couch, Casey following him.

“That’s enough,” Alec grabbed his son under his arm. “No more practicing flips in the living room during a party. Someone could get hurt. You two go play with the cars, with Max.”

Rafe and Casey sputtered a bit in protest, but eventually went to the corner of the room where Magnus sat with Max, who was playing with Sara, Casey’s younger sister.

Maia approached Alec, gently bouncing her baby girl on her arm. “Nice party,” she said.

“It’s all Magnus’s doing.” Alec smiled as he watched his boyfriend making animals out of balloons and waved them in front of the children. He looked through the room, feeling happy to see all his loved ones, friends, and family gathered for Rafe’s birthday. He felt the loss of Clary, Catarina and his father, who were supposed to be here too. But then his eye fell on Colin who was talking to Lily, and he appreciated this new friendship that had arrived. Colin looked up, locking eyes with Alec, as if he felt Alec had been looking at him.

“How’s Colin doing?” Alec asked Maia.

She frowned at him, making him wonder if something was wrong. “He’s settling in. His brother’s girlfriend moved in with him, and Colin went to live with the werewolves in the Chinese Take-Out. He seems to enjoy it.” She hesitated for a second. “But he seems to enjoy spending his time here even more.”

“What do you mean?” said Alec, aware that Maia was hinting at something.

Maia rolled her eyes at him. “Oh Alec, I sometimes don’t understand how you can be so oblivious. He’s clearly into you. And I feel you’re leading him on. Obviously not on purpose, but still. I’d appreciate it if you would create some distance.”

Alec froze, and his mouth fell open as he stared at her. “What? No. That can’t be true,” he stammered.

“Oh, but it is,” Maia said.

Alec was stunned and had no idea how to react or what to say. Could this really be true? He thought back to yesterday, when Colin had dropped by and spent the afternoon with him. They’d had a good time, but it hadn’t meant anything, had it? Was Maia right? Had he led him on?

He cast a careful glance at Colin again, but he was engaged in a conversation with Lily and Roy, another young werewolf. Alec turned and went to sit next to Jace at the table, his head resting in his hands, not sure what to do about what Maia had told him.

* * *

The party had been fun but tiring. Around nine in the evening the last guests had left, and Alec put a still excited Rafe in bed. Max had been brought to bed an hour earlier, under high protest.

He walked back to the living room, sinking down on the couch, lost in thought. He felt frustrated about Colin. And he didn’t want it to be true. He liked him, and he liked spending time with him. But if Colin had feelings for him, than Maia was right and he needed to create distance. And honestly, he didn’t want that. He’d enjoyed having a friend who wasn’t in constant mourning, however heartless that made him seem. He ached for Jace’s loss constantly, and it was upsetting that he couldn’t do anything for him. So upsetting, that this friendship with Colin had felt as a relief.

Magnus plopped down on the couch next to him and placed a hand on his knee. “What’s wrong, honey?”

Alec shook his head to clear it. “Maia said something to me today,” he said.

“What is it?” Magnus probed when Alec didn’t elaborate.

“She said Colin has feelings for me,” Alec admitted. He looked up into Magnus’s eyes. His face was unreadable, leaving him without a clue on Magnus’s thoughts on the matter. “And I don’t know if that’s true. But if it is, it truly sucks.”

“It’s true,” Magnus replied.

Alec frowned. “How do you know that?”

“Because, my dear Alexander, I’m an expert people reader,” Magnus said, sitting back on the couch, wrapping his one leg over the other. “I saw it that day he came to visit us with Tommy.”

“What?” Alec’s voice shot up. This piece of information aggravated him to no end. “You knew since the day you met him? Are you serious? And you didn’t think to tell me this? Why not?”

Magnus sighed. “I just thought you’d figure it out by yourself,” he said. “I didn’t feel like telling you something that was so obvious.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything to me, Magnus,” Alec said, sitting up. “I wouldn’t have spend that much time with him if I knew. And what about the other day, when he went shopping with me? You were okay with it, why?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?” Magnus asked. “I mean, he’s in love with you, but it’s not the other way around. Is it?” He looked concerned now.

“Of course not.” Alec shook his head. “But I like him, Magnus. And I thought I’d gained a friend. I didn’t even know he was gay.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Magnus said, rolling his eyes at him.

It rubbed Alec the wrong way. He stood up. “Okay, you actually made me a bit pissed off now. I’m going to go talk to Colin about it. I want to know his side of the story.”

Magnus stood up too. “I’m sorry, Alec. I didn’t mean to make you mad. Do you really think it’s a good idea to talk to Colin, though?” he asked.

“Yes, I do,” Alec said. “You and Maia are just making assumptions. And I want to know if they are correct or not.”

He grabbed his jacket and walked out of the house. On the way out he texted Colin, asking him to meet him at the Hunter’s Moon. He replied almost instantly.

_ Sure. I’m on my way, see you there. _

When he entered the bar, Colin was already there, sitting at the bar with Roy. Once he noticed Alec he got up and went with him to sit at a table in the corner. He handed Alec a beer. 

“I hope you don’t mind I ordered one for you? It’s an IPA, the best beer England makes, even though I prefer Irish beer, obviously.” He smiled, the curves in his cheeks standing out and his green eyes were glittering.

Now that Alec knew what Magnus and Maia thought about Colin, he understood where they were coming from. The way he looked at him had a sort of intensity to it.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Alec said.

“What about?” Colin asked, sipping his beer.

“About me,” Alec started, hesitantly. Colin looked up, a question in his eyes. “You know I’m engaged to be married to the man of my life. I love Magnus, I love him more than anything in this world. I have only the one heart, and I gave it to him years ago. That’s never going to change, no matter what happens. I wanted you to know that.”

Colin narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“Because Maia told me that you like me. And I don’t want to lead you on,” Alec said, honestly. He believed in openness, and that it was better to approach problems in a direct manner. “I like you. I like spending time with you, and I thought we could be friends. But we can’t be friends if you want more. Because that is just not an option.”

Colin sighed. His head was downcast and his fingernail worried on a small groove in the wood of the table. “I just thought…” his voice was soft and trailed off. He looked up into Alec’s eyes, his green eyes piercing. “You and I… That maybe we could… I know you love Magnus. But I’m twenty, not that much younger than you are, and I’m going to age. I could grow old with you, you know.”

Alec shook his head, utterly frustrated with Colin’s reply. So Magnus and Maia had been right, and he hated that fact. Hated it that he had to crush this boy’s dreams, and that he would lose a friendship he only just gained, over this.

“All those things don’t matter to me,” Alec said. “All that matters is that I love Magnus. I belong to him, body, heart and soul. Nothing else matters to me as much as that. And I know it’s difficult, because he’s immortal and I am not. But we’ve all been given a lifetime, and no one knows however long or short that will be. All I know is that I want to spend the time that’s been given to me with him.”

Colin looked down on his hands again. “Well, at least you’re clear on what you want,” he mumbled. “So there’s no chance then?”

“None at all,” Alec replied firmly. His heart ached for the young boy, but he knew it needed to be plain for Colin. “There never was any chance. And I’m sorry, because I do like you, and I wished it could be different, so that we could stay friends.”

“I wished it could be different too,” Colin replied. “But not in the way you want it to be different.”

Alec stood up then. “I think I’d better go,” he said, and started walking toward the exit.

Colin grabbed his arm, making him halt. “Thank you for everything, Alec Lightwood. I think you’re amazing.” He smiled his beautiful smile, and Alec couldn’t help but give him a small smile back.

But then he extricated himself from Colin’s grasp and walked out of the bar and into the night. He wasn’t happy about it, not happy at all.


	117. We Forge the Chains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: explicit sexual content

**Magnus**

Magnus stood a bit forlorn in the middle of his living room, staring at the door through which Alec had just disappeared. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen, and he blamed himself for it. It had been stupid, to withhold the information from Alec that Colin had feelings for him. He couldn’t really remember why he’d done it. But he did remember the look on Colin’s face that day he met him and his older brother. The way he’d stared at Alec in pure adoration. Magnus had recognized that look, had had plenty of people looking at him like that. And he’d forgotten that Alec wasn’t familiar with it, that he wouldn’t recognize it that easily.

And now Alec was hurt. Because he liked the boy, and Magnus couldn’t blame him for that. Colin was beautiful, and even though Magnus wasn’t into blondes, he could see that. More than that, he was kind, and tranquil, and in a lot of ways similar to Alec. It wasn’t that strange that Alec had been drawn to him.

Magnus went to clean up the apartment, for lack of better things to do. While sending the minion decorations away with a flick of his fingers, his thoughts went to Alec. He’d be in the Hunter’s Moon right about now, talking with Colin. Magnus wished he could go there too, and take Alec home, apologize to him about Colin, make it up to him. But he couldn’t go and leave the kids alone. He just had to wait for Alec to come home. He knew he would, eventually.

It was about an hour and a half later when he finally did. Magnus was sitting on the couch, sipping a Scotch, when he heard the key in the lock and Alec entered. He slumped down on the couch next to him, but didn’t say anything.

“How did it go?” Magnus asked, tentatively.

Alec heaved a breath. “You were right, obviously,” he said, a tinge of irritation in his voice. “I hope that makes you happy.”

“Of course it doesn’t, Alexander,” Magnus said. He got up, poured Alec a second glass from the decanter and handed it to him.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, sinking down on the couch. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I forget sometimes that you haven’t lived as long as I have, and that you don’t know people as well as I do.”

“Hmph,” Alec grumbled. “Maia hasn’t lived as long as you have, and she knew.”

“Yeah, but she stands outside of this, from where it’s easier to observe. When you’re in the middle of it, it’s harder to notice.”

“I guess so,” Alec said. “I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve let you down in some way.”

Magnus thought about how Alec had been when he had met him. How he was always unassuming, thinking he’d never be anyone’s priority, and how he believed others around him were more important than he was. It was so easy for him to believe he’d let others down. Over the years Alec had grown, become more self-assured, and assured by Magnus’s love for him, but deep down inside of him that fear still lived. The fear of disappointing others. It made Magnus want to reassure him badly. He moved a little closer to Alec and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Don’t apologize, Alexander. You haven’t let me down, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Aside from having terrible observation skills,” Alec replied.

Magnus grinned as he pulled him close. “Oh, I don’t know about that. You’re pretty skilled in spotting the good looking people. Take me, for instance? You’ve managed to win me over.”

Alec chuckled at that. “Win you over? Hardly. As I recall it I’ve been pretty close to breaking our relationship twice. Especially the second time, with Camille. That was a close one. Seems like I’m good in destroying things.”

He sounded bitter, which was something Magnus resented. “Don’t say that,” he said softly, while brushing Alec’s hair from his forehead. “It’s not true, and it was just as much my fault, with Camille.”

Alec sighed. “I guess so. But I feel bad about Colin.”

“It’s not your fault, though,” Magnus said. “Don’t blame yourself for something you can’t do anything about. You can’t help that you’re gorgeous.”

At that Alec gave him a small smile. “That is true.”

“Of course it is! You’re not capable of being ugly. It’s physically impossible for you.” Magnus beamed at him. “This just reminds me of how lucky I am that you’re mine.”

“I am yours,” Alec replied. He laid his head on Magnus’s shoulder, and it was quiet for a while. Magnus dimmed the lights and made a fire appear in the fireplace. It was crackling softly, orange sparks flying upwards into the chimney.

“I still feel guilty,” Alec mumbled after a few minutes of silence.

“Guilt is a bad advisor,” Magnus replied, stroking Alec’s hair absentmindedly. “You felt guilty when Clary died, when your father died. And neither of them were your fault. Even when Max died I remember you tried to take the blame for that. It only makes you feel bad, and it doesn’t solve anything. I know you’re hurting for those you love, but taking the blame doesn’t help them either.”

“You forge the chains you wear,” Alec said softly.

“Dickens was right about that,” Magnus said, remembering the quote. “We choose to love and with it comes hurt. It’s always been like that, it will always be like that.”

“What is the meaning of it all, though, I wonder. Why the loss and the pain?” Alec asked, shifting his head and nuzzling Magnus’s neck with his nose.

“Ah, you’re asking about the fundamental questions of life now,” Magnus replied. “What is the meaning of life, why do we live? You’d think, having walked this earth for four hundred years, I’d have a solid idea about that. But I’m still oblivious about a lot of things most of the time. I do know this: we were meant to love. I believe mundanes, downworlders and Shadowhunters all have souls. And with those souls comes the capability to love. Remember Milton’s Paradise Lost? ‘Freely we serve, because we freely love.’ We choose to love. It doesn’t start out with choosing. You fall in love, sometimes even against your will. I know I had my doubts about it when I fell for you. That hadn’t anything to do with you, of course, but the fact that you were a Shadowhunter, that complicated things for me. But I fell in love regardless. But then comes the choice. You either act on it or you don’t. And once you act on it, you choose to love. Like you did at the end of the Dark War, when you chose me.”

Magnus paused for a second, still trailing his hand through Alec’s hair. “Choosing love is the brave choice, the hard one. Because with love comes loss, and hurt, and fear of losing what you have. We’ve both experienced that in the past six months. So Dickens was right, when we choose to love, we forge the chains we wear in life. Yet I believe it’s the only thing that gives life meaning, and it’s the thing that makes life worth living. And with love comes hope and faith, for our souls are immortal, and when our lives end, there will be an afterlife in which we will meet again.”

“I don’t feel like we always choose to love,” Alec said slowly. “I mean, I don’t feel like I’ve chosen to love my family. I just do, even when they piss me off.”

Magnus chuckled. “Right? Sometimes love is the hard choice, because the people you love aren’t flawless. Remember Max downing that glass of milk over his head yesterday? What did he do that for, huh? To aggravate me, I’m sure. But I think it was also a sort of test, to see if I will love him unconditionally. Which I do.”

Alec sat up to take a sip of his Scotch. “You still think it’s a choice, then?”

“Well, maybe when it comes to family it’s not a very conscious choice. But blood doesn’t necessarily mean love. Remember Clary and Sebastian? Remember Valentine? I think it’s possible to choose against loving your family. Especially when they make it impossible for you to love them.”

Alec nodded, thoughtfully. “I guess that’s true. So love, that’s the answer to the meaning of life?”

“Yes. For me it is.” Magnus looked at his boyfriend tenderly. “To love you, and our sons, unconditionally, that gives all the meaning to my life."

He leaned forward and placed a hand on Alec’s cheek. “It was an easy choice, to love you. Because you are easy to love. I don’t blame Colin for falling for you. And I don’t blame you for being drawn to him. You worry about Jace, you feel his pain constantly. Of course you’d be drawn to someone who could distract you from that a little. Who has problems you could deal with, problems you could actually help him with, since you’re experienced with these Downworlder issues. It all makes perfect sense. So stop placing blame, Alexander. It’s useless and only hurts you.”

Alec leaned into the touch, and Magnus stroke his cheek gently. “And I don’t want you to be hurt,” he whispered. “I want you to be happy.”

In reply Alec reached out his hands and cupped Magnus’s face. “I am happy,” he said softly. He leaned in and kissed Magnus on the lips, a tender kiss, which made Magnus’s heart stutter. Alec broke away from him and looked at him with shining eyes. “You make me happy, and to love you is the best thing that ever happened to me. So I’m chained to you and I forged that chain myself. Well, I have no regrets about that. I wouldn’t want to be chained to anyone else but you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Magnus replied, and then he kissed him again, pulling Alec close. Their mouths moved against each other, tender and warm, making Magnus feel grounded and safe. Safe in Alec’s arms. Alec moved and pushed him back on the sofa, his weight on top of Magnus, pressing him down into the cushions. His arms went around Alec and roamed over his back, and he let himself drown in the Shadowhunter.

He realized the meaning of life, loving Alec, was enhanced by making love to him. And how profoundly lucky he was for it. Tonight, once more, Magnus knew it couldn’t be taken for granted, this love. He vowed to himself to appreciate it, every second of it, as Alec moved on top of him, kissing his neck, unbuttoning his shirt. His lips a caress over Magnus’s skin, making his heart sing. For Alec was here. And that was all that mattered.

He moved his lips down over Magnus’s chest to his abdomen. His hands landed on the belt buckle on Magnus’s pants, and he opened the belt and shoved the pants down his legs. Magnus sat up and reached for Alec, undoing him from the ugly, gray sweater he was wearing. Alec quickly removed the rest of his clothing, and then he was back on top of him. His naked body pressed against Magnus’s, making his skin tingle and his heart expand. His soul sang for the love he received, and he appreciated every second of it. Alec’s hands on him, caressing, stroking. His lips, kissing Magnus’s mouth, and then his jaw, his throat and again he traveled down over Magnus’s chest, kissing every inch of him.

Alec was sweet and tender, every touch soft like feathers. Every move he made a token of his love. Magnus grew still and closed his eyes, letting his other senses take over. Alec’s hand went down over his belly to his thigh, and then he wrapped his slim fingers around Magnus’s length, making him gasp. His lips followed his hand and soon Magnus was overwhelmed by the incredible heat of Alec’s mouth all around him. His touch was still very gentle, but Magnus was overtaken by the feelings Alec evoked in him. He moved up his hips in response to Alec’s touch. In reply Alec’s hand moved down and slid between his butt cheeks, one finger entering him carefully and slowly.

Magnus squeezed his eyes and threw his head back against the velvet of the sofa. His hand went down and landed in Alec’s hair, and he gently tugged at it. Small gasps of breath escaped his mouth as Alec continued to move inside of him. He added a second finger, entering him a little deeper, eliciting a soft moan from him. His mouth was still on him, Magnus felt his tongue twirling over the length of his arousal, making him ascend.

He longed for Alec to make love to him, in this gentle manner that was his style. He was passionate, he could be a blazing inferno, but tonight he was softness itself. Very slowly he added pressure and his mouth started sucking, making Magnus moan a little bit louder now. Alec’s hand moved, his fingers turning inside of Magnus, and slowly he was bringing him up. His bones turned to liquid, his brain became befuddled. All he could think was how soft this was, and how gentle.

He remembered thinking about his heart as a porcelain bowl, incredible vulnerable. How scared he had been that Alec would break it, it needed to be treated with care. This was how Alec was treating his body now, with immense care. As if he could break if Alec would push too hard, or suck too hard. There was nothing hard about how Alec loved him today.

Alec’s other hand was stroking Magnus’s inner leg, sending shivers through him, as he went upwards slowly, and landed at the base of Magnus’s cock. He wrapped his fingers around him and moved them in sync with his mouth, going a little bit faster now. Magnus moaned as the feeling of bliss started to wash over him. He felt as if he was a piece of art, taking shape under Alec’s skilled hands. As if Alec was creating some sort of masterpiece, his body the instrument he played. He gave a soft cry of pleasure when Alec pressed his tongue against his tip and sucked. Alec could coax any sound out him now, make him sing or wail, cry and moan. His body started trembling, there was this spiraling feeling in his belly as if he was riding a roller coaster, speeding up, and falling down. Alec moved his fingers deep inside of him, touching him in a way that was still soft but made him explode nonetheless. He bucked his hips up, cried out and came in Alec’s mouth.

“Alexander!”

All the tension left Magnus’s body as he sank back down on the couch. Alec’s lips and hands moved away from him, and he opened his eyes to see him sitting up between his legs, his sapphire eyes shining.

“Alexander,” he repeated and he placed his hand on Alec’s cheek. His voice came soft as a whisper when he added, “Make love to me.”

Alec nodded in response, and Magnus moved his legs up for Alec, and he felt his hands on him, gently caressing his buttocks. He pressed the back of his head into the sofa cushions, and bit his lip hard, watching Alec as he moved forward and entered him. Just as slow as he had been when his hands and mouth were on him, he moved inside of him. The all encompassing feeling of Alec making love to him, made Magnus moan softly. His heart was bursting with love for Alec.

Wonderful, breathtaking Alexander Lightwood.

He felt him everywhere as he moved further, excruciatingly slow, until he was completely sheathed in him, and he held still for a while. It was utterly silent now, and all Magnus could hear was Alec’s breathing, which was just a little heavier than normal. Magnus was holding his breath as not to pierce the silence. Alec was looking down on him, his eyes shining, a small smile on his mouth, but he didn't say anything either. Somehow it made the moment even more intimate and precious. Alec moved again, he was slowly retreating, going almost all the way out of Magnus before he moved back. It was so slow, so soft, so tender and so peacefully quiet. It was unlike anything Magnus had ever felt.

Alec’s left hand was on Magnus’s hip, fingers brushing his skin in a soft caress. His right hand moved over Magnus’s lower abdomen to his side, and the touch was so careful and gentle, that Magnus felt it as strong as he felt Alec’s length inside of him. He thrust and went a little deeper now, and Magnus bit his lip again, not wanting to make any noise, even though Alec’s touch made him want to moan. The silence was mesmerizing, and it magnified everything Magnus felt. Alec’s touch in him, his fingers on his skin, everything was so profound.

The feeling of love and of longing intensified with every thrust Alec made. His right hand traveled down to Magnus’s hip, and he held him a little tighter now, to steady himself as he increased his pace. He went deep, his cock touching that bundle of nerves inside of Magnus, over and over, and Magnus was starting to soar. He had his head pressed into the sofa, his eyes closed, and he choked back the moans. No sound, no nothing. All he heard was Alec’s breathing which had turned into panting now. It was as if there was an unspoken agreement between them to be soundless, although it was getting harder and harder to uphold his end of this agreement.

Alec was moving faster now, his cock thrusting and retreating deep inside of Magnus. He was gasping, his breath leaving him in fits and starts. Magnus pressed his eyes even tighter shut and little explosions of light erupted behind his closed eyelids. The feelings Alec evoked inside of him brought him up to a second orgasm. The silence endured, and with it the feeling of bliss enhanced rapidly.

Alec thrust hard, and it made everything blow up quite suddenly. Magnus’s body started shaking and trembling underneath Alec’s touch. He lost control over it altogether. The orgasm set him ablaze, every nerve of his body standing on end, the hairs in his neck as well. He wanted to cry out Alec’s name as the feeling of release washed over him, but he contained himself and stayed quiet.

Alec’s breathing was hard, and his thrusts even harder, but he kept quiet too. His fingers were digging into Magnus’s skin now, telling Magnus how close he was to coming. With the next thrust he felt it, he felt Alec explode inside of him and sighing deeply because of it. He moved a few times more, Magnus felt it so profoundly, his still hard cock inside of him, it made him shudder. Then Alec moved away from him, and Magnus reached forward, grabbed his boyfriend by his upper arms and pulled him down on him.

Alec buried his head in the crook of Magnus’s neck. His whole body was still shaking, releasing the tension. Magnus slowly brushed with his hands over Alec’s back, enjoying the warmth of the naked Shadowhunter against him. They laid still like that, still not talking, still without a sound, for quite some time.

Then Alec moved his head and his lips were against Magnus’s ear. “If we stay like this I’ll fall asleep,” he whispered. “Don’t think this is the best position for Max and Rafe to find us in.”

Magnus chuckled at that. “I can’t believe you could fall asleep like this,” he whispered back.

“With you in my arms I can sleep anywhere,” Alec replied. “Because I know when you’re in my arms that you’re safe. And if you’re safe, I’m safe.”

He moved away from Magnus then, grabbed their clothes, lying scattered on the floor, and pulled Magnus up from the couch. Hand in hand they walked to the bedroom, where they laid down, their bodies wrapped around each other. They didn’t say anything, because nothing needed to be said. They both knew they had found the answer to the fundamental question. What is the meaning of life?

It’s this simple four letter word. Love.


	118. The Floor Is Lava

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter some time ago, after watching the Shadowhunter episode (2.19) in which Magnus is the Seelie Queen’s pet. Just a reminder to everyone that Magnus is no one’s pet, except Max’s. There’s a little of 2.18 in this chapter, btw.  
> It seems as if this is going to be the last chapter of this story that will get this trigger warning: explicit sexual content. Enjoy!!

_**Magnus** _

The wedding was in less than a week and Magnus was stressed out! Everything was taken care of, and yet, he was scared it would all fall to bits. Alec told him to relax about it, he said it wouldn’t even matter to him if the food got burned or the band played out of tune. “As long as you and I are there,” he said.

“Pff, that’s the least that can be expected,” Magnus grumbled in reply. “Why are you having such low expectations, Alexander? Why? Don’t you have any faith in me?”

Alec smiled and walked toward him, where he was standing against the counter in their kitchen. “I have all the faith of the world in you,” he replied, and then he wrapped both his arms around Magnus and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Honey, leave the wedding planning alone for today. Play with Max, while Rafe and I get the groceries. Okay?” Alec whispered in his hair.

“Okay,” Magnus replied, not quite feeling it.

Alec and Rafe left shortly after. Max was playing in the living room while Magnus cleaned away the remnants of breakfast. All the while mentally ticking off things on his to do list. The flowers! Were the flowers ordered? Or had he forgotten? He opened his notebook and checked it, only to see they were ordered two months ago. Golden yellow lilies.

Why was wedding planning so stressful? He looked into the list, where he also saw an order of a hundred plastic minions. He didn’t even remember ordering those.

From the living room Chairman Meow yelped loudly, and Magnus hurried in there to see what was going on. Max was sitting on the ground, looking very dismayed, and Magnus spotted the Chairman on the highest shelf of the bookcase.

“What happened?” Magnus asked his son.

“I wanted piggy ride Chairman,” Max sad, his tone resentful. “But he wouldn’t wanna do it and scwatched me.”

Magnus walked to his son and regarded a shallow scratch on his blue forearm. “Does it hurt? I’ll heal you,” he said.

Max didn’t look as if he were in a lot of pain, but Magnus sent fire of healing down his arm regardless.

“Now listen, little blueberry, you are far too big to be piggy riding the Chairman. It will hurt his back. He’s already ten years old, so he’s getting older,” Magnus explained patiently.

“Ten years is not old. Rafe said you are 400 years old,” Max replied.

“Yes, but I’m a warlock, and the Chairman is a cat. And for a cat, ten years is a lot.” Magnus brushed Max’s dark blue curls from his forehead and gently nudged his little horns. He knew it tickled Max, and sure enough, he started giggling, his resentment gone.

“If you want to piggy back ride, you can go on my back. I’ll carry you. Where do you want to go?”

Max’s eyes started to shine in enthusiasm as Magnus lowered himself on his hands and knees and Max climbed on his back. “Go, Papa, go!” he yelled, pulling Magnus’s hair.

Magnus stifled a groan and whinnied like a horse. “Where to, where to?”

“The kitchen!” Max yelled, and Magnus took off, as fast as he could on his hands and feet, knocking over the small table next to the couch as he went. Max roared with laughter.

“Knock the things over!” he commanded, and Magnus obeyed, although he made sure the real valuable stuff was sent off to the master bedroom. It felt weirdly good to run around and create havoc, especially after all the wedding stress he’d experienced  in the last month or so.

And Alec had stayed calm through it all, annoyingly so. Just yesterday Magnus had called him out for not caring, and all Alec had done was laugh. “Of course I care,” he’d finally said. “But I don’t care about the adornment on the cutlery.”

“But they’re flames. The Lightwood symbol! How can you not care?” Magnus had asked.

In reply Alec had taken him in arms and kissed him passionately. Which, Magnus had to admit, was a very adequate reply.

Now, running around on all fours, with his son screaming from laughter on his back, he felt the stress fall away from him. They knocked over a lamp, and then Max ordered him to turn the couch upside down. He obliged with a flick of the finger. The Chairman, still perched on the highest shelf in the room, stared down at the mess and let out a plaintive meow.

Half an hour later not a single piece of furniture stood upright in the room anymore. Lamps, cups and books were scattered over the floor and Max had thought of a new game, called ‘The Floor is Lava.’

It meant exactly what the title of the game said. They had to pretend the floor was made of lava, and you couldn’t touch it without getting burned. So they jumped from item to item, always careful to stay clear of the floor. Magnus was sitting on top of the upturned couch, encouraging Max to jump from a book to the coffee table. The table was lying on its side and Max landed very gracefully, perched on one of the table’s legs. A loud crack sounded and Magnus saw a tear in the wood.

“Oh no!” Max yelped. “I broke the table.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Magnus waved a hand, indifferently. “I’ll get us a new one. Now, quick, jump on the couch before the lava pours through the crack!”

Max gave another yelp and jumped. As he rose up he stayed airborne just a little bit longer than a normal kid would do. Magnus stared and gave him a wide smile.

“You’re floating?” he asked. “How do you do it?”

Max landed with a loud thump next to Magnus, and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Magnus shook his head. “I remember when you were just a baby, and here you are, barely four and already practicing magic. My wonderful blueberry.”

Max beamed at him, basking in his father’s pride. Just as Magnus was taking in the incredible mess he’d created, the key turned in the lock and Alec and Rafe appeared in the door, both of them carrying paper bags with groceries.

Alec froze on the threshold, his mouth fell open upon seeing the mess. “By the Angel,” he muttered.

“The floor is lava,” cried Max, and Rafe instantly jumped onto a large spell book, lying a few feet away.

“Daddy, the floor is lava,” he warned Alec.

“Yes,” Alec said, sounding a bit absent minded. “But I wear lava repellent boots.”

He looked around and his gaze fell on Magnus now. “So when I said ‘play with Max’ I assume you heard ‘make a mess’?”

He walked toward Rafe and hauled him in his arms, placing him next to Max on the sofa. Then he picked up the spell book from the floor. “Okay, Magnus. I know you’re stressed, but these books! These are ancient spell books, they’re your heritage. You have to be careful with them.”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus said, feeling a bit guilty for creating such chaos in the short moment of Alec’s absence.

“Papa and I were piggy riding,” Max explained, his big eyes fixed pleadingly on Alec now. “It was my fault, I made him. Don’t be mad.”

Alec shook his head and smiled at his son. “I’m not mad.” He ruffled his hair in an affectionate gesture. “But since I’m the only one wearing lava repellent boots, I have to clean up all the mess.”

Magnus jumped from the upturned couch and grasped Alec’s arm. “Luckily I have lava repellent boots too, and magic. You stay put, I’ll fix it.”

Alec gave him a beautiful smile, the one that still made his heart beat just a little bit faster. “It’s okay, Magnus. I’m glad you had some fun.”

Magnus went to clean up the apartment anyway, while Alec put the kids in chairs at the dining table, both of them with a big coloring book and a couple dozen of pencils and crayons in all colors of the rainbow. He sat next to Max and opened Magnus’s notebook.

Magnus was just sending the books back into the bookcase when Alec chuckled. “Why did you order a hundred minions for the wedding?”

Magnus looked at him over his shoulder. “I honestly don’t remember. It must have been a fit of madness.”

Alec laughed. “Maybe you should do more piggy riding and less wedding planning.”

“I’ll let you ride me,” Magnus replied, giving Alec a wink. “To the moon and back.”

“And you want to play ‘the floor is lava’ too, I suppose?” Alec asked.

Magnus laughed. “I’d love that!”

The house was completely tidied up now, no evidence of Magnus’s wild ride with Max visible. He went to sit across from Alec at the table.

“You guys can’t play ‘the floor is lava’. You cheat,” commented Rafe, looking up from his picture of Spider-Man, frowning at Alec.

“How do we cheat?” Alec asked.

“You say you have lava repellent boots, that’s cheating,” Rafe explained.

“How else are we supposed to save you from all the lava?”

“You don’t have to save me,” said Rafe, and he pumped his fists in the air, a movement no doubt taught by Jace. “I can save myself.”

Alec snickered and ruffled Rafe’s hair affectionately. “Of course you can."

He turned his attention back to the notebook and started reading aloud from the list of things to do for the wedding.

“Flowers ordered, check. Catering ordered, check. Decorations ordered, check. Band ordered, check. String quartet ordered, check.”

Magnus stood up and walked over to Alec’s side, to look at the list, over his shoulder.

“I’ve thought about asking brother Enoch for the ceremony. But I asked Jem instead. He’s the better option, since he’s married to Tessa. It’ll be a more personal ceremony.” Alec looked up at Magnus now, and handed him his stele. “Did you practice the Runes?”

Magnus couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “They’re not that hard,” he commented.

“No, but you can’t make a mistake,” Alec said.

“I’m not going to make a mistake. I promise.”

Alec smiled as he grabbed Magnus’s hand. “I’m really glad to see you’re less stressed now. Come, sit on the sofa, read a book. I’ll give you a foot rub. We don’t have to do anything anymore today, all is taken care of.”

He stood up and lead Magnus to the sofa, where he sank down and picked up a copy of Wuthering Heights. Alec placed his feet in his lap, removed Magnus’s boots and socks, and rubbed his feet gently.

“You like rereading the classics?” Alec asked.

Magnus looked up from the book. “It’s been a hundred years since I read this one, I forgot all about it, except for the fact that Heathcliff is an asshole and Cathy’s a bitch.”

“Is there anything more to the story than that?” Alec asked.

“No,” Magnus shook his head, laughing. “That basically summarizes it.”

He continued reading while Alec took care of dinner. After dinner Magnus put Rafe to bed while Alec took care of Max.

As usual, he sang Rafe a Spanish lullaby, then he kissed his forehead and tucked him in. “Be careful,” Rafe whispered as he dozed off.

“For what?” Magnus asked.

“The floor is lava,” Rafe replied, smiling a sleepy smile.

Magnus feigned a painful yelp and hurried to the door. “I’d better get out of here.”

He went into Max’s room next─Alec had left and Max was already sleeping. Magnus had to press a kiss on his son’s unruly curls, before hurrying back to the living room to continue reading Wuthering Heights.

Alec appeared in the kitchen door opening, a wide smile on his face. “The floor is lava!” he yelled, and with a leap he jumped into the air, flipped over the coffee table and landed next to Magnus on the sofa. Magnus laughed, muttering, “Show off,” as Alec took a hold of his legs and pulled them from the ground onto the sofa.

“Careful, Magnus, careful! You’ll get your feet burned!” He was smiling, and the mirth in his eyes unfolded a flower of happiness in Magnus’s heart. This gorgeous Shadowhunter, he could hardly believe he belonged to him. And in five days he could finally call him his husband.

Alec moved him so he was lying down on the sofa and crawled heedlessly on top of him, pushing him into the sofa cushions with his weight. He placed his elbows on either side of Magnus’s head and rested his own head in his hands. His eyes were gleaming with excitement.

“So, now that we’ve played ‘the floor is lava’, are we going to do some piggy riding next?”

Magnus burst out laughing. “Oh, Alexander. You’re wonderful.”

“I mean it, though,” Alec said. “You promised I could ride you.”

“I did,” Magnus replied, still laughing, while he brushed a hand over Alec’s cheek. “You do know I meant it in a very sexual way,” he teased.

“Of course,” Alec’s smile widened as he pushed his lower body against Magnus’s. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“But do you actually think you’re physically able to ride me,” Magnus asked. “I think it requires you to be very bendy.”

Alec threw his head back and laughed heartily. “I  _ am  _ bendy. I’m a Shadowhunter. I think I can do it.”

He looked down into Magnus’s eyes, looking incredibly gleeful. “Although maybe not on the sofa,” he amended.

The next moment Alec’s weight was lifted from him as the Shadowhunter jumped deftly from the couch and raised Magnus with him. He cupped his face with both hands and started kissing him ardently, while walking backwards with him to the bedroom.

While kissing and walking, Alec was kicking off his shoes and started unbuttoning Magnus’s dress shirt. He pulled his sweater over his head and threw it on the bedroom floor, laughing as he went. His giddiness was infectious, and in a moment of mischief Magnus flipped him over, and with true elegance he fell down on the bed.

“So graceful,” Magnus commented as he hovered over him. Alec pulled him close and pressed his lips on him.

“Shadowhunter,” he said, by way of explaining. 

His hands traveled under Magnus’s shirt over his bare back, fingers touching soft as feathers, making Magnus shiver. Alec moved up, kissing him intently, as he removed the shirt and his hands pressed into Magnus’s shoulders. He turned Magnus on his back and opened the fly of his pants, pushing them down over Magnus’s legs. He was staring at him, his eyes hungrily taking in every part of Magnus. His hands traveled slowly from his abdomen to the waistband of the boxers Magnus was wearing.

He gasped as Alec’s fingers slid underneath and touched the sensitive skin, traveling down to his groin and then he felt a gentle tapping of Alec’s fingertips against his length, eliciting a small moan out of him. Alec looked into his eyes, smiling a little. “You are so beautiful,” he said, as he bent down and kissed his lips. “I’m going to enjoy riding you and watching your face as you come.”

Magnus gasped at the words, but managed to say, quite teasingly, “I first have to see if you’re able to do it like that, Shadowhunter.”

Alec grinned, and then slipped Magnus’s boxers down. He let go of him to undress himself, and, once naked, he straddled him, pressing his knees into Magnus’s side. “You tease me now,” he said. “But just wait and see, warlock.”

His hand disappeared behind his back and slid around Magnus’s cock, holding him firmly in place. Magnus stared as Alec angled his hips, drew himself up a little, and the next moment he felt the tip of his cock pressed against Alec’s entrance. He inhaled sharply at the feeling of it. Alec moved, both his hand around Magnus, guiding his cock, and his own hips as he carefully, and slowly pushed his body down on him.

Magnus was gasping, overcome by the heat and the tightness of Alec’s walls around him. Alec moved down, rolling his hips, until Magnus was completely sheathed inside of him. Only then did he hold still, panting a little.

Magnus watched him as he sat on him, his back straight, hips angled, and his rock hard cock stretching out before him. Magnus lifted a hand and circled his fingers around him, squeezing lightly. 

Alec gave a soft yelp, but then removed Magnus’s hand. “No, no,” he said, shaking his head in disapproval. “No touching, Magnus. I’m riding you, remember.”

Magnus laughed. “Is it distracting you?”

“Uh, it kind of is,” Alec admitted.

He moved his hips a bit, and Magnus felt the movement in every fiber of his being. He was sheathed so deep inside of Alec now, and Alec managed to make that feeling even more profound with every single movement he made. He started to push up on his knees and Magnus felt his length slide out of him as Alec went up. He fixed his eyes on the point where their bodies were unified, and saw his own cock appear between Alec’s butt cheeks. It was by far the hottest thing he’d ever seen, especially since Alec’s cock was blocking half of his view.

Alec moved down again, and Magnus couldn’t help but thrust a little, bucking up his hips to meet Alec’s movement. He gasped as Magnus touched that bundle of nerves inside of him, in this position even more intense. Alec set a pace now, riding him gently and carefully, still not going really fast, but in a steady rhythm. His own cock twitched every time he came down on Magnus, and Magnus would thrust at that same time, making Alec moan softly.

Being inside of him like this was so strangely different than usual. Magnus was absolutely passive as he let Alec decide the rhythm, the pace, the movement. Alec was in control, and that made it even better for Magnus somehow. He kept his eyes fixed on the movement, on Alec’s trembling length, and every now and then he looked up to see his boyfriend’s magnificent torso, and his beautiful face.

Alec was biting his lip, letting out a sigh as he moved up, further up, almost too far. Magnus felt himself slide out of Alec. But just before he’d leave him entirely, Alec moved down again, a little faster now, letting Magnus’s length fill him up completely. Magnus moaned a little louder at the enhanced speed. He felt Alec’s eyes on him and looked up.

Alec was smiling, his eyes glittering. “You are so fucking gorgeous like this,” he whispered. “By the Angel, this is hot.”

“Doesn’t it hurt though?” Magnus couldn’t help but ask, between breaths.     


Alec’s smile widened. “I told you I was bendy,”  he replied, and with it he moved again, riding Magnus in earnest now.

The heat, the tightness, and the incredible view of the naked Shadowhunter on top of him, made Magnus soar. He knew it was only a matter of time before he’d explode, but he wanted to make it last longer. And he wanted something else. He wanted Alec to come on top of him. To see his face as the orgasm would overtake him. So he slid his fingers around Alec’s rock hard length once more. This time Alec didn’t squat him away. He was intent on the task of moving his hips, while Magnus squeezed his dick lightly.

He set a rhythm, similar to Alec’s, moving his hand over Alec’s length while Alec moved his walls over Magnus’s. They went together now, Magnus thrusting and sliding his hand rapidly over Alec. Alec angling his hips and pushing himself up and down again, faster, and faster now. His cock twitched in Magnus’s hand and he started moaning.

Magnus stared into his face and Alec looked back. His pupils wide, his lips parted. “Magnus,” he gasped, as he increased the rhythm once more. “I love you,” he managed to get out.

He was going to come soon, and Magnus knew he had to hurry because he couldn’t hold back anymore. He moved up his hips, meeting Alec halfway now, rocking into him hard, and Alec yelped at the impact. Magnus let go of his cock and watched it tremble and shake and with the next hard thrust, Alec came and the sight of it was enough for Magnus to fall apart. He felt the hot wetness of Alec’s release on his abdomen and chest. His entire body started shuddering and shaking as he released himself inside of Alec. He kept his eyes open during all of it, fixed on his boyfriend.

Alec had his head thrown back as he moved his body down on Magnus, one last time, and now he stayed down. Encasing Magnus completely. Magnus watched his chest heave, while the waves of the orgasm where flowing over him. Alec had never looked more beautiful than he did now, coming on top of him like this. He opened his eyes and looked down on Magnus, eyes wide with pure bliss.

“So beautiful,” Magnus whispered. “God, I love you, Alexander.”

Alec smiled now, still breathing heavily. “I told you… I could… do it,” he heaved.

And Magnus smiled back, lifting up a hand to touch Alec’s smooth, rune-adorned chest. Alec sat motionless on top of him, for a little while longer, but then moved carefully up once more, and away from him. He groaned a little. “My knees,” he muttered. “And this position is taking its toll on my abdomen as well.”

“Riding is hard,” Magnus chuckled.

“You laugh now,” Alec said, mock frowning at his boyfriend. “I challenge you to try it.”

At that, Magnus laughed out loud. “Okay,” he said, smiling widely. “Challenge accepted.”

He pulled Alec close and whispered in his ear. “We’re supposed to go to the moon and back, remember? Now we’re on the moon, and we still have to embark upon the return travel.”

“Hmm,” Alec breathed. “I don’t know if you can do it. It requires quite some training and effort.”

“I’m all for effort,” Magnus replied.

Alec moved, his lips pressed against Magnus’s neck, he trailed them softly down over his jaw to his lips. Magnus parted his lips and their mouths moved against each other. Alec slid his tongue in Magnus’s mouth and raked it against his palate. They kissed for quite some time, savoring each other’s taste and warmth.

“So, how long do you want to stay on the moon?” Alec asked, when they finally broke of the kiss. “Long enough for us to have a glass of wine?”

Magnus checked the time, it was not even ten o’clock yet, although he felt already pretty tired. He yawned but nodded at Alec’s proposal.

Alec chuckled as he noticed it. “You know what? We’ll have a glass of wine and stay on the moon a day longer. I’ll challenge you another night to take us back.”

“I can do it!” Magnus replied, indignant.

Alec laughed a little harder now, holding up both his hands in an apologetic gesture. “I believe you! But don’t you want to stay on the moon with me?”

“Well,” Magnus replied. “I’m not sure. You’re being really cocky and pleased with yourself, and since there are no other people on the moon… I mean, I’d be stuck with you.”

Alec got up from the bed and shrugged into some pajama bottoms. “That would be totally awful,” he replied, his mood seemed to have grown even giddier. “I’ll be right back with the wine, okay? And you know you still have five days to reconsider marrying me. Since you don’t even want to be one day alone with me on the moon.”

He left the room, and Magnus went to lay on his back, hands under his head, staring at the ceiling. Five days. He couldn’t wait for them to pass. Five more days, and he’ll be Magnus Lightwood-Bane.

Alec came back with two glasses and handed one to Magnus.

“I’ve thought a little more about the moon,” Magnus said, smiling at his boyfriend. “And I don’t think we can stay there, there’s no oxygen.”

Alec laughed, his eyes sparkling. “You’re right!”

Magnus sipped his wine, while looking at Alec over the rim of his glass. “So I think we should go back soon, but then we should stay on earth until after the wedding.”

“No sex until after the wedding?”

“Yup. You think you can handle that, Shadowhunter?” Magnus asked

“Hmm. I don’t think it’s much of a challenge,” Alec said, while scrunching up his nose adorably. “It’s only five days.”

Magnus indicated his naked body with his hand. “But five days without all of this.”

Alec laughed again. “You are hot, that’s very true.”

He took another sip of wine before putting the glass down. Then he moved over to Magnus, placing a hand on his cheek. “You’re going to bring me back to earth?”

His voice was  low and rough, awakening a rush of excitement from deep within. Magnus placed his own glass on the side table and pulled Alec to him. His lips brushed over Alec’s cheek to his mouth and he kissed him softly. “I will,” he promised.

He flipped Alec on his back and shrugged off his pajama bottoms. His hand wrapped around Alec’s cock, coating him in a layer of oil. Alec moaned softly, as he watched Magnus’s movements closely.

“I can do this,” Magnus announced, and then he straddled him. His knees pressed against Alec’s sides, he copied the movements the Shadowhunter had made earlier. He shifted his body up and guided Alec’s cock to his entrance. Alec gasped at the movement.

Magnus pushed down slowly, panting as Alec’s length was slowly filling him. He let go of him then, using his hands to lean against the mattress for the last inches. And then Alec was inside of him, completely.

Magnus closed his eyes for a moment, letting the feeling of Alec wash over him. To feel Alec so deep inside of him was overwhelming, and he already regretted the deal they made about not having sex until after the wedding. He could never get enough of him. Of his beauty, of his humor, of his love. He felt so good.

He looked down on his boyfriend, and found him staring at his face. “You are so beautiful,” Alec whispered, and Magnus could swear he heard the awe in his voice. He smiled and Alec smiled back, his face lighting up entirely. Magnus shook his head in amazement.

“No. You! You are so beautiful,” he said. In reply Alec’s smile widened.

Magnus looked at him for a second longer, and then he pressed his knees into the mattress and started to move. Alec wheezed a breath, as his cock slowly slid out of Magnus. It was a strange sensation, to be in control while being fucked, and Magnus liked it─the way he was completely passive before, and completely in command now. He moved down again, and groaned as Alec’s length filled him up once more. Alec thrust his hips forward, entering him so deep that he had to stifle a cry.

“This is really hot,” Alec sighed. “Are you okay, though?”

“I’m fine,” Magnus panted. “Totally fine.”

He moved again, getting the hang of it. Alec had been right, it was physically a bit more challenging than any other position, but he really couldn’t care about that. He liked a challenge. So he rode his boyfriend, slowly moving up the pace. With every thrust, Alec moved with him, hitting him deep within. The pleasure of it overwhelming Magnus again and again. His cock twitched in anticipation, and Alec, noticing that, wrapped his slender hand around him. Magnus moaned loudly, as Alec started to rub him.

“Oh. That  _ is _ distracting,” he groaned. 

Alec grinned, but let go obediently. As Magnus continued to move his walls around Alec, he noticed he didn’t even need Alec’s hand around him. Every touch of Alec’s cock inside of him brought him closer to the edge, from where it would be a free fall back to earth. He went fast now, pushing himself up on his knees and almost falling down on Alec. Now that he had the hang of it, it wasn’t hard, it was the sexiest thing he’d ever done.

Alec moved with him, meeting him with his thrusts. He had his eyes fixed on Magnus, his lips parted, as he breathed and moaned, with every thrust a little louder. The sight of his boyfriend looking hot like that, made Magnus bit his lip and he let out a soft cry when Alec hit him again, so deep. Alec’s hand slid around him once more, and Magnus almost exploded at the touch of it. He was falling, it was going so incredibly fast. As he went down on Alec again, and Alec pushed his hips, rocking into him hard, he went altogether. Everything fell away but the touch of Alec inside of him. He threw his head back and moaned Alec’s name as the orgasm overtook him. Alec thrust again, and Magnus felt the hot stickiness of Alec’s release inside as he followed him in the free fall, down to earth.

Magnus stared down at his boyfriend in pure adoration. “God, Alexander,” he managed to get out. “You’re so… This was so…”

Alec smiled as he touched Magnus’s arm, fingers brushing over his bicep. “You feel sorry now, don’t you? For making that deal with me about no sex until after the wedding.”

“Yeah, I do,” Magnus said, while moving forward and kissing his boyfriend on the lips. He moved away, and let himself fall next to Alec on the bed, closing his eyes for a second, to make sure he’d landed.

“Because,” Alec said slowly, his voice filled with mirth. Magnus opened his eyes and saw his boyfriend’s hand indicating his naked body. “You don’t want to be without all of this for five long days. Five long days!”

Magnus laughed. “You crazy, wonderful, sexy Shadowhunter,” he said as he bent over his boyfriend and kissed him for the millionth time. “I love you.”

Alec’s hand came up and cupped his cheek as he kissed him back. “Aku cinta kamu.”

Magnus pushed him away and frowned. “You can’t say that for the next five days either.”

“Why not?” Alec’s eyebrows shot up in confusion.

“Because, it’s almost the same as having sex,” Magnus said. “And if you say something like that, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

Alec laughed as he pulled Magnus back in his arms. He kissed the top of his head as he wrapped his arms tightly around him. “Okay, I won’t say it. But it’s true, Magnus Bane. I love you.”

Magnus closed his eyes as he pressed his body close to Alec’s and he wondered, not for the first time that night, why on earth he had felt it necessary to make that no sex deal. It was the worst deal ever.

“Five days seems like a long time,” he muttered.

Alec’s reply sounded as giddy as ever. “At least we’ve made it back to earth.”

 


	119. The Wedding - Part 1

####  _**Alec** _

The downstairs doorbell rang and Alec picked up the receiver. “Yes?”

“Let me in!” Jace called through the intercom. Alec buzzed him in and opened the front door, before turning back to the sofa.

Magnus sighed dramatically. “Is he here already? Does that mean you’re leaving?” he asked, gesturing with his hands. “I really don’t want you to go.”

Alec snickered. “Magnus, honey. It’s just for tonight. From tomorrow on I’ll never leave you, ever again, okay?”

Magnus made a fake pouty face. “You’d better not. But, I don’t know, I’m nervous. I have a feeling I won’t sleep when you’re not here with me.”

Alec slumped down on the couch and wrapped both his arms around his fiancé. “Don’t be nervous. We’re going to be fine. Jem and Tessa are coming, right?”

“Jem and Tessa are already here,” said a voice in the door opening. Jem, Tessa and Jace entered the living room at the same time as Rafe came running from the kitchen.

“Uncle Jace! I’m coming with you and Daddy to the Institute!” he called out to Jace.

It had been Jace’s idea for Alec to come and sleep in the Institute the night before the wedding. And he couldn’t leave Magnus behind with both their children left in his care. So Alec decided to bring Rafe with him, which his son didn’t seem to mind at all. 

It was strange to think Rafe wasn’t even in their life a year ago, now Alec couldn’t picture life without him. He loved the fact that his son was a Shadowhunter. Not that it had ever bothered him for one second that Max wasn’t. But he could actually teach Rafe the things he had learned himself when he was his age. To Rafe he was his role model. The person he wanted to become when he’d be grown up. Of course, Jace, too, was pretty awesome in Rafe’s opinion, but not in the same way as Alec was for him. And that was something Alec had never expected.

When he left Jace in charge of training Rafe, part of him was afraid Rafe would love Jace more than he loved him. How ridiculous a thought it was, and it turned out to be very much untrue.

Rafe loved Jace. But Alec was the one he called Daddy. Alec was the one he relied on. And whenever he was scared or things went wrong during training, Jace had to call Alec to come to support and comfort Rafe. He’d scream his lungs out if Alec wasn’t there. It showed how much he needed him, even though it was always difficult to see him so distressed. It showed how troubled his childhood had been, how traumatic the first five years of his life.

It made Alec extra happy to see him thrive. How he’d grown in the past year. Not just in height, but in strength of character. And to see him this excited today made it a little easier for Alec to go to the Institute.

Because, honestly. He shared Magnus’s nerves. He didn’t show it to him, knowing it would only upset Magnus more. But if he had to choose, he’d rather stay home with Magnus, sleep with Magnus in their own bed. But Jace and Izzy, and even Maryse and Simon had been very adamant about it. Alec was to sleep in his old room in the Institute. He was to be married from the Institute, his parental house. That was how it was done. Shadowhunters are nothing if not traditional.

“You’re coming?” Jace asked, eyebrows raised. Rafe was standing next to him, his backpack already strapped to his back.

Alec nodded and turned to face Magnus. “You’ll be fine. You can practice the Runes once more with Tessa.”

“I don’t need to practice them again.” Magnus rolled his eyes at him. “Just because I’m not a Shadowhunter doesn’t mean I’m not perfectly awesome and capable of making Runes. Come on!”

Alec laughed and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “You are awesome,” he said. “I have to go. But I’ll see you tomorrow!” He raised his eyebrows and waggled them a little.

Magnus smiled a wide smile at that. “See you tomorrow.”

* * *

 

In the Institute, Alec put Rafe to bed in the room where he had slept with Max during the time they lived here. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” he asked his son, while tucking him in.

Rafe nodded, his eyes glittering in excitement. “Are you?”

Alec smiled. “I am. Now better sleep, it’s going to be a long day.”

He kissed Rafe’s brow and walked out to the hallway, where Jace was standing. “Time for a celebratory drink,” he announced. “Your last night as a bachelor.”

“Technically, I haven’t been a bachelor for a long time,” Alec said. “We’re together for almost six years now.”

“Six years,” Jace said, pensive. “Six years ago, June 2007, we didn’t even know they existed. Magnus, Clary, Simon. It seems like a world, a lifetime ago.”

Together they walked through the hall toward the kitchen. “It does,” Alec replied. He took a sideways glance at Jace. He looked straight ahead, expression unreadable.

“What are you thinking?” Alec asked.

“I’m thinking that I’m really okay,” Jace said slowly. “I’m happy for you, truly happy. Life still sucks most of the time, but to be your  _ sugenes _ and witness your wedding tomorrow, it makes life worth living today. Despite the fact that I still miss her every second of every day.”

Alec reached out a hand and squeezed Jace’s shoulder. “I know.”

Jace grinned. “We’re going to focus on ‘happy’ now, okay? Let’s have a drink and you can tell me all about how awesome your husband-to-be is, and how happy you are to be tying the knot, finally!”

They’ve reached the kitchen and Jace opened the fridge to take out two beers. He twisted off the caps and handed one to Alec. They sat down on the barstools next to the counter and clinked their bottles together.

“Okay,” Alec said smiling, taking a big gulp of beer. “You really want to talk about how awesome my husband-to-be is?”

“Sure,” Jace replied. “Like, is he any good in bed?”

“Jace!” Alec called out. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Jace said. “I mean, I’m your parabatai, and you never told me anything about it. I don’t even know when you lost your virginity and all.”

“Yeah, no,” Alec said, holding a hand up in a defensive gesture. “I’m not going to talk to you about that.”

“Fine,” Jace grinned. “I’ll get a few more beers in you and then you can talk. I want to know.”

Alec shook his head and sipped his beer. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I know, right?” Jace indicated his body with his hands. “I have the looks and the brains! I’m quite irresistible.”

“Shut up,” Alec said. Just at that time the door opened and Izzy and Simon walked in. Alec thanked the angel for their timing.

“Ah, just in time for the final drink before married life, I see,” said Simon. He plopped down next to Alec while Izzy poured them both a glass of wine.

“It’s such a strange thing,” said Izzy. “My big brother getting married.”

Alec raised his eyebrows. “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

“Not a bad thing.” Izzy shook her head. “Not bad at all. And I guess it doesn’t change anything, technically. But it feels like a big thing. Like we’re officially adults now, and we’ll have to be responsible from now on for the rest of our lives.”

“I don’t know about you,” Alec said, “But I’ve been a parent for more than three years now, so I’m already way down that path.”

“I know, I know, I know,” Izzy sighed, hauling a hand through her hair. “But you know what I mean, Alec. Things change fundamentally now. You’ll be a married man. Don’t tell me you don’t feel anything when I say that, like it doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters,” Alec was smiling now. “It matters in a good way. And I’m really happy. Like, really happy. Because we can make it official, and in the same way as if it were you two getting married.” He gestured to Simon and Izzy. “I’m happy because it doesn’t matter one bit that he’s a warlock and I’m a Shadowhunter. I’m happy because I love him and I want the world to know that.”

He stopped talking to see three pairs of eyes staring at him in utter surprise.

“Wow,” Isabelle said. “I don’t think I ever heard you talk like that.”

“Can you believe it?” Jace added. “Alec being all sentimental. Don’t tell me you’re going to cry tomorrow during the ceremony?”

Alec laughed and shrugged. “Who knows, I might.”

They chatted and drank for an hour more, but then Alec decided to get some sleep, despite it being quite early still. He wanted to be well rested on the big day. The wedding ceremony was scheduled around three in the afternoon. After that a long and elegant dinner was planned, and then a band would play and a DJ as well, and Magnus planned to dance the night away. Alec didn’t think he’d sleep much in the coming night, so better try to sneak some extra hours in while he could.

He stood up, placing the empty beer bottle on the counter. “I’m calling it a night.”

“What?” Jace sounded appalled. “No demon hunting with me tonight?”

“No,” Alec smiled. “Good night y’all.”

In bed in his old room, he stared at the ceiling, thinking he was standing at the beginning of a new era. The era of married life. This room, and all it represented, his childhood, adolescence, all of it was in the past. And his future would be filled with his children, and that amazing, beautiful warlock who actually wanted to marry him.

Alec didn’t take Magnus for granted, he never had. But this night, while lying awake in his old bed, he realized how extremely lucky he was to have his love. This brilliant, magical love of this brilliant, beautiful boy. Alec closed his eyes and conjured up Magnus’s face in his mind’s eye, and he actually, physically missed him, and silently cursed himself for going along with Jace’s stupid traditional plan of sleeping in the Institute.

* * *

Alec woke up around six in the morning, which wasn’t unusual, but still pretty early. It must have been the nerves that woke him up. He changed into some lose training pants and a t-shirt and headed to the training room. This was the perfect opportunity to work up some sweat.

While working out, hitting the punching bag, Alec’s mind went to the conversation he had yesterday, with Jace. How Jace told him life still pretty much sucked for him. Alec knew that, he could sense the pain of his parabatai. He remembered talking to Colin, a few months ago, about immortality, and how it would be better to grow old with someone.

Lately, Alec couldn’t help but doubt that. The idea of growing old and leaving Magnus behind. He really, really didn’t want that. Especially because he knew the pain Jace was in, and the idea of Magnus being in that kind of pain was unbearable for Alec.

He punched the bag hard, and panted a little from the effort.

What choice did he have though? He was mortal. He was going to die sometime, maybe soon. But if there was a chance, a real one, to spend eternity with Magnus, would he take it? Especially today, on his wedding day, Alec found himself thinking that maybe he would.

After about an hour of hitting the punching bag, Alec heard a rustling in the corner of the room and looked up. The familiar shimmer of a portal appeared and the next moment Magnus stepped into the room, wearing only his black silk pajama bottoms and smiling widely.

“I really like what I see,” he said.

Alec had discarded his sweaty t-shirt about twenty minutes ago, and now he was standing bare-chested in the middle of the room, staring at his boyfriend. “Why are you here?”

“Because,” Magnus said, he walked toward him and placed both his hands on Alec’s upper arms. “I really miss you. So, I spoke a quick tracking spell which told me you were in this training room. And also…”

A plastic box appeared in Alec’s hand. “You forgot your tie. Which is, admittedly, just an excuse for me to look you up.”

Alec smiled, looking up in his boyfriend’s shining cat eyes. He brushed his hand over Magnus’s cheek. “You nervous?”

“A little,” Magnus admitted.

“Jace is going to punch you when he finds you here,” Alec said.

Magnus chuckled, as he leaned into him and wrapped his arms around him. “I’d like to see him try.”

And then, before Alec could mutter an objection about being really sweaty, Magnus pressed his lips hard against him and kissed him passionately. Alec’s hand slid from Magnus’s cheek to his neck as he pulled him closer, their naked upper bodies pressed against each other.

“Hmmm,” Magnus hummed against his mouth. “You’re wet.”

“Sorry,” Alec muttered.

But Magnus just laughed and pushed Alec backward until he was standing against the wall. 

“I don’t mind it one bit,” he said, and then he kissed him again. Alec’s arms came around him, and he caressed the small of his back, one finger trailing over Magnus’s spine.

All thoughts about the wedding and getting ready and nerves and whatever else flew out of Alec’s mind as he let himself drown in Magnus’s presence. Their lips moving, Magnus’s tongue slowly raking over Alec’s teeth. Alec’s hands traveled down, sliding underneath the waistband of Magnus’s pajama bottoms, and Magnus moaned softly at the touch. His mouth left Alec’s and moved over his jaw to his throat.

“It really is a pity we made that no sex deal,” he murmured against Alec’s skin. Alec couldn’t agree more.

“Alec!” Izzy’s voice rang through the room as she threw the door open.

Alec startled and broke off the kiss. Magnus looked over his shoulder to Alec’s sister standing in the doorway.

“Oh my God!” Izzy exclaimed. “What are you two doing?!?”

Magnus turned and frowned at her. “What does it look like?” he asked her, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “What I don’t understand is why you’re interrupting us. So, leave!”

“No,” Izzy planted her hands firmly in her sides. “You leave. This is bad luck for the wedding, Magnus.”

“Nonsense.” Magnus waved her comment away. He turned back to face Alec. “Sorry hun, I’d forgotten how incredibly traditional your family is. I’ll go before she explodes.”

Alec laughed and pulled Magnus into a hug. “I love you,” he said. “Thank you for coming, that was a nice surprise.”

Magnus kissed his cheek and sauntered back to the corner, where the portal was still shimmering. He looked back once and then disappeared.

Alec was still smiling as Isabelle strode towards him and slapped him on the back of his head.

“Hey!” Alec exclaimed, indignant. “What did you do that for?”

“For you making out with your boyfriend on your wedding day!” Isabelle said sternly.

“I thought that was what we were supposed to do,” Alec replied.

“It’s not a joke, Alec,” she frowned.

“Iz, don’t worry about it,” Alec said, while putting his shirt back on. “He was nervous, we both were. It took the edge off nicely. Seriously, I feel much more relaxed now.”

She looked up at him and smiled faintly. “Very well. Take a shower, breakfast is ready.”

* * *

 

The day progressed with a snail's pace so slow, for some unfathomable reason. After breakfast Isabelle talked Alec through all the steps of the ceremony, and Rafe too. He was going to throw flower petals down the aisle, together with Max. Then Jace took Rafe away to do ‘something,’ as he put it. And Alec had nothing left to do but text Magnus that he couldn’t wait for three o’clock to arrive.

About half an hour before they were supposed to leave, Alec was standing in his bedroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror. The suit fitted perfectly. It was golden brown, a three-piece suit, with a white button down shirt and a matching tie. He wore a brown belt and shoes in the exact same color.

There was a short knock on the door and his mother entered the room, wearing a long, jade dress, with golden stitching. She came to stand next to him, and wrapped an arm around him. “You look so beautiful,” she said, smiling.

“Thank you,” Alec replied.

“How are you feeling?”

He stared at his mother’s face in the mirror and gave her a small smile. “A bit nervous, but I’m also really looking forward to it.”

“That’s great, Alexander.” She gently squeezed his arm. “I’m proud of you. And so happy for you. I wish your father and Max could’ve been here to witness this.”

“Yeah.” Alec felt a twinge of sadness in his gut. “Me, too.”

The door opened further and Rafe entered, holding a basket. He wore a three-piece suit,  similar to Alec’s. Magnus had picked it out for him.

“Dad! Are you ready?” Rafe asked, pulling at Alec’s trousers.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Alec smiled down at his son. “Are we leaving?”

Rafe nodded and grabbed Alec’s hand, leading him and his mother to the elevator, where Isabelle stood with Simon. They matched, Alec noticed. Isabelle’s dress was a deep red, Simon’s suit navy blue with a red shirt underneath. They looked really pretty together.

“You look great,” Isabelle said to him, appreciatively. “Very handsome.”

They took the small elevator down to the cathedral hall, where Jace was waiting. Outside, a blue Lexus was waiting for them to file into. Jace was driving to the grand hall they rented for the occasion. The hall had an underground exit, which made it possible for the vampires to attend. Magnus had thought about everything.

The group of Shadowhunters entered the hall, where Izzy ushered Alec into one of the small waiting rooms. “Jace will be here in a minute. You just wait and relax. You want anything?”

Alec shook his head while he rubbed his hands together. They were sweaty, and he felt sweaty and scared too. Not afraid of demons, no, but weddings, and being at the center of everyone’s attention, that scared the crap out of him. It wasn’t his thing, even though being with Magnus did help him getting used to it, since Magnus was always at the center of everything.

“You’ll be okay,” Izzy said, before leaving him behind.

Jace entered the room only minutes later. “Everything’s ready, everyone’s ready. Magnus has arrived with Max. Jem is all set for the ceremony. Are you?”

Alec looked into his best friends eyes and nodded. “I am. And Jace? Thanks for being here with me. That means the world to me, you know?”

Jace smiled and pulled Alec into a hug. “I know. Now let’s get you married!”

He opened the door and let Alec pass. They walked through the corridor together toward the grand ballroom. At the entrance Isabelle stood with Alec’s children. Both of them holding a basket. Max smiled happily up to him when he saw him. Alec squatted down in front of him and ruffled his hair. “Hi baby, are you ready?”

Max nodded. “I’m going to throw the leaves and then sit next to grandma,” he announced.

“They’re not leaves, they’re petals,” corrected Rafe.

Before the two of them could start an argument about that, the Shadowhunter wedding theme song started to play. Alec stood up as Isabelle nudged the two boys to start walking. They went, throwing golden flower petals from their baskets onto the floor. Isabelle followed them down the aisle. When they arrived at the front, Jace and Alec started walking.

The seats on both sides of the aisle were filled with hundreds of people. Shadowhunters, warlocks, vampires, werewolves, faeries. There were even a few mundanes, Alec saw Simon’s mother and sister sitting in one of the rows. And next to them Tommy McPhearson with his mundane girlfriend. On the front row at the left side was Alec’s family. On the right he saw Maia and Bat, and next to them Lily and Elliott.

The hall was lit with golden lights and golden streamers dangled from the ceiling. Banners hung against the walls, adorned with the Lightwood family symbol. ‘We mean well’ it read on every single one of them, stitched with golden thread on the navy blue velvet.

At the front of the hall was a small podium on which Jem Carstairs stood. In front of him stood a small table with a stele upon it to perform the ceremony with.

Alec went to stand at his right, Jace behind him. It took another minute for the Shadowhunter wedding theme music to finish. Alec felt nerves twitching in his stomach as he turned to watch the back of the hall, waiting for the music to start and for his bridegroom to appear.

A hushed silence fell over the crowd. Alec heard his own heartbeat in his ears in the quiet, and he felt so scared all of a sudden. Why hadn’t the music started yet? Where was Magnus? Was he not going to show? All these thoughts rushed through him in a split second, and then he became aware of the first notes of the piano playing Tchaikovsky.

The doors in the back of the hall opened and there he was. 

Magnus.

Tessa was standing next to him but Alec barely registered her, his eyes fixed on his love.

They started walking forward slowly and Alec drank in the sight of his bridegroom approaching. He was looking back at him, his eyes twinkling. He wore a magnificent suit, navy-blue and from top to bottom stitched with rich golden patterns. It was a three-piece suit with a simple button down white shirt underneath it. He wore a black belt on it with a large golden belt buckle. His hair was stylishly swept over his forehead and some locks were golden streaked.

When he came closer, Alec noticed the golden eyeliner, which looked incredibly pretty, matching the color of his eyes. And his smile, his smile was able to light up the whole world, Alec was sure of that.

Magnus climbed the dais, and Tessa took her place behind him. Alec took both his hands and stared into his eyes, overwhelmed by a rush of emotion. Magnus squeezed his hands softly. 

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Alec replied, smiling widely. “You and I are here.”

“The least that can be expected.” Magnus smiled back.

Jem cleared his throat and Alec startled, dazed as he was by Magnus’s presence and his sheer beauty. They finally broke their stare and turned their heads toward the commissioner. 

“Alec, Magnus,” Jem said. “Welcome to this wonderful occasion on this wonderful day, your wedding day.”

He lifted his head and regarded the rest of the hall. “And everyone else here, friends, family, loved ones. Mundanes, vampires, warlocks, werewolves, faeries and Shadowhunters. You are all united today to witness the love of these two men made official in the bond of matrimony. Before they will apply the wedding Runes, Alec and Magnus will both speak a few words.”

Jem nodded at Alec to begin. He turned his attention back to Magnus, squeezing his hands.

“Do you know,” he started haltingly, almost struggling to get the sounds out of his mouth. “That there’s this special effect you can give to a ball when you throw it, which makes it leave its original flight path? That’s what happened to me when I met you. I left my original flight path. The path of the traditional Shadowhunter. For so long I thought that was the only option. That it wasn’t possible for me, to have this life, this love, with you. But I can, and you gave it to me. This magical love. Magnus, you are the world to me. More important to me than the world, like I told you when we were in Edom. ‘I don’t want the world. I want you.’ And now…”

He had to stop talking for a second, to swallow and breathe. Magnus was looking at him with an intensity that brought flutters in his stomach. He squeezed his hands reassuringly.

“And now here we are,” Alec continued. “Here we stand. And I promise you here, in front of our friends, our family, our sons, that I will love you until the end of time. And I will take you as my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer, for poorer, to love and to cherish. You are my destiny, the meaning of my life. My highest calling is to love you. Heart, body and soul.”

Magnus’s eyes were shining dangerously now, and Alec felt his throat closing. By the Angel, he hadn’t expect this to be so emotional. He swallowed again and sighed before he continued.

“It’s such a privilege, Magnus, to spend my life loving you. You’re so wonderful, so beautiful, so funny, so magical.

I want you

It’s that simple sometimes

And it hasn’t changed

Since the day we met

I love you

That will always be true

My heart is yours completely

Forever

Even if I die

I don’t want the world

I want you.

Do you know this special effect that made my life change so drastically, for the better? It’s called the Magnus Effect.”

Alec stopped speaking and watched Magnus smile. There were tears in his eyes and he wiped a hand over them, which smudged the golden eyeliner a bit. Alec breathed in deeply when Magnus started speaking.

“Alexander, my love, my world. To love you, there isn’t anything greater than that. I’ve lived a long life, and seen many things. By the time I met you, I thought I’d seen it all. Could I have been more wrong? Because when you stepped into my life you saved it. You said you didn’t think it was possible for you to have this life, this love with me. I didn’t believe it was possible either. To marry, to start a family. But with you I have both.”

Alec felt the tears prick in his eyes as he smiled at Magnus, who had stopped speaking for a short while. He knew Magnus hadn’t expected marriage and a family, and the fact that he’d gotten them both with him made him so happy. All he wanted was Magnus’s happiness, and the fact that he had given that to him was beyond wonderful.

“You have to know how privileged I am,” Magnus continued. “How insanely lucky I am to have you. You are the steadiness when the world is spinning. You are the solid ground when the waves are crashing. You are so beautiful, inside and out. With such a big heart, and such a loving nature. You are so easy to love, and I’m intensely grateful that you chose to love me. And I promise you now, today, in front of everyone present here, that I will love you forever. Take care of you forever, be with you, hold you when you need me to, and let you hold me when I need you to. I’ll cry with you, I’ll laugh with you, I’ll raise our sons with you. I am yours, body, heart and soul, I am yours.

To love you

Is there anything greater?

You are my life

It was such a long time ago

But now there’s meaning

You give me meaning

The world can be new again

And full of wonders

Full of love

And first things

You are my first so many things

I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”

The tears were falling down Alec’s cheeks now, there was no way to stop them. Magnus reached out a hand to wipe them away, but he was crying too. Alec copied his movement and gently brushed his fingers over Magnus’s cheeks, smiling through his tears.

He felt so overwhelmed to hear Magnus say these wonderful things to him. Even after all these years of being together, he still wasn’t used to it. To hearing this. To knowing that he was so important for Magnus. That Magnus loved him like he loved Magnus. And now, from today on, he could call him his husband.

Is there anything greater?

 


	120. The Wedding - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG this is the last one. I don't even know what to say. But thank you all for your support and wonderful comments. I'm so emotional right now, can't believe this immense journey is coming to its end. Who knows I might write some more, but I can't promise anything. What I can say is that chapter 8, their first date, will be updated soon, because I've rewritten that one. And you know, my heart keeps beating for Malec, I can't leave them alone, so I might add to this or might start a sequel. #teammalecforever  
> This chapter starts with the vows from Magnus’s POV, so there will be a little repetition, but I think it’s very important to know both their reactions to the vows. So here goes, the wedding, part 2:

####  _**Magnus** _

Magnus was pretty sure he’d never seen an Alec as beautiful as the one standing before him today. The golden brown suit brought out the blue in his eyes. They were shining like sapphires, his whole face seemed alight as if he was coated in happiness.

Alec reached out and took his hands as he walked the few steps up to dais and went to stand across from him. “Hi,” Magnus said.

“Hi,” Alec replied, smiling. “You and I are here.”

“The least that can be expected,” Magnus said.

He heard Jem clearing his throat, and with some difficulty he looked away from Alec and toward Jem.

“Alec, Magnus,” Jem said. “Welcome to this wonderful occasion on this wonderful day, your wedding day. And everyone else here, friends, family, loved ones. Mundanes, vampires, warlocks, werewolves, faeries and Shadowhunters. You are all united today to witness the love of these two men made official in the bond of matrimony. Before they will apply the wedding Runes Alec and Magnus will both speak a few words.”

Jem nodded toward Alec, and Magnus turned to face his bridegroom again. Alec squeezed his hands and started to speak.

“Do you know that there’s this special effect you can give to a ball when you throw it, which makes it leave its original flight path? That’s what happened to me when I met you. I left my original flight path. The path of the traditional Shadowhunter. For so long I thought that was the only option. That it wasn’t possible for me, to have this life, this love, with you. But I can, and you gave it to me. This magical love. Magnus, you are the world to me. More important to me than the world, like I told you when we were in Edom. ‘I don’t want the world. I want you.’ And now…”

He stopped talking for a second. Magnus noticed how his eyes were shining so brightly. And his words, ‘I don’t want the world. I want you.’ There was a part of him that could still hardly believe it. That Alec, with his holy mandate to save the world from demons, would choose him over the world. He squeezed Alec’s hands, partly to reassure him, but for an even bigger part it was to assure himself that this was really happening.

“And now here we are,” Alec continued. “Here we stand. And I promise you here, in front of our friends, our family, our sons, that I will love you until the end of time. And I will take you as my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer, for poorer, to love and to cherish. You are my destiny, the meaning of my life. My highest calling is to love you. Heart, body and soul.”

Alec stopped talking again, and Magnus had to swallow hard to choke back the tears. Alec’s words, so traditional, so standard really, touched him profoundly. Because these standard, traditional words, words he’d heard so many times, were never meant for him. But today they were, and he loved Alec for choosing these words.

“It’s such a privilege, Magnus, to spend my life loving you,” Alec spoke. “You’re so wonderful, so beautiful, so funny, so magical.

I want you

It’s that simple sometimes

And it hasn’t changed

Since the day we met

I love you

That will always be true

My heart is yours completely

Forever

Even if I die

I don’t want the world

I want you.

Do you know this special effect that made my life change so drastically, for the better? It’s called the Magnus effect.”

Magnus smiled then. He knew that, obviously, he had chosen his name for many reasons, and this was one of them. But for Alec to say it, that was truly wonderful. He let go of Alec’s hand and wiped over his own eyes, not caring that it would probably ruin his makeup. Then he started speaking.

“Alexander, my love, my world. To love you, there isn’t anything greater than that. I’ve lived a long life, and seen many things. By the time I met you, I thought I’d seen it all. Could I have been more wrong? Because when you stepped into my life you saved it. You said you didn’t think it was possible for you to have this life, this love with me. I didn’t believe it was possible either. To marry, to start a family. But with you I have both.”

Magnus understood now why Alec had to stop talking during his speech. He felt the same breathlessness. Alec’s eyes were shining and he smiled at him. Magnus heaved a deep breath before he could continue.

“You have to know how privileged I am. How insanely lucky I am to have you. You are the steadiness when the world is spinning. You are the solid ground when the waves are crashing. You are so beautiful, inside and out. With such a big heart, and such a loving nature. You are so easy to love, and I’m intensely grateful that you chose to love me. And I promise you now, today, in front of everyone present here, that I will love you forever. Take care of you forever, be with you, hold you when you need me to, and let you hold me when I need you to. I’ll cry with you, I’ll laugh with you, I’ll raise our sons with you. I am yours, body, heart and soul, I am yours.

To love you

Is there anything greater?

You are my life

It was such a long time ago

But now there’s meaning

You give me meaning

The world can be new again

And full of wonders

Full of love

And first things

You are my first so many things.

I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”

There were tears slowly sliding from Alec’s cheeks. Carefully, Magnus reached out a hand and wiped them away, while he felt the wetness from his own tears on his face at the same time. Alec smiled and copied Magnus’s movement, brushing his fingers over Magnus’s cheeks.

After a short moment of silence Jem spoke up, telling them it was time for the Rune ceremony. Both Alec and Magnus took off their jackets and handed them to Jace and Tessa. Magnus took off the cuff link on the right sleeve of his shirt and rolled it up to the elbow, and then he unbuttoned his shirt. Alec had done the same in the meantime and Jem handed him the stele.

“A Rune on the arm and a Rune on the heart,” Jem said. “To seal the bond of matrimony.”

Alec took Magnus’s right wrist in his left hand and set the stele to Magnus’s arm. Before he started to draw he looked up and into his eyes. “Ready?”

Magnus smiled and nodded. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”

Alec started drawing the Rune ever so careful. Magnus watched as the black swirls took form on his arm. It felt a little weird, a tingling feeling against his skin, and when Alec was done he felt the power of the Rune. As if some sort of invisible bond was taking shape between them. Some unnamed power connecting him to the one who had drawn that Rune on his arm.

Alec handed him the stele and held out his right arm. Magnus took his wrist and drew the exact same Rune on Alec’s arm. When he was done, the power of the Rune was enhanced. He felt the existence of some life wire between them now, a connection that was permanent.

He gave Alec the stele back, and exposed his chest. Alec set the stele on his skin, right where his heart was, and repeated the swirling lines. Magnus felt it in the core of his being, it seemed as if his heart started beating a little faster. As if it was beating for Alec, which it was, but now officially.

Alec looked up from his work, gave him the stele and moved his shirt aside. Magnus copied the Rune on Alec’s chest and when he was done something snapped into place between them. The bond they had together for years now was intensified, and the magic of the Runes thrummed through them, bringing them together, making them belong to each other.

Magnus put the stele back on the table and looked into Alec’s eyes. “Is it supposed to feel like this?” he whispered.

“I don’t know,” Alec replied, chuckling.

Jem smiled and announced in a loud voice, “The Runes have been placed. By the power of Shadowhunter law, in the name of Clave and Covenant, I pronounce you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood and Magnus Bane, legally married. You may kiss each other.”

Alec moved forward and wrapped both his arms around Magnus’s neck. Their lips met while the whole room started cheering and clapping. Magnus hardly heard them over the beating of his own heart and Alec’s, as their bodies collided. Alec kissed him like he’d kissed him the first time they kissed, such a long time ago. Uninhibited and utterly sincere, all of his lanky warrior’s body focused on what it wanted, all of his open heart in it as well. And Magnus’s heart sang: Alec is here. Alec is here with me.

They broke off the kiss finally, and turned around to face the crowd. Magnus grasped Alec’s hand and pumped their joined fists in the air. “Woohoo!! Yeah!!” he yelled, making everybody laugh.

Tessa handed him back the cufflink and his jacket, and he shrugged them on. In the meantime, Jem had arranged for two chairs on the podium and gestured for them to sit. Magnus wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but obeyed, sinking down in one of the chairs, Alec next to him. They linked their fingers, smiling happily at each other.

At the other end of the dais stood a grand piano behind which Jace had taken place. Then Rafe stood from his chair and climbed up the podium.

“Dad, Papa,” he said, “Uncle Jace and I have prepared something for you.”

A hush fell over the room as Jace started playing the piano. And then, to Magnus’s great surprise, Rafe began to sing, in this beautiful, little boy’s voice.

 

_ I need you, and you need me _

_ Left alone, we will never be who we could be _

_ So take my hand and don't forget that _

_ We can do anything together _

 

_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _

_ Just one drop of your love _

_ A single ray of sun _

_ Just one thing to change the world _

_ It's just you and me _

_ Starting with a dream _

_ And giving it all we've got _

_ It only takes one drop _

 

_ Come with me now, look and see how _

_ There's an ocean overflowing with our hope so _

_ Let's jump in and take a swim, it's _

_ You and me, yeah forever _

 

_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _

_ Just one drop of your love _

_ A single ray of sun _

_ Just one thing to change the world _

_ It's just you and me _

_ Starting with a dream _

_ And giving it all we've got _

_ Only takes one drop _

_ I need you, and you need me _

_ We can do anything together _

 

The piano played the last notes of the tune when Alec and Magnus started applauding. The rest of the room followed suit. Alec was on his feet and hugged his son. Magnus looked at his husband as he said to Rafe how amazing it was. He got up and joined them in the hug. Of course that wasn’t to Max’s liking, he wanted in. So he ran from his spot next to Maryse, and Magnus caught him in his arms.

Alec lifted Rafe and the four of them stood in a tight circle together, hugging each other for dear life.

“That was amazing, Rafe,” Magnus said.

Jace came from behind the piano and clapped Alec on the shoulder. “Time for cake,” he announced brightly. He took Tessa’s arm and walked with her through the aisle back to the entrance. Alec and Magnus followed them with their sons on their arms. Through the corridor to another large room where a couple dozen tables were set for coffee, cake, and later dinner.

The room looked exactly as Magnus had envisioned it. Each table adorned with centerpieces with golden lilies. Ribbons were bound around the chairs. A large Lightwood banner hung above the main table in the middle of the room. There was a small podium where a string quartet was playing Magnus’s favorite classical music.

In front of the main table stood the cake. Several layers of sponge cake covered with golden icing, flowers, and twinkling candy diamonds. The cake topper consisted of a miniature of Alec and Magnus, something Magnus had made himself and thought was pretty great.

The hall filled with guests while Alec and Magnus cut the first piece of the cake and fed each other a piece. Alec laughed as his nose turned golden from the icing, and Magnus licked it off.

“Ew, Papa, that’s disgusting,” commented Rafe. But Magnus laughed and waved his objection away.

They sat down, talked and laughed with each other and their friends and family. Presents were handed out, people came to congratulate them. Coffee and cake were passed out to everyone, and after that was consumed the first course of a multi course dinner was served. Coquilles with whipped cauliflower cream and small pieces of bacon dipped in salted caramel.

During dinner there were speeches, a lot of them. Funny speeches, lovely speeches. Jace’s was way too long in Magnus’s not so humble opinion. People laughed, people cried. There was talk about people who were sorely missed, and people who were there but they could’ve done without. Lily spoke of the Downworld-Shadowhunter alliance which was only a success because of Alec, which Magnus thought was a bit offensive to himself, but also entirely true.

The second course came. Salmon with asparagus. The third course was a perfectly cooked steak with mushrooms and a red wine sauce. Then came the Indonesian dishes Alec had ordered especially for him. He had claimed he wanted something of Magnus’s Indonesian heritage there. Though Magnus thought it wasn’t fitting within the theme, he’d subsided, since Alec had been really adamant about it.

Just before dessert was served, a last dish was brought in for the two of them to share. When the lit was lifted both Alec and Magnus gasped when they recognized what was on the plate. Raw kitfo, tibs, doro wat, spicey red onion stew, mashed lentils and collards, injera, and penne arrabiata.

It was the exact same dish as they’d eaten together on their first date. Magnus looked at Alec accusingly. “Did you do this?”

But Alec looked just as confused as he did. “I had no idea. Who else knew we had this on our first date?”

“The cook, Luigi.” It was Isabelle who spoke. She smiled brightly at them. “I went to the restaurant and asked him, and he remembered!”

“This is really nice, Izzy,” Alec said.

“Let’s hope the penne isn’t too arrabiata this time,” Magnus said, smiling.

“Do you remember?” Alec exclaimed. “I thought I was dying, seriously.”

Of course no one knew what he was talking about, so Magnus explained to everyone within hearing distance how a vindictive werewolf waiter had put too much spices on the penne, making Alec almost choke to death.

“How times have changed,” Maia commented dryly.

Dessert consisted of flambéed pineapple with vanilla and coconut ice cream. Max smeared some of it on Magnus’s trousers, but Magnus didn’t care, he was too happy to be bothered about looking fabulous.

The door on the far end of the room opened and a delivery woman came in carrying a large cardboard box. “Delivery for Magnus Lightwood-Bane,” she called through the room.

Magnus stood up and began to wave enthusiastically. “That’s me! I’m Magnus Lightwood-Bane. God, I love my new name!”

The woman approached the table and placed the box in front of him. Alec reached for it to open it, but Magnus grabbed his hand. “It’s for me.”

“Yeah, but we’re married now,” Alec replied, his eyes were twinkling as he said it. “So it’s equally mine.”

Eventually they decided to open it together. Inside were a hundred yellow, plastic minions. Alec started laughing heartily and emptied the box in front of them, covering the table with the tiny creatures.

“Oh Magnus!” Alec was wiping the tears out of his eyes. “You are just… There’s no one like you.”

Max gave an enthusiastic yelp and picked up an armful of minions. “Papa, make them live?”

“No,” Magnus shook his head, but he couldn’t help the smile on his face. “No, I don’t think that’s going to be such a good idea.”

Alec had calmed down a bit and started putting the minions back in the box. “You know what, Max? You can take the box with you to Grandma’s tonight, okay? You and Rafe can play with it while Papa and I are away.”

Alec closed the box and handed it to Maryse, then he wrapped an arm around Magnus’s shoulders. “That was seriously hilarious.”

Magnus smiled. “I really don’t remember why I ordered them in the first place.”

“Me, neither. But I love it!”

After dinner the room was cleared of tables and a band took the place of the string quartet. Magnus took Alec’s hand and brought him to the middle of the dance floor for their opening dance.

“We’re not going to dance this entire song alone, now are we?” Alec asked, a little panic stricken.

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist and pulled him close. “Don’t worry about it, husband. I’m here, focus on me.”

Alec placed his hands around Magnus’s neck and nodded. The song was quite slow, and they swayed together over the dance floor.

“Have I told you yet that you look really beautiful today?” Magnus asked.

Alec shook his head, the corners of his mouth quirking up.

“I haven’t?” Magnus raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry. It should’ve been the first thing I said. Because you do, you look absolutely stunning in this golden suit.”

“Thanks,” Alec replied. Magnus loved the way he said it, so unassuming, a little shy even. Alec still wasn’t used to being the center of someone else’s world.

“You look really good too,” Alec continued. “This suit is lovely.”

He traced with a finger over the golden patterns on Magnus’s jacket. Magnus looked at him and forgot about this hall, and all the people watching them. All he saw was Alec.

“Do you still feel it?” Alec asked.

Magnus didn’t need to ask what he meant, he just nodded. Every single moment since the ceremony he felt the thrumming of the Rune magic through his veins. The strong connection he felt with Alec. “Will it stay like this? I mean, I feel a constant buzzing in my entire body. I feel like you’re a magnet and I’m irrevocably drawn to you. Not that I mind it one bit.”

Alec shook his head. “I asked my mom. She said it stays really strong in the beginning of the marriage, but after a while you’ll get used to it and it won’t be this extreme. But the bond stays. She said that for her it faded and disappeared when my father died, but not even in the time they were separated.”

“So that means it will be like this until one of us dies,” Magnus commented. “I like it. I like being attached to you. I love you.”

“Me too,” Alec whispered. He laid his head against Magnus’s shoulder, and Magnus tightened his arms around him. “I love you too,” Alec said softly in his ear.

The dance floor filled with other people, couples standing close together. Magnus looked around and his eye fell on a couple dancing a little away from them. He nudged Alec gently.

“Alec, look!”

Alec lifted his head and looked into the direction where Magnus had spotted the werewolf Colin, wrapped in an intimate embrace with Eliott. Eliott! The vampire.

Alec’s eyes went wide when he saw it, then a smile appeared on his face. “No way,” he said.

“Way,” Magnus laughed.

“Eliott?” Alec’s voice was filled with disbelief. “Eliott and Colin?

“Yeah, it’s the first time I’ve seen it too,” Magnus said. “I knew Eliott isn’t really particular, he likes both men and women. But I haven’t seen him with anyone in decades.”

Alec looked a bit pensive. “I really hope they’re going to be happy together. I really do. It’s going to be tough though, with the immortality issue.”

Magnus felt a sharp tug inside of him at Alec’s words. “We deal with it,” he said softly.

Alec’s blue eyes fixed on him, and there was a softness in them that touched something inside of him.

“I wish there were a way,” Alec said slowly. “I want you to know that. I always said I don’t want to become immortal, but lately I’ve been thinking about it more and more. And I hate it that the offer of that horrible demon is not an option. Because, Magnus, if I could, I would stay with you forever. I don’t want to leave you.”

Magnus stared open mouthed at him. “Alexander, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’m sorry I can’t become immortal,” Alec continued. “When I spoke with Colin a few months ago, he said he’d be better for me because he was my age, and he was going to grow old, with me. And I realized, over the last few months, that I don’t want it. Obviously, no one likes to grow old, but it’s not just that. It’s leaving you behind that bothers me. I still feel Jace’s pain, and I know with a certainty that it will never go away. It’s something I don’t want for you. You’ve been through so much, lived through so much loss and pain and heartbreak. It’s enough. You’ve had enough. All I want is for you to be happy.”

Alec fell silent for a moment, while they continued to sway to the music. Magnus was baffled and didn’t know what to reply.

“For a long time I didn’t believe that for you to be happy, I needed to live. I always thought you’d get over me, you know? You’d mourn, you’d always love me and remember me, but eventually you’d move on,” Alec said. “But today, when the power of that Rune kicked in and I felt this strong, amazing connection with you, I suddenly knew. Like, really knew, that it’s the same for you as it is for me. If I’d lose you…”

He halted and swallowed. Magnus stared at him, wide eyed. “I just can’t lose you,” Alec said. “And now I know you can’t lose me either. So I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I’m mortal.”

His eyes were filled with tears suddenly. Hastily, Magnus placed a hand on his cheek and brushed a thumb over his cheekbone. “My Alec, don’t cry,” he whispered. “Don’t apologize for something that isn’t your fault. I love you, and I love the things you just said about not wanting to leave me. God, Alexander.”

He wrapped both his arms around Alec and pulled him close. “Alexander,” he said in Alec’s ear. “We’ll be okay. I’m happy now. We’re happy. I love you and I’m so glad that I can call you my husband now.”

“I love you too,” Alec whispered.

They stood like that for a little while longer, holding on to each other. But then the music changed to a more upbeat song, and Magnus let go of Alec. Alec smiled through his  tears and wiped a hand over Magnus’s cheek. “Don’t cry,” he said. “We’re at a party.”

Magnus laughed and shook his head. “You’re amazing, Alexander. Come on, let’s dance.”

Rafe and Max joined them on the dance floor. Tessa was there with Jem. Maia and Bat were dancing together. Jace was dancing with Lily, which Magnus thought was a strange match. Simon was exploiting the most awful moves. Magnus was pretty sure they were illegal in some countries. And if not, they should be, because it was horrible to watch.

They danced the night away, as was the intention. Their talk about immortality was swept to the back of Magnus’s mind as he moved to the rhythm with his husband and their children. Life was good.

It was way past midnight when Alec, a little tipsy, wrapped an arm around Magnus’s neck and whispered in his ear, a little too loudly. “Let’s get out of here. Because I want you.”

Magnus laughed heartily. “You do?  That’s good. Sounds like a great plan, Alexander.”

Alec took his hand and they walked to the podium together. The bandleader handed Alec his microphone. Magnus indicated Tessa to make a portal for them. To Paris.

“Yo yo yo!” Alec yelled through the microphone, making Magnus laugh once again. He was so funny, drunk Alec. He loved him. “People and partygoers! Mundanes, warlocks, werewolves! Vampires, faeries, Shadowhunters!”

Everyone cheered and Alec waved with his hand, trying to silence them all. He sobered up a little. “We’ve come to say thank you,” he said. “Thank you for joining us in this awesome party. For witnessing us getting married.”

He lifted their linked hands in the air. “We’re married!” he shouted.

People cheered and applauded. “Seriously though,” Alec continued. “We really appreciate you coming. We love you all.” He turned toward where his family was standing. Max on Maryse’s arms.

“Jace, my parabatai. Thank you for being my  _ sugenes _ today. Thanks for having my back! Izzy, Simon! Thanks for being wonderful masters of ceremony. Mom, thanks for giving birth to me, I guess. I owe you! Max, Rafe, our babies! Be good to Grandma, we love you both so much.”

Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand as Alec carried on talking. “So thanks for coming. We’re leaving now. But before we go, I’d like to give the floor to the one and only, the magnificent High Warlock of Brooklyn, my husband. Magnus Lightwood-Bane!”

He smiled widely as he pushed the microphone in Magnus’s hand. Magnus shook his head, smiling. “Cutie pie,” he muttered. Then he raised the microphone to his mouth. “People! What can I say. My wonderful Shadowhunter husband has already said everything that needed to be said. So, here’s what you do: Enjoy yourselves! Dance the night away! Drink another one to our health, and remember: Life is now!”

He handed the microphone back to the singer, and together they walked off the podium toward the portal. Tessa was standing next to it, and Alec’s family approached to say goodbye. Alec hugged Jace and Isabelle, while Magnus picked Rafe from the floor and kissed him on his cheek.

“Bye, baby boy,” he said. “Be nice to your brother and listen to Grandma. I love you.”

“I’ll miss you,” Rafe replied.

“I know, pop, but we’ll be back soon, okay?” He handed Rafe over to Alec and picked Max from his arms. “You be good, little blueberry?”

Max nodded, but suddenly his eyes filled with tears. “Max not wanna leave,” he said.

“Max isn’t going to leave,” Magnus replied, kissing his son’s forehead. “You can play with Rafe and Grandma this week, and Daddy and I will be back before you know it. I love you, baby.”

“I love you too,” said Max and he wrapped his arms tightly around Magnus’s neck. Magnus carefully extricated himself and handed his exhausted son to his grandmother.

Alec took his hand. “You ready?” he asked.

Magnus nodded and together they stepped through the portal. The people staying behind were waving and yelling to them to have fun. “Ready for the first day of the rest of our lives,” Magnus said.

They landed in the exact same spot in Paris where they had their first holiday, so many years ago. In the garden of the Notre Dame Cathedral. Behind them the shimmering of the portal started to fade and the sunlight of Paris’s early morning sun coated them, making Magnus blink.

He looked into the gorgeous blue eyes of Alexander Lightwood-Bane standing next to him and sighed deep in utter contentment. Because Alec was here.

His husband. His love. His world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Rafe sings is called 'Just on drop' from Plumb.  
> Thank you all again so so so much! <3333333
> 
> I don't want the world, I want you


	121. BONUS: The Honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So okay, seriously though. This is a honeymoon bonus, but it is definitely the last chapter. No more bonuses after this one. I wrote it a little while ago as a birthday present for a friend, but I thought: let's give it to you too. So here's a little story about what happened after Malec stepped through the portal. And warning: It's smutty, smutty smut!!!

_ If I lay here. _

_ If I just lay here. _

_ Would you lie with me. _

_ And just forget the world. _

 

  * __Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars__



 

* * *

####  **_Alec_ **

Alec saw the last shimmering of the Portal fade in Paris’s morning sun. He turned to gaze at his husband, who was looking back at him, his beautiful cat eyes shining.

“We’re here,” Magnus said, smiling. He raised a hand, and Alec knew he was going to de-glamour them. Before he could do so, Alec grabbed his wrist.

“Not yet,” he said.

“Why not?” Magnus raised his eyebrows in question.

“Remember last time?” Alec asked, while pulling Magnus to him. “When we made out against the church wall and the French police got mad at us, calling us stupid tourists?”

Magnus grinned. “I remember.”

Alec brushed with his lips over his husband’s. “I want to make out with you here, against the church wall. Maybe better to stay glamoured, unless we want to spend the rest of our honeymoon in a French police office.”

“Don’t want to do that,” Magnus muttered. He pressed his lips against Alec’s, and Alec let himself drown in him. He walked him backwards until Magnus was standing against the church wall, and he aligned his body with his husband’s.

The magic of the marriage Rune was coursing through his body, making him want to close all the distance between them. He pulled at Magnus, his hands disappearing under Magnus’s shirt, running over his smooth back. Magnus parted his lips and their tongues and teeth clashed in a hot and hungry kiss. The feel of Magnus set fire in Alec’s body. He wanted him, all of him. He needed him.

And he knew Magnus felt it too. He wrapped his arms around Alec and pressed their bodies together. Alec’s mouth left his, and he trailed a line of kisses down his neck to the collar of his shirt.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, his voice hoarse from desire. “I want you so badly.”

“Here, against the church?” Magnus replied mirthfully.

“I don’t care about that,” Alec replied. “All I know is that I want you, I need you.”

He bit down on Magnus’s neck, and Magnus whimpered, the sound resonating in Alec’s ears, making his want even stronger. “You can have me,” Magnus whispered.

Alec’s hands moved down over Magnus’s butt and his upper legs, and he pulled him up. In reply Magnus wrapped his legs around Alec’s waist, and flicked a finger.

“What are you doing?” Alec asked.

“Making it a bit more comfortable,” Magnus replied. “The wall is hard, I softened it a bit so you can have your way with me.”

Alec groaned in reply and crashed his lips once more against Magnus’s. His hands grabbed Magnus’s buttocks, and he grind his body against his. “By the Angel, Magnus,” he panted. “I’m so fucking hot for you.”

Magnus unwrapped himself from him, and opened his pants to undress himself. He kicked off his shoes and then his pants were off. Alec stared at him, at the fitting black boxers and the bulge in it. He reached out a hand and cupped him, making Magnus gasp. Magnus opened his pants next and pulled them down. Then both their boxers were off too, somehow.

Normally Alec would’ve taken more time, but now, all he felt was the burning desire to make love to his husband. He lifted him up against the wall, and Magnus wrapped his legs around his waist once more. Alec’s hands moved down between Magnus’s butt cheeks. Without hesitation, he moved a finger around Magnus’s rim and entered him slowly.

Magnus gasped against his mouth, and let out a soft moan. “Alexander.”

Alec moved his finger inside of him, while continuing to press their bodies close, and kissing Magnus senseless. To kiss him senseless, that was all he wanted, all he would want for the rest of his life. And to feel Magnus’s lips on his, their tongues swirling around each other. Inside of him, the tension was knotting in his stomach, spiraling down to his abdomen and his groin. His hard erection was twitching, longing to bury himself inside his love, his husband.

He carefully added a second finger, opening Magnus up for him to swallow him whole. Magnus was panting now, lifting his head. He pressed it against the wall behind him, while Alec kissed his throat, lapping and sucking his skin. 

“Alexander,” he moaned. “I love you. Take me, baby. I’m yours.”

Alec lifted his head, and pressed a kiss on Magnus’s swollen lips, while adding a third finger inside of him. “I’m going to show you heaven,” he whispered, while pulling Magnus up, a little higher against the wall.

“Take me,” Magnus repeated. His voice heavy with desire. “I want you to.”

Alec nodded, and carefully extricated his fingers. He guided his trembling cock to Magnus’s entrance, and with his arm, he lowered Magnus down on him. Slowly, very slowly he was engulfed in Magnus’s incredible heat all around him. Magnus was gasping and sucking in breath while Alec filled him completely. When he was all the way inside of him, they stayed still for a good while. Magnus was staring down at him, his eyes shining brightly. 

“Alexander,” he whispered. His hand was in Alec’s hair, he pulled at him. “You feel so good inside of me. So whole. You make me feel complete. And grounded. And home.”

He bend down his head and they kissed, a hard, a messy kiss. A kiss filled with desire. Alec started moving his hips, retreating from Magnus, almost all the way out of him. Then he thrust forward, and Magnus moaned loudly when he filled him up once more. 

“Yes, there, Alexander. There, do it again,” he whimpered.

And Alec did. He moved slowly, and with every thrust he hit his husband there where he knew it would make him soar.  

Soon they were both moaning and breathing heavily. Alec sped up the pace a little, and the movement made the spiral in his stomach swirl around and around inside of him. Every bone in his body turned liquid. He felt as if he was completely one with Magnus now. One in their bliss. One in that glorious feeling, that wonder, that love. They were flying together. 

Magnus urged him on. “Faster, baby. Faster.” 

He was looking down on him, his eyes shining, his lips red and swollen from their kisses. There was so much love in the way he looked at him, it made Alec’s heart jump.

And Alec thrust deep inside of him, over and over again, moving faster now, and deeper with every thrust. He started moaning as the spiraling feeling inside of him grew, and he knew he was close to coming. He needed to wait though, to make sure Magnus was there too.

His hand moved from Magnus’s hip to his front and circled around his erection, and he squeezed softly. Magnus cried out at the touch. “Alexander!” 

Once more, Alec thrust hard, and with that he felt Magnus’s release spill hot over his hand. Magnus threw his head against the wall and moaned, his eyes tightly shut. Alec thrust again, and felt the orgasm wash over him as he followed Magnus in his ascend. He moved once, twice, three times more inside of him, emptying himself completely, before he subsided and laid his head against Magnus’s chest, sighing deeply. 

Magnus’s hands were in his hair, as he pulled him close, and Alec inhaled his familiar scent, as he buried his face in Magnus’s shirt. He felt Magnus’s fingers slowly massaging his scalp, as his breathing started to even out. 

“You are so amazing,” Magnus said. “I love you so much, my husband. My depraved husband. Having me against a church wall. I love it.”

Alec looked up into his eyes, as Magnus cupped his cheek, and smiled at him. “Glad you approve,” he said. “That was amazing. You were amazing.”

He moved out of Magnus, and Magnus slowly removed his legs from Alec’s waist. “Wow,” he said. “My legs are shaky.”

He stood against the wall, regaining balance, and pulled Alec in the circle of his arms. “Let’s just stand here for a second,” he mumbled in Alec’s hair. 

“I’m fine with standing here,” Alec replied. “As long as you stand here with me.”

Magnus's voice came soft as a whisper. "And just forget the world."


End file.
